Dear Daughters of God

Dear Daughters of God - Ep. 15 - "Ministering Miracles Save the School"

• Stephanie Eccles • Season 1 • Episode 15

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Join host Stephanie Eccles on 'Dear Daughters of God' as she welcomes Melissa Withy, senior vice president and general counsel for Big D Construction, who shares her remarkable transition from construction law to becoming a community hero. Living in Virginia, Melissa’s strong expertise in construction law proved to be a divine answer to Stephanie's prayers when facing a $565,000 budget overage in a school construction project. Witness how Melissa's volunteer work and their budding friendship resolved a critical construction crisis, ensuring Excelsior Academy's middle school was completed on time and on budget. Explore themes of faith, divine intervention, and the power of ministering to others through this heartfelt narrative. Don’t miss the inspiring conclusion where the Lord’s hand is revealed in the details of our lives and the enduring bond formed between these remarkable women.

Thanks for listening! I'm on Instagram as deardaughtersofgod. Follow me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/invites/contact/?i=1iyjqx0cq4kbk&utm_content=qr66nqv

Stephanie test:

Welcome to Dear Daughters of God. My name is Stephanie Eccles, your host I'm a school administrator, natural storyteller, and I am a daughter of God. I tell the stories of our lives from the perspective of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

This is Episode 15, Ministering Miracles Save the School, Melissa Withy's journey from construction law to community hero.

Microphone (Samson Q2U Microphone)-9:

Welcome, dear daughters of God. I address you that way because that's what you are to Him. To our Heavenly Father, you are dear.

Stephanie test:

We have a guest today. Her name is Melissa Withy and I'm so thrilled she's here. She's an outstanding woman. Melissa, welcome. Thank you. Melissa is coming to us from Virginia. We met in Utah a few years ago, but she's been living in Virginia for the last few years. Let me introduce Melissa to you first, and then we'll talk a little bit more about our relationship. Melissa is the senior vice president and general counsel for big deconstruction companies and sits on the board of directors prior to joining In 2014, she was a partner at a large law firm practicing construction law. After our original recording, Melissa received a new position within big D construction. There was an article written about it.

Construction dive writes

Stephanie test:

in their article header Quote, big D taps construction law vet for chief legal officer. Melissa Bueller Withy who has written and edited two books on construction law. First represented the company as a partner at a private law firm. Unquote. Where did her expertise begin? It was as a graduate of the J. Reuben Clark School of Law. Now her family has blossomed. She is married to James. They have a daughter that's four and a half years old and identical twin boys. That are 18 months old. Can you imagine? She enjoys Ironman triathlons, yoga, cooking, and gardening. Melissa, I'm wondering if you have any time for those hobbies at this time of your life. Much less than I used to, for sure, although little kids do like playing in the dirt, so I do get to do a lot of yard work and gardening with them, but some of the others have had to take a little bit more of a backseat to tending my little circus. Yes. So tell me some of the joys that you've experienced in living in Virginia. we're just right outside the District of Columbia. We live in Northern Virginia. We've really enjoyed it. My husband's a defense contractor, so it's a great place for him, but it's been fun to be in a place that's very vibrant. Lots of different cultural experiences, a great mix of people. There's incredible museums and always interesting things to do. So other than July, when I really hate the humidity and the bugs we've really enjoyed living in Virginia. I've enjoyed visiting you in Virginia. That's for sure. That's right. Tell us what you find fulfilling in your career in Construction law. when I went to law school, I didn't even know that construction law was a specialty. And then, I started working with a partner that did construction law because our personalities fit well together. But now I'm 20 years into being a construction lawyer. And what I love about what I do is you're solving different problems every time. a good portion of what I do is what I call the project workout where you have a contract and signed and you've encountered some type of problem that impacts the ability to perform the work or the schedule or the price, and you're trying to solve it within the terms of the contract, but also within a way that works for both parties. And so I enjoy that challenge of trying to work towards positive solutions. And then it's fun to see your projects be built at the end of the day as well. Yes. I would enjoy that part, the finished building. walking through it and knowing that you were a part of making it all succeed. But you know, having said that when I first met you, it was hard for me to connect you with construction law, because I hear about this new neighbor. I go to meet Melissa and here she is a classic beauty. And right away I can tell she's incredibly intelligent, put together woman. And in my mind, And I was thinking, how do the two mix this classic intelligent woman with construction. now having become Melissa's friend and having experienced this story that we're about to share, I understand how the two go together. But that was my beginning impression with Melissa's. How do the two mix? That's funny. I've heard that from a couple other people. They're like, I don't understand. And no, I don't drive a forklift, but I do work in construction. There's a very different side of construction, isn't there? For sure. Lots of documents, lots of long contracts. Yes. Okay. This story we're going to share together begins in the winter of 2018. I'm the executive director of Excelsior Academy and Excelsior is going to expand. We currently at that time had 700. So students Excelsior Academy is a charter school in Tooele County in the southwest of the Salt Lake City airport. We have a few 100 students on the wait list and have for some time. We have completed all the expansion applications we've purchased land. We have the additional acreage and we're going to build a new middle school. we've had the construction company. We're going to call that company commercial builders. We have an attorney. We're going to call him Tim and the construction managers. We're going to call Hank. And we've given these people and entities made up names. we're on a tight schedule and this is how it is when most schools are built, isn't it? School's supposed to start the middle of August and this is January and the foundation has been poured and that's about where we are in this project. Melissa is new in my neighborhood. It's been exciting having her there, but I don't know her very well.

