Tony Mantor: Why Not Me ?

Faria Arsh: How she started the Autism Foundation in the U.K.

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Faria Ash on Building the Autism Foundation, Training, Advocacy, and Safer Care in the UK
Host Tony Mantor welcomes back autism advocate Faria Ash, who returns to share her progress since discussing her book on toilet training for autistic and SEND children and adults, based on her nonverbal daughter Aia’s real-life story.
Faria explains that the book’s success led her to form the Autism Foundation in the UK (officially launched October 2023), expanding from workshops into autism training for communities, professionals, schools, and care homes, with a focus on communication, social interaction, repetitive behaviors, sensory impairments, and reducing challenging behaviors to improve quality of life. She describes launching an advocacy service to help parents navigate UK processes such as EHCP reports and school documentation so children receive appropriate support.
The conversation addresses misconceptions about autism—especially the idea that “autism is a superpower”—and outlines autism “levels” (1–3) through the core assessment areas of communication, social interaction, and repetitive behaviors.
Faria also discusses the overlap between autism and anxiety, emphasizing routines and structure as key supports, and shares challenges including resistance from authorities and difficulties fundraising to create a safe care facility amid reports of abuse in care settings.
For Autism Awareness Month, she emphasizes that true inclusion requires asking autistic people and families what practical accommodations would help them participate in schools, workplaces, and communities, and she shares how to find her online via autismfoundation.co.uk and her social media profiles.

Welcome to 'Why Not Me' — Autism & Mental Health Worldwide
Meet Your Host Tony Mantor + Why Following Helps
Introducing Guest Faria Ash & Her Growing Autism Foundation (UK)
What’s Changed Since Last Time: Book Launch, Foundation, and Care Facility Vision
How the Autism Foundation Started: Aia’s Story & Toilet Training Breakthrough
Training the Community: Sensory Needs, Communication, and Challenging Behavior
Foundation Growth: Care Homes, Professional Training, and Parent Advocacy (EHCPs)
Fixing Misconceptions: Social Media, ‘Autism as a Superpower,’ and Nonverbal Reality
Where to Start When Learning Autism: The 3 Core Areas (Communication, Social, Repetitive)
Explaining Autism Levels 1–3 (and What They Look Like Day-to-Day)
Autism & Anxiety Overlap: Why Routine Helps and How to Support It
Hard Lessons Building a Foundation: Authorities, Funding, and Safe Care for Vulnerable Adults
The Parents’ Resilience: Stories That Keep the Mission Going
Beyond Awareness Month: What Real Inclusion Looks Like in Communities
One Misconception to End: ‘Autism Is a Superpower’
How to Connect with Faria + What’s Next for the Foundation
Final Thanks & How to Share Your Story with the Show

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The content on Why Not Me: Embracing Autism amd Mental Health Worldwide, including discussions on mental health, autism, and related topics, is provided for informational and entertainment purposes only. 

The views and opinions expressed by guests are their own and do not re

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intro/outro music bed written by T. Wild
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SPEAKER_00

Welcome to Why Not Me, embracing autism and mental health worldwide. Hosted by Tony Mentor. Broadcasting from the heart of Music City, USA, Nashville, Tennessee. Join us as our guests share their raw, powerful stories. Some will spark laughter, others will move you to tears. These real-life journeys inspire, connect, and remind you that you're never alone. We're igniting a global movement to empower everyone to make a lasting difference by fostering deep awareness, unwavering acceptance, and profound understanding of autism and mental health. Tune in, be inspired, and join us in transforming the world one story at a time. Hi, I'm Tony Mantor. Welcome to Why Not Me, Embracing Autism and Mental Health Worldwide. If these conversations resonate with you, I invite you to tap follow. It helps us to reach more people who may need to hear them. Thank you for being here. Joining us today is Faria Arsh. She was on this podcast about a year and a half ago. She shared powerful insights about autism advocacy and the importance of community. Since that conversation, she hasn't just continued the work, she's taken it to an entirely new level. She is now the founder of a growing autism foundation in the UK, dedicated to empowering individuals on the spectrum, supporting families, and building real inclusion, not just awareness. So before we dive into our episode, we'll be back with an uninterrupted show right after a word from our sponsors. Thanks for joining us today.

