Royal Highness!

Episode 151 - Reunited - TLK S4E7

Eileen and Spencer

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Spencer is suffering from “the sickness” so Producer Mike steps in to helpt out. We take on The Last Kingdom Season 4 Episode 7 on Netflix.  With the Final Farticy Panty split three ways, they all converge on Mercia.  Uht addresses the Whittan and winds up in chains. Will Evil Doctor/Mister House be able to break Uht? Will Fled find her daughter? Will Edward finally do something right? And what of little Stan? Who is cousin Sigtryggr and will Brida convince him she is Cnut’s baby momma? Will the Danes hold Wales? Will Uht finally have some peace? Confused? You won’t be after this fun filled episode of Royal Highness!

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SPEAKER_03

Did you uh pick up on the fact that it seemed like everybody was really, really smug this episode? I don't know. We could talk about it as we get on.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, we can. There was a lot of smirking. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03

And sighing and I wonder.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, it was weird. It had a weird energy to it. It did. Almost like a finale energy.

SPEAKER_03

Well, yeah, because they brought everything together.

SPEAKER_05

Yes, they've like tied up all these loose ends. It's almost like a season finale. It's not like a seasoned finale.

SPEAKER_03

But it's not.

SPEAKER_05

Although if it were a Game of Thrones season finale, at the end when everybody was feeling all, huh, it was something would have blown up. Or a dragon would have swooped in and chomped up a handful of children or something. That's the that's the kind of storytelling I'm missing. Okay, well, hello, and welcome to the Royal Highness podcast, where sometimes while we prefer to watch George Rebel Rebel Martin shows for the first time while we're enhanced with cannabis products, and then we talk about them while we're still enhanced with cannabis products, and we did do the entirety of Knight of the Seven Kingdoms. Now we're back watching The Last Kingdoms on Netflix, so we can talk about that instead of so much. Uh hello, Mike. Hello, Eileen. Well, this is different. We had a last-minute cancellation by Spencer, and so Spencer's not here tonight, but it's so Mike is is going to um put on the co-host hat instead of the producer hat tonight. And he's he's quite good at that. He's he does a couple other shows, anyways. Yeah, Spencer is uh out sick tonight. It's terrible, it's just terrible. It is terrible. I it it sounds horrible what he has.

SPEAKER_03

He came down with a sickness after last week.

SPEAKER_05

Uh yeah, something about swallowing broken glass knives and uh yeah, something like that. Ow, hell. Oh hey, speaking of violence, nudity, ginger, last kingdom season four, episode seven, titled Episode seven. Episode seven. So creative. I get shivers. Netflix says Ilfwin suffers from the sickness sweeping the land. Edward proposes an unexpected path forward for Mercia. Breda is freed by Knut kinsmen. And hey, if you're looking for a very unique accent, nobody can pinpoint, call me. We're like I said, we're promised violence, nudity, language, and gore.

SPEAKER_03

Good old gore.

SPEAKER_05

Did we get nudity?

SPEAKER_03

Um no. I don't recall any nudity.

SPEAKER_05

Did we get language?

unknown

No.

SPEAKER_05

Nobody was called a fuck knuckle. That's my favorite nude.

SPEAKER_03

Fuck knuckles, yeah.

SPEAKER_05

No, no, but uh violence?

SPEAKER_03

Oh, yeah, there was lots of violence. When cigret curr comes into the Welsh Cigarette Strider, whatever his name is.

SPEAKER_04

We'll get there. Cigarette. His name has a lot.

SPEAKER_05

Oh, Y and two R is 50 minutes long, which seems so long after Dunkin' Egg, yes. And God, when we get back to like House of the Dragon, each episode is gonna be like 90 minutes. I have to start at noon. Okay. Sometimes some of these episodes are hard to get through, and it does take me like two to three hours to get through an hour episode with everything. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Well, and I usually watch because I haven't seen this series before when we were doing Game of Thrones initially, and I had seen it many, many times. So and you and Spencer had not. But now I'm watching it for the first time with you guys, and normally what I do is I watch it once through the day before.

SPEAKER_05

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

So that I can start cogitating over storylines that I remember just from watching it, and then when I go back to take notes for the recording, I watch it again, and I can pause it and type and pause it and type and stuff like that. So yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Okay. Yes. I strictly watch it one time through. Okay. I my routine is elevate.

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

SPEAKER_05

Watch show take notes, elevate, and record. Record. That's my routine. Uh, and in between there are breaks for beverages, uh, the occasional uh phone game. Oh just because so my ADHD brain doesn't shut down. It's like dopamine, dopamine, dopamine. Okay, back to the show.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, did you come up with a different title? I just came up with Reunited.

SPEAKER_05

Oh, okay. So this one I have a title, but I don't want to talk about it until we get there. Okay, sounds good. Okay, we get the recap. He is Utrid, son of Utrid, father of Utrud. Rita was captured and enslaved. Red's death has all the boys in the yard uh trying to jerk jiggle their way in. Erdvut is betrothed to uh baby Wynne, and Utrid changed their plans and stole the kids. So Wolf came looking for them, and oh no, the sickness is in the land. Okay. This is an unnamed sickness. Yes. The other people seemed to be pretty bad off. Yeah. I'm just gonna say, I don't think Elf Wynn had that sickness.

SPEAKER_02

I think we think she had the flu.

