MIDDLE AGEish
Authentically and unapologetically keeping it real, discussing all things Middle Age (ish), when metabolism slows and confidence grows. Middle Age(ish): A time of transition from dreaming of who we will grow up to be and looking at the legacy we will leave behind. Listen to this podcast and join the hosts of Middle Age(ish) as they sit around with a glass of wine to discuss all things related to middle age with some amazing guests!
MIDDLE AGEish
Sofa Talk: Irish Dance Triumphs, Nickelodeon's Dark Side, and the Power of the Pause
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Life's a dance, and sometimes it's Irish! Lisa's kids have been leaping and jigging their way through the competitive world of Irish dancing, and it's led us all the way to the World Championships in Scotland. But beneath the tartan and trophies lies a conversation that needs to be had about the pressures these young dancers face. So, buckle up as we celebrate Ellie's awe-inspiring 10th place world ranking and take you behind the scenes of the intensity and passion of the dance community. And let's not forget Jack, who's gearing up to give his own performances everything he's got. Pam also has exciting news to share about her son Kylan and his recent dance awards!
Turning away from the stage, we sat down for a deep heart-to-heart sparked by the "Quiet on Set" documentary, unpacking the troubling tales of abuse within the walls of Nickelodeon. It's a tough topic, but one that needs the light of day, not just for the kids in the spotlight but for their parents navigating the treacherous waters of showbiz. We also tackle our collective addiction to the screen - from the grip of binge-watching to the otherworldly fascination with reality TV, like the unconventional lives in "Sister Wives." Strap in for a ride through the real-life drama that unfolds both on and off-screen.
Lastly, we're all about the nuance of the unsaid in the art of communication, and the 'power of the pause.' Ever write an email only to leave it unsent? There's healing in those unsent words and a wisdom in waiting that we're learning to embrace. We also bring the laughter with a round of "would you rather," where we debate the lesser of two quirky evils. And because a trip down memory lane is always a hoot, we reminisce about past trends that had us in stitches. Join us for this rollercoaster of emotions, from reflective to riotous, as we explore the beautiful mess that is Middle Ageish.
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Welcome to the Middle Age-ish Podcast. Authentically and unapologetically, keeping it real, Discussing all things Middle Age-ish, A time when metabolism slows and confidence grows. Join fashion and fitness entrepreneur Ashley Badowski, former Celtic woman and founder of the Lisa Kelly Voice Academy, Lisa Kelly licensed psychologist and mental health expert, Dr Pam Wright and highly sought after cosmetic injector and board certified nurse practitioner Trisha Kennedy Roman. Join your hosts on the journey of middle age-ish.
Speaker 2Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Middle Age-ish Podcast. My name is Trisha Kennedy Roman and I'm joined here today with my co-host, ashley Budosky, lisa Kelly and Dr Pam Wright, and you are joining us for our Sofa Talks, so welcome. We have been talking for a long time before this, so we had to hit record to get something on air.
Speaker 3Because we like to talk, we do we have to do like a bonus content? Yes, of like X-rated I was like that talk can never see.
Speaker 4That needs to be the burner phone.
Speaker 5That's the burner phone.
Speaker 4This is the burner phone conversation, but anyway, oh yes, but I do think that we have some really exciting things to talk about. Yeah, we do, I know I think like yeah, like some children making some big, big, big, big.
Speaker 3Yes, it's our dancer families, pam, our dancer families. It is.
Speaker 4And I think that it's super cool when moms brag on their babies. Yeah, you know.
Speaker 3And so it's been an exciting week. Well, for my kids. We are at the world championships in scotland, which is a really really long, seven days of like thousands and thousands of kids from all over the world so and they all qualify in their regional areas and then they do a nationals area. So every country has like a read. Well, most countries, bigger countries, have a regional and then a nationals and then you qualify at those for the world event. So my daughter Ellie, who has only been to maybe four world championships, she's never recalled at a world championship so there's usually like 200, 250.
Speaker 3And recall just means that they're called back Like they perform and they get asked to come back and they come back and they do, they do their two rounds and then they so what they do for girls. Because there's so many of them, they change the rules. So Ellie danced on Tuesday this week and she did her two rounds and then they recall them until Wednesday and then they started all over again. So they take a portion of them. So there was like 260 of them yesterday. So they recall them 130 of them today Okay.
Speaker 3So she goes, went back today and, honestly, her to get back to today was a huge thing. Okay, so she goes, went back today and, honestly, her to get back to today was a huge thing for her because she's never done that before. So then she did her first two rounds today and then they recall 70 or I think it was. I think what did I say? 62 maybe today. They recalled 62 today and she was one of the 62 they recalled today. So she got down to the final 62 out of the 220.
Speaker 4that were there today.
Speaker 3And then she managed to get herself 10th position.
Speaker 2In the world.
Speaker 3In the world.
Speaker 2So freaking amazing.
Speaker 3So, happy for her Unexpected, and it was like one of those moments that everybody in the house well, the remaining ones in our house we were like, oh my gosh, how did this actually happen for her?
Speaker 4Like she's worked really, really hard, but that's not always enough when it comes to Irish dancing, right, well, I mean, I think in any genre, like you know, you can want it and love it. Yes, and it still just is not.
Speaker 3it's just not in the cards and there's so many factors in Irish dance. It's been, like you know, it's been a very hard year and a half for Irish dance. So, um, it's been amazing. It was just amazing. I was so, so happy for her. Today she can't believe it herself, so that was very exciting what did she say when she went?
Speaker 5what was her?
Speaker 3well, I couldn't talk as I was teaching, so I didn't know and I was, um, my phone was going mad and she was calling me and I felt so bad and I actually, as I was saying to you earlier, I took, I got rid of my private classes yesterday because I thought I was going to be consoling her yesterday and I moved everything today because I didn't think she'd be dancing today, and then that's what.
Speaker 3I guess here we go for assuming and uh yeah, so she was. She's just in absolute disbelief herself and everybody was so nice to her. I think Irish dance has been one of those things. I didn't grow up in Irish dance, so and it's all very new to me and I have met the most amazing people and I have really met the most awful people as well.
Speaker 2It's been a real learning curve of.
Speaker 3Like you know, there's so many kids.