SPEAKER_01

No, thanks for having me. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, it's my pleasure. Tell us about your journey since we last talked.

SPEAKER_01

So, since we last talked, that was probably at the beginning of the launch of my book, Toilet Training for Autistic and Send Children and Adults. Yes. So I had recently launched my book and we talked about that in depth. And since the launch, you know, I have um started a social enterprise called the Autism Foundation. And um also I have uh now started a new project. Basically, I want to get into the care sector, and I am raising funds to start a care facility in the UK.

SPEAKER_00

So give us a little insight. What inspired you to create the Autism Foundation?

SPEAKER_01

So the success of my book, which you know, is based on the real life story of my daughter Afia, who will be 18 next month.

SPEAKER_00

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_01

So she's going to turn 18 years old. Yes, I know. I I can't I can't believe it. Time is flying by. So it's it's based on her real life story. It's based on how I created a method for her to toilet train her at home, failing all support from um the you know health sector, the education sector, because nobody knows how to toilet train an autistic person, let alone a severely autistic person who's completely non-verbal as well. So after creating that method and launching the book, and the success of the book led to the formation of autism foundation, actually, because people started asking me, can I do training workshops which are linked to the book? And I was like, Yeah, of course, you know, I would love to do that. So I started doing those, which went really well. And then some organizations they approached me saying, we really need training on autism for the community and for professionals as well. And they said, Are you able to develop training for autism? I said, Of course I can, because I've been working in special schools for a long time. And now I am an ADOS to train assessor as well. So then I develop autism training, which kind of dwells into autism, communication, social interaction, repetitive behavior. I also look at sensory impairments because that is very important. It goes hand in hand with autism. A lot of people miss sensory impairments, so I talk in depth about sensory impairments and how they affect an autistic person. And then the second part of the training is purely based on behavior. How can we support an autistic person to overcome challenging behavior? Because autism comes with challenging behavior as well, which again, a lot of people may not understand or realize that how much challenging behavior is affecting an autistic person's quality of life. So both my trainings are based on improving the quality of life of these autistic people and their families and professionals as well.

SPEAKER_00

How long has it been since you launched the Autism Foundation?

SPEAKER_01

I launched it in October 2023. So I had already been doing my workshop since the launch of the book, which was in March 2023, and then I made Autism Foundation official in October 2023.

SPEAKER_00

From October 2023 until now, how have you seen it evolve and grow since the early beginnings of the foundation?

SPEAKER_01

It has evolved a lot because now we have a larger community. We have different people approaching us because I get a lot of queries from care homes as well. So there are loads of care homes who are, you know, catering for autistic people. And sadly, again, we come across the same thing, which is people who are working with autistic young adults or young children, they don't have adequate training on autism and how to support that autistic person. So that's when these organizations and care homes they approach me and I deliver my training. And I've also started an advocacy service because I realized a lot of parents and their children were being let down by the system because parents don't understand the system that well.

SPEAKER_00

Can you give us an example of what you mean when you say they don't understand the system?

SPEAKER_01

For example, you know, it could be school reports or an EHCP report. We have that in the UK here. It's uh the education and healthcare plan. Filling all of those questionnaires, doing all of that is a lot of extra work to start off with for a parent who's already caring for an autistic child. But how to navigate those things, that's another difficult area because not every parent is going to have all the time in the world to do research on how to build these forms, what to say in the EHCP plan, and so on. So that's where I have been helping parents to get the right support. Because when we fill in the questionnaires properly, when we do everything accordingly and how it's supposed to be, then these children get the right support. So that's what I have also started doing.

SPEAKER_00

How do you help bring more community awareness to autism? Not only here in the US, but the UK and worldwide, people still have this perception of what they think autism is. Yeah. But in real life, it's not even close to what it really is. So how do you help bring that perception to the community so more people can understand what autism is?

