Lois Brady: Publishing Autism Digest and Exploring Real Stories and Experiences

Lois Brady on Autism Digest, Real Stories, and Raising Expectations in Autism Support
Host Tony Mantor welcomes Lois Brady, publisher of Autism Digest and a speech-language pathologist, to discuss how the magazine blends expert guidance with lived experience using multimedia features like QR-linked videos.
Brady shares how writing Apps for Autism and contributing to Autism, Asperger’s Digest led to her acquiring the publication nearly two years ago. As the mother of an autistic son, she describes early signs, being brushed off by providers, choosing not to label him in school, and the long-term effort that helped him become independent and employed, though social challenges remain.
Brady emphasizes early identification, practical parent strategies, and avoiding the Rosenthal Effect of low expectations, including teaching non-speaking individuals to type.
She describes a breakthrough with a non-speaking child using text-to-speech, addresses public misconceptions, contrasts meltdowns with tantrums, discusses Asperger’s being folded into autism, highlights Temple Grandin’s practical advice, and explores how AI can support early intervention and diagnostic cues.
00:00 Show Intro and Mission
01:21 Meet Lois Brady
02:18 How Autism Digest Began
04:28 Early Career and Inspiration
05:14 A Mom’s Diagnosis Journey
07:39 Early Signs and Adulthood Today
09:16 How Autism Understanding Evolved
10:33 Raising Expectations and Communication
12:16 Typing Breakthrough Story
14:24 Lessons from Autistic Voices
16:06 Media Myths and Public Understanding
17:43 Aspergers vs Autism
18:17 AI for Early Support
21:10 From Cure to Support
22:51 Temple Grandin Wisdom
24:25 Meltdowns vs Tantrums
25:41 Stories and Rising Rates
28:52 Success and High Expectations
29:57 Transitions and Exposure
31:06 Ask Learn Connect

INTRO/OUTRO Music: T. Wild
Mantor Music BMI

The content on Why Not Me: Embracing Autism amd Mental Health Worldwide, including discussions on mental health, autism, and related topics, is provided for informational and entertainment purposes only. 

The views and opinions expressed by guests are their own and do not reflect those of the podcast, its hosts, or affiliates.

Why Not Me is not a medical or mental health professional and does not endorse or verify the accuracy, efficacy, safety of any treatments, programs, or advice discussed.

Listeners should consult qualified healthcare professionals, such as licensed therapists, psychologists, or physicians, before making decisions about mental health or autism- related care.

Reliance on this podcast's contents is at the listener's own risk. 

Why Not Me is not liable for any outcomes, financial or otherwise, resulting from actions taken based on the information provided.

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intro/outro music bed written by T. Wild
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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:06

Welcome to Why Not Me, embracing autism and mental health worldwide. Hosted by Tony Mentor. Broadcasting from the heart of Music City, USA, Nashville, Tennessee. Join us as our guests share their wrong, powerful stories. Some will spark laughter, others will move you to tears. These real life journeys inspire, connect, and remind you that you're never alone. We're igniting a global movement to empower everyone to make a lasting difference by fostering deep awareness, unwavering acceptance, and profound understanding of autism and mental health. Tune in, be inspired, and join us in transforming the world one story at a time. Hi, I'm Tony Mantor. Welcome to Why Not Me, Embracing Autism and Mental Health Worldwide. Before we jump in, if you haven't already, I invite you to tap follow. It only takes a couple of seconds and it helps this show reach more families who need to hear these conversations. Thanks for being here. Joining us today is Lois Brady. She's the publisher of Autism Digest, a publication dedicated to sharing knowledge, resources, and real life experiences from across the autistic community. Through her work, she's helped create a platform where information meets real experience, helping families better understand autism while giving a voice to those who are navigating it daily. Her work continues to help shape conversation around understanding, inclusion, and support for individuals and families worldwide. Today we're going to talk about the evolving conversation around autism, the importance of sharing real stories, and how platforms like Autism Digest help bring those voices to the forefront. We've got a great conversation coming, so before we dive into our episode, we'll be back with an uninterrupted show right after a word from our sponsors. Thanks for joining us today. Yeah, no problem. Be fun. Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. You publish the Autism Digest. For those that may not be aware of it, can you share a little bit about the magazine?

