ifitbeyourwill S06E03 • Field Medic

Kevin Patrick Sullivan, the creative force behind Field Medic, invites us into the intimate world of his songwriting process in this revealing conversation about musical authenticity, vulnerability, and the realities of life as a touring musician. From his early days performing solo with just a boombox playing cassette drum beats to his current evolution as an artist, Sullivan offers a refreshingly honest look at his creative journey.

"Touring is a 24-hour job where you only work for one hour," Sullivan reflects, capturing the strange dichotomy of performing life – moments of intense connection with audiences followed by the disorienting reality of being "somewhere random" immediately after. This vulnerability extends throughout his music, where he's discovered that the lyrics making him most uncomfortable often resonate most deeply with listeners.

What makes Sullivan's approach particularly fascinating is his disciplined creative routine combined with moments of pure inspiration. He practices what he calls "full-time freestyle," sometimes capturing songs in single, inspired moments, while other times meticulously crafting them over time. "I work on music or songwriting for at least an hour every day, even when I don't want to," he shares, explaining his prolific output with a new album nearly every year.

His latest record, "Surrender Instead," continues his tradition of heart-on-sleeve songwriting while navigating the tension between artistic authenticity and desire for recognition. As Sullivan prepares for his upcoming tour and already begins writing his next project, his philosophy remains steadfast: focus on the feeling rather than technical perfection, stay true to yourself, and don't get too caught up in the small stuff. For anyone who values authentic creative expression or simply enjoys thoughtful, vulnerable songwriting, Field Medic's music offers a welcome reminder that sometimes the most powerful art comes from sharing our most uncomfortable truths.

Chapters

• 0:24 Meet Field Medic
• 3:54 Life on Tour
• 8:45 Evolution of Songwriting Style
• 13:39 The Creative Process Revealed
• 19:32 New Album Reception
• 24:20 Future Projects and Reflections

Transcript

Field Medic: 0:24

I was a kid with a knack for tricks and illusions. With sleight of hand, I fooled them all. I would practice.

colleyc: 0:38

My Welcome to another episode of If it Be your Will podcast. We're trudging along here in season six. We've only had two episodes out so far. I wasn't expected to start until the end of September, but I've had so many amazing artists that are heading out on the road and I want to get them before they head out, and this is no exception. I'm reaching over to the west coast of the United States with Field Medic. I have Kevin Patrick Sullivan, who is Field Medic, coming and joining me. Field Medic very much of a DIY indie folk, maybe a little freak folky when it started, just great music. And we're going to talk all about Kevin's life, career and future. And we'll do that in the short amount of time at 25 minutes. So, kevin, thank you so much for hopping on here and joining us today for a chat about FieldMedic.

Field Medic: 1:32

Of course. Thank you for having me, thanks for making the time before I depart out or before I get deployed. That's what me and my friends say when we go on tour.

colleyc: 1:40

And Kevin, is this a full band you're going out on tour with?

Field Medic: 1:43

so this tour is actually interesting because I I used to do a lot of tours, or all my touring before I did the grow your hair long album was just me in a boom box, and so the boom box was like I had cassettes with drum beats on them, so those were essentially like my tracks, yep. And then I did a bunch of several tours with a drummer and a bassist, and so this tour we only were like they booked me for solo because of the footprint on the stage, but the rooms are so big that I was like, can I bring one extra guy? So it's me and a drummer and for the first time we're running tracks, so like secret bass tracks or like secret tracks, so cool. So it's. It's hopefully gonna have the full band sound, because there's a lot of songs from the new record that have a lot of keys and stuff. Right, it's definitely new territory for me, which I was originally intimidated by, but the more we practice I feel actually like really excited to see what we can do as a two-.

colleyc: 2:42

Yeah, absolutely. And how long is this tour going? Are you going well, into November, december?

Field Medic: 2:47

Yeah, it's six weeks, so it's October 5th until I think November 21st or something, is very long.

colleyc: 2:54

Wow, and is that a show like every other day, or like?

