Episode 6 - The Gift of Finding Your Voice

 Kelly explores the transformative journey of finding and owning one’s voice. She reflects on her struggles growing up as a middle child in a loving yet hardworking family, where she often felt loved but not truly understood. Like many women, Kelly fell into people-pleasing patterns, struggling to speak up, and feeling unheard despite her efforts.

Through personal anecdotes, she shares how her belief that she wasn’t "smart enough" led her to compare herself to others—particularly her academically gifted sister. These deep-seated insecurities followed her into adulthood, affecting her career and personal relationships. She recounts moments in her professional life when she had innovative ideas but held back, waiting for validation from others—only to see those ideas recognized months later when presented by someone else.

Kelly's turning point came when she attended a personal development seminar, where she learned about personal leadership—a mindset shift that changed everything. Instead of playing the roles of victim, martyr, or villain in life’s challenges, she realized she had the power to reframe her beliefs, take ownership of her experiences, and shift her perspective.

One of the most profound lessons she shares is that our biggest struggles often carry hidden gifts. She illustrates this through her own journey and through stories of clients who, after facing hardship, discovered their strength and resilience.

Kelly encourages listeners to challenge limiting beliefs, embrace their natural talents, and start speaking up—one step at a time. She reminds us that we are not waiting for permission to be heard; we already have everything we need within us.

Key Takeaways:

• Your struggles shape your strengths – The challenges you face can become the foundation of your greatest growth.
• Comparison is a thief of confidence – Your unique journey and skills matter, even if they look different from others.
• Personal leadership changes everything – Instead of waiting for approval, step into your power and take action.
• Your voice is valuable – Speak up, practice, and trust that you have something important to share.
• Growth starts with small steps – Begin with easier conversations and gradually build confidence in expressing yourself.

Kelly wraps up with an invitation to reflect on a past challenge that shaped you and to start practicing the art of speaking up. She reminds listeners that, 

🌟 “You have more power than you think.” – Kelly Goetz

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Do you have a story of resilience that has led you to self-discovery, transformation and discovered a new purpose?  What guided you through the difficult times?  

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With Infinite Love & Gratitude

Kelly

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Transcript

00;00;03;04 - 00;00;31;10
Kelly Goetz
Wow, the sun is certainly shining. What a glorious day! I'm excited to be recording about a subject near and dear to my heart, and probably the number one reason that I stepped into my personal growth and healing work 25 years ago, which really set me up to be able to handle some of life's most difficult things. That I had no idea that were coming.

00;00;31;13 - 00;00;55;16
Kelly Goetz
And what that was, was, you know, growing up as the middle child, you know, we all have those things that people say about the middle child, right? Well, I grew up in a really great family. Beautiful parents. Hardworking. You heard me talk a little bit about my dad's nature and my mom's nature. To be really hard working. Very generous people.

00;00;55;16 - 00;01;28;15
Kelly Goetz
Very kind people. And definitely, really great role models. And so one of the struggles I had growing up, though, was the ability to speak up and show up in a way that I felt proud about, that I felt good about that. I felt heard and understood. And I always struggled with that. That concept of, I knew I was loved, but I didn't really feel that I was understood.

00;01;28;17 - 00;01;53;01
Kelly Goetz
And I think that's a common theme for a lot of women. I don't think it's unique to me. I think a lot of the women that I have worked with, there is that sense of being a people pleaser, and that you were meant to please other people. And if we're not doing that, or we're creating conflict or any kind of waves, it doesn't always go too well.

00;01;53;03 - 00;02;30;28
Kelly Goetz
And I see a lot of my clients, they really try really, really hard to be the givers to help their families, their loved ones, their friends, their husbands, whoever it is. And one of the things that I always get excited about is that when I start seeing my clients really start finding their voice and being able to speak up and show up, and I don't really love the word boundaries, but to create healthy boundaries for themselves.

00;02;31;00 - 00;03;11;12
Kelly Goetz
When I see that starting to happen, I know that they have rediscovered a part of themselves that they have probably shut down or or kept quiet for years. For me, that desire to to speak up and to be heard, and when I didn't feel that I was being heard, I was frustrated a lot of the time really led to the beginning of my personal development and my seeking alternative solutions to actually figure out why I was so frustrated, or why I was having such a difficult time.

