I came to the states from France at age 4. I was raised by a single mother who married into an abusive domestic violence and substance abuse relationship. I was sexually abused by my neighbors from ages 5-7 and bc I was the foreign kid I was often bullied and ignored. I craved some stability and security but felt empty and alone most of my childhood. Especially when my older brother got deported for selling drugs and gta. I discovered opiates after a shoulder surgery and found relief from the torment in my head. My rock bottoms were about as bad as it can get. From home invasions and robbery, to selling my body and helping women sell their bodies for me. In 2011 I was heavily into my addiction and had to go into surgery for some complications in my groin ( a testicular torsion) I ended up blowing out my coronary artery and going into cardiac arrest. I was in a coma for 5 days. The doctors told my family to come say good bye bc I wasn’t going to make it. I woke from that coma on 11/11/11 and they said I’d be dead in 6 months. I’ve tried various forms of recovery and found that I took the pieces that worked for me. Everyone’s recovery is as unique to them as their fingerprints. I tried abstinence and it didn’t work for me in the beginning bc I had ptsd, anxiety, depression, adhd, and the list goes on. Once I stopped using, I realized I had a lot of healing to do but I didn’t know how. I came across some articles on ibogaine and ayahuasca and the benefits of microdosing ketamine and psilocybin. I did some research on how they helped my specific mental health conditions and decided I wanted to explore this world of plant medicine for addiction treatment. I’m no longer on traditional Medical assisted treatment such as methadone but I do use medical marijuana for my mental health at times which is better for me personally instead of being on the list of pharmaceutical medications they want me taking. I want to tell people it’s ok to recover with Mat or through plant medicine if the goal is actually sobriety and we truly want a life better than what we know. I don’t have all the answers, I just know what works for me. I think showing people that we can recover differently and still help lift each other is a message a truly support.
I came to the states from France at age 4. I was raised by a single mother who married into an abusive domestic violence and substance abuse relationship. I was sexually abused by my neighbors from ages 5-7 and bc I was the foreign kid I was often bullied and ignored. I craved some stability and security but felt empty and alone most of my childhood. Especially when my older brother got deported for selling drugs and gta. I discovered opiates after a shoulder surgery and found relief from the torment in my head. My rock bottoms were about as bad as it can get. From home invasions and robbery, to selling my body and helping women sell their bodies for me. In 2011 I was heavily into my addiction and had to go into surgery for some complications in my groin ( a testicular torsion) I ended up blowing out my coronary artery and going into cardiac arrest. I was in a coma for 5 days. The doctors told my family to come say good bye bc I wasn’t going to make it. I woke from that coma on 11/11/11 and they said I’d be dead in 6 months. I’ve tried various forms of recovery and found that I took the pieces that worked for me. Everyone’s recovery is as unique to them as their fingerprints. I tried abstinence and it didn’t work for me in the beginning bc I had ptsd, anxiety, depression, adhd, and the list goes on. Once I stopped using, I realized I had a lot of healing to do but I didn’t know how. I came across some articles on ibogaine and ayahuasca and the benefits of microdosing ketamine and psilocybin. I did some research on how they helped my specific mental health conditions and decided I wanted to explore this world of plant medicine for addiction treatment. I’m no longer on traditional Medical assisted treatment such as methadone but I do use medical marijuana for my mental health at times which is better for me personally instead of being on the list of pharmaceutical medications they want me taking. I want to tell people it’s ok to recover with Mat or through plant medicine if the goal is actually sobriety and we truly want a life better than what we know. I don’t have all the answers, I just know what works for me. I think showing people that we can recover differently and still help lift each other is a message a truly support.