Field Medic: 2:58

I think it's like I think the most amount of shows in a row is maybe three. So's actually not. There's not too many crazy drives and I, I, you know I don't remember the exact routing, but it is actually pretty chill. And there's like a fair amount of off days, which is a good and bad at the same time, because on the off days we're not making money, so we're essentially losing money with the lodging and stuff. But I am sensitive, so I do I. Sometimes, if we do four or five shows in a row, I'm like, bruh, I need to not do a show today. So I, I like it when tours have a lot of off days.

colleyc: 3:35

Yeah, that's cool, that's cool. I mean, your songs are so prolific in the way that you.

colleyc: 3:41

You bury your heart on your sleeve oftentimes and one of the touring songs that I just absolutely love. One of my favorite of yours came out with the fade into the dawn used to be romantic, yeah, I mean, the first line off of that is just like priceless. I just love that whole descriptor of being on the road. It's just this drudgery, almost at times of the machine just not stopping and you know you can have emotions that they're put on the sideline because you must get up there and do the same. You know, not the same thing, but you got to get up and perform, which I, I, I admire you for it, cause it's it sounds like like fun, but a lot of work as well.

Field Medic: 4:24

It's not an easy process yeah, I say it's a 24-hour job where you only work for one hour. So it is. It's obviously I'm so grateful for the opportunity to have music as a career, but touring can be so weird because you play a set and you say it's a, you know, the is amazing, everybody's smiling and stuff, and then you just walk backstage and then you're just somewhere random and I don't know. I've been doing it for so long that it feels odd, which is like I feel like Tricks and Illusions is almost like a sequel to Fade Into a. It used to be a romantic because, like speaking, speaking the feeling of being back in the van, yeah, but yeah, I don't know it's. It's like a love-hate relationship. I think it's a wonderful thing to do but, as I said, I'm kind of sensitive and yeah, I love. I just love chilling at home and recording.

colleyc: 5:17

Yeah yeah, I've heard. I've heard that about you, kevin, as I've been diving a bit deeper into your, your career as a musician and you know Tricks and Illusions, the song itself, I mean. I usually ask at the beginning of these podcasts tell me a little bit about the beginning phases, shit, listen to Tricks and Illusions. It's like your journey, so far, it seems in a song you know five and a half minute song.

colleyc: 5:46

Is that accurate to say that a lot of your songs are, you know, journalistic in their way and the way you approach?

Field Medic: 5:54

them. Yeah, I think that that song specifically is like almost a prologue of just everything that happened leading up to the rest of the album, and I'd say that. So my old band used to be called Rin Tin Tiger and I used to be really obsessed with Bob Dylan, and I still love Bob Dylan, but at that time in my life all of my lyrics were extremely cryptic. I would try to encrypt every single feeling I was having to be this sort of incomprehensible word salad and I think that just over the years I've just become more and more blunt, and I think part of that is because when I first started touring solo, I would be opening for these bands and I had some songs that were a little bit blunt while also being vulgar.

Field Medic: 6:47

I have this song called otl where I talk about like railing pills. Or I have a song called glitter where I talk about like doing cocaine with strippers, which was kind of like like a joke ish feeling for me. But when I would play those songs as the solo opener, everybody would react the crowd that they didn't know me and obviously they weren't reacting to the deep, intricate, poetic, whatever stories I was telling. So I feel like, based on what I experienced as a performer, I started injecting a little bit more of that reality into the lyrics.

colleyc: 7:23

Yeah.

Field Medic: 7:24

And then, yeah, and I think I also I used to be really inspired by this and I still am. But Nick Drake has this lyric where he says if songs were lines in a conversation, the situation would be fine. And I used to have a really hard time actually talking about what I was dealing with or struggling with with people in my life, and I think that as I've gotten older, it's much easier for me to communicate how I really feel. And then somehow that is in the songs as well, where I just start saying exactly what's going on.

colleyc: 7:56

Right, which I mean? I've talked to many artists, and I mean the bravery of musicians. I've talked to many artists and I mean the bravery of musicians because you are revealing a ton of stuff about yourself. Maybe you know, explicitly or inadvertently. How do you get to that, Kevin? How do you like when you were first starting to write these songs, Like I think, like Power of Love was maybe something that you were alluding to, or is a little funner, a little more beatboxy, like in your beginning phases of starting how do you slowly get to opening your heart up so much and revealing so much of yourself in these songs that you create?