00;03;11;14 - 00;03;41;29
Kelly Goetz
So there was two things working against me, and maybe you can relate to this. The first thing was, is I did not think that I was quote unquote smart. I have a much more creative brain. I think that's true for a lot of people. I'm extremely creative. In fact, my degree in college was Bachelor of Science in Environmental Design, which is basically interior design.

00;03;42;02 - 00;04;10;05
Kelly Goetz
So I had really creative mind. I didn't learn the way other people learned in school. The way school was designed back when I was in grade school, junior high, high school. It wasn't really designed to speak to the different sensory styles, but now more and more schools have learned to adapt some of the learning to different learning styles.

00;04;10;07 - 00;04;34;06
Kelly Goetz
I know my daughter, for example, has a blended class where she's in the classroom a couple days a week and a couple days a week. She gets to work on her own. That particular class doesn't work for everyone, but if you have the right skill set and if you are the right personality, it's a great way to learn and a great way to grow.

00;04;34;09 - 00;05;06;11
Kelly Goetz
So the normal way that, you know, we learned in school, I used to see my sister, for example. Really smart, really book smart. It's like she just knew what information she needed to retain in her brain. She didn't have to study for hours on end. She didn't have to memorize anything. It just seemed in watching her. It just seemed like things came really, really natural and really easy for her.

00;05;06;14 - 00;05;37;14
Kelly Goetz
Now I have it. You know, I know from talking to other people that really excellent grades that just because it looks easy doesn't mean that they're not working. And there's one person out here that if they're listening, I'm speaking to you. You're that person that works really hard and is really dedicated to your studies, and you end up getting straight A's.

00;05;37;16 - 00;06;03;22
Kelly Goetz
And everybody around you says, wow, there's so smart. Let's come really easy. If that's you, I want you to know I'm not here to minimize that, because I can see that work ethic in our son, who's about to graduate as a mechanical engineer. I see the tremendous work ethic and the tremendous amount of discipline he has to putting his school work first.

00;06;03;25 - 00;06;30;01
Kelly Goetz
So when he gets a great grade and other people say, hey, that was so easy for you and it's not easy for me, he's often said to me, well, I'm working at it and there's no doubt about it. He's working at it. For me, though, I didn't have those great study skill sets, meaning I didn't know to make acronyms.

00;06;30;02 - 00;06;57;27
Kelly Goetz
I didn't know to create study groups. I didn't know a lot of the skills and the techniques that would have really supported me. And doing an easier job in. I really didn't figure that out until later, when I was an adult and I was studying my first holistic practice, which I will talk about at a later date. Instead.

00;06;58;00 - 00;07;29;20
Kelly Goetz
What I got really good at doing, and maybe you can relate to this when I got really good at doing is the comparison game. My beautiful sister, 13 months older than me. We were easily compared by other people. You know who's smarter, who's prettier, who's skinnier? Well, who's liked more? You name it, we were in the eyes of the beholder, and we were compared.

00;07;29;22 - 00;08;01;13
Kelly Goetz
Worse yet, was not that other people compared us, because really, what other people thought really doesn't matter. And I'm quite close to my sister. I'm really grateful. Take a close, tight relationship that we had a growing up, being so close in age. I had a lot of jealousy. I had a lot of comparison of myself, and the big thing that I compared was my inability to express what I wanted to say in a way that could be heard and understood.

00;08;01;15 - 00;08;30;19
Kelly Goetz
I would see her having no problems. She was quite confident and I would see her having no problems communicating within our family. The second thing that I compared myself to her was how smart I was or was not. My sister could easily take any subject, barely study from my perception. Whether that's true or not, I really don't know.

00;08;30;19 - 00;08;59;09
Kelly Goetz
But as a kid growing up, especially in the high school years, it appeared that she didn't really have to study and she would always get straight A's. And then there was me. I did have to study online. I didn't really have the skill set of how to study in a way that was efficient. So my way of studying would be to try to memorize everything.

