Th 6 Emotional States of a Sale

Most sales don't fall over because of price — they fall over because one emotional state never got activated.

In this solo episode, Nicky breaks down the Six Emotional States of a Sale: a framework she's been using and teaching for over 10 years, drawn from real client conversations and sales coaching sessions. Whether you're in a direct sales conversation, trying to close a deal, or working to get buy-in from your team, understanding these six states will show you exactly where things go sideways — and what to do instead.

The six emotional states:

1. Curiosity — how to create it, and why "are you interested?" is the wrong question
2. Empowered — making sure the right decision maker is in the room from the start
3. Trust & Possibility — where most of the work happens, and why it pays off
4. Urgency — the emotional state most often skipped before presenting a solution
5. Value — why this is not the same as price
6. Certainty — the often-missed final step that turns a yes into a confident commitment

Nicky also shares a subtle but powerful language shift: swapping the word "interested" for "curious" in your sales conversations — and why it makes a genuine difference.

Your action from this episode: Think of a recent sale or conversation where you didn't get the outcome you wanted. Walk back through these six states and find the gap.

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Nicky Miklós — Performance with Purpose · Smart Business Growth Podcast

Learn more about Nicky  at nickymiklos.com

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Music by Jules Miklos-Woodley

Transcript

Nicky (00:26)
Hello, hello, you gorgeous human, and welcome back for another conversation with Nicky at Smart Business Growth Podcast. As always, I'm so happy, excited, thrilled to be here with you.

Today, chatting with you about the six emotional states of a sale. I was talking with a client just the other day, and we were reflecting on the conversations that we're having directly with clients — or even potentially with our team — to almost do some self-coaching around: what could I have done differently? Or why did that sale not go through? Or if we look at it from a later perspective, we can even overlay the six emotional states with getting buy-in.

This is something that I learned about — I would say probably 10 years ago — the six emotional states of a sale. And we as humans, as buyers, as consumers, as people that are buying into an idea or handing over our money, our cashola, for services, products, et cetera — we go through six emotional states to get from curious, wondering if it's the right fit for us, or something we can get on board with, all the way through to actually committing. Whether that's committing with effort, committing with dollars, committing with whatever that investment might be.

And remember, investment isn't always just money. It could be investment of time, it could be investment of thinking, it could be emotional investment, physical investment — all of those things play in together.

So today, my friend, I'm going to take you through what those six emotional states are so that you can start to reflect on and think about: am I actually ticking the box when I'm talking to my clients, my team? You can share this with your team members as well. You can look at this as a really great coaching tool, or just a wonderful reflection to think about — perhaps why didn't that sale come off in the end? Or why didn't I get that buy-in and engagement?

So are you ready? Let's dive in.

Emotional State Number One: Curiosity

You would have heard me talk about curiosity all the time, whether it's from a coaching point of view or a sales point of view. One of the biggest pitfalls that I see people fall into is that they try to sell too hard and fast. And what I mean by sell too hard and fast — it's just giving too much information too early on.

People, stop already. We need to not give all of the information. We need to seed some information. We need to ask some questions to establish if that person is in fact curious about knowing more about your product, your service, or what it is that you're sharing.

So again, I'm going to talk about this as the emotional states of a sale, but as effective humans, we can also look at this through the lens of getting buy-in. We as buyers and consumers do not go through to the end of a sale without first being curious — whether we are buying toilet paper, a new jacket, a car, a house. Something piques our curiosity initially that makes us lean in a little bit.

So flipping the script — as the salesperson or the leader, we need to think about: how am I creating curiosity? If you're getting inbound leads, if your marketing is on point and you've got that awesome marketing funnel, that's already taken care of. Your marketing is highly likely creating curiosity and drawing people in.

Most of the people I work with, it's a combination — we're going out to get it when the leads are dry, or there's a combination of the two.

So first emotional state of a sale: curiosity. Don't go in hard and fast with all of the detail up front. Get an understanding and just give them little bits of information. Why might they be interested in listening to what you have to say?

And then — a really good transition question. I hear a lot of people say, "Are you interested in finding out more?" Now I want to encourage you all, instead of using the word interested, I'm all about the subtleties of language to open up a conversation.

Instead of using the word interested — and this might feel a bit weird at first, it did for me — I want you to practice saying: "Are you curious to learn more? Are you curious to hear more?"

Because the word curiosity implies subconsciously openness, but not commitment. Whereas the word interested is so overused by salespeople that as soon as we hear it, subconsciously something in our mind goes, "Okay, I think I'm going to be sold to at any given point."

So this is a bit of an advanced tip if you want to really work on your subtleties of language. Instead of "are you interested to hear more?" — "are you curious to hear more? Are you curious to learn more?" That word can feel really uncomfortable if you're not used to using it. It did for me nine, ten years ago when I started this, and now it's second nature.

So that's your first emotional state of the sale — and the first tip to go with it. Are you curious? And also make sure you lean in with curiosity.

