The Humanz Race Show
Here you’ll find episodes jam-packed with profanity-laced punchlines, irreverent impressions, and hilarious shenanigans that'll make you question your own sense of humor. Come join us as we dive headfirst into the realms of hilarity and push the boundaries of good taste as we share personal stories, discuss absurdities, and have a damn good time.
The Humanz Race Show
S7 Ep.1- Get It Off My Fridge
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The Crew Talks About Average Thermostat Temp Inside, Derek In His Pool, Abe's Camping Trip, Snoring, Snuggling With Your Dog, Magnets And Pictures On Refrigerator, Photoshop And AI, T.V. Commercial Battle, And Other Nonsense.
Hey, welcome to the human race show.
SPEAKER_12We're reaching out someone far away.
SPEAKER_03And we're touching you far away in Singapore. Is it okay if I touch myself? I know. I said it on purpose like that. Welcome to the show. I'm Derek hanging out with Caitlin and Abe. I noticed that. A lot. It's always at the very end of something.
SPEAKER_11My favorite is when like Jen is trying to like do something or like we're playing a game. Like when we go bowling, go over here to Plausible.
SPEAKER_03Right when she's bowling.
SPEAKER_11Right when she's about to blow blow.
unknownBlow.
SPEAKER_11Well here she's about to bowl. Dar she blows. I was going just to mess with the G.
SPEAKER_13Gotta throw in a Dar she blows.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, something like that. Yeah. How's it going, buddy? Good. Good. We're back. It's hot. It's fucking blown. Let's start with the weather.
SPEAKER_13How's the weather out there? Fucking hot.
SPEAKER_03You know it's funny, we never want to start with the weather, but.
SPEAKER_11It seems to be the good place to start. I don't know. I was on a roof the other day, dude. It was hotter than shit.
SPEAKER_03I was on my couch the other day and it was hotter than shit. Seriously, yesterday. I'm sitting in there on the couch. I don't know how your mom quit it. Been in live for an hour or a minute 40, and you've done three yawns. I'm tired and I'm sorry. Fucking wake up. Take a nap.
unknownWake up!
SPEAKER_03So I'm sitting in there, making Vinny, and I'm like, dude, it's fucking hot. He goes, Yeah, it's really hot in here. I don't know. Mom doesn't even feel nothing. And I go, I bet you it's like 79 degrees in here. Where do you like to keep your thermostatic?
SPEAKER_11Oh, 74 minimum. 72 to 74.
SPEAKER_03Okay. I said, put it down to 72, and then we'll kick it up to about 74 or so. Right, right. So all of a sudden, oh, instant. Oh my god, nice. And Wendy comes out. She comes out. Did you turn on the air? I'm like, yeah, babe, it's 114 outside. I thought we'd crank on some air. 72? No. So I immediately Google. What is the average temp that you keep in your house? Right, right. 68 to 72. Right. Yeah, yeah. She has it at 79. It's like my mom, dude. She gets a little breeze through that front window. I don't know what the fuck she does.
SPEAKER_04She doesn't do anything. She just sits there under the vent so she doesn't get hot or anything. She was telling me the other day.
SPEAKER_03Dude, it's like she gets stale air. So we crank that bitch, man. And then by about eight o'clock at night, I'm over there fucking got a blanket, man. It's getting cold in here. Let's okay.
SPEAKER_11See, but that's the thing. By like seven o'clock, maybe six thirty-seven, when it starts to start dropping in temp, that's when I'll turn it off. We have fans running all day, no matter what. All our ceiling fans stay running all day. But then we'll open up. Get the front door open, get the crossbury's going. Yeah. If we can at night we leave everything open.
SPEAKER_03That's what's nice about our front door and back door, sliding door, they line up. So that wind goes right through. Perfect through it. Of course I have to stand at a weird spot in my living room to catch it, but it still cools it way down. No, it's good to see. My new thing I started yesterday, dude. It was fucking hot yesterday. Coming home from work. I got off, say two o'clock or something. Are you getting ice at Circo Caine and throwing it down your pants?
SPEAKER_11No, not yet. That's next month.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, August really is.
SPEAKER_11You buy the bag of ten pound ice and you sit on it.
SPEAKER_03Well, I I started thinking we put that pool up. Yeah. So I'm on the the pool's been up for I don't think we did it last year, but we've had about three years of the city. So you break it down every year. Yeah. Okay. I mean it's only what three foot tall by but enough to soak it. Oh dude, you can soak. I mean you could Yeah, be cooled out. I could swim in it if I do a circular lap.
SPEAKER_11Well, when you're like five foot three, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Drowning it's coming up to your nose. Well, I did. I put it up to my so I got you know this year I'm gonna get in a pool. Right. I'm like, Whitney, this year. What what about today? So I made it a mission. I came home, took my shit inside, gave my dog his snacks, because I'm the snack guy.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03And directly into my room, put on my swim trunks, grabbed a Modello, got out in the pool, man, and no one's watching me. Vinny's on his phone. Not that I don't want people watching me, but I want them to be like, Dad's in the pool. Like, Dad's because I'm never in the pool.
SPEAKER_04You this was yesterday?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Mom hasn't allowed me to go in because of chemicals.
SPEAKER_03Well, yeah, I'll get to that. She's trying to tell me that shit. So I'm fucking throwing rocks at the side of the house. Yeah. Trying to get her attention. Maybe she'd come out.
SPEAKER_02Be like, oh, you're in the pool.
SPEAKER_03Like so proud of you. And it took me a while, man, to get sitting down though. Really? Fucking cold water. I told you this is a little bit of a water.
SPEAKER_04I told him do not disturb. I don't know why it went through.
SPEAKER_03Throw it out the window. Put that thing out somewhere else. So I'm out there a little like a quarter inch at a time, just dipping down your body. You know, you're so hot and you get in there. As soon as I get in there, a big ass fucking cloud comes over. Yeah. And I'm like, oh man, where's the sun now? Yeah. And I finally got in. I could sit right in the middle of the pool and it goes up to about my chin. So I'm just sitting in there with my beer up in the air. Somebody come look at me.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, the weather too ruined camping for us, too. Oh, did you go? Oh, yeah, for for Memorial Day. Yeah, well, you went like on a Tuesday or something. You went Tuesday. Yeah. So Monday was all rainy. Yeah. But back to the weather. Was it muddy out there? No, it's just because up at Mingus Mountain, it was just windier than all day. Oh, that's right. It was just was cold and just not like.
SPEAKER_03Because I went I went to work that morning thinking about you going because it was about seven in the morning. I'm driving, going, fuck, Abe's up in the mountains right now.
SPEAKER_11Yeah. And it's kind of chilly. It's kind of bad, dude. He's going, wrap it up, guys. Let's go. Well, and like Jen's parents had the fifth will, but they're like, well, why don't you come here and we'll hang inside in here all day? I'm like, that's not what you go camping for. Right. I can sip a beer, be in my underwear, and you know, watch a movie.
SPEAKER_03But like I'll put a Woodsy movie on.
