Episode 4 - Expanding your Comfort Zone

Kelly explores the power of embracing all emotions—even the ones we resist. She shares a transformative moment in her healing journey, discovering gratitude for anger and grief as signs of life and growth. Through personal stories and holistic insights, she reveals how expanding our capacity to feel discomfort also expands our ability to experience joy, love, and hope. Tune in for profound wisdom on emotional resilience, energy healing, and the infinite possibilities that emerge when we allow ourselves to truly feel and heal. 

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With Infinite Love & Gratitude

Kelly

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Transcript

00;00;00;12 - 00;00;37;20
Kelly Goetz
Welcome back. Today I wanted to talk about, our comfort zone. One of the things that I learned about a month into my healing journey before I actually entered the world of holistic practices, is I started to learn about the concept of being able to appreciate and be grateful for all of our emotions. And what that look like for me is, you know, when you are raw or when you're going through a huge wound or painful event, perhaps it's a diagnosis.

00;00;37;20 - 00;01;09;02
Kelly Goetz
Maybe, like me, you've lost somebody that was important to you. Loss of life. When you're going through some sort of, tragic, difficult event, I believe that were just open and raw. But at least I was. Perhaps. Perhaps that's not true for you. But about a month into my healing journey, 18 years ago, I had a moment where I don't even know what I was angry about, but I was angry, and I was really, really angry.

00;01;09;05 - 00;01;38;21
Kelly Goetz
Now I'm extremely spiritual, and I do believe that there's something that connects us all. I do believe that there's some divine Divinity presence, and I do enjoy going to my church, and that's not true for everyone. But I think having some sort of there's something bigger than me helps me personally, navigate some of life's challenges. That's true for me.

00;01;38;21 - 00;02;14;03
Kelly Goetz
It may not be true for you. That being said, I remember having a moment where I was upstairs in my in my house and I was walking from my son's room and to my bedroom, and I don't know what it was that had me feeling so frustrated and angry, but I was feeling angry. Now, I've learned in Chinese medicine that the liver organ and the liver meridian, one of the jobs that it does is it helps us move the energy of anger and frustration.

00;02;14;05 - 00;02;40;20
Kelly Goetz
So when there's an out of balance in the Liver meridian, oftentimes you can have an excess amount of anger and frustration. At the time, I knew nothing about Chinese medicine. I knew nothing about holistic practices. I had spent eight years doing leadership and relationship development. I spent eight years, releasing beliefs and behaviors and taking steps forward.

00;02;40;20 - 00;03;12;01
Kelly Goetz
So those eight years that I had prior to this, of that really was such a huge, impactful role and an important, internal support system that I had already built some skills around. And I'll talk about that at a later date, because there's so many great tools there. But in this moment in time, I'm navigating something different. I am now having to heal my body, heal my life, heal myself physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.

00;03;12;03 - 00;03;37;28
Kelly Goetz
I'm grieving. And now on this particular day, I'm feeling a tremendous amount of anger and what I all of a sudden recognize was like, all right, what is the benefit of this anger right now? What is, you know, feeling this level of anger at a level 8 or 9? I wasn't angry at my kid. I don't even know what I was angry at.

00;03;38;00 - 00;04;03;19
Kelly Goetz
Remember walking back into my bedroom and I just made this declaration? I was like, okay, what is great about that? What can I be grateful for in this anger right now? What would what's the benefit of this anger? And I had this epiphany, this I thought it was an epiphany. Somebody else might think it's crazy. You might think it's crazy, but all of a sudden I thought, you know what?

00;04;03;22 - 00;04;32;02
Kelly Goetz
Well, thank God that I'm feeling this anger right now. The only thing I can see and feeling this much anger is that it's letting me know that I'm alive. That I'm here on this planet Earth to live, that I'm living. It was like proof that I was physically living emotional living, that I'm here. And so sudden. I thought, you know what?

00;04;32;04 - 00;05;21;09
Kelly Goetz
If this anger, this intense feeling of anger that I'm feeling a month after, my tragic event. If this is what I'm feeling right now, that means I'm alive. And if I'm alive, there's some sort of hope that I can move forward. And then the more I thought about it, the more I thought, all right, if this means that I'm alive and I can feel this level of anger and this level of pain and this level of grief, then I know if I can feel this at a level ten plus, that someday, somehow I am going to feel joy and love at such a great level that I've never experienced before.

00;05;21;12 - 00;05;49;12
Kelly Goetz
Somehow, I knew in my soul by giving the meaning of feeling. This anger is connected to this gift of living on this earth was the meaning I gave it. I get to live. No, I don't get to live with my child. But I get to live. I get to have another day. I get new hope. I get the possibilities, the infinite possibilities that I can create.

