Episode 118 - Integrity: Holiness Lived Consistently

Integrity sounds simple—but living it can cost us something. In this episode of Catholic Money Talk, we explore integrity as a virtue: holiness lived consistently. Through Scripture, real-life stories, and practical financial examples, we look at why letting our “yes” truly mean yes matters—not just for our money, but for our souls. 

Transcript

0:00

Paul, Welcome to Catholic money talk, where we talk about all things money and finance, and we try to do it through a lens of being Catholic, where our ultimate goal is to one day be in Heaven with the Lord. I am your host. Paul Scarfone, thank you for being here today while Welcome back to Catholic money talk. Today. We're going to talk about another virtue. We're going to talk about integrity, where we say what we mean, where our yes means yes. But before we do that, let's say a prayer in the name of the Father and of the Son of the Holy Spirit. Amen, Heavenly Father. We thank you for this day. We thank you for all the ways that you love us and all the ways that you bless us. We know that you have an awesome plan for our lives. Lord, please bless us. Bless us in whatever situation or challenge we might find ourselves in, Lord, we trust you. We know that you have an awesome plan for us. Give us the courage to choose the right path, to follow you in everything we do, to use all these virtues that you bless us with Lord God to help us exercise them well. We ask You for Your Holy Spirit Come Holy Spirit. Bless us this day, we ask this all in Jesus name, amen, in the name of the Father and of the Son of the Holy Spirit. Amen. So integrity. You know, integrity is one of those words that sounds simple, but when you really start to think about it, dive into it, when you really start to live it, you realize it can cost you something integrity. It's not just about not lying. It's about alignment. It's about integration. It's about our faith, our words, our actions, our decisions, all pointing in the same direction. Integrity shows up everywhere, how we work, how we manage our money, how we treat people, how we keep our commitments, how we behave when no one is watching. Jesus puts it very plainly in Matthew's Gospel, let your yes mean Yes, and your no mean no. It's a high bar. And if we're honest, it's not always easy. It can be really hard sometimes. So to start, I want to give a little Catholic perspective on integrity, what we believe as Catholics, what integrity is? Integrity is a virtue, right? And I talk about virtues, we bring them up a lot. It's, it's a habit of the heart, right? I've talked about gratitude and generosity. These are all virtues. They're habits of the heart. And, you know, if we think about it, I've had Dr Justin Anderson on my podcast in the past, right? He's a moral theologian, a doctor of moral Theology at the seminary. And back in episode 36 we talked about virtue and how it relates to finances. And Dr Anderson says virtues are are our excellences. And he says, I always tell my students they're sort of like moral muscles, muscles for your soul, but virtues are muscles that you can only use for good things. By definition, they're always good. End quote that was Dr Justin Anderson, so virtues are a muscle. A virtue is a stable habit of choosing the good, right? It's something we practice over time, again and again, until it becomes part of who we are. Virtues are always ordered toward the good. That's why I say a virtue in my simple definitions, is a habit of the heart. And why do we Why do I say that? Well, because a virtue is a habitual and firm disposition to do good. It helps us to not only do good actions once in a while, but to become the kind of person who chooses the good consistently. Okay, a virtue is a practice habit that shapes our character. It's not just what we do once, but it's what we do repeatedly until it becomes our default, until it becomes who we are, until it becomes our character. And that's why virtues matter for finance, because money decisions aren't just math. They reveal and form our habits, our priorities and our character. They really they form our hearts. So if we just think that there's the Catholic Church teaches about many different virtues. There's the three theological virtues, faith, hope and charity. There's four cardinal virtues, prudence, justice, fortitude and temperance. And. And integrity is a virtue that's kind of part of justice. It's sub virtue is the right word, but it it comes from justice, right? From from telling the truth, from not misleading others, for being honest in speech and action. Right? Proverbs 12 talks about the Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy, right? This is all part of justice. Justice is giving others what they are do, keeping promises, honoring contracts and obligations. Again, in Proverbs, Proverbs 20 the just man walks in integrity. Blessed are His children after him. The virtue of prudence, which which also is part of relates to integrity, choosing the good in concrete situations, not cutting corners even when it's tempting. Whoa, I'm going to talk about that a little bit, not cutting corners even when it's tempting. Proverbs, 11, verse three, the integrity of the upright guides them fortitude. Right? That's that's related to integrity, doing the right thing when it costs you something, standing firm under pressure. Proverbs, 10, verse nine, whoever walks in integrity walks securely. And then temperance, right? Just having self control, resisting the urge to justify, exaggerate or manipulate, governing desires for success, money or approval. So all of these, truthfulness, right, part of justice, justice, prudence, fortitude, temperance. Those are our four cardinal virtues. Integrity is what happens when these virtues are lived consistently. So to sum all that Catholic perspective up, integrity is holiness lived consistently. And the reason why I feel