Kristi Mickelson: A Mother's Crusade in Education and Advocacy for Autistic Children

When Kristy Mickelsen, a romance author turned fierce advocate, first noticed the early signs of autism in her children, she embarked on a journey many parents can relate to—one filled with determination, love, and the pursuit of understanding. 
Our heartfelt conversation with Kristi in today's episode is not just a story of parenting autistic children, but a deeper look into the fabric of family, advocacy, and the power of relentless support. 
She captures the essence of her fight against a system that underestimated her kids, revealing a mother's unwavering dedication to altering the trajectory of their lives, even if it meant starting her own school to cater to their educational needs.

Navigating life with children on the autism spectrum brings its unique set of challenges and triumphs, as Kristy eloquently illustrates through the intricacies of her son's sensory processing disorder and her daughter's auditory processing difficulties. 
The family dynamic, punctuated by adaptability and education, is a testament to the resilience inherent in families like Kristy's. 
They've turned obstacles into opportunities for growth, and the close bond between her children showcases the beauty and depth of sibling relationships formed under such circumstances. 
Kristy's narrative encourages us to educate ourselves about autism and shows us the profound impact that knowledge and empathy can have on changing perceptions and strengthening connections.

As we part ways with Kristy Mickelsen, her story leaves us inspired, reminding us that change often starts with a single individual's experience. 
As listeners, we're privy to the daily realities for families with autistic children, from sensory-sensitive lifestyle adaptations to the nurturing of special interests that provide solace and joy. 
Kristy's journey underscores the significance of changing one life at a time, and as your host, I am humbled to share these transformative tales with you. 
If Kristy's story moves you, know that there are many more voices waiting to be heard, and we invite you to continue joining us as we uncover them together in future episodes.

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intro/outro music bed written by T. Wild
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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:05

Welcome to why Not Me, the World? Podcast, hosted by Tony Mantor, broadcasting from Music City, usa, nashville, tennessee. Join us as our guests tell us their stories. Some will make you laugh, some will make you cry. Show life people who will inspire and show that you are not alone in this world. Hopefully, you gain more awareness, acceptance and a better understanding for autism around the world. Hi, I'm Tony Mantor. Welcome to why Not Me the World. Today's guest is Kristy Mickelsen. She's a romance author and advocate for cancer, lupus and autism. She's here to talk to us about her life and journey with her two autistic children. Thanks for coming on. I appreciate it.

Speaker 2: 1:10

I know. Thank you, it's a wonderful opportunity.

Speaker 1: 1:12

It's my pleasure. I understand that you have two autistic children.

Speaker 2: 1:16

Correct, they're actually young adults now. We've gone through a lot over the last 20 years.

Speaker 1: 1:22

What's their age now?

Speaker 2: 1:23

My son is 24. He just turned 25 and my daughter is 22.

Speaker 1: 1:29

At what age did you determine that something just wasn't quite right?

Speaker 2: 1:34

With my son. It was when he was a baby. He was born four weeks premature. When he was born he was born not breathing. He was turned blue. They had to do emergency surgery through the umbilical cord to get him breathing again. Shortly after it was like six months after, he would start going into these tantrums where his face would go blue. He would pass out on me. It baffled the doctors back there and they're like what is going on here? All they could come up with was he was having baby temper tantrums. He came to find out later. He was late diagnosed. He was diagnosed when he was 17. But we found out later that it was autism meltdowns at birth.

Speaker 1: 2:15

At a young age.

Speaker 2: 2:16

Yeah, very young age. But he would also, as a toddler, spin in circles, clap his arms. He would bang his head on the door. Right. And being a new parent, because I was only 18, I didn't know. I just thought it was a young boy being a young boy. Right. And then my daughter was diagnosed at the age of seven. Okay, but I kind of knew beforehand she would not talk. She would talk but it would come out as a fast gibberish talk. Right.

Speaker 2: 2:45

You could never understand her and her schedule. She had a very tight schedule. She had to watch Tom and Jerry at 11 am, she had to eat at a certain time and if those schedules weren't attended to she would throw things at your head and she would go into meltdown.

Speaker 1: 3:04

Okay. And then when I put her into kindergarten, so she was having meltdowns at an early age. What age was that, and was she going to school when that started happening?

