The Hidden Cost of Saying Yes: Why You Can't Have Everything w/ Chaz Roberts

You can be anything you want, but you can’t be everything at once, and most of us learn that lesson the hard way. We start by calling out the daily contradictions that quietly wreck our health, relationships, and finances: chasing wealth while dodging the work, wanting a great body while keeping every bad habit, or hoping for a strong marriage while living on an 80-hour schedule. The fix isn’t a new productivity hack. It’s learning the power of no, and treating every “yes” like a real trade with real costs.

We also talk about why this matters even more when life gets bigger. I share why I gave The Power of No to Braylon Kaley, a four-star football player headed to LSU, because the more opportunities you have, the more disciplined your choices must be. We get personal about guarding the calendar, using the “if it’s not a heck yes, it’s a no” rule, and choosing time with family and health over endless social events or nonstop business growth. A yes to one night out can be a no to the early run, the clear head, or the ballpark with your kid.

Then we bring the same mindset into the legal world with real settlement decision examples. Taking $115,000 now can mean saying no to the months of litigation required to chase $160,000 to $170,000, and pursuing the “top number” can require sacrifices like consistent treatment, responsiveness, and cutting out risky distractions, including what you post online. We close with blunt questions about what your current yeses are costing you, plus a reminder that peace often comes from rejecting distractions, not stacking more options.

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This show is co-produced by Carter Simoneaux of AcadianaCasts Network, Chaz H. Roberts of Chaz Roberts Law and Kayli Guidry Bonin of Beau The Agency, and Laith Alferahin. 

Transcript

Why We Want Conflicting Things

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Let me ask you a question. Have you ever noticed that the thing that people complain most about in life is they want two different things that don't really jive with each other. Okay. So people want to be wealthy, but they don't want to do the work. People want to have a great marriage, but they also want to work 80 hours a week. People want to make millions of dollars, but don't want to do the work for millions of dollars. People want a six-pack, but they also want to eat dessert. Life involves making tough decisions. And we're going to be talking about the power of no because ultimately you can have anything in life, but you can't have everything.

Mentoring A Teen With Big Choices

SPEAKER_00 0:41

All right. So this is fresh on my mind because I just gave a book away called The Power of No. And uh there's a young man named Braylon Kaley. I know he doesn't mind me mentioning his name. He's a four-star football player. He just signed with LSU. What a wonderful kid. Awesome dude, awesome football player, but just even better person. And he's got a bright future. And he and I became friends. He calls me Unk. I call him Neff. And I'm trying to mentor him and trying to guide him the right way. He's from my community, and I care about him because of the person that he is. And I'm trying to teach him some of the things that I've learned in 42 years. Not many 17, 18-year-olds are going to be faced with the difficult decisions and opportunities that he has. And so for his announcement, I gave him a book, The Power of No, because ultimately, the more opportunities you have in life, the more choices you're going to have. And with those choices, you're going to have to make decisions. And you're going to have to say no to a lot. And when you say no, it affects you and it affects other people. And so you have to learn how to say no. You got to learn the power of no and how to say no. And so I thought that was a very appropriate book to give him. And I would recommend checking it out. So personally, at this stage of the game, I'm 42 years old. I've been in business for about 16 years. I've met so many people and I've had so many different opportunities, business opportunities. I could always do more. I could chase more business opportunities. I could put billboards and commercials. I can pay for Google ads. I can open up satellite offices all around the state. I can set up satellite offices all around the country. I started now at this stage of the game. I know lawyers from all around the country now that I've been privileged to meet. And so different opportunities have presented themselves. There's different types of investments. Do I want to go in the stock market? Do I want to buy this building? Do I want to buy this thing? Right. So all these things. Or do I want to just save my money? Do I want to put it into my home? There's all these different opportunities. And then as I've kind of developed in the community, I have lots of friends. And I hope that doesn't sound like I'm bragging. I'm blessed. But they want to do things with me. They want to go out at night. They want to go to a social hour. They want to go to restaurants. They want to go to bar. I get wedding invitations Saturday night, Friday night. Do I want to do all those things? Or do I want to stay home? Do I want to rest up? Do I want to coach my kids sports? Do I want to be home at a reasonable hour from the office? And so the more opportunities we get, the more tempting it is. And the thing that I've learned is how to say no. Because a yes to something, a yes to something is a no to every single thing else. And so if I say yes to go hang out with my friends at a bar or a club or wherever, I'm saying no to waking up at 5 30 the next morning to run eight miles. If I say yes to I want to send commercial, I want to put commercials out and billboards, if I'm lucky, if they work the way they're supposed to, I'm going to get more cases. Well, that's saying no to leaving the office at a reasonable hour. When I say no to leaving the office at a reasonable hour, I am saying no to my wife. I am saying no to hanging out with my wife that night. I am saying no to coaching my son's baseball team. I'm saying no to hang out with Jake and play with his Legos, right? And so we we have to measure what we're giving up by saying yes. You have to be very careful with your yeses. You have to be very quick with your no's, very careful with your yeses. So to me, the metric that I use is if it's not a heck yes, it's a no. If it's not a hell yes, it's a no. Anytime I have that sinking feeling in my stomach that says, you know, I think I'm gonna go and do this, and you know, I owe it to them, I owe it to it's a bad feeling. It never works out right. And I always regret it. When I'm getting dressed, if I wasn't all in, I'm thinking, why am I going to this event on a Thursday night when I know I want to do my run and I know I have a deposition the next morning, I know I want to do whatever. I'd rather be coaching my kids. And so that's my metric. So many people are not intentional with their decision making. Look, if you don't, if you don't guard your calendar, somebody else will. Somebody will take advantage of your calendar if you are not a guardian of it. I learned that I learned about the power of no later in life. It came from wisdom, it came from mentorship. Poor Braylon's gonna have to learn that at 17, 18 because he's presented with a lot more opportunities than I ever was at 17, 18 years old. I didn't start getting presented with opportunities until I was in my 30s. And so maybe you are at a crossroads of your career where you're getting more opportunities and you have to start guarding your time.