SPEAKER_05

I think she had the flu.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Possibly a strep infection. Anyway, we see mommy's mad that you know her kids are out roaming around while there's sickness, and uh Edith noticing that Wynne is sick. Um Edith. Yeah, Edith. And then he says basically, we gotta find somebody to rule, or we're fucked. Destiny's up. Yes. Yeah. And so we get the Survivor song. I'm watching the new season of Survivor. Oh, how exciting! It's the 50th episode, it's the 50th season. I I haven't watched every single uh season because I had life in between there. It's crazy. When I when it started, I was pregnant with Wow. That's wild to me. And she's now a full-grown adult. And so there was.

SPEAKER_03

She's not 50, so they should have they must have had a couple of years. Oh, okay, that makes sense.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, she'll be 25 this year. How the hell did that happen? Oh, we start with churchy things. Oh, it's um red's decision.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, and we we open on the Monty Python.

SPEAKER_05

Yes.

SPEAKER_04

P A Sud I Spa PM.

SPEAKER_05

Yes, I smell red in unison. I was hoping you'd have that. I was really hoping. I wrote it in there. I'm like, what do you buy that thing?

unknown

Yep.

SPEAKER_05

We also see Father P kind of sneaking around doing the side shuffle along the buildings.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, with with the empty streets because they're all out spitting on the prior lord.

SPEAKER_05

Nobody seems real happy. You know, you know, nobody seems real upset that he's dead.

SPEAKER_03

No, they seem very happy in there. It's like, you know, a curse on the line of, I mean, that's pretty serious.

SPEAKER_05

You know, this this whole episode was full of premonitions. Hopefully, for our world. Okay. Big funeral procession, a lot of spitting. Just saying. Oh, he was he was letting Utrud and the kids in. Right. So basically he's shown up at the gates, they run through the little house on the prairie field, come in the door. There they are.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. And what's funny was that when he said, you know, this is my daughter and and Edward's bastard's son, and Pierrig's like, huh?

SPEAKER_05

I thought he knew about no Bioka knew about him.

SPEAKER_03

Bioka knew about him, yeah. Pierre is the new Bioka, so clearly.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. What if the Bioka guy could go on to do I wonder? Did he leave the show because he had something else to do?

SPEAKER_03

Oh, must have, yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. Or maybe there's just that character, you know, that character in history dies. Yes, sure. Could be. Uh pretty sure not in the quite the grandiose way that our father Bioka died.

SPEAKER_04

Didn't Father Bioka die? Yes.

SPEAKER_05

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

How did he die again?

SPEAKER_05

Death? I don't remember. Ladies and gentlemen, this is why we have Spencer. Spencer is has young brain. I have smooth brain. So especially on these evenings. So, um, all right. Finn goes out goes with Utred and Father P takes the kid and takes all the kids, doesn't he? Mm-hmm. Okay, so basically Finn and Utred. Finn and Utred drop the kids off at daycare. Pretty much. Yep. And go off to do what they gotta do. Daddy thing. And we had a lot of cutbacks and forths in this.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, there was a lot of cutscenes. Yeah. Holy here to there, to here to there, to here to there.

SPEAKER_05

Edward's basically walking with Burgerville. Oh no, he's walking with what's that guy's name? Who was his advisor?

SPEAKER_03

Dr. Mr. House? That guy?

SPEAKER_05

No, the other guy. Who's like who's the guy who did the the later on with uh Utred? I don't want to say it out loud to her not. He'll mean anyway.

SPEAKER_03

Oh yeah, no, no, that's that's uh that's Dr. Mr. House. That's what uh that's what Spencer always calls him. That's um uh Aethelhelm. Oh god, he's another Aethel, forget it. Yeah, everything's an Aethelm. Yeah, that dude. Yeah, that dude. That dude. Broad dude.

SPEAKER_05

So Edward and he are talking about the state of the kingdom, and he's like, well, Burgerville still doesn't like me. Here's the line that got me. Yeah. He said, Truly dangerous men do not issue threats. Yes. That was the title, and I thought, ooh, I want to make a meme. Yes. Truly dangerous men do not issue threats. Yeah. What did we just hear recently that he had to go walkity back, back, back, back, get back, get back?

SPEAKER_03

I don't remember.

SPEAKER_05

Uh also taco. Anyhow.

SPEAKER_03

Anyway.

SPEAKER_05

Anywho, we are not a political podcast. I'd just like to make that disclaimer right now.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_05

Because political podcasts have to remain kind of neutral. And hidden. And and I am not. So hey, man, if they come for me, what a way to go. I'll, you know, come on. Anyway. I love Finn and I'm an atheist.

SPEAKER_03

Finn and looks at Utri, it's like, I know that look, you have no plan.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, he's like, um.

SPEAKER_03

I'm just gonna tell them all what happened.

unknown

Yep.

SPEAKER_03

Just gonna tell them all the truth. Because that's always gotten me everywhere.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. And then a knight comes up behind Ed and he's like, uh, just so you know, the Whittin's happening right after the funeral. So if you're gonna go to the brunch, you might want to let Linda know that you're gonna be late. You know how she gets when you don't, you know, she saves that plate for you and then it gets nasty. So anyway.

SPEAKER_03

And by the way, they did say that uh you're not invited.

SPEAKER_05

Yes, well, that's exactly right. He's like, How come I didn't know about this? Well, you uh you know.

SPEAKER_03

Um and who is that guy? The tall the uh oh, the guy behind him, the knight. The knight. We see he is getting a lot of screen time this episode. Yes, we'll we find out later who he is, right?