00;05;49;12 - 00;06;15;23
Kelly Goetz
Whatever it is I want to create, even if that creation is simply moving out of this anger, being appreciative and grateful for this anger so that someday, if I keep stepping forward, someday I would feel joy and love that is so great and so powerful. And was like, okay, that's what I'm going to set my intentions on now.

00;06;15;23 - 00;06;54;07
Kelly Goetz
I've since learned, having studied a lot of holistic practices and practiced and worked with clients. One of the things I feel certain about is that when we shrink our ability to feel the uncomfortable emotions like anger or frustration or sadness or depression, any of those emotions and others, when we shrink, when we resist feeling anger, sadness, frustration of any kind, any emotion, that's a low vibration.

00;06;54;10 - 00;07;19;19
Kelly Goetz
You could call it a negative or positive. I tend to not want to go to the negative or positive, because that's just a judgment of what we call it, but it's a lower vibration, you know, you see people when they're in anger and sadness and frustration, they're at a lower vibration. They're auric field or their ability to be out in the world and connecting with the world shrinks.

00;07;19;22 - 00;07;46;02
Kelly Goetz
People tend to avoid angry people. People tend to of, you know, not know sometimes what to do when somebody they love is sad or depressed. They want to help them and they don't know how to help them, because that person is literally their energy field and they are shrinking on some level. They are compressing, they are pulling in in a place of protection.

00;07;46;05 - 00;08;14;01
Kelly Goetz
And so when we when you choose to say, I don't want to feel anger, I don't want to feel judgment, I don't want to feel sadness. It's like we energetically put up a wall of resistance. I'm not going to feel that. The truth of the matter, though, is your body, your soul, the person you are. We have this huge wealth of emotion, emotional experience.

00;08;14;04 - 00;08;50;03
Kelly Goetz
So when we resist feeling anger and frustration and sadness, guess what? We start shrinking our comfort level. We start shrinking our comfort zone. And as we shrink our comfort zone to feel the emotions that we don't want to feel, we also shrink our capacity to feel love, joy, excitement, peace, happiness. You pick a word, whatever that emotion is, that's a higher frequency, a higher vibration.

00;08;50;05 - 00;09;18;05
Kelly Goetz
When we shrink the emotions, we don't want to feel, we shrink our whole bubble. So I want you to imagine there's a bubble around you. It's your comfort zone. And I started learning this back in 1999, that we all have our own comfort zone. And on a subconscious level, some of us have a much wider or bigger comfort zone.

00;09;18;07 - 00;09;52;19
Kelly Goetz
And as we push to the edge of it and say, okay, I want to go after dreams, goals or healing and we push the edge of it. Oftentimes that subconscious part of us might pull us back, snap us back into reality. Oh, nope. You can't get that big. So I realized about a month after my my loss, my tragedy, I realized, wow, this anger that I'm feeling today is intense.

00;09;52;21 - 00;10;00;11
Kelly Goetz
What meaning can I give it? How can I be grateful for this right now?

00;10;00;13 - 00;10;21;11
Kelly Goetz
And when I came to the conclusion that that gave me the signal that I was alive and I was feeling in my body, and then when I chose to say, all right, bring it on. Let me feel everything that I'm feeling. Bring it on. Let me feel the grief. Let me feel the anger. Let me feel the sadness.

00;10;21;13 - 00;10;55;15
Kelly Goetz
Bring it on. Because if I can feel this something in me, something new that I would ultimately get to feel love, joy, happiness in such a more rewarding way that I would someday go, wow, it was worth it all. All this pain, all this sadness that I embraced and I was grateful for is letting me have a hope and a joy someday.

00;10;55;22 - 00;11;14;10
Kelly Goetz
Maybe not in that moment, maybe not right now. You mean right now you can't get to it in this moment. But that doesn't mean that you won't get to it later. If you can truly allow yourself to feel, to heal.

00;11;14;12 - 00;11;41;21
Kelly Goetz
I remember that moment like it was yesterday, making a decision that I was going to feel all of it. That I was going to be grateful for anger, grateful for sadness. Grateful for grief. Even though it was raw and it was painful because that was going to give me a much bigger capacity to feel joy and love, even if in the moment.

00;11;41;21 - 00;11;50;22
Kelly Goetz
I didn't know when that was coming. I didn't know when it was coming.

00;11;50;25 - 00;12;19;29
Kelly Goetz
Being grateful and feeling all of our experiences and all of our emotions, and making a choice to do something different with it, even if it's to go get a new tool, is so powerful. You don't have to have all the answers. You don't have to know where you're going or how are you going to get there. But everything starts with a choice, a conscious choice to say, you know what?

