70. Survivor Science Soundbite: Building a Relentless Mindset for Stroke Recovery

In this episode, we dive into Relentless by Tim Grover, a powerful book on the mindset of high performers like Kobe Bryant and Dwayne Wade, and connect its lessons to stroke recovery. Highlights include:

• The Three Archetypes: Coolers, Closers, and Cleaners—what they mean and how they align with stages of recovery.
• Embracing Discomfort: Why stepping outside your comfort zone is essential for breakthroughs.
• Consistency is Key: Building habits and pushing just a little further every day.
• Know Yourself: How self-awareness and acceptance fuel resilience and recovery.

We also discuss Limitless by Jim Kwik and how reading fuels cognitive and emotional growth.

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Transcript

0:04

welcome back to another episode of survivor signs, soundbites. This week, we are kicking off with a. A couple of books I've been reading over the weekend that I really enjoyed, that I think are pertinent to stroke recovery. Really great topics, really great books, highly recommend both of them. Uh, but I want to go over one in particular this week. I want to talk about. Relentless by Tim Grover. It's uh, an essential book on mindset. And what it takes to really. I don't know, it's not about stroke recovery. It's more about athletic performance, but I think there is a big correlation between the two. A number of chokes are hours that I've talked to. Some are former athletes somewhere way, former athletes. But there is a mindset. There is a. Sort of mental focus, mental discipline, if you will. Just, I guess that is what mindset is really. But yeah. Uh, Relentless by Tim Grover. Great book, highly recommended. It is about sports. It is about Kobe Bryant, uh, Dwayne Wade, a couple other individuals that Tim Grover has worked with over the years. But there are some main points that I think are really relevant and worth talking about. I know this time of year is tough. Hopefully for you. It is not the case. You're just able to relax. Look forward. See where you want to improve going into the new year as a survivor. But yeah, let's dive into the book a little bit. They, you know, kind of to kick things off. Tim Grover talks about three sort of archetypes of performers. And you can kind of correlate these two stroke servers, you know, however you want. So there's coolers, closers, and cleaners. And coolers are dependable, but they play it safe. Now I've been guilty of all three of these phases throughout my show coverage journey. You see me now? And he may not think that, but believe me. I started at the very bottom. Paralyzed on the entire right side of my body, paralyzed after the Ms. Diagnosis on the entire left side in a wheelchair for about a year and a half. Probably close to two years before I could really walk comfortably regularly. And that might even be on the. The low end and it wasn't until almost a year three, where I started very lightly. Uh, walking slash running, jogging, getting into running. But I have progressed ever since. And so all of these phases, I'm not unfamiliar with, so I want to go through them. But again, the cooler is the dependable, but they play it safe. Often requiring some direction and avoiding high stakes. This is important, certainly in the beginning for any stroke survivor. You've survived as stroke. You're lucky to survive a stroke. I know. I feel that way. We all feel that way generally. And it is smart to be safe in the beginning because you certainly don't want to be. Taking any unnecessary steps backwards because you're probably going to happen naturally. So when you think about that, that makes sense. We probably all kind of start in that cooler mentality place. The next one is closers and closer to perform well under pressure, they deliver results, but they need external motivation to Excel. I don't know that I ever needed that, but I think we probably all go through this phase to some degree as well. Like we want to show people that we can do it. You know, I don't think we want to do it for the praise, but it certainly doesn't hurt to have a little praise and pat on the back, along the way. And that kind of ties into the third one, which is a cleaner. Which is. Sort of how I identify. I probably a lot of us do, which is, you know, the relentless individual who goes above and beyond. They thrive in discomfort. They set their own standards for greatness. You know, that's really, when you get to that phase of stroke recovery. You're starting to make progress. You kind of own your path, you know? It's not easy. No, it's hard work. Other people do not know this. But it is a good mentality to have because. You really not battling anybody else. It's not out proving people right or wrong. It's really about. How can you be the best version of yourself? So. You know, again, these it's a really good book. You don't have to be into sports. I think the correlation is significant and I think it's just a really good read. I think you can gain a lot of insight from it. And I think a. You know, It's a good motivating read. If you're looking for a little motivation during the holidays, you're feeling down, you want to improve. Certainly worth a look, if you're