The Humanz Race Show
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The Humanz Race Show
S6 Ep.#21- Boyfriend Voice
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The Crew Talks About Being Nice To Customers, Farting In Public, Women Farting, TV Shows, Social Media Algorithms, Remembering Phone Numbers, 80's Commercials, And Other Nonsense.
I was gonna hit off the hearty R on the Oh motherfucker.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_08That's what I was going for.
SPEAKER_05Welcome to the human trade show. It's Derek, Jeff, and Abe.
SPEAKER_08Look who shut up. On the last episode. On the last episode, yeah.
SPEAKER_05We gotcha. We gotcha.
SPEAKER_04It's it's been uh one week since elected you.
SPEAKER_05It's been a week. And we've been waiting for each other.
SPEAKER_04It's been a week, yeah. For a whole week, dude. Whole week. Trying to show up. Well, it was 1530 when I got here. It's 1800 now.
SPEAKER_08Yeah. Alright. But this is next week. This is the following week, bro. I don't want to bring up old shit. Yeah. It's the following week.
SPEAKER_05But I just the next week. Yeah. It's the next episode. This isn't this isn't episode two of the same day. Yeah. What are you talking about? Welcome to the show. How you going? Good, dude. How are you? Good.
SPEAKER_04He sounds out of breath like he ran here. First off, I was flying the hundred on highway 89. Nice. All right. I mean, allegedly. Allegedly. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Flying down the highway. Um, some ass over the landscaping fucking trailer with his leaves flying everywhere. You know, because those guys.
SPEAKER_05You can throw out a shout out to their name.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, shout-out fucking.
SPEAKER_08No, he's he's he's saying it because he does it too. Oh, bro. I patched him. Hey, that's how you that's how you uh you you uh you don't pay so much at the weight dump. Yeah, you lose like a corner of it on the weight. No, no.
SPEAKER_04My favorite was one time I went to pay at the weight station. The lady's like, you should stand back on the weight again. And I go, why? She goes, You're gonna pay less. I'm like, about that fat. She's like, Hey man. She's like, stand back on there.
SPEAKER_05Get off. That's that fucking weight station is wild.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, dude. Have you seen the new one?
SPEAKER_05You go out here to the local one. No, no, I go to top. Yeah, if you go out here, fucking pain at your ass. Yeah. You go out there, you bring a whole trailer worth of shit.
SPEAKER_08Seven bucks.
SPEAKER_05Like, fuck yeah.
SPEAKER_08Dude, are we shooting off a rocket to fucking the moon right now? We are. And you said wait station. Wait station. Not way station. Way station.
SPEAKER_04Like, don't be away.
SPEAKER_05Away.
SPEAKER_08Yeah. Because they're gonna weigh you in. It's not oh yeah. By the way. But I just thought of like, why were why are we waiting? I don't know.
SPEAKER_05Wait, like your weight. Yeah, whatever. Is that the Hooters Calendar? Understand.
SPEAKER_04Singapore.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Yeah, that's my new Hooter calendar.
SPEAKER_04Hooters calendar? Oh, buddy.
SPEAKER_05Well, Vinny's got his. It's still sitting on his fucking dresser.
SPEAKER_04Is it all stuck together?
SPEAKER_05I can't open it.
SPEAKER_07I wanted to check out Miss December. Apparently not. It smelled like chlorine too for some reason.
SPEAKER_05So I was I was listening to episodes today, and the one I'm putting out is you were missing for a while too.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, buddy, I'm the worst.
SPEAKER_05We talked about so we need another Abe update. What the fuck have you been up to? Did you do that? Oh my god, bro.
SPEAKER_04What what what what can I I mean, work, dude? Work has been on.
SPEAKER_05It's the same episode as last time.
SPEAKER_04Same episode as last time. So I've been working on this project. Hey. How about that weather out there? They hate it.
SPEAKER_05Just go out there fucking Abe out and chopper.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. It's been 91 degrees, so of course everybody wanted outside stuff this last few weeks. So, you know, that's kind of kind of what the what the story's been.
SPEAKER_05You know, usually I like to we get it. This is fucking what it is.
SPEAKER_04Well, usually I'd like to hire extra painters, but you know, they cost quite a bit. Exact same episode as they want they want like you know 65 bucks an hour. I know that's to stand there speaking Spanish and curse out the owners, you know.
SPEAKER_05I know Jeff just goes out there acting like he's a boss.
SPEAKER_04Oh bro, it's it's the last job we did. Put it that way. Back when he was uh oh, I'm sipping.
SPEAKER_05No sipping, I need I need a glass back.
SPEAKER_04I'm sorry. So yeah.
SPEAKER_05Sipper is a shot glass.
SPEAKER_04Last uh last uh uh job we did when I saw Jeff talking to the customer the way he was, I was like, oh, okay, he's down the cool with the customers.
SPEAKER_05Uh well it's an art, dude. That's what I do, man. No, it's an art. It is. You can be professional and nice about things. And and people respect that, but you can have a little corporate Jeffness in him, which which he reads. He's not dumb. Right, right.
SPEAKER_04No, his report with customers is.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, he's not just throwing out the what the fuck do you want? Yeah, yeah, not doing that. He's very well people actually got a paint job today. And you know what? Being your style of goofy and little crass works. People feel comfortable with that. Yeah. Well, they if if and you're good at reading that shit. Yeah. Well, they're just always so nice.
SPEAKER_04I miss though. People that don't cuss, people that don't cuss and people don't that don't have a vice like drinking or something, make me nervous. Well, no, someone who's chill, someone who can have a drink with you, someone who can who can shoot the shit with you to make me feel comfortable.
SPEAKER_05Yes, but no, like we're in the customer business, me and Jeff.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, slang and cool.
SPEAKER_05And we're cool with people. I know you're the same way. I don't even have to ask. I know you're the same way, but as soon as they drop an F bomb or an S bomb, it's shit. You're like, yeah, fucking comedy, it's shit, man. I don't know what's going on with this website. Right. You know, right. But we're cool until you read someone. And but you, you just stay cool all the time.
SPEAKER_04I usually am more, more just yeah, just I won't I even if they're dropping them up.
SPEAKER_05And that's a not like sure. I'm not they're not gonna say, I don't know what the fuck happened to that. You're not just gonna be like, fucking hey, bro. Yeah. Let's go fuck some hoes. You know, you wouldn't just go crazy.
SPEAKER_08But I don't say that either. Can we be like perfectly honest?
SPEAKER_05No, that's what I'm saying. But once you realize once you realize someone is like that, you can be like, yeah, it I it's it's kind of all fucked up right now.
SPEAKER_08You know, you can do that without I have I have I have an as an opinion of how Abe deals with his customers, and I could be totally wrong. But I call it the boyfriend voice.
SPEAKER_05Oh, for sure.
SPEAKER_08Totally.
SPEAKER_04No, Jenny calls it my white customer service voice. Yes, yes, yes.
SPEAKER_08It's the same voice, but it's like it gets a little bit more high-pitched. I'm like, hey, how are you?
SPEAKER_05As a man that seems right, but sometimes you need to be a little loose to let those customers know. But okay, but don't yeah, I mean, like, don't go off.
SPEAKER_08I will I will say this. Sometimes it's better just to be that guy all the time rather than to be like me, like, I fucking hate it, dude. I some some customers won't go with you because they can't get a read on you. However, if you're that way across the board all the time, then that's just how you are.
