Tony Mantor: Why Not Me ?
Embracing Autism/Mental Health Worldwide
Autism is a complex neurodevelopmental condition affecting millions worldwide, characterized by challenges in social interaction, communication, and repetitive behaviors.
Despite increasing recognition, there remains a lack of understanding and awareness about the condition.
Mental health encompasses a range of conditions impacting emotional, psychological, and social well-being, affecting millions globally.
It includes disorders like anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and psychosis.
Schizophrenia is marked by symptoms such as hallucinations, delusions, and disorganized thinking, while psychosis involves a loss of contact with reality, often presenting with similar symptoms.
Despite growing awareness, stigma and misconceptions about mental health, particularly schizophrenia and psychosis, persist, underscoring the need for greater understanding and support.
From celebrating neurodiversity to breaking down stigma, we create a safe space for listeners to learn, grow, and feel seen.
Whether you're on the spectrum, a caregiver, or an advocate, join our global community for inspiring conversations and empowering resources that uplift and unite.
Tune in to embrace understanding, healing, and hope worldwide!
Together, we can create a more informed and compassionate society for individuals with Autism and Mental Illness.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me ?
Eric Dias: Hope, Recovery, and Finding Your Voice with Schizoaffective Disorder
Eric Diaz shares his journey of living with schizoaffective disorder and becoming an advocate for those with serious mental illness.
Through finding the right medication, supportive communities, and creative outlets, Eric transformed from someone who couldn't leave his house to a published author helping others navigate similar challenges.
• Diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder as a teenager but initially lacked insight into his condition
• Participated in a clinical trial at Emory University that was crucial for starting treatment
• Struggled with significant medication side effects before finding an effective treatment in 2011
• Went from making fries at Wendy's to getting his GED and attending college
• Became a Certified Peer Specialist to help others with mental health conditions
• Recently published his novel "I Got Sober For This" exploring themes of mental illness
• Now works as an employment specialist helping others with brain disorders find work
• Credits stable housing, family support, and faith community as vital to his recovery
• Emphasizes the importance of both medical treatment and social support systems
• Currently focusing on writing and will be taking a screenwriting workshop
Keep hope, keep going, and don't give up. Reach out to Eric at EricJDiaz1981@gmail.com if you'd like to learn more about his book or experiences.
https://tonymantor.com
https://Facebook.com/tonymantor
https://instagram.com/tonymantor
https://twitter.com/tonymantor
https://youtube.com/tonymantormusic
intro/outro music bed written by T. Wild
Why Not Me the World music published by Mantor Music (BMI)
Welcome to why Not Me? The World podcast, hosted by Tony Mantor, broadcasting from Music City, usa, nashville, tennessee. Join us as our guests tell us their stories. Some will make you laugh, some will make you cry. Their stories Some will make you laugh, some will make you cry. Real life people who will inspire and show that you are not alone in this world. Hopefully, you gain more awareness, acceptance and a better understanding for autism around the world. Hi, I'm Tony Mantor.
Speaker 1:Welcome to why Not Me? The World Humanity Over Handcuffs the Silent Crisis special event. Joining us today is Eric Diaz. He's a writer, youtuber, comedian and dedicated mental health professional who recently celebrated the release of his debut novel I Got Sober For this. Eric's life has been deeply shaped by his personal experiences, making him intimately familiar with the profound struggles of addiction and severe mental health challenges Diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder as a teenager. He has navigated his complexities firsthand, emerging as a relentless and inspiring advocate for individuals with serious mental illness and their families that support them. With his wealth of knowledge, unique perspective and unwavering commitment to raising awareness, he's a true asset to have him join us today. Thanks for coming on.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you for having me. I love doing advocacy and I love talking about my book, so it's a win-win.
Speaker 1:Yes, I love a win-win. Well, let's start with what led you to where you are now. How did your journey begin? What path did you take, and where did that path bring you to where you are today?
Speaker 2:Well, as a child, I enjoyed writing and I kind of, somewhere along the way, lost. I stopped doing it for some reason and then, after I quit drinking, I didn't know what to do with myself. I felt powerless. I have a brother who was refusing medication for schizophrenia at the time and I felt so powerless to help him and I was talking to all these families in that situation and I was just writing was just, it was just therapeutic, it was I enjoyed doing it and I felt so powerless and writing I controlled the page completely is mine, so it was empowering to write and tell stories, and part of the idea for the book was in 2018, there were two inmates at the ICE detention center in Stewart County, georgia.