Field Medic: 8:36

I think that so early on in the Field Medic experience. So the first EP, crush Pennies, is very much the same kind of writing that I was talking about with my old band, because those songs were actually songs I wrote for the band. That just didn't make it. And then I started doing what is called full-time freestyle, where I would just record, I would make up songs on the spot. I put out this ep called Fuck you, Grim Reaper, which is just like live to a weird little like tabletop cassette recorder and exploring more subconscious songwriting.

Field Medic: 9:13

And around that same time is when Sun Kil Moon put out that record Benji, he was just like literally saying the most literal stuff ever, and me and all my friends were like dude, this is crazy, I didn't know.

Field Medic: 9:27

Just talk about the most niche, random stuff and somehow it still hits. And I think that I think the short answer is just that the more I started to reveal in my songs, I would have people come up to me or send me a message online and be like dude. It really hit when you said insert lyric. That is probably the lyric that I'm the most vulnerable about, the thing that I maybe don't want to share, and I think that when I go to that place that feels a little bit uncomfortable. It tends to have the best return for the listener, assuming that the listener feels that way. But there has also been people that are like bro, like why are you saying that? But you know that's. I think that in my art I like to be creatively brave. I'm not very like, I'm not like a snowboard or like action. I'm not like a, like a extreme person in my real life, but think that my creativity I like to sort of push the limits and do something that feels a little risky in the way that I write totally.

colleyc: 10:31

I mean, I think your creativity is off the hook. I mean you're putting stuff out every year, kevin, like full records of amazing songs every year consistently now for a while it's your process, Like how do you know when you're onto something with a song, and can you also fill in a little of the gaps, of what it is that that it starts as now I've? I've listened to you a couple of times and you say that you usually have your your phone recorder on and you're walking and you'll, and you've actually shared some of those really cool like the the big hit, let me get it right. Simply obsessed, like the big hit, let me get it right.

colleyc: 11:07

Simply Obsessed. Right, you were talking the song, the story of the song, right Videos. Check all those out people. Kevin does a couple of those and they're amazing. Can you kind of like give us a little insight into how your songs come to be and when you know that you're onto something or maybe not?

Field Medic: 11:24

Yeah, that's a good question. I think, generally speaking, I am thinking about writing all the time, so I'm not literally writing all the time, but I'm always considering songs and considering poems and stuff obsession of mine earlier on in the field medic chronology and so songs there's. There's two modes. Sometimes I just am moved by something, I'm inspired in a moment and I happen to be with a guitar and I'm just singing and it's all coming out. So, for example, like tricks and illusions, I was thinking about doing a story of the song for that, but I I don't even really remember when I wrote it. I think I was strumming these chords and just honestly I was really in that feeling and I just sort of it just came off the top of my head and I just was just full time freestyling it, like that technique. And then there's other songs, like simply obsessed, where I was thinking like I want to write this song. That's really positive and I want to express this feeling. And so I'm walking around and I'm trying out different melodies and sort of doing lyrics in my head and then you know, making that first little voice note and with that that song, then I'm kind of sitting there and very much sort of crafting it.

Field Medic: 12:58

I work on music or songwriting for at least an hour every day, even when I don't want to. So I really just try to keep the tool sharp because I like doing it, it and it makes me feel good to do so. There's some level of freestyle, and then there's a like a lot of sort of crafting and and intentional work. And then also, I think the most important thing for me is that I just I'm not precious about it, which is why why I released I released almost everything I write and record, because I I think I appreciate them all for what they are, and so I just I think it's I just do it. I just do it every day when I don't feel like it.

colleyc: 13:40

I mean, it's like all things that we become good at, right Is practice and repetition and like that's what makes the home run hitter, a home run hitter, right or whatever. Is that practice? And I loved what you said too, on on the intro to this record, where you said any song that's true is a good song in your mind, right, like, and I guess my question is what is true to you, what is? Could you isolate that word and and flush it out a bit for us, like what does that mean, kevin, when a song is true to you? So I'd say true is.

Field Medic: 14:20

It kind of goes back to what I was saying when there's maybe that one lyric that I feel vulnerable about sharing, like there's a lot of that song.

