{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":0.15,"endTime":2.39,"body":"There has been an ongoing debate on"},{"startTime":2.43,"endTime":5.21,"body":"whether or not narcissists know their"},{"startTime":5.21,"endTime":7.42,"body":"behaviors are totally unacceptable."},{"startTime":7.51,"endTime":9.78,"body":"Different people say different things,"},{"startTime":9.78,"endTime":13.62,"body":"but I say they very well know their"},{"startTime":13.62,"endTime":15.91,"body":"behavior is bad, but they do not care"},{"startTime":15.92,"endTime":18.149,"body":"about it because it doesn't impact them."},{"startTime":18.44,"endTime":21.599,"body":"It's not my opinion or how I feel, but a"},{"startTime":21.599,"endTime":24.694,"body":"fact that I have verified, by having a lot"},{"startTime":24.694,"endTime":27.584,"body":"of interactions with multiple narcissists."},{"startTime":27.634,"endTime":29.474,"body":"Today, I am going to talk about those"},{"startTime":29.474,"endTime":31.285,"body":"interactions and I'm going to prove"},{"startTime":31.285,"endTime":35.235,"body":"to you why narcissists know their"},{"startTime":35.265,"endTime":38.105,"body":"behavior is totally unacceptable."},{"startTime":38.274,"endTime":39.455,"body":"Stay until the very end."},{"startTime":39.515,"endTime":41.575,"body":"Hi, I am Danish, a narcissistic"},{"startTime":41.575,"endTime":42.915,"body":"abuse recovery professional."},{"startTime":42.964,"endTime":44.044,"body":"Welcome to my channel."},{"startTime":44.135,"endTime":45.935,"body":"Before we get started, I have a"},{"startTime":45.935,"endTime":47.565,"body":"free resource for you, a guide"},{"startTime":47.575,"endTime":48.339,"body":"that answers your questions."},{"startTime":48.68,"endTime":51.42,"body":"the top 10 questions asked by every single"},{"startTime":51.42,"endTime":53.83,"body":"survivor of narcissistic abuse out there."},{"startTime":54.24,"endTime":57.03,"body":"If you want to get instant access"},{"startTime":57.03,"endTime":58.839,"body":"and download it right now, click"},{"startTime":58.839,"endTime":60.7,"body":"the I button above or the link in"},{"startTime":60.7,"endTime":61.97,"body":"the description of this episode."},{"startTime":62.32,"endTime":64.5,"body":"Number one, their public persona"},{"startTime":64.519,"endTime":66.74,"body":"does not match their private persona."},{"startTime":66.88,"endTime":68.589,"body":"When in public, they're a saint,"},{"startTime":68.77,"endTime":70.67,"body":"but when at home, they're a monster."},{"startTime":70.759,"endTime":72.169,"body":"When out there dealing with people,"},{"startTime":72.179,"endTime":74.47,"body":"oh, they'll be kind, charismatic,"},{"startTime":74.559,"endTime":77.419,"body":"open, giving, offering, understanding,"},{"startTime":77.42,"endTime":79.289,"body":"they'll listen to you, they'll pay"},{"startTime":79.29,"endTime":81.819,"body":"attention, they will help strangers."},{"startTime":82.164,"endTime":85.875,"body":"But when with you, they will deny all"},{"startTime":85.885,"endTime":87.875,"body":"the allegations, they will not take"},{"startTime":87.885,"endTime":89.545,"body":"responsibility for their actions,"},{"startTime":89.575,"endTime":91.525,"body":"they will intentionally cause harm,"},{"startTime":91.525,"endTime":93.125,"body":"they'll abandon and neglect you."},{"startTime":93.664,"endTime":94.914,"body":"You will get to see a totally"},{"startTime":94.914,"endTime":96.104,"body":"different side to them."},{"startTime":96.104,"endTime":97.764,"body":"It's like you're dealing with two people."},{"startTime":97.765,"endTime":98.985,"body":"I say it's not just two people."},{"startTime":99.365,"endTime":101.274,"body":"It's like multiple personalities"},{"startTime":101.275,"endTime":102.973,"body":"living within the same body."