Protecting Time For Family And Health

SPEAKER_00 6:14

Now, when I choose to be at the ballpark with my son every night, and look, Lathe, you know this. I've been at the ballpark probably 12 out of the last 13 nights I've been coaching. We had one night off and it was a Saturday night. There is nothing that I would rather be doing. It's work, I have to put my shoes on, put my uniform on. I'm coaching other kids. It's hot, it's 95 degrees. I'd rather, well, I would not rather, but it would be much easier to be sitting on the couch watching the World Cup. But I choose to do that. Am I leaving money on the table? Yes. Yesterday we had practice at three o'clock. I had to leave the office. I didn't have to. I got to. I was able to leave the office to coach. Am I leaving money on the table? Yes. Am I leaving on the on the table by not leaving money on the table by not running billboards and Google ads and growing? Yes, of course I am. It's a sacrifice because of something that means more to me. And I'm okay with that decision. Somebody would say, Chaz, you're crazy. You're in the prime earning years of your life. You're killing it. You got a good brand. You need to be scaling up more, more, more. And to that I say, yeah, but my kids, I'm only gonna be with my kids for so many years. And that's more important to me. I grew up without my father in my life. And so it really hits home to me that I want to spend as much time with my kids as possible. And I have a wonderful wife, and I enjoy spending time with her. And we've done some good things at our home, and I enjoy spending time in my home. And so I'm sacrificing jet setting and going on these other these extravagant trips because sometimes we just like to chill at home and and and play with Legos or watch a movie. You can't have everything, but you can have anything. That's what I choose, and I and I'm okay with that decision because I thought about it in great detail.

Saying No In Legal Case Decisions

SPEAKER_00 8:17

Now, how does this apply to the legal world? I use this this Jedi mindset of understanding sacrifices and a and yeses and no's. I apply it to the legal world. And I have these discussions with my clients. Right now, I have an offer in a case for $115,000. It's good money. I think the case is probably worth $160,000 to $170,000, but not today. All it's worth is $115,000 a day because that's what the other side tells me it's worth. So I have a conversation with my client and I say, look, I think the case is worth $160,000, but they're only offering $115. Do you want to take it? But here's what you need to know. In order for me to get $160,000 to $175, I have to file suit. Okay, I could crank that out tomorrow. They get 30 days minimum to answer. They usually ask for an extension. You're looking at 45 days. We got to exchange written discovery. That means you have to come into my office and provide us information and we have to put a packet together. That's another 30, 40 days. They're going to want to talk to you in a deposition. So you're going to have to give sworn testimony in our conference room. Not a big deal. Probably take about an hour and a half of your time, two hours of your time. But they're going to start uncovering things in your past, like maybe it's a criminal history, maybe it's prior accidents, maybe it's prior injuries. All right. But I'm okay with it because this is my job. I'm not going anywhere. Um I got I got nothing but time. Four months, five months, six months. Realistically, it's going to take me at least six months to get $160,000 on the table. Maybe more. I can't make any guarantees. So what do you want to do? A yes to $115 is a no to $160. A yes to $160 or $170 is a no to money right now in your hand. I cannot make that decision. You have to make that decision. And oftentimes people want the money, the bird in the hand now instead of two in the bush now. And so those conversations come up frequently. And I'll give you another sort of example. There's people that think that their case is worth uh a million dollars. Okay. That's fine. Some cases are worth a million dollars. But you have to make sacrifices. A yes to going after the top number in this case, $500,000, a million dollars, whatever, is a no to a lot of other things. It's a no to posting on social media. It's a no to getting in another car wreck. So you got to limit your travel. It's a no to missing doctor's appointments. I know little Johnny had a birthday and you stayed up all night and you can't make your appointment. You cannot do that. It's a no to everything else. It's a no to not calling your lawyer back. It's a no to living your life willy-nilly and like nothing happened. You're living your best life and going to that Florida trip and going to Costa Rica. It's a no to all those things. If you want to say yes to the top number, but maybe you don't. Maybe you want to still keep these things, and you have to understand that that number is going to be much lower. And so