SPEAKER_04Right. Right.
SPEAKER_08So no, if you drop it every now and again and you come back, like, hey, how's it? Oh, when when they think they got you on something and you get the boyfriend voice, you're like, oh no, well, but I was gonna hate when people come.
SPEAKER_05I I hire a lot of people, you know, for different things landscaping or fixing this or building my thing, whatever.
SPEAKER_04Fixing your door that don't get fixed yet.
SPEAKER_05I gotta hire you. I can fucking hire you because I thought we were gonna hang out, play games and stuff.
SPEAKER_08Oh my god, I put pants on. Oh, we were gonna go. We'll get out of that.
SPEAKER_05We'll give it a dead. But no.
SPEAKER_01There's there's an underlying issue.
SPEAKER_05No, but I get No, but when I t have someone come over and I'm fucking cool out here, just hanging, I'm not watching you, I'm just doing my thing. Have a smoke, fucking drink, whatever, and I'm like, yeah, I don't know if I could do this right correctly, and I'm like, fuck it, dude. Make it look good. And they still don't respond with oh, you're cool. And that whole what'd you call it? What kind of voice did you call that? Boyfriend, boyfriend voice. The whole boyfriend voice. I hate it, dude. I'm like, fucking be a human, dude. Like, I'm a human. I'm talking to you. I know damn well you say shit, and but yet they're they're professional.
SPEAKER_08I I've dropped it, I've dropped the S bomb on certain people, and they're fucking like devout Mormons and shit, and they just don't. Shit is okay. I feel shit is okay.
SPEAKER_05F is more too much. Whoa, whoa. My favorite was when you know when But when I'm like, hey, the last fucking cunt that came over, you know, then they're like, oh. Oh, the C bomb. Yeah.
SPEAKER_08I like how fuck's better than cunt. Oh no, no, it's not.
SPEAKER_05Cunt is like no, it's not.
SPEAKER_08Cunt is hugely wrong. That's what I said. Here. But if you say fuck, it's okay.
SPEAKER_04But if you say cunt, my favorite was when Jeff wasn't the customer, but the service guy was here, and he was like, this guy in the back here, you know, fucking asshole. And I was like, geez, dude, he's not even this isn't even your house. You're being rude to the guy. But he turned around and he was like, Exactly.
SPEAKER_08You know, dude, when you're in the when you're in the trades long enough, dude, like that guy knows that he knows that you're messing around. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And also trades are different. Like, I did cabinets for fucking 12 years. So I you can read people and know, uh, no, this let's keep it cool.
SPEAKER_08Here comes the fucking plumber. You know, what are you gonna do? Braze some shit together? Proud of you.
SPEAKER_05That's what I always read people. I mean, that's the whole thing. And that's not just with any trade, that's with keep or any any customer service whatsoever. I'm out there at a baseball field going, that's fucking umpire, you know.
SPEAKER_04And what about what about with like a boss or coworkers? Have you ever done like an office deal or like uh like not working with customers directly, but like in an office, and you guys you start the first few weeks, like you said, with boyfriend voice, like, hey, how's it going? Good morning, and then eventually you come in, you're like, what's up, fuck face?
SPEAKER_05And you're like I don't um I don't go into boyfriend voice ever because that's just not me. Um Jeff definitely doesn't. Like he just comes straight up with the Oh dude, I've heard him talk to his painters, buddy.
SPEAKER_04He's like, Hey, wait, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_05Dude's like, hey man, I'm Swahili. What are you talking Spanish to me?
SPEAKER_08We have a we have a we have a new boss.
SPEAKER_05Uh uh Jeff's not like that. I'm cool. You know who's not? Is Max.
SPEAKER_08Ah, he's a fucking nightmare.
SPEAKER_05He's a F-bombing ropper, man. Like, I'm like, I don't we don't know these guys yet. Let's like be cool. He's like, oh, who's the fuck? Fuck. And I'm like, dude, like, whoa. Like, well, like let him get out of here and think we're all Mormon, as you say, and leave us alone. Right. Shut the fuck up, man. Right.
SPEAKER_04You know, I'm just like, I don't won't sit there, yes, sir, or nothing, but well, a lot of things too, like I tell my guys, like, even at jobs where like the customers aren't there, I always tell them, like, watch your mouth, bro. Everybody's everybody's got cameras now and they're like in their house everywhere that you cannot Tyrone was the worst.
SPEAKER_08So I I was thinking of him.
SPEAKER_05Shout out Tyrone yesterday. Hey Tyrone!
SPEAKER_08Uh so I would tell him flat out, like, because I would as I bid the house or or like when I was a after I closed my business down and I went to go work for another cup company, I took him with me. Yeah, I'm like, hey, camera, camera, camera, camera. I would tell him all the time. He'd be like, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it. I'm like, bro, dude.
SPEAKER_05So here's you telling him, hey, dude, we gotta be cool here, so shut the fuck up.
SPEAKER_08But he would be talking shit. I don't know why we're doing this stupid shit.
SPEAKER_05And I'm like, hey, buddy, you see the fucking neck on that bitch? Yeah. Why are they out here talking to me? It's like Yeah, you can cuss a little, but don't start talking shit.
SPEAKER_08I mean, everybody expects a fucking painter.
SPEAKER_05Do you see her fucking foot, dude?
SPEAKER_08Yeah. I can't believe we're doing this dumb bullshit again. Like, and I'm like, dude, like you ever seen the ring farts? The ring camera farts where somebody walks out and goes, I hope they don't, ah, goddamn it. Yeah, dude. Imagine, imagine those people watching their painters around the house for a week.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_08Like, and just every day.
SPEAKER_05Like this dude's just walking around fucking assholes, man.
SPEAKER_04That's all too. He goes, Man, I just he's like, I just dropped a meanest bomb in that toilet. I hope they'll come home soon. Give them a upper decker. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And that, you know, that's a that's a real subject. Like there's cameras everywhere.
SPEAKER_04Everywhere, bro. You're I always tell my guys, you're being watched. You're being watched. And it's not watch what you say.
SPEAKER_05Two witches. You go somewhere, I'm a I'm a huge farter in stores and stuff. If they would have to do it. My favorite thing to do. I tell Freya, and I'll look at her and she's like, I'll look around first, you know, like they're down at the end of the aisle. Shit my fucking pants, dude. And Vinny just laughs.
SPEAKER_08And he's like, you see Karen over there staring at him.
SPEAKER_05He looks like Mitch from uh fucking Days Infused. He's always dude. Always touch his nose. Like, Dad. I have no shame.
SPEAKER_04You know, as far as that goes, but I like to fart in the aisle with Jen and then leave so that the person coming in thinks it's her. Oh dude. That's what I mean.
SPEAKER_08And then you you catch eyes with her, like, or with the with the other customer, like, and she's not even paying attention.
SPEAKER_07You're like, yeah.
SPEAKER_08Waffed in your nose and pointing at Jen, and she's like looking at the ingredients.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, yeah.
unknownI think that bitch farted.
SPEAKER_05I've done that to Wendy? Yeah. Babe. Come on. You know, and she's like, dude.
SPEAKER_08Dude, last week we had those riders with us. Yeah. You know, at the steam plant. And I ripped one with Charles in there. I was like, sorry, dude. And we're sitting at one, sitting at one of our stops, and he's like, dude, we gotta get going. Two basically we had the windows down, but I was just getting the airflow.