it relates so much to justice is because justice is that virtue which relates a lot, from ourselves to others, a lot, a lot, if you if your research justice, there's a lot of relating to others, and that's what integrity. That's the part of integrity I really want to talk about today. So integrity is holiness lived constantly. You know, Billy Graham wasn't Catholic, but he's a great preacher, and a quote that I I had found of his a while ago when I was looking at some integrity stuff, when I was researching the virtue a little bit. And there's a great quote, integrity is the glue that holds our way of life together. What our young people want to see in their elders is integrity, honesty, truthfulness and faith. What they hate the most is hypocrisy and phoniness. So Billy Graham urges us, let's see the let's let let them see us doing what we would like them to do. So integrity is important. So I'm gonna share a little story, a lesson that I learned early on in my adult life. It was early in my career, and I'm very grateful for this lesson, for in particular, learning it when I did so when I first got out of college. Let's see, I was 20, about 22 at the time when, when I got married, and I worked in sales for a countertop manufacturing company. We sold countertops to building developers, big builders putting up large, massive housing developments. And there was one very large community that I really wanted to get into to talk to them about them becoming my customer. It was, it was gated. It was an active adult community, 55 and older, and there was a security card at the gate, and you had to get past him to get to the sales office and the design center. And I knew the people in those buildings were the people that could connect me to the decision makers of picking which vendors, like myself, like a countertop vendor, who they would choose as one of the subcontractors to build this development. And at the time, my sales manager, very holy Catholic man, still is a very dear friend of mine. He had told me that he tried multiple times to get into that development and never been able to get past the gate. So one day, I decided I'd give it a shot. So here I am, 22 years old. I pull up to the gate. Security guard asked why, why I was there. I told him I wanted to go the sales office. He asked me why, and I said, my parents, they're getting into their mid 60s, and they'll need to move at some point. And this was true, but. My parents were getting older, but it wasn't the real reason I was there, but that's what I said. He opened the gate, gave me directions to the sales office. I drove into the community, got to the Design Center in the sales office, went in, introduced myself, and I met design people. I had a few good conversations, and I remember leaving that meeting very hopeful. I was so excited that maybe I'd be able to follow up and get some business right. I had names, I had I had a path forward. I felt very proud of myself. I had gotten past the gatekeeper. Well, later at that day, at the end of my day, during my daily debrief with my manager, I mentioned to him, Hey, I got into that development. And I made an introduction, and he was surprised. He asked, how'd you get in? I've never been able to do that, so I told him the story. He looked at me and he said, You lied. I said, Well, I technically didn't lie, right? I thought I was pretty cute, pretty clever. He paused, and he looked at me. Just said, you misled them. You got through under false pretenses, and we don't do that here. And then he said something that really stuck with me. You can't follow up with them. We're not going to pursue that business that way. And in that moment, I was so upset. I felt like a little kid who had just gotten yelled at by his dad. I was embarrassed and I was disappointed, but as I sat with it, as I pondered, as I drove home, I mean, I was disappointed, but something shifted, and it hit me, I wasn't in trouble, like I wasn't in trouble. I got scolded. I was corrected. I was rebuked, right to use a good pastoral word, I was rebuked, and the more I thought about the more my disappointment. It melted away because I saw he was 100% right. Why would I throw away my integrity for a slight chance at business? I mean, even a guaranteed chance at business. Why would I want to win that way? And for me, that lesson learning it early in my my career was a huge blessing. Being a man of good character and integrity is more important to me. It was than it is now. Was more important than being number one on a sales chart, and I've struggled with that my whole life, because we do like recognition. We do like to be on the top of the sales chart, particularly when we find ourselves working maybe harder than everybody else. So let's talk about the world's vision of version of success. You know, unfortunately, the lesson I just spoke about, it isn't reinforced often in the world, and I can think of multiple managers that I've had since then that probably would have applauded and encouraged my behavior. That's why I'm so grateful. I learned that early on. Thank you, Jesus. Recently, I was reading a it was online. I saw an article pop up and it said, What did headline? It said, employees getting in trouble for using AI to forge receipts. I was like, Are you kidding me? So I start, I start reading this article. I didn't get through the whole thing, but I saw where this was going. They I've, you know, I was an employee. I had a corporate credit card, and I'd use it, and there were certain expenses that I have to show itemized receipts for. And so employees now are using AI to create fake itemized receipts to cover up unauthorized or unallowed spending on corporate cards. I was I was I was shocked, but then not shocked, because sometimes I run into these things I would never have thought of that it's so far beyond from what I would think of. But unfortunately, in this world, through my life, I have met