SPEAKER_01

Again, this is what I will always say knowledge is power. We all equip ourselves with the right knowledge as well at the same time because there's so much out there these days, especially with social media. Anybody can say anything, but is it actually true? You know, what is the basis behind that? What's the research behind that? Are we doing enough research to find out that message that I heard on social media or on Instagram read was that accurate enough? So that comes down to us really. As a community, we need to take that responsibility that we need to educate ourselves properly, and we only need to trust the reliable sources like yourself because you do your research before you have your guests on, and you basically are very well aware of what topics to talk about, so that you are spreading the awareness about autism, but you're also spreading the right awareness, you are not going on the basis of whatever anybody might say. So it falls to us, but I try my best through social media or you know, through any means that I have that I can spread as much awareness as possible about autism. A lot of people, uh, when they hear that Akia has autism, they automatically ask me, Oh, what's a special interest? What's a superpower? She must be so good at something specific because I know autistic people, they excel in one area. Well, yes, they do, but only a few autistic people excel in one area. Okay, not everybody. Autism is not a superpower. Whenever I hear this people saying, Oh, autism is a superpower, it really makes me upset because you're kind of highlighting just a few autistic people who are excelling, which is amazing, and I'm so pleased for them. But not the rest of the autistic people who are struggling every single day due to the most simplest things. What about them? Because all of these like people who don't know anything about autism, all they see is those clips of autistic people excelling in one area. So when people ask me, it really upsets me because you know, we are undermining the difficulties AFIA is going through every single day. It's really hard for her, you know, because impairments, she's completely non-verbal. I mean, imagine if somebody were to put a tape on my mouth and I'm not able to explain myself or ask for things I want. How frustrating that would be. So that's Fia's life, and every autistic person's life who's non-verbal, and especially even those who are verbal, they struggle to communicate. So imagine putting a you know, tape, a masking tip across your mouth, what being able to communicate. That's an autistic person's life every single day.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, exactly. If you were to pick one thing when a person is starting to understand autism, they might be finding that they are autistic, their child is autistic. What is one thing they could focus on that could help them so they could continue their journey to moving forward in life?

SPEAKER_01

Again, it will be pretty individual because some autistic people will um suffer with specific sensory impairments, for example, loud noises, and they will be fine in other areas of sensory issues or sensory integration. It's very, very specific to each autistic individual, if we were to put it like that. But when we look at autism, we always look at three areas. So, you know, I always knew this, but when I was doing my ADOS to assess the training, it was really confirmed to me that what I'm doing and teaching and what I know is accurate because during the assessment of autism, we look at three areas. We look at communication, we look at social interaction, and we look at repetitive behavior. So everybody on the spectrum, whether they're level one, level two, or level three, they will have impairments in these three areas. So even the most verbal autistic person, they may still have communication difficulties. So communication doesn't just mean talking, it also means understanding. They may be able to talk, and to us, it may seem like okay, this person is communicating just fine. But are they understanding what I'm saying? Are they comprehending everything that I am saying? Are they understanding and applying that in real life strategies? Probably not, because they have that communication difficulty. Yes.

SPEAKER_00

One of the main things about this podcast is to help people understand and learn more. Yes. I believe every week I can have a listener that is just learning about autism. Can you explain the levels of autism to these people that might not understand it?

SPEAKER_01

Of course, yes. So let's start with level one. That's basically described as mild autism. Some people get offended when I say mild because apparently we're not supposed to use the word mild, moderate, and severe anymore. I don't believe in that if it is mild level one, you know, just just say, say it. It's just easier for people to understand. Level one is mild, isn't it? So if I were to look at somebody who is on level one, they will be verbal most of the times. So they will be communicating, they'll have some speech. But as I said, communication doesn't just mean speech, you know, they may have some impairment to understand what everybody's saying, they may take things literally all the time because they won't have the understanding of, you know, looking at it from different point of views and so on. They will definitely have social interaction difficulties. I've never come across one autistic person who doesn't struggle with social interaction. So even if you see that the communication is good, I will know that person is autistic with their interaction.

SPEAKER_00

Do a lot of people struggle with that interaction?