SPEAKER_02 2:24

I do, Tony. I am the publisher of Autism Digest, which came about to me in kind of um an odd way. I'm a language pathologist by trade. When technology first came out, specifically like the iPad, when Steve Jobs stood up on the stage and announced the iPad, almost instant I realized that that could be a great tool for people with autism. So I got one and I started researching and I wrote the book, Apps for Autism. So of course, at that moment, you become the expert. Now I'm a speech language pathologist and a technology expert. And I started writing for um at that time it was Autism Asperger's Digest. I've written a book for Future Horizons, which at that time published also Autism Asperger's Digest. And they're in Texas, and they were uh a family-owned company, publishing company. And um, I I really like them. So when they were getting ready to sell it, they asked me, and I'm like, oh my gosh, no, I'm too busy. But oh my gosh, that's so tempting. That's that's incredibly tempting. I'm gonna go ahead and take it on. And I did, and I love it. It's a great way to kind of get all the experience that I have in my 30 years of being a speech language pathologist, plus knowing all the experts in the field and all the parents and just meeting and working with probably tens of thousands of families to take that experience and to give people good information, not just information, because there's a ton out there, Tony. You know, you're you're in the business and everybody has information, but I feel that I'm in a particular position where I can actually pick out what's the greatest information and entertain people as well. I've put in um like QR codes where you can go to movies or go to videos, and I'm trying to make it more of just absorbing information, but kind of like submersing yourself into the information, multimodality. That's kind of where we are now, and I'm really proud of it. I've had it for almost two years.

SPEAKER_01 4:26

I'm right there with you. You should be proud of it. Tell us what inspired your passion for this?

SPEAKER_02 4:30

Um, originally, Tony, I just don't know. I used to go to, oh my gosh, this is gonna age me, but it was called the Stockton State Hospital.

SPEAKER_01 4:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 4:41

Which uh then turned into developmental centers and now have been kind of um dissolved and volunteer. And I love, love, love working there. From that experience, I I thought I was gonna go into um teaching deaf kids and I learned sign language, and then autism became a thing. And it was so um different at the time. This is like 30 years ago. Nobody knew what it was. And then I had a son who was on the spectrum, and that's when I took the deep dive. I'm like, oh my gosh, okay, time to figure it out.

SPEAKER_01 5:13

Now, you being the mother of an autistic son, how did that change your perspective on what you had planned on doing? And then ultimately, how did it change on what you did do moving forward?

SPEAKER_02 5:27

As a mom? Yeah. As a career?

SPEAKER_01 5:29

Well, let's do both. But let's start out with the mom first.

SPEAKER_02 5:33

And the mom, well, you know, it completely changes your whole perspective. You know, there's that moment where you've had this son, and it was my first son, and he's you have all these plans, everyone does. And then there's that second where you look into his eyes and you're like, something's wrong. Something's not right, I gotta figure it out. And you start digging and working and digging. And then it was over 30 years ago, Tony. This is 32 years ago. And I took him to his pediatrician. Oh, he's just a boy. And I'm like, no, he's not just a boy. There's actually things he's doing. I'm a speech language pathologist. I know what just boys are, and what behavior that's not quite in the norm is, too. He's he's not doing things typical boys do. But I got brushed off, brushed off. And I think unfortunately, parents still do get brushed off. I mean, I was speaking with a mom who had a young little girl, two years old, just the other day, Tony, and she was telling me that one of her providers from a state organization, I'm not gonna say the one, told her not to even get them checked until this little girl's three years old, don't even worry about it, she'll grow out of it.