SPEAKER_05

But I'm just like he but he keeps popping up and we don't know his name. I think they're trying to introduce him as a main character. I think so.

SPEAKER_03

He's like the head of the King's Guard, I guess.

SPEAKER_05

I think that's he's gonna end up uh working for Flafla. Fla flaffla Afla fla. Yes. So we get more Latin uh because we're in the the the line. Everybody kneels. And like Finn and Oot are kind of doing that behind the building at the parade thing, yeah. Where they're just kind of talking amongst themselves, and they're like, you know, they're gonna kill you. And he's like, Ah, they won't kill me. I'm the only one who knows where the kid is.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I know where the win is, which really makes no difference in the end because we'll we'll get there.

SPEAKER_05

Correct. This information had no bearing on anything, correct, absolutely nothing. Then we get the typical, oh my god, why does every scene like this have to be like this? Why has it got to be Shakespearean and stupid? Don't get me wrong. I love Shakespeare, but why has it got to be the man has no blah blah blah blah blah? And it's like just say we don't like him. He's a dipstick and we don't think he's got enough experience, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

SPEAKER_03

To be clear, we're talking about the elderman ranting about King Edward being a nasty man.

SPEAKER_05

Right. Yes. It's the Witten. There are the Witten.

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. And but I didn't notice that girl is there. Right?

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Isn't there one of the isn't there like a little girl who's one of the She must be the scribe. I don't know. Am I thinking of Game of Thrones?

SPEAKER_03

I think you're thinking of Game of Thrones. I didn't see a little girl there.

SPEAKER_05

Oh dear God. Maybe I'm seeing things. They just put an extra in there, like, yeah, just sit there, kid. You fill in a space.

SPEAKER_01

Great.

SPEAKER_05

He's he's like he's one of those pages that when somebody gets up, he's he steps in and sits down, so the crowd still looks full, like at the Oscars.

SPEAKER_03

Absolutely, yes. Well, and they're ranting and raving, and In Walks the King. Yes. Right as the elderman, who we later learn is named Bagwell. I think it's I think he's Bagwell or something like that. Yes.

SPEAKER_05

I don't remember. It's Bergwell.

SPEAKER_03

Bergwell, Bagwell. I call him Burgerville most of the time, so I don't know. And In Walks the King. He's like, oh no, no, no, go ahead. Continue. Don't mind me.

SPEAKER_05

I like to watch. Keep arguing.

SPEAKER_03

Speak freely, which is like, you know, what every business meeting when the boss walks in. Right. And he's like, no, no, say exactly what you want to say. And there's always that one guy. That one guy. Everybody else is like taking notes. And that one guy says, Well, I'll speak up. Oh, and we're all like, oh no, no, no.

SPEAKER_04

And then after that, Utrun interrupts the whole thing. Yeah. He's like, wait a minute. Hang on.

SPEAKER_05

He's like, hey, by the way, that boy who had the sister, he's the one that killed Aethelred. And I've got a witness to back it up. It's Edith. And they're like, y'all lying. And he's like, nope, got the ring to prove it. And then they didn't know.

SPEAKER_03

I mean, he could have easily they could have easily says, well then you killed him and took the ring. But no, they all believed him.

SPEAKER_05

I was like, Wait, and he just said clearly, you have a much higher body count than this other guy.

SPEAKER_03

All right. And wouldn't the guards that saw him leave come back? Did they just not come back to Mercia? The ones that held him at Arrowpoint and said. Oh, didn't they kill them? I thought they killed them. No, they just let them go.

SPEAKER_05

I don't remember.

SPEAKER_03

So wouldn't they come back and said something? Or maybe they got lost on the way back to Mercia. I mean.

SPEAKER_05

Or maybe they said, fuck this shit. I'm gonna go open a bakery in uh something.

SPEAKER_03

In Westeros and hire a little guy named Hot Pie. Hot Pie.

SPEAKER_05

But anyway. I am Warm Cake. Yes. My son shall be hot pie. His son shall be Lava Potter.

SPEAKER_03

Under Peter.

SPEAKER_05

It's home with it. Okay. Yes. Uh blah blah blah. They have blame everything on Beowulf. Yep. Back at camp. In the weirdest.

SPEAKER_03

I said, cut to scene 24.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

And we're in the weir forest, and Babybunk is like sitting with Wynne, and Edith's like, don't mind me, just shuffling in here with a bowl full of Melort. Nobody look. Nobody look. And he's like, hey. Hey, hey. Is that Malort? And she's like, No, no, it's wormwood.

unknown

No.

SPEAKER_05

Which is Malort. Malort is made with wormwood. Oh, so is Amazon? That's what makes it so delicious. Yeah. Malort. Because these pants aren't gonna shit themselves. She's like, fine. She takes a big slug of it and then she goes, fine. So if she's gonna die, I'm gonna die too. So I'm thinking, oh such. Um she's like, she just like pretends to drink. She just got her lips on it. Um cut to scene 316. Ed and Utred are talking. Ed wants to know where Wynne is. Um it's like, can't tell you. Sorry. He's like, okay, take him away. And Utrid, this is the first smirk like we were talking about. Oot's like, oh, this again. Yeah. Exactly. Okay, let's do this. Oh my god. And then Ed's like, well, fuck.