Speaker 4It's kind of the extreme of both. It is, and I didn't grow up in sport either, and.
Speaker 3I know from talking to all my parents you know my friends they're like oh no, sport is exactly the same it's exactly the same. So this is all. I didn't really grow up in a very competitive environment, right. I'm just not like that as a person. I'm not competitive at all, so I don't understand it. So, right, I don't even understand when passions get so high about things. I'm like it's only dance, it's fine, you know they want to kill me.
Speaker 5Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3I'm really like the person that wants both teams to win, you know there's nothing wrong with that, yeah, and I want the underdog all the time to win and she was the underdog today and I'm just so happy for her, so yeah. So then Jack dances on Friday and my husband, scott, has like 66 other kids that have been crying on the shoulder and hugging him and he's just, he's done a phenomenal job.
Speaker 2So really proud of them. Congratulations, kelly, we're so proud of you, and good luck to Jess. Well isn't?
Speaker 4it just amazing, like as parents, as moms, like we feel a hundred times whatever they're feeling.
Speaker 1So if it's joy.
Speaker 4We literally probably have to regulate our heart rate or we're going to be calling 911. And then I mean because you guys know my favorite saying is is that you're only as happy as your saddest child. So when they have those moments of just such joy, pam knows um like it's just like there's just no better day. Like there's no better day. This is true.
Speaker 3This is true, I'm with her side. You're so sad, so it's like oh you just I know it seriously.
Speaker 4Like you feel it you feel a thousand times on either side when they're happy. You just can't contain it. When things don't go their way, you take it on and it's 10 times worse. So, so hard, so hard.
Speaker 5So tell us about kind of.
Speaker 3Oh gosh.
Speaker 5Okay, so today's my son's birthday.
Speaker 2Happy birthday.
Speaker 5I know, but he's in Miami, so he does dance in Miami and he won first place this past weekend in Jump over like 100 people, so that was like amazing, so pretty, and amazing too, so great.
Speaker 5But he got to come up and him and his sister are really super close, like they're best friends, like literally are best friends, like they just have always been close, never really fought, two years apart. So he got to go to prom with her, that was great and just um. So he got to go to prom with her, that was great. And then just being, you know, so far away, it's really hard but it's so great to see him and see him be successful and see him doing better and and those kind of things. But you're right, I mean your kids, no matter how far away they are, just like yours, like when you, when you see them be successful, like you're just so happy about their success, I know like it's just such a special joy that parents should and do get to experience.
Speaker 4when you see your little precious human, you know, just do what their love is, and I think it's such a gift that we're given, you know to be, able to witness it. So it's just amazing. And again, pam, your son like his ability. Thank you. I mean and that's why I cannot wait to see Ellie's performance. I'm so excited.
Speaker 5She's so excited, I'm so excited. She is so amazing.
Speaker 4The fact that they can do what they do. That's what we were talking about, because I didn't really know anything about Irish dance until I met you, lisa, and I still am just absolutely stunned at both of y'all's kids' ability, because I just didn't know. Bodies did that.
Speaker 5I know I get more nervous. I was telling Lisa I was like I get more nervous, like they're fine. She's like I know we did this all the time, we're good, we're going to go, and I'm like I get so nervous for them that I'm like, oh my gosh, you've got control you're like oh I wish I could do that.
Speaker 3Well, I don't want to do it for them, because obviously I can't dance.
Speaker 5So there's like no hope, I don't believe that.
Speaker 3Oh no, I can't, no, no, no, really, oh yeah, no, no no, no, it'd be good okay she's only given one, but no dancing.
Speaker 4Have you heard her voice? So the angels only blessed her once. There you go, you know.
Speaker 5Thank you. So if we go to karaoke, Ashley and I will be dancing Absolutely not and Trisha and Lisa will sing, because you actually sing, but I will give you a voice too.
Speaker 3Trisha can dance as well. She can dance, I can dance too.
Speaker 4I can sing, dance, my kids things, oh my gosh well, I can dance when tito's is involved, and then I am like done, I am amazing well I'll just say I can also see the backup dancers oh, I could do that kind of like what is it like? What was that one robert plant?
Speaker 5oh yeah I can totally do that yeah, perfect I know let's bring in our hair black and like wear the black dress and like a thousand percent.
Speaker 4Um, yes, because that's when I'm, that's when I'm really but, I also think that that's when I think I can be. Lisa kelly too, I'll give you the mic, so maybe we'll see about. Oh, I mean, I know we talk about this all the time our girls weekend, but it is going to be epic.
Speaker 3You know, by the time we do it we're going to be 80.
Speaker 2Oh no, that's probably, that's probably true, yeah, by the time we do this, but we've set the time frame now. But I will tell you we'll be the most badass 80-year-olds on the planet We'll be like.
Speaker 5welcome to the old and decrepit podcast, oh my.
Speaker 4God, oh my God, Seriously, because that stuff just makes me so happy Like subject. But I got def lepper tickets for july. That's awesome. Absolutely about to lose my mind that's amazing good old joey elliott.
Speaker 5He lived in dublin yeah, he's married to an irish girl oh I don't know if they remember joey elliott ah, pour some sugar on me absolutely 1988.
Speaker 4I remember exactly where we were cruising around old Springfield, missouri, yep, but anyway, yeah, that's awesome. That's why cruising was the thing I know. We always had to cruise to Taco Bell, ours was Hardee's.
Speaker 3We were classy. We didn't cruise in Dublin because we couldn't drive. So it was like oh, we had a strip, wait what?
Speaker 2We had a strip. You always went to the strip.
Speaker 4You had to go the exact same way, you saw the same people, but it was just so crazy that's so funny, we just walk so why couldn't you drive you?
Speaker 3weren't allowed to drive until you were like 17.
Speaker 4Well, this was 16. Well, yeah, I mean, it was 16 for us. But, the traffic is so bad in the city we just walk around and walk. I mean, trisha and I were like You're in the country. We were kind of in the country?
Speaker 2Yeah, a little bit. Do you want to hear something sweet with my mom? I just made a thing about cruising the strip. Oh yeah, so when you were, was it 15 and a half. You got your permit and back then I can't remember.
Speaker 4Okay, I don't remember ever getting a permit. I just go ahead.