},{"startTime":102.973,"endTime":104.671,"body":"Take my mother, for example,"},{"startTime":104.671,"endTime":106.369,"body":"who is a covert narcissist."},{"startTime":106.78,"endTime":108.86,"body":"When she's in public, oh she's"},{"startTime":109.19,"endTime":112.26,"body":"laughing, she's kind, she's helpful,"},{"startTime":112.58,"endTime":114.799,"body":"she's offering advice, she's telling"},{"startTime":114.799,"endTime":116.6,"body":"people what to do with their lives."},{"startTime":117.04,"endTime":118.61,"body":"But the minute she enters"},{"startTime":118.62,"endTime":121.529,"body":"her home, her face drops."},{"startTime":122.22,"endTime":125.209,"body":"She totally changes her demeanor and"},{"startTime":125.209,"endTime":127.65,"body":"turns into this victim personality"},{"startTime":127.65,"endTime":131.16,"body":"type who sees her family, or used to"},{"startTime":131.16,"endTime":133.89,"body":"see back then her family, as a big"},{"startTime":133.9,"endTime":135.38,"body":"burden she did not want to deal with."},{"startTime":136.114,"endTime":137.344,"body":"On the other hand, my father,"},{"startTime":137.344,"endTime":138.554,"body":"who was an overt narcissist,"},{"startTime":138.984,"endTime":141.304,"body":"would act in devious ways."},{"startTime":141.474,"endTime":142.924,"body":"He would turn into a monster when"},{"startTime":142.924,"endTime":144.984,"body":"at home, and he would be filled"},{"startTime":144.984,"endTime":146.544,"body":"with nothing but rage all the time."},{"startTime":146.784,"endTime":149.024,"body":"As children, we had to walk"},{"startTime":149.184,"endTime":150.364,"body":"on eggshells around him."},{"startTime":150.864,"endTime":152.664,"body":"But the same person would turn into"},{"startTime":152.664,"endTime":155.254,"body":"this charismatic guy, this kind person,"},{"startTime":155.255,"endTime":158.365,"body":"who would offer advice to strangers."},{"startTime":158.645,"endTime":160.235,"body":"And people would say, Oh, you are"},{"startTime":160.235,"endTime":162.035,"body":"so lucky to have a father like that."},{"startTime":162.345,"endTime":164.055,"body":"Oh, you are so lucky to"},{"startTime":164.055,"endTime":164.925,"body":"have a mother like that."},{"startTime":164.955,"endTime":167.005,"body":"Look at her, how much she has sacrificed."},{"startTime":167.225,"endTime":169.105,"body":"Look at your father, how much he's doing."},{"startTime":169.245,"endTime":170.515,"body":"He's so hardworking."},{"startTime":170.745,"endTime":171.835,"body":"What's wrong with you?"},{"startTime":172.075,"endTime":175.055,"body":"Why are you not pleasing them properly?"},{"startTime":175.264,"endTime":178.275,"body":"You're obliged to make them happy."},{"startTime":178.415,"endTime":180.385,"body":"It's your fault, not theirs."},{"startTime":180.485,"endTime":182.725,"body":"The fact that they behave differently"},{"startTime":182.725,"endTime":185.359,"body":"in different settings tells us they"},{"startTime":185.359,"endTime":188.07,"body":"know what is and what is not acceptable."},{"startTime":188.489,"endTime":191.71,"body":"How come they can choose to be nice"},{"startTime":191.959,"endTime":195.109,"body":"and non abusive when in public, helpful"},{"startTime":195.369,"endTime":197.149,"body":"when others are watching, but when"},{"startTime":197.149,"endTime":198.439,"body":"nobody's watching, when there is no"},{"startTime":198.48,"endTime":201.179,"body":"audience, they show you their true self."},{"startTime":201.42,"endTime":203.179,"body":"It's only possible if they"},{"startTime":203.189,"endTime":205.279,"body":"have some kind of awareness."},{"startTime":205.99,"endTime":210.76,"body":"Some idea that I cannot say or do"},{"startTime":210.76,"endTime":213.26,"body":"certain things because doing or saying"},{"startTime":213.26,"endTime":216.899,"body":"them would trigger negative feedback."