Speaker 2: 3:13

Yeah, she was seven years old and she started kindergarten and she was having the meltdowns and everything. And when she was in school, teachers started coming up to my mom because I was a full-time teacher and so people were coming up to my mom who would take her to school and tell her your granddaughter is off the wall. She's strange, we don't understand her. Wow, it made my mom so upset she started crying and she called me at work. I went down to the school to find out what was going on and they told me that they thought she just couldn't learn, right? They called her stupid, yeah, and so I ended up fighting the school board because they were telling me my daughter would never learn. Well, she ended up having to go through the testing and the observation and everything and they found out she was autistic, with auditory processing disorder, and she has mild mental retardation. That's tough.

Speaker 1: 4:08

So did your son go through anything like this? What was his situation when he was that age?

Speaker 2: 4:14

For him, schooling was very difficult because people didn't understand him as well. He was considered strange to the boys. The teachers were okay with him, but to all the other little boys he was strange because he liked to be by himself, right, he would constantly run. He loved to run. Okay, but other than that he had a hard time learning as well.

Speaker 1: 4:37

So did you get to the point where you had to go into a different school system that understood them more, so that you could get a better education for them?

Speaker 2: 4:46

That's kind of a difficult story itself Back in that time because remember, this was 18 years ago, right, my father was a cancer patient and I was a full-time teacher at a different school. So my parents took care of both of them while I was working, okay, and with my dad having the cancer, they were constantly going down to a different place for cancer treatments and stuff, and so my kids were pulled out of school and put on to independent studies. But the independent studies was through a charter school and the charter school refused. I mean, they worked with them for a little while, but in my daughter's IEP they put she would never graduate, that she is like rain man.

Speaker 2: 5:27

Wow, and I got mad because that's just round to say that they could never learn. Yes, you know, it's so untrue Autistics can learn. Sure. I went down to the school and I ended up in a due process hearing, I mean, because they thought I was neglecting my children by putting them through independent studies, no matter what our situation was with the cancer treatments and me working full time. So we ended up with a long fight for my children to have an education. I won a little bit with that, like they were able to give my children six months more of education, but I was finally able to start my own school, because back in California, at those times when I lived in California, you weren't allowed to independently teach your children to home school, what they call it. Right, right.

Speaker 2: 6:14

So I opened up my own school. I had to sign affidavit stating that I would not use the school's curriculum or anything, and I was already a teacher. So I was like you know, I can do this stuff at home. So I started teaching them. And now my son, who they said could never get an education, who can never have a job my son now works. He works at a local car wash. He has medical insurance, he gets tips, he made friends. These are the best things that the school system trying to tell me that my kids can never have.

Speaker 1: 6:44

That's great.

Speaker 2: 6:46

My daughter. She now cooks dinner, she washes dishes, she washes clothes. She has a support animal that she takes care of. Like they now are able to thrive into the world today when the school system back then told them they couldn't. So I really want your listeners to know follow your heart, follow your gut as a parent. Don't take nothing from other people about what you can or cannot do with your child. You know their voice. You know them best.

Speaker 1: 7:13

Absolutely. Yeah, that makes great sense. When you first started finding out that they were autistic, how did you adapt to that? Because it's one thing having one, but then it's another thing having two. Each autistic person is different from themselves. How did that affect you and how did you react to it? What was your way that you could cope with it?

Speaker 2: 7:34

At first it was kind of shocking but at the same time, deep down, I knew. Again, I worked special needs for a preschool so I knew what to look for. But it was also shocking because you don't expect that of your children. Like it's kind of scary. It's really kind of scary because you don't know what to expect, right. And then trying to learn everything about the autism spectrum because my son was so different than my daughter. He's very high functioning, with sensory processing disorder, where he can't handle certain sounds and he can't handle certain textures of food, right. But my daughter, on the other hand, she's moderate, severe, but with auditory processing disorder, which is where she can't understand certain directions. Right.

Speaker 2: 8:22

So, but she loves animals and my son couldn't handle the sounds, so it was a big adaption, trying to figure out how do I mother one child and be completely different with the other, because they both had such different needs.

Speaker 1: 8:37

Absolutely.