Speaker 2Sorry, but you had to have your parent in the car. Yes, yes, but I remember I wanted to cruise a strip but I didn't have my license. So we would make my mom she sat in the backseat of the van and we would cruise a strip and we'd see people We'd know, we'd say mom lay down lay down and she'd lay down in the backseat.
Speaker 4And so we were cruising the strip. Your mom as a mother, yes, yes, you will sacrifice anything, you will do anything to make your child happy. That's true, yeah.
Speaker 3Speaking of the very dark side, uh-oh. Yeah, very dark side of kids.
Discussion
Speaker 4All right so we pivot we totally pivot.
Speaker 3Did any of you watch Quiet on Set? No, what's that about? Oh, the documentary about Nickelodeon, oh, Okay, oh, what happened?
Speaker 4Oh, it's awful, it's awful, it's awful. I'm telling you guys, there's a culture.
Speaker 5Wait, so it's about the kids on Nickelodeon.
Speaker 3Yeah, it was about some of the kids. It's primarily about Drake Bell, who's in Drake and Josh and he does an interview on it. He was abused by a guy who A producer, wasn't it? No, he was the dialogue coach.
Speaker 4I was like sorry everybody, don't get mad at me.
Speaker 3Yeah, no, the producer was Dan Schneider, who was the guy who basically ran all those shows.
Speaker 3He was, he was, he was an actor himself and then he became a producer and he did like Victorious and like Carly and Sam and Cat and Drake and Josh and all these, all these, like you know, they all kind of a lot of back flack about him as well, which it was. It was kind of it was the first time I've kind of watched something and you know, you're like very aware I was, I was hyper aware of what was going on because of the world we kind of live in now, and when some of the child actors were talking about some of the things that they felt were over sexualized, I was kind of going because they'd show the clip then as well. And while some of it yes, there was, there was some of it though I was like yeah, but like 15 years ago or 20 years ago, nobody really was thinking like that.
Speaker 1Now, maybe they were on the set and I was.
Speaker 3It was just. It was a really hard balance, but it's a really really documentary.
Speaker 5It's very sad though very I do think, like I think that there's a culture that a lot of people don't know about. Oh yeah, so then I have parents they're like they do.
Speaker 3That was kind of. The saddest part of all of this was that drake bell's dad was on set the whole time and he had started to kick up a fuss about this particular guy, saying I don't like the way he's holding onto my kid and I don't like the way he's doing that. And eventually the abuser pulled the kid away from his dad and was like your dad's causing trouble and you're not going to be able to work. And the kid was bringing in all the money. It was just it was so the poor father, your heart to go out to the dad because he just obviously never got over it, you know. And their relationship was very strange, that they have a great relationship now. But but you can see, it was just so obvious how it all happened.
Speaker 4You could see out of the innocence that it would happen. I think that that's how predators work, oh yeah.
Speaker 2Yeah, it's surprising because when Corbin was on set, like there was always I can't remember what they were called but even when I was there, there was like a child advocate that always stayed with him Always, and so maybe they've changed rules.
Speaker 2I mean, that was so he hasn't done it for like 10 years, but like that was he would have there was somebody that was always with him I mean, I was always with him too or we had somebody we hired to be there with, called, but it was like a child advocate, like a chaperone. Yeah, but it was not from us, it was from the set Right. So that, yeah, I guess maybe they've changed rules or maybe that was just that particular production. Well, I don't know if this guy.
Speaker 3He wasn't the child advocate. That's not what he was but he kind of assumed that role and I think it might have been pre all of that, because I know like the sets have completely changed. I'm like there's so many labor laws in and everything for kids now and who they can be around and what they can be around. But yeah, it's, it was just. Oh, it's very sorry, very dark.
Speaker 2That was definitely a shift.
Speaker 4Yeah, but just talking about children. Yeah, you know just you just kind of just want all children to have a chance, a chance, yep.
Speaker 2Well, here I'll lighten it up, so you know my fun facts thing.
Speaker 4This popped up.
Speaker 2Okay. So, speaking of television and everything it says, scientists warn that binge watching your favorite show is equivalent to a drug addiction. It produces a similar high that makes you crave the next hit like a pseudo addiction. I think we're like the love is blind.
Speaker 3Oh yeah.
Speaker 2That's true.
Speaker 3I finished that, so I'm thinking sister wife again.
Speaker 2Oh is that I haven't watched that for a long time. Is it back? Oh, I gotta go back. Now I have a new thing.
Speaker 5The best show ever.
Speaker 2It is so good the URI is really missing out. I need to watch that you do.
Speaker 4I just don't. I mean, I'm sorry, Like I feel like I'm just so much more classy with my housewives.
Speaker 3Well, I would beg to do it.
Speaker 4No, no, I say that with heavy sarcasm.
Speaker 2It's just so interesting to me to see how other people because that's so out of my realm of even imagination of of being okay with that. It's just really interesting to me to see, like, how other people think and live and this season's really eyeopening. Oh, I can't wait to watch it. I had no idea it was on again.
Speaker 4But season's really eye-opening. Oh, I can't wait to watch it. I had no idea it was on again, but do you feel like it's? Like it's because? I mean, obviously we know that I love the housewives and vanderpump rules and all the ridiculousness of all of that.
Speaker 5You and I are the same one.
Speaker 4I know exactly, but I also feel like so much of it is production. I agree so do you feel like with reality?
Speaker 3yes, definitely what I like, though, about this one is it's never. This never feels like it's production. I know there's parts of it that are scripted Right right, but like so they're following. Let me see one, two, three. There's like four couples I think they're following. No, five couples they're following, but no one set of couple is the same Like one set of couple is the same, like everybody is going through.
Speaker 4So there's one guy that has three wives. Yeah, I was like hold on a second. Why don't you guys explain?
Speaker 3what this magic of tv is. It's polygamy. It's like it's you know, it's people who practice polygamy and it's it's funny. Some do it for religious reasons, some don't, some are like I think one of them is just a player and he's managed to convince these three women that this is a good idea. And the third girl that's actually come in now is like really upset because he wants another wife, he wants to take in a fourth wife. So there's them. And then there's another couple where the wife is really pushing it actually two other couples, the wife is really pushing it. And then there's this other couple from Colorado. She just breaks my heart. Do you remember them, garrick?
Speaker 2and.