Field Medic: 14:29

So the first song, tricks and illusions, and the last song, I think let me use journey to the center of nothing as a good example, because that song sort of goes into the headspace of potentially the most jaded somebody could be in in doing music for a long time and I got to the point where I say like you, you, you want to quit but you can't because you're like desperate for some a and r to like hit you up.

Field Medic: 14:58

And so it's kind of like ironic where what I'm saying is like this is all for nothing.

Field Medic: 15:06

It feels like in the most jaded headspace, but I can't deny that for some reason my ego like wants some guy to some random guy to send me an email who in the previous verse I called some like corporate fuck, who's never written a song like there's just a lot of irony going on there and I just want to like I almost took out both the corporate fuck lyric and the A&R lyric but I was like but this is, these are both true at the same time and I feel honestly like slightly embarrassed to share that, and I think that that is like the truth right there, because I think it's possible to feel like in my right state of mind, like I'm an independent artist, in my right state of mind, like I'm an independent artist, I don't care what Spotify executives think about my music and I don't care if Columbia Records is listening, but somewhere deep inside I want someone to send me an email and be like bro, like you're sick.

Field Medic: 15:59

So that would be the truth is sort of exposing the vulnerable and or embarrassing side of the story as well as the secure and like mature side of the story interesting, interesting, and I mean often your songs they have.

colleyc: 16:15

They can deal with this idea of being successful versus authenticity, where who doesn't want you know to be validated in their art and what they're doing and I mean we live in a in a capitalist society, so it's usually money that speaks right, tells us the validation or not. What's your struggle with that of you know you get reviews, you know your record goes through its cycle. Do those, does outside influence influence how you're going to craft the next one, the next record, or do you maintain the authentic, the authenticity that, if it happens, great, but I'm not going to change my style and start, like you know, doing these things. That's outside of who I am, just so that I can have more of a sense of success, whatever that might be be. How does that struggle go between? How do you manage that struggle from wanting success to also keeping your authenticity as an artist itself?

Field Medic: 17:16

I think that I always I wouldn't let the reviews change the way that I write. I definitely I'm sort of just addicted to or I have this compulsion to keep it, to keep it 100, as they might say. And so the one place we're pressed, though I think with this record, because it's new, is something is interesting, and what I appreciate about music criticism is if you see a through line through the reviews, whether they're like middling or they're praising it or whatever. I think something with this album. I didn't really.

Field Medic: 17:52

People kept saying it's meta and I didn't understand that because, as you know, if you said you've been deep diving, I've been.

Field Medic: 17:58

I always just talk about what's going on, and it just so happened that what I was thinking about a lot in the process of making this album was being a musician and being in the music industry, and so it wasn't until I saw some of those reviews as well, as I started promoting the songs where I'm like making a TikTok video, playing a song that's like actually about like making a TikTok somewhere deep inside inside, and so layers the layers.

Field Medic: 18:29

So I think it's not going to change the way that I approach the next record, but it is interesting to analyze it from a more objective point of view and and see how people could think that it is meta. But yeah, that doesn't really change how I write. It's just I, I appreciate reading it like regardless of. Obviously, I want every review to be like this is the best thing I've ever heard, but I, I like I appreciate when people dedicate, you know, thousands of words to their analysis of it and it helps me just sort of see the album more objectively and and I appreciate that. So, right, right, I feel like it'll never change how I write.

colleyc: 19:09

Right, cool, that's awesome. I love that answer and as you've had this record out now for a little bit, I mean it just got released, I think over the summer, right, kevin?

Field Medic: 19:20

Yeah, it was August 8th, so it's about a month and a week old, right.

colleyc: 19:26

And what's your feeling of the reception of it? Are people getting? I guess let me rewind that question Are people getting the record the way you intended them to get it, or are you surprised about how people are receiving this latest record?

Field Medic: 20:02

Like you know, these songs are really resonating.

Field Medic: 20:03

For this reason, specifically the first and last song, which are the most like I'm trapped in the game style songs.

Field Medic: 20:05

But then you know, there's other people that are not musicians, that are just enjoying it as a whole and I think that people are receiving it the way it is.

