E162: You Can’t Water the Roses If You’re Stepping on the Hose.

“You can’t water the roses if you’re stepping on the hose.”

This simple yet powerful metaphor captures what so many high-integrity leaders feel today: labouring under invisible weights while cutting off their own flow of wisdom, energy, and creativity.

But what if leadership didn’t have to mean working harder? What if it could mean letting the water flow again?

In this reflective episode, Cynthia Jamieson explores how our saboteur brains convince us that safety, success, and love come only through pressing harder. The roses are your leadership, relationships, and dreams. The water is your energy, wisdom, and love. And every time perfectionism, people-pleasing, or proving takes over, you’re stepping on your own source of power.

Through four pathways of liberation—🌱 inner growth, 💬 collective wisdom, 🔧 practical tools, and 🌟 ripple impact—you’ll learn how to take your foot off the hose and allow your authentic leadership to bloom. Because most leaders aren’t short on strategy; they’re short on self-trust.

This isn’t theory—it’s transformation. When you trust yourself, embrace community, and expand your definition of success beyond achievement, you create a legacy rooted in authenticity, not performance.

✨ Ready to take your foot off the hose? Join Be the Light—our free community where these principles come alive in practice. The water was always yours. Now it’s time to let it flow.

Transcript

Welcome to Unchartered and Unfiltered

Cynthia 0:06

Welcome to Unchartered and Unfiltered the journey back to you . I am Cynthia Jameson , your host , and this is where we break free from the noise and dive deep into what truly matters you . If you're tired of the shoulds , the expectations and the pressures to fit into a mold that doesn't serve you , you're in the right place . This isn't a podcast about easy answers or sugar-coated advice . This is your invitation to reclaim your path , embrace the unknown and become the bold , unapologetic version of yourself that's been waiting to show up . It's time to get unfiltered . Let's get started . Unfiltered . Let's get started . Hello , hello , friends , and welcome back to Unchartered and Unfiltered a journey back to you . I am Cynthia Jamieson , your host , and I'm so happy that you are here , and I'm happy to be here as I'm recording this .

Cynthia 0:59

It is Labor Day here in Canada , and that is a day that , historically , was about fighting for fair work , dignity and rest . And it feels so symbolic to be talking about this today , because so many of us are still laboring under invisible weights . We're laboring under perfectionism . We're laboring under people-pleasing . We're laboring under the belief that our worth comes only from what we produce , and that's the saboteur brain at work . It convinces us that the only way to be safe or successful or loved is to keep pressing harder , stepping on our own hose . But here's the truth you can't water the roses if you're stepping on the hose . I read this somewhere last week and I cannot stop thinking about it , which is why we're having a podcast episode so that I can talk about

Stepping on Your Own Hose

Cynthia 2:00

it . So the roses are your leadership , your relationships , your dreams , and the water is your energy , your wisdom , your love , and every time the saboteur brain presses down , it cuts off the very flow that was designed to nourish you . And so this is why , when I sat down last week I think it was last week , or maybe the week before , doesn't really matter I did sit down to create a list of 150 ways that Be the Light community supports leaders and in doing that exercise .

Cynthia 2:38

So you might be curious , why did I do that ? I did that because I am really , really wanting to create a community where I know I mean , I already know this on my heart of hearts I know that it creates change . I know that it will change your life , I know that it will have ripple impacts that I will never , ever know , and also I know that for me myself , when I am in particular , community experiences , how much value that I have received as a result of putting myself in the space so that I can be exposed to different thoughts . I can be exposed to different individuals , different perspectives , ways of thinking , ways of being , ways of challenging things , ways of experimenting . So there's so much value in that and I wanted to work my mind through what were these ways as it related to the Be the Light community , and so I did that and it took me some time . I had to like pause when my brain was like , okay , it's full , there's no more Cynthia , there's no more , there's no more ways that Be the Light can be supporting leaders than what you have here . And I kept bringing myself back and bringing myself back . And when I finished it I'm bringing myself back .