SPEAKER_01

Every autistic person really struggles with their interaction. And either they don't know how to start the interaction, because you and I, you know, if you bump into each other, we will we will start small talk. Oh, how are you, Tony? Long time Nosy, and so on. We can start a conversation without even thinking. But an autistic person, they may bump into you, they go, hi Faria, and then what's next? Like they don't know what to say and how to keep that conversation going unless I talk about something of their interest, then they will talk forever. So every autistic person, they really struggle with interaction, even if they have the communication. And then the third area that we look at is the repetitive behavior. So they may say the same thing again and again. And um, autism also comes with anxiety. So people who are on level one, they are aware that there's something different about them because when they go out, they feel anxious, they are aware that okay, I'm not exactly the same as everybody else, my communication is a bit different, my interaction is a bit different. So they become really aware that they are different, although they might be putting up a mask and blending into the world, but they're internally aware of that fact. So that creates a lot of anxiety within them. So again, you know, we need to look out for those signs. If anybody is listening who does not know what autism is and what level one is, those are the things that you can look out for. You know, communication and social interaction is the main one that you will see, and you will be able to support an autistic person from the crowd from the interaction. And then we come to level two. So again, you know, the more severe you are going to go towards the spectrum, then the more kind of difficulties you will have, the more impairments and the more sensory impairments that you will see in an autistic person. So I gave you an example of level one with communication and social interaction. Just imagine that getting a little bit worse, you know, so the communication will be a little bit more poor and the interaction will be harder, and they may have more sensory impairments because they may really struggle in a supermarket because it's a crowded area, there's more noises, there's more smells of different foods, and so on. And then coming to the severe side of the spectrum, those like AFIA, they're completely non-verbal. You know, some severely autistic people they may have a few words here and there, but it's not enough for them to communicate every single day. So as we go across the spectrum, the difficulties will get more and more, and and so on.

SPEAKER_00

You just mentioned anxiety.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

I recently expanded my podcast to include mental health. I did that because I found that a lot of mental health issues overlap with autism. Of course. Some people just have anxiety, they get their medication and it is under control. Others have anxiety and they're autistic as well.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

How do you number one diagnose the overlap? Once you find that overlap is there, how do you help that autistic person better control their anxiety?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. So the statistics show that more than half of autistic people suffer from anxiety. So those are the stats, basically. Anxiety is really, really high in the autistic population. That is a given. When it's about managing anxiety, there are a number of strategies we can put in place to manage an autistic person's anxiety. So this one area I cover in my autism training and I emphasize on that quite a lot, which is the repetitive behavior, which I talked about a few times. Now, a lot of people think the repetitive behavior of an autistic person as an impairment or as kind of like something negative. For example, the autistic people, you know, anybody who has autism, they thrive on doing the same thing again and again because it makes sense to them, because they're aware of what's going to happen next, and that keeps the anxiety at bay. So it's easy for them to do the same thing again and again. Follow a specific routine, and that helps to keep the anxiety manageable. A lot of people think if the autistic person is following a specific routine every single day, we are making them more rigid. But I look at it from another point of view, a completely different point of view. And I say, look, autistic people will always want to follow a routine because it makes sense to them. And hence let's use that to help them manage their anxiety better. And we all are creatures of habit, occupers, all human beings. If I were to ask you, Tony, how do you get out of bed every single morning? How do you get ready? Now you're forced to think how you do that. I can bet on it that you do it the same way every single day without even thinking.

SPEAKER_00

Sure.

SPEAKER_01

Am I correct?

SPEAKER_00

Right.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. And we all do that. The things that we do every single day, we are not even having to think about it. We do it on autopilot because we all rely on structure and routine without even realizing. You know, a long time ago, we set that structure in our lives and we follow that. So it's the same for autistic people. I come across a lot of professionals and teachers. And also at home, parents are really concerned and teachers are concerned about the fact that this autistic person is really rigid and they should adapt change and they should do things differently. But I say, why? What if I come to your house and change everything? Would you like it? No, you wouldn't. Nobody would. Because we all like a routine, we all rely on structure. But autistic people rely on structure more than anybody else because it makes sense to them. If they've done it a few times, they know the pattern of doing it again and they will carry on doing it. And it helps the anxiety because they're not expecting the unexpected, you know, it really helps the anxiety. So putting in a routine, a structure in an autistic person's life is the best way to manage their anxiety. I would really emphasize this to all the professionals, all the parents, that if an autistic person is rigid and they want to do things in a specific way, let them. It makes sense to them. Unless it's actually creating a very negative habit and it's becoming a hindrance in their lives and everybody else's life, then of course change that. But if they are managing their life better, they're happy, their anxiety is lower, let them do it. There's no harm in that.

