Ep.97 Stop Postponing Yourself: Waiting is Self-Sabotage in Disguise!

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What if the most polished form of self‑sabotage is the one that sounds wise and looks responsible—waiting? This week I'm taking you through another 'dream blocker' by looking at the phrases that keep us stuck—when things calm down, when I have more time, when I feel ready—and swapping them for micro‑moves that actually shift identity. We explore why one day is risky, how permission rarely arrives from the outside, and why action—not thought—creates the headspace and clarity we keep postponing.

You’ll hear how midlife rebellion can be quiet and profound: not chaos, but a decision to stop delaying what makes you feel alive, and I share practical prompts to shrink your dreams into starter steps that fit inside a full life. Along the way, we unpack the myths of readiness and alignment, showing how momentum generates energy and how messy beginnings invite life to expand around your new direction.

If you recognise your own 'one day' sentence, this is your gentle nudge toward your own rebellious move...

Transcript

Welcome And Mission

Zoe Greenhalf 0:00

I mean, how many weeks are we willing to spend postponing ourselves? How many notebooks and journals are we going to fill with sentences that begin with one day? Hey there. Welcome or welcome back to the Mischief Movement Podcast. I'm Zoe, your guide on this journey to shake up the status quo and design a life that truly makes you feel alive. If you've ever felt disconnected, stuck on autopilot, or trapped in a life that feels more like a treadmill than an adventure, you're in the right place. I know that change can feel scary, so let's turn down the fear and crank up the fears as we transform your life from the inside out. Whether it's solo episodes packed with actionable advice or interviews with some absolute bass human beings who've dared to defy the norm by living life their way, we're here to inspire, activate, empower and challenge you each week. My mission is simple: to help you reawaken your rebel spirit, break free from mediocrity, and design a line that's anything but double. You only get one line. So what are you planning to do with yours? If you're ready to stop settling, start living boldly and create a positive impact along the way. Let's dive in and stir up some mischief together. Now buckle up and let's go. Hey, welcome back. We are edging our way towards episode 100 of the Mischief Movement Podcast. And um a couple of episodes back, I did say I was going to talk about some of the biggest dream blockers out there. So this week we're talking about how waiting is the most glamorous form of self-sabotage. Last week I found an old journal. And you know, when you open something you wrote like years ago and you instantly feel like you're spying on a younger version of yourself. Have you have you ever done that? So um, like about halfway down a page, there was this one sentence and it said, uh, I was talking about, you know, things in the future and stuff. And it's oh, one day I'd love to be a coach. One day, right? I wrote one day, not now, not this year, not while the kids are young, or not while I'm still figuring myself out. I wrote one day, and I closed the notebook, and I just sat there thinking, wow, I wrote that sentence years before I actually did anything about it. And that's what I want to talk to you about today. Because the most socially acceptable form of self-sabotage there is is waiting. I mean, we've all done it, haven't we? We've sat there and said, Yeah, but I'm just waiting until I've got more time. I'm waiting until I've got a bit more energy. I just, you know, I just need a bit more headspace. Or yeah, I'm waiting until things calm down. Um oh, here's a good one. I'm waiting until I feel a bit more confident, or I'm waiting until it makes sense because it feels responsible and mature and sensible, but it also quietly keeps life exactly the same. When I first felt the pull towards coaching, I dismissed it almost immediately because it felt a bit um a bit disruptive and it just felt kind of indulgent in a way, like I like wanting something just because it lit me up. Um, you know, I already had stuff going on when I wrote that, I had responsibilities, I had my kids, and I had a life that on paper was perfectly respectable. But I think somewhere along the way, many of us learn that wanting something because it lights us up isn't a strong enough reason. And um, and so I parked it and I told myself that yeah, like one day when when things have settled down, maybe that's what I'll do. But the inconvenient truth that you probably don't want to hear is that life doesn't settle down. It doesn't, it just kind of rearranges. There is always something. If you're smiling and nodding along with me, right? I'm talking to you, there's always a busier season or um you know, a financial wobble, a school transition, a family thing, the classic, the family thing, um, a confidence dip, a global pandemic, yeah? Who remembers that one? Um, or as some of my friends are going through at the moment, perimenopause and menopause. That can also have such a massive impact on our capacity to um even think about making big changes in our lives. There's no magical clearing in the forest where everything goes quiet and a voice says, now would be the perfect time to reinvent yourself. So sorry about that, but that moment doesn't exist. And if I'm really honest, it wasn't time that I was waiting for. It was permission. I was waiting to feel officially ready, like waiting for someone, um, I don't know, a mentor, the universe, to tap me on the shoulder and be like, yep, now you're qualified, now you won't embarrass yourself. Now this makes logical sense. But of course, nobody came. And um, and that's when I started noticing something else. In 4,000 weeks by Oliver Berkman, the book talks about the brutal fact