Speaker 2:At the Stewart detention center, there were two inmates with schizophrenia that completed suicide and I was kind of like hurt my interest, like that's out in the middle of nowhere, that's nowhere near where I live, it's nowhere near Atlanta, it's nowhere near Macon. And then I started doing research and I was like you know, a lot of families have loved ones with untreated schizophrenia, largely due to lack of insight. But I was kind of like what's, what's their story? Maybe I kind of they wind up down there from other states. They weren't residing in Georgia when they were detained by ICE. And just telling the story of Carl Betancourt, the protagonist, his life intersects with a lot of different people, that they have a common connection, but it's people that wouldn't otherwise know each other.
Speaker 1:So in your book, what do you delve into? Do you touch on your brother or do you talk about many different people? What's the scope of what you're doing?
Speaker 2:um, well, my book is. Of course it's a book work of fiction and it's a novel. It's a novel but it's mainly about the main protagonist and just him. He doesn't want his children. He's afraid his children might wind up developing schizophrenia and being like some of the clients he takes. He's's a recovered alcoholic lawyer and my brother was a big inspiration for a lot of the chapters in the book and just stories of people I know and stories that I've read about just people that are powerless. You have people that are marginalized, that don't have a lot, and you have people that are wealthy and they're still powerless to help their loved ones. We kind of all were in this together and also writing the book was also. Just.
Speaker 2:I like storytelling. I used to do stand-up comedy and I would tell stories about being a movie extra, which is very common in the Atlanta area. I was on disability for most of my adult life for schizoaffective disorder. Being a movie extra is a common type of employment for people on psychographic disability around here, so it's very common. You work a couple of days a week and it doesn't affect your disability check and because it's under the amount, it's something we're lucky because not everyone has that as temp work, but in Georgia we're lucky to have that.
Speaker 1:So both you and your brother have this diagnosis, then is that correct?
Speaker 2:Yes and I'm not sure. Um, I know I am schizo, I have schizoaffective disorder and I believe I say schizophrenia, but I'm not sure his exact diagnosis. I know early intervention was key to my recovery. It was absolutely key and being paid to participate in a clinical trial study at Emory University was vital because I did not believe I was sick. No, I did not believe I was sick. I knew with absolute certainty that there was nothing wrong with me. I knew with absolute certainty that everything I was saying was true. There was no if or maybe. I knew, but I also had the reality slapping me in the face and being paid to participate in this study and they were very nice to me when I went down there, got me on my medication Even though I was still in psychosis.
Speaker 2:Psychosis, in my view, is always toxic. I don't view it as ever being good. It's a disease to be treated, not a right to be protected. But it was manageable, like I could, kind of I could go out a little bit. I wasn't always saying things that would get me in trouble because I wouldn't even know why people were mad.
Speaker 1:Okay, so how long do you think you had it before you actually got treated?
Speaker 2:I was under the care of a psychiatrist that we knew because my brother is older. I was under the care of a psychiatrist and seen a social worker regularly and I believe I don't know, because I was very much out of it, I guess the best way to describe it I began taking medications my senior year in high school that are for schizophrenia, but I originally started seeing the psychiatrist and social worker for depression. I was having symptoms, but I was only forthcoming. I still had a filter I think it's called double booking. I knew how bad, how bizarre the things I was thinking sounded, so I was able to keep it to myself, but it was still making me very depressed.
Speaker 2:I was able to, long story short, I took the medication right off the bat.
Speaker 2:I just took it. I was raised that when you're prescribed something you take it, but the side effects were so bad I discontinued it and then for about I would say if I guess I don't remember everything exactly, it's hazy, but I would say about close to a year I was just no medication period, just not taking my medication, and what was so great about Emory University and the clinical trial study was that they never tried to make me admit I had schizoaffective disorder. It was just come in tell us how you're doing and like here's your prescription. And it was very funny because I still very much believe things happened in the past, but they weren't ongoing now in a way that was threatening to me. It was just things that had happened and I still had a lot of symptoms, but I wasn't employable at that time in my view. But I was able to kind of go out to a restaurant because there was a time when I couldn't even leave my house. I was so paranoid.
Speaker 1:Wow. So I spoke with a guy who said he spent a short time in jail but it ended up costing him nearly a decade. He struggled to figure out what was wrong with him, navigating the challenges of getting in and out of the jail system, searching for the right medication. Now he's doing fine, but ultimately it took him that whole decade to work through the maze of it all before they finally found what worked. It doesn't sound like you went through anything like that, but you did have the challenges that you had to work through.