SPEAKER_00

Exactly. Now coming back to your foundation, when you start a foundation, it is not easy.

SPEAKER_01

No, not at all.

SPEAKER_00

What has been one of the toughest lessons you've learned in doing this? You started this foundation understanding autism because of raising your daughter. So because of that, you knew certain things would happen and you understood it. But when you're starting a foundation and you're working with other people, there's challenges you face, bumps in the road. So, what is one of the toughest lessons you've learned in this journey?

SPEAKER_01

My toughest lesson has been dealing with authorities. They have been the most difficult ever. My easiest climbs are parents because I understand where they're coming from. They know I'm a parent of a severely autistic child and we gel really well and so on. I work with a lot of schools, I work with, as I said, care sex sectors. All of those times they have been easy enough, but the toughest journey so far has been dealing with authorities because authorities are so rigid in their own way of not wanting any change because here I'm bringing change. I've launched this book on toilet training. Authorities are not happy about the fact that, oh, the NHS did not come up with a book. How come this mother has come up with a book? So authorities are finding it very, very difficult to accept. I have had some people from the NHS who recognize how good the book is, how good the method is. They have welcomed me into their hospitals and trained other people over there, which has been really nice. But the wider authority, getting my message across to them, is really difficult because they're so rigid in their own ways and they don't accept change whatsoever. So that's been a huge challenge for me.

SPEAKER_00

I can understand that. Any other challenges?

SPEAKER_01

Another challenge is now, as I said, I have started a GoFundMe page for to branch out in the care sector and raising money for such a good cause. Actually, this is a really good cause because we need to provide the safe place for autistic and disabled people. And currently, I'm sure Tony, you are aware as well, in the USA, in the UK, we see this in the news all the time. There is so much abuse happening with autistic and disabled people in these care homes, in these care sectors. And for parents like myself, we live in the fear of, of course, we're not going to be in this world for the rest of our lives. What is going to happen to our children after we are born? We live with this fear every single day. We see this in the news that these autistic and disabled people who literally cannot speak and defend themselves are being abused. So what hope do we have? I am basically trying to create a safe place for these autistic and most vulnerable people in our society. But sadly, not many people are even supportive of this. Everybody turns a blind eye because as soon as we see some abuse on the news, we just change the channel. We're like, okay, it's too hard to watch. I'm not going to watch it anymore. Change the channel, brush it under the rug so that it's not there. Nobody knows about what's happening. Just parents like myself, we are really aware because it affects our children and us, we watch that news, doesn't matter how hard it is. So despite the fact that it is such an important cause, it's such a noble cause, raising money has been really difficult. It's sad in a way because it just shows how much the world cares about vulnerable people. Sadly, you know, we are on our own, to be honest, at the end of the day.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, that's true. Whenever you hear a story, lots of times stories will stay with you.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Is there a child or a family that reminds you of why you do this work? Even on the harder days?

SPEAKER_01

Is there a child or a family?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Uh you know what? I have come across so many amazing parents, and I know their children through them. I don't directly get to work with the children because my primary role is working with the parents, professionals, and you know, other care sectors to train them on autism and how to cater for people with autism. But as I said, my favorite and my best times are these parents. And is there a specific parent? Um, I may not have a specific one, but I've got so many amazing parents, and we formed such beautiful relationships because we all understand each other. We have formed a beautiful community for each other and support network. Each parent, this is what I would say. They're working really hard. They are literally trying their best. And I kid you not, I get to hear stories such as the child has been awake since four o'clock in the morning, the parents have been on the go constantly, the mom hasn't had a chance to have a meal, and the child's constantly self-harming and whatever, and they've only had four hours of sleep. It's like these stories which are constant and it's happening every single day. But the resilience these parents have, it's unbelievable. It's so heartwarming, it's lovely, but at the same time, it's just a sad story that these people are going through so much, but at the same time, their resilience is really inspiring.