The Lie That You Can Have It All

SPEAKER_00 11:55

I am constantly dealing with the interplay between yes and no. And I can have that conversation with people. A lot of people have never really sat down and really analyzed their decisions. They don't look at it as a yes and no, right? They say, well, I'm just going to go to the club tonight, downtown. Okay, but you're also saying no to XYZ. You're saying no to training. You're saying no to good health. You're saying no to not feeling hungover tomorrow. You might be saying no to getting the top number on your case. And so I'm just the point of this podcast is to start thinking about yeses and no's in every facet of your life and understand that when you say yes, you are saying no to everything else. The biggest myth, the biggest lie that we tell ourselves is that we can get it all. We can get all the benefits without paying any of the costs. I can get Chaz to work up this case and do a great job on my case, but it's not going to require anything from me. I'm not going to have to go to doctor's appointments. I'm not going to have to call him back. I'm not going to have to send him a copy of my insurance card that he's asked me for three times. I'm still going to be able to post on social media. I'm still going to post TikTok videos of me carrying my boyfriend on my back. You can't do it. I'm still going to be able to make, or let's take it outside the legal world. I'm still going to be able to look good and look fresh when I'm 40 years old, 50 years old, but I'm still going to smoke and drink and stay out late and live a reckless life. Right? Not making the sacrifice. I want all the benefits of the good without any of the sacrifices. Here's my question to you. I'm going to give you a set of questions and I want you to think about it. What are you saying yes to right now that is costing you? If you want a better marriage, what do you need to say no to? If you want to get healthy, what do you need to say no to? If you want financial freedom, what do you need to say no to? I had a great talk with a guy the other day. He says, Jazz, you know what I realize? Just because I can pay for something doesn't mean I can afford it. And it took him losing his job where he was making good money to sit back and realize that he was paying for a lot of stuff that he could not afford. He was making his monthly payments on his car a ridiculous amount of money. He was paying for the lifestyle, he was paying for travel baseball, he was paying for all those things. And then when the music stopped, when he lost a job and no uh fault of his own, just circumstances, right? Because the world is changing and people are downsizing and AI and all these other things. He realized when the music stopped, he couldn't afford it. Just because he was paying for it didn't mean that he could afford it. And then he realized, oh, dang, those things didn't make me happy. I was just doing it without even thinking about it. I was just going, hey, we need a new car. Let's go buy a new car. Hey, we're not gonna buy something affordable, we're gonna buy a nice car. Hey, everyone else is going to the travel ball tournament. Everybody else is staying in the hotel for two nights instead of commuting. I'm gonna do it. And he didn't ever assess the financial implications of that. If you want peace, here's my question: if you want peace, what do you need to remove from your life? Do you need to remove toxic people? Do you need to start saying no to family members, even that occupy all your time and want you to go hang out with them all weekend instead of working on your books, studying about your trade, getting better, getting in shape, going to the gym? I go to the gym on Saturdays and Sundays. It's lonely in there. There's not a lot of people. I run every Sunday morning. Not many people are running. I see 10, 12 people. It's a Laffead metro area is like 300,000 people. It's not that many people, right? What are you willing to say no to? Your quality of life, and the older I get, the more I realize it's less about the opportunities you accept and more about the distractions you reject. Think about that. I hope you enjoyed the episode.

Final Questions And Closing Thoughts

SPEAKER_00 16:28

Give me some feedback. I know it's a little different than our normal episodes, but this is near and dear to my heart. It's helped me tremendously be a better lawyer, a better husband, a better father, a better person, a better human, a healthier human. And I know it could help you. Stay tuned for the next episode. I appreciate you.