SPEAKER_11Right, right. No, and we got a fire the first night. So they took their trailer and you ground camp. Oh, we yeah, we tend to. But like I have a cot. Jen and I each have our cot that we take and they break down and everything because I don't like sleeping on the floor. Sure. And then I have the blow-up pad for the cot, and then on top of that, I'll throw a blanket and then my sleeping bag. So and then we bring uh we have camping pillows, so then I have a pillow on top of that.
SPEAKER_03Well, what's a camping pillow?
SPEAKER_11Yeah, what's our pillows dedicated to camping only.
SPEAKER_03So it smells like campfire. So it smells like campfire. Marshmallow smear understand.
SPEAKER_11It's pie needles every time you pull it out. Oh, it's pillowing my neck. And I bought this thing from DeWalt that um I'm using it for work, but it allows me to put like my six amp, like 20 volt batteries in, and it gives you full charge so I can run my CPAP machine when I'm camping. What the fuck? Like, so like, but Jen said like at four hours it stopped working, and and she's like, then you started just snoring into your mask, so it was just a muffled fucking retarded chibaki over there. Yeah, yeah. So like she's like waking me up, hey, change the battery outside and sit there and swap another battery just so I can that's wild.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you you don't even you're going out for a night, you can't just say fuck that thing.
SPEAKER_11So we've done it, like we've gone to like uh a party with like friends, like we'll we'll be at Steve Amara's, and you know we've had too much to drink, and I'm like, alright, do we pay for the Uber? And Steve always be like, We have the guest room, just crash.
SPEAKER_03You're like, I don't have my fucking machine.
SPEAKER_11Put on a machine, excuse me. And I'll just uh deal and wake everybody up because I snore fucking hard. Are you bad? I am hard, hard, hard. And again, I know we've talked about it before, but it's like it's I'm anatomically made to just no matter what, I can lose all the weight in the world and I'd still be snore. So I'm a snore.
SPEAKER_03Now Wendy says I only snore when I'm drinking. I mean, I'll go breathe weird. Right. But like hard snoring. Snoring is when I'm drinking. Me too.
SPEAKER_04That's what I've heard.
SPEAKER_03Well, that's what they say. Well, and that's the weird thing. It's like I want to put a video camera on me for the whole night. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And just they have those apps.
SPEAKER_11They do, which are creepy.
SPEAKER_03Find me. Not right now, but find me one and I'm gonna try it tonight.
SPEAKER_11Hold on, dude. It's an app that records you while you're sleeping. Are you ready to hear what your room sounds like at night? People have reported like hearing voices, hearing shit that they wish they didn't hear with that. Oh, that's okay. Like creepy shit. Hey, bro, again, I haven't seen anything you to make me believe, but I'm also not discrediting it. There's trip up there.
SPEAKER_03You'll you find us one tonight. Record them and do that.
SPEAKER_11I've done one before, and it you can hear yourself talking your sleep, but you'll be like five dollars. What? Yeah, you bag sleep. Sorry, you're mine. So yeah, try it. Try it and bring bring what you find and see.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, if there's a free trial one, I mean, what do you guys set it up to film you?
SPEAKER_11No, no, no. It's just on your phone and it records you while you're sleeping.
SPEAKER_03So you want no, I want a video one too. I'll put it up because I want to see how many times like oh look at me. I just did a whole 360 right for no reason. Right. Was snored through the whole thing. Yeah, I want to see what the fuck do I do? What do you do when you're sleeping? Yeah. I think it'd be fun.
SPEAKER_11You just start doing the stepbrothers frickin' starting really good.
SPEAKER_03Are the couch cushions in the oven? Okay, Derek. So yeah. I I I would not take my CPAP camping, though, dude. That's getting back to that. That's that's wild.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, I know I do, just so I can sleep right. Now because it makes a difference like how I sleep. I actually sleep good.
SPEAKER_03Now uh that guy, what's his name? Uh Jeff. Yeah. He used to be in the show. Yeah, yeah. Thank you. Who?
SPEAKER_11Yeah. Shout out Jeff.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Jeff! Jeff! Well, he snores. Apparently, I never really slept with him, but did he pass out on the coucher one time?
SPEAKER_04Nah, I don't Oh, on his birthday last year? On the recliner?
SPEAKER_03Remember, he got so drunk that he just passed out like I don't remember him going crazy snoring though, but he says, Man, I snore so bad, like he'll have to go sleep in the fucking bathroom in the bathtub.
SPEAKER_11Of the hotel or whatever they're staying in.
SPEAKER_03His homie and the the kid are out there. Yeah. And he's like, I gotta go sit in the bathroom and sleep. Yeah. Like, doesn't that give you more of an echo in there? Yeah. Separate room, maybe. You know, that's that snore shit is Wendy snores like cute sometimes, you know, like So does Jen. She does the three stooges. She'll do it very lightly. But sometimes, like, if I'm trying to I'm finally getting to sleep. Right. And then if she just lays a certain way, you get that. I'm like, fuck man. So I do little kicks, like just kind of kick her leg and then act like I'm sleeping. She gets up like, what the fuck? You know. Like perfect. It just if if you put her in a different position, then she'll move in. It's done, you know.
SPEAKER_11That's like when we travel too, and like we're staying at hotels, we're going to concert, whatever, and we're staying for the night. We'll get in, we check in. The first thing as I do is I set that up. Because if I know we're going now and I'm gonna get it.
SPEAKER_13You want to have it ready to go.
SPEAKER_11I want to come back and not when I'm drunk trying to put the water in and like get to hose up your ass.
SPEAKER_03Right, right.
SPEAKER_11So I have it all ready so I can literally just throw it on and just boom, like knock out with it. So but yeah, I take a cat. And I got a battery. In your bed? Uh yes, with us, which has been sucky because it's been getting hotter and hotter, and he wants to like nuzzle up with the body. Who does he nuzzle to you or to Jen more, so I feel bad. Because he nuzzles up to her like he's like right up on her bed.
SPEAKER_03During the day, he's my dog. On the couch or right up alongside you, right?
SPEAKER_11Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Pop-ups on my leg, you know. He's he's my dude. He loves to snuggle, and I'll tell him, hey, snuggle time, we'll go to bed. Fucking nothing. He goes and lays right on Wendy.
SPEAKER_11That's that's what he wants to do all the time, is just be on you. Like on me, like buddy.
SPEAKER_03Um, Dennis is starting to he knows daddy. So I'll be like, you know, you're gonna give daddy some loving. Fucking flop right in, and we're just so cute, dude.
SPEAKER_04Oh we just lay there all and the Wendy good looks, oh cute. She gets all jealous, you know.
SPEAKER_03And then finally my arm's asleep, and I'm like, fuck, I want to go to bed now. I'll I'll lay there uncomfortable for 40 minutes.
SPEAKER_11Just to give him some extra sleep.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, because I love him. Yeah, everybody. Finally, I'm like, oh, I gotta move, dude. He just looks at me and gets up and he flops on her facing the door. So I got his ass, you know, pretty close to my face. So I like I'll scoot him down, push him around. That that dude's a snuggler. Yeah. I woke up the other day, he drooled all over my fucking pillow, man. Did he really? Like wet.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, bad. Like bad, bad.