00;12;20;01 - 00;12;47;17
Kelly Goetz
I don't know where this is going. I don't know what to do with this. Maybe it's I'm going to go take a boxing class, and I'm going to get all that anger and frustration out of my body. What I would learn two months later, I would start to be exposed to, Chinese herbs and Chinese acupuncture. And I went there thinking, all right, I really want to get pregnant.

00;12;47;19 - 00;13;15;19
Kelly Goetz
My friend told me of another friend that had gotten pregnant using acupuncture. I was willing to try anything. I was 42 and I had no no idea if the odds were with me or against me to get pregnant. But if I listened to any of the statistics, my ads weren't looking so good, so I did. I said, okay, I'm going to go investigate Chinese herbs and acupuncture.

00;13;15;19 - 00;13;26;18
Kelly Goetz
I know nothing about it. It is out of my comfort zone. The worst thing that could happen is I would choose that. It wasn't right for me.

00;13;26;20 - 00;13;47;14
Kelly Goetz
I remember meeting with Doctor Guo for the first time two months after my last, and he started, holding my wrist and looking at my tongue. I had no idea what the gentleman was doing. I had no idea how old he was. I figured he was probably in his 70s. Now that I know he passed last year in his 80s.

00;13;47;14 - 00;14;11;22
Kelly Goetz
Beautiful man. Just a lovely man. He must have been if 18 years ago. He must have been in his late 60s. So as we're sitting in his office, I remember saying to him, you know, he's just holding my wrist. Can you tell me what you're doing? And he looked at me. He shook his head and he said, and then his English.

00;14;11;22 - 00;14;41;04
Kelly Goetz
That was very strongly overlaid with a Chinese action. He said, there's no I can't explain this to you. There's this too much here. And I thought, okay, but I was curious. I wanted to know. And then he shook his head at me and I was like, why are you shaking your head? And he said, he said, you should feel the grief that be in the grief.

00;14;41;07 - 00;15;13;04
Kelly Goetz
What does that possibly mean? I have this belief system that because I had lost a child and I was grieving, I was meant to be in the grief. It had only happened two months ago. And I said, aren't I supposed to feel grief? Isn't this what happens when you lose somebody? And he said, yes, you feel the grief, but you shouldn't be in the grief.

00;15;13;04 - 00;15;41;16
Kelly Goetz
And what I think he was trying to tell me, and I can't be certain, is that I had gotten stuck. The energy and the emotion of grief was not moving, but I didn't know at the time. And I since now know quite well is that in Chinese medicine, the lung meridian, it is the meridian that, that works with grief.

00;15;41;18 - 00;16;11;27
Kelly Goetz
And when it gets stuck, it can be over energized. And so I was in this over energized place with grief. And the other side, when things are more in harmony and balance, is inspiration. So on some level, I was guiding myself in that moment of feeling anger at such a high level, I was guiding myself to find some inspiration.

00;16;11;29 - 00;16;43;02
Kelly Goetz
And yet, because there was some holding patterns in my body energetically with the emotions, and because I wasn't fully processing or letting go of this emotion of grief, it was over energy. So it's like there's this whole dynamics going on within my body and in my energy field. I'll never forget that moment when he shook his head at me and he said, you should feel the grief, not be in the grief.

00;16;43;05 - 00;17;22;02
Kelly Goetz
I couldn't process it because in my mind, when somebody dies, most people are really in pain. Most people are really hurting, and I don't think somebody dies and we're not meant to hurt that. Don't misunderstand me. I don't think that's the case either. And I also think, though, being stuck in it can be really damaging and harmful to our bodies, to our organs, to our muscles, to our immune system.

00;17;22;04 - 00;17;50;17
Kelly Goetz
Being under stress for long, long periods of time can really impact our immune system. So in that moment in time, even though I have no clue what he was talking about, as I'm investigating Chinese herbs, and I said to him, okay, I'm going to, what do I have to lose? I'm going to take the Chinese herbs. And then I asked him questions about acupuncture, and I said, well, I knew nothing about acupuncture.

00;17;50;17 - 00;18;20;25
Kelly Goetz
And I certainly wasn't excited to have a bunch of tiny little needles. Animal. But I said to him, okay, tell me about acupuncture. Will that help? Because one thing I was certain about is the quicker I got out of feeling so horrible, the quicker I could rediscover joy and happiness and love at a greater capacity. So I asked him, what about acupuncture?