SPEAKER_01 6:36

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 6:37

This was just the other day. And I'm like, oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 6:40

That's amazing.

SPEAKER_02 6:41

Yeah, yeah. And in the middle of California, where you think, you know, there's a lot of information here. We're very progressive, cutting edge, and here this is still happening.

SPEAKER_00 6:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:52

Yeah, back then. So of course my aim changed. I was up and I hear this story over and over again, all night long on the computer, figuring out what to do, where to take them, what my best choices were.

SPEAKER_00 7:05

Right.

SPEAKER_02 7:05

And and I have to say, unfortunately, as a therapist working in the school districts, I knew, and this is gonna be controversial, okay, that that was not my option.

SPEAKER_00 7:16

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 7:17

Giving him over to the special ed system would make him worse and just create conflict. And, you know, so I didn't. Yeah, I did not even have him labeled ever. You know, it's a parent's choice. I hear people say it's good, people say not to. It was my personal choice not to have him labeled in to just send him through school.

SPEAKER_01 7:38

Sure. So, what were some of the things you started noticing that didn't quite seem typical compared to the other children his age?

SPEAKER_02 7:48

Yeah, yeah. This lining up his little cars, okay, you know, not able to stay. Uh, he was verbal. So that part was, you know, uh a blessing. And he was uh one of the the hyperverbal kids who would fixate. Yeah. Where it was going.

SPEAKER_00 8:14

Right.

SPEAKER_02 8:14

So he was one of one of those guys, and um, just unusual physical movements besides the stimmy, sure, kind of a robotic gait, unable to make friends, yeah, a little bit of headbanging.

SPEAKER_01 8:28

Where is he today?

SPEAKER_02 8:30

Today he's grown up, he's in construction, he has a job, he has a car, he drives. Nice, you know, he lives on his own. Okay, he still has significant trouble with the friendship stuff, right? You know, reading other people, the the whole um dating and opposite sex thing is still very mysterious to him.

SPEAKER_01 8:51

That's understanding.

SPEAKER_02 8:52

So, yeah, but he's functioning, he's out there. I'm telling you, Tony, it was a lot of work on parents' part.

SPEAKER_00 8:58

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 8:58

And from what I've seen through all my career, if there is that person, that parent, that one, whoever it is, who does not give up and stays there, the child usually does very well.

SPEAKER_01 9:11

Building that kind of bond and relationship takes a lot of work and understanding. You mentioned earlier that just a few days ago someone told you don't do it, which is pretty surprising. When you think back 25, 30 years ago, how have you seen the understanding and diagnosis of autism change compared to what it is today?

SPEAKER_02 9:34

Yeah, um, for the most part, that's rare that I see and hear that. That that's a little scary, a little rare, but now we have technology.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

Yeah, that's so true.

SPEAKER_02 9:43

I'm even creating tools for early intervention.

SPEAKER_01 9:46

That's great.

SPEAKER_02 9:47

Early diagnosis. Like me, I saw something that was different in my child, something that was wrong.

SPEAKER_00 9:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:54

At the time, there was no autism. We didn't even learn autism in school. We had one half an hour lecture on autism. You know, we all kind of like took notes and then it was gone. Yeah. So um, when I saw him, I I really was like, something's wrong. I'm not sure what it was.

SPEAKER_01 10:10

That's interesting you mentioned that. A speech therapist who inspired me to start this podcast once told me that during her four years of college, she only had a small portion of one semester that focused on autism. Now, fast forward 20, 30 years, there are entire courses and programs dedicated to it. With that kind of progress, what innovations or research do you think are most important for us to focus on moving forward?