Cynthia 4:02

And when I finished it , I just paused and contemplated it and what I saw ? There were really 150 ways of liberation , 150 ways of remembering that leadership doesn't have to mean laboring harder . It can mean letting the water flow again , liberating your voice , liberating your energy , liberating your choices , liberating the parts of you that have been silenced or suppressed . And if you are listening to this , chances are you are a high integrity leader . You are someone who's been carrying a lot , maybe trying to hold it all together and this list of 150 ways and I'm not going to share them all with you , so don't worry , but that list was written with you in mind and when I grouped them , the 150 ways there were four clear pillars that emerged , and the way that I look at them for myself is they're not just categories although they can be they're pathways back to flow , and so what I want to do today is bring you through those pillars . And so what I want to do today is bring you through those pillars , share some of those reasons and why any and all of it matters .

Cynthia 5:30

And let me start with the very first one . So the very first pillar is inner growth . This is about liberating your relationship with yourself . This pillar is

The Four Pillars of Liberation

Cynthia 5:40

about untangling the hose , the places where you have cut yourself off from your own flow . Your beautiful brain has cut you off from your own flow , and some of the ways that Be the Light will support you is you will learn to trust yourself again . That is way number 50 . You will deepen your commitment to yourself . That is number 14 . You will discover fresh perspectives that you couldn't see before . That's number 15 . And you will create more ease and less internal chaos . That's number 69 . So why does this matter ? It matters because most leaders that I work with are actually not short on strategy . What they are short on is self-trust . They are running on adrenaline instead of alignment . And inner growth is the liberation of your inner authority . It's only through doing the inner work that you can recognize and see that you have had the power all along and in all of the ways , in all the previous podcasts that I've talked about how we give away our power when we allow someone else to have authority over us versus having and being in our own inner authority .

Cynthia 7:06

So the second pillar is around collective wisdom , and this is the way that I think about this . One is

Pillar 1: Inner Growth

Cynthia 7:15

in community . When you are in community , you liberate yourself from your isolation , and this is the moment when you realize that you don't have to hold the hose all alone , that you don't have to hold the hose all alone . You will see that you're not the only one who thinks or struggles in a certain way . You will be supported by like-minded leaders , seekers and visionaries . That's number five . You will spark new friendships and opportunities that you just could not have planned . I mean , I don't know when that will happen , but I know that it will . And that's number six . You will feel part of something bigger than yourself , and that is number 54 .

Cynthia 8:01

So this pillar liberates you from the myth of I should have this all figured out by myself , and it reminds you that leadership is relational , that it's not solidary . And it's so fascinating to me because , if I think about the patterns and themes from all of my clients , the thing that they always have in common is this idea that they must have everything figured out on their own , that they must know all of the answers , that there is a right way to solving things . And the reality is that's just not true . And I myself have one of these beautiful brains that loves to see things in black and white , and when I first started working with one of my coaches , she challenged me with so much love to think about how could I explore what's in between the black and the white answers ? And in doing that , I was really able to see that there was so much possibility that there truly , truly and I have evidence for this that there is no right way to lead , there is no right way to say something , there is no right way to do something . There are certainly ways that are quote unquote better than the other ways , and also that only with you finding out your right way that it can be a way that feels so good for you . And what's been fascinating I was talking with a friend of mine about this on the weekend is that I truly believe there is no right way .

Cynthia 9:37

In every fiber of my being , and when my clients initially start working with me , of course their brain is oriented to that fact that in their mind , their brain sees it as a fact that there is a right way and that somebody else has it and that they don't , which makes them feel bad or wrong and keeps them always seeking answers outside of themselves . Versus , actually , if none of that was available and you had to rely on yourself , what would be the answer that you would come up with ? How would you solve whatever this is that you're facing in this moment ? And so that gives people the perspective when I'm able to hold that belief that there is no right way . And if there isn't any right way , then what do you want to do ? What would the options be ? What would it look like , feel like , sound like ? That gives them such an exhale where they can just

Pillar 2: Collective Wisdom

Cynthia 10:30

release all of the attachment to the thing that they , that their beautiful brain , is attached to , and I just think that's so , so beautiful . I can't think of any other way to describe it than to just be able to witness someone else literally release themselves like this . This is when their you know , their shoulders drop down or they stand a little taller , or they feel like they have a smile , or their eyes light up a little bit , and I'm sure you know what I mean when I say that . Right , if you look at little kids , when they something , surprising them , I mean you can see it in the facial expressions , you can see it in the body and how it responds , and I just think that's amazing .