SPEAKER_00

April is Autism Awareness Month, and this episode will be in that month.

SPEAKER_01

Amazing.

SPEAKER_00

What do you feel is true inclusion? When we have Autism Awareness Month, it goes so far past being aware of it. It is real inclusion in school, work, and communities. How do we get this across to people that there needs to be more understanding than just more awareness?

SPEAKER_01

Yes, of course. And I really like that, uh, Tony, what you've said. So there needs to be inclusivity as well, as you know, alongside awareness. Because awareness on its own, what are we achieving if we are not actually taking the next step, isn't it? So we have to take the next step which is going to make a real life impact in an autistic person's life. Otherwise, awareness on its own isn't really making an impact, to be honest. What I would say is ask the autistic person if they are well enough, or ask their parents and families, how can we make this autistic person more inclusive in our community? That is the best way. Because let's say, you know, I'm a Muslim woman and I don't get to go go to the mosque, or somebody who is a church go-goer, they may not be able to go to the church because they are caring for their autistic son or autistic daughter on a Sunday. If the church or mosque approaches them and they go, if you would like to come, we would love to welcome you. How can we make it more inclusive for your daughter or your son? Then I can give them tips and advice. I can say, actually, can you tell everybody to manage their noises? Or can you, you know, dim the lights a little bit because my child is quite sensitive to lights? Or can you have specific snacks because my child really likes it and they'll be happier if they see those snacks are there? Every autistic individual is different. And to make the community more inclusive, we need to take this first step of reaching out to these autistic people and their families and saying, what is the bare minimum we can do to make this autistic person and you feel more included in the community?

SPEAKER_00

Now you've been doing this for a long time. You've been raising your daughter almost 18 years now. With all the information that is out there about autism, all the conversations people have had about autism. What is the one misconception that you think is still prevalent that needs to be addressed?

SPEAKER_01

As I was saying before, this comes to my mind again and again that autism is a superpower. That misconception really needs to go. Even even if you see the most able autistic person who's thriving, who has a special interest on social media and you know they're doing really well in their lives. Even if you were to go and ask them, do you think autism is a superpower? they will start no because they still have those challenges with anxiety. They will, they're bound to have challenges regardless of how they present themselves because they have autism. And uh yeah, it's not a superpower. I'm sorry, guys. If if this offends somebody, I really apologize because that's not my intention. This misconception of autism being a superpower, I think that needs to be stopped.

SPEAKER_00

How do people find you?

SPEAKER_01

So they can go on my website, www.autismfoundation.co.uk. I'm available on social media. So Facebook, if they type in my name Faria Ursh, they can find me there. If you type in Autism Foundation on Instagram, you'll find Autism Foundation. And I'm also on LinkedIn with my name Faria Ursh. And we also have an autism foundation page.

SPEAKER_00

What do you see in your future? What is next for your foundation? What do you see on the horizon?

SPEAKER_01

So my um driving force at the moment is working and expanding into the care sector. And I know it is possible. I know it's possible to hire good people who are compassionate to work with autistic and disabled people. I know that I can personally provide them adequate and high quality training so they are well equipped to support an autistic and disabled person. And I know that this change is possible. It's not rocket science. You know, we just need to invest money and time into the right area. So we are enhancing the life of the service user. So that is my big project coming up, and I'm working really hard behind the scenes. Not a lot is happening in front of the scenes. Like at the moment, not many people can see what I'm doing to do with the care sector, but I'm having to work a lot behind the scenes, and hopefully everything will start surfacing very soon.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I hope so too. Well, this has been great. Great information, great conversation. I really appreciate you taking the time to join me today.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you so much for having me. It's been a pleasure speaking with you, Tony. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, it's been my pleasure. Thanks again. Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to listen to our show today. We hope you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed bringing it to you. If you know someone who has a story to share, tell them to contact us at why notme.world. One last thing. Spread the word about why not me. Our conversations, our inspiring guests that show. You are not alone in this world.