},{"startTime":217.08,"endTime":219.179,"body":"Or people would perceive"},{"startTime":219.179,"endTime":220.61,"body":"me in a negative way."},{"startTime":220.91,"endTime":223.15,"body":"But when those eyes are not watching"},{"startTime":223.4,"endTime":226.139,"body":"and they know as a wife, as a partner,"},{"startTime":226.159,"endTime":228.039,"body":"as a husband, or as their child you"},{"startTime":228.039,"endTime":230.059,"body":"would never leave them, they resort"},{"startTime":230.149,"endTime":232.269,"body":"to their original ways of thinking."},{"startTime":232.59,"endTime":234.68,"body":"of functioning which you and I"},{"startTime":234.89,"endTime":236.99,"body":"know are purely dysfunctional."},{"startTime":237.07,"endTime":239.609,"body":"Number two, they temporarily change"},{"startTime":239.64,"endTime":242.51,"body":"their behaviors when they know you know."},{"startTime":242.529,"endTime":243.549,"body":"I would say they change their"},{"startTime":243.579,"endTime":245.41,"body":"colors, they put on a different mask."},{"startTime":245.81,"endTime":248.26,"body":"Why would they do it if they"},{"startTime":248.26,"endTime":250.42,"body":"did not know what they're doing?"},{"startTime":250.64,"endTime":253.13,"body":"Let's take an example of somebody"},{"startTime":253.13,"endTime":255.4,"body":"who has schizophrenia or psychosis."},{"startTime":255.795,"endTime":256.904,"body":"They do not have"},{"startTime":257.225,"endTime":259.905,"body":"schizophrenia here and there."},{"startTime":260.215,"endTime":261.445,"body":"It's not a choice for them."},{"startTime":261.654,"endTime":262.974,"body":"If you have psychosis, you"},{"startTime":262.985,"endTime":265.065,"body":"have psychosis all the time or"},{"startTime":265.094,"endTime":266.674,"body":"any other mental health issue."},{"startTime":267.085,"endTime":269.584,"body":"But how can they change?"},{"startTime":269.595,"endTime":271.544,"body":"How can they switch their personalities?"},{"startTime":271.555,"endTime":273.774,"body":"How can they put on a mask?"},{"startTime":274.47,"endTime":276.05,"body":"That suits the situation."},{"startTime":276.23,"endTime":279.26,"body":"Of course, they know if they were to"},{"startTime":279.54,"endTime":283.61,"body":"Continuously abuse you and if they were"},{"startTime":283.64,"endTime":288.169,"body":"to make you hit your tolerance level You"},{"startTime":288.169,"endTime":290.47,"body":"are going to abandon them, which is not"},{"startTime":290.49,"endTime":294.0,"body":"what they want So they act nicely which"},{"startTime":294.0,"endTime":298.19,"body":"is something they can do They they can"},{"startTime":298.2,"endTime":300.27,"body":"show that kind of behavior most of the"},{"startTime":300.27,"endTime":302.905,"body":"time You But that doesn't benefit them"},{"startTime":303.335,"endTime":305.235,"body":"and they do not want you to get benefited."},{"startTime":305.455,"endTime":307.695,"body":"They do not want to create ease for you."},{"startTime":307.925,"endTime":310.345,"body":"They only want chaos."},{"startTime":310.645,"endTime":312.085,"body":"From recent interaction with the"},{"startTime":312.085,"endTime":313.814,"body":"narcissist, I got to understand that"},{"startTime":313.825,"endTime":316.105,"body":"these people are terrified of being"},{"startTime":316.105,"endTime":318.305,"body":"their true self because their true"},{"startTime":318.315,"endTime":320.374,"body":"self is extremely negative, rage"},{"startTime":320.384,"endTime":322.155,"body":"filled, and it has nothing to offer."},{"startTime":322.52,"endTime":324.17,"body":"That person told me, well,"},{"startTime":324.2,"endTime":325.66,"body":"I have to change myself."