Cynthia 11:15

Anyways , I went off a little tangent there . I want to move to pillar number three , which is about practical tools . Now , if you all know me , you know that I love meesa , practical tools , and the reason why I love them so much is because it liberates you from confusion and from over complication . So you can think of this pillar as the nozzle on the hose which will give you your energy direction . Right , you will learn in this community how to say no without guilt . That's reason number 40 .

Cynthia 11:55

You will use your values as decision makers , like . I could do an entire podcast on this . This is number 57 . I already have done values . I can't remember if it was . I think it was number two , episode number two . If you haven't listened to that , I invite you to go back and listen to that , because understanding your values and really getting super clear on what things really matter to you can help you understand and navigate any and all situations with integrity , so that when you go to bed at night , you go to bed with you more than you do anyone else . You sleep better because whatever decision you've made , it's in alignment with your internal compass , your GPS , your decision maker , your values , the things that matter most to you , your values , the things that matter most to you . You will also , from a practical tool perspective , you will practice reframing those limiting thoughts . That's number 60 . And you will have access to real-time support when you need it . That's number 59 . Now I'm just going to set an expectation , because it doesn't mean that I'm going to be online 24 seven , because that wouldn't be liberating for me , but it does mean that you will have access to support . You can have advice , you can have coaching . You can have access to my , my mentoring brain , my HR brain , my coach brain , all the brains you get access to that when and for those of you that join , be the Light .

Cynthia 13:31

And what I love so much about this practical tools is that this is liberation from overthinking , from analysis , paralysis , from circling the same problem without an exit right , people getting stuck and practical tools . Here's what it gives you . It gives you not only the tool that's amazing , right , people getting stuck and practical tools here's what it gives you . It gives you not only the tool that's amazing , right , it gives you language . You have the framework in the tool but it also anchors you so

Pillar 3: Practical Tools

Cynthia 14:00

that you can act in alignment instead of spinning in confusion , so you can take your foot off of the hose and allow that creativity , that innovation , the joy , the love , like all those other feelings that are always available to you , even though society tells us they're not . They are , and all that's required is us to learn how to work with ourselves instead of against ourselves . And so the practical tools literally any and all of them in the free community , if you never do anything other than joining the free community , which literally takes you 60 seconds to create an account . No credit card required , there's absolutely no strings required here .

Cynthia 14:47

My whole mission is to help people change the world of work and how we do that is by changing how we think about the world of work , and it's by changing how we talk to ourselves , our relationship that we have with ourselves . And all of this brings me to pillar number four , which is the ripple impact , and this is liberating your influence and your legacy . So let me take a pause . Let's talk about the garden itself for a moment . The roses , the fruit , the shade , all of it is part of the garden . And when you think about the impact here , as a leader , a seeker , a visionary , you will model vulnerability which will ripple out to your team . That is number 131 . You will normalize saying I don't know , as a strength , not a weakness . That's number 142 .

Cynthia 15:52

And there's something I want to add about this one specifically , because I love this one so freaking much . Human brains love to tell us that we don't know the answer , and there's a couple of ways that I just love to work with this . But also , how can I don't know if we can get really , really , really curious about that . How can it be a strength . How can it be the most amazing thing that you don't freaking know ? Like when you don't know , you get to fuck around and find out . That's what some of my coaches are saying and I'm like , yes , I can . Actually , when I first heard that I was like , what are they even talking about ? But when you don't know , you get to find out . That's something that you . There's so many opportunities and possibilities there when you can normalize saying I don't know and it doesn't have to be a problem .

Cynthia 16:42

You will also expand your definition of success . This is number 47 . And I love this one so much because success for me just hand on heart , used to be all this achievement , all this pushing and all of this performing , and now it's not that . Success is how much fun am I having , how much joy am I creating , how much am I appreciating what I already have ? How much am I experiencing presence in my life ? I've completely shifted and changed the definition of success , and I probably will another hundred times . Who knows ? I get to change it as many times as I like .