SPEAKER_03But so cute. Is my my boy's drooling? Yeah.
SPEAKER_11No, he he needs honest really and he'll pick one or the other, but again, the fact that it's getting hotter, it's like, buddy, give me some room, dude.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, he'll climb up above my head because I have two pillows, but I only use one to sleep, like the two to prop up, watch TV. Then I kind of slide one down, and I use one. That other one he's like, oh, fucking prime real straight, bro. And he clums up right there, and then he's cute because he feels a little breath. And I'm like, oh, my little boy, man. You know, but in the summertime, you're like, dude, get the fuck off me.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, like you're saying, it's just too hot for that, dude. And then what's worse now is I've gotten to this point, I didn't do this before. I just started doing this like last year. Um, my hips hurt when I sleep on my side, so now I have to have like a pillow in between my knees. Yeah, in between my knees. Yeah. Which it makes it hotter.
SPEAKER_10Like Yeah.
SPEAKER_11Like then, like, and then since I sleep naked, now I'm peeling the pillow off my balls, so you know, it doesn't matter. You sleep naked? Uh undies right now. Undies, and then I'll start with the tank top, and then halfway through the night I just take it off and throw it off and I woke up last night.
SPEAKER_03I was like almost drenched. Yeah. Because I wore a t-shirt and underwear, you know. Yeah, yeah. And even my sleep, I don't I'm not, I don't go shirtless, man. Really? Oh, dude. Well, I have been. I'm like, just fucking brace your fucking fatness and go. Yeah, buddy. You know, Kate's got a mirror in the living room.
SPEAKER_04My skinny mirror.
SPEAKER_03Dude, it makes you look good. I look at this mirror and I'm like, wow, I look fucking good. Yeah. And then you realize, oh, wait a minute. It's what it's like.
SPEAKER_04Because it rests against the wall and it like it's like a reverse funhouse mirror.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I think it's a surface mirror, man. But I look tall and skinny, dude. I'm like, I love that mirror. Yeah, but I want to make my all my mirrors like this. Yeah, yeah. You go out in public. You're like, fuck it, hey, where's the gym, man? But I'm really starting to why am I gonna wear a shirt to bed? I spin around so much. The fuckers all the time.
SPEAKER_11And it starts pulling on you, yeah.
SPEAKER_03And I pulled my shirt off last night. It was like sticky. I'm like, let's go. And I woke up naked. Yeah, dude. I'll do that sometimes. Because you're just like peeling off one thing at a time. I can never sleep in socks, though. No, I can't sleep in socks either. Even wintertime, anytime.
SPEAKER_11In wintertime, especially I like it because then I like to keep like one foot out of the covers just to get the cold.
SPEAKER_03And that's where getting back to your your pillow between your knees. Yeah. I use just my blankets between my knees. You know, I don't need a full pillow.
SPEAKER_11Well, you know, when fucking Jenna's hogging the entire blankets, her and the dog. And then Loki. Because she does this thing where she turns around and then she pulls up and then on the center. I'm like, what the fuck, dude? Like, no, you gotta pull back. I was gonna get my own blanket. I was gonna do that. It's gonna be ninja turtle blankets. Yeah, that's how it starts when I was growing up.
SPEAKER_03That's how it starts. And next thing you know, you gotta do it. You separate beds. Well, I'll just take this other spare bedroom, man. I snore too much. No, no, no.
SPEAKER_11I don't believe in that separate bedroom boy.
SPEAKER_03I was thinking of your dog day, Loki. Yeah. Is it Loki? Loki. Or is it Loki? He's both low-key.
SPEAKER_11Now, I like low-key. Jenny calls him Loki because he's crazy. Uh Lokito. Yeah, yeah. But no, Loki, like the Norse. Norse got a mischief because he is fucking mischievous, that little shit. Low-key is a cool name. I started walking him and he does this thing now where I'm trying to run, all he wants to do is pull on the leash. I'm trying to jog. Oh. And he's just stopping because he thinks, oh, okay, this means we're playing now. I'm like, no, buddy, let's jog. Let's let's get like help me lose some weight, bro. We're walking.
SPEAKER_03Is that your first leash? What do you mean? Is that the first leash you bought him? Yes. Dennis now has gone through three leashes because of that. Oh, like he'll shred them? He fucking cuts them in half with his little dude, his teeth are man.
SPEAKER_11Yeah. They're like razors. No, dude. I should I they're okay, they're not bad today, but I'm usually scratched up and bitmarked because yeah, the other fucker wants to play off the ball.
SPEAKER_03He will not bite like even hard. He's so like uh with me. Right. He fucking bit Wendy last year. Trying to take uh a bone or something out of his mouth. Yeah, you should be able to do it.
SPEAKER_04It was a sandwich off the table that he grabbed.
SPEAKER_03Like if he does that around me, I just go, put it down and he'll drop in boogie. That's alpha voice. That's why. He fucking bit Wendy. Yeah. And so I came home, I'm like, hey my good boy, you some snacks, you know, fucking snack man. And she comes out, he was a bad boy today. And now I'm like, give me your fucking bone back. Yeah, get out of here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now I'm all mad at him, you know. And he knows, and it is an alpha thing. He knows Yeah, you're the alpha. Because he'll grab shit and run out back, and Wendy'll chase him out there, try to get it out of his mouth, and he'll growl at her and shit. I'll come out. You don't fucking growl at her. He drops it and cowers. Yeah, yeah. He knows not to fuck around. I guess still toe shoes. A couple fucking boots to the ribs. Shut the fuck up. No, I've never hit him or kicked him or nothing.
SPEAKER_11No, I've I've I've noseboped him. Oh yeah. Because he's gotten bad and he's gotten a good nose pop, like, hey, knock that shit off. I just do it out of the blue sometimes just to let him know.
SPEAKER_03After he's been good and everything, just smack. He's like so confused.
SPEAKER_11I'm gonna try that with Jen, see if that works. Try it. The fuck are you doing?
SPEAKER_03So I want to thank you for coming out to Kate's shower the other day.
SPEAKER_11Oh yeah, that was fun. It was fun.
SPEAKER_03You came in and wanted content over there.
SPEAKER_11So we've been using that Thorhammer. It's now in the middle of the show. Oh, that's what you got. I was gonna ask, what did you have? So it was a Thorhammer that's a bottle opener, and it's like maybe six, seven inches long. So heavy? It's got a little weight on it. Like you could probably break the table or the glass table with the floor. But I want to put a magnet on the top so that I can put it on my fridge. Which I'm getting a new fridge, by the way, and I'm upset because you know all the old fridges are magnetized, and Jen got the fancy new satin nickel front and blah blah blah, and we got the ones that open like this. French doors. Yeah, but it won't let you do uh magnets up front. I mean, you've seen our fridge, like you gotta fucking be kidding me. Like, I love magnets and things. My mom never let us do that shit growing up. My mom had magnets of like states growing up because we would visit states and she'd get that. But like we have like the kids' drawings, the the you know, the Mario thing that we have on there, all the Star Wars stuff. It's like I love our fridge for all that. There's the hedgehog that's looking at the mirror and it's the one that goes looking sharp.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. And like your little like noteboard Right for the week.