00;08;59;11 - 00;09;25;18
Kelly Goetz
And if you've ever tried to memorize anything, that's really not the way to know material. I would be much later in life that I would learn that I'm a real experiential learning. I need to really hear the information. I need to hear it. I need to write it. So I had that tactical learning and then I can see it.

00;09;25;20 - 00;09;47;02
Kelly Goetz
Oftentimes I will look at my notes again, but I'll have written copious notes whether you can read them or not. It's another story, but I will write as fast as they're talking, as fast as my hand can move, because there's something from hearing it auditory to now physically having it in my hands when I'm writing and seeing it on paper.

00;09;47;05 - 00;10;18;19
Kelly Goetz
That visual component really helps me learn. Plus, those three things, I'm creating an experience. Even more important, though, is the experience of the information in and of itself, whether it's, building a relationship, whether it was developing a facility management plan, my first job, whatever it was. That experience of going through the process is how I learned best.

00;10;18;21 - 00;10;50;02
Kelly Goetz
And I think for some people, and maybe it's you that might be how you learn best, having both the intellectual and the experiential, component to your learning. Regardless. I didn't quite have that at that time. I didn't have the tools. And so when I struggled with trying to memorize everything, thinking that that was the way to best learn was to memorize, and that didn't quite work.

00;10;50;05 - 00;11;23;05
Kelly Goetz
I took my BS, and every once in a while it d to mean that I'm not smart. And so I created a belief system. And maybe you may have created a belief system in yourself. Maybe you didn't choose the doctor's path or the lawyer's path or, you know, medicine path. Maybe you chose something completely different. And in that choice, maybe there was a part of you that thought, oh, well, I'm not as good as someone else.

00;11;23;07 - 00;11;47;11
Kelly Goetz
I mean, if you think about the game of life, for example, in the game of Life, everybody wants to pull the lawyer card or the doctor card or the accountant card, because those careers make the most money, right? So we all played that game of life when we were growing up. At least we did in my house. And I know my kids had the opportunity to play it.

00;11;47;13 - 00;12;22;09
Kelly Goetz
And you always want who's going to make the best salary, even if that's not the career of choice that you would choose in the long haul. So my journey of comparison and my journey of people pleasing gave me two belief systems. Number one, what I had to say was not important. Number two, I'm not smart enough. And we all have that underlying current in most everybody that I've met has that underlying current of I'm not good enough.

00;12;22;12 - 00;12;51;12
Kelly Goetz
It seems to be that universal belief system that many people have. And every once in a while you'll meet somebody that's never had that concept. And they're lucky. They're blessed that that's the case. So now here I am. Fast forward. I've somehow made it through college. I've made it through high school. I've made it through college all the while with this belief that I'm not smart enough.

00;12;51;15 - 00;13;30;04
Kelly Goetz
Somehow I still graduated from Purdue University with the Bachelor of Science. But I'm still thinking I'm not smart enough. And how that would show up for me and and connect yourself to this. Let's think about if you've ever done this. Have you ever been in a situation where you had a great idea? And rather than presenting your idea to your coworkers, some part of you held back, waiting for the right moment in time, or maybe you even started to share it and then something made you shut down.

00;13;30;06 - 00;13;57;25
Kelly Goetz
Maybe that's one way for somebody else. It might be avoiding conflict altogether. Struggling to find the words to say, hey, you broke this agreement with me. This is how it made me feel that you didn't show up. Or that you canceled on me at the last minute, but instead, maybe you shut down. Maybe you got mad. You just said, hey, I'm not going to ever schedule with that person again.

00;13;57;27 - 00;14;19;02
Kelly Goetz
Whatever it is for you, someone else that's struggling to speak up might just rebel. And you never have a conflict for fear that they can't win the conflict, or that what they have to say is not important. Maybe you don't go after the job or the opportunity that you really, really want because you're afraid to ask for it.

00;14;19;03 - 00;14;55;15
Kelly Goetz
Maybe you don't ask for the raise, or you don't ask your partner, your spouse, your friend to support you and do something for you because you don't want to get rejected. And maybe you're thinking, oh, I'm not important enough to have somebody else support me in that way. Whatever it is, I somehow managed to go through all of my high school and graduate from college, and the whole time I was in college, I was like, you know, I think what I really want to do is I want to be the person that makes connections, that brings opportunity back to my company.