SPEAKER_05I love farting, dude.
SPEAKER_04Like, dude, I was I was with Jen at a job and she was working in one section of the house and she called me, Hey, can you come look at this? So I came over there. I'm looking at my honor, rip ass. And she's like, Great, you're gonna just leave me here with it. And you couldn't have farted before you came over here to talk to me about this section of the job. I'm like, no, no. Sharing is carrying, babe. I'd love to be here with you.
SPEAKER_05My problem with my farts lately is they're loud. And no smell. No smell. Uh I love a good smell.
SPEAKER_08It's always it's always this one. Oh, those are the where you're like, and it's hot, and you're like, ooh. But the loud ones never stink. That ones are just like but they're fun. They're audible, and you get a good reaction out of them.
SPEAKER_05I got this whole thing. I like I'll sit out back and have the door open. Fucking puffing on my stogie. You want to share with the house? And well, no. I I'm half out, you know, whatever. But I put my foot up on the stool. I got this whole fucking pirate stance, you know. Vinny just came home today and I just dropped one like it's hot, dude. It was all like it was a drop. You tell.
SPEAKER_04It hurt your butt cheeks either.
SPEAKER_05No, my back went out, you know, it was like a and Vinny goes, how do you even do those? I'm like, dude, practice. 50 years of practice. I was gonna say, I mean, I got get older, they'll start coming out that way. But I also have the pirate stance going, so I also You Captain Morgan did it? I I captained it up and just dropped it. And he's always Tim Tebow. The Tim Tebow. He loves it. It's so funny. And farts are funny. Yeah. Except chicks. Yeah, yeah. I'm just not into I don't think chick farts are funny. I do.
SPEAKER_08I think it's hilarious. I think it's funny if it's. When I hear Naomi down the hallway, and I'm like, is that a fart?
SPEAKER_05Yeah. No, like I'm married 31 years. When you don't fart, still 31 years. And I'm out here just dropping fucking bombs.
SPEAKER_08She still won't fart? So she's just holding them in and suffering. Yeah, and I'm like, you just want your wife to suffer. No, I don't.
SPEAKER_05I don't like it. I've never expressed it.
SPEAKER_08Hey, it's just like she's never given she's never fucking in the in the sheets in the sure.
SPEAKER_05I mean, come on. 31 years old. Stinker in there. I never smelled it, but I've heard them, and it's not big deal.
SPEAKER_04You know, it's I would say that's how I know Jen's awake. In the mornings, like I'll be in the living room. Yeah, I'll be in the living room drinking my coffee, whatever in the morning.
SPEAKER_05I think you're just silly. Fuck it. More comfortable. Wendy just doesn't.
SPEAKER_08The morn the morning. She's the lady. The morning farts.
SPEAKER_04She's the lead.
SPEAKER_08The morning farts are the best farts because they're the loudest ones.
SPEAKER_04No, no, that's that's how I know she's the wake. Because I'm telling you, I'll be in the other two. I'll be in the other room and I hear rrrr. And I'm like, okay, she's up.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, she's just laying in bed ripping out.
SPEAKER_04But but that's so you know she's not at a night full of building them up.
SPEAKER_05That's the thing, it's like I'd never die full of fart.
SPEAKER_08Like you don't wake up, you don't wake up in the morning and just fucking cut ass because me?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, dude. I'll spread my ass cheeks, dude.
SPEAKER_08Wait, Wendy doesn't let them out in the morning?
SPEAKER_05No.
SPEAKER_08I feel I feel like you're you're covering for Wendy's farts. And we're not covering for our lady's farts. No, she does not farts. You know what that is? That's a not honest relationship. On her part. I mean, everybody lies to their spouse. She just lies about this one thing.
SPEAKER_05I would probably chuckle and give her some shit when he's a liar. You know, but I know through the day when I'm not here, she probably just lets them go, but she's on a zoom meeting.
SPEAKER_04She doesn't do it.
SPEAKER_05She doesn't do it around me. And I have no problem with her not doing it. Like, I don't really need there's there's a I would laugh.
SPEAKER_08There's a good scene on in Scrubs. The f like the first seat because there's a new season out there. It's funny dude. New seasons.
SPEAKER_04We're rewatching because of that. So I'm going through again before I start the new season. Do we need to rewatch? I just wanted to recap on the the premises because I know they're going to come back up again.
SPEAKER_08I missed it all. You don't need to. I missed it. You can catch up. The backstory kind of comes to you-ish. I think it might be better. It'd be better to watch it. But there's remember Sunny Day, the little Indian chick.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
SPEAKER_08So they made her go talk to a customer or a patient. I say customer because I'm fucking she's she just had surgery and she can't leave until she farts. Right. And she's like, I don't do that. I don't do that. So they made her stay in the with the with the patient until she farted. And then she finally farted, and they and then JD and Turko, what'd it smell like? And she goes, Sipper. She goes, she goes, 30 years of of holding and she's like, she runs out. So that's all I think of of Wendy is when she finally finally does let it go in front of you. You're gonna you're probably gonna your hair is gonna go full white and you're probably gonna die. Well now that's something we talked about.
SPEAKER_05I'm I'm 51. I never had a colostomy, and she or uh colonoscopy.
SPEAKER_08Colostomy is colonoscopy. Yeah, we never had that.
SPEAKER_05And she, you know, 48 now, so we're like, well, let's fucking book it together.
SPEAKER_08Are you gonna do a dual one where you guys look in each other's eyes and say hold heads?
SPEAKER_05I don't know if we can do that. Like, I don't know if we can.
SPEAKER_08Barely touching fingers.
SPEAKER_07And you're you're barely gonna reach for her and she's gonna be like, hold my finger, man!
SPEAKER_05I got a grape in my mouth. No, I don't know that we can do that, but we were we thought, we'll do this shit together and literally do this shit together and do joint colonoscopy.
SPEAKER_08I know but they will do joint what's I can't remember where they blow out your colon where you're gonna do it.
SPEAKER_05That's what we're getting at. So you can be in a recovery room together and you're not allowed to leave until you depart. And go go go on TikTok and watch those. They're fucking gnarly. Hilarious, dude. And hilarious. I would love it. I'm just but she's like, I can't sit there and just fucking go crazy.
SPEAKER_08I've seen the ones where like they're just blowing ass the entire time. And the guy's just giggling. And then he starts giggling here. It's that fucking fat dude that's with the little mustache.
SPEAKER_05And he starts laughing to hear me ass going, speaking of scrubs, scrubs.
SPEAKER_04Remember the episode where the husband wouldn't talk dirty in front of the wife? He asked her to leave. Yeah, that's that's Derek and Wendy. Hold on to all the dirty talk. He's like, honey. He asked her to leave the rubber. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the that's the one.
SPEAKER_08The new scrubs is is is it's good.
SPEAKER_04Is it same prem like same style of because I like the Lawrence. Bill Lawrence does a ton of fun stuff.
SPEAKER_08He did like Clippertown and all that shit. But yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05So it's already out.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, it's on like it's so if you go to Hulu, you probably got five episodes you could watch.
SPEAKER_05Oh, wow. Okay.
SPEAKER_08It's good. Turk, Turk's still there. JD comes back. As the chief of medicine. Oh no shit. Yeah. Perry Perry's still in the chief. Cox is in the first episode, and he actually is the one that wants him to come back. Because he's actually a chief of medicine. He comes back as as Perry's position, I would say that. Doing doing rounds with everybody and all that.