SPEAKER_03

Now we have to find a different dude for when right. And okay, I have to mention the wardrobe choice at this point. I've been wondering for the past three episodes. King Edward has been wearing the same garb. Oh, yes, the one that makes him look pregnant. Pregnant, yes, exactly. That's what I said. Makes him look pregnant. Why do they keep putting him in scenes with that? Um, did he not bring any change of clothes to Mercia when he came for an extended stay?

SPEAKER_05

He did, but see, what he's got going is he's got the uniform mentality. Okay, all right. So you plan your day so you never have to think about your clothes. Okay, awesome. Same pajamas every night, same clothes every day. There you go. It's easy, easy peasy. I don't know. I thought it was just that this all took place in the space of about a day.

SPEAKER_03

Maybe maybe it's well, no, because we've had day and night and day and night and day and night over.

SPEAKER_05

Are you sure?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

So then it's like, well, maybe in who says this? Instead of bonding with the eldermen, we have to break them.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, that was that was Edward. He said that. That was Edward.

SPEAKER_05

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Yep.

SPEAKER_05

Cut to. Yep. That's as quick as it was, kids. Brita laughing, hearing them being defeated by the Danes.

SPEAKER_03

Well, they were talking, they were lamenting a story about being defeated, and she was giggling. Yes, yes, yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_05

And I thought, oh no, he's gonna waterboard her.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Because he gets out of pitcher and starts pouring on her. And then, like, when she finally gets up to get some water, he like pulls it back. And I'm like, Of course. Yeah, dicks, you know. Yeah. Cut to. Back to, yes. The king demanding some guy's grain as he comes in.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, this was this was Balsack. Uh Balsack, yes, that's his name. Yeah. He was bringing in the grain for safe storage.

SPEAKER_05

I didn't understand why he was bringing his grain in.

SPEAKER_03

Because earlier in the show they said that the the eldermen were hoarding the grain. Oh, that's what it was.

SPEAKER_05

So he went to his village, got the grain that he had been saving, and brought it in. Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Gotcha. And and then unnamed Kingsguard comes up and says, Give me that grain. Give me that grain.

SPEAKER_05

Give me that grain. Give me that grain. Give me that grain. All right. Cut two. You know I'm going to talk about it. Bull cut and fled. Notice they're being followed. So they leave the path. And they go tromping off into strange ones they don't know. Yep. Off the path. They're gonna f that horse is good. One of those horses is gonna break a leg. I'm just saying it's gonna go in a rabbit hole. It's gonna go.

SPEAKER_03

Again, it's it's very well maintained. It was like it was next to some riding area for horses. I don't know.

SPEAKER_05

But anyway, they do eventually just let the horses go and then they run up into the rocks and the trees. I swear it's the same rocks and trees that every character hides in.

SPEAKER_03

Well, not only that, but they also took advantage of the Local hide a horse uh station nearby.

SPEAKER_05

Well no, they just told it to go, go!

SPEAKER_03

Go, go!

SPEAKER_05

And the horse is like, go where? Go where? Hide a horse, you leave him, we'll come get 'em. Hide a horse. Call 1-800, hide a horse. Call 1-800, hide a horse. Hide your horse today.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, and they flee into the woods. Yep.

SPEAKER_05

And cut to Edward trying to get a fucking minute to himself.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

The Monty Python's flying circus comes in. All perfectly aligned. Like a Maguire. Like a little amoeba.

SPEAKER_03

Yep.

SPEAKER_05

And okay. The book is like, maybe we don't need Wessex. And the others all look like, oh shit. Like that kid's in Christmas story. Where Raphys beating the shit out of Flick. Yep. And they're like, oh shit. And Ed's like, oh. Again, the smug. Yeah. If you want me to leave, guess what? One of your guys got a butt hands on me. And God's gonna be pissed if you do that.

SPEAKER_03

And so there's that one guy again. Same guy. Same guy. I'll do it. Because I'm stupid. He pulls his sword.

SPEAKER_05

Yep. Right? And then Ed's like, oh, before we get into this, just so you know, I uh you know your little long-haired, really quiet, weird looking son that looks like your daughter?

SPEAKER_03

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_05

Well, I that doesn't bother me. It's the fact that the kid just looks like a ghost.

SPEAKER_03

He's just like, um and he hasn't said anything, so he's not, he's only getting scale. Right.

SPEAKER_04

That's what it is. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_05

Stand where we put you. Don't say anything, no improv. Yep, don't crack a smile. Don't move your lips here.

SPEAKER_03

Yep, nothing. Yeah, nothing that could be considered acting. Just sit there. No emoting. Yes. You'll go far in this business, young man. Yes, for religious instructions.

SPEAKER_05

Yes, he sent him for uh religious instruction, and it will be held there until his father shows better judgment.

SPEAKER_03

Yes. Sent to Wessex, by the way.

SPEAKER_05

Cut to horseman galloping past.

SPEAKER_03

Yep.

SPEAKER_05

And I'm like, oh, it's Utred's men. And uh they figure that out and they tell her about Wynn being sick, and she's like, I want to get sick too. Take me to my daughter. Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_03

Take me to her now.

SPEAKER_05

Cut to Cut to Here's this night when you were talking about it's getting a lot of FaceTime, right? Right, yeah. And he's behind Utrud and he's locking him up. And Utrud's like, I know where have we met before? I've met you before. I'm sure we know each other from somewhere. What school does your kid go to?

SPEAKER_03

And he's being all coy about it, like Are you on the board at the guild?