00;18;20;28 - 00;18;48;14
Kelly Goetz
Would that help? Now, to my surprise, he wasn't like insisting that I do acupuncture, but he said yes, it can help. It can speed things up. I had no idea if it would. There was a cost associated to it. And I decided, you know what? I'd never done? Acupuncture. Some of these other women have come to acupuncturists. They've gotten pregnant.

00;18;48;17 - 00;19;16;16
Kelly Goetz
What do I have to lose? So I scheduled myself for weekly acupuncture appointments. Still not knowing what it was all about at first. Not really noticing anything with the Chinese herbs or the acupuncture. Because guess what? Energy is subtle. Energy takes time to shift and to change.

00;19;16;19 - 00;19;41;26
Kelly Goetz
And yet I committed. I didn't mind it the first time. The needles were so tiny. You really don't feel them. And I just said, okay, I'm going to see where it goes and to see where it goes. I'll never forget four months or two months later. And there were some other things that overlaid on this, and I'll talk about that another time.

00;19;41;28 - 00;20;13;11
Kelly Goetz
But two months later, when I discovered that I was pregnant before going to my doctor and really, you know, getting their instructions of what they wanted me to do and not do, one of the things they were going to ultimately tell me not to do was to not have acupuncture. Now, at the time, with my limited understanding of of the meridian system and my limited understanding of acupuncture.

00;20;13;13 - 00;20;56;28
Kelly Goetz
When my doctors ultimately discovered that I was pregnant again so quickly in four months, actually at 42, naturally, when my doctors discovered that one of the things they said is they didn't want me to do acupuncture because acupuncture could be, dangerous in terms of being, losing the pregnancy. I didn't know what questions to ask, and I didn't realize at that moment in time I was actually on the right path that the acupuncture would actually have served me really well.

00;20;57;01 - 00;21;32;20
Kelly Goetz
I chose to listen to my doctor because I had decided that they were going to be my primary caregivers, so I chose to follow those instructions. However, before I had gotten those instructions, I had gone in for one last acupuncture appointment. And as I'm laying on the table with needles all over me from head to toe, and I'm laying on my back and I'm just endless and peaceful, what I find is acupressure, which is what I do for a living.

00;21;32;22 - 00;22;01;29
Kelly Goetz
Acupuncture can be very, very calming and soothing because it's helping the energy system move. So if there's stuck energy, like I had stuck grief and I had stuck anger that particular day, it helps your energy move those things through your body. So now there I am. I'm laying on the table, I'm totally relaxed, and I went into a twilight.

00;22;02;01 - 00;22;32;09
Kelly Goetz
I love the Twilight Zone because in twilight you're awake, but you're starting to see pictures or colors. Sometimes my clients report colors. Sometimes they see pictures, sometimes they see really, you know, a doodle. Things like Bugs Bunny. You know, I don't know, it's different for everybody. But in Twilight, you're in this really relaxed state. You are awake, you're alert, but you're kind of like having a lucid, wakeful dream.

00;22;32;11 - 00;22;55;26
Kelly Goetz
And in that moment, while I'm having this dream, all of a sudden, if you think about the third eye, you hear that word, think about how many times have you heard people say, oh, the third eye? Maybe they will explain it well, but the third eye sits between like sits between your your actual eyes in the middle of your, your forehead or the middle of your eyebrows.

00;22;56;02 - 00;23;28;28
Kelly Goetz
Right in there. And all of a sudden it was like something opened up. And I'm now like, almost like transported. Except I'm still in the table. I know I'm on the table, and all of a sudden I see this beautiful baby looking at me. And the baby has crystal blue eyes and porcelain skin. Most beautiful skin, crystal blue eyes, most beautiful blue eyes.

00;23;29;00 - 00;23;51;10
Kelly Goetz
And I'm looking at this baby as I'm laying on this table. And I'm forgotten that I'm laying on a table. And I've forgotten where I was. But I'm looking at this beautiful baby with crystal blue eyes. And I'm noticing the baby is blinking. And I'm noticing we're almost nose to nose. But we have a little distance between us.

00;23;51;12 - 00;24;16;12
Kelly Goetz
And I'm just noticing the beauty of this baby. And I was like, wow. It was the most beautiful, peaceful, loving, amazing picture of a baby looking at me, blinking with crystal blue eyes.

00;24;16;14 - 00;24;51;26
Kelly Goetz
In that moment, I remembered where I was. The moment that I realized I am on an acupressure table with needles all over my body. In that moment, the baby disappeared. The vision disappeared. And I was like, oh crap. I wanted to see that image. I wanted to see that baby disappeared. And now I'm laying there with all these needles from head to toe on my body.

00;24;51;26 - 00;24;58;00
Kelly Goetz
And I was like, what just happened?