SPEAKER_11What we have going on, writing stuff for like I like that shit on there. Now with the new fridge, we're not gonna get to do that.
SPEAKER_03Why do you say that? Because look at my notes right here. And I was gonna talk about this later. What a sick. Segment way into this.
SPEAKER_11Collecting papers on a fridge.
SPEAKER_03Fuck you and your fucking bullshit on your fridge. Why? Okay, we got this new fridge. Not this fridge, the one outside. We got this ten years ago now, I guess. New fridge, ten years ago. But the whole thing was no papers. You know, like if you have something that's coming up next week, you know, in a magnet, put it on there. Other than that, I don't want shit. Why not? Because it becomes a nuisance every time I open it, it's dropping shit because she's got like 48 fucking pictures on there. People I don't even know.
SPEAKER_00Like Christmas cards, Christmas cards seven years ago.
SPEAKER_03Dude, so I'm like, I fucking hate shit on fridges, and I wanted to bring this up, and you brought it up, which is great.
SPEAKER_08Yeah.
SPEAKER_11And you like all that shit. I do like all that. But again, you could so you gotta understand the contrast. I've talked about like how strick my mom was. Again, if the drawer, one shirt was misfold, she'd pull the drawer, dump the whole drawer out in your bed, and you had to fold the whole drawer back again. Oh yeah. My mom did laundry. Like my mom was hardcore, wasn't allowed to have posters. My desk had to be all clear, my computer, everything, my pens all put away where they my drawers all put. Like I wasn't allowed to have that stuff. So, like you see my office. Now I have posters, I have paintings, I have shit. I'm gonna have cards and my shit.
SPEAKER_04I have a cartography shrine.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, I have my Derek Shrine, which I should show you. I have my cartography map of the Star Wars universe. I have like all my Legos up. Like I wasn't allowed to do that as a kid. So for me Well, that's all fine. I'm talking about my butt. As a fridge, we weren't allowed to do that either as a kid.
SPEAKER_03So to me, I think we have it's like his schedule from seventh grade is on there. You're like nothing ever gets took it off. Taken off. I'm like, who the fuck is this guy? You know, oh my cousin from fucking Kansas. And I'm like, I don't even recognize this kid. Oh, he's 23 now. Like, why is this picture of when he's seven on the like? It's weird. Yeah, I get that. I got couples that they're divorced for four years, their whole fucking family car still.
SPEAKER_11I'm like, get rid of this shit. You know that collage that's above my closet in my office with all the photos? I don't know if you've ever looked up with that, right? So in my office, I have a thing, it's like, you know, you used to be able to buy those big picture frames and you put all the pictures in there. Yeah. A bunch of people on that are like, ooh, they're not together anymore. We should take that. Ooh, they're not together. Maybe we should take that one.
SPEAKER_03And that's the thing with picture frame, like, you know, family and you like back in the 70s and 80s, you had those multi things. How often do you change those? I mean, once they're in there, they're kind of part of the they're right.
SPEAKER_11They're there forever. But I got okay, so I got a petty version of that. My brother divorced his wife. My my brother Daniel, never met him. He he lives in Vegas now, he used to live in Michigan. Divorced his wife. My mom photoshopped her out of the family portrait and then put it back in the fucking living room, dude. That's Jenny and I'm very common. She straight photoshopped her out. She's like, no, ni madre's gonna start. Yeah, blah, blah, blah. And like, we were like, oh, okay, that's cool. Mom, yeah. Photoshop.
SPEAKER_03She's got his arm out and it's just an empty space.
SPEAKER_06He's kissing nothing at all.
SPEAKER_03Laughing at But I get on Facebook, they have I mean a couple groups of photoshop or edit, you know, you put on whatever you want. Hey, can you like request dude? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It it's pretty fun because they'll do the real one, but then they'll do like the one after silly ones and put some LeBron Jeremy sitting next to her or something. Yeah, yeah. Can you remove the girl in the middle and the purple, you know? And I always my mind goes to I want to know more of this story. Why are we taking rid taking her out, getting rid of her? What happened? Yeah, what why? But you can't ask questions like that. They'll I've tried. They bang the origin of this, you know. Like why do you hate your mom? And like a lot of people with their family photos, you know, they got the wife, the husband, two kids. Can you please remove the husband? He's no longer in the picture. But people are so good with this Photoshop shit now. They could like move her over.
SPEAKER_11Do you AI it now?
SPEAKER_03Well well, that's the thing, is now I could I did my first couple edits because it's open to everybody. Uh yeah. And they'll be like, hey, can you remove this fucking huge dick pillow that's on my bed? Right, right. And I got that easy thing. Just I hold long hold it and then circle that pillow, erase it, right, right, and it fills it in with the blanket or whatever. That's an easy edit. Right, right, right. But I get in now, I'm like, oh man, I just did someone's edit, and they're like, Thank you.
SPEAKER_02I'm like, oh look at me.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I got it. I got it. But now with this AI, I'm like, what do you want? Yeah, yeah. And that's not really photoshopping. That's just letting you know, Photoshop is an art.
SPEAKER_11The way these guys people that know how to do and brush it out and actually fix it and throw it it used to be like that's because they'll make some fucking 400 pound chicks.
SPEAKER_03It's like, hey, could you make me like 150 pounds, see what I'd look like? You know, people it's very realistic, you know. Yeah. If you try to AI that, you know, they they slim off like a couple pounds, but then your face doesn't even look the same.
SPEAKER_11Or it overcorrects, it overcorrects it, it makes you like, I want to look realistically like I've been, you know, working out and then it'll make you like too buff. You look all anime style, and you're like, no, this is too bad.
SPEAKER_03And it depends on what you're going for. Like me as a goof, you know, it was just I'm like, hey, just fucking thin me out, make me look like I've been lifting weights. Yeah, they make me like a wrestler. And I'm like, God, that ain't even close. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or they only shave off a few pads, but my nose now is big. You know, it's like AI will do some weird shit. Tweak it just too too much when you're not like man, I I do some killer AI pictures, dude.
SPEAKER_11I like the videos though better.
SPEAKER_03Like a well, yeah, I do a lot of those. But the the pictures, I do a lot of them. Just because why not? Oh fuck. Ah, dude, they got the who's that fucking weird dude in the back. Take him out, put a banner in the back that says go Derek or something, you know, and it'll make all this shit. But then they randomly insert like oompa loompas and shit. Like I made one for Jesse, and I'm I says, Go coach Jesse in the back, and he fucking zooms in and says, Who the fuck is this? It looks like a 50-year-old dude that's about four foot tall, and he's wearing like a uniform like he's on our team. And I'm like looking at him, I don't know. And I have to go back and look at the real picture. There's not even nobody there. They just only added this dude in there. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Do you have that picture? I want to see it.
SPEAKER_03I do. I 100% do. I'll show you a break here. No, we did that for uh for uh for New Year's too.