I've popped in here to explain the next scene in the original interview with Melissa. I did not think to include this important part of the story, which has. Why was it or how was it? That Melissa moved into my neighborhood. And if she had not moved into my neighborhood, then this story would have never happened. So the next scene is going to include Melissa coming back and explaining how it was that she moved into my neighborhood. And as you're listening to this story, you might have your own experience come to your mind. Where you've seen the hand of God in your life. And if that occurs, I hope that you will leave me a comment. On YouTube, because I'd like to start communicating with you. Perhaps we can share your story with everyone through dear daughters of God. And while you're there, please subscribe. So you don't miss the next episode. And. To help others find this video. here's Melissa.

Stephanie test:

so when you started working for Big Deconstruction, that brought you back to Utah.

squadcaster-j1ei_1_01-28-2024_143756:

Yes. So I had started, I'd been in Las Vegas after law school working for a large firm there. They also had an office in Salt Lake. And when I originally started working with Big D they were in Las Vegas and they were headquartered in Salt Lake, but I stayed in Las Vegas for a little while. And I had the option to continue staying in Las Vegas, but I. was single and felt just a really strong prompting that I needed to move to Salt Lake. And I had one foot in each door thinking, okay, I'll keep my condo in Las Vegas in case I don't like it, but I got an apartment in Salt Lake and, figured, okay, I had this very strong prompting that I'm supposed to move to Salt Lake. And so I rented an apartment in North Salt Lake just off the freeway, which was a good close trip to the office. It was also close to the temple. Which, was another thing that was important to me. And so I thought, okay, we'll give this a try.

ste_1_01-28-2024_123757:

Those were nice apartments. They were brand new at the time.

squadcaster-j1ei_1_01-28-2024_143756:

Yes, so I was actually the first person to live in it. So it was the top floor in the corner. it was gonna be a new adventure.

ste_1_01-28-2024_123757:

What an ideal location. How did that come about?

squadcaster-j1ei_1_01-28-2024_143756:

So after a couple months thinking, all right, how am I gonna, I thought, okay, I'm gonna move to Salt Lake. And so I moved up all my stuff and was unpacking one afternoon and I was hanging up a picture of. The temple and I drilled right into the fire sprinkler line for the building. It was just a plastic PVC pipe that was immediately adjacent to the drywall. And my little hole then precipitated flood that ended up flooding my apartment. And by the time the firefighters got the water off, there was four inches of standing water on the bottom floor apartment. And six units were not livable, including mine. And so that was a moment where I just thought, okay, I'm ready to live like an adult and, be in an established area. I'm just gonna rent a house. And so I looked at the houses that were for rent and ended up finding a house that was in the Eaglewood neighborhood that you live in. It was more space than I needed as a single girl, but I did have a brother that was gonna live with me,

ste_1_01-28-2024_123757:

I And good thing you did, because. We had this house that had become a rental, which was a disappointment and a shock to all of us in this neighborhood. when Melissa moved in, she turned it into this beautiful place. She loved the yard it, she worked in the garden. We were all thrilled because not only did she have this. Wonderful personality and was so delightful to be around, but she made the home and the gardens beautiful. So it may have seemed a bit too much for you, but you were perfect for all of the neighborhood. We were thrilled to have Melissa with us in that neighborhood.

squadcaster-j1ei_1_01-28-2024_143756:

it ended up being a big blessing, it precipitated. Like I said, feeling more settled, a lot of great friendships. And then ultimately I ended up, meeting my husband and, that's where we stayed for the first year of our marriage before we moved to Washington, DC.

ste_1_01-28-2024_123757:

Yes. That's where you met James.

Stephanie test:

I was a single woman, 35 living in, neighborhood with mostly established families. But I, it was just to the point where I really wanted to. I live like an established adult instead of, like a transitory person. And so I, lived two houses up from Stephanie. I think we'd met in passing a couple of times. And I thought, there's clearly an accomplished woman who I would be really interested in getting to know, but we were both so busy that, I just didn't get the opportunity to really know her. And then when I got assigned to be her ministering sister, I was excited. For the opportunity to visit with her before we got to start to work together on this construction project, we would sit down and in Stephanie's sitting room and visit for a half an hour or so once a month or every few weeks. it was great to get to know her, but it was just, the relationship still seemed very. Formal she was somebody who I knew and was interested in getting to know more, hadn't necessarily evolved to the level of what I would call a friendship yet. Good point. I agree. I agree. Okay. So in my life about this time we're having these construction meetings about every two weeks with volunteers to make sure that the construction plan is going as it should. And all of a sudden, Hank, the construction manager who works for commercial builders,

All right, just to be sure. Hank is not his real name And that is not as actual pitcher, but anyway, He's stopped communication and that's very unusual. He's not emailing. He's not responding to his calls. He's not responding to text messages and construction is slowing down drastically.

Stephanie test:

we're on this tight schedule. So this is beginning to worry me. And the construction committee is asking me what's going on? why aren't we having these meetings? Where's Hank? And I thought, I don't understand why Hank isn't responding and a couple of weeks pass and maybe the 3rd week passes and then the coming on the 4th week. Suddenly get a call at the end of the week, Friday night from Hank. And he says to me, and he's rushed and upset on the phone, and he says can I meet with you? And I was like, oh, yes, you bet you can meet with me. And he says right now, I was like yes. This is late on a Friday night. And he comes to my office. I'm shocked because his office is almost an hour away, but he must have been in the area. He comes and he says there's a problem. Excelsior is way over budget. I'm shocked to hear this because I haven't heard anything about us being over budget. We've only just laid the foundation. Everything's been going very smoothly up to this point. I said, where are we over budget? he says it's mostly within unstable soils. That's the majority of it. That's worth about$250, 000 approximately. And I was like, What? we paid a lot of money for engineering tests to happen before the foundation was laid, where they drilled in to see and make sure the soils were viable. And so I'm confused by this answer of his. then before I could say much more about that, he lists about. Oh, six more things that we're going to cost and add up to the additional total of about$565, 000. And then he says, I've got to go. And he was very just really upset himself. I don't mean he was mean, but he was just upset. He says, I've got something else to attend to. And he's out of my office. And I'm left there wondering what on earth just happened. then I head home. I'm very dismayed and I'm wondering how can I even let this construction project go forward? this is a 10 million project. I'm ultimately responsible to make sure that we're within budget. And we're already 120th over budget and we're just starting. What do I do? What do I say to the construction committee? And how can we be. liable for this when it doesn't even make sense. So I'm feeling very burdened. I go home and that's the state I'm in. Melissa, what's happening in your life at this time? So I was just recently married and busy with work and just, fulfilling work obligations and getting used to married life and enjoying, my ministering assignment in addition to other things. Okay. Then. I get a call from Melissa and she's asking if she can come and visit with me as a ministering and sister. And at this point I'm feeling very overwhelmed with everything. And my first inclination is to just politely and kindly say, I just don't have the time, but thank you. And I'm about to say that. And words come to my mind very strongly, and it's Stephanie, make the time. And I pause and say yes, Melissa, would Sunday night work for you? And she says, yes, Sunday night would work. And so we make that appointment she came over Sunday night and we're in this little sitting room we start with just formalities. Melissa said, really our relationship at this time was just friendly and more on a formal basis. We are two professional women. We were kind to each other, but we didn't know each other well, and she asked how are things at school? And my canned answer for people when things were hard was just, oh there's always some problems, but isn't that how work is? Who really wants to hear about your work problems? But again, in this moment. The spirit said to me, share with Melissa the problems you're having at Excelsior. And I was rather stunned to hear this message and humbled because I thought, can I share this? But I was like, yes, you can. And I hesitated, but I began to tell her the truth. Of what had just happened with Hank, this construction manager, how he came in my office and quickly shared with me 565, 000 worth of overage to our budget after not speaking with me for a few weeks. And I didn't even know what to do, wondered if I had needed to stop the whole construction project. And Melissa, what happened from there? So I remember, going in that it's, and I had met with Stephanie a number of times before, and you could sometimes tell when someone's tired or has a lot on their plate, but Stephanie is always very poised and controlled and, doesn't dump her, lay her burdens on other people unnecessarily. I just remember coming over that evening and I could Tell Stephanie, she just looked not well and that something was really bothering her. but we didn't necessarily have a relationship personal enough, where I thought she would immediately be comfortable telling me what was wrong. And so we were, we're just visiting and because I do construction and, one of the things that helped her open up a little bit more was how things were going on the construction project because I knew she was Really excited about that opportunity in the new school so I thought maybe i'll lighten the mood and ask her about the construction project I asked her about the construction project and immediately sensed her stiffen up and a level of hesitancy at first she gave a very standoffish answer But it was clear that things were not going well on the project partly just because I was curious and partly because I actually unlike when people ask me questions about their divorce or, other things. I don't have value to add. I thought. If there's something going wrong on the construction process, maybe I can set her mind at ease or help manage her expectations on something. And so I pushed a little bit more, which wasn't necessarily comfortable for me. And I could tell Stephanie was resisting it. And then when I had asked her more, she just teared up and, just confessed that things were not going well. But I could tell she still was very hesitant about burdening my time as another professional with the specifics of the problem and was hesitant to make it my problem, if that makes sense. And, but, as we talked, she started sharing more and more of the specific details about what was going on the project. There you go. That's how it happened. That's right. I remember tearing up and I remember feeling hesitant can I share? But at the same time I knew I was supposed to, and it was such relief to share that with you. It was such relief. And then Melissa's reaction was after I shared what had happened with Hank and how we're over$565,000 and Melissa's reaction was, do you have the construction contract? And I said yes, I have an electronic file of it. And I'm thinking, boy, that thing is huge. It was so intimidating to me. And she said, can you send that to me? I said yes. She said, send it to me first thing in the morning. So I did Monday morning, I sent it to her first thing and I was amazed because it was maybe an hour later that I get it back from Melissa and certain