Speaker 3Danielle, she just breaks my heart because I feel she's forced into this.
Speaker 2Oh, it's horrible. Yeah, she broke my heart too.
Speaker 4Yeah, and it's even worse this time, so she's forced into being one of multiple wives.
Speaker 3I think he's convinced her that this is a call from God. Are they all Mormon? No, no, none of them are Mormon.
Speaker 4Wait a second. What now? None of them are.
Speaker 2Mormon.
Speaker 4That's not, you know, that's not a thing like with the Mormon church now, no, no no, I know, not now, but like I just sometimes, because I mean, I guess, when I looked at sister wives yeah, they were like them, they were Mormon.
Speaker 2That's the break off.
Speaker 4The fundamental.
Speaker 2Yeah so.
Speaker 4I didn't mean that in a bad way, because I mean, God knows, I mean some of my very good friends, like really one of my best friends. So I didn't mean that in a bad way. But that's why I had to ask, because that's what from that other family.
Speaker 3Yeah, no two of them. Now I think actually one set of them might actually be Mormon, but the other ones that I was surprised that I didn't know are Muslim.
Speaker 2Really.
Speaker 4Oh but, I think that they do have multiple wives. Yes, I didn't know. I actually didn't know that, yeah.
Speaker 2Well, the one we're talking about, though, she's the one that she had actually divorced him, right? Yes, and it was heartbreaking, so she had to divorce him so he could get the. I know, roberta, yeah, to get the. Is it green, the green card? Yeah, the fiancé visa to come into the country and during the like, when she had divorced him, like it was so sad. She was like crying, like it broke her heart to have to divorce her husband so he could marry another wife.
Speaker 3It's just, it's bizarre and like I really do believe it's true.
Speaker 4This is the way they live, but it's just so. If it's not for religious beliefs, then what?
Speaker 3so it's.
Speaker 5One guy just says he's the king and okay, so like a power, like narcissistic kind of thing.
Speaker 3One of the guys just fascinates me because he doesn't work. Yeah, he doesn't work. The women work. The women all work. I can't. They're married to each other. Seconded, again. That's right, he's not married to any of them and didn't?
Speaker 2aren't they the ones that got like a special bed made?
Speaker 4Yes, yes, correct. Oh wait, that's the one that you guys sent me, that huge bed.
Speaker 2Yes, the picture of that.
Speaker 4All right, dr Payne is like. Hold on a second.
Speaker 5Why do these people stay? If that's not, I mean, I get it if that's his belief, but if it's not your belief, why do you stay in that situation?
Speaker 2That would she would do anything for him. I think she would do absolutely anything for this. And they have a kid.
Speaker 3They have two boys, yeah, and their families all know about it. Wait their families don't know of it. I think the reason I like it so much is it's so out of the norm for me. Like it's, like this.
Speaker 4Now that makes sense.
Speaker 2It's like people watching You're like why are you doing this? It's serious people watching.
Discussing Polygamy Dynamics and Jealousy
Speaker 3Yeah, well, some of them, some of them, I kind of get it. I go, yeah, it'd be nice to have a wife, I could do with a wife, it'd be their husband. But like another wife would be fine. You're like, okay, so today is your day to do the dishes and and actually have like a caesar salad. I do say that to scott all the time. I'm like I need a wife and he's like, okay, what now? You just need sometimes you just need another woman in your life to kind of go let's do this like or you know, women can just see quicker but would that be an assistant and like oh yeah because, yeah, I don't want an assistant, though I want Luke.
Speaker 4Okay, so we all know, ladies.
Speaker 3I don't share. No, I know you don't share.
Speaker 2No, I don't share either. It would be none of that.
Speaker 3So I could.
Speaker 2She's my wife.
Speaker 4She's the wife without benefits, so Scott gets kicked to the curb, you're like just yeah, I don't. But again I get it. Because that's why I watch the Housewives and Vanderpump and all that stuff, because my brain, like it, just is so not the world I live in and I just my brain can shut down and I just find it so fascinating. But yeah, I'm going to have to watch this.
Speaker 2You're going to have to watch. I'm gonna have to. You're gonna have to watch. You have to watch.
Speaker 4You have to be reeled in I'll watch it with you so we can figure out. All right, you know what, dr pan, this is gonna be our homework.
Speaker 3We're gonna start from episode one, and then we have to talk to a polygamist.
Speaker 2We've had several that have contacted us to be on the show I actually would really like to know the thought process and I'd like to talk to like a male and a female.
Speaker 4Yeah, because how do you handle insecurities? How do you handle jealousy? Because you can't tell me that those don't play a factor in a relationship where there's multiple people.
Speaker 5Well, the male is genius.
Speaker 2I'll say that I've worked with some and it doesn't always end up well, the male just gets like whatever he wants, because he can just have all his women. It's the women. I don't understand how they can think about how we are.
Speaker 4I mean, first of all, you've got to have. I mean I'm not the only person on the planet who does not share.
Speaker 4I don't share Right but still like the thing that's like almost instinctual, is a jealousy factor Like we can. We can tame it, we can work through it, but it's part of human nature. If you cause there's isn't there, like that person's not maybe going to love you as much as you love them, and then that person that you love so much is going to love this girl over here, that's wife number two or whatever. Like how did the? How do you work through the dynamics to keep a cohesive family together when there's multiple partners Like I? I would love to talk to someone, cause I really again, there is no criticism, whatever floats your boat, floats your boat. I just don't understand, because it goes like I don't think my nature.
Speaker 5Yeah, no, my nature definitely, so some some of them are married with children already. So it's not just like single people who are.
Speaker 3Yeah, no, I think all of them have children.
Speaker 4Do they have children together or is there children that they brought into the relationship?
Speaker 3There was a couple the couple from Atlanta they're not in it anymore because there was like a whole bunch of abuse charges and everything there but there was a couple from Atlanta, and the sister wife want to say that they picked, she had two children and she brought them in as well. So there are people out there, though, who want to be part of this. Like for the guy who wants to be the king I don't know how you managed to get one woman to sleep with him, yeah, let alone three on a regular basis. I'm like dude, like he's just yeah, like, do you alternate dates?
Speaker 4They do.
Speaker 3They alternate and it's not a threesome.
Speaker 2It's not like that. No, no, no.