SPEAKER_02 10:43

You know, and I've written about this several times in Autism Digest. I think we have, and I don't know if you you know the Rosenthal effect. We have that for our kids with autism. And I think in the schools, it's super pervasive. I think even parents have it to a certain degree because I'm trying to coach them and talk to them, and they, you know, parents are over helpers. It's like, you know, I have people writing in my magazine who are non-speakers. Teach these kids to type, teach them how that's their mode of expression. Many of my um people on the autism spectrum, if they're gonna communicate, it's gonna be typing, talking, and gestures and some kind of um what do I call idiosyncratic language. But they can learn to type. Teach them to type. Oh my goodness, that is what I found to be a huge key. But now I run into the Rosenthal effect where people are assuming already that these kids they can't talk. Well, how in the heck can they type? What's and if they're being, you know, if they're stimming or humming or whatever it is they are, people almost all the time say they're also developmentally disabled. And so until they can talk, why in the heck would I even teach them how to type? So that's my, you know, that that would be my key. Don't put limits on them. Teach them, you know, real life things. You know, you see these kids, they're they're teenagers, they're already all over YouTube and you know, managing these things. And I'm like, Did you teach them to type? Well, no, I didn't think about that. Well, he's already on there.

SPEAKER_01 12:13

Yeah, that's such a great point. Is there a time or a moment in your life, either with autism digest or being the mother of an autistic child, where a certain moment or experience with someone on the autism spectrum really shifted your perspective and the way you look at autism?

SPEAKER_02 12:35

Yeah, yeah, I have that little guy. He's still here.

SPEAKER_01 12:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 12:39

And it was the first time I actually um took this very what most people would say profound young man.

SPEAKER_00 12:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 12:47

Spent his afternoon screaming, um, crying. He lived in a group home. But there was something about this little guy. I could see that when the teacher put her Starbucks on the table, the second she turned around, he was over there getting it. So he's watching. And if you see those things, you're like, well, there's a level of intelligence, you know.

SPEAKER_00 13:06

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_02 13:07

And he was, I don't know, maybe let's just say eight. He was still um having trouble using the bathroom. So oh my God, he's so low. And um, I realized he would walk around with these little styrofoam letters in his hands. And I said, you know, let's just take those letters and spell your name. And so I spelled it. And then I picked up my phone and I put it in my text-to-speech. So we spelled it in the text to speech, and then I put speak and he heard it. And he turned around and he looked and he's like, Oh my gosh, you know, and I'm like, Oh my, I think I just, you know, turned on a light here. So we were doing all kinds of things like spelling hi and my name and come back the next session and he remembered it.

SPEAKER_01 13:46

Nice.

SPEAKER_02 13:47

And I'm like, oh my gosh. So this little child learned to type, and then he became self-taught because he realized that he could do that, that's something he can do. He started typing, but then it got heartbreaking because as he got better and better, we realized that, like I said, he lived in a group home. He was very bitter about that.

SPEAKER_00 14:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:06

And that's why he was crying most afternoons because he was very angry with his mom because she anyway, it turns into a sadder, darker story at that point. And I'm like, oh my, here's this little child, and nobody knew what was going on. And now we have we can address it.

SPEAKER_01 14:22

So yeah, that makes sense. Now, some of the best teachers of autism are those who are autistic. Yes. So tell me, what have you learned over the years from autistic people that you might not have learned if they were not autistic?

SPEAKER_02 14:39

Oh my gosh. Probably, you know, um, just in myself, how to navigate the world and realize that my actions really have an effect on other people, you know, because that's what we try to teach them, that what you do affects other people. And just to learn how to do that better myself. I don't think I would have learned that because we're all kind of a little bit shut off to other people in our own world. But when you start like really trying to get into other people's world and then bring them to yours, you just kind of like start feeling everybody else's like energy and empathy and and become aware of it and really navigate that much better.

SPEAKER_01 15:19

Over the years, you've had so many stories that have come to you through the autism digest. Is there a special story or moment that has stayed with you all these years coming from someone this autistic?

SPEAKER_02 15:31

Oh, you know, there's so many and they're all similar. Yeah. There's not one that sticks out, there's just the story.