portions are yellow highlighted, and she's Outlined which portions that Hank has Gone against what's the proper term? Essentially, he was requesting compensation that wasn't allowed by the agreement. There were certain areas of risk that the construction company had assumed under the construction contract, and he was disregarding those and requesting changes from the district for what he had viewed as cost overruns. There you go. Those are the terms. Yeah. Yeah. And then she also had written her next suggestion that we send a letter to the construction company explaining that with this contract highlighted, that this was the reason that we wouldn't be responsible for all of these costs. I was just amazed. It was just spelled out for me, but Melissa knew we had an attorney, right? So she said, call your attorney, call Tim and share with him this information I've given to you and ask Tim to send the letter to commercial builders, your contractor. so I did just that. Tim just did not. I agree with his approach. He just thought this is all just going to work out. Let's just all let it just shake out. I couldn't take that risk nor did my construction committee agree with taking the risk of let's just let this$565, 000 leave it hanging and just see what's going to happen. No one agreed with that approach. I went back to Melissa and said, Melissa. Tim doesn't agree with this and Melissa, what was your suggestion? What do you think we should do? And we weren't trying to set it up for an overly aggressive posture. The purpose of the letter was to outline the provisions of the contract that governed the situations that. They had asked for more money for and to essentially provide an explanation and an outline as to why those were not Excelsior's responsibility, not in an aggressive litigious manner, but it would be hard to have a productive meeting with them until they had reviewed these provisions and remembered what their obligations were. So the goal of the letter was. To outline and say, you've given us these costs and let's go through what our contract says on those and then set it up for a future meeting to discuss those. But it was important to have the substantive discussion about who was responsible for it. Via contract. Otherwise, any meeting with them wouldn't have necessarily had the right background. Because the construction contract is long, they wouldn't have been in necessarily a position to read and respond to it during the meeting. The letter was trying to help give them background on why these weren't Excelsior's responsibility and try and resolve those costs going forward. And also, it was important that given the project was just starting on the build side. It wasn't only trying to solve this specific cost issue, but also to set the stage that Excelsior expected the contractor to hold up its end of the bargain for the rest of the construction project as well. Perfectly said. Perfectly said. Tim still didn't that our attorneys said, I'm not going to get involved in this and don't want to do this. So Melissa said Stephanie, you go ahead and send the letter that I've written and just sign your name. And I thought, wait, that's really gracious and generous of her. She's done all this work and she's saying, Stephanie, go ahead and sign it with, as if I did the work, but it was fine with her. And the construction committee agreed to that. And we understood the reasons for it. By no means could we just let this go by the wayside. So we did just that. I signed the letter and sent it to commercial builders. And it was solved. It was solved. And I thought at that point, boy, construction builders now understands that they better stay right within this contract. Because we have someone that's looking carefully at the contract, so they're now going to stay right within the contract and everything's going to go along just fine. And I thought that's how it would go, but I was incorrect. Unfortunately, there continued to be one issue after another. Melissa continued to ask as my friend and ministering sister, how are things going? And I learned the truth is best. I could tell Melissa. And Melissa what was your idea then? So it was interesting because I could definitely sense that Stephanie still had, a high level of respect for my time and a hesitation to impose on it, especially when they had, hired attorneys, they had been prepared on their side. But she, I remember one afternoon, and I don't know if you remember this, Stephanie where I could tell she was frustrated with or upset with another issue that was eating. Eating at her and I asked her if she had prayed about it and she just said of course I have I've prayed about it, significantly and it just, I remember thinking you've prayed for an answer and I'm your answer because the particular skill set as far as resolving those course of construction issues There aren't a lot of lawyers that specialize in that and it wasn't something that she could even go out and hire necessarily if she wanted without Retaining a lawyer that may have had a conflict or worked on the other side or had the availability to provide The advice that she needed on the timetable that excelsior needed it. So I just remember thinking this is an opportunity to get to know Stephanie better but also to serve her with A skill set that I had, and I remember, thinking the other lady I ministered to had four little kids, and I remember thinking, gosh, Stephanie, it's a lot easier for me to spend an hour reviewing a construction contract than it is two hours babysitting for little kids, even though I did the four little kids, and I thought, this is ha. This is what I do. Just let me help you. And then once we finally I finally got her comfortable with the concept of letting me help it, it blossomed into a really productive working relationship on that, but also the start of what I view as a beautiful friendship because, we were doing something together and working on solving a problem together in, roles that we both enjoyed mine, as a construction lawyer and Stephanie as an administrator. Yes, That's true. It's nothing like having a problem to solve together that can bring two people close together. And so Melissa just said to me why don't you just put me on your construction committee? And I said, really? You're okay with that? And she's yes, of course, I'm okay with that. And I'm thinking. You work in downtown Salt Lake, my school's in Tooele, that's really out of your way. And she was like, I'm happy to do it. And it was just that attitude that She'd rather do that than, watching over four kids for a few hours because it was her specialty. She knew what she was doing and very few understand that area like she does. So she started coming to our construction committee meetings. It was funny because the rest of the committee members looked for reasons to not come