SPEAKER_11Our our family in California, like, oh, what are you guys doing? Boring, nothing, because we went, Jenny and I went to my mom and dad's for New Year's. We had tamales that were left over for Christmas, and we left at like 8:30 to go home and go to bed New Year's Eve. But we were messing with the family saying, Oh, we're we're having a big party. So I told my parents and Jenny to sit just randomly in the living room. Oh, yeah, yeah, I saw I remember that. You fucking doubled it.
SPEAKER_03And I made the whole room look like there was people sitting there hanging out, but it doubled it up, like you could see the same person again over here.
SPEAKER_11And they're right, right. So it just it you can catch it if you're paying attention, but it looked pretty good for like you know, trying to mess with the phone.
SPEAKER_03Oh, I take a picture of me and Vinny in our umpire gear right here in the front yard. And I'm like, well, I mean, that's cute, you know. I mean, that's a real picture. You wearing our shit, but I'm like, it could be better, man. What if I go in and say, add a baseball field to the background? Just an innocent little fucking baseball field in the background. I got comments on it. What field are you playing at? That's crazy. That's a nice field. And you're like, why is Kevin Costner back there? The corn back there is cool. But did I have to go, oh, I AI'd that, you know. I don't want people to ask me. It's just take the picture for what it's worth, you know.
SPEAKER_11They're like, when were you on Mars playing baseball? You're like, Yeah.
SPEAKER_03But then again, I print that picture out. Where does it go? On the fucking fridge. Get that shit off my fridge, man. Hey, we're the humans race. We're gonna take five. We'll be right back. I gotta hit the fridge. Nestle. Welcome back to the humans race show. That's that's an honorary mention right there.
SPEAKER_13Number one. Yeah, dude. I've never heard that never, no, dude. That was huge.
SPEAKER_03That was old school back in my day. Yeah. But we are doing commercial jingle challenge or battle. Battle off, alright? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So welcome to the commercial jingle battle off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Brought to you by. Brought to you by my jingles. I mean my jingles. Well, it could be brought to you by all of these. These are all our sponsors, by the way. Yeah. Um so don't sue us. But what we're gonna do is I got a list of my favorite jingles growing up. 70s, 80s, 90s, 2000s, whatever. TV jingles that we don't hear these commercials. We've talked about it in past episodes, but maybe you're brand new and you don't know. So this is the game. Abe, you will pick one of your jingles off your list. Sure. And then I'll go through my list and put one up to battle against you. Perfect. And then we will discuss and see who moves on. We'll discuss and see who moves forward. Right. If we can't decide, Kate's here as the neutral party.
SPEAKER_11She's too young to know any of these.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but that way she can say what what sells me more, you know?
SPEAKER_08Not true. You know? Okay. Okay.
SPEAKER_03So, um, let's get right into it. Babe, you want to pick your first one.
SPEAKER_11Number one's a bit of a classic one, and you can try and find it here. Crossfire.
SPEAKER_03Oh, the game? The game. Yes. Wow. Okay, um, it went something like the future.
SPEAKER_08The ultimate challenge. Crossfire.
SPEAKER_11Okay, we got it. But my favorite was the ending where it's like, Crossfire!
SPEAKER_07Crossfire!
SPEAKER_11Here we go. That ruined it. Yeah, ruined it. Sorry. But yes. It's got like that metal e Crossfire!
SPEAKER_03That I mean, that that should be pretty easy to beat. Uh huh. No, I'm just saying, I'm gonna battle that one with um shit, dude. I I think any one of mine will beat that. I'm gonna go with uh honeycomb. Ooh. What do you know about honeycomb? I do know that one. How about this one?
SPEAKER_05Come on, you guys. It's only a little hungry giant.
SPEAKER_08Hungry for a beer.
unknownI'm thinking, big thing.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not small. No, no, no. Honeycomb's got a big big honeycomb cereal.
SPEAKER_05Part of this big deep breakfast.
SPEAKER_09Honeycomb's over.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Alright, well now we get to uh yeah, the nitty-gritty here. Get the fuck out with crossfire. Honeycomb, I that's my vote. Honeycomb.
SPEAKER_11I will I will give you I will give you honeycomb too. What? Kate.
SPEAKER_04Uh honestly. I like the crossfire one. Sing it. I I just like the the drum and bass of it. Like the beat.
SPEAKER_03But how'd the song go?
SPEAKER_04I mean it You get caught up a little bit.
SPEAKER_03Crossfire! I mean, it sounded like a real song, a steel dragon dead or something. Yep. It does sound kind of 80s metal hair. I think if we both agree.
SPEAKER_11But like I I kind of agree, honey. Because that hit my nostalgia. Yeah. See? Next week's in the field of the game. And that's and that's that's what Crossfire was doing for me. It was hit me my fills. I forgot about Crossfire. Oh, yeah, yeah. I love that game. And we played it. My cousin had Crossfire, and then you lose all the BBs. It was just a game where it's a gun.
SPEAKER_13They're like ball bearings.
SPEAKER_11There's like these ball bearings that you take and you load them into the gun.
SPEAKER_13They were like pachinko.
SPEAKER_11Right. You had to keep shooting them at each other and until all of yours were out and they were in his his thing. But that's why it was like, and then no, it was the little spinning thing in the middle. Yeah, there's a spinner that you had to hit that into the other goal. The goal. Right, right, right. That's what it was. That's what it was.
SPEAKER_03Like you kept picking up the BBs and just shooting them with your wrist rocket, you know. Right, right. Oh fucking slingshot and start breaking neighbors called.
SPEAKER_04I could see the crossfire song getting really annoying really fast though. But I feel like that is like you could the honeycomb you could sing along with the biggest.
SPEAKER_03But there was all but it was always the same. Honeycomb's big. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not small. No, no, no.
SPEAKER_04So I do like the honeycomb one.
SPEAKER_03Honeycomb. Honeycomb. First, first round.
SPEAKER_04Fine. Fine.
SPEAKER_03But you know. So I have to pick one now. My uh. I'm looking at Kate's that she has on here. I'm gonna go with um She's got some like newer shit.
SPEAKER_11It's like the TikTok theme.
SPEAKER_03I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go with this one for my first one. This is uh pretty damn old, but here's a 16-second one. We'll go with this one.
unknownHey man, my girl left me. Could you send out a tune?
SPEAKER_10I want my baby back, baby back. Baby back wheel.
SPEAKER_03I got my baby back wheel. Alright, that's mine. That's a toughie.
SPEAKER_11That is a toughie. If I had to go. Chili. Okay, I got something comparable.
SPEAKER_03Okay, well, um, what is it?
SPEAKER_11I feel like chicken tonight.
SPEAKER_03Ooh. So play that right. That was what was that?
SPEAKER_12Uh was it the Tyson? No, it's called Chicken Tonight. Alright, here we go. Rague introduces chicken tonight simmer sauces, and suddenly everybody's saying, I feel like chicken tonight.
SPEAKER_10Like chicken tonight. Chicken tonight!
SPEAKER_12Choose from four new sauces. Each one's made with wheel vegetables and herbs. That was good.