Speaker 3It's not like that.
Speaker 2It's like everyone lives on a date All right.
Speaker 4So my day is Tuesday. And so they spend the entire day. They would date together.
Speaker 5Well, they're different too. Let's say it was us, though. It would be like we alternate dates, but we still talk to one another. We're friends.
Speaker 3Oh yeah, we all live together, you're sisters, your job and that's your sisters. So you all work together and you all deal with his issues and you look after. Absolutely not.
Speaker 4No, I mean I absolutely could not adore you. Three more, oh, three more, oh yeah, but like no, no, no, nope, nope.
Speaker 2But it's amazing because some of them, like the one, had a special bed built for all of them, but it's not like a sexual thing for him but not for the girls. But the other ones like one of them, I think, was actually building a bedroom like for, like that was like the suite, like he would go in with like each of the women. Then they had their own rooms too.
Speaker 5So no, yeah no, nope nope, you still know what's going on, even if you're not.
Speaker 3Oh yeah, but you're okay with that, like you're encouraging it. It's. It's the strangest it's mind-blowing it's a story, but there's definitely that one, that girl in colorado, danielle. She is just not comfortable with anything but you can tell it's so sad. She's always, always crying, she's always sad, and he's such a geek. Yes, what how?
Speaker 2are you getting this beautiful woman.
Speaker 4All right, pam, you have to watch it. We're going to do episode one and we're just going to it's people watching it really is. It's like people watching at its best, but I really would love to talk to both sides. I would too.
Speaker 3I mean we'll do that. We need to do this. I think it's fascinating.
Speaker 4I mean, it's so fascinating. I just don't know how it works.
Speaker 2That one is definitely going to be on video, because Ashley's facial expressions would be money.
Speaker 3No, I just feel like I'm going to insult somebody, and that is never my intent, I think people who live lives that are so different to like the norm which I'm not trying to insult them, but I they always know that. They always know that. So anybody who lives a little bit differently to what is seen as being normal want you to ask questions. Right? They what? They don't get insulted when you ask questions because they know that it comes from a good place.
Speaker 4Yeah, well, and I will say that you know, everyone makes the cutest little comments that they want to actually see us.
Speaker 3Yes, I have to start wearing makeup.
Speaker 2I know I was like okay tonight I'm going to finish at work, I'm going to lab coat in my drain Like just super comfy outfit.
Speaker 4But I do think it's super sweet that they would like just I don't know.
Speaker 2I want Lisa on video because I've been looking at her shirt and her fingernails and they match perfectly, I know, I just thought the car, I know yes, it's like perfectly matched.
Speaker 3I never get purple on my nails either, but I do that because I have to put in so much blue shampoo on my hair that if it stains my nails, I'm like oh no, no no this it's like perfectly, you're perfectly coordinated, oh and.
Speaker 1Easter is so you're lilac-y for like.
Speaker 3Easter. I never wear them long either.
Speaker 2It's very pretty.
Speaker 4We need to have a video just to show off your nails and shirt. I know All right, so we're going to have to start doing some videos.
Speaker 5Okay.
Speaker 4And everyone is going to see how absolutely ridiculous my facial expressions are Like. Any time, give me two seconds and you're going to know exactly what I'm thinking.
Speaker 3Yes, we need some shock. It's a good thing, though, I think.
Speaker 4Is it a good thing? Mm-hmm, I mean, oh, is it.
Speaker 3Really.
Speaker 4I just don't that, and the fact that my eyes turn gray.
Speaker 2When you're like mad, oh, mm-hmm, so she's never turned gray as we know so if they're turning gray we need to way slowly, yes, slowly.
Speaker 4Don't make eye contact they're gray.
Speaker 2Yeah, exactly, no, they're yeah, it's so crazy like they, and I can actually feel them change.
Speaker 4Oh, wow, you're like yeah, my family, my, I know, I don't, I really don't know why it like. It must be pressure, it has to be something they go a very smoky gray at least michael has a warning sign.
Speaker 2Yeah, it must take a lot, though.
Speaker 4That is true.
Speaker 2It does take a lot. Yeah, it's like a yellow light before the red light.
Speaker 4Right, exactly, yeah, my whole family knows about it. I mean even the people like my girls, like at my store and stuff like they. Yeah, watch out, I know Today's the day. Yeah, stuff Like they, they, yeah, I know Today's the day. Yeah, like it usually, like it usually happens, like Michael's seen it a couple of times, but that's because we've been together for 55,000 years. My kids have seen it a couple of times because they made bad choices. Yes, exactly, but it usually happened. Clients are usually the ones that see it first because they've mistreated someone on my team, and there's nothing that I hate more than entitled when you feel that you have the right to mistreat somebody because of their position, and that's when that's really the only time that my girls have like have ever seen it, but I can literally feel it when it's coming. It's the weirdest thing. It's so weird. Dr Pam, you're going to probably be like Ashley.
Speaker 1You and I need to sit down.
Speaker 4Yes, because you are very complicated.
Speaker 5We need a session. We need a session.
Speaker 4We need a session. We need a session. It's so nice. Yeah, we need a session. So two seconds.
Speaker 3My facial expression is exactly what I'm thinking and then, when my eyes turn gray, I can hide what I'm thinking pretty well.
Speaker 4I bet you can.
Speaker 3Yeah, I can kind of, I can kind of.
Speaker 4I bet Pam can too.
Speaker 5Oh good, I'm good to hide.
Speaker 2I feel Trisha and I are more. Oh, you have to be. I'm a good, I don't know actually, but I have to.
Speaker 4You do yeah you do no no, that is true, you know right, your job, all right. So maybe it's just me In the first two seconds. I just I can't control it. Like it, just like.
Speaker 3Well, I think you're in a unique position, though that you don't have to, that's true, you know yeah that's true, you don't have to and I, to be honest, I disagree.
Speaker 5If you have somebody in front of you who's like the worst singer ever, ever, oh, and they're like that's so hard to like.
Speaker 2Not, ashley can't help you with that one. I can't help you with that one.
Speaker 4I think with mine it's easier for me, like you said, Lisa, just because it's driven by bad behavior, and then I'm like I really don't care, You're treating someone bad.
Speaker 1Yeah, you're treating someone bad.