SPEAKER_00 15:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:40

And it's my story. It's the mom with the son, usually the son, and how her life has changed because she's been struggling to try to raise this son with autism.

SPEAKER_00 15:53

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 15:54

Learn how to do it, and that's the story.

SPEAKER_00 15:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:57

I say mom, it's typically mom, right.

SPEAKER_01 16:06

Autism has received a lot more media attention, especially in the last 20 or 30 years. But sometimes the message is just not always accurate. And that can leave families feeling very confused. When people hear the word autism, many still do not understand what it means. With all that confusion, it can make the journey for an autistic family even more difficult. What do you think we need to do to create a clear understanding for the word autism to the public?

SPEAKER_02 16:43

You know, um, I've been asked that before. Someone asked me, can you explain autism to me like like I'm a toddler?

SPEAKER_00 16:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:51

And I'm like, I I can't.

SPEAKER_00 16:53

Right.

SPEAKER_02 16:54

You have to know those folks, and you have to know each one is different. And I think like somebody, the main, the general public has a perception of maybe Sheldon on the Big Bang theory.

SPEAKER_00 17:05

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:05

Someone like that. And that that's okay. And that's why they're saying, leave them alone, let them live like they want to live. But my perception is very, very different because right now, if you walk into a school, you're gonna find a one, maybe two classrooms full of very young, autistic, very severe kids. And these kids can't talk. These kids are running out of the classroom into the street, you know, and and there's this whole movement towards empathy, which I get, and just you know, live with them and learn how to embrace them. And it's like, but they're running out in the street, you know. We gotta teach them certain things.

SPEAKER_00 17:41

Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:43

So, yeah, those two movements don't get along with each other because people have different perceptions of what autism is.

SPEAKER_00 17:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:50

And I think when they took Asperger's away and moved it in with autism, it was a huge disservice because Asperger's is not autism.

SPEAKER_00 17:59

Right.

SPEAKER_02 18:00

They're very, very different kinds of symptoms and very different ways that we manage those symptoms communication-wise.

SPEAKER_00 18:08

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_02 18:09

I think that was a huge disservice to clump them together. And I'm not even sure why that happened. It's probably something financial.

SPEAKER_01 18:17

One of the things I heard recently really caught me off guard. I was talking with a gentleman who had just gone through the process of being evaluated for autism. The reason he started that journey was because his 10-year-old daughter had been diagnosed. She actually told him she thought he might be autistic too. Here's the fascinating part. He uses AI, specifically Chat GPT, a lot in his work and had about two or three years of conversation stored there. When he asked it to look at patterns and those interactions, it pointed out traits commonly associated with autism. So now, even undiagnosed, because of commonalities with his daughter, he now believes he is autistic as well. So this raises an interesting question. How do you see AI and emerging technologies helping people better understand autism? And how do you see it supporting people that are on the spectrum?

SPEAKER_02 19:14

I think, you know, and and like I say, I'm using I'm developing one right now, but if we can identify kids as early as possible and start working with them as early as possible, we can really suppress a lot of the characteristics and a lot of the things that really make it difficult as they grow older. We can super help parents with strategies. I mean, if there's there's just maybe 10 strategies that are so easy to implement. And if we taught the parents, as your child's growing up, you know, and he wants something, most parents will say, Oh, is it this you want? Is it this? Is it this? You know, get them to point, get them to do a sign, whatever it is, and give them choices and just teach those strategies. We could really avoid a lot of problems as they're growing up. AI can help us do that. So I have right now on um on autism digest, you could go in and say, Hey, I'm cooking pasta tonight. I have a um non-speaking, let's see, five-year-old. How can I use this little dinner cooking event to help my non-speaking five-year-old learn going to tension? You can even go that detailed and it'll tell you or give you all these wonderful strategies. And I love that about the LLMs. It doesn't have to be Chat GPT.

SPEAKER_00 20:29

Right.