SPEAKER_05Do you know what year was the last episode of Scrap? How long has it been?
SPEAKER_042009?
SPEAKER_08Yeah, damn.
SPEAKER_05Oh wow. So that's a good run.
SPEAKER_08Because they're all old now. Um go ahead. JD and and um what's her face are divorced. So you can make some kind of story to make sure.
SPEAKER_04So yeah, first episode was 2001 and it was nine seasons. Which that ninth season? I never watched the whole school.
SPEAKER_08There was a no, there was a writer's strike, so there's that. And then they had the Scrubs, the new class. Yeah. I still liked it. I thought it was funny.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, but yeah, 2000. So 2008, 2009 is when it was wrapped up? I think it's 2010. 2001. Because of the writer's strike, too.
SPEAKER_05What other shows take that long a break? Roseanne did, you know, and then they kicked her out. She came on TikTok yesterday. She got kicked out doing something. She got kicked off a Roseanne.
SPEAKER_04Because she called the uh politician lady a gorilla and she was black. That's right. Yeah, but she was just trying to be insulting, not racist.
SPEAKER_05I was fucking around on TikTok last night, and it's my channel. On the talk. You're on the talk. And she goes, I think there's gonna be a new Roseanne. And we'll see what happened. So she's hinting a new season and she's coming back.
SPEAKER_04Well again, that show was.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, but that was during the time where everybody cancelled everybody.
SPEAKER_04But I thought the Roseanne ended up.
SPEAKER_05I thought Roseanne ended where she said that Dan had died, and yet they Well, that was the original Roseanne, and it came back with Roseanne again. Like four years ago. Roseanne again.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, Roseanne Danna, yeah.
SPEAKER_05Rosanna, Dan and Dana. Yeah. And then she got booted off her own show, which is weird.
SPEAKER_08No, the original Roseanne, Dan died. Yeah. Yeah, because she says Dan didn't.
SPEAKER_05And then they won a lottery or some shit.
SPEAKER_08Right. But then so then it was all it was like uh fabricated in her head. Yeah, it was all a dream.
SPEAKER_04So it was like the end of fucking what was that medical show that uh a Saint Elsewhere or Saint Saint Elmo's Saints Saint something? Saying something, yeah.
SPEAKER_08The end of the last episode, it was just in somebody's brain.
SPEAKER_04An autistic kid's head.
SPEAKER_08Because Dan wasn't in the new one.
SPEAKER_05We started watching it.
SPEAKER_04No, it was like No, the Connors, he's in it. It's called the Connors. They changed it after Roseanne to the Connors.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, he is. No, he's not. What are you fucking talking about? He was actually in the new Roseanne.
SPEAKER_04He's in the new Roseanne and then he's in the Connors.
SPEAKER_08Like the the the yeah, it's him and him and Jackie are the ones holding the fucking whole whole fort down.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Maybe I only watched a couple episodes. He wasn't in the first two, so I don't know. But there's I didn't get into it because it was such a long break. That's what I was getting at. I didn't want to. If it I didn't want to if it goes too long, do you just say, eh, fuck it? I'd rather just leave it like if I remember.
SPEAKER_08So Dan never died. Fucking what's her face? Was was uh the sister in Lesbo uh no Lesbox?
SPEAKER_00What the fuck?
SPEAKER_08Uh you had Darlene and what was the other sister? Jackie. Oh no, Becky. Becky.
SPEAKER_04Which was played by the Scrub chick. That's what I'm talking about. Played by the Scrubs chick.
SPEAKER_08But then during Roseanne, when when the original when the original um I just forgot her name again. Becky. Becky came back. Remember uh DJ was like You seem different. What the hell is going on? You seem different. You look different or something. Yeah. That kid played Little League in Cyprus where I where I played Little League. Oh, DJ? Yeah. Everybody followed him around. He sucked. Yeah, well, celebrity.
SPEAKER_04That's what happens when you're a child actor, bro. You can't do sports.
SPEAKER_05You know, time is. Now, honestly, you you really can't.
SPEAKER_04I I wrestled.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_04But it was just rolling around with guys, so that was that came naturally.
SPEAKER_05Oh, I get such a deep admiration for guys who roll on the ground with other guys. Yeah, yeah. But you don't have time to do sports. No. When you're learning lines and you're auditioning 24-7.
SPEAKER_04You gotta go right after school to go audition.
SPEAKER_05What actors have ever been around? Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
SPEAKER_08Stop for a second. And your PE teacher is George Cleany. George Cleany. Yeah. How do you go? All right.
SPEAKER_04So you're not going to learn sports ball from George Cleany. You're going to learn to be charming while have boyfriend voice for customer service. Right.
SPEAKER_08And then while you turned you fucking gay. And you're No, he didn't. No, no, wait. And then your school nurse, because you're sick, you take a nap on some Hayek's lap. Yeah. So you know So you realize that this shit doesn't fucking exist in the real world. Yeah. Dr.
SPEAKER_05Quinger fucking counts for the medicine woman.
SPEAKER_08Bury your face in her bosom.
SPEAKER_05But if you're an actor, you're not.
SPEAKER_08How many actors got into sports?
SPEAKER_05Well, sports people get into acting.
SPEAKER_08Tom Selleck. What did he do? He fucked uh college dinger off a fucking probe fucking ball player and just kind of blinked.
SPEAKER_05But I think he played uh he played college ball.
SPEAKER_08Kevin Costner can ball.
SPEAKER_05Well, yeah, cos I thought he played golf like in Tin Cup. But but he's a baseball player. This is what I was saying. He is a golfer too. But this is what I'm saying. There they were sports guys that turn not a lot of actors just yeah, I'm gonna go uh uh golf. A lot of sports people to acting.
SPEAKER_08Shane Gillis was was uh played uh college ball for Notre Dame.
SPEAKER_05Really?
SPEAKER_08Yep. Did he actually I thought he was just a Notre Dame fan?
SPEAKER_05Football?
SPEAKER_08No, football. Yeah. Really? I think he was he was either tight end or offensive lineman. I can't remember. But uh he actually went to uh West Point.
SPEAKER_04Who were actors at?
SPEAKER_08And then quit after his first week.
SPEAKER_05Well, dude, if you're funny and you got a gig going.
SPEAKER_08Then he went to Notre Dame and actually played college ball.
SPEAKER_05Really? I never knew that.
SPEAKER_08Freshman year, I think. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05I've been watching you know your algorithms of your fucking TikToks or your reels that you watch, whatever. It's all Latin girl fat asses.
SPEAKER_04Terry Cruz. Terry Cruz. Well, actually, nobody, but he was football first. That's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_08The rock played fucking uh wrestling. No, he was he was uh the you. University of Miami. He played behind Warren's.
SPEAKER_05Well he was yeah, he was football, but then he became a wrestler.
SPEAKER_08That was how he and then became but that's still fucking ball.
SPEAKER_05But then he didn't go back to that's what I'm saying. Who starts his.
SPEAKER_07You think Prince can't ball? Challenge him. Get your people up there.
SPEAKER_05It's funny. It's funny you say that because.
SPEAKER_08Okay, Prince, professional ping pong player.