Speaker 2:That's partially true. The medication was able to keep me out of the hospital, but I still couldn't do a whole lot. So my current medication, I believe I've been on since 2011. And then I added a medication about four years ago. When I was on the older medication, I kind of had a grieving process because I couldn't do the other stuff the other young men in their 20s were doing.
Speaker 2:I was in a program for the cognitive symptoms of like just memory impairment and just not being able to. I was in a program for special needs adults at Goodwill and I was placed in a job at Wendy's where all I could do was make fries and clean the lobby, because my short-term memory was so bad and I was so dense that I couldn't really do anything, do a whole lot and it was very lonely and isolating. And then, when I responded to medication, I was very happy that I was able to get my GED and go back to college. I went to a junior college. My choice was vital in me being able to go back to college because a man at my church who was retired helped me get caught up so I could at the junior college. I needed a lot of one-on-one tutoring but it would have been different if I had been diagnosed. I then as a teenager, I then, when I was 20, gone straight on the medication I'm on now.
Speaker 1:Do you think that because you did not get diagnosed earlier that it affected your quality of life at all? How do you feel about that overall?
Speaker 2:I don't believe it did, because I believe maybe so I mean it would've been better to have been diagnosed sooner, but I believe that the medication I'm on now wasn't on the market. If I had had that medication, I'd started taking in 2011, say in 2001,. It would have been a lot different. But the whole gaining 100 pounds on the medication, having the cognitive problems, being emotionally flat, it was pretty much. It was keeping me out of the hospital, but I could survive and not thrive. So I'm very grateful that there's newer medication now so that if you don't respond, I don't like to say the names of medication, because I don't want to promote.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's fine, I get it.
Speaker 2:But even if you don't respond to the medication I'm on, there's a lot of newer medications out there and the reason I don't say what medication I'm on is I've had friends see how well I'm doing and the majority of doctors want their patients to participate in their treatment. But when people come in there and say Eric, my friend Eric's doing really well on this medication, I want to be on it.
Speaker 1:Sure.
Speaker 2:A lot of them did not do very well on that medication.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 2:So I'm very hesitant, even though I love, I mean everyone's body's different, even though my body really responds to this medication. Like I said, there's newer medicines out, so hopefully everyone will find the right medication that works for their body, right when they can go out and live a healthy, productive life.
Speaker 1:Now, have you seen any differences or similarities between you and your brother in your diagnosis and much of the way that you live your lives?
Speaker 2:Well, he right now, because he was off his meds for a long time. Okay, and he is not. He's like the person you were talking about. He missed out on a lot of stuff. I'm currently employed and he's trying to go back to work, but, like I said, I'm reluctant to talk too much about him. I totally understand that and that's not a problem but yeah, as of right now, I'm able to do a lot of things that he is currently not not able to do.
Speaker 1:I host a lot of autism podcasts. One guest shared a story about his son. His son was walking down the highway and because he was always seemed just like a happy kid, the police assumed he was high on drugs. They took him into custody but after contacting the father, he explained the situation, they let him go and everything turned out fine. Have you ever had any experiences where, due to medications or other factors, you've had interactions with the legal system where they just didn't understand what you were going through?
Speaker 2:I have not. My brother has had a couple but me I honestly I've had. My experience with the police has, for personally, has been has been mostly positive. Oh, that's great and that, um, I was afraid to leave my house, so like I would venture out at like 2 am and I go to, like I hop and steak and shake waffles. I just kind of hang out at night because there was less people when I felt safe and, of course, like whenever the cops would come in, they were always friendly and yeah, and I'd say my personal experience has been overwhelmingly positive.
Speaker 1:That's great to hear, especially since it's a common concern for many people. Misunderstandings can escalate quickly when officers don't fully grasp what someone might be going through. It's tricky because law enforcement often has just seconds to assess a situation and make a decision, so it's really reassuring and awesome to know you've had no issues with that.
Speaker 2:Well, let me tell you a story. I had an emergency with my brother at my house. I was very afraid to call law enforcement and when the deputy came, I was basically telling the 911 operator there's no guns in the house, I'm only concerned for my brother's safety. And they're okay, and she's like I. I told the, the, um, the, the. I'm telling them to take the silent approach, but they have anyway. The cop um parts a little bit up the street. No, siren, didn't have his headlights on. And then when I went to tell my brother that he was here because my brother sometimes was doing the same thing I was doing back when I was having symptoms, going to, like, the gas station and like, say, waffle House late at night, him and the cop already knew each other. So it was very helpful. It's very helpful when the cops, like, are part of the community, and so it was very much like I don't know if it would have been different if they didn't know each other, but like they recognize each other and that was very helpful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's really good that it turned out that well. So, now that you've gone through everything, how long did it take you to get stabilized? Take you to get stabilized I mean from navigating all the different challenges you face to finally having a job working and settling into something like the American dream, or at least your version of it.