that the average human life is roughly 4,000 weeks long. And when you actually sit with that number, it's quite uncomfortable, isn't it? Because suddenly one day doesn't feel very poetic. It feels kind of kind of risky. I mean, how many weeks are we willing to spend postponing ourselves? How many notebooks and journals are we gonna fill with sentences that begin with one day? I've started thinking that this is what midlife rebellion actually is. It's not dramatic, it's not burning everything down. And in many ways it's not actually total chaos, but it's almost the quiet moment where you look at your life and think, I don't want to keep postponing the parts of me that feel alive. Now tell me if that isn't rebellion. It's subtle, but it changes everything. For me, there wasn't a lightning bolt moment where I suddenly felt fearless about coaching, and there wasn't a neat tidy window where life was calm and spacious. God, I can't even remember what calm and spacious are. Maybe, maybe in my life, pre-children. Um but there was just a growing discomfort, a sense that if I kept ignoring this pull, I would build an entire life around avoiding it. And that scared me more than failing. So I started messily, I think that's become my signature by now, way before I felt polished or confident or even ready. And you know, the interesting thing about that is that life didn't calm down, but it did expand. It kind of stretched to hold the new thing, which sounds a bit weird, doesn't it? But that's what life does when you move, it kind of makes space for the movement. I think there's another lie hidden inside waiting as well, because we often tell ourselves, or at least I do, I just need more headspace. But headspace rarely appears first. The headspace is created by action, just like clarity. Energy is created by momentum. Austin Cleon or Cleon, I wish I knew how to pronounce his name. He wrote a book called Keep Going, and he said, You don't need to know where you're going, but just keep going. It's so simple, but it's kind of radical in a culture that's obsessed with readiness. We've been taught to prepare endlessly, research more, think longer, plan better, wait for alignment. But sometimes the alignment only happens after you take the first small step. So let me ask you something gently. What are you postponing right now? Not in a dramatic way, just in a tidy, sensible, well-reasoned way, like I described. What's your version of one day? Is it writing? Is it changing direction? Starting something, leaving something, taking yourself seriously. And if you're telling yourself you'll begin when you have more time or more energy, when exactly is that scheduled? Because full lives don't magically empty out, you build the dream inside that fullness. Here's what I want you to do this week. Pick one thing that you've been postponing, but not the fully realized version, the starter version. Okay. If you want to write a book, write 200 words. If you want to pivot careers, email one person. And if you want to launch something, draft the outline. No ceremony or dramatic announcement. You don't need a five-year roadmap. You j you just need a bit of movement because waiting sounds intelligent and it can look very impressive from the outside. But action is where identity shifts. A friend of mine at the moment is on the verge of launching her podcast. The podcast that she's been talking about and thinking about for at least a year now. But she's so afraid to push the button and get going. So instead of worrying about how to create an entire series, I've said to her, just think about a trailer. It doesn't have to be very long, it's just a couple of minutes. Nail the trailer. Put that out. The rest will come. So what's your equivalent of that? I wrote one day I'd love to be a coach. And now I'm doing it. Not because life got easier, and not because somebody approved approved me, because I stopped postponing myself. I'm not perfect. There are still days where I'm like, what am I doing? But I stopped postponing myself. I think so many people are still carrying their own version of that sentence, though. One day I'll start this thing, one day I'll change my career. One day I'll figure out what my purpose is. Is that you? If this episode has nudged something in you, and if you can recognize yourself in the waiting, it's not a weakness. It just means that there's something in you that wants to move. And sometimes what helps isn't more thinking, it's actually a conversation, a little bit of clarity and a bit of momentum. So I just want to remind you that I do offer one-off brainstorming sessions and deeper activation coaching sessions for exactly this reason. Not to overhaul your entire life overnight, but at least to help you get off the start line. So if that feels helpful, you'll find the details and the links in the show notes. And if not, take the challenge anyway. Think about your dream and shrink it till you come to a first tiny, easy step. Now that's what I've been doing with my clients in these five-day tiny rebel challenges as well. It's about shrinking things until they feel so unbelievably small, you can't not do them, you know. But take the step, refuse to let one day quietly turn into ten years because waiting does look sophisticated. But moving is rebellious. Wait, hang on. Before I go, a quick note. As this podcast moves towards its final chapters, the best place to stay connected is my mailing list. That's where I'll share what's unfolding next when it's ready to be shared, without noise and without rushing. You can also find me on LinkedIn, where I'm still very much around and thinking out loud in public. There is something new taking shape behind the scenes, but I'm giving it the space to fully form before I speak about it properly. If you're curious, patient, and happy to sit in the in-between with me, you'll be in the right place. Thanks for being here, and I will speak to you again soon.