SPEAKER_05These goofy ass cars that I'm buying. I found this new guy. So I'm gonna pull this shit up, dude. This is fucking funny. This guy he's got me fine. So I I started going through his. He's like, I gotta go through my shop and look. Dude, like Jackie Moons and all this shit. He's got a fucking prints. And it looks like a basketball card. His team is the blouses. Dude, I I'm buying it. So I'm looking, I'm talking to Max today, and I'm like, hey, check all the fucking awesome. All his casino and shit game. Houses game. I got I got happy Gilmore with his afro when he played. Dude, I I I gotta show you this shit. You'll probably get on it and be like, I'll buy a few of those because they're fun. No, I I won't.
SPEAKER_08I wouldn't why okay. You don't like that? I appreciate this. What am I gonna do with this? I'm gonna hang it up. Yeah. But that's it. Hang it up.
SPEAKER_04I I don't I just I don't have the urge that you go to go to East LA. They were doing blood in, blood out um signings and stuff. Take it there and just have everybody sign it. Damien the back.
SPEAKER_08Damian Chapa, I think that's all he does now is that he just fucking goes around the barrios and fucking LA, yeah, you know. Shoot the shit with people.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah. And that's all he does to make money. Well he was in Street Fighter 2, wasn't he? Yeah, he was Guile. You no, he was uh uh Ken.
SPEAKER_08Ken. He was Ken. Street Fighter Guile. Guile is Street Fighter, he was Ken.
SPEAKER_05So this these are through this guy's show, these are different cards that looking at we just went through that. Hucklebear. Hucklebear.
SPEAKER_04Hucklebear, Uncle Bear. I'll be your uh I'm your Huckleberry.
SPEAKER_05But he's got such goofy shit, and I'm like, I gotta pick up some.
SPEAKER_04Is that the natural right there?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, Roy Hobbs. You start looking through him, you're like, oh man, oh, I need a forest gump.
SPEAKER_08No, you don't. Nobody Okay.
SPEAKER_05That one. Chip Douglas. Dude, come on.
SPEAKER_08I'm on Stevensteen.
SPEAKER_05Dude, that's fucking awesome, man.
SPEAKER_08I agree. It's cool art. And it's cool. Okay, I don't want to buy it.
SPEAKER_05Chubbs.
SPEAKER_08Chubbs. It's all in the hips.
SPEAKER_05I got a bunch bookmarked, and like I need that card. There's some I do just need.
SPEAKER_08We were all right. Last episode, you weren't here. We were talking about how Derek comes at me with just like, dude, look at this, look at this, look at this, look at this, look at this. And I'm trying to do other shit. I'm like, yeah, yeah, cool, yeah, yeah, yeah, cool, yeah, yeah, yeah, cool. And then I was like, bro, I get that you're super stoked about it. Can I just finish this thing real quick? And I'll be and I'll you'll get my photos. Yeah. But he's just like, no, no, but check out this, check out that.
SPEAKER_05It wasn't all like that either, dude. And it's fun for the but that's not how it was. I like how expensive. I said one fucking thing, and then he's like, hey man, I got no, it's not, but it's and he goes, Hey, no, I gotta finish this, and I fucking left it alone. It's not like I sit there and go, what else should I show you? Bro, I I have my Derek that's an absolute lie because I don't even want to talk to you barely. And then I try to fucking get excited and show him something. He goes, I got no problem. I fucking leave him alone. I didn't sit there and go boom, boom, boom, boom.
SPEAKER_04Just so you know, I have my Derek Shrine at home. It's it's no, I kid you not. It's my guitar amp that I practice on, it's my little practice amp. And it's got my painting, it's got my Miguel Myers card, it's got my Dodgers pin. Dude, I kid you not, it's my little appreciate.
SPEAKER_05I dude, I fucking just see things and I think it's funny. I get excited with you with you, bro. I get excited with you. I'm excited. I'm not being a bitch at all about it, but I'm being excited, dude. Like, I won't fucking leave you alone. Like, honestly. I don't think I did that. I know we were going for the shtick part, but I didn't sit there and badger you about it. I left you alone, dude. I did. I did it. Are you are you getting mad? But no, are you mad? I'm not mad. I'm just saying I didn't sit there and go, oh, look at this, look at this. I'm gonna do that now. That's another uh now you ain't got no fucking work going on. Suck it, that's another day's confused moment. I'm not gonna bug on you. I'm not saying you bug on me, but you you're like it like I'm gonna pain in the ass. Look at all these. I'm like, fuck you. I'm trying to buy you free shit. Fucking say thanks. Which I I did. I said it's fucking awesome. Maybe buy me something.
SPEAKER_08Okay. But I'm not gonna go looking at the cards for you.
SPEAKER_05No.
SPEAKER_08Hey, I got you got you limited edition uh Steve Wynwood.
SPEAKER_05Oh, that'd be fucking awesome, dude. Look, right here, dude. I just picked this one up. Oh my god. Fucking Tom Petty.
SPEAKER_04Does Prescott do a does Prescott do a card convention?
SPEAKER_05Sometimes Livy.
SPEAKER_08Or Phoenix or there's a there is a card.
SPEAKER_05I got two Livy Dunn's. Those are sweet.
SPEAKER_08What's a Livy Dunn? And it's they say kaboom. Yeah. Oh, she's hot. Yeah, that's a card.
SPEAKER_05He's a pitcher for the Pirates. Best pitcher rookie of the city.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, that's a cartoon drawing on her. She's still hot.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I know. Okay. Are they sisters? I just buy weird shit.
SPEAKER_08Can you get them to do weird shit to each other?
SPEAKER_05I've heard weird shit. I'm like weird shit, man. And I'd like to share my weird shit with you guys. Well, I appreciate your weird shit. Okay, I remember.
SPEAKER_08I are I automatically hate their parents. For having hot children? No, they have hot children, but they f their fucking names. Livy Dunn, L-I-V-V, Y. Dunn.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I've never heard the name.
SPEAKER_08And then Jules. J-U-L-Z. Oh, added.
SPEAKER_04How does your daughter spell her name? Farah? Fera?
SPEAKER_08Freya. Freya? Freya. F-R-E-Y-A.
SPEAKER_04Okay, well.
SPEAKER_08It was initially with a J. That's pretty white, but you know. It's not white. That's not that's that's made up white. That's fucking Jonathan. What does Freya mean? It's the goddess of love and war. Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_05Freya's an old school name.
SPEAKER_08It's F-R-E-Y-J-A, but the J in fucking Scandinavian is.
SPEAKER_05Oh, is that what it is?
SPEAKER_08Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Is that why?
SPEAKER_08Yeah.
SPEAKER_04So you you were old school, you did it first?
SPEAKER_08Yeah. I didn't even watch Vikings. I haven't either, but you know. I should have you know what I should have named her? Mariposa.
SPEAKER_04That would have been cool.
SPEAKER_08Butterfly. Call her Mari. Mari. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And that's the thing. When you think of names, what's the nickname? What do you call Derek? Derek. Dirt. Where did Vincent come from? I mean, Jeff, you got Jay. Hey, I'm not sure. Where did Vincent come from?
SPEAKER_08We call you D-Train. Why Vincent?
SPEAKER_05Honestly, because I'm a huge Dodger fan and I wanted Vince Gully. So I wanted Vin. So you and Vince Gully. But then I came up with this whole scheme of like, oh dude, Vince Vaughn, he's fucking rad. Vince Neal. We love Vince Neal from Holly Crew.
SPEAKER_04What's his middle name?
SPEAKER_05Benjamin.
SPEAKER_04That's a good one.
SPEAKER_08That was gonna be his original first name.