00;14;55;15 - 00;15;27;19
Kelly Goetz
Now. First job, no problems. Thanks for smooth sailing. I was in the right job at the right time and things just worked for me and on some level, because there was this vision of really communicating and connecting to people. At the same time, I had this struggle with really fully speaking up. By the time I got to my second job, and I had been invited to work for them as their director of marketing, which really meant my job was to call on interior design firms.

00;15;27;19 - 00;15;55;03
Kelly Goetz
My job was to call on real estate brokers. My job was to build relationships and trust. I was extremely good at it. I was very confident in my ability to be in a room with a lot of different people and find heart connections. I was really good at those things. But here's where the rubber met the road. We would be in a meeting and we'd be all consulting on a large project.

00;15;55;06 - 00;16;13;08
Kelly Goetz
And in those large projects, often what would happen is I would have this intuitive sense that we needed to take certain steps. You need to call and build a relationship with this person. I'll build a relationship with this person. He needs to build a relationship with this person. And we're going to circle the wagon and then this is all going to come together.

00;16;13;11 - 00;16;40;15
Kelly Goetz
I would present my idea, and then I would look around the room waiting for everyone to go, you got it, Kelly. That's exactly what we need to do. There were times where I would present those ideas, sometimes for months, that same idea, because it wouldn't go away. And then somebody else in the company six months later would all of a sudden have this epiphany, and they would present the idea I'd been presenting for six months now.

00;16;40;15 - 00;17;09;07
Kelly Goetz
My first supervisor would say to me, Kelly, why are you so upset about that? That's the idea you wanted. That's the idea we're going with. You should be happy. I was frustrated, so in those silent moments, I would reinforce and take it to mean that I wasn't smart enough. What I had to say was an important. If I was smarter, maybe I could present this idea in a way that could be heard.

00;17;09;10 - 00;17;32;01
Kelly Goetz
I had all these stories going on in the background and and no, I wasn't excited that we finally were moving forward with the idea, because on some level, a part of me wanted to be acknowledged and that wasn't happening. So I was just plain frustrated. So now here I am working for this furniture dealership that I really was like one of my favorite jobs.

00;17;32;04 - 00;18;05;08
Kelly Goetz
And this is happening, and it's happening on a repeated level, and I'm looking at my entire life, I'm looking at my boyfriend, I'm looking at my family, and I am just frustrated. I'm frustrated with all of it now, on the outside, looking in, I look attractive. I'm physically fit, I have good friends, I have a nice family of origin, even had this boyfriend that adores me and wants to marry me only.

00;18;05;08 - 00;18;37;22
Kelly Goetz
I'm so internally frustrated thinking I'm not smart enough, thinking I'm not good enough and just feeling a sense of internal disappointment and frustration. A friend, a coworker, said, you know, I went to this seminar. You might be interested in it because I once felt similar things that you felt that was the game changer for me. I had never heard of personal growth and development or leadership.

00;18;37;24 - 00;19;06;25
Kelly Goetz
I don't even know if it was talked about much. I know psychology wasn't as big a deal when I was younger. What I did know was it appeared that there was an answer for me, and that there was someplace I could go and attend and learn new tools, new skills, and this painful frustration and anger and disappointment that I was feeling on the inside, that somehow I could burst that bubble and have it stop.

00;19;06;25 - 00;19;32;05
Kelly Goetz
But I didn't know that I now understand is I had that to a place where I had created enough pain, there was enough leverage. I wanted to do something different. My first mentor, Jeff Page, would say, do you always do what you've always done? You'll always get what you've always gotten. So I completely disrupted my entire schedule in life.

00;19;32;07 - 00;20;00;01
Kelly Goetz
Within a matter of days, I think I talked to them on the phone on a Tuesday or Wednesday, canceled my plans, and showed up to this seminar completely clueless as to what I was walking into. As I started listening to him talking about the different roles that we play, the victim role where on some level, we think that our circumstances are somebody else's fault.