SPEAKER_11It was good, but it's not iconic like it's a good idea. Because even kids today know I I I well might be there. Like chicken tonight. And everybody walked around doing that.
SPEAKER_12From Ragu.
SPEAKER_03Oh, Ragu. Alright, well, I dude, I'm not being biased. But that's chilies all day. To me.
SPEAKER_11Again, because it's iconic, and that was the closest thing I had to it. That that we don't have to go in food while we're gonna go. I know. I was trying to go with the banger. I was trying to go with the banger, but it is because even even Austin Powers.
SPEAKER_03Just because chilies moves on. So baby back ribs moves on. Alright. So you get to pick this one. Okay. We're only gonna do five of these today. We got a little bit more. We got a good list. Well, next couple episodes, stay tuned. I got we got some goodies. Okay. See, I'm not gonna play Pussyfoot and be like, oh, I'm trying to be comfortable. I'm gonna come out with ones that are gonna beat you.
SPEAKER_11Right. Okay. Let me see. I'm gonna go with a classic here. Mentos. Oh, dude.
SPEAKER_03The fresh maker. I have that on my list too. Oh shit. But that is a that's great. Today's show brought to you by Mentos. Alright, leave the button. Mentos. That's a great one.
SPEAKER_11I even point out Foo Fighters. Foo Fighters did uh uh Big Me. Big Me. Yeah, and that was their music video was copying a Mentos, all the Mentos commercials.
SPEAKER_03Anything could be a Mentos commercial. Just fucking play like a random scene in a movie. And it's not Mentos. Yeah. Mentos. That's a big heavy hitter. Yep. So I gotta come with something um against it, huh?
SPEAKER_11Mm-hmm. If you had to pick one.
SPEAKER_03Okay, I'm gonna go with um fuck, man. Like chilies would have gone good against that, but I'm gonna go with this one. Oh man. I don't wanna drown it with some. So I'm just gonna go with this one. That's it. Mentos versus O'Reilly. Mexicans call it O'Reilly's.
SPEAKER_11Oh, really? How much did it cost?
SPEAKER_08Oh really?
SPEAKER_11Oh, Really? Again, going for the iconic aspect. That is just Mentos has been there forever. For sure. So going for that. So I mean, I don't know.
SPEAKER_03I say O'Reilly's is a heavy hitter, but Kate, you're choosing. You choose.
SPEAKER_04I would choose O'Reilly's.
SPEAKER_03Oh, we got one and one. So it comes down to my vote. Ooh, it does. And I'm not gonna sit here and steal everything. I'm giving that one to Mentos. Mentos, dude, that is that's a great one.
SPEAKER_04I just think it's so long.
SPEAKER_03A go? Or long? The song. Yeah, like But it's just it's a story, man.
SPEAKER_11Like it's Yeah, because there's the dudes that were like the guy parks his car next to the girl with the little car, and he and she's like, get in the way. And then the guy's like plugging his watch. I got a meeting.
SPEAKER_03Now that and that's also a thing, kind of like honeycomb to go back. It was like a story. Each one. That one had, oh, it's fucking honored giant. Right. Sometimes they're climbing a tree house. Sometimes they're fucking zipping. Whatever. It made you watch the commercial awesome. Yeah. And that's where Mentos really nailed it because it was like a mini 30-second movie. Right. That was making you fall in love with uh like, oh, dude's walking down the street snapping his fingers, a girl walks by him. You know, it's like, oh, what's gonna happen? Are they gonna hook up?
SPEAKER_11And I'll take into play the actual product itself, too. Everybody's done Mento and Coke things, everybody still knows Mentos. O'Reilly's all done meth and coke. The only ones that know, yeah, right. The only ones that know O'Reilly's are fucking Hispanics fixing low writers. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03But it's a it's a you know Oh, oh, oh Reilly's we use that a lot. Yeah. I don't even use Riley's for the last part, you know.
SPEAKER_02I just oh, oh, oh, oh, Aber!
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you know, like but I'm giving that to Mentos. Okay. Good good call there. All right. And then my turn, I I gotta go, let's go with some big. Let's go with big, all right? Perfect. Now this number four. Showdown. This one could be okay. I'm going with I'm going with this one. This is uh classic.
SPEAKER_05My baloney has a first name. It's O S C A R This is how I learned how to spell baloney, dude. Me too.
SPEAKER_03What a cute little second.
SPEAKER_05I love to read it everything.
SPEAKER_03How do you spell baloney? You know who I don't have away with the B-O-L-O-G-N-N. Bologna.
SPEAKER_11The first name in Bologna. Bologna. He even says Bologna. My first audition when I started acting was an Oscar Meyer commercial. Is that you? And I had to sing and I had to sing the Spanish con Oscar Mayer como más que con lo que más me gusta mí. Something like that. I don't know. I don't know.
SPEAKER_03Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, we're pausing this game. What?
SPEAKER_11So they made a Mexican version. Version of it in Spanish when I was a kid that I auditioned for and I didn't get the part for.
SPEAKER_03But I bet you nailed the Oscar part, huh? Yeah. Oscar. Oscar.
SPEAKER_11Oscar Mayer. Oscar Mayer.
SPEAKER_03That's cool. But you didn't get it. But I didn't get it. No, no. That would have been good. So but you were too gangster for that show. I was too gangster for that chip, dude.
SPEAKER_02With O S C A Y R.
SPEAKER_11So I will counter that with Flintstone kids.
SPEAKER_03Ooh, that's a that's a good one. Now see?
SPEAKER_11Some of these bangers. Some of these bangers, bro. Because everybody knows that one.
SPEAKER_03We do. And it went like this. We'll just go to the short version here.
SPEAKER_10We have Flintstones kids.
SPEAKER_12Flintstones have a lot of drawing growth.
SPEAKER_10Now that's what I call complete.
SPEAKER_03Oh man. I mean, there's more to this song. Like it was a little longer, but right, right, right. We all know.
SPEAKER_11So Flintstone Kids versus Oscar Meyer Kid.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_11Um see, but I feel Oscar Meyer one was older. Flintstone's kids was newer. That was more us 80s, 90s kids, and that was the first time.
SPEAKER_03The Flintstone's that commercial was 81. The Oscar Meyer one was 77.
SPEAKER_11Right, right.
SPEAKER_03But it's all within the realm. You knew both of them, right?
SPEAKER_11I knew both of them. Like they kept updating that commercial every year.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I'm 90s, 2000s, and I know both of those. You know, yeah.
SPEAKER_03So that they stand the test of time. But they stand of time. Have you bought any of those products lately?
SPEAKER_02No.
SPEAKER_11No Oscar Meyer or Dude, and then see, but I'll give you back to nostalgia. I saw this meme the other day that said nothing hits harder than after a day of swimming all day and your mom handing you a bologna sandwich with Doritos. Like that was hard chips on the sandwich chips in that sandwich, and all it was was mayo mustard and one single slice of bologna on wonder bread, and that fucking hit so hard, dude.
SPEAKER_03No, Wendy still eats bologna.
SPEAKER_11I can't I love bologna. Remember fried bologna? That's even better.