SPEAKER_05Which is gonna be Ben. My grandpa, Wendy's grandpa, um Wendy's dad. It's Ben. Okay. So Benjamin Fit Cool and VBT. Vincent Benjamin Torina. I set you up, dude, like from a baby. Vinny, if you're listening, I set you up with a badass name.
SPEAKER_08And then we came up with a cool fucking slogan. You down with VBT?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, you know me. Yeah, but he goes, Yeah, you know me.
SPEAKER_08But it's it's taken how many years?
SPEAKER_05Well, because I got on his case one night and I'm like, dude, you better fucking pump it out.
SPEAKER_08I want him to go, yeah, you know me. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And I'd be like, fuck yeah.
SPEAKER_08I can't get the guy to I walk in. I'd walk in when he's like six, you down with VBT? Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05Dude, he just got this mundane fucking personality that I can't even wrap my head around. And I talk to him all the time. It's true that he's hanging too. They're all fucking cool and laid back.
SPEAKER_04Because I gotta curl my hair. Go hang out.
SPEAKER_05No, he hangs out with all Mexicans. He's oh really? All his friends are Mexicans.
SPEAKER_04I go teach him some Spanish or some peachy.
SPEAKER_08Little pochos. The wet chickens. The wet seconds the ponchos.
SPEAKER_05But that's what he gravitates towards and he likes, and that's his buddies. But all the same like called no sabos.
SPEAKER_04All his no sabo friends.
SPEAKER_05They're just like all laid back and it's making him all you know you know Speedy Gonzales?
SPEAKER_08It's his cousin. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Slopop Rodriguez. Slopok Lopez. No, Slopak Rodriguez. I thought it was Lopez, no. No, Rodriguez.
SPEAKER_03You're killing me. It's my cousin. Speedy. Speedy Gonzalez.
SPEAKER_05Fucking Slowpoke Rodriguez.
SPEAKER_08I like how like how the one was all fast, and then the rest of them were fucking lazy Mexicans. Do you think there's any racism in the cartoons back then?
SPEAKER_04Oh dude. That's why that's why South Park, my favorite is when they go to the Museum of Tolerance in South Park and they're going through all the stereotypes, all the statues, and everything. And then Randy goes, Oh, look at here's the lazy Mexican, and it's an actual janitor. And he goes, Oh, what happened? I was just taking a nap. I'm just leaving.
SPEAKER_05That's a fucking great point, bringing up the racism in old cartoons. Oh, my favorite. 100%.
SPEAKER_08Like every fucking cartoon. That's my favorite. Dude, Tom and Jerry. But it's funny. Every time Mammy would swat at Tom with the fucking broom, you only saw her from the fucking legs down. Yeah, yeah. It was always a black lady with her stockings rolled down to her ankle and wearing wearing slippers. Wearing slippers.
SPEAKER_05Long dress with the stockings.
SPEAKER_03Get out of here now, Thomas.
SPEAKER_07Sounded like a fucking old black lady, dude. Mammy. It was mammy as fuck, dude.
SPEAKER_05Oh, and and Disney. I mean, we could do a whole episode on Fantasia. I saw that as a movie.
SPEAKER_04The little Centaur Centaur?
SPEAKER_05No, the little That was a huge one. It's banned. You can't even find it anymore.
SPEAKER_08Or uh the Bugs Bunny when he was a Nazi. Oh yeah. Donald Duck.
SPEAKER_05Dude. It's outrageous. And you can go into all the way up to now movies with Disney.
SPEAKER_08I don't care. I think it's fucking great. It's should be. Should have happened. We had a great child in this. We did.
SPEAKER_07We had a great child in the new night.
SPEAKER_05We had a great run. We're going to take five. We'll be right back. Humans ratio.
SPEAKER_01Juicy fruit. Taste it, taste it, taste it's gonna be a fruit. Juicy fruit.
SPEAKER_05Welcome back to the show. Dude, those nostalgic bullshits. So I see 'em on TikTok or whatever, and I'll fuck, dude, that's fucking awesome. I like that. Dude, like you go through the next ones, whatever, and then all of a sudden you got it's okay, it's a little longer. The algorithms of these things are so fast now. Yeah, if you notice, like in the last few months, it used to be like, oh, I mentioned this, whatever.
SPEAKER_04Instantly, you miss.
SPEAKER_05Fucking instant now, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Instantly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so you gotta be careful what you're talking. Now it talking to your phone is almost like talking to your child or something. You know, you gotta spell it out.
SPEAKER_08We need to get a new party or your dog. S N A C K. And you know what? Sanson learn S N A C K. Dude, dogs are smart. They learn they gotta I just want to go back to the juicy fruit.
SPEAKER_05Oh, Loki boys are intelligent as shit. They learn like you can say, do you want to? And that's all you gotta say, and they're just like fucking W-A-L-K. Yeah, you're like they're like toddlers. They learn, but what about juicy fruit, bro?
SPEAKER_08You pull it out, the taste of juicy fruit is gonna pop when you pop it in your mouth. Can we can we go to the fact that that's a dude getting a blowy? Nobody heard that? Hello?
SPEAKER_05Sing it again, sing it. Juicy fruit is gonna move you. It's gonna taste the moves right through. Yeah, yeah, but but it's it's pull it out.
SPEAKER_08Something take a sniff. Pull it out. The taste of juicy fruit is gonna pop when you put it in your mouth or something to that effect. That's a dude getting a blowy. That was on fucking the blow part.
SPEAKER_05Okay.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, it's it's your speed shine up. Grab a stick of juicy fruit. The taste is gonna move. Take a snip. The taste is gonna move your bingo.
SPEAKER_08It's a fucking piece of gum, bro. Blasting off in her mouth. Okay. That's exactly what that's on the slopes. Okay. Yeah, for some reason she's a snowbuddy. Now that is 100%. He was he was one of those uh the the ski guides, you know. He came and rescued her. Look at the smile on the guy. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_04And she needed the gum for afterwards. Yeah.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, here, babe. Get that get that bad taste. Get that taste out of your mouth.
SPEAKER_05That's why it's gonna move her. It totally makes sense because it's gum. You pop it in your mouth, but a hundred percent. Jeff's right, dude. I mean, that's all they did. Yeah. Now, and one big thing that you hate now is like you won't watch fucking tubi or fucking even priming or whatever. Because did you say priming? Prime or anything is what I'm I thought you were going like Primey, Primey.
SPEAKER_07Prime. That's great. They should do that.
SPEAKER_05Dude, would that be copyrighted? Like probably probably how about if you do it backwards, like how about if you do it backwards, like Primey.
SPEAKER_00Hulu improved when you do the backwards.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, we're doing it again next week. I don't want to. Anyway, but you used to fuck. Yeah, you're doing it. You loved it. What are you talking about?
SPEAKER_08What I remember about those is like, dude, that was totally it. And then we listened back to it on the episode. It's like, that didn't sound anything remotely close to it. We used to think that we had it.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_08No.
SPEAKER_05You thought you were on point. They were good.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, but then you go back and listen to it.
SPEAKER_04We're like, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_05That wasn't any that wasn't close. I'm getting before you get me off track. No commercials. No, you fucking won't watch that shit because oh, I don't want no commercial. Commercials and stuff. But back then we didn't really want commercials either.
SPEAKER_04It's like the Quiznos commercial.
SPEAKER_05That one.