after that. Because they were like, Melissa's here. She's got this As just another member, she said, don't introduce me as an attorney, just call me Melissa. And I thought this is such a good example to me of a very humble approach that Melissa has to life. She is well known in construction law and across this country and she had no pretense. She didn't need that to be known at that point. She was just Melissa on this committee, willing to do her part in these meetings. And so that's what kept us going. That's what kept us on schedule. That's what kept commercial builders in line. It kept their problems a little more at bay Near the end we found there were, I think, some underlying feelings of frustration from Hank and Melissa, do you remember that issue with the elevator? And here we are, the building's done, and do you want to talk about that? Yeah, sometimes one of the harder things to have happen at the end of a project is to get all of your inspections done on the time frames because, the state officials have Demands on their time and you have to coordinate with your elevator contractor to be there for those inspections and there was an issue with a fairly simple fix with the elevator that had failed inspection and we needed to have the contractor back out when the inspector could come in order to be able to start school and Hank had said I've talked to the inspector and he can't come and tell, 10 days from now, which was a full week after school was supposed to have started. And that's the best, that we can do. And so it was an opportunity. I was able to say, okay, I don't necessarily know personally this elevator company, but I know people who do. And I think we can figure out how to get. Some guys from the elevator company out there for half an hour for an inspection. So it was an opportunity that I was able to use some of the contacts that I had to call the company and explain, no, we really need, someone to come out and do this inspection. we were able to coordinate it partly because, I was able to put in, the additional level of effort that, Hank just either wasn't capable of or wasn't willing to put in and, by this. point we had to almost drag him through the process, trying to do it very cooperatively and, a team oriented environment, but he just seemed to struggle with solving some of the basic issues. And I wasn't trying to. Be litigious, just in a situation where we could say, okay, what's a problem solving approach to this? How can we get this done? And help drag it through. And we were able to get the elevator contractor out there and get the inspection signed off on so that school could start. That's right. It was such an incredibly, important moment for us because a very large community, an Excelsior community was depending on school starting that day as planned on the school calendar. It wasn't just the middle school students, but all of the students of Excelsior because if the middle school students couldn't start, neither could their younger siblings at the elementary school. So it affected about 1150 students and all of their families. It was because Melissa's willingness to answer the call as a ministering sister and give of her time again, all as a volunteer to make it happen, to talk to all of those subcontractors, get that elevator guy, I'll just call him the guy, out there, that elevator inspection completed, and qualified so we could indeed get inside the building and start school on the day that it was supposed to start. It meant the world to me as an administrator and to the community at Excelsior. It was just a miracle my viewpoint. And it all came from Melissa's just really calm and willing attitude to fulfill her calling as ministering sister. So I was eternally grateful for her willingness. I think sometimes when we talk about, ministering sisters and ministering assignments, we think of the benefit that, that, say the Stephanie in this situation, receives as the result ministering sister. But it was really an incredible blessing for me. Because I was able to give some service that I felt made a difference doing something that I do that was you know, I mean it's going to the weekly construction meetings was definitely an effort but I was able to get the blessings in my life at a time when you know I felt like I needed them of being able to give that service and then the enduring blessing of having a beautiful friendship bloom out of it. And it was really ended up being a very fulfilling process for me to be able to be involved, to feel like I had given something and created something and to get to know Stephanie as a friend. Yes, that's so true. it came from first of all. From my perspective, learning how to share hard things with those that are wanting sincerely to help. That's where it started. I had to learn that I had to let go of my pride and listen to the Spirit and be willing to share something that was uncomfortable. I had to show this beautiful woman that my life was not perfect. My life had problems and I wasn't handling it well. I didn't know how to handle it. And Boy, I might even cry about it I think clearly in this situation Like I had asked her Stephanie clearly had the faith to be able to pray for an answer But the harder part sometimes when you are a strong and capable woman is to have the humility to accept the help when it comes And I had no doubt that I was the answer to Stephanie's prayer, but it's not always comfortable to ask somebody else to help you because you feel like you're being a burden or like you're intruding upon them. And to me, it was, a reminder that sometimes, when we're the person who's being served, the faith to ask for help doesn't necessarily Give us a lot, unless we have the humility to be able to, accept the answer to the prayer that comes. Yes, That's right. Unless we have the humility to accept that help. That's right. Which isn't always, a comfortable position to be in. I know that especially balancing, twins after they were first born, I'd have people who would call and say, what can I help you with? And I remember thinking, I'm fine. But then I'm going, but I'm not, I can't use, someone to go pick up a couple gallons of milk at the store or little things. And so this year, especially not as much now, I feel like I'm emerging from it, but the first few weeks and months of having newborn twins and a very active opinionated three year olds was definitely an exercise for me in learning to accept service. And I found that as I did learn to accept that service and actually articulate some of the things that I did need people to help me with, that I could feel blessings flow into my life as a result of that. Yes. Because Heavenly Father wants, to do his work, but he wants to do it through us. And so we need to allow him to do just that by allowing ourselves to be helped by one another. Exactly,