00;24;58;03 - 00;25;27;26
Kelly Goetz
Was it the baby I lost? Montana? Who was it? The new baby. I had no idea. But the hope that it gave me. And seeing my third eye and seeing this beautiful image and this beautiful baby looking at me with crystal blue eyes was unbelievably amazing. I could not wait to call my husband and share with him. Honey, Carl, you're not going to believe what just happened.

00;25;27;29 - 00;25;50;02
Kelly Goetz
I just saw this beautiful baby in my third eye, and the baby had crystal blue eyes and porcelain skin, and the baby was drinking at me. And then I realized what it was, and it vanished. While I was laying and having my acupuncture. And my husband was in the middle of his day, and he was like, you know, Kelly, I don't have those experiences.

00;25;50;05 - 00;26;15;28
Kelly Goetz
I have no idea what you're talking about. And I but what I had, even though he was a little bit in disbelief and didn't know what that was all about, I was like, you know what? What's all the hope I need today? That's hope. That's love. It's joy. It's excitement. My comfort zone had expanded.

00;26;16;00 - 00;26;43;14
Kelly Goetz
Fast forward, our daughter was born and about three months. You know, I'm back at the gym. And what I started noticing I had forgotten about that moment in time where my third eye had opened up on the table. It was the last time I would have acupuncture until later. I would learn more about Chinese medicine. Now I know I find the right acupuncturist.

00;26;43;14 - 00;27;21;17
Kelly Goetz
It's a good thing. So now my daughter has been born and we're back at the gym and I had forgotten what I had seen. And I'm standing in the gym, I'm in line to check in, and there's a couple about, I don't know, ten feet away from me. And somehow they caught my daughter's blue eyes. She was all bundled up in a pink cozy blanket, and all you could see was this little face peeking through and her crystal blue eyes.

00;27;21;19 - 00;27;52;16
Kelly Goetz
And as they crossed over to me, they said, wow, she has the most beautiful blue eyes. And suddenly I remembered, oh my gosh, they're talking about her crystal blue eyes. I saw these eyes. I saw these eyes nine months before when I needed the hope, when I needed the love, when I needed the joy.

00;27;52;18 - 00;28;27;26
Kelly Goetz
And I was in awe of the wonder of life and grateful for the infinite possibilities we each had every single day. That couple was not the only couple that we can't comment on. My daughter's eyes. It happened all the time where people would walk over to me to say, wow, she has beautiful crystal blue eyes. To this day she has beautiful crystal blue eyes.

00;28;27;28 - 00;29;09;02
Kelly Goetz
My message to you today is if you are feeling anger, sadness, heartache, depression, even. Give yourself love. Let yourself feel it to heal it. If it's anger, make the sound of like shouldn't, should this hit whatever the sound is for you. Make the sound of sh sh sh sh. If it's anger.

00;29;09;05 - 00;29;47;19
Kelly Goetz
When you make that sound, you're helping your meridian system that feeds your liver and your gallbladder. Organs that are part of the wood nature, part of spring, you are helping release the energy of anger. And if you are feeling grief. And it's overwhelming and you don't know what to do with it, make the sound of a tea kettle like it goes.

00;29;47;22 - 00;30;23;26
Kelly Goetz
And keep going. Make that sound of a tea kettle as if that tea kettle was sitting there waiting for somebody to give it attention. And when you make that sound of a tea kettle with that snake like sound, you're helping release the energy of grief. I didn't have these tools or techniques when I first started my journey. I want to give them to you, though, so that you can do something different with the energy and the emotions that you're experiencing.

00;30;23;28 - 00;30;59;06
Kelly Goetz
So the really quick sh sound for anger or a long and drawn out like a tea kettle for grief, will allow you to release some of that energy in a really safe and helpful way, so that you can draw in more peace in the world. Energy and more inspiration.

00;30;59;09 - 00;31;36;24
Kelly Goetz
Allow yourself to be inspired by the infinite possibilities of life, no matter what. That is. I guarantee these painful moments that stink. I wanted to say something else, but I didn't. These painful moments that suck, they really do. And I don't like that word, but they suck. If you allow it to grow, you, and if you allow it to teach you, you will find yourself on the other side, helping somebody else that needs your wisdom.

00;31;36;27 - 00;32;04;29
Kelly Goetz
Wherever you're at today, I just wish you infinite love and gratitude and let you know that I look forward to seeing you on the other side, because you too will discover you have a gift and strange wrapping paper. It's currently unfolding and somehow you'll be helping somebody else when you least expect it may not be now. You might not be interested now.

00;32;05;01 - 00;32;12;18
Kelly Goetz
Some day it's going to support you in ways you never could have imagined. Have an amazing day right?