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_05

And he's like, oh blue.

SPEAKER_03

Yum fliot.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_05

And he's like, he doesn't say yes, but he kind of, you know. Although Utrud can't see him because he's behind him. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03

No, no, no. No, he's in front of him.

SPEAKER_05

Is he in front of him?

SPEAKER_03

He's standing right in front of him, face to face. He was putting the shackles upon his hands.

SPEAKER_05

Oh, I believe you.

SPEAKER_03

Because Dr. Mr. House comes up behind him.

SPEAKER_05

Right.

SPEAKER_03

All sneaky, evil Dr. Snape-ish. Yeah, he comes in.

SPEAKER_05

He comes in all reservoir dogs. Taking off his jacket, loosening the tie, putting on the music.

SPEAKER_02

There we go.

SPEAKER_05

I can never remember what song that is that he does. But every time I hear it, I go, oh, Reservoir Dogs. That I can never just pull it out of my head. It's a crazy song.

SPEAKER_03

Um, have you ever seen Reservoir Dogs?

unknown

No.

SPEAKER_03

It's on my list of movies to watch. Listener, she's just her mouth is a gape, and she is beside herself with disbelief that I've never seen Reservoir Dogs.

SPEAKER_05

I'm literally gobsmacked. Okay. Uh the next opportunity you have to see this motion picture, please, please do so. And then text me afterwards.

SPEAKER_02

I shall.

SPEAKER_05

And and and you'll know exactly the scene I'm talking about. Okay.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_05

He's like, must we extract this information the hard way?

SPEAKER_04

It's like, oh course.

SPEAKER_05

I get paid by the scar.

SPEAKER_03

I know the look he gives him, just like, huh, you can try.

SPEAKER_05

Ah, now we get the torture scene. Okay, here's what I thought was gonna happen. Knights in front of him, right? Warming up. I'm like, he's going to hit the other guy.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, or I was gonna turn sure. I thought he was gonna turn around and say, You you want to do this, do it yourself. Get your own hands dirty. Something like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

No. Starts going to town on a trip. He took it like an MME fighter. Cut to.

SPEAKER_03

Back to scene 24.

SPEAKER_05

Edith um goes to Elfwen, and she at first she's like, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

SPEAKER_03

Don't be dead, don't be dead, don't be dead, don't be dead, don't be dead, don't be dead, don't be dead.

SPEAKER_05

Uh shake and call.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? How good? CPR Annie. Oh good. She's breathing. Yay. Yay. So they scoop her up and they decide they're going to Aylesworth. They're like, fuck it, we're out of here. We're gonna go find some medicine. I'm like, well, where you should have been in the first place. Honestly, let's not be stupid. And that's what I again so much time is.

SPEAKER_04

I don't know.

SPEAKER_05

Cut to mommy asking Ed, where'd you son bur'd you send um Balsax son? Balsax son.

SPEAKER_04

And he's like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_05

And uh she's like, listen. I can't making peace with Mercia is better than trying to conquer Mercia, basically. Wait it out, find a match for win, everything will be peaches and cream. And he's like, I've already got a plan.

SPEAKER_03

He had that smug look on his face.

SPEAKER_04

Like, I was like, Okay, I'll think about it.

SPEAKER_05

I don't know why he's got, you know, some sort of cartoon voice, but Because he's cartoonish.

SPEAKER_03

And I love the fact that she says to him that it was foolish and wise when he she she says it was either very foolish or very wise.

SPEAKER_05

It was either. Well, sure. Of course it was. Okay. Well, it could have just been meh. Yeah. Yeah. Just could have been a thing. He then asks about all the kids from Dorwich.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, he yeah, he asks if he if Oot had all the kids.

SPEAKER_05

Oh, right. Oh no, she does. Right. She desks. She goes, Did he get all the kids? She's wondering about the little bastard kid.

SPEAKER_03

Yes. The little bastard boy. Welcome to the bastard club kid. Yeah, Blaze and ID cotters in the mail. You get a free cooler bag just for joining.

SPEAKER_05

They're the guy comes in and he's like, Well, we beat the crap out of him, and he still won't tell us where they were. And he's like, You did what now? And Ed is pissed.

SPEAKER_03

He just walks out and leaves mom standing there wondering what the hell's going on.

SPEAKER_05

But she's looking smirky too. Why? Right, yes. She always looks smirky, though. I think that's sorry. She's got resting smirk face.

SPEAKER_03

Because I think she thinks she knows that maybe Oot brought Little Bastard Boy. Ah, that's right.

SPEAKER_05

So he goes in. Oots in a steel cage, lying in some hay.

SPEAKER_03

Seems that way, yes.

SPEAKER_05

Now, I am upset that Spencer is not here.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_05

For this reason in this episode. The steel cage in our DD game last night.

SPEAKER_02

Oh God. Okay.

SPEAKER_05

There were cages. We were all trapped in cages that were living cages. And, you know, every four turns we had to roll a four, you know, a whatever they call it, save and fortitude save. And if we've rolled badly, our cage squished in on us a little bit. Oh, okay. And I just in my mind I thought about when I saw this cage, I went, Oh, that's what our cages look like. And we just like squish in on us a little, a little. Um, he's looking beat the hell. Swollen, bleeding. Keep this in mind as the day progresses. Okay. One day. I believe this is one day. Okay. Maybe two. Maybe. And basically says, I am so sorry. Right. I did not, you know. Thinking back, I thought about it. I'm like, oh shit. Uh, all I said was get the information. I didn't say beat shit out of you, because, dude, I know you.