},{"startTime":325.66,"endTime":327.77,"body":"I have to be what that person"},{"startTime":327.77,"endTime":330.569,"body":"wants me to be because I know my"},{"startTime":330.57,"endTime":333.01,"body":"true self will not be accepted."},{"startTime":333.12,"endTime":335.95,"body":"So, I give them doses of what I"},{"startTime":335.96,"endTime":338.599,"body":"can be so that they hold on to the"},{"startTime":338.61,"endTime":340.24,"body":"hope and they try to restore it."},{"startTime":340.785,"endTime":343.745,"body":"And when I know they are deep"},{"startTime":343.755,"endTime":346.185,"body":"in the relationship, I resort to"},{"startTime":346.195,"endTime":349.445,"body":"being that true self because I know"},{"startTime":349.734,"endTime":351.335,"body":"they won't leave me or it won't be"},{"startTime":351.405,"endTime":353.825,"body":"easy for them to see through me."},{"startTime":353.864,"endTime":354.734,"body":"Proof number three."},{"startTime":354.955,"endTime":356.435,"body":"If you treat them the same way"},{"startTime":356.435,"endTime":357.614,"body":"they treat you, they see it"},{"startTime":357.614,"endTime":359.169,"body":"as an insult or as a threat."},{"startTime":359.46,"endTime":360.72,"body":"major injustice."},{"startTime":361.18,"endTime":362.85,"body":"The rules do not apply to them."},{"startTime":363.32,"endTime":365.08,"body":"They can insult you, they can put you"},{"startTime":365.08,"endTime":367.31,"body":"down, they can treat you horribly, they"},{"startTime":367.31,"endTime":369.519,"body":"can abuse you, abandon you, neglect you,"},{"startTime":369.94,"endTime":372.86,"body":"because in their head they have justified"},{"startTime":372.869,"endTime":374.699,"body":"it to themselves that you deserve it."},{"startTime":375.21,"endTime":376.509,"body":"That you are wrong, therefore"},{"startTime":376.509,"endTime":377.479,"body":"you must be punished."},{"startTime":377.989,"endTime":379.59,"body":"But if you try to give them a"},{"startTime":379.59,"endTime":381.51,"body":"taste of their own medicine, oh my"},{"startTime":381.51,"endTime":383.419,"body":"goodness, they are going to lose it."},{"startTime":383.479,"endTime":384.77,"body":"It's like they're shocked when"},{"startTime":384.77,"endTime":386.499,"body":"you talk to them the same way."},{"startTime":386.799,"endTime":388.249,"body":"When you insult their family or"},{"startTime":388.26,"endTime":389.989,"body":"when you point out their flaws."},{"startTime":390.39,"endTime":391.46,"body":"They can't accept it."},{"startTime":391.96,"endTime":393.539,"body":"That's when they try to grill you."},{"startTime":393.539,"endTime":395.47,"body":"That's when they punish you harder."},{"startTime":395.48,"endTime":396.6,"body":"How dare you?"},{"startTime":396.61,"endTime":399.63,"body":"How could you speak to me that way?"},{"startTime":399.63,"endTime":401.58,"body":"Why did you use that word?"},{"startTime":401.88,"endTime":403.78,"body":"But what about you using it all the time?"},{"startTime":403.79,"endTime":405.21,"body":"No, they do not think about it."},{"startTime":405.239,"endTime":406.309,"body":"They do not care about it."},{"startTime":406.98,"endTime":411.22,"body":"That's what tells us, that tells"},{"startTime":411.22,"endTime":412.94,"body":"us they know it's unacceptable."},{"startTime":413.69,"endTime":415.38,"body":"They do not want to be treated the"},{"startTime":415.38,"endTime":417.84,"body":"same way, which means the way they are"},{"startTime":417.84,"endTime":420.93,"body":"treating you, they know is not okay."},{"startTime":421.13,"endTime":422.62,"body":"Now you may ask, if they know it's"},{"startTime":422.62,"endTime":424.849,"body":"not okay, why do they and how do they"},{"startTime":424.849,"endTime":426.54,"body":"keep treating people the same way?"