The Introvert Leader

The 10 Secrets of Senior Leadership (No One Tells You)

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0:00 | 12:52

You think you’re ready for senior leadership until you're in the seat.
This episode breaks down the unspoken realities no one tells you about the top job.

From optics beating substance to the human cost of climbing the ladder, I’m pulling back the curtain and sharing 10 brutal truths I learned the hard way so you don’t have to.

If you want to lead at a higher level without losing yourself in the process, this one’s for you.


Timestamps


**Act 1: How The Game Actually Works**

1:20 - Optics Beat Substance:
Why perception often matters more than performance.

2:32 - Power Dynamics Drive Decisions:
It’s not about ideas, it’s about who holds the power.

3:25 - Value is Wasted Without Context:
Even good work gets ignored if it’s not aligned with the top priorities.

**Act 2: How The System Protects Itself**

4:40 - Wins Are Required for Survival:
Leadership is a “what have you done for me lately” game.

5:32 - Losses Are Hidden or Deflected:
Accountability often disappears at the highest levels.

6:32 - Swim Lanes Are Protected:
Territory becomes sacred, and people get weird about it.

**Act 3: The Human Cost & What's At Stake**

7:44 - Sponsors Sometimes Matter More Than Performance:
Visibility and advocacy often outweigh skill.

8:45 - Egos and Insecurity Are Everywhere:
Bigger titles come with more fear, comparison, and fragile confidence.

9:53 - The Frontline Gets Forgotten:
The farther you get from the work, the easier it is to lose perspective.

10:49 - Some Leaders Lose Themselves Trying to Win:
How people change when status becomes their identity.

12:16 - Challenge For Listeners:
Define your non-negotiables before stepping into the top seat.



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The Myth Of Senior Leadership