Speaker 2: 8:39

It was a shock. It was a shock and I think as a mom you just kind of learn to adapt to it. Right. I'm not even sure how to explain it, Tony, but yeah, it's a huge shock and I think the best advice that I can say is to do everything you can to learn about autism. Right. Learn about your child type of autism, because there's different types of autism Exactly. The spectrum is huge. Learn about your child individual type and do everything you can for them.

Speaker 1: 9:09

So how did how that affect your circle of friends? Everything's going along. You know you think you've got the all American family and then you find that you've got an autistic child. Then all of a sudden you find that you have another autistic child. So that requires a certain amount of dedication from you, as you just said. But it also affects what you can do and can't do socially because of what they need. How did that affect that end of it for you?

Speaker 2: 9:37

That was actually very difficult. To be honest with you, a lot of people back then, and still now to this day, didn't understand autism. Right. So they thought If my children went into a meltdown that they were crazy, right, and so a lot of people wouldn't come over. My husband was a truck driver and I was alone most of the time. I ended up moving in with my parents just to have somebody to have my back. Sure they're like because nobody would come over that stuff.

Speaker 2: 10:07

It was very sad and I lost a lot of friends, but as my children got older I would say no preteen area, I mean, I was able to, since I had educated of myself on autism I was able to educate my friends and show them how to interact with my children. Sure, and I was able to have friends again and it's been amazing that when you learn and when you educate yourself, that's when things will change for you. I mean, yes, it's very scary and very Hard to deal with things alone at first, because a lot of people will not understand what you're going through. It was very emotional, but once you learn what you need to do, I think you just learn to to go with it and you start teaching people about it and they start to understand. And then I get so many compliments now that my children are very well behaved and it shocks people Because they're all. I didn't expect that of autism.

Speaker 2: 11:02

Yeah just because they're autistic doesn't mean that they don't know manners and that they shouldn't have manners, you know.

Speaker 1: 11:09

Yes, it's very unfortunate. I interviewed one person. There was a public speaker. He actually had people coming up commenting to him saying they didn't realize that autistic people could have children. So you are 100% correct. People just do not understand.

Speaker 2: 11:24

Exactly, and it's so sad and that's one of the reasons I'm an advocate for autism awareness. People need to know that they are just normal people. They are people. That only differences. They think differently than we do. It is a cognitive disability. It doesn't mean they're crazy, right, it just means they think different. My daughter, for instance she thinks in pictures yes. So if you follow her, if you tell her a direction like please go get me a cup of water, in the beginning, when she was learning what that meant, I had to use what was called a pecs board right and a pecs board is basically a board with visual cards on it and you Teach them through that and then they start to adapt to these visuals and they'll learn right now.

Speaker 1: 12:08

What's the age difference between your son and your daughter?

Speaker 2: 12:11

three years three years.

Speaker 1: 12:13

Okay, so with three years difference, they're both autistic, both at different levels of the spectrum. How do they get along? Do they interact well?

Speaker 2: 12:22

Actually, I'm very surprised. They are almost best friends. My son is very, very, very protective of his sister and she is very protective of him, and they think about each other all the time. Like if he gets something from the store, like if he gets a paycheck from work, he makes sure that he buys his sister something, which I think is wonderful.

Speaker 2: 12:42

Oh yeah and she's the same way. She's always thinking about what can I do for Josh, you know? And they're best friends and I absolutely love that. I'm very proud of that of my kids. They've grown up to protect each other, love each other and they understand each other.

Speaker 1: 12:56

Yeah, that's awesome. That's a very integral part of family and sometimes when you have one autistic child, let alone two, that can disrupt the the family dynamic and cause a lot of issues.

Speaker 2: 13:09

And you know that's actually correct. My husband did not understand my children when they were younger. And you got to remember too, he's a truck driver who really isn't home. So when he would come home and one of them was in meltdown for some, you know, for some reason when they were younger, he thought at the time he goes, why aren't you disciplining them? Right, I go, honey. There's certain, there's certain ways to discipline them, but right now, when they're in a meltdown, they need that few moments to gather themselves.

Speaker 2: 13:38

Right a meltdown. Isn't them throwing a temper tantrum because they're mad. It's because they don't understand what's happening around them exactly it took a lot for my husband to finally Understand what was going on, how to work with them, how to tease them, how to play with them. It's very hard on a marriage.