Speaker 2:Well, it took. It took. It happened in stages. I went from completely refusing treatment to being just well enough to not go to the hospital, to taking a different medication where I was able to get my GED and take some classes, and then I took the medication I'm on now, and it took a lot of this tenacity and trial and error. But, to answer your question, a lot of it is just keep going Like 2011,. There's been a minor adjustment to my medication four years ago, but it took a long time. When your life is delayed like that, like going to a four year college and like just given someone who's 30 medication and say, hey, you're, you're good. Now there's still a long road to catch up and there's still.
Speaker 2:It takes a lot of just learning, and one thing that was vital to my recovery that I want to talk about is I am a certified peer specialist and the first week of the certified peer specialist training was like a Dale Carnegie seminar, catered just for people that have a brain disorder like schizophrenia or major depression, and it really helped me connect because, even though I was starting to respond to medication, my social skills had really atrophied.
Speaker 2:So, like, the second week is a lot of like stuff on advocacy, but the first week was extremely helpful, just teaching me because I didn't realize how it was coming across and that really helped. And also it helps my self-worth because I had to study for the test and pass the test. I'm currently working as an employment specialist. I just started a new job. I'm going to be helping people with brain disorders like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder find work, and that's something that's very important because there's a risk of me going back to the hospital. I get really stressed out, but feeling worthless and not being able to participate and be a part of society is also stressful and can also lead to me going back to the hospital. So it's one of those things.
Speaker 1:Wow, you just brought up a great point. How do you find the balance between too much stress and too little activity, where anxiety from being overwhelmed doesn't cause health issues like ending up in the hospital, but depression from nothing happening doesn't take over either? How do you figure out that line so you're not tipping too far in one direction or the other?
Speaker 2:a lot of it.
Speaker 2:It was just trial and error okay a lot of it was trial and error and one thing that I was very blessed with. A lot of it was trial and error. And one thing that I was very blessed with is I've always had stable housing. I've always my home, the home I grew up in, has always been there. So, even if I move out, I remember I called my mother when I was working another job and I was like I also go to a 12-step program for drinking and I called my mother and I was like I got to move back home. I'm going to relapse if I keep doing this job. I got to just go home and take a break and she was happy to have me. So I think I've always had where. If I don't succeed, I will like be on the street.
Speaker 1:That was. My next question was about your parents. Initially they had to navigate your brother's difficulties with his issues. Then sometimes you might have a few issues you have to deal with. How did they handle that?
Speaker 2:My father passed away in 2003, and we were very lucky in that he had a very good job at Lockheed Martin. We were basically my mother, and even though she has two children that were disabled, we're still able to keep our house, and my mother has always been supportive. She's always been encouraging me to do stuff. In fact, let me see if I could find it here. The first part of my book is actually a picture of me and my mother at my graduation.
Speaker 1:Nice.
Speaker 2:And I have a nice tribute to my mom, yeah, and that's one thing I think is vital. And I will say this though my church was very vital, still is very vital to my recovery, and my supportive family is very vital to my recovery. But if I had not been paid early on to be in that clinical trial study, I don't think it would have made that much of a difference. Because, even though these things are important the anosmosia, the lack of insight, even like you could have the most loving family and church. I know people that have had different experiences with schizophrenia-related disorders in their church or other house of worship, but I've been overwhelmingly supported and welcomed and that's something that has been, I'd say, vital. And even at other people's churches I've been invited. Other people would invite me to things, not just mine. So I feel like the faith community of Woodstock has been very, very welcoming to me.
Speaker 1:That's really good to hear that you've been accepted that way. Now, what about friends? I often hear that people start out with a lot of friends. Then, the more they slip into psychosis, the friendships seem to drift away. Has any of that affected you at all?
Speaker 2:I honestly think you know how do I word that that was a big reason, not just the money. I don't blame anyone, but I a big reason, not just the money, I don't blame anyone, but I was saying things and just the way I was acting was making people understandably, understandably so very uncomfortable. And the clinical trial program not only paid me a small stipend, but they were really friendly. So there was a time when I didn't have a single friend in the whole wide world and going to treatment was my only like social interaction and I was too, at that time, too paranoid to even leave my house. So I feel like being that going every two weeks for treatment was a very um was something I looked forward to.