SPEAKER_00

Senior leadership is not what you think. Until you sit in the seat, you can't fully grasp what's actually at play. I spent a decade thinking I knew what I could expect once I got the big title, but within a month, I realized I knew even less than I thought. If I had known how to move and operate, I could have been faster and more nimble. If I had known what to avoid like the plague, I could have protected myself better. And if I had understood how the system really works, I could have done more with less. I learned these lessons the hard way, so you don't have to. By the end of this episode, the veil will be lifted and the truths are going to be revealed. And once you hear them, you won't be able to unsee them. Hello, this is your host, Austin Hopkins, and welcome to the Introvert Leader Podcast. If you haven't subscribed or followed, do me a quick favor, click the button so you don't miss the value I'm going to be dropping this year. We got some fun stuff coming up. So without further ado, I want to give you the top 10 secrets of senior leadership. These 10 secrets fall into three buckets or acts. Act one is how the game actually works, act two is how the system protects itself. And act three is the human cost if you're not careful. And I want to start with the first secret. Optics beat substance. Back in the day, I used to sit across from one of our executives. At one point, he pulled my boss aside and gave some feedback about me. And he asked my boss, why is Austin always the last person in the office and the first person to leave? My boss shared this with me and he said, Austin, you need to show people that you're working hard. I looked at him a little puzzled and said, Am I not exceeding every one of my performance metrics? He said, Austin, that's not enough. So a week later, I asked to move to another part of the building. And guess what? I never got that feedback again. The truth is, the better you sound, the better you do in senior leadership. The more visible you are, being in the office, working more hours, taking more meetings, the better you look. Can you spin your situation into a positive? Can you create a narrative or a story that sounds more grand and more important? Can you be seen to fully support your executive team's vision even when you don't agree? In senior leadership, how you appear on the surface is far more important than what lies beneath. Workhorses don't do as well as show ponies. Take it from a guy who had some horses growing up. My tip to you is always walk the walk. But more importantly, you gotta talk the talk. You have to play their game, but protect your peace and your sanity above all else. Secret number two, power dynamics drive decisions. I remember meeting the right hand to the CEO of the company I was working at. He was unassuming, he was quiet, and quite unremarkable to be honest. But within a few months, I realized he was the one making the decisions. All of the other leaders went to him first before they made their big moves. He wasn't their boss on paper, but he had the ear of the king, as they said. He held the power. I used to think that the higher you move up in corporate, that the best idea is usually one that wins, right? But that's rarely the case. It's usually the person with the most juice or power that wins out. Who is the closest to the key stakeholder? Who's the person who pushes the loudest, who pushes the hardest? That's the person that usually wins. And you got to remember, most decisions have already been made behind closed doors. My tip to you is to figure out who the key stakeholder is and become invaluable to them. And then when you want to make something happen, it's much more likely that it's going to come to pass. Secret number three, value is wasted without context. In 2019, I was managing a high net worth concierge banking team. On paper, we were meeting every one of our expectations. So I thought I was looking great in the eyes of our executive leadership team. But guess what? I was wrong. I wasn't solving the biggest problem our company was facing. We had an outflow of assets that were under management. People were taking their money out left and right, and we needed to plug the drain. I had to change my approach and focus on the biggest problem that was keeping our executive team up at night. And the truth is, the executive team has a very specific vision for the company. They have priorities and initiatives that they believe are the key to the company's success. And a lot of times, those aren't even said explicitly. They're subtext. And so the clearer you can get on the real motivations of the executive team, the easier it is to give them exactly what they want. A cool win to you may seem awesome, but it may mean nothing to your CEO if he doesn't care about what you've accomplished. My tip to you is to observe the C-suite and listen for what they actually say and what they actually do. Look at what gets them excited, and then speak and act in a manner that reinforces that. Speak their language, reiterate their words when you're communicating. This shows that you get it. So let's move on to act two. And this is how the system protects itself. Secret number four, wins are required for survival. If you have two quarters in a row without any wins, the executive team starts to wonder can this person handle the job? Questions are asked about your effectiveness, and who knows, they may boot you out in a couple of months. Winning is not just a nice to have at this level. It's expected. You don't have a team to hide behind. So your success depends on a consistent record of wins. Big and splashy wins are always ideal, but smaller, regular wins can also work too. My tip to you is regardless of the headwinds, the challenges you face, always prioritize getting a win every single month. It can be a small win. It can be something that you know your executive team is going to be impressed with. Even if the world is crashing down and everything's going wrong around you, don't let the people at the top see that you're only producing losses. Get some wins. Secret number five. Speaking of losses, they're often hidden or deflected at the senior level. Let's say your company misses their revenue goals this quarter. The head of go-to-market blames the data team for crappy insights. The sales exec blames the head of operations for putting in too many roadblocks. The blame goes round and round and round. No one wants to step up and say, hey, I messed up. At the senior leadership level, no one wants to be seen as having a loss. Again, the appearance of competence and success is the most important. Losses are like hot potato. They're thrown around to someone else as quickly as possible. And in some cases, they're even thrown down the ladder. My tip to you is to remember that perfection is impossible. So losses are gonna happen. And when you do make a mistake, the best course is just to own it. Tell the room why it happened and what you're gonna do to prevent it or avoid it in the future. You're gonna stand out because everyone else doesn't have the confidence to own their losses. Bonus tip get yourself a quick win to follow up as soon as possible. People start to forget those losses if they're immediately bombarded with more of your wins. Secret number six, swim lanes are aggressively protected. I once managed a remote