a stroke survivor, trying to get better at trying to improve and recovery. It may not be for everybody. It's just one book of many books. There are tons of books out there. And I think. You can gain something from anything you read, if you want to Beverly enough But I do think the cleaner mentality is essential for show coverage and building resilience. I think it does take time to get there. It's a non-obvious thing perhaps. And again, it takes time to build up to that. But again, in this episode, we'll go through a couple of chapters, some key principles to start the week to think about. You know, I just want you to see where you can take some of these principles. You know, go get the book, read the book, support Tim Grover and the publishing company. It's a great book. And, you know, uh, like I said, I think it's just good stuff to think about. And, uh, yeah, let's hop into some of the main points for this episode and we'll wrap it up. Uh, later this week I did finish the book, but in, in order to keep these episodes under 30 minutes, these quicker survivor side and sound bites. Yeah. You know, uh, I'll wrap it up at the end and. And the end of the week. And then this Wednesday, I do have a full episode being released, uh, which is really a good episode. I think you'll enjoy it. Uh, with Rachel Abassi I believe is her name. I have to. I'm so terrible. She has some, uh, I think she had a different name on our website, so apologize for the confusion in there, but. Got a full episode with her. We'll get all the details. In there. And, uh, again, she's actually been on Bill's podcast. I think she'd been on a number of podcasts before you might've seen her or heard about her. She has our own show called recovery daily podcasts. Awesome show worth checking it out, but she's got a very interesting and similar story to me. Anyways. Uh, so popping back into this episode in particular, you know, again, some things to think about. As we start the week and kick things off, going into the holiday season, things are probably getting stressful. Overwhelming. Try to take a step back. This is just some stuff to think about in your downtime in your free time. But really, you know, chapter one kicks off with going, you keep going when everybody else is stopping. You know, I think there is a balance. I was always, I think this is pertinent because if you're a showcase of ever really challenging yourself or wanting to challenge yourself or trying to get better, There certainly is a balance right in the beginning. I tried to do too much. I think a lot of us do. So it's balancing what works best for you knowing your body, learning your body. How can you do things with. You know, you want to push yourself, but not too hard. Certainly you want to be safe. But I think there's important things to know about keep, when you keep going. When everybody else is stopping or telling you to stop, that is a big one. There. I think a lot of people don't understand. And again, Each person is different. But cleaners. You know, when you look at this book, cleaners, don't stop. It just success. They reset and aim higher. You know, for me, I think about walking, you know, I started walking, obviously I went from the wheelchair to the Walker, to the cane, to actually walking with the AFO, to them, walking without the AFO. And honestly, I wasn't, I didn't stop there and I never thought I'd get into running. I hated running my whole life. But one day, I kind of just said, you know what, let's give this a go. Let's see what we can do. And that really, you know, made me aim higher than I started going. And I was like, oh, this isn't terrible. And I started tracking things and I started getting motivated and I found some support on out on X of all places collaborate. Uh, you. Not collaborated, but met some other runners. Who, you know, we're just encouraging. And that really was helpful to me because I was like, okay, yeah, let's keep going. And I just kept going up going out, showing up every day. Couple of miles, couple more miles, couple more laps. You've heard me say this over and over. I just kept staying in the neighborhood cause I want them to be safe. I didn't want to be far from home. I didn't want to go on some trail run. I want it to be. Accessible. If anything went wrong. Close to home. I just kept doing one more lap. And so I think that for me, showed I can make progress. It was very motivating. But yeah, I pushed, I continue to push further than I ever thought I would push. And so, you know, take from that what you will, but I think that you could take that lesson. I learned. And apply it to your own situation. Whether it's walking, try to walk 10 more feet. W even if you're with a cane or with a Walker, just try to go a little bit further each day. I know it sounds silly and mundane, and you've probably heard it all before. But just give it a whirl, you know, try what makes sense for you. And I do encourage you to know your body be safe, but also. Be mindful of the people around you. I don't think they're not cheering you on, but a lot of times people will say, just take it easy, just take it easy. Like, you know, you can just take it easy, but also know yourself, learn about yourself and, you know, can you go 10 more