SPEAKER_08The look on your face was better than anything you just did right there. But you'll get a little bit more.
SPEAKER_05They're fun now watching these old commercials. You know, like wow, so nostalgic. I remember recall. Okay, I got a commercial that's been in my head for three months now. And I I said it to Wendy and she Hey Mikey, he likes it? No, no, no. Come on.
SPEAKER_06Don't like this.
SPEAKER_05It is a like a law firm or something. Or a maybe. No, no, not me. I I'm thinking it's a furniture. You know the story? Right? But here's how the commercial sounds in my head. It's not that long ago either. Tell me if you can help me with this one, right?
SPEAKER_00London Broil. Yeah, the best.
SPEAKER_05London broil? It was like London Broil or London Broil.
SPEAKER_00London Broil. Yeah, the best.
SPEAKER_05Nothing? No back. Wendy goes, oh, I remember that. It was like a some kind of furniture store or something. So I started looking up London Broil. Dude, I got some killer fucking recipes though. Man, we're gonna do it at London Broil. I mean, obviously it's not London Broil, but it is Gosi Cow, Gosi Cow, go cow. Pussy County, yeah.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, yeah. He knows that because he's from Southern California.
SPEAKER_04And his dog's spot. Or or or uh uh Doritos Auto Square, Saa Street, Sah Street.
SPEAKER_05And how many phone numbers? Sorritos auto square street, Sa Street. How many phone numbers do you really know? All the numbers I know are for fucking commercials.
SPEAKER_08I'm gonna get I'm gonna get one in your brain right now. One, eight, seven, seven cars for kids. Oh yeah. Okay.
SPEAKER_04I got one you might know is dos vinti, dos vinte, dos vinti dos.
SPEAKER_08Sunday, sundae, sunday. Sabado, sabado, sabido. Introduciendo un grave. Introduciendo un gravedigger.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, yeah. I remember that bit. What? Five two three hundred. Empire. Okay, we all know. So what the fuck? Who are you gonna call if you're in a pinch, man? Like, I know Empire's number. You're in jail.
SPEAKER_04You're in jail. They're like, who you gonna call? I'm like, well shit, maybe Empire they'll come give me a.
SPEAKER_05It's the only number I know because I don't know anybody's numbers anymore.
SPEAKER_08I just remember the end of the fucking got me. Two five more million. All that dude is fuck up, dude.
SPEAKER_04Okay, what about what about is 1-800 collect still a thing? 1-800 collect. Can you still use that? Is that try it? Call it.
SPEAKER_05Call it live.
SPEAKER_08Instead of calling collecting what's called 1-800 collect and then you call the operator and ask what time it is.
SPEAKER_05Remember that? 411.
SPEAKER_08No, you used to call the operator. Hey man. And they'd tell you the time.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, what is that phone number?
SPEAKER_08It's just zero.
SPEAKER_05No, it's just it's kinda it looks like an O.
SPEAKER_08Why you gotta call everybody by five bums, huh? Dude, you're retarded right now. Just dial zero. And see if it can go.
SPEAKER_05What other commercial numbers you remembered? Like there's so many, and now I'm fucking blanking here. It says 5551212. But the commercials now. Well, you going back We were talking about the commercials.
SPEAKER_08So you say I don't want to watch Comedy Fun.
SPEAKER_05Because I understand they don't do the fun commercials like they did in the 80s.
SPEAKER_08Well, is if you if you so if you watch the new Scrubs, I don't have Hulu Plus anymore. I have Hulu. So I have to watch it the day after. So I watch Scrubs and they have commercials.
SPEAKER_05So you're watching Sargento Cheese commercial.
SPEAKER_08The best part about watching Hulu now is when they go to a commercial, I can take a whiz, like you were saying. Listen. Listen, listen. But also it gives you a fucking timer. Yeah. I still hate it. It drives me fucking bad for you. No, I hate it. Okay. I'm just saying it's time for a whiz. I got it. But also it's like, oh, this one's a minute and 30. That is. So so going back to the original commercials, you didn't know how long the fucking commercial was going to be. So they were all 30 seconds. No, they weren't. No, they weren't.
SPEAKER_05Well, the average commercial is 30, unless you did talk, I've fallen and can't get up. Those were like a minute and a half.
SPEAKER_08Do I got time to go fucking zap a hot pocket right now? And you're all like brrrrr, like wait, wait, wait.
SPEAKER_05But all the shit that we've been telling you with Tubi and shit, their commercials always have a timer too. That's what I'm saying. Like fucking So you're getting better. No. You're not accepting it yet. Commercial. See. And now I go like watch the pottery.
SPEAKER_08That gross.
SPEAKER_05We just couldn't wait to get TiVo came out. We couldn't wait. Oh, dude, I could fucking 30 seconds, I'm skipping commercials, boom. Right. And pausing it. And now I'm going on YouTube.
SPEAKER_08I would pause it at the beginning and wait like five minutes. And then I'd press play. So you're and then you're always behind forward.
SPEAKER_04We would uh record the Simpsons and then that way we could go back and forward. We had like 3 VH uh tapes of just all Simpsons and we would just forward because we didn't know what to watch.
SPEAKER_08Do you remember the swap, the swap, the channel swap button on your remote? Yeah, we still have so so if you went from this channel to this channel, when it went on commercial, you could just swap to the other channel. I still do. I would always have a movie on. I don't have direct TV anymore. I'm fucking in a couple years. I'm in the new world, man.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, we're close. Fire stick. Close, but or Roku.
SPEAKER_04I was gonna say, how old are you, bro? Fire stickers is shit. Are you jailbroke it or something with Netflix?
SPEAKER_05Dude, my Commodore 64.
SPEAKER_04I just old docs. I pulled out laser discs the other day. Why do you have Roku? Because that's the coolest shit. No, bro. I have a TV with Netflix and Paramount and Peacock.
SPEAKER_08All my TVs are perfect. I don't need that. They're not smart TVs. All mine are smart TVs. Okay, well then guess what? When your smart TV breaks, guess what? You gotta buy a new when my fire when my fire stick shits a bed. Guess what? I pull out a fire stick, put it in a new one. 30 bucks.
SPEAKER_05Ooh, nope. Fucking new TV now costs like $300. The other day they're crap. The other day. And then you buy a new one for a couple hundred bucks. Fuck it, dude.
SPEAKER_04Like the other day we went over to watch Tommy Boy. Went through all the channels. Oh dude, no. Nobody had it. Then I finally find my DVD of it. I was like, cool, I have it. Fucking DVD wasn't set up. I had to fuck with all the HDMI courses. I know. It took me two hours before I finally sat down and started watching Tommy Boy, and halfway through it, I was on my phone.
SPEAKER_08So I have I have all the scrubs on DVD. Yeah, so Blu-ray. Yeah, yeah. And I'll still I'll still suffer through the Hulu. Just to watch because it makes you watch commercials.
SPEAKER_05And I'm just like, I can just put the DVD. Okay, so avoid it all. A couple things. Going back to commercial, you're getting more used to it. Now go check out Tubi again because you're gonna trip out on all the I've already watched T uh watched. I know at the hotel that one time, and you're like, oh I liked it then, but I've done it enough. Okay, so it's shit that's not available. You can watch it. It's fun, it's fun. It sucks. Okay.
SPEAKER_08You have to watch commercials in a movie. But it tells you. But right when the dude's like, don't go, even Prime does that. But then Prime does it. Prime's pissing me off too, unless you have Prime Plus.