sales team back in the day, and I remember our back office started to interfere with some of my clients. And immediately I felt defensive and I felt like I needed to shoulder check them in order to protect my team of what was mine. I was nervous, I was scared that they were coming over into my lane. What I've observed is that the higher you move up, the more people feel the need to protect what's theirs. They don't want to let go of their power or their territory. I need to get mine, and people better not overstep. Maybe it's a culture thing, maybe it's because the higher you move up, the more exposed you are, the less protection you have. You don't have a team to hide behind. But swim lanes are sacred. And when you do find someone that crosses a lane, people do weird stuff. So my tip is to always get a blessing before you cross into someone else's swim lane and be really cautious about protecting your own lane. A lot of times our tendency is to protect it at all costs because we're worried about what it's going to do to our career, to our reputation. But if someone's really trying to help the company, allow them to step over and just remember that your highest value isn't what you're tasked to do. It's not your swim lane. Your highest value is your expertise and your perspective. So I want to move into act three, the human cost and what's at stake. So secret number seven, sometimes sponsors matter more than your performance. I remember a point in my career where I felt I was on solid ground. My performance was fantastic, every box was checked. But then I watched someone who was better connected with worse performance get the promotion over me. Oh, gut check time, that hurt. I did not like that, but I learned something invaluable that day. And I'll be honest, as an introvert, this one's always been harder for me to grasp. I work better alone and I kind of despise networking. But the reality is when I'm working in a company, I need supporters and sponsors to advocate for me when I'm not in the room. I can't be in every conversation in every room. So finding someone who knows my value and that can brag for me is the key. Sometimes it can be your boss, sometimes it can be a partner you've worked with, but I want you to look and treat anyone at the senior level as a potential sponsor. And my tip to you is to always give your help freely to your peers and share your career goals and ask for help when you need it. This naturally builds sponsors, even without the traditional networking measures or officially asking someone to be your sponsor or your supporter. Secret number eight, egos and insecurity are everywhere. Bigger titles don't eliminate fear, comparison, or fragility. Imagine that you used to be the go-to top performer, but now your hard work doesn't turn the dial anymore. You are constantly comparing yourself to others, and even the slightest negative feedback makes you crumble. It's weird, but the higher you move up, the more likely you are to experience unchecked egos and insecurity. Egos get bigger because we have fewer people to keep us grounded in reality. We have more power. And you might even start to think of yourself as bigger and better than you really are. Someone who can't do any wrong, someone who's perfect. And what's crazy is insecurity also dominates the culture because most senior leaders don't actually produce much, actual value, and they feel like they're on weak footing. They could be fired or demoted at any point. They're constantly comparing their power and status to those around them. And bad stuff starts to happen. My tip to you is to keep your ego in check by constantly remembering where you started. You didn't start out amazing. It took you years to get there. You still make mistakes, you're not perfect. Fight your insecurity by avoiding comparisons and focusing on your unique value. No one can beat you at being more of you. Secret number nine, the people at the bottom are often forgotten. The farther you get from the front line, the harder it is to remember what that experience is like. Imagine you're a leader who used to believe in even value exchange and work-life balance, but now you change your expectations and you want your team to work on the weekends in the name of productivity or meeting a goal or a deadline. Senior leaders have fewer and fewer interactions with the folks at the bottom, the people that are actually doing the work. Their challenges and their day-to-day realities start to slip away, right? They have other things on their mind. Leaders are so focused on their own needs and their goals and their status that they forget about the people they're leading. This causes misalignment, resentment at the bottom, and honestly, it's just poor leadership. So my tip is to find a way to stay connected to those actually moving the company forward, the people who are actually doing the work. Take them out to coffee to check in. Ask them how you can help, mean it, and then actually try to help them. As leaders, we can't lose touch with reality because when we do, we waste our greatest resources. And finally, secret number 10, many leaders lose themselves trying to win. It's really sad, but I used to work for a leader that I respected a ton. And then I noticed she started to talk poorly about the people beneath her. She'd make fun of what they talked like, what they acted like, what they wore. And at first I brush it off because I thought maybe she was having a bad day. And then I noticed a pattern. She really started to believe that she was better than these people. And her words and her actions showed. And the sad reality is that senior leadership changes a lot of people. They move up the ladder, they get the top job, and then they forget where they came from. They take shortcuts, they abuse their power. They take advantage of the people beneath them in order to get more, more money, more power, more respect. They drink the Kool-Aid and they forget that at the end of the day, as a leader, we're responsible for the humans beneath us. They're not resources, they're human beings. So my tip to you is to draw a line in the sand and make yourself a promise that you're not going to change. You're not going to let the power get to your head. You're not going to treat people poorly to protect your rep or to help yourself. You're going to stay humble, you're going to stay grounded, and you're going to maintain the kindness that all of us, regardless of our role, are capable of. So I hope you found those 10 secrets interesting. I know they were really tough for me to learn in the moment. Some of them are not pretty, but that's the reality. Now, I don't share them to discourage you from moving into senior leadership or to tell you it's all bad. There are plenty of great senior leaders out there, but this is the reality for most people that I've met in senior leadership, and I just want you to be aware of what's at stake. So as we wrap up, I want to give you a challenge. I want you to make a plan for your run into senior leadership. Maybe you're already there, but I want you to write down your three non-negotiables. What will you never trade for speed, approval, or optics? When people are talking about you behind closed doors, what do you want people to say? I want to say thank you so much for listening. Make it a great day.

Contributor

Austin Hopkins

Host