Field Medic: 20:10

I definitely have a little bit of post-release confusion right now because it's weird when we put so much energy and time into this one thing and, you know, for the first couple weeks it's like whoa new album and, like you know, press is coming out and I feel like now it's no longer new and I just have to wait and I and I'm happy to wait and I think that a lot of times music can take months or years to sort of get into the ears of people. Like, even some of my favorite artists put out an album and I might not find the time to listen to it for several months. And so I think that the first wave has been very successful and people have been enjoying it and I feel good about that. And now I'm just kind of hunkering down and and in the meantime I'm to distract myself from the post-release confusion I'm just writing more songs and thinking about the next one right, right, and is that really the cycle like it?

colleyc: 21:12

you know it, the out the record cycle wears out after a while, like there's such a build-up to it, right, all the time and energy and effort you put into it, and then it's like, okay, thanks, thanks, field medic, all right on to. You know, like it kind of feels at times like all of that energy and will and dissipate so quickly is is going on the road. Help solidify a little bit. Like you must be looking forward to actually going and seeing people sing along to these songs when you're playing them live, like I miss.

Field Medic: 21:43

That must be validating that people are listening to it and and are remembering what you're saying in your lyrics when you're out on the road touring yeah, the the tour piece of it really does validate the experience, and you get to, yeah, see the people sing and also just talk to people face to face that are excited about the new music and listening to it, and because it's like I always try to I mean, I say this to my friends, but I say it to myself too.

Field Medic: 22:08

Where you know my favorite music, I'm not posting it and tagging the artist on Instagram every single day, I'm just listening to it, and so I was like you know, I think, in like the attention economy that we live in with social media, it's easy to feel like, oh my God, like no one's commenting on my post, like no one's listening, but people just listen. They just listen Like they're just enjoying the music for what it is. So it's nice to see the people and, yeah, hear them sing and just get to play the songs, and so, yeah, my answer is yes, that's great, I love your answers, kevin, and like what is next?

colleyc: 22:49

Like what you know, you're saying you're writing songs again. Like are you going to have like a lot of songs that start to come out as you're touring as well, because, like you said, it's 24 hours and you work for one? Yeah, are you like is on the road a good time for you to actually start penning new songs and like coming up with new ideas?

Field Medic: 23:08

yeah, the road is good for coming up with new songs, because in my day-to-day life I'm very much a house elf. I just chill and I just like it that way. And on the road it's nice because I'm seeing different stuff. It really informs the writing. I start to have new images to fit into my poems or whatever. And where I'm going next is that so my early music.

Field Medic: 23:36

I record all of it live, all the way up until Grow your Hair Long if you want to see something you can change.

Field Medic: 23:42

And then from that point on, for that record and Light has Gone To and Dope Girl Chronicles, it was all multi-tracked and I was doing that because I was interested in trying something new. I felt like I had taken the live and the lo-fi as far as I could, and with this album I did I think three of the songs live and I liked how that felt. So what I'm aiming to do with the next record is focus on songs that I can record live and that also stand alone, just with guitar and voice, because that was sort of my philosophy in the beginning and as I got interested in multi-tracking I started just not thinking about that as much and just more. So exploring production and so acoustic, you know, guitar and voice live tracked and then using the multi tracking skills I have to very tastefully embellish those songs a little bit, but the focus is kind of more just fully acoustic folk, sort of OG, but but reloaded.

colleyc: 24:55

I love it, I love it, I love it. And do you hope, once the tour, once you're off the tour, once you've done your, your due diligence with the record and the people have heard it, do you hop right back into? Okay, here we go, let's start the machine up again. Let's start working towards that next lp that I mean. You've had lps come out pretty much every year. I mean, can we anticipate something in 2026 as well?

Field Medic: 25:20

Oh, for sure I have this fantasy of releasing something this winter. I don't think I will, but that is just something I like to take shelter in when I am suffering from post-release confusion. I'm just like, well, maybe I'll just release some weird like super lo-fi, scary EP, release it for my own thrill. But I think that the most likely thing would be some sort of deluxe record with like three or four new songs on Surrender, instead 2.0, and then another album next fall, Because I'm already a few tracks into whatever this new one is and as soon as I have everything written I'm going to record it. And because of how I'm intending to approach it with the live recording, it didn't take very long.

colleyc: 26:09

so yeah, because you have a three take method, right exactly. You like to record fast yeah, I get it down.