SPEAKER_05Yes.
SPEAKER_08But I had Prime when it was Prime and you just watch shit. Now, if you don't pay for the extra fucking eight dollars or whatever the fuck a moment. Not to mention fucking annoying.
SPEAKER_05All the movies they put out, it's all through Prime. You think you can get is like purchase? I'm like, why do you even put it up there?
SPEAKER_08Just if you like but also if you click on a movie, it takes you to Tubi, it takes you to HBO Max or Paramount. Yeah. Anything Paramount. Anything that's connected with because they're all owned by the same people. So if you go to Prime and you're like, oh, I want to watch this movie, it goes you can watch this on Skeletor Max or whatever the fuck it is.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, but then they got a lot of weird ones. Like, I don't have a screw for a subscription for that shit, dude. Like who's got fucking we're gonna have to pop smoke on this? I have not them all, bro. I got them all. So the commercials you're getting more used to, that's good. It bothers me because they have to stand up and watch it. Well, fuck it. It gives me time to piss and it does.
SPEAKER_08Forced piss as opposed to pushing pots.
SPEAKER_05Now I just want to go back to this part is we fucking hate commercials. I couldn't wait for Tiva to come out so I could just go pop right now. And you're going back to commercials and watching fucking commercials from the 80s. Oh, you know, like that's what you're getting around to, I understand. That was where we were gonna be jingly. But think of that. Now I'm like, oh dude, I oh, remember this one? Fucking EL fudge commercials and bullshit, dude. I get in this rabbit hole of I just remember the chickens. My buddies, yeah, like kids.
SPEAKER_08Remember they had they had the chick one?
SPEAKER_05Now this is a discontinued snack, which would be a great subject too, but we're not getting into it now. The song. But now they're sancheros. Sancheros nice and crispy because they're made by the Kebler Keebleros. Nope. Dude, they were fucking great snacks. You fucking Mexicans don't know this shit.
SPEAKER_04No, bro. We had fucking Sancheros. We had De La Rosa uh fucking Marcy Pan. It'd be yeah, Marcy. Oh.
SPEAKER_05If I don't know where they are, you don't know the fucking one to talk about.
SPEAKER_08If you got it apart in one in one piece, it would be like, oh shit. It's like a CNN. I saw things.
SPEAKER_05They showed a way that you're supposed to open them. The Marcy pen? Yeah, and they're like, you guys are opening them wrong. They got this pool tab. I'd look I'd buy some. And they would be on there. Like, there's no fucking.
SPEAKER_08They had a thing about those that was on squid it was Mexican squid games. You have to get one of these out without breaking it. Without breaking it.
SPEAKER_04It's been a look.
SPEAKER_07Everybody knows the candy.
SPEAKER_08It's called Cincharros, if it was fucking real Mexican. No.
SPEAKER_07I love tortilla chips, but they can be a little chilly.
SPEAKER_06But now there's new Centaros.
SPEAKER_07Remember the shit? Not only is that dude not Mexican, he's Indian.
SPEAKER_05I know. I think he's Italian.
unknownSancheros light and crispy cutter.
SPEAKER_05Maybe by the Kepler Kepleros.
SPEAKER_07Bro.
SPEAKER_05Dude, I don't make the shit up. Alright?
SPEAKER_07That's fucking that's much on Rassifugging. Making fun of me and right now.
SPEAKER_05And that's just the bullshit that I get locked into and whatever. We need to get the fuck out of here. Jeff, I know you hate this shit. But you know what?
SPEAKER_02That's the best career. You're gonna fucking love it. Come on, man.
SPEAKER_05That's great.
SPEAKER_04But now there's a terrible Vinny's walkout song next time.
SPEAKER_05I wanted to do the whole thing with all commercials. Make their walkout songs, dude. I I I swear, I put it all together.
SPEAKER_08The shortest kid on the team, you have to go, my buddy, my buddy, my buddy, and me.
SPEAKER_05Dude, he looks like a my buddy too. I'm not gonna say no names, but yeah. That'd be great. But I had one for Vinny.
SPEAKER_04It was uh Oh my god. Holy shit.
SPEAKER_07The Keebleros. Oh nice little racist, but it's a little It was so good. And that too, but this is gonna be Vinny's.
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah.
unknownI know this one.
SPEAKER_02In a restaurant. It's all because some hacker stole my identity.
SPEAKER_05There's a conserving chowder and nice tea.com. I can't see it's coming at it.
SPEAKER_02They monitor your credit and give you female alert. This is what I married my dream girl. I married my dream girl. And there's a shit tell me her credit was bad. So now instead of living in a pleasant suburb, we're living in the basement out of dad. We can't get alone for a respectable home. Just because my girl defaulted on some old credit card. If we'd gone to freecreditreport.com, I'd be a happy bachelor with a dog and a yard.
SPEAKER_08No, he'd be happy without her. See?
SPEAKER_07That's a bad story. Don't get married. Don't get married. Fucking dummy. That's what I heard out of that whole fucking thing.
SPEAKER_08That's what I heard. I'd be a happy bachelor.
SPEAKER_07She lied to me and she's just cake and I should have married. She stuck my boy my buddy's dick. She served me key barrows, and now I'm up to chincheros.
SPEAKER_05So our goal is to find all these fucking commercials, bro. Old commercials. Everybody bringers to have some fun. Everyone bring their top five.
SPEAKER_04What was that for, though? It was the lawyer. It was the Spanish Larry H Parker. Oh, yeah. Those vinted, those vintage, those vintage. And then three, two, two.
SPEAKER_05I find we're should like remember bonkers? Candy? Or title? It was title weight. Tidal Wait. I remember that. The whatchamacallit commercials. Whatchamacallits. But they have this like sitting there and goes.
SPEAKER_04No, the chewing. You remember that?
SPEAKER_05No. Yeah. See? Whatchamacallit, bro. And then we'll play. Whatchamacallit. Whatcha?
unknownWhatcha?
SPEAKER_05What's your call? We're gonna do a yes. That was the same commercial. Okay. That was the same commercial. We're gonna do same commercial.
SPEAKER_08Jingles. I don't remember that part, but I remember what you're doing. Next episode, bring your jingles. Jingle. I'll bring my jungles. Jingles.
SPEAKER_05I can't spur. What is that? Jingle jingle. Jingle jingle. New York City! Get a rope. Pace Picante. I watch your pace pacante. That's another one, dude. Like I'm not.
SPEAKER_08I lived in New York. I'm not either. But a white dude. It was a white dude. Get a rope.
SPEAKER_04Get a rope.
SPEAKER_08Yeah. Dude. Yeah, even though those dudes are wider than the city stickers. But that's all man. I tell you what. Good homework.
SPEAKER_05Good homework assignment. I want that. Okay. The show is evolved. I'm gonna make a playlist. Homework. Bring your best five jingles. Jingles from TV. Commercials. Commercials. We already blew through like a few of them. Yeah. No, there's more five commercials, your five um like cr uh what about TV show?
SPEAKER_04Didn't we? Well, that's what I was saying. We did a theme song. We did theme songs already, but I think commercials, jingles. I think that was three years ago. Advertisements.
SPEAKER_05All right, so bring 'em in. Advert it's if you're English, they're advertisements. So we're gonna quit this show in uh ten seconds, so Okay, bye. Thanks. We're the human rights show. We'll see you next round. Seven. We're already at three.