00;20;00;03 - 00;20;24;27
Kelly Goetz
The martyr, that people pleaser that does things for everyone is all things to everyone, which I had quickly fallen into. How much harder could I work? How much faster can I produced? How many more leads can I generate for this sales team? Maybe if I do a little bit more, maybe someday they'll go, oh yeah, let's listen to her idea.

00;20;24;29 - 00;20;44;27
Kelly Goetz
So I had learned to become a martyr. First I was a victim, and then I learned to become a martyr. And then there's the third role. It's the villain. The villain just explodes and gets angry. Or if you're a kid, you take your ball and you go home. And then there's this fourth roll that I would learn about for the first time.

00;20;44;29 - 00;21;11;03
Kelly Goetz
And that fourth role is personal leadership. Now, it's different from regular leadership, positional leadership that we often think about, like, you know, growing up, when I would think about the term leadership, I always thought, well, it's the the leader of the club, it's the boss. It's the, you know, head of the family. They're the leader. But Jeff and Sue presented a different idea.

00;21;11;05 - 00;21;43;07
Kelly Goetz
And that idea was that no matter how difficult a situation or circumstance is, and no matter whether you are in a position of leadership or not, you have the opportunity and every single relationship, first and foremost with yourself and then with others to stand in a place of personal leadership. What that means is it's never about the other person.

00;21;43;09 - 00;22;14;16
Kelly Goetz
If you're angry, if you're frustrated and life isn't working, it's not about your circumstances. It's not about the other person. It's about a part of you that has created a story or a belief system about that person or about that situation. I also learned that once you recognize that it's not about the other person. And let me tell you, I still have my days where I want to make it about the other person.

00;22;14;19 - 00;22;40;03
Kelly Goetz
But once you start to understand that you have the opportunity at every single moment of your life to choose how you're going to be, how you're going to show up, what you're going to do different, and even change your beliefs about it. Even just as simple as saying, what can I learn right now about this situation? What is this telling me right now?

00;22;40;07 - 00;23;12;12
Kelly Goetz
And so this place of personal leadership was a brand new concept to me 25 years ago, where in any given moment, I could set the intention of what I wanted to create. So if I'm in a situation where I'm speaking up, for example, and I'm looking to other people to approve me or I'm looking to other people to agree with me, and I'm in that space of people pleasing.

00;23;12;14 - 00;23;39;04
Kelly Goetz
I'm not going to get very far. It's up to me. It's up to you to be heard and to find a way to make that happen. If somebody is not listening to you or somebody doesn't like your ideas, or if somebody is not giving you the raise, then what is it that you need to do or change or be so that you can create that rate?

00;23;39;06 - 00;24;13;17
Kelly Goetz
So they do listen to what you have to say. How do you pivot? How do you shift? I remember walking into that seminar feeling quite frustrated. I even thought I had this idea. And then I go to this seminar and then I'm going to come out of it. I'm going to quit my job, I'm going to quit my boyfriend, and I'm just going to start fresh instead, the things that were frustrating me at my office, I realized, were not really about anyone else.

00;24;13;19 - 00;24;48;04
Kelly Goetz
I walked in with the belief system that I wasn't smart enough and that my ideas didn't matter. Now I was well respected and well liked at that company. I know I did a good job. I'm very proud of the work I did there, but the piece and the gift that I got from that company was much deeper than recognizing all of the natural abilities that I had in building relationships and creating a rapport and making heart connections, and really serving my clients those things.

00;24;48;04 - 00;25;13;07
Kelly Goetz
I love doing their natural to me. But one of the gifts was that frustration that I was initially feeling, that frustration of, there it is again. I've shared my idea again for the sixth time. The 10th time. Nobody's noticing me. Nobody's hearing me. They all like working with me. They all like it when I bring projects to them.

00;25;13;10 - 00;25;41;29
Kelly Goetz
But in this case, they're not hearing me. When I walked away from that very first seminar, pathways for Successful Living, I went in as a victim. I went in as a martyr. And even sometimes the villain. And I quickly learned that every single human being plays those three roles. It's like something gets triggered from their subconscious or their past.