feet today? Safely super important. You know, and then, so that's kinda the key point from chapter one. Later on in chapter three, it's like knowing exactly who you are. And what does that mean? So in the book, cleaners embrace their strengths and their flaws and they fuel it to. You know, they use that to fuel their drive. You know, when it comes to show recovery. Acceptance is key. There is no magic pill to reverse things. Knowing where you're at, knowing where you want to go is super, super important, acknowledging your current state so that you can, we, and we've talked about this in a number of different ways, but it's really like. Assessing where you're at, knowing where you want to go and then figuring out what are the steps to get there. Super important. You know, the stuff can change, but you should have them, at least in a pot, you. You know, you should have them sorta laid out, but they can always change. That's a big thing too. You accept where you're at the reality where you're at, but then, you know, build the steps and the pieces to get to where you want to go. You know, when I think about the challenges that I've had a lot, I think we all have whether they're financial, whether they're Emotional, whether they're physical, obviously a lot of us with the physical, a lot of us with the emotional, many of us with financial, like it's not an easy thing. I think there's a lot more to that. Actually, and just to tie it into the other book that I mentioned at the top, uh, is another book called limitless by, uh, shoot. Uh, I know who it is because I've been reading it Jim quick, I believe is the author of limitless and that's, you know, Another great book, very similar things on mindset. Obviously you might've heard of Mindset the book by Carol Dweck. Also a good book, lots of great books on mindset. I think. All these books are great to read. First of all, there's cognitive benefits to reading. So don't listen to everybody out there who says, oh, read one book and apply everything. I mean, that, that does make sense. But do what makes sense for you? All these books, you can never go wrong with a book. I don't know. I love books. I love listening to the books, reading books. When you know, whenever I have time, you know, I do a lot more audible now versus physical reading. It's just easier. For me because you know, when I'm working out, I can actually, most of the time now I can actually just work out and listen to a book, but sometimes I do need music and that's, you know, that's okay. It's not for everybody. But again Going back to knowing exactly who you are and where you want to go. I think a question for you this week is. How can you accept where you're at today and what is the next step you want to take? I think that's super important to ask yourself almost daily, certainly weekly. You know, it's hard to make progress. If you don't have some sort of goal and know where you want to go and what you want to do. Obviously, we all want to get better. Right. But that will just better mean you got to break that down. And I think, you know, it's, there's just. A lot to it. It's not always so clear. I think another big part of this, not only do you have to kind of acknowledge where you're at, know who you are, know where you want to go. Embracing, what is uncomfortable is a really big piece of this too. I think a lot of us in the early days probably. Probably a, for lack of a better word, have to embrace this. Unwillingly. I know for myself at inpatient rehab, it was a real eye-opener and you'd get really. Whatever level of discomfort or uncomfortableness, that's not a word. Yeah, things are good. Things get uncomfortable pretty quick after stroke and you really. I don't know, maybe you're lucky, but I didn't really have a choice. And. It was uncomfortable, honestly, being around nurses, being in a hospital, not being able to walk everything. Oh, it's stroke. Really? For me, my experience was uncomfortable. And that really looking back, taught me to embrace the discomfort. It also taught me how to kind of ball F more at myself and just like. The sheer ridiculousness of some of the things that you experienced as a stroke survivor are kind of funny. I mean, they're sad, but they're kind of funny. And again, the only way through, only way around it is through it. I mean, I don't know. I don't think there's really an option to do anything, but embrace the discomfort of being uncomfortable. But discomfort again is really necessary for the breakthroughs. I can go back and look at each year. And again, we're coming up on my five-year, uh, stroke anniversary probably later this week, actually. And, uh, or early next week. And. You know, like I said, discomfort is necessary for breakthroughs and looking back every point. That was uncomfortable when I pushed myself a little bit further. Those are where the breakthrough started to happen. It can be really. Challenging difficult. Frustrating, annoying. Knowing when to push yourself how to push yourself. Again, I just, I look back and I wish there were things that I knew sooner. I wish there were tools and access to things I had sooner. Uh, kind of the reason I do this podcast and a lot of survivors do these podcasts and really share information, whether