Speaker 2: 13:57

It is because the mother's fully invested and the father's sometimes don't get me wrong, there's a lot of fathers out there that are fully invested in their children too, but I think it takes them just a tad bit longer to fully understand Because of the mother. You know constantly, you know being a mom right, right.

Speaker 1: 14:17

Yeah, that's true. I've talked with a lot of a lot of parents and and it took him a while. There's, there's one parent I spoke with and and he knew a lot about autism, so he accepted it a lot quicker. And then there was another one I spoke with. It almost destroyed their marriage and then, because I talked with several people where it has, because I think it's I can't remember the numbers, but I think it's like in the 80 percentile range of divorces of autistic children, yes, it's high yes and for in that salad it is and it and I want to correct myself Because I don't want to offend anybody or anything like that I am absolutely not saying that any fathers out there have a hard time accepting it or take longer.

Speaker 2: 14:58

What I do mean, though, is the mother naturally has their child in their belly, you know, in their womb for months, right, and you already form connection, and that's what I mean by that. It takes the father just a little bit longer because they haven't had that connection right, but I have met from several Wonderful autism dads, because sometimes it's the mom who couldn't handle it, yeah, and the mom ends up leaving right.

Speaker 2: 15:22

So I tip all parents of all special needs, autism Anywhere, any kind of special need. All parents. I tip every single one of them because it's very hard to deal with but we love our kids it is.

Speaker 1: 15:34

You can't. You just can't give up on them, because they Don't know and they didn't ask to be different, they just turned out that way. So you have to learn how to adapt, how to develop it and make it work. I mean sometimes, depending upon where they land, they can make it work and others sometimes can't. You know, it's unfortunate. Yeah, it's a, it's a collective effort from everybody, that's for sure.

Speaker 2: 15:56

Absolutely absolutely.

Speaker 1: 15:57

You said that one had textures issues, the other one had issues with sound. Have they got that under control now, where they can at least come into something that's a little bit different than that's not their comfort zone, but they can still work through it and be okay?

Speaker 2: 16:13

Pretty much my son. It took a lot longer. Everything he in. We tried everything. Because he can't handle sounds like we have a turtle. That is a water turtle. He stays in the water tank and that turtle would scratch the the rocks on the bottom of the tank and that would just irritate my son. Oh, it took a long time for us. We would have to have him sit in that room even though he would throw a meltdown, sit in that room for five minutes at a time until he can gradually learn to deal with it.

Speaker 2: 16:42

And a lot of parents I'm gonna be honest with you, a lot of parents would not agree with my method on that, but it worked for my son. You have to know your child. I would try earphones with my son sometimes. That worked and it didn't. He can't handle dogs barking, so we tried the earphones and the sound for him amplifies. So if a dog barks it amplifies and it would hurt his ears. Now that he's older and he's around more noises. Because he's also a huge wrestling fan and he tried out for a professional wrestling and he had to learn the sounds of the wrestling. So he learned to deal with it Like he forced himself to sit in those rooms with those loud noises for a while until he was able to handle it. And, like I said, some parents will not agree to that method, but it worked for my child. You just have to know your child.

Speaker 1: 17:32

Yeah, you have to do what works for each individual. You can't. There's not one size fits all.

Speaker 2: 17:37

Exactly my daughter. She doesn't really have any sensory issues, but she does have the auditory processing and that's something we can't change. She just has a hard time understanding. So, like if you were to say get me water, like I used earlier, all she's gonna hear is otter. She only hears part of what you're saying. You have to use visuals until they get used to hearing those strange words. Then they understand it.

Speaker 1: 18:04

Right Now, you mentioned one had texture issues.

Speaker 2: 18:06

That would be my son. Yes, he would have a hard time with the tags on his shirt. Okay. He would. We'd constantly have to cut those off. Or he likes to chew, so he would chew his shirt, he would chew on his nails Okay, chewing on pens. And he also has issues with textures of food.

Speaker 1: 18:25

Yeah, that's my next question.