SPEAKER_03

Right. You know? And then he gets all cash. He just sits on the floor, legs akimbo, hands up on his knees, thinking, well, right? I just want to you guys.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. Just sit here on the floor with you. Okay, Pastor, youth pastor Tim. Right.

unknown

God.

SPEAKER_03

He grabs a guitar from off-screen that wasn't there a minute ago.

SPEAKER_04

No, not the guitar.

SPEAKER_05

There's nothing worse than somebody playing a guitar at you. Oh.

SPEAKER_03

I wrote a little ditty just about this kind of situation. When you make your friends go to prison and get beat up for the information.

SPEAKER_04

Jesus says, no, no.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Jesus says, oh no.

SPEAKER_05

Anyway, Helm says, uh he acts for you. Oh, yeah. Helm is like, he'll he'll do what you want him to do. Right. Right? Is that what he says? I am so lost. Okay, well. All I have written down is look at me. I am wet. Because he was all bloody.

SPEAKER_01

I am wet.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, and and Edward kind of says, you know, I think both of us are imprisoned by our choices. It's like, oh God. Uh thanks for the therapy, Dr. Katz. Right. That was another youth pastor thing right there. Right after he set down his guitar and tells him he's free to go. Just, all right, yeah, you can go. Have fun. It's been peace out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Good for your self-awareness there, King O. I'm out. He's like, by the way, I am going to try to unify the kingdoms. And he's like, good deal.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. See it. Let me know how that works out for you.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. He's like, go back to the girls and keep them safe. Keep them away from here. Things are gonna get ugly. And then it's like, wait. What? I got fucked up for nothing. Wait.

SPEAKER_04

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_05

Alright. Frida is once again.

SPEAKER_03

What? What's that? Cut to.

SPEAKER_05

Cut to.

SPEAKER_03

Yes. That was the longest scene of the whole show, I think. I can't keep track of my own bit. Yeah. I think I think that was the longest scene in the whole show, was the cell scene.

SPEAKER_05

Mm-hmm. Frida hears the Welsh talking again. They start giving her shit and they pee on her, which is really gross.

SPEAKER_03

Which I was expecting them the first time. So I was really surprised.

SPEAKER_05

I kind of was too, but then when they did it again, I was like, oh, they're definitely gonna pee on her this time.

SPEAKER_03

That's so gross. And then cut to. Cut to again back at scene 24. Um yeah.

SPEAKER_05

The side quest party, which is three of the Final Fantasy, Final Fartasy Panty, and Bowl Cut and Fle fle fle. Right.

SPEAKER_03

Well, no, it's just bowl cut, fla fla fle.

SPEAKER_05

And two of the Final Fantasy parties. Yes. Citric and what's his name?

SPEAKER_03

Citric and and the other guy. Baby oot. Baby oot. That's baby oot. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

They go to the camp and everybody's gone. Poof. And the old lady tells them that Wynn died and they took her to Aylesworth. And I went, oh shit. Oh no, she didn't. Oh, why'd the old lady tell her that? That's just awful.

SPEAKER_03

That was terrible, yes.

SPEAKER_05

She was like, okay. Well, maybe she figured, well, she certainly did by now.

SPEAKER_03

I mean, they tried to take her on horseback and had to carry her, and oh my god, she takes forever.

SPEAKER_04

Oh dear lord.

SPEAKER_03

Back in mercy, and then we cut to the king walking out in his in his maternity robes. And boy, he's got some he has some swagger, he has some shoulder action going from behind there. I thought, oh boy, he's got some definitely got some determination going on here. He do indeed. Dr. Mr. House is walking up.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, and he's like, Oh, you by the way, I let Utrud go, and you can get the fuck out. I don't like you anymore. I do, yeah. Go to Winchester and everything will be chill. Just, you know, fuck off.

SPEAKER_03

I'm gonna unfriend you. We'll be fine.

SPEAKER_05

It's okay right now. Maybe I'll unblock you later. Yes. Um, but for now, don't DM me.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Don't change your account.

SPEAKER_02

And he's like, but I just put myself between you and necessary unpleasantness. Why do I sound like Charles? But it wasn't Riley. Yes.

SPEAKER_05

Charles Nelson Riley on Match Game. Big bottom Linda says, that's not where you put your blank. All right. So here's what I'm gonna say. Wynne has arrived at the gate. Uh, they take her in, tell them to bring healers, they whisk her away. Udrid and Finn. Hang on a second.

SPEAKER_03

He tells Unnamed Guard again, go find every healer in the town and tell no one of this. Now, what is he gonna tell the healers then? And is he gonna tell you make everybody that was in the courtyard that witness this not tell anyone? Well, and not just that, but find all the healers?

SPEAKER_05

All the healers. They might be out and about. Do I leave a note? Uh if they've got a ring doorbell, that'll work, but you know.

SPEAKER_03

But anyway. They'd have a king doorbell. Oot comes walking out, strutting with his not so bloody face anymore. This is where I'm going. Yeah. I said he's looking alright. Yeah. He's not staggering or anything. It's nope. It was magazine poster uh walking through the gateway there in Finn's pissed.

SPEAKER_05

So then Utrit's daughter um is trying to help Father P distribute this grain that Wets' ass brought in on his cart, and everything gets out of control because people just lose their fucking minds. It's like everything it's it's cabbage patch kids all over again. Hey, there's grain over here, it's ticklami elmo. It's people scrabbling under the carts for the it's a mess. And she's and this made me mad.