it's social media. You're a content creator. You're on Tik TOK. You're on Instagram. You're on Facebook, wherever, whatever. I think a lot of us share these things because there are things that we wish we knew sooner. Because it is a process and sometimes. I think it is true. There's a combination, things appear, uh, seemingly magically or for seemingly no reason. When you're ready and you need to know them, but also I could look back and say, gosh, I wish I knew this sooner. Like, There are definitely things like the breath work that I always talk about. I certainly wish I was more aware of that and really understood. Just some of the benefits, you know, whether it was cognitive brain fog and dealing with focus after stroke and resting the body and sort of relaxing the mind. So many things with breath work I could have been doing while I was physically unable to walk. That would have been helpful. It's still great that I learned it later. Better than never. For sure. You'll never hear me go against that. But again, Just little things that I wish I knew sooner. You know, when I think about discomfort, the only story that comes up to me is really. I was right-handed. I am right-handed. I am right-side effected. When I was in inpatient rehab, I could tell you, I think we can all agree. When you're debilitated and disabled on the right side of your body, and you do not have full use of motor function with your hand. There are things that are difficult. That really, I'm not going to go into it. Cause I've talked about it a number of times, but you know, There are things you can't do that you wish you could, that are embarrassing. Unsettling, weird. Uncomfortable named the agitate. Yeah. I mean, it always comes back to. For lack of a better word. The restroom situation, uh, is probably you learn quickly. That you no longer have an option to be a certain way to be. Privacy goes out the window. Uh, you need help with things your family's not always there. Your Wayforest husband is not always there to help you at every moment. Certainly not in my case. A lot of times my wife was around. But many times she was not, uh, because she did not live in inpatient with a, my, you know, When you're in name, patient, uh, my kids were at home with my wife. She would come visit almost every day. But you are humbled and you just sort of learn to embrace the discomfort. It's a part of life. It's not the best part, but it's. You learn quick, you learn. All right. Now I've got to get to work because I do not want this to be the case for a long period of time. I want this to be. I want it to never happen, but now that it's happened and now that I have no choice the sooner I can learn to address these things and fix things the better. So, yeah. Uh, it's a lot of things. Again, this book by Tim Grover, relentless is a really good read, highly recommended. A lot of it applies to sports. Obviously, Tim is an athletic. Uh, coach trainer. Not really trainer, but he works with high performing athletes. And I think. Stroke recovery. I've talked about this a lot is really the way I attack it. The way I would recommend to somebody is to look at athletes who want to be high performers. Because it's the only way to really. Make the biggest strides in improving is to take sort of big, safe chances. But you have to push yourself because nobody else is going to push it again. There's no magic pill. I wished there was there's a lot of tools and technology available to us now that wasn't even available five years ago. And it's all very helpful, but you got to put in the work. And the more work you put in the better, the results. Although I will preface that with saying you cannot do it all at one time, the more you're able to do. Slow and steady sort of does kind of win this race for a lack of a better analogy, but. Believe me, I learned the hard way. You cannot do everything at once. Yeah. So again, Uh, just to wrap up this episode because we're already at the 20 minute mark, uh, you know, check out that book, check out limitless by Jim quick two great books. I highly recommend. Recovery is all about consistency, embracing the challenges, challenging yourself, challenging your mindset, challenging your mind. Battling your own brain. A lot of times in recovery. It's how do you overcome the frustrations, those moments where you're. Sick of it. You know, I can only keep saying the more you put in the more you challenge yourself, the more times you get up, the more times you fight back. The better the outcome. So when hopefully you go check out these books. You know, I definitely recommend you. You think about these things. Reflect on applying these principles. How can shift your mindset in recovery? If you're somebody out there still trying to work, still trying to grind. You know, get better. I think what it really comes down to too, in a lot of things, just to kind of tie it all back together for both books. It's like, it is about mindset. It is about. Having an being unwilling. To accept. Good enough. Now there are points where you can accept good enough for a certain thing, but I think you might want to come back and revisit that. Because good enough to simply isn't good enough at the end of the day. Why not try to achieve