Speaker 2: 18:27

Yeah, he can't be on meatloaf but he loves hamburgers. It's the texture of it. Yeah. And my daughter's very picky. She has a very minimal menu. It's grilled cheese, pizza or burritos. Pretty much that's what my daughter loves, Okay.

Speaker 1: 18:44

What do they do for just chill time? They work now they get out there. They intermingle with other people when they wanna just take and relax. Do they have anything that they just immerse themselves into?

Speaker 2: 18:57

My son is. He's the one that's able to work. He's very high functioning. Okay. But he, to just relax, loves to watch video. Blogs, blogs, blogs I'm sure I forget what they're called.

Speaker 1: 19:10

Okay.

Speaker 2: 19:10

But he loves to watch those on reptiles because one of his obsessions is reptiles, especially snake.

Speaker 1: 19:16

Okay.

Speaker 2: 19:16

And he loves wrestling, so he'll sit back and he'll watch WWE for hours and learn the moves by visually watching it. And then my daughter to relax. She loves her dog. Her dog is her emotional before animal. His name is Rolly.

Speaker 1: 19:31

What kind of dog?

Speaker 2: 19:33

He's a jack terrier.

Speaker 1: 19:34

Okay.

Speaker 2: 19:34

And then she loves to play her Xbox and just to chill for a while. She loves to watch Isle of Lucy reruns.

Speaker 1: 19:42

Okay, all right. Now they say that a lot of autistic people will get very focused and when they get that bullseye that they've zoomed in on, they're gonna learn everything and immerse themselves in everything they can possibly know. Are they both that way as well?

Speaker 2: 19:57

My son is.

Speaker 1: 19:58

Okay.

Speaker 2: 19:59

He's like again very into the wrestling. My daughter is severe or moderate severe with the mental retardation. Right. And she doesn't focus like that. It's a completely different level with those of them. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 20:12

Now you say that he's into wrestling and tried out for wrestling. How did that work out for him?

Speaker 2: 20:16

She was actually in top of Texas pro wrestling training for quite a while and then, unfortunately, with him being autistic, both kids, when they were younger, dealt with some bullying. Oh yeah. Well, unfortunately, when you're in wrestling, you have to do what's called paying your dues. Right.

Speaker 2: 20:33

And my son was doing head of security, not head of security, but he was in security one night working for the head of security and he was left alone for a few minutes due to the head of security had an emergency to go deal with Right and one of the people in the audience started calling him retarded. Oh. They started calling him a dummy. Yeah. Started telling him why is he doing a man's job when he was just a little boy. My son was 20, 21, I think when he started. Ok.

Speaker 2: 21:00

And it really hurt him to the point where he came home and he cried and he cried and he said, mom, I'm tired of being stupid. And I had to tell him son, you're not stupid, nobody in this world is stupid. I'm sorry to the whole field, there is no one in this world that is stupid. Right. He ended up leaving wrestling because he didn't want to be a part of something where people can make fun of you, and when he's done that, all he's not mental with life. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: 21:26

He left wrestling but thankfully, the people that he trained with and I have to give a shout out to his ex-trainer, nathan Briggs hired him at his day job his shoot job is what they call it. Ok. And he now works with his ex-trainer at a little car wash here in our local town of Amarillo. Ok. And he made friends and he came out of his shell tremendously and he has learned so much from that experience.

Speaker 1: 21:53

Oh, that's good.

Speaker 2: 21:54

So it was a good thing and a bad thing at the same time.

Speaker 1: 21:57

Yeah, yeah. So how is the family handle it all? We've gone through the friends and how you went through that and could your parents handle it really well because you moved back with them. Do you have any other family? That was questionable in the way they addressed it.

Speaker 2: 22:12

Most have actually been pretty accepted with it. My husband's parents are no longer with us. Oh OK. So they weren't around my children long enough to actually know most of it. Right.

Speaker 2: 22:22

My husband's sister is very good with it and my brother is absolutely wonderful with it and my daughter's name is Cassie and ever since she was a baby I guess to him she looked like a little cabbage patch, so he called her cabbage and they have this wonderful little uncle and niece relationship. It's been absolutely wonderful and of course I give a lot of shout-outs to my parents who helped raise my children.

Speaker 1: 22:45

Oh yeah, yeah, that's tremendous. I mean you've got to have good role models in there that can help them grow, help them build, learn things, be compassionate. It takes a village, as they say right.