00;25;42;01 - 00;26;13;25
Kelly Goetz
They may not even know it's happening because most people are walking around somewhat unconscious. When I say unconscious, they're not aware of all the different ways that they're being stimulated and triggered on a day to day basis. So I walked in feeling like a victim, ready to quit it all because I'm not taking this anymore. And what I discovered about myself was I had limitless potential.

00;26;13;27 - 00;27;05;12
Kelly Goetz
You have limitless potential, whether you know it or not. You have the ability to shift and change every single relationship in your life, starting with the one that you have with yourself and then every other relationship collectively that you come in contact with. The fact of the matter is, it's never about the other person. So if it's never about the other person, and you have all you need within you right now and you have all the control changing your belief system and your mindset, how you see the world and breaking patterns, stories that are no longer serving you and completely change your life.

00;27;05;15 - 00;27;41;10
Kelly Goetz
I walked in as a victim and I walked out limitless, knowing I could create and do whatever it was I wanted to do. Did I have that belief system that I was smart yet? No. But I had this understanding that I had the choice that I could change any situation or circumstance. I would find myself quickly going through their advanced program, which was way intense, a lot of deep, deep soul searching and work there.

00;27;41;13 - 00;28;08;26
Kelly Goetz
And I remember getting to their leadership program and the leadership program, just like in every other program that I've been in, the leadership program usually is designed to master the skills that they're teaching in the seminar. And I'll never forget the moment came where I had the identical situation that I was creating in my work environment as a group.

00;28;08;26 - 00;28;36;14
Kelly Goetz
I don't know how many of us were there 30, 40, that certain, how many people were there. But as a group, we were trying to solve a problem and we were all throwing out ideas. And I remember I was sitting at the back of the room and I would raise my hand and I would stand up. I would share my idea, and everyone would look at me and crickets.

00;28;36;14 - 00;29;07;04
Kelly Goetz
I would get my crickets. And I was like, shoot, nobody approved. Nobody agreed. Nobody said a word. So I would sit back down. Well, I popped up again because I'm committed. I know this is the right thing to do. I don't even remember what the problem was, and I certainly don't remember the solution at the time. What I remember is all of a sudden I'm doing the exact same thing that I was doing in my work environment.

00;29;07;06 - 00;29;38;19
Kelly Goetz
Only here I'm with the facilitator that's observing and watching the whole dynamics, and I'm with a group of people that are all looking to grow and evolve in their own lives, and to grow and evolve with other people. Well, finally, we got to a point where Stu said, okay, let's let's assess what just happened. And the greatest gift she gave me that day was to look at me and say, oh.

00;29;38;21 - 00;30;13;05
Kelly Goetz
You have the answer. You said it the first time. Nobody responded to you. You're looking for their approval to tell you you're right. That part of me, that little girl that thought she wasn't smart, suddenly was playing right out. She said you actually had the answer you actually got from A to Z, and you saw it. You saw the answer and you're looking for approval.

00;30;13;08 - 00;30;38;19
Kelly Goetz
You're looking for permission so that they understand your answer. And you sat down once, and then you sat down again. And the whole time you had the answer. And what's getting in your way? It's waiting for all these people to tell you you're right. Waiting for all these people to approve of your idea.

00;30;38;21 - 00;30;50;27
Kelly Goetz
And what you really needed to do was walk to the front of the room and teach them. Teach them what you saw.

00;30;51;00 - 00;31;04;28
Kelly Goetz
Teach them what you saw. It never even occurred to me. Maybe I had something to teach.

00;31;05;00 - 00;31;34;05
Kelly Goetz
I thought in order to teach something to somebody else, or to demonstrate something to someone else, I simply thought they must be smarter than me. If they're not approving of my ideas. And what I know must not be smart enough, must not be good enough. My brain doesn't operate like an engineer's brain, but on some level, there's a lot of a lot of stuff in my brain.

00;31;34;05 - 00;32;17;29
Kelly Goetz
But it can figure out pretty quickly. That was the turning point for me to recognize that I had this intuitive ability that could call in ideas, understanding a visual sense of knowing and and sometimes I just had this intuitive gut instinct, and I'm a good picker of people, I'll tell you that. I'm usually right on. And so when Sue said you just needed to walk from the back of the room, show them what you're seeing.