SPEAKER_04

She's just a girl, so she can't take care of all the so of course Utred had to sweep in.

SPEAKER_03

But she did clock somebody with a bag of grain.

SPEAKER_05

She did indeed, and you know that's because the actress said, Oh fuck no, I ain't going out without a fight. I get to get at least a couple shots in. And they're like, Fine.

SPEAKER_03

I am whatever my name is, daughter of Utred.

SPEAKER_05

Yes. Mom goes, Look, they're listening to Utred.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, but first dangerous. But but first, unnamed guard is watching, and then he goes, he kind of goes, and turns around and goes in, and then the king comes out to watch, and then mommy comes out behind the king, and she's like, Oh, look, see what they do, they listen to him and not to you.

SPEAKER_05

And that's like, bathe him and bring him to me. Yes. And mommy flow him to the floor.

SPEAKER_03

Follow him to the floor.

SPEAKER_05

Okay. So then then then we get another smirk, mom. Yep. But again, resting smirk face. Do you suppose if that actress got Botox, she got it in like the smirk? They're like, okay, go. Smirkles. Smirkles? I just want resting smirk face. Cut to.

SPEAKER_03

Cut to Brita. In the pit again.

SPEAKER_05

Waking up again.

SPEAKER_03

And two years fighting outside.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. And I said, Who the fuck is this guy?

SPEAKER_03

Right? A new Dane warlord walks in, is what I said. He's like, hmm, do this, do that, do this, do that. He looks all about 20 years old.

SPEAKER_05

Yes, I was gonna say he looks like a 20-year-old lead singer from Iron Maiden whose name is escaping me at the moment with the super long hair. And I'm pretty sure that was his real hair. Because it looked like hair.

SPEAKER_03

It was very long and luxurious.

SPEAKER_05

No, it wasn't luxurious. It was long and wispy. Wispy. Wispy. It's kind of wispy anyway. I love a long head of hair, but this was that didn't do it for me. That was just wrong. He's like, I'm looking for brinah. And the Welsh guy goes, What'd he say? I killed her. And you're here.

SPEAKER_04

And from No, you didn't. I didn't, you did not. Not dead yet.

SPEAKER_03

Shut up in it.

SPEAKER_05

Anyway, um, back to Utrud.

SPEAKER_03

Cut to Udred and Edward.

SPEAKER_05

And Edward, basically, Ed is like nudging to Udred going, hey, hey, what about, what about, what about what? I'm just spitballing here.

SPEAKER_03

I'm just I'm just throwing ideas to the wall.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. Think about this. You've got nothing to do now. And I don't really want those other uh dipshits to rule or any of their kin to rule here. They seem to like you. They always like fleh flah. They didn't like red, right?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

So you hang out here for a few years. And then you're free. Again, I promise.

SPEAKER_04

This time is for how old are you now?

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. I mean, in the big scheme of things, this is a cushy gig.

SPEAKER_03

You've been free free how many times and reprisoned how many times?

SPEAKER_05

Right, exactly. Although I'm gonna say this is definitely a fool me once shame on you situation.

SPEAKER_03

And oot's like, eh.

SPEAKER_05

Well, it's a lot like in oh god, it's a real story. The show The Prisoner, in the show The Prisoner, let me just say hot cocoa. And if you have seen the show, you know what I'm talking about. Man would walk into his little condo, see a freshly made cup of hot cocoa, didn't know where it came from, drank it every time, and then woke up someplace different. Yeah, usually in a bad situation. Why does he keep drinking the cocoa? How many times is the cocoa there and it's not like drugged? Anyway.

SPEAKER_03

One in ten. It's a it's it's it's cocoa roulette.

SPEAKER_05

Yes, and basically it's like, what? Me? What the actual vlog? Are you serious?

SPEAKER_03

Right? I'll need to know tomorrow. And I thought that was the end of the episode, but cut two.

SPEAKER_05

Cut two. Pulling baby Bridica out of the well.

SPEAKER_03

Yep.

SPEAKER_05

I guess they don't know each other. Right?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

You're telling me this woman is still pregnant after like lifting logs onto wagons, not having how much time passed. Or water.

SPEAKER_03

How much time has passed? Can't be much because she's not showing that much. Well, she's showing more than I had noticed before. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

But I'm still like, how is she still pregnant?

SPEAKER_05

How is she not miscarried? How tough is this woman?

SPEAKER_04

How tight is her cervix? Because how many kids has she already had?

SPEAKER_03

More than one, yes. No, this is her first, remember? She said because she was cursed not to be able to have children, she had to lift the curse.

SPEAKER_01

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I forgot about it.

SPEAKER_03

And so when C Nut put his seed in her seed held uh, then he nutted.

SPEAKER_05

When C Nut nutted. When he sea nutted. Yeah. I guess this dude, C nut's cousin?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. The one that was in Ireland, and he asked for help earlier in The series and Cena says, nah.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

He lets her take care of the guy there who had been fucking with him.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Fucking with her.

SPEAKER_03

Like putting her is no dummy. She's like, give me your sword. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. No, I'll give you a sword, but not my sword. Not my sword. Right.

SPEAKER_05

Right. She decides to put him in this turn. Which is nice. Sig Trigger, that was his name. Sigtrigger.