Speaker 4Yeah, you're treating someone bad, but you can see it instantly, cause, like I'll start, like I'll, something will happen and the girls will see me, and like there's that split, like, and then all of a sudden I'm like I'm sorry, what, what, what were you saying? Okay, what, what exactly is the issue?
Speaker 2You actually have a skill, though, like you can talk.
Speaker 4Oh, you want an exception? Right Okay, we don't do that, because that's the worst when we make exceptions. So, right Okay, all right Okay, bye-bye, bye-bye, thank you.
Speaker 2You're the only person I've known who can like say complete paragraphs with your facial expressions. It's a gift?
Speaker 4Yeah, it really is, it's a talent, I mean sometimes I mean, I know it's cool ventriloquism, but you have a whole new level, oh yes, I'm, yes, I know I think it's a good thing, but it's two seconds, but you got the whole. Like Trisha said, you got the whole dialogue Start, middle, finish, finish Encore.
Speaker 3I have to think about what I'm going to say, so like I would much rather have somebody come at me via text or something or that way. Then I can process and then I can write it in my notes.
Speaker 1And I may send it or I may never send it.
Speaker 3That's been the best therapy for me. Oh yes, has been to write emails.
Speaker 4Oh, 100% and you send your apps on.
Speaker 3I've never sent them. I've no two in the month.
Speaker 4It's like the 24-hour rule. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like I had to learn that, because I can again shocking we did that all the time. Yeah, I'll save it to a file and then the next morning, give me 24 hours and if I'm still like no, absolutely send. And there's other times I'll read I'll be like oh my gosh, what the scary thing is when I'm like okay, write the letter and bring it in, let's process it.
Speaker 4And then and they're like oh hey, I went ahead and sent it and I'm like no, no, no, no, yeah, like oh, no, yeah, my mom taught me that years ago because she knew my temper and she was always like ashley just 24 hours, write it, give it some time if you still feel that way and it has saved me not always, but it has saved me many times, because there are some I'm like absolutely still sent. Oh, I'm gonna add some stuff and there's others and I'm like for the love of God.
Speaker 5Like what was I thinking? No, ashley.
Speaker 2It's the power of the pause. Yeah, it is, and I do think that more people need that.
Speaker 4I think that's something that you learn, though, in age is the power of the pause. That's really good.
Speaker 2Stop wait think I'm still working on it Stop wait, think.
Speaker 4Well, I mean, honey, if we were perfect, we wouldn't be here any longer, our job would be done. Yeah, exactly, I know. But the power of the pause, yeah, it's not easy, though, when you're upset, or someone's hurt your child, or someone's hurt your employee or whatever I know, but it's so important because words you can't take back.
Speaker 2Yeah, yes, I'm one who, like my husband, always makes fun of me. But like I can't, I'll say it, I'll walk away. Then I come back with one more Then.
Speaker 4I walk away, then I come back with one more. I walk away and the next morning you're like and yes, let's continue from last night, right, you know, if I walk away, I'm coming back.
Speaker 2If I'm bad, I'm going to say something. I'm going to come back a few more times.
Speaker 5Oh God, I just day go to sleep, get up in the morning and the pursuers like we have to make it right before we go to bed.
Speaker 5Like that person that has to make it right before bed. So it's like the distance is like getting more annoyed and the pursuers get like I'm like, oh my gosh, you have to call a timeout and say, okay, we'll come back tomorrow at like 10 AM or 9 AM or 8 AM and like work it out. But like they could do that all night, long out, and they're not satisfied until they can sleep. But I think that that's like that's just like.
Speaker 4that's how couples are Cause, like my husband, he's not he's not a fighter and I'm one that I have to get it up and out. It doesn't have to make sense. Probably going to be crazy, but then I feel that I'll be like God. I feel really good.
Speaker 1How do you feel Like? I feel like I feel so good and.
Speaker 4Michael will look at me and be like I'm kind of wounded, you know, I know, and so, like that's one of the things that I had to work on over the years is because I was, I had to get it, that energy had to come up Like it had to. So now my person not that I mean knock on wood, sorry, tricia, I bumped on the table, um, we haven't had those kinds of fights in forever because we learned like, so if I get super upset, I call my mom, yeah, and that's like my up and out moment. So then Michael and I can talk about things because he like he doesn't like that kind of stuff and you know, like you don't want to have that where you put that other person in an uncomfortable situation, just like when he would go silent, like you said, and be know, we're just gonna pause, and I'm like, oh no, we're not yeah no, we're not.
Speaker 4This has to.
Speaker 5I got some stuff to say so that's why you have to learn to meet the middle, because right someone who's like we have to make this right before I go to bed and there's someone who's like I need to sleep, I gotta think about this and do it and like do it in the morning.
Speaker 2you have to figure out you're never gonna happy, so you have to like, say like hey, so that's like setting the alarm at like 3 am and talking about it Exactly yeah.
Speaker 5And be like good morning and like come together.
Communication and Relationships With Humor
Speaker 4Okay, so I'm ready to talk. Yeah, exactly. Now we can talk, but I do think that that's also the beauty of age. It's hard, especially when you're with your. You Like you either. Get it up and out or you have to pause. It's just finding the proper way to communicate with each other.
Speaker 5But that's so true. There's like you know you have to like set a time out and say like, hey, let's talk at this time and instead of being like, yeah, you're going to make me mad because you keep pursuing me and I'm going to make you mad because I'm about to go to sleep.
Speaker 4Yeah, it's so bad, I know, I just fell asleep. Michael did that one time and I literally sleep without like resolving it.
Speaker 1Yeah, I can. Oh my God, michael did that. I mean seriously.
Speaker 4no, this would have been in our thirties. He did that and I literally stayed up all night going she was almost the last date line.
Speaker 2That's not good.
Speaker 4I literally remembered, not good. I literally remember that forever and he did and like, and he was, god bless him. I mean he was coaching three sports and so. But you know, in that moment you don't realize that and when you're that personality like I am, you're just and he just fell asleep and I, I seriously the entire night I I can't believe he didn't wake up Cause I was like, but think about it If he was that exhausted.
Speaker 5Having that conversation at that time would have been disaster anyway, because he would have been like angry and upset and, like you know, like I'm frustrated.