Cynthia 17:22

You will also leave a legacy of light simply by being yourself . That is number 150 . And I love this one so much because it absolutely breaks my heart when I have people come to me and their goal is to learn how to lead like someone else , and I can't help but think about what a disservice that is to everyone , especially the beautiful soul across from me in the Zoom room that is thinking that the way for them is to become someone else . We don't do that here . You will leave your legacy of your light by being yourself , your uniqueness , your talents , your energy , your strengths , your solutions , your leadership . That pillar , this pillar

Pillar 4: Ripple Impact

Cynthia 18:30

is about liberating your impact from performance and proving . It is about shifting the culture around you family , team , community simply by embodying your truth and trust .

Cynthia 18:51

And when I take a step back and I look at these pillars , these pillars I don't just see theory . I see my own story , because I used to be the one pressing on my hose pretty darn hard and I'm realizing , as I'm saying , this real time . This isn't just a metaphor for me . I've lived this and I wrote about this on the weekend , but I remember so vividly still being in corporate HR at the time , in 2022 .

Cynthia 19:27

And every morning I would drag myself out of bed . And when I say drag myself out of bed , I feel like I need to qualify that , because it's not like it sounds , like the language that I'm using sounds like I literally couldn't get out of bed . That wasn't the case , but I was dragging myself , I was mustering up the energy to do it all again . I was cheerleading myself you can do this . It's amazing . Of course you're going to like it . It's not as bad as you think .

Cynthia 19:56

And each night I would pour what was left of me into coaching , which was the actual thing that lit me up . And so I was in this energetic pattern every morning of working against myself to try and get myself to do something I really didn't want to do , and then I was ending each night on such a high . There was such a polarity in what I was experiencing . And then one morning I will never forget it I put my head down on my desk and I just said to myself I can't do this anymore . And that was my hose moment .

Cynthia 20:35

My saboteurs had me convinced that I had to keep stepping harder , working harder , proving more , and don't let them see you sweat like you can do this , but that wasn't watering anything in me at all . It was drying me out . I was so thirsty , drying me out , I was so thirsty . And so when I look at these 150 ways that the Be the Light community supports leaders , again I see my own story written in them , because it wasn't until I stepped off of my hose and into my own liberation , trusting

My Own Story of Liberation

Cynthia 21:20

myself , asking for help , practicing boundaries again and again and again , letting myself be seen , letting myself be heard , letting myself be acknowledged , that things began to bloom .

Cynthia 21:41

My career shifted , my energy returned and , maybe most importantly , I stopped feeling like I had to hold it all together alone . That's the work , that's the liberation , that's taking your foot off the damn hose . And so here's my invitation to you when are you stepping on your hose ? Is it saying yes when your gut says no ? Is it pretending that you're fine when you're not ? I heard this the other day Fine is not a feeling .

Cynthia 22:17

And I used to answer everybody . Everybody would ask me how are you feeling ? I'd say fine when I was never fine . Are you working twice as hard to prove what's already true ? And what would happen if you shifted your weight , if you gave yourself permission , permission to take your foot off even for a breath , even for a moment ?

Cynthia 22:43

That's why I created Be the Light . It is not just a community , it is a practice ground , because liberation is not a one-time choice , it is a daily choice , it is a daily remembering . And Be the Light is a place with 150 doorways into liberation Liberation of your voice , liberation of your choices , liberation of your leadership and your legacy , because leadership doesn't have to mean laboring harder . It can mean letting the water flow again . So again , here's my invitation Take your foot off the hose . Watch what happens when you do . The roses bloom , you bloom , and remember the water was always yours . Until next time , friends , keep choosing your light . Hello , hello . So true confession

Invitation to Be the Light

Cynthia 23:40

.

Cynthia 23:40

I finished recording this episode and then realized that I forgot the most important part , which is inviting you into Be the Light . This is where everything that I've talked about today comes alive in community . The link is in the show notes . Come and join us . See you there . I hope that you're walking away feeling more aligned with your true self , more confident in the choices ahead and ready to leave the safe path behind , knowing you've got everything you need within . Remember , the journey to you isn't about finding one perfect direction . It's about trusting yourself enough to explore all of it . If you're ready to dive deeper , join me for the next episode and don't forget to subscribe so that you never miss the next step on your path . I invite you to join my mailing list at wwwcynthiajamesoncoachca , where we'll deepen our relationship and you can claim your copy of your Compass , a guide to charting your course to authenticity . Until next time , stay unfiltered , stay true and , most importantly , stay you .