SPEAKER_02 20:30

ChatGPT is just one of them. There's a lot of them out there now. Yeah, and it's they're so supportive. Now the diagnosis where actually there's vocal characteristics. So we can get a little sample of a voice, whether it's a word or not, and run it through our system. And we can tag certain characteristics. We can say that's for diagnostic purposes. So if you have any suspicions at all, something's wrong, just go ahead and start the strategies. They're super easy. It doesn't mean you don't love your child, it doesn't mean you're not being a great parent. These are very easy strategies that you can start. And all you have to do is go to a chat GPT. What are some strategies for early intervention for autism? Boom. Up there.

SPEAKER_01 21:10

We've come a long way since the 50s and the 60s when autism really wasn't understood at all. When I talk with families today, I still hear stories where someone shares their diagnosis and people around them think it's something that can be cured or fixed. Yeah, I know. The truth is it's not about fixing anything. It's just a different way the brain processes and receives information. You can explain that to people, but sometimes it fully doesn't register with them. No. How do we shift the conversation on how to fix autism to helping people understand it so that individuals on the spectrum have the tools and support they need to navigate a world that wasn't originally designed for them?

SPEAKER_02 21:54

Yes, yes, give them their best life possible.

SPEAKER_01 21:57

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 21:58

That's what we want to do. It is a brain. Difference. There is no uh fixing it. And I think a lot of the early messaging was it is a condition that we're looking for the cure.

SPEAKER_00 22:08

Right.

SPEAKER_02 22:09

You know, and I think the early messaging is is still there. And, you know, maybe there are things we can do. I don't know yet. You know, I have my personal biases about what can make it worse, trigger it. I know it triggered my own sons. And, you know, it's very controversial. And if you say anything, either you're on this side or that side. And it's like I'm not on two sides. This is what triggered my son, and I know it as a fact. But I've heard other parents say it, you know, the waters are muddy, they're really muddy, and you know, the true voices come out like like Temple Grandon. Look at Temple Grandon. She's still Temple Brandon in her what 80s, according to her. There's no cure, okay? She's learned to live within her own self and she's happy.

SPEAKER_01 22:51

Yeah, and you bring up Temple Grandon. I had her on my podcast twice.

SPEAKER_00 22:55

Isn't she great?

SPEAKER_01 22:56

Yes, she is. She had a consistent thing she would say, and that was give me a pilot's checklist. I can check it off and I'll get it done. That's the best way for me to understand what you want to get done. The interesting thing that I found about Temple Grandin is that some people seem to view her in two very different ways. Some see her as having one of the most important voices and platforms in the autism community. Yeah. While others feel her perspective reflects an earlier era. Yet many of the things she talks about are common sense, practical, and rooted in real-world experience. How do we help people appreciate that age or experience does not necessarily make someone's insight outdated?

SPEAKER_02 23:41

You know, she's she's a scientist and she loves technology. And I when I first got into the autism world, she was my go-to.

SPEAKER_01 23:49

Yeah, understandably.

SPEAKER_02 23:50

Even in my speech therapy sessions, she published, I think it was 28 teaching tips.

SPEAKER_00 23:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:57

I still use today. They're fantastic. Right. Give them to my parents and I say use these. It doesn't change. Autism had not changed.

SPEAKER_00 24:08

Right.

SPEAKER_02 24:08

Autism is autism. So whether you're in your 80s or you're 10 years old, you're still gonna have the same kinds of symptoms and the same things are gonna help you.

SPEAKER_01 24:19

In many ways, autism hasn't changed. The way individuals experience the world is the same. What's evolving is how society responds to it. But there's still a lot of misunderstanding. I recently spoke with parents supporting their child through a meltdown, trying to give them the space they needed to regulate. People around them assumed it was poor parenting when in reality it was exactly what the child needed. Yeah, I know. How do we shift people's awareness so situations like that are met with empathy and understanding rather than criticism? There is a difference between a meltdown and a temper tantrum.