Field Medic: 26:17

I think that it's all about just the feeling of the take, more so than the perfection of it. And so, yeah, I just do three and I'm like one of these has got to be good. And you know, sometimes none of them are. But in that point I will wait, I'll stop for the day and'll be like let me go back in like in a week when I'm sort of back in a clear mindset, and then I'll just do three more and see Amazing.

colleyc: 26:42

Amazing. Now I have one last question for you. Sure, again, thank you for your time, kevin. This has been such a treat hearing about your journey so far and what's coming down, and you've been doing this for a while, right? I think you started recording with your brother right in 20, 2009. That's as far back as I could find, yeah, and what advice would you give yourself back in 2009, with all of this experience that you've had? In retrospect? What are, what are those things that you have learned or tips and tricks you could offer to artists that are you know, kevin, from 2009? What would you tell them?

Field Medic: 27:25

wow, that's that's. That's a crazy question. I think I want to say, well, let me just do the joke answer first. I would be like yo, you need to like get on twitter and like youtube aggressively, like right now. That's what I would say, just knowing what I know about the future of technology. Yes, but I think you know I feel like when I first, when so field medic began in like 2013, and I think that in the first few years I actually was exactly where I was supposed to be, because it was this kind of rebellion against my old band, we were really trying to, you know, and not even like in a real way, but I think in our minds we were trying to get signed and be like a real band and do tours and stuff, and field medic was like no labels, like no tour. It was very like punk rock, ethos. Yeah, I, I run sunroom records and salon, I make the cassettes, I record these weird songs that I just made box like yeah, your accompaniment was just outstanding.

Field Medic: 28:32

Yeah, so I think that I was. I would. I would actually go back in time, I think, and I would say just stay, exactly. Just stay right there and and keep and, and don't abuse alcohol and drugs and don't get too caught up on stuff I don't know. Know, it's hard, it's really hard to say. I think it's easy for me to like think about what I would tell someone else, but it's hard to tell, see, what I would tell myself. Because I'm, I feel, despite all the hardships and struggles that I've been through, I still feel very lucky to be in the position that I'm in, you know, 13 or whatever years into Field Medic. So I feel like I kind of was following the right path to some degree and I'm grateful for whoever has been guiding me, the thrift god who guided me along that way me the thrift god who guided me along that way.

colleyc: 29:39

amazing, beautiful answer. Kevin, I love that all of your experiences have brought you to this point, that you're at now, because I feel you're just like, like the smoke is starting to fade and the flame is starting to show. Now I really feel like you're on fire. Now, you know, in the most wonderful way. So people listeners go out and check Kevin. He's going to be on the road. Buy a zine also. He's a great zine writer. His record will be there. Buy a shirt this is how they make their money and absolutely go and say hi to Kevin. He's a charming man who has lots of cool things to say. Kevin, thank you. This has been really, really fun. I wish you all the best on your tour. Take it slow, write a lot of great tunes and when your next record comes out, I definitely would love for you to come back on and we can continue the conversation.

Field Medic: 30:29

I would love to Thank you for having me.

colleyc: 30:31

Well, thanks a lot.

Field Medic: 30:32

Take care of yourself With your mischievous smile, your secondhand style.

Field Medic: 30:57

You're my heart's great revival. You deserve happiness. It's such a pleasure to watch you dancing circles around the bedroom Getting dressed to go to the venue brilliant, no matter what outfit you choose. Thank you To see you in the light that I do. I'm simply obsessed With your mysterious smile, your secondhand style.

Field Medic: 31:45

You're my heart's great revival. You deserve happiness. Of course you know I really love you, babe, but it goes so far beyond what words can say when it's impossible to imagine another day. You smile at me and I see my future change. You're a star I can speak to. I want you to see you In the light that I do. I'm simply obsessed With your mischievous smile, your secondhand style. You're my heart's great revival. You deserve happiness. You're a star out of space. I want you to see In the light that I do. Or it's time to speak to you. I want your love song. I can't look at you like that. I'm simply upset. You miss your smile. You're a second-hand style, your heart's pretty revival. You deserve happiness. My heart it sk gifts to your heart's tune. Your love song finally come true. Kiss your lips in the light of the low moon, swimming in the scent of your perfume.