people that looked for shortcuts, that look for ways to make life easy, more pleasurable, whatever it might be, things that they could get an easy way without working hard for it. And so it doesn't shock me, and it's unfortunate. And I saw things like this when I worked in banking. You know, if you work for any large corporation, they they have metrics, they have charts, they have measurements that they use. And when it's the organization's big enough, for sure, there's people there trying to game the system, and I can say that with confidence that they are, and that's just due to our right, the fall of man, just concupiscence, right? That's the word. That's why. So there's people trying to game the system, fabricating results, cutting corners for financial gain, and I saw it in. In a lot of years of working. And what made it even more frustrating, particularly at the bank, was knowing that, knowing we had oversight teams, there was senior leadership, they often knew that there that this was happening, and they tried to stop it, but they admitted they couldn't prevent it all, so they built compensation plans and metrics that assumed a certain level of dishonesty, just to try to make sure it didn't cost the organization too much, then you had people like me and many others doing the right thing, doing the hard, honest work, creating value for clients, generating real revenue for the place that we worked. And it was frustrating because integrity didn't always seem to be rewarded, at least here right in finances, but we're playing a longer game. I remember moments of real success earned through diligence and hard work, right? Like I remember my customers loved me, and sometimes there was just great opportunities I sourced that ended up in real big success as business results. And some co workers would ask me, quietly, they'd come up to me, they'd say, what's the trick? How'd you get it as if integrity and effort couldn't possibly be the answer. It blew their minds that someone would work with deep integrity. It blew their minds sometimes, sometimes they'd call me crazy and too honest and too good. But it's not right. It's who I want to be. It's who we all want to be. We all want to be people of integrity. We all want to be holiness lived consistently. That's what we're shooting for. And I mess up. I'm not holy all the time. I'm not perfect all the time, but, but this is these are the reasons we have to practice. Right when those temptations come, we have to practice. It's that muscle, the muscle of the soul, the habit of the heart. We need to practice these things. It's so important. There's a movie I love a man for all seasons. And it's a great story. It's, it's about the story of St Thomas. More, and there's this courtroom scene at the end. So St Thomas, more, if you don't know the story, he's, this is when the King of England says, well, he want he was married, he wanted to get divorced, and he asked the pope for a permission to divorce or annulment. The Pope said no, and the king said, Fine, I will just start my own church. And this is when the Church of England started. The pope, the king broke the church off from Rome and said, I'm going to be the head of the church, and I'm going to give myself permission to have a divorce. And he made all the nobles basically pledge to Him as King, as the head of the church. And St Thomas More refused to make the pledge. He didn't speak out against the king. He just refused to make the pledge, and it bothered the king so much. St Thomas, more was his most trusted advisor. And so there's this, you know, spoiler alert here a little bit. There's the scene where St Thomas is on trial, and he has said nothing. He has said nothing, and and the the judges are accusing him of silence is condoning the accusations, and they bribe this sir Richie Rich, Richard rich, comes in and lies, gives false testimony about Thomas More, falsely accusing him that he has spoken against the king. He has said, The King is not the head of the church and and is therefore, you know, guilty of treason, or whatever they were calling it. And after he delivers this false testimony under oath, and he's walking away, and St Thomas, more notices the chain around Rich's neck, and he sees the emblem of whales on it, and he says to Richard, it profits a man nothing to give his soul for the whole world. But for whales, that line hits hard, hits hard in the movie, and it it hits hard. I use that line sometimes, either out loud or in my head, sometimes when, when situations come up like but for whales, integrity. Integrity is it's not about optics, it's not about appearances. It's about who you are when it costs you something. Thomas More lost. He lost everything, his position, his freedom, his life, but he did not lose his soul. That's the perspective we need when we talk about money, success and how integrity relates to those it and it's never too late. You know, a few months ago it was, I think, November 18, 2025, it was the mass readings for the day. I went back in my prayer journal. Look at this. There was a reading from Maccabees. And there was an old man. He. Who the? Oh, I forget the whoever invaded Israel. They were trying to convince them to violate the law, and they said to this old man who was well respected, look, you're near the end of your life. Just help us with these younger guys, like just pretend to give in so that the others will. And the old man looked at them, he said, Are you kidding me? I've lived my whole life abiding by the law. Why would I violate it? Why would I even pretend to violate it, just to save what few years I have left? And he refused, and he was killed. See he had lived a holy life. He had lived holiness consistently, and he was not going to throw it away at the end. And then the Gospel reading that day was about Zacchaeus, right? Zacchaeus is kind of the opposite story. He lived his whole life without integrity. He cheated