Speaker 2: 22:55

Absolutely and unfortunately. I lost my father back in 2011. He was a huge role model to my son because my husband again was a truck driver. So my father would go out and he would try to teach my son how to throw a ball, how to mow a lawn like typical man things. Yeah. It was wonderful to have my parents there and I took my hat and I thank both of them, even though my father's no longer here.

Speaker 1: 23:20

Yeah, that's unfortunately part of life. How do they handle speaking of just life? So many different things in this world are upside down now and different things happen and we have to scratch our heads in the way people look at things. How do they handle that? Because part of life is being able to deal with the bumps in the road that can come your way. Unfortunately, sometimes that's losing a family member or whatever. How is their ability to handle that develop?

Speaker 2: 23:44

With my son. He takes the loss of the family members through death very, very, very hard. He gets angry and he gets very emotionally upset, Like he understands that person is no longer here, but he takes it as they left him. Right.

Speaker 2: 23:59

Like, yeah, and my daughter? It depends on who. It is Right If it was somebody in the family that she was close to, such as my dad. She knows and she understands and she cries. And when she lost her first support dog, she cried, sure, but when my husband's parents, she didn't really know them, so it really didn't affect her at all.

Speaker 1: 24:20

Yeah, yeah. What do you see for them in the future? Now they're in their 20s. They're doing what they do. Where do you see the development going to?

Speaker 2: 24:29

Well with my son. I can honestly see him maybe a little bit longer down the road because he does think a little bit slower and that's hard for some people to understand, but I see him actually getting married, maybe probably going back into the wrestling world now that he's a little bit older. He still loves it and he's very into that world and with my daughter her hopes are to work in a zoo. Oh, OK.

Speaker 2: 24:52

And maybe I can get her into a volunteer program or something for that. But unfortunately she is unable to actually work. Yeah. Because of the way she functions.

Speaker 1: 25:02

Right. So if she was to work at a zoo, how would they have to approach that? What would your thought process be on how that she would have to be handled to be able to do that kind of thing?

Speaker 2: 25:13

She's very patient and very understanding, ok, when you talk to her at her level. So basically, with her mentality, she is not 23 mentally, she went out 12 mentally. So you have to talk to her in that aspect and sometimes even lower, it depends on the subject. So when it comes to teaching her something, I have to actually teach her at a kindergarten level.

Speaker 1: 25:38

OK.

Speaker 2: 25:38

So that's how they would have to approach it Right, and this place is out there.

Speaker 1: 25:41

That will do that. You just have to find the right place.

Speaker 2: 25:44

Absolutely. And I have to say back when we lived in California about four years ago and I lived there most of my life there wasn't a lot of opportunities for autismists out there. But when I moved here to Texas I have to tip my hat to Texas on this I moved here to Texas and all of a sudden both of my kids were getting opportunities for things. Great.

Speaker 2: 26:03

So I think at the parent you need to find out is the place that you're at suitable for your children? And if you're putting them in school, check out your school and see how they treat Autistics, because there are some schools out there that are very mean and they're abusive. And like, I guess, my words of advice for anything in life with your children with autism make sure you research everything. Yes. That is the biggest key is research everything from schoolings to homes, to cities, to people. Just research everything.

Speaker 1: 26:37

Yeah, well, that's good that your son is doing well and it's good that your daughter is finding her place. This is something that comes up not every podcast, but several. The parents worry about their kids on what happens when we're not here. Have you kind of looked in the future a little bit? Does that scare you or do you think everything will be okay? Have you got plans? What's your thoughts on that?

Speaker 2: 26:58

You know, Tony, that's something that I worry about on a daily basis.

Speaker 1: 27:02

Okay.

Speaker 2: 27:03

Again, my son takes everything very hard. My daughter sometimes understands and is very emotional and some things and for a long time I couldn't figure out what I would do, because my son, he's high, functioning, all that and he can work, but my daughter cannot. Right.