00;32;18;01 - 00;32;40;25
Kelly Goetz
In your mind's eye. Because they didn't see it and they were not at the letter Z with me. They weren't they hadn't gone all the way to the end. There's no way they could have ever approved my idea because they didn't see what I saw. They didn't observe the situation from the same place I was observing. It instead.

00;32;40;27 - 00;33;22;06
Kelly Goetz
It didn't make sense to them. They didn't have the knowledge that I had. That was the beginning and the turning point of me recognizing I'm going to be a facilitator and a teacher someday, not in the school, but for something, something that speaks to my heart. I'm so grateful for that young woman 25 years ago. And if you look at that younger version of yourself, look at the lessons that younger version of you learned because they were frustrated, because they were angry, because they were sad.

00;33;22;08 - 00;34;00;08
Kelly Goetz
Recently, a couple months ago, I was listening to a client talk about her journey, and as she was explaining her journey and all that she had been through, she had gone through some abuse. And in that process of going through some abuse, she made a real conscious effort to choose a husband that was not abusive. And yet she still discovered that there was a part of her not speaking up.

00;34;00;10 - 00;34;34;19
Kelly Goetz
A part of her was shutting down, so she went on her own journey many years ago at a time that it was not, it was not the thing to do. She went on her own journey to figure out how she could communicate, speak up before she ever had kids. And as she was explaining her journey to me, all of a sudden I saw all the dots in her life start to line up.

00;34;34;22 - 00;35;12;27
Kelly Goetz
And I said to her, wow, what an incredible journey. Do you have any idea how this particular abuse here set you up for success? Way over here. In this case, I was able to point out all the different ways that the difficult times in her life actually prepared her to do something incredible. She actually was living a gift and strange wrapping paper.

00;35;12;29 - 00;35;49;17
Kelly Goetz
She actually had supported her daughters in a different way because of all the ways she struggled to speak up and found herself in abusive relationships. I think everything that happens. For us, not necessarily to us. And yes, there's no question there are people that do bad things. What we do with those bad things, those challenges, those circumstances, what we do and how we decide, what do I want to do now?

00;35;49;17 - 00;36;19;09
Kelly Goetz
How do I want to grow now? I can help you define who you are for the future and give you the opportunity to find that internal voice, a God given voice that you came into this world screaming with hope. You can look back to that part of you that maybe struggled and came out of it on the other side.

00;36;19;12 - 00;36;47;05
Kelly Goetz
I know for me, that level of frustration got to a point that you decided to do the craziest of qualities and go to some seminar that you knew nothing about with a bunch of strangers to walk in feeling like a victim, thinking you're breaking up with everything, and to walk out feeling limitless, knowing you could change how you felt in your relationship with your boyfriend.

00;36;47;08 - 00;37;18;29
Kelly Goetz
It was never about him in the first place. You could change your relationship with your parents because it was never about them in the first place. And you didn't even have to quit the job that you liked so much, as it was never about them in the first place. You have more power than you think, so my invitation to you this week is to take a time and look back to one of those challenges.

00;37;19;02 - 00;38;00;12
Kelly Goetz
For me, it's been about speaking up and showing up in a different way. People are often surprised when I say hey to get up and speak or teach in front of a class. I often get a little bit of nervousness, anxiety. They think, oh, you're confident. And I think I built a muscle that I can now stand up on a moment's notice and deliver content, a presentation, or connect the dots and help other people simplify the information that they're seeing and they're experiencing.

00;38;00;15 - 00;38;35;28
Kelly Goetz
All because I practice. Being in that personal leader and speaking up when I was scared and uncertain. I invite you to start practicing speaking up, and I would start with the ones that seem a little less scary. And then I would build your muscle with the ones that look a little scarier. And the more you do it, the more you're going to discover that you had everything you needed all along.

00;38;36;00 - 00;38;43;15
Kelly Goetz
Just like Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz, she always had what she needed to go home. Have a great day. Bye bye.