Emotional State Number Two: Empowered

I'm empowered to make the decision. This is linked to being the decision maker.

From a sales point of view, it's really easy to tick this one off because, at the end of the day, if we get six ticks, we get the sale. And that is simply making sure that in your qualifying process — or early on in your discovery process — you are asking the person you're talking to: "Are you the decision maker? Or is there anybody else that needs to be involved in this decision?"

Because how many times do we get to the end of a conversation, the end of a sale, we think everything's on point — and then the person says, "I just need to talk to the marketing manager," or the business owner, or the ops manager, or the other partner, or whoever it might be.

It's really easy to forget to do this. But if you can find out who the decision maker is early on, it means that it's going to be much smoother at the other end of the sales conversation.

And it's an emotional state we need to feel: I am empowered. So I'm first curious, I'm empowered to make this decision — and then we move through to the third emotional state of the sale.

Emotional State Number Three: Trust and Possibility

Now, I've put my own words around this based on what I've observed. And this is a double whammy — whilst it's the third emotional state of a sale, I actually describe it as two words: trust and possibility.

We need to feel that we trust the other person — the person that is selling to us or offering us a service. And possibility — like, what are the possibilities here of how this product or service will help me?

So if I feel a sense of trust for the person or the brand that is selling to me, and you've taken me on a journey to show me what the possibilities are, I'm more likely to say yes at the end of the sale.

Now, trust and possibility is where most of the time is spent. This is where we look at effective questioning. This is where we look at uncovering the need — uncovering what the real pain point is, or the desire, the want — and how much of a good fit your product or service is.

This is really the bulk of it. If we can spend enough time building trust and showing possibility, then the next emotional states will come really, really easily.

So: I'm curious. I am the decision maker. I'm empowered. I feel a sense of trust in the brand or the person, and I can see the possibilities.

Emotional State Number Four: Urgency

The next emotional state is urgency. I have a sense of urgency — or another way to look at this, I'm motivated to actually take action.

Now, this is where a lot — I'll say most — of the sales that don't go ahead have a big opportunity. Because we rush through: we've asked lots of questions, we've uncovered the possibilities, we've built trust — and then we go into presenting a solution. But we don't actually know where they sit in terms of motivation to truly take action.

Think about times where, again, you think it's going to go ahead, you email a proposal — which, by the way, please don't do that. Make sure you try to book another meeting from a meeting and present. Or if you have to email a proposal, use a Loom recording or similar. I'll talk about that another time.

But you know, you've built this possibility and we rush into presenting the solution. We need to pause and actually understand: how motivated are they to take action right now?

When you've emailed that proposal and you don't hear anything back — crickets — and it's confusing because they really bought in — it could be that there's no real motivation or urgency. That emotional state of a sale is not activated at that point.

So we want to make sure that we bake into our sales process a question along the lines of: "Why is now the right time for you to get started with XYZ?" There are different ways you can ask that question, but do not present a solution, do not talk about the specifics of what you do, until you've uncovered what their urgency or motivator is.

And if they're not motivated to buy now, or there's no urgency, then you might hold off on presenting a solution until they're ready.

So we've got to feel a sense of urgency — in other words, motivation to take action.

Emotional State Number Five: Value

Once you've uncovered urgency, the fifth emotional state of a sale is value. We have to see and feel that there is value in what we're investing our time and our money into. If we do not feel that there's value, we're not going to go ahead.

And side note: value is very different to price. But that might be another conversation.

So: I'm curious, I'm leaning in, I'm empowered to make the decision, there's a sense of trust and possibility, there is a sense of urgency to take action, and I see value in what you are putting forward in front of me.

Emotional State Number Six: Certainty

And the sixth emotional state of a sale. So once we get the yes on value, we often think that's the end of the sale. But there's one final emotional state we need to fulfil in order to really close that loop — and that is a sense of certainty.

Think about at the end of your sales conversations: what do you do to fulfil that need, that core need, that emotional state of certainty? Do you send them a confirmation? Do you book in the next meeting? Do you send them a thank you gift or a welcome pack? Do you connect them with other people in your team straight away that will help fulfil those services? In the welcome pack, are there photos and details of everybody in the team that is there to support them?

Really think about how are you creating this sense of certainty for that other person.

When we cover off these six emotional states of a sale, not only do we get the sale — but the other person walks away feeling really good about what they've just committed to and what they've invested in.

Action Step

So my action for you today is to think about a sale recently that didn't come off, or a conversation where you didn't get buy-in, and think through it:

• Did you create curiosity at first?
• Did you take the time to make sure that they were the decision maker?
• Did you take the time to build trust and possibility?
• Did you uncover if there's a sense of urgency to take action?
• Did they see value in what you put forward?
• And did you really close it out by giving them a sense of certainty in the decision that they made?

Oftentimes you're going to find the gap as to exactly why that conversation didn't go as you wanted, or why the sale didn't come off.

Have some fun with this. As always, take it lightly — and I'll see you in the next episode.