In the end, Excelsior showed our gratitude towards Melissa for her many months of volunteer work. By dedicating a classroom to her, we made it the Melissa Withy Classroom.

Stephanie test:

We had a big assembly with a few student performances and we had Melissa speak. And at the end, the teachers got to meet Melissa. And this is when we dedicated the classroom. We put up a sign that said, Melissa, Withy classroom. That's one way Excelsior gave back and remembered Melissa Withy, and her effort. On our behalf. Melissa, was there anything else that comes to your mind about this experience that you'd like to share? Just again, that I thought, what a coincidence that probably the only person who I have ever or will ever, meet in Relief Society has Construction project challenge. That's, and I don't do residential construction. I do large commercial projects. And so what is just interesting to me as another example of how the Lord is in the details of our life that I had been assigned to minister to Stephanie during the exact time that she was having, a challenge that not only was I uniquely able to help with it, it was helped that she wouldn't be able to readily find it any place else, even in the local legal market. And so it was a neat experience for me to remember that not only was the Lord in the details of Stephanie's life, that he was in the details of my life by helping make this ministering assignment. Yes, it's exactly right. Melissa. It's good to hear how the Lord was also in the detail of your life. something else has come to my mind I covered it in episode 10, the prodigal daughter. it's an offshoot of this story from that. We became friends and Melissa moved to Virginia and then later my daughter Savannah moved to Washington D. C. in the district area and she was having a baby and I couldn't get there because Richard was quarantined and it was Melissa that was there for Savannah. Do you remember that Melissa? I do. And it was during COVID, because they were quarantined. I had been new to Virginia, we didn't have the opportunity to make a lot of friends, people weren't really reaching out. And we were a little bit lonely. At this point, my daughter was just over a year old. And we didn't know a lot of people. we got to meet Savannah and Sam, who were in a similar situation. we'd gotten together with them a couple times before. I remember getting a call from Savannah one evening saying, I've gone into labor early I was able to meet her and her husband at the hospital and take Eliza, their three year old for a couple of days. And so it was fun to have that introduction, be able to breed more friends along the way. Yes. That's exactly what it did. It did bring more friendships between you and Savannah and Sam and James and all of us and the blessing that Melissa has been in my life again and my children's lives and grandchildren's lives all because of that initial calling as a ministering sister and my lesson in learning how to share your problems. even if it's hard and a little embarrassing to admit, so you have problems and there's someone here to help you. And that's the way the Lord wants it. He wants you to be helped. He wants you to learn how to be helped. He wants to serve you and he wants to do it through your friend. She's here to serve you.