everything, you know? And get to the level that you really want to get to and then push yourself. Further. I know this sounds a lot like David Goggins. And a lot of the big people out there, but they're not wrong. You have more to give to your recovery, to your, to yourself, to your family, to your loved ones. I mean, think about all the people that support you along the way. Don't you owe it to your, to yourself first and foremost, but you also owed to them. Because they've been helping and they supported and whatever. Sometimes they go away. Sometimes they don't. Right. But like, They put in time and effort and you should work for yourself, but also. It's a way of giving back to show everybody that it's, it is been more wild investing their time, their money, their energy, whatever they've given, whatever they've done for you. I think it's important. And you know, I encourage everybody to share your story. Again, If you're interested. Uh, check out the center, you know, go over to survivor science.com. There's joined the center button. It'll bring you to a page, kind of run you through. What everything looks like inside the center. I'm running a black Friday special still, uh, through Christmas day. If you do like what you see at the when you click the button at the top of the website. So. Join the center. If you like what you see, if you want to join a community online of stroke survivors that are able to ask questions, you have questions every day, like every day. It doesn't matter what type of question, doesn't matter, what hour you're on there. It's all. It's if you're familiar with the old AOL chat rooms and things like that, it's a space. And a safe space and it is a paid space because, you know, I just run it differently. I found a lot of Facebook groups to be kind of just lackluster. Uh, it's great meeting other people on social media throughout. You know, We had a great content meetup last week. I mean, part of this community, it is a paid community. You can ask questions at any point. Any time I'll get back to another survivor might hop in and give their 2 cents. It's really to build a supportive online community where we can ask questions, communicate. But it doesn't always have to be on zoom. Uh, we do have a couple of zoom meetups, at least one weekly call. Some office hours, the monthly meetup for everybody. I'm trying to build some workshops again, we just had to create our workshop last Friday. That was really great wound up talking about podcasting. Everybody's seen broadly interested in podcasting. So we went there and I think we're going to do more about that in the future. Kind of break that down for everybody. And these workshops and cohorts and things like that. They're worthwhile there. They're learning new skills. You know, for myself, I love learning. I love teaching. I love helping other people learn things that you don't for me. Sometimes I forget, like these things that I've learned over the, my 42 years on the earth, like I forget not everybody knows these things. Like it's. It's a pretty common thing amongst creators. It's like, oh, I don't share X, Y, and Z because I think everybody knows it. And all of a sudden. Everybody shows up and like nobody knows anything and they want to learn. So like, I think we all have a lot to share a lot to learn from each other. So I encourage you to check out the center. I know this is a little long-winded. Plug for the center and survivor science, but it is something I'm trying to build and grow. I think our community of stroke survivors really needs a space. That has a little bit away from social media where it's safe and secure, and it's not filled with spam and robots and. And garbage post and medical cure this and medical. If this is real people in a real online community. Sharing real stories, real information, wanting connection. You know, again, we have zooms are lots of strokes of our communities and non-profits out there all connecting and doing meetups on zoom and things like that. Again, this has that component, but it also has. You know, figure building a course, some thinking about building. I want to build things that make sense for Shokes fibers. Like what are the things that you want to learn? What are the things that beyond this podcast that we can go more in depth than, and you know, all the members of the community, they get access for free to the workshops. We can do workshops where we invite people externally. And charge a little bit of fee. Again it's not a huge. Some money, but it is some money to join uh, getting abused, the black. Uh, the co coupon code. BF 50 at checkout. It's a 50% off your first three months. Of the center. By survivor science, or you can actually sign up for the annual membership, become a yearly member at 30% off, which is a great deal. First year. 250 bucks. I mean, that's like three copays at the doctor, so I think it's worthwhile. I hope you'll join us, check it out. And, uh, Yeah, I guess we'll leave it there for this episode. Again. Check out the books. Run. This by Tim Grover and Jim quicks limitless, I think both are great reads. And, uh, we, uh, we'll be back on Wednesday with a full episode and then we'll see you again on Friday. Erupt the week. Hope you enjoyed this episode.