SPEAKER_03That's a delicatessment. Yeah. But I'm not opposed to eating a bologna sandwich. I just don't. And why? Like this ghetto. It got so ghetto. The bologna, I had packs that were six inches tall. I remember the ball. And it had the red fucking ring around it. You know, you had to peel the red ring out because that wasn't even Oscar Meyer, that was just bologna. Right, right, right. Or blogna.
SPEAKER_11I I think as as an adult, like for me, I don't need bologna because I'd rather go to the deli, get some boar's hands. Boar's head. Yeah, gold-roasted turkey. You get some fucking hands. I get that Chipotle chicken. And then let me get that jalapeno javardi. But I get and then I want to roll. I want a sub roll.
SPEAKER_03I'm gonna make a fucking bolony baloney sandwich yesterday. Like, I'm like, I'm not opposed to it. Right. I just don't do it. He's just a and Vinny loves baloney now. In the little uh what are those little packs called?
SPEAKER_04Lunchable.
SPEAKER_03Lunchable. He gets baloney ones all the time. Yep. And I'll go rifle through his shit. You know, like, oh, he's got a ham and cheese one. I'll probably say the baloney for him. I'm an adult, I'll take the ham. Yeah, yeah. Which ain't ham. But okay, going back to the vote, you have Oscar Meyer versus Flintstone kids. Um which one did you like better? Okay.
SPEAKER_04I would say Oscar Meyer.
SPEAKER_03Okay. I'm gonna have to lean Oscar Meyer too, dude.
SPEAKER_11Me too. I wanted the Flintstone kid. I kind of gave that. It's on my list too, but I was just trying to put something up that would like be competitive. Competitive to it. Right, right. I get it.
SPEAKER_03Because we gotta get rid of some of it. We gotta get some throwaways in here, right? And then this will be the last round for the day. Uh, Abe, you will start this one.
SPEAKER_11I'm pretty sure you have a counter to this, but I don't know what it would be. Oh, I got counters. Kit Kat Bar.
SPEAKER_03Give me a break, dude. Come on, bro. I almost did that last time, but uh.
SPEAKER_11Because I don't know what the counter do is. Well, I'll find a counter. Let's see if you have the counter.
SPEAKER_08Break me off the piece of that kick.
SPEAKER_03And here's my answer. No. Those are mine. Go buy your own fucking Kit Kat. Just because there's four doesn't mean I gotta share them.
SPEAKER_11And then Halloween, you get the cheap asses that give you just the two bar. There's one now. Really? Yeah, there's one. Get out of here. You need to get the classic full-blown houses that give you full-blown chocolate bars. Those are those are the bars. Those are the places you're like, that's what I'm gonna do.
SPEAKER_03Dude, if I get a like a you know, regular Kit Kat. It's got four. Yeah, I fucking don't even break them. I just eat them. Sandwich the whole thing. Sandwich that motherfucker. And you're like, oh, you just ate three and a half of them. The tops of three and a half.
SPEAKER_11Yeah. Yeah. This is mine. Like you don't buy a single Twix, you buy the four-pack Twix, because that's how you're really gonna enjoy it.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I know.
SPEAKER_03Like, oh, I'm gonna share one. Yeah. So Kit Kat. Oh, that's a that's a banger. Okay. Um I gotta go with a banger on this one. I'm gonna go with this one. Uh it's gonna be tough to beat Kit Kat. I'm not gonna lie to you.
SPEAKER_11Only because it's still used to. Like it the that has not changed. The the slogan's still been the same. Yeah. Everyone knows Kit Kat. Everyone. It is. It's Kit Kat, but they don't do that no more.
SPEAKER_08Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Where do you watch commercials anymore? Well, on YouTube. On Tubi. Right here. They don't show those, so alright, here's here's where I'm gonna go with it. Um his commercial. I don't even know if Kate's seen this, but no.
SPEAKER_10California raisins from the California Vineyard.
SPEAKER_03So like late 80s, 90s terrifying.
SPEAKER_11Okay, well, you gotta understand though, this was in the age in the 80s when everything was like claymation.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, well, and and they're trying to sell raisins.
SPEAKER_11And then so you had raisin brand that came out, and I love raisin brand. But raisin brand.
SPEAKER_03But the thing was, we're we're trying to get you kids to start it. This is about the 90s, you know. So just a little before you're born, but instead of eating Kit Cats and chocolate, we're gonna promote healthy eating. Raisins. And they brought fucking animated raisins to come in and sing.
SPEAKER_11See, that's nostalgic to me because that was like the style. Uh it was huge.
SPEAKER_03I mean, they got t-shirts, they have a whole line.
SPEAKER_11Pee wee Herman with like large marsh and she does that like that animation. That kind of animation. Well, that was brand new at the time, too. All kinds of movies and things that we're doing.
SPEAKER_03The California raisins were huge. I mean, they had fucking dancing raisins.
SPEAKER_11What's the one where Michael John Jackson dances with the bunny of Moonwalker? And it's that same claymation too, and everything.
SPEAKER_02Just leave me alone, man.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, uh, that same movie, but same kind of, yeah. Yeah, but he's dancing with them in the highway and everything.
SPEAKER_03But to me, that Kit Kat, that's a toughie, but I gotta throw out my fight for California raisins. I'm still how big they were with their merchandise. You go find look up a California raisin fucking uh McDonald's thing. I mean, they were in McDonald's, they were huge t-shirts, animated things. It was huge. California raisins was huge. I'm still gonna stick with K. What? In your defense, which you should have thrown out. That was a song. That had been done. Yeah. Heard it through the great vibe.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, they just uh kind of changed it to an original.
SPEAKER_11You know what, you're right, because if we're sticking to jingle, someone wrote an original.
SPEAKER_03See, I'm fighting for you here, pal.
SPEAKER_11Thank you. I appreciate that. Somebody wrote an original jingle. Give me a break. Give me a break. So yeah, okay. Okay with you on that. Kate, I'm gonna tiebreaker?
SPEAKER_03No tiebreaker. I think it's unanimous that we're going with Kit Kat. Are you gonna go with Kit Kat? I am, just because it's a fucking Kit Kat, dude. I'd rather eat a Kit Kat than Raisins, right? Fuck them raisins. Kit Kat. Kit Kat. Let's go. So today's winners to recap. Oh wait, we have five. We need s six. So we have two. Oh, three and three. Okay, okay. So I'll start the next one. Last round. Last round. Last round.
SPEAKER_11Last round. Last round.
SPEAKER_03Um I got plenty. Oh, so do I. Well, okay. This round. Do you have any of Do you have any eights? Do you have any of uh man? It's hard to say. Pick something. Pick some and I might have something that counters it. Something that's like that.
SPEAKER_11You have to play that because I don't know what that is. Okay, play some and I might.
SPEAKER_03I'm gonna save that one. Okay. Um, I'm gonna go with a a classic here. Because I mean this one's gonna be tough to beat. Alright. Here we go.
SPEAKER_12Little cinnamon gum freshens breath longer than big red. Soak is a little longer.
SPEAKER_10Stay close, little longer. Oh tell me little longer. Longer with a big red.