SPEAKER_02 24:59

Yes, yes, the huge difference. And Tony, I I don't know. It's I look at it in if I can hit one parent at a time, and even even if I tell them and explain to them the differences, it takes so long for the parent to understand that themselves. Like, oh my gosh, it's so hard. So I think, you know, things like autism digest, things like what you're doing, just continuing pushing the information out there. You look at things like we all know it's it's bad to eat at McDonald's, and oh my god, don't feed your kids that stuff. But how many hobby meals do they serve a day? People don't want to know things, they just want to live their lives.

SPEAKER_01 25:41

When I first started exploring autism podcasts, many of them were incredibly knowledgeable, but they were also very clinical. There were acronyms and terminology that someone new to autism might not understand. I kept thinking about parents who had just heard their children's diagnosis. If that's the first thing they hear, it could feel so overwhelming. That's why I wanted this podcast to be different, to focus on the human stories, because when people hear real experiences, they tend to begin to understand autism in a way that clinical language alone can't provide. I think the stories are very important for people to hear because it's very relatable.

SPEAKER_02 26:20

Yes. Yes. More stories. And, you know, I know that we're having a debate on the explosion of autism. What's really causing it? Is it identification? Are they really more kids with autism? Bottom line is yes, there are. There's a lot more. I mean, I again I've been here 30, 35 years, and where I used to have only one non-speaking, now I got a whole caseload. It's like, okay, so they weren't hiding anywhere. These are non-speaking, very severe little kids. So, what helped me? I actually picked up a couple books written by non-speaking um people. There's Ido Kadar, Pena, Daniel Pena, Carly Fleischmann. So pick up those books. They tell great stories about their lives. What does it feel like to try to talk? Why do you slam your hands sometime? You know, why are you going like this? There's reasons. Carly told this great story. She went to school, and the teacher said she just kept flicking her head and was wondering, did she have a headache? Did you check with the dentist? And essentially, when Carly was able to type and learn to communicate, she said no, there was a cute boy in class and she was flicking her hair. It was like, those are great stories from the people themselves. So pick up those books. They're they're inspirational.

SPEAKER_00 27:35

They are.

SPEAKER_02 27:36

When I go around and talk about technology, those are the first books I bring up. Look at these are non-speaking individuals who actually sat there and typed these things out. And again, I understand there's a controversy there too.

SPEAKER_01 27:48

I hate to say this. I think they can create a controversy on anything they want to create.

SPEAKER_02 27:54

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 27:56

What I think it comes down to is common sense.

SPEAKER_02 27:59

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 27:59

One of the beautiful things about what you do with Autism Digest and what I try to do with this podcast is storytelling. Some of the stories people have shared with me are ones I'll never forget. And I think that's a huge reason Autism Digest has been so successful, because you're telling real stories that people can connect with. When people don't understand something, stories help them begin to see in a way facts alone sometimes can't. The reality is unless someone is living that experience every day, they'll probably never fully understand autism the way an autistic person or their family does. I know I don't have that lived experience. What I have is a basic understanding. But through conversations like this and through people sharing their stories, we can at least help others gain insight and understanding even if they haven't walked that path themselves.

SPEAKER_02 28:51

Yeah, exactly. And I've started really putting some success stories in there.

SPEAKER_00 28:56

Oh, nice.

SPEAKER_02 28:57

I got entrepreneurs.

SPEAKER_00 28:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:59

It's not a lifetime of being, you know, locked in a room. No, these people are doing things, even if they're not what I want to say, like the the um Asperger's guys. There's some people who have trouble communicating. Yeah. They're going to college, they're doing all kinds of things. You know, again, I come back to the Rosenthal syndrome. Don't put limitations on them. And that's what Temple says too. Her mom pushed her to go to college. Her mom pushed her to go to her aunt's farm, and the best thing she could have done.