SPEAKER_01

Sigger. Sig Trigger.

SPEAKER_05

Oh, but in between here, Outred tells Father P about the offer. And Father P is trying to talk him into it. So he had that scene.

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

SPEAKER_05

And then, cut two. Yep. Brita and Sigtrigger discussing Canute again. And then they talk about Oot. And then he's like, hey, how come Sina didn't come? When we call. And she's like, we had shit to do.

SPEAKER_03

We were busy. That's why the answer machine was on. We weren't screaming. We promise.

SPEAKER_05

They told you to leave a message after the beep, did you? Did you? No? I didn't think so.

SPEAKER_03

And now Breed is gonna get revenge again.

SPEAKER_05

I'm going to get my revenge. But the Danes are gonna hang out in Wales.

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

SPEAKER_05

And rest up, get their hit points back. Father P is taking Stan. Stan. Yeah. Flat Stanley, somewhere to hide. And they're being followed by Well, Grammy, of course. Mom. And she is juft.

SPEAKER_03

It's like, don't just like Don't try to tie the child from me.

SPEAKER_04

And she's like, oh, I had hoped that he'd got out safely. But this next scene cracked me up.

SPEAKER_05

Uhred on horseback in the sunset. Mm-hmm. And all I could hear in the back of my mind is Darling, you've got to let me know. Should I stay or should I go? Anyway. Then we have Edward waiting for Outred. Here's somebody behind him, and it's Mom. She's complaining about him choosing Otrid. And then he goes, but wait. No, she goes, but wait, look what I got.

SPEAKER_03

You must be you must repent for the sins of your mother. Come here, small child. Yes. Now, I thought Edward wanted the children, did he not? He did. But he's smart enough to know that if that child is found out that things will not go well for any of them. Now we know historically that that child does become king eventually. So that's what I was. So yeah, he he knows that if if the word got out that he had a bastard child, someone would kill him.

SPEAKER_05

Okay. The kid?

SPEAKER_03

The kid. Or the king. Oh yeah.

unknown

Well, yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Here's what I will say.

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

SPEAKER_05

Edward goes through a lot of emotions on his face when she shows him that child. It it wouldn't like they would cut back and forth. He never said a word. Like she kept talking, right? And they would cut to him. And it goes from what the fuck? To oh my god, to I really want to hug him. To this is bad. To oh I miss his mom. You know, it's like you could see all of it. And I thought, oh my god, real acting, finally, good boy. Huzzah. But uh, then he's like, go hide him again. Right. Then we get the Monty Python guy running across the field, but this time with his head in a bag. Yes. Um, and he's going to see the king.

SPEAKER_03

Who's praying over a fetish pit of water with a with oddly enough a Celtic cross at the ruins? Are you sure it wasn't a Welsh cross? It might have been a Welsh cross. Yeah, okay. It was probably Welsh cross, but but still, that's all that's there is this ruins. Why is he praying at the the the ruins of somebody? And apparently crucifixes and crosses stay up after all the other stuff falls down. Because it's the second one that's always see the cross from here. You know, it's there it is.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, well, you know they would stand that shit back up.

SPEAKER_03

That's what happens. Yeah, yeah. They would just keep standing that shit back up. And he gives the Welsh King the bag.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Like, here you go.

SPEAKER_04

Present from home. Yeah. I've got the world's worst trick-or-treat bag. Surprise! It's your brother. I didn't know. Utred has decided.

SPEAKER_05

Okay, I'll do it. Finally. Like, if you really want me to, fine. I don't want to do it, but if you want me to. I well, now he had to let him know the next day his face is completely healed. Yes. This man is like an X-Man.

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

SPEAKER_05

It's insane. The swelling's gone down. There's no swelling, no bruising.

SPEAKER_03

It's all that hard living. His body is used to healing quickly.

SPEAKER_05

I guess. Is that how you do it? Is that what Lux Maxing's about? Just beating yourself to a pulp, hoping you're gonna heal better.

SPEAKER_03

Well, he found the case. He's found the case outside the fortress with the uh with the healing potions that you find.

SPEAKER_05

Healing potions. All right. Uh the side quest party gets to Aylesworth. They open the gates.

SPEAKER_03

He calls him Utre to Bed Bath Beyond at that point. Oh, that's right. He's like, Oh, that's a name from another time, or something stupid like that.

SPEAKER_05

Doesn't he say something like that?

SPEAKER_03

Yes, that was a name of it. Uh cut to flood riding up.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, they've gone to Aylesworth. They opened the gates for them.

SPEAKER_03

Now we get his name finally.

SPEAKER_05

Sendrik. Sendrik. Yes. Yes. I said she knew him by name. These other guys have been talking to him, but they don't know who he is.

SPEAKER_03

Ah, could be.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. And then she finally shows a little bit of human interest in the person he is, and she's like, okay, for you. Sure. Sure. Why not? I said, that's a nice touch. That's good customer service right there. Did they leave the gates open at that point? It was nighttime. Yeah. So they didn't get rushed.

SPEAKER_04

It turns out it's much better. It was a miracle.

SPEAKER_05

It's a miracle. Mom's crying happy tears. Everything seems too good. And I'm like, this is where the dragon comes in, swoops through, and right, burns everybody down. And the mom screams and falls from the window. Next season, everybody's celebrating in the tavern, and that's intercut with scenes of mom telling Fled that made Utrud Lord of Mercia, blah, blah, blah.

SPEAKER