},{"startTime":426.689,"endTime":428.57,"body":"Through self guess lighting."},{"startTime":429.099,"endTime":431.88,"body":"They justify things to themselves,"},{"startTime":431.919,"endTime":433.96,"body":"they compartmentalize things and"},{"startTime":433.96,"endTime":436.77,"body":"minimize abuse to make it seem"},{"startTime":436.77,"endTime":438.849,"body":"like it's okay and acceptable."},{"startTime":439.17,"endTime":441.23,"body":"Proof number four, and the last one."},{"startTime":441.75,"endTime":443.93,"body":"After hurting you, they have"},{"startTime":443.93,"endTime":445.5,"body":"a smirk on their face as if"},{"startTime":445.5,"endTime":447.26,"body":"they're enjoying that experience."},{"startTime":447.639,"endTime":450.21,"body":"You may have seen it, and that tells"},{"startTime":450.21,"endTime":451.539,"body":"us they know what they're doing."},{"startTime":451.789,"endTime":453.57,"body":"I've seen it so many times"},{"startTime":453.93,"endTime":455.51,"body":"on the faces of almost all"},{"startTime":455.52,"endTime":456.689,"body":"narcissists that I have ever met."},{"startTime":457.7,"endTime":457.9,"body":"dealt with."},{"startTime":458.15,"endTime":461.31,"body":"Deep down, they know what that"},{"startTime":461.35,"endTime":464.43,"body":"comment was meant to make you feel."},{"startTime":464.7,"endTime":466.84,"body":"They know what withholding"},{"startTime":466.86,"endTime":468.76,"body":"affection is doing to you."},{"startTime":469.19,"endTime":471.67,"body":"They know how silent treatment"},{"startTime":472.099,"endTime":474.21,"body":"is strangulating you."},{"startTime":474.43,"endTime":477.149,"body":"They know what will happen to your"},{"startTime":477.149,"endTime":479.099,"body":"brain if they were to stonewall you."},{"startTime":479.219,"endTime":480.44,"body":"And they love doing it to you"},{"startTime":480.48,"endTime":482.2,"body":"because they have zero empathy."},{"startTime":482.28,"endTime":483.74,"body":"I don't say they have lack of empathy."},{"startTime":483.74,"endTime":485.54,"body":"No, they do not care."},{"startTime":485.57,"endTime":486.74,"body":"They do not give a damn."},{"startTime":487.224,"endTime":488.554,"body":"And they love punishing you"},{"startTime":488.775,"endTime":490.325,"body":"because they want justice."},{"startTime":490.374,"endTime":491.924,"body":"They're crazy about justice."},{"startTime":492.174,"endTime":493.124,"body":"What kind of justice?"},{"startTime":493.544,"endTime":496.134,"body":"Where the narcissist is always avenged."},{"startTime":496.404,"endTime":497.164,"body":"They win."},{"startTime":497.484,"endTime":498.935,"body":"They because they're superior"},{"startTime":499.284,"endTime":501.954,"body":"and you get punished."},{"startTime":501.965,"endTime":503.634,"body":"You experience all the pain."},{"startTime":503.665,"endTime":504.115,"body":"Why?"},{"startTime":504.165,"endTime":506.825,"body":"Well, you gave them a pain."},{"startTime":507.075,"endTime":509.565,"body":"They did not deserve to experience at all."},{"startTime":509.784,"endTime":511.715,"body":"That smirk says it all."},{"startTime":511.725,"endTime":512.775,"body":"Let me know what your thoughts"},{"startTime":512.775,"endTime":514.245,"body":"are on this in the comments below."},{"startTime":514.454,"endTime":515.784,"body":"So with that, let's bring"},{"startTime":515.784,"endTime":516.755,"body":"this episode to an end."},{"startTime":516.755,"endTime":517.885,"body":"Thank you so much for listening."},{"startTime":517.885,"endTime":519.164,"body":"I will talk to you on the next one."},{"startTime":519.594,"endTime":521.174,"body":"Until then, as always, let the"},{"startTime":521.174,"endTime":522.684,"body":"healing begin and continue."}]}