Melissa. Did you have a scripture that related to this story that you wanted to share?

Stephanie test:

the one that came to mind that I've, really embraced a lot over probably the last 10 years of my life, I think fits perfectly. So it's in first Nephi chapter 17, when Nephi is talking about the challenges of having to live in the wilderness for the last eight years. and the way that he. Recounts those is, he says, so great were the blessings of the Lord that while they had raw meat in the wilderness, their women were able to have strength to bear children and to nurse in the wilderness. And they were able to see the commandments of God be fulfilled. And then, in verse three, it continues the commandments of God. He does nourish them and strengthen them and provide means whereby they can accomplish the thing which he has commanded. Wherefore, he did provide means for us while we did sojourn in the wilderness. And I think I've read that scripture when I remember thinking, gosh, that's a blessing I want. I don't want to be living in the wilderness and eating raw meat and then all of a sudden be strong enough to bear and rear children in the wilderness. I don't want to be in the wilderness to begin with. I want my meat to be cooked. And I think so often that when we have a problem, we pray to the Lord to take the challenge away. But the blessing that the Lord generally wants to provide is to give us the strength to be able to overcome that challenge. And so trying to remember that when I do come upon challenges and hard things, To have my inclination not to be this isn't fair, Lord, please take this challenge away from me, but that if I pray for help and strength to be able to overcome the challenge, that's when the enabling power of the atonement can operate in our lives. and that we can receive the strength and the peace and the reassurance to overcome the challenges that are in our life, no matter how difficult they may be. I love that scripture because, it reminds us as to what the promise of obedience is. The promise of discipleship is not that we won't have challenges. The promise of discipleship is that we will have the enabling power of the atonement to strengthen us and bring peace in our lives, no matter how overwhelming the challenges that we do face in this life. In fact, we are promised we will receive challenges and there will be opposition in all things. So thinking that if we keep commandments, we should avoid challenges, we're just going to make ourselves really frustrated because we are going to have challenges in life. That's the whole purpose of why we're here. But what we're promised is peace and strength and the power to overcome and to grow in the process. Yes. Yes. Those challenges are part of our necessary part of our exalted existence. Just Joseph Smith in prison, just like Joseph of Egypt. As a slave and in prison, we must have those challenges and they, it's not just for our exalted existence, but for the influence that has on those around us for generations to come. That was beautiful. Melissa. Thank you. Thank you for sharing that scripture with us Melissa, it's been a joy having you. Thank you for joining me.. I've enjoyed it. and fun that we ended up color coordinated

Stephanie Eccles's video recording-8:

I want to thank Melissa with you for joining me today and sharing the story together. And thank Melissa for helping Excelsior academy, complete their middle school on budget and on time. I also want to thank my Heavenly Father for blessing me. With Melissa Withy, as a ministering and sister. you had an experience where you have felt the hand of your Father and heaven in your life? Or perhaps a family member's life. If you have reach out to me. I would like to help you share that story. You can find

me at deardaughterstalk@gmail.com.

Stephanie Eccles's video recording-8:

Or on YouTube and leave a comment and we'll start to communicate that way. Some of you have asked from my daughter, Savannah Johnston. Who was on episode six. Called going forward with the faith. You can find Savannah. On Savypolitics. Savypolitics is in two places, both on YouTube. And on Instagram, she would love to hear from you. For now I will say for well, until we meet again.