SPEAKER_09Big red fresh little fresh breath goes on. Make it last a little longer.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Okay, that's uh that's that's uh it's a banger, dude.
SPEAKER_11It's a banger. Now you got big red. So I'm gonna stick with like a product, food product aspect.
SPEAKER_03I'd like to show you the commercials too. You guys can't see this, but I'm showing Kate. I'm sure you probably heard that jingle maybe in your head. But you gotta see what we saw.
SPEAKER_11So here's one Kate might not know either, but folgers in your cup.
SPEAKER_03I almost went with that. Okay. Now, here's your folders. Ready?
SPEAKER_00I'll start folders to brew mountain grown aroma comments.
SPEAKER_01Folgers aroma roasted coffee made from mountain grown beans, richly roasted and finely ground for great waking up with canil diamond.
SPEAKER_03Alright. That's the main part we need to hear right there. Right. That was some extra stuff.
SPEAKER_11Because then the shortened version was later, was it was a quick coffee when it would be a little bit more.
SPEAKER_03So you have folgers or big red. Big red.
SPEAKER_11Big red brushness.
SPEAKER_03Now I almost went with folgers to see what you throw against it, but I went with big red because I thought that was a pretty heavy hitter right there. And what do you say?
SPEAKER_11I'm a coffee guy, so I'm not always gonna go.
SPEAKER_03You go with folders and I got big red.
SPEAKER_04I say folgers.
SPEAKER_03You went with the best part of waking up is folgers in your cup.
SPEAKER_11See now, but can we can we bit other gums? Because I almost went with like fucking juicy fruit.
SPEAKER_03Juicy fruit, right.
SPEAKER_02I almost went with like that. Yeah, but just ski shined up, grab a stick of juicy fruit.
SPEAKER_11Okay, well, that one's still in there. Or double mint. Remember double mint? Double mint. Yeah, that was another one. Look it up. But yeah, like so.
SPEAKER_03So yeah, you should have gone a gum against it.
SPEAKER_11Or another gum against it, and I just wasn't too sure, so I thought maybe let's go with another food product. That way it'll kind of you know play against it. But then again, but then our religion aspect and it's a jingle.
SPEAKER_10A double pleasure, double for you, a double pleasure, double min gum, a double great beat. Yeah, making you real life. Double mints the one for you. Double fresh to choose.
SPEAKER_03I think big red still beats us, but but now they have the both they have the harmonizing.
SPEAKER_02I like this one. Double minka.
SPEAKER_11Okay, can I point out the creepiness of its two twins picking up on two twin sisters?
SPEAKER_12Isn't that a little awkward? I don't know.
SPEAKER_11Is that like would you be a twin dating? I think I would be a twin. Like, would that be weird? Like then it's like you're kind of attracted to your sister-in-law and your wife's kind of attracted to your brother. Cause that's weird. Like, I mean, I don't know.
SPEAKER_03No, because you see enough shit nowadays on like TikToks or reels that would talk about oh, we tried to fool my sister with her husband's twin. They pick that shit up right away. Yeah, you're not.
SPEAKER_11No, they know, because then they also do the one where like the the wives are waiting in the hoodies, the twin wives, and the husband comes from behind and he knows, okay, this one's mine. Yeah. Like you, you know. But still, I just this is just I don't think it's weird. A little bit of a creepy factor.
SPEAKER_03I think if I was a twin, I think it'd be cool to go with twins because me and my brother would be like, hey dude, yeah, let's fucking swap it out tonight.
SPEAKER_11Do the bathroom and be like, wait in the bathroom, give me a minute halfway through, I'm gonna be like, oh, I always want to be a twin, man.
SPEAKER_03Just because like, ugh, we're gonna fucking be one person. You know, and they've made movies of that shit where they go swap out in the fucking bathroom and you go to the next two classes or whatever. Yeah. But I I would love a twin.
SPEAKER_11Or would you travel back in time and sleep with yourself? Well, no, I he's not no, I don't like me, I don't like guys. Well, no, uh that's a I don't like I don't like me, one, and then I don't like guys too.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, come on. But I'm fuck myself. Yeah. Go fuck yourself. Yeah. Really? So you got your uh top six in the middle.
SPEAKER_11So top six, number one was honeycomb, number two, baby back ribs, chilies, number three, mentos, number four, Oscar Meyer, uh, number five, Kit Kat, and number six Folgers. Okay. I think what we should do is next time come up with some more, next episode. We do another six. Yeah. And then we pit those last six to each other, and we get the ultimate jingle. Yeah, and we'll make our bracket we'll keep making it, we'll keep making the brackets and we keep picking it until we get down to what we think might be the best jingle.
SPEAKER_03And maybe we should I like this format of just doing that, but then you get some bangers that are out, but that's okay. Because that's the point of the game. Right. Yeah, everyone there's only gonna be one. Right.
SPEAKER_11And I do kind of like how we're kind of matching either like product like products or like, you know, what you call it. Everybody, if you're out there listening, go on our Facebook, throw some jingles out at us. For sure, don't you? Tell us what you guys think. By the time uh by the time this comes out, yeah, it'll be over.
SPEAKER_03But do it anyway.
SPEAKER_11I'm like now it'll be Christmas.
SPEAKER_03We're gonna get out of here, but this commercial, just to leave you off. I'll try this one. Fuck, man. This is a banger. Even though you're a little younger, you gotta remember this one, dude. I think I might. Hey man. Is that Freedom Rock? Hey man, is that Freedom Rock? Well, turn it up! And it was all these like by this one album.
SPEAKER_11Uh oh. Okay. Okay, so this will be for next time. And we're talking. Dude, I remember this commercial so well.
unknownTurn it down.
SPEAKER_11Some of that's a com- Okay, but I can I can almost sing it. Like, that's kinda hard because it's not technically a jingle, but I remember late like Okay, so before before, you know, you had internet and all that, okay. When you went to bed, when you went to bed, it was news at 10, it was The Simpsons at 11 for an hour, and then in the evening it would be like another hour of MASH, and then it would be all infomercials of like rock compilation. Ballad rock rock compilation.
SPEAKER_04I remember those when I was a kid.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, so all that shit. So again, that's kinda hard because those aren't technically jingles, but I get that they're it was yeah, that's why I didn't throw it out.
SPEAKER_03So you remember, but I remember the like the way they they went in order to. I haven't heard this shit in 34 hours.
SPEAKER_02With black curtains. With the name fire, and I seen a sunshine go away today. We never pass this way again. Come on, people now.
SPEAKER_11I'm telling folks, know it. Those two hippies look so stereotypical, too. It's so great.
SPEAKER_03Plus, you get other songs like this! Dude, this fucking order freedom rock. Guys, thanks for hanging out today, man. We're the humans race. Uh it's fucking fun, huh? Yeah, buddy. Thanks to all our sponsors today. Uh big red. Uh too many to mention. Yep, yep. Babe, you have yourself a great week. And I'll talk to you here soon. Kate, I'll talk to you here in a while. Take care, man. We're the humans race. Go take a nap. Bye.