people, he took more than he should have. But when he encountered Jesus, Jesus, Jesus changed everything. Zacchaeus made restitution. He choose. He chose a new way of life. And the reflection for the day is my good friend, Deacon art, who is on the podcast back in I think it was maybe October, and we Deacon arts, favorite prayer every day is, Lord, what are we going to do today? And we talked about that, but, but that day, the reflection Deacon Art said in this beautiful line, it's never too late to live with integrity, and it's never too late to begin to live with integrity. That's hope, whether you've lived with integrity your whole life, or whether you're realizing now that there are areas where you've compromised. It's never too late. Integrity. It shows up around our finances. There's a need for it around our finances, not just in the stories I explained with opportunities to earn, but when we actually have the money. So here's a couple very practical ways that we need to lean on integrity. We need to exercise that muscle, that habit, to build it up so that it's consistent, right? We are looking for holiness consistently throughout our life. One way it's let's, let's talk about liabilities, the ones we we don't like, right? Borrowers, slave to lender, paying people back. When we say we will. If you've got a bill to pay, you pay it. You said, I will pay you this. You pay it, you borrow money, you have to pay it back. That's being a person of your word, having integrity. Integrity shows up with our budget, being honest in our budgeting, right? There's something about being having integrity and being integrated with all of these virtues, right, integration, integrity, using all these virtues to be good stewards. But in our budget, do we actually have integrity? Do we have the proper order? Are we spending money in the places we ought to be spending. Do we first give to the Lord? Do we then budget our needs, then budget our wants? Right between our needs and our wants is our liabilities, things that we just spoke about, that that we've pledged to pay, right our wants, and then after that, we're trying to create a lifestyle that has overflow so we can bless those around us, because that's what holiness does. It's not just for ourselves. We're not just trying to be holy for ourselves. We're trying to be holy to be people of virtue, to bless and impact those around us, to build God's kingdom here. So are we being honest in our budgeting? Is is our budget a reflection of our heart? How about communication integrity with communicating with our spouse? Are we being honest with our spouse? Are we showing integrity? Are we doing what we said we would do with our finances, whether it be a shared goal that we have, or spending limits we have set for ourselves. Or are we sneaking hiding things from our spouse, throwing out that receipt before we get home, making a purchase and hoping they don't know about it or find out about it? We need to be practicing integrity. We need to be actively using integrity when we're communicating with everyone, particularly with our spouse. And then let's talk about those cutting corners. Right? Don't cut corners. There are no shortcuts, right? The phrase works. Smarter, not harder. That's true if you're using integrity, absolutely, please be efficient. Please, please be efficient. I think efficiency, I would like to think that's also a virtue, right? Not wasting time, but doing what we ought to be doing, but finding good ways to accomplish things in a less amount of time, but not cutting quarters, not cheating, not putting our best forward. And the last part, just practical ways integrity shows up in our finances is don't justify small compromises, right? The Lord says, if you are good in small things, you know, if I if I can trust you in small things, I will trust you in bigger things. I think exercising virtues goes the same way. If we're not exercising our virtues in small situations, are we going to exercise virtue in big ones? How would we be able to if we haven't been practicing? So we need to use virtues. We need to use integrity in every level of our life, every level, every depth, right in our finances and there's a cost right, trying to live a holy life and get to heaven. There is a cost integrity may cost you something. Maybe it could cost you a promotion. Maybe it would cost you some opportunity, or some opportunity to think you could get if you just bend integrity a little bit, and it may cost you recognition, you might not make the top of the chart, but I promise you, it gives you peace. The world may reward shortcuts, but God rewards faithfulness trying to exercise holiness consistently. So I want to leave you with this encouragement. Integrity doesn't guarantee wealth. It doesn't guarantee recognition or ease, but it does guarantee something far more valuable, a clean conscience, freedom, trust, peace and the ultimate, a heavenly reward. God made us to know Him, love Him and serve Him in this life, so we can be happy with him forever in the next part of the way we do this part of the way we know love and serve Him in this life is through exercising the virtue of integrity. So where is God inviting you to choose integrity right now? Maybe it's over ease in some area of your life, where is he asking you for your yes to really mean yes. So let's pray. Let's pray for the courage to live an integrated life, right, full of integrity, where we are the same always. We are constantly pursuing holiness, whether or not someone's watching lives where our faith and our actions align, let us pray for the courage for that. So there you have it, integrity. I hope this has been helpful. Thank you for joining me today. God bless you. Thank you for listening to Catholic money talk. I hope you join us again next time, please click Subscribe on your podcast app to get notified of new episodes. God bless you and have a great day. Foreign and.