Speaker 1:Okay, that makes complete sense. Now, where you kind of isolated yourself, didn't get out there at all, how did you motivate yourself to get out there and be part of society so that you could interact with other people?
Speaker 2:After I was on medication I started to. On the older medication I started to venture out a little at a time. I was very lucky that I had a brother who worked for a I think it was a company that contracted with United Airlines, so I had standby tickets Part of what I did. I was very nervous about going out in public where I lived, part of what I did. I was very nervous about going out in public where I lived. But I flew to California where I have family, and I was a little bit braver going out there where I didn't know anyone. Well, that was a nice segue going out there and socializing with my cousins and then coming back and trying to apply what I learned. But I was very nervous and I did it a little at a time, I didn't do it all at once. I was very nervous and I did it a little at a time, I didn't do it all at once, and it helps when I started being on medication that alleviated my symptoms and but it was.
Speaker 2:It was very hard. It was very hard in the beginning, like I remember working at Wendy's and it was very scary for me, very just, very scary, and, um, even going to church. For a time I wouldn't go to church because I was too, too nervous and there were there was a long time where I would just not go anywhere. Another problem I had is I was so flat. I didn't really do anything for fun, so that when I didn't really have the desire to go out, even when I wasn't paranoid, I didn't really have as much of the desire to go out. And because I didn't do anything for fun, it was kind of like what am I going to talk about if I go out?
Speaker 2:At the time I was watching a lot of cable news. I mean, let's go talk about the news. Or sometimes I used to just talk about my symptoms, like we'll talk about like having schizoaffective disorder, like that's how I'm going to go, and you can't. You can't always do that, you can't just go. I mean, people with other health problems don't go out and do that. And which is part of the reason I love creative outlets, because I love this talking about my art, I love talking about like comedy or talking about my book, or having things that are more topical other than just, hey, I have schizoaffective disorder.
Speaker 1:Are you still active in comedy at all?
Speaker 2:I'm taking a break. I'm taking a break. I'm open to doing it in the future, but I enjoy writing more and that's something that I would like to in the future. But I enjoy writing more and that's something that I would like to in the future. Like I said I did, I like my favorite movies or movies about the creative process, like birdman and movies like that, like black swan black swan gave me a lot of anxiety it's just about a woman with anxiety, but but anything about the creative process. So I like doing stand-up about being a movie extra and I don't know I could see just doing stand-up about self-publishing. But right now my focus is writing and I'm taking a screenwriting workshop in late January and February. So, yeah, so, having a who knows, maybe I'll do, I'll write something about, like I say, the creative process of self-publishing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's great. So tell us a little bit about your book and tell us where we can get it.
Speaker 2:Oh well, thank you, my book I Got Sober for this with the ellipses, eric E-R-I-C J EricJDiaz1981 at gmailcom and I would be happy to respond to emails and that is something that, when you self-publish, is kind of I'm doing everything. Yeah, like I said, I would seriously love to hear from anyone who's read my book or has any questions.
Speaker 1:Do you have a website or any way that people can find you so that they want to reach out about your book?
Speaker 2:I think a lot of times, like with my book, I didn't know the distribution tools available to self-published authors and I was like why am I writing this when no publisher is going to want it? Well, I don't, publishers can't reject it if I don't write it. And there were a lot of times when I was hopeless and I'm like why am I doing this? Like nothing good is going to come of this, and sometimes just just keeping hope, keeping hope, keep keep going, keep going and just don't give up, because a lot, lot of times, like when I respond to medication in my 30s, like what's the point? My life's over. Well, now that I'm 43, hearing my 30-year-old self saying that, I think it's just silly, like you know. And just keep going and keep hope, keep hope alive.
Speaker 2:Well, you never know, they just might reach out Now in closing what do you feel that people need to hear about what you're doing? Just keeping hope, keeping hope, keep going, keep going and just don't give up, because a lot of times, like when I respond to medication in my 30s, like what's the point, my life's over. Well, now that I'm 43, hearing my 30-year-old self saying that, I think it's silly. And just keep going and keep hope alive.
Speaker 1:Absolutely Well. This has been great, Great conversation, great information. Thanks for coming on.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much for taking the time to interview me.
Speaker 1:Oh, it's been my pleasure. Thanks again. Thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule to listen to our show today. We hope that you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed bringing it to you. If you know anyone that would like to tell us their story, send them to TonyMantorcom Contact then they can give us their information so one day they may be a guest on our show. One more thing we ask tell everyone everywhere about why Not Me, the world, the conversations we're having and the inspiration our guests give to everyone everywhere that you are not alone in this world.