SPEAKER_00 29:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:29

You know, don't protect them, don't hover over them and just keep pushing them forward.

SPEAKER_01 29:35

Yes, give them the same opportunity that you would give to a neurotypical child. Right. There will be certain limitations that both of them will have.

SPEAKER_02 29:45

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 29:45

Like the old saying, you've seen one autistic person, you've seen one autistic person. Everyone's different and they all have different things that they can do throughout their life.

SPEAKER_02 29:55

Right. Right. And here's another, I'm I'm going to throw this out here because I think this is super important.

SPEAKER_00 30:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 30:01

You know, they have the transitions are huge for people with autism. And um, if you have a youngster, they don't like to go anywhere. They like to sit in front of the TV. And if you leave them there, that's where they're going to be.

SPEAKER_00 30:13

Right.

SPEAKER_02 30:13

And I remember taking my son and going to the park at least twice a day. And the second he thought I was going to go to the park, he'd start crying. And then there was a tantrum. And at that point, I almost just said, forget it. But I picked him up and I took him, crying, screaming, sat him into the car. We're going to the park. You're going to sit there with the other kids. I don't care what you do. You're just going to sit there. And then brought him home. And, you know, for the first few months, that's what we did. And then and then it started getting less and less and less. And then he liked the park. So it's like, you'll gotta like get out there and expose them. And it's hard because you get the looks. You get the oh my God, why is this mom bringing her screaming kids? So you just have to be confident. Just get out there. And if a mom wants to know, you explain it to her. He's sensory. These transitions are hard, but he's still got to learn how to come out, enjoy the outdoors. And you know, I'm gonna get him off of his videos for a while because back then it was like the videos.

SPEAKER_01 31:05

Yeah. As we wrap up, what message would you most like families and listeners to remember about autism and the work you're doing with autism digest, especially from your perspective as an autistic mom?

SPEAKER_02 31:18

Yeah, yeah. You know, there's a whole bunch of things. You know, just ask the person, walk up to them and ask them what's it like. I've noticed that most folks with autism don't mind telling you. Most families don't mind telling you. If you really want to know, just go ask. You know, I I've read so many lists, Tony, where people say, never say this to an autistic person or never say this to an autism mom. And you're what you're doing is you're making people afraid to talk to you.

SPEAKER_00 31:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:45

Oh my God, okay. I can't, I forget what I can't say. I'm just not gonna go say anything. Right. We need to stop putting those lists out there. Just stop that.

SPEAKER_00 31:52

Yeah. Right.

SPEAKER_02 31:54

And um, because it's taking the opposite effect. Just go talk to them, um, volunteer somewhere, get in there and figure it out. And you know, if someone's acting a little bit out of the norm, it's okay.

SPEAKER_00 32:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:05

May or may not be autism, whatever it is, it's okay. Right. Let them go.

SPEAKER_00 32:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:09

Learn with them. You know, we're all I have our little quirks and things.

SPEAKER_01 32:13

Yeah, we all do.

SPEAKER_02 32:14

And then just search out more knowledge. More, more is better.

SPEAKER_01 32:17

Yeah. Now, how do they find you?

SPEAKER_02 32:19

Um, well, I'm on the website, um, autismdigest.com.

SPEAKER_01 32:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 32:23

Yeah, all the information's there. They can contact me. Anyone's interested in um any of the research, yeah, yeah, contact me and see what's going on.

SPEAKER_01 32:31

Happy to share. This has been a fantastic conversation and incredibly informative. I really appreciate you taking the time to join us and share your perspectives.

SPEAKER_02 32:41

Yes, thank you, Tony. Thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_01 32:43

It's been my pleasure. Thanks again. Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to listen to our show today. We hope you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed bringing it to you. If you know someone who has a story to share, tell them to contact us at why notme.world. One last thing. Spread the word about why not me. Our conversations, our inspiring guest, the Joe. You are not alone in this world.