Speaker 4He would have popped off, which would happen if you push too hard, but I think that that's the beauty. Again, it goes back to like that's like when you really pause and you learn about each other because not, I mean partners are not going to be the same Like that's what draws you to it. They, you draw, you're drawn to what your opposite is, and a lot of at least for Michael and I and which is a benefit and a bonus, and it's amazing.
Speaker 5So the issue I would say in my profession, in psychology, I would say like, okay, it's good to take the pause, but then find a time to come back and actually talk to us.
Speaker 4No, no, absolutely. You can't ignore it.
Speaker 5So if you pause and you just ignore it like oh, we'll just pretend that didn't happen, sweet no.
Speaker 4You know keep doing that, but it's like you have to resolve whatever was going on, girl, I'm not good at ignoring anything. You could ignore it, just sweeping it under the rug that's not my forte.
Speaker 2I'm working on some stuff, though let's talk about a serious subject really quick alright, tricia, what you got for us would you rather, oh gosh, have smelly feet or bad breath. Smelly feet or bad breath, oh.
Speaker 5Smelly feet.
Speaker 2Smelly feet. Well, it was smelly cat. Never mind I had the song stuck out of my head, but that's smelly cat.
Speaker 4I would have to say yeah, because I guess smelly feet. Then you just only-.
Speaker 5You can hide that.
Speaker 4Yeah, you can hide it.
Speaker 3Yeah you, it can't really hide smelly breath.
Speaker 5Yeah.
Speaker 2I'm curious about Ashley's answer for this one. Oh gosh, Would you rather run into an alien or Bigfoot?
Speaker 4Oh, both, it's like a dream. Okay, with the way that this world is going right now, I still and I say this all the time I'm going to come home one day and an alien and Bigfoot are going to be sitting on my back porch and I will be thrilled. But I will tell you this I don't think aliens, I think they're going to bypass the earth for a while, because we're kind of a hot mess.
Speaker 3I'm just kind of hoping one of them abducts me soon and I get a bit of rest. You're like, I don't care, I'm here, I'm ready, just take me. Oh my God.
Speaker 4So I want to meet both of them yeah.
Speaker 3All, All right, Trisha what about you?
Speaker 2I think I'd rather see an alien.
Speaker 3Like I think of ET. Bigfoot scares me. I want an ET, not a Bigfoot. I don't really care Either one.
Speaker 5Yeah, doesn't really bother me, I wouldn't, but either yeah.
Speaker 2I mean, the whole Bigfoot thing is an American kind of thing. I don't really.
Nostalgic Chat About Past Trends
Speaker 4Yeah they have.
Speaker 3Bigfoot.
Speaker 2We I mean oh, the Loch.
Speaker 4Ness.
Speaker 5Monster yes, the Loch Ness Monster the Loch Ness.
Speaker 4Monster. Okay, so what would you want to do if it was an alien Bigfoot or Loch Ness Monster?
Speaker 3Nellie, I'd probably go with the alien.
Speaker 5I feel, like more Well, some way to communicate. But I kind of feel like the other two probably would.
Speaker 4I mean, if it's an alien, they've been here. I mean, Big can hardly go to the moon, for goodness sakes, so if they can like, come to another planet A free spaceship ride. I mean seriously yeah.
Speaker 3What's Bigfoot going to do? Can you take me to the woods? Can you take me to the moon? Please Take me to the moon.
Speaker 4Please take me away for a little while until things kind of calm down, the Loch Ness would be like I can take you to the bottom into the water.
Speaker 5No, we got that All agreed on the alien. Okay, aliens, Take us away. All right, let's see.
Speaker 4Okay, what's?
Speaker 2the next one. All right, let's see. Okay, would you rather be stuck as a character in Friends or in Breaking Bad?
Speaker 4Friends, let's see, friends, I've never even saw.
Speaker 3Breaking Bad? What? Okay, uh-oh, what do you mean? You have not seen Breaking Bad? I have not.
Speaker 5Oh, I got the hang of it, this is why she did not answer.
Speaker 3Oh my God, you have spent all these years on Real Housewives and you have not watched Walter White. I don't even know who that is. You need to watch Breaking Bad. Oh yeah, well, what is it? Okay, all right. Oh my God, it's about a teacher who becomes a meth maker. Oh Lord, it's amazing, amazing.
Speaker 4I was just like. This is why I love walks. Okay, all right. Okay, well, he and Faith are nearly finished.
Speaker 3Keen's watched it about three times.
Speaker 4Okay, all right, all right, so my homework is Sister Wives, I'm Breaking.
Speaker 3Bad. Okay, got it. You might need sister wives to calm down the Breaking Bad. Breaking Bad's such a good show Okay.
Speaker 4All right, got it All right. Okay, trisha, what's the next one?
Speaker 2Okay. Would you rather make a movie about your most embarrassing moment or publish your diary?
Speaker 4Oh Well, I don't have a diary, I don't either, but I have a lot of embarrassing moments I do too. I feel like I'm the reason and I am the proof that God has a sense of humor. Yeah, because my embarrassing moments anytime I feel like I got it going, oh yeah. You're humbled very quickly. I am so humbled and I can just almost hear laughter. Yeah, because I don't. No, I don't write anything down.
Speaker 3I don't write anything down. No, thank you.
Speaker 4But I feel like my embarrassing moments are already published because people see them.
Speaker 2Mine thank God are not.
Speaker 4Oh, there's that Okay.
Speaker 2There's that, there's that. Oh, pam, what about you? You're being quiet over there. I know Probably an embarrassing moment, I know.
Speaker 5Okay, I was thinking about our post from this week for Middle Ages. On Facebook and somebody was saying about like we didn't have, like all this evidence of us doing whatever.
Speaker 4Thank you, baby Jesus.
Speaker 5But somebody said like we got into a conversation about my brother and I'm like my brother would like turn me in for anything Like he might as well have been the phone that was in my room.
Speaker 2He was like your family, narc.
Speaker 5And I'll never forget one time I was sneaking out of the house and it was me and my friend and we got out the window and we were walking and walking down the driveway and suddenly every light in the house goes on. And we're waiting for, like, the guys to pick us up within the driveway right, and it's like all the lights going on the house, I'm like, oh my god, your brother, my brother, he's like 13 months older than me. So I was like, oh gosh, what's going on? So we go back to the house and so like later I'm asking him cause. I was like, oh my gosh, why, like what did you tell them? Why'd you turn me in? He's like Pam, seriously, no one sprays their hair at like 2am. Oh, I was like, oh, good point. So I was like even back then, like he had the sleuth, like how do you like know?