Speaker 2: 27:18

So I've been going through friends like hey, you know, if anything ever happened to me, do you think you can handle this? And, truthfully, most of them said no, yeah, that they could handle it. But, however, my son's boss, his ex-wrestling trainer, he looked at me what about three weeks ago actually, this is a very new subject that we were actually been talking about and he goes what are you gonna do if something ever happens? And so I told him what my worry was and he goes well, you know Josh, your son, he's able to be okay, but we had a little house in the back. We'll put him in the little house in the back and we'll put Cassie in the front and, you know, in the main house with us. And they know us and they're willing to take on the challenge. And I thought that was absolutely fabulous and wonderful. That is, that is.

Speaker 2: 28:05

Truthfully, it touched my heart, because you don't hear too many people's offering.

Speaker 1: 28:11

No, no, I mean we're a, unfortunately we're a me world right now. You know what's in it for me.

Speaker 2: 28:17

Insanity.

Speaker 1: 28:18

Not what's in it for you or how can I help, but there's a lot of good people out there. I mean this just proves that you've got one right there, right in the right in your backyard, and that's a great thing. So it just shows that, even though we can look, find bad every day on the news and in the world, there's still some good.

Speaker 2: 28:38

Absolutely, and I tip my hat to the good ones out there, because people like us, people that are special needs families, we need good people like you to just offer a little help. Sometimes you never know just what you could be doing for that family.

Speaker 1: 28:52

Absolutely so. What's some words of advice that you would give to, let's say, you come across a person they just found out that they've got an autistic son or daughter. What's some words of advice that you could give? Someone's listened to this podcast that's just new to the autistic world and now they're trying to figure it out. What's some tips that you could give?

Speaker 2: 29:14

I think my very first tip, and I think the most important one, is to love your child regardless. Number one Sure.

Speaker 2: 29:21

Number two definitely, again, research everything the internet's wonderful, talk to doctors, talk to schools, research everything you can on the autism spectrum, research how your schools in the local area treat autistics. Research is the key for everything. And I think the third one would be to be the voice for your child. Right, be the voice and make a difference for your child, because they may not have a voice for themselves and they're going to need someone who can stand up for them. That is the hugest part. Right there and again, show your child unconditional love and try to have patience, because it is very nerve-wracking. Sometimes You'll want to pull your hair out, yeah, but have patience, love your child and try to educate your friends a little bit, in a nice way so that they understand and you don't lose your friends. Sure, because it's the great unknown.

Speaker 1: 30:15

Exactly when people are first starting out, they don't know anything about it. There's nothing worse than not knowing anything about it, because you can do your research. You're going to find 15 different ways of approaching something, but you don't know which one's the right way Exactly. You have to know your child.

Speaker 2: 30:31

As you go, you'll know what your child can and cannot handle. Right and I think that's the most important thing is and if you have two children in the house, don't try to discipline them both the same way, right, because it doesn't work. One can handle it and one cannot. You have to find your personal. You know your needs for that child.

Speaker 1: 30:53

Right, Absolutely Well. It's been a great conversation. I've really enjoyed it. I really appreciate you taking the time to come on.

Speaker 2: 31:00

Thank you so much. It's been an absolute pleasure and I really hope that somebody gets some kind of something out of this, because autism we need more acceptance out there. Tony, we really do. People know about it, but they don't really know what it is, and I hope people listening to this get a little bit of knowledge and know that they're not strange people. They're just people that think a little differently than we do.

Speaker 1: 31:23

Yeah, absolutely. Actually, my podcast slogan is Autism Awareness, acceptance and Understanding. I did a lot of research myself before I started this and the biggest thing I found it was the understanding part of it. So that's kind of what I'm pushing with this podcast is the understanding part, and hopefully each one will have a tidbit of information that somebody can use that helps one person as a win.

Speaker 2: 31:46

Absolutely Change the work. You know, changes the way that everybody thinks. One person at a time, and I'm not saying to change the entire world, but one person at a time. That's all we can help for.

Speaker 1: 31:55

Exactly, exactly. Well, good, I think we've got that. Thanks for coming on. Thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule to listen to our show today. We hope that you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed bringing it to you. If you know anyone that would like to tell us their story, send them to TonyMantorcom Contact Then they can give us their information so one day they may be a guest on our show. One more thing we ask tell everyone everywhere about why not me, the world, the conversations we're having and the inspiration our guests give to everyone everywhere that you are not alone in this world.