Speaker 4what's going?
Speaker 5on, Even though people didn't know, but it's true. Back then there were still signs. There was only the older brother who was going to turn you in.
Speaker 4Thank you, baby Jesus. I didn't have an older brother, I was the older sister. I was always turning my younger brother in.
Speaker 2I was always telling on him.
Speaker 4I was the oldest, and my sister is so much younger than I am. I was 16. She was basically 10. So like it was completely separated, I mean, oh my God, now I didn't have any older, see, and I never did anything wrong.
Speaker 5Like literally, the one time I sneak out and I'm like really, I like look back at the house, like really the lights are on, why and he was like you're so stupid, no one sprays their hair at 2am. And I'm like like you're like you're so stupid, good point. And back then you had to like oh, honey, the aquanet, it was not like today. You'd be like, ah, put on a hat and go like it was like.
Speaker 4No, I mean, there's these reels now of like some kid going around in the 80s like with a video camera and you can see like walking down the hallways of high schools and like it was like legit was it aquanet? Oh, my gosh, gosh, I like again. You know how I hate social media, but these reels and whoever this person is, it is literally his video camera from the 80s, Like he'll show 88, 89.
Speaker 3Oh my goodness.
Speaker 4And it's it's the most magical thing ever, because we were so obnoxious with our hair and our makeup and our fashion.
Speaker 5Oh my gosh. But now it's like a full circle, obviously like fashion.
Speaker 4When.
Speaker 5I see all these girls on bell bottoms. I'm like wait what I know.
Speaker 4You know what that means. That means fluorescence.
Speaker 5Coming back in about five years, you're not wrong.
Speaker 4I know 80s.
Speaker 2I like warmers.
Speaker 3there was a few, you know prom dresses, but I did look at go girl you're gonna regret that in about five years oh, you're not wrong. I thought the same thing, why it was just a really unusual style of like that I haven't seen anywhere. So obviously they've all seen, because they were all very similar. It's very um. It was just very strange A lot of metallics that I was like, like metallics, but there was a lot of like.
Speaker 4Like sequins metallics.
Speaker 5No Bo.
Speaker 4Peep kind of. Like tablecloth-y looking Like Laura Ashley, do you remember?
Speaker 5Laura Ashley.
Speaker 3Yes, I love Laura Ashley Like ruffles that were just like yeah and like yeah, very strange very hot, it was different.
Speaker 5Yeah, like what?
Speaker 3but it was the first time I've ever looked at dresses and gone. Oh, you're gonna regret this.
Speaker 4I can see this yeah, it's like I still love my prom dress. What were you thinking?
Speaker 5oh yeah, but we had, do you remember, like homecoming, you had like the like the layers of like tulle or whatever it is like, yeah and the like homecoming, you had to like the like the layers of like tool or whatever it is Like you know, and the like Scarlett O'Hara, like the little like.
Speaker 4Yeah, that would have been early, like the early 80s, mid 80s Cause.
Speaker 5I Dresses, yes, you had like, like where you sit on it and we're like yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3So we like I just remember mine was strapless, it was black sequins and it had like a little like, a little bit of like.
Speaker 4Just Sorry, she's probably don't have the camera on you. This is why, right here, ladies and gentlemen, we do not have the camera on me, because I've just shown her some gowns. And they're so. They are just precious.
Speaker 3That is very interesting. There's going to be a lot of that's like what was I thinking?
Speaker 2Do you know what was really sad? Speaking of, like old styles, scott and I were in Marietta this past weekend with Cal for baseball and we were going through a oh my gosh, I just totally blanked out Antique store. We went through an antique store, oh yeah, and we were walking through, and I realized as we walked through that all we talked about was oh, you remember this, do you remember this? And so we're freaking old because everything in the antique store we remembered I was like oh, my God, we just went through an antique store.
Speaker 2That's crazy. So yes, we're getting old.
Speaker 5Just know your age Getting old, so sad.
Speaker 3Yes, okay, so my last.
Speaker 2would you rather I saw it in there. Okay, got it. Would you rather spend the rest of your life as a 20-year-old or a 40-year-old, 20., 40. I would say 40. Yeah, I've got to have my babies.
Speaker 4Well, and I feel like when, like, as I've gotten older, like I still feel like I'm I mean I would say now at 52, I'm like I'm a good 35.
Speaker 2But wasn't it great, though, when you were 20, like you were so careful, like you had no worries, and that's true, no worries 40.
Speaker 4But 40 for me was like it started to be again carefree, but I had the knowledge.
Speaker 5That's true.
Speaker 4So like my kids were older and so, yeah, like that was the turn for us, is that it started that the kids were getting older? That was the turn for us. Is that it started that the kids were getting older? Um and yeah, so we started back kind of being a little bit more carefree and doing this stuff, but we had the knowledge of making favorite decade of all time.
Speaker 3Really what?
Speaker 4The twenties, my forties, oh, I mean I seriously, but I honestly think I mean you guys are are a couple of years away, but fifties is even better.
Speaker 5Yes, oh my God, the fifties are even better. I would say twenties, with knowledge.
Speaker 4Yeah, I don't want to be 20, but that's forties Like, but that was like my forties and then honestly then, like, just the icing on the cupcake at 50 is even a better version of 40.
Speaker 2Well, cheers to living our best life in our middle ages.
Speaker 4We covered a lot of stuff. Oh, and cheers to your babies.
Speaker 2Oh yes, Cheers to babies.
Speaker 1Thank you for joining the ladies of the Middle Agish Podcast as they journey through the ups and downs of this not young but definitely not old season of life. To hear past episodes or make suggestions for future episodes, visit wwwmiddleagishcom. That's wwwmiddleageishcom. You can follow along on social media at Middle Age-ish. Also, if you have a moment, to leave a review, rate and subscribe. That helps others find the show and we greatly appreciate it. Once again, thank you so much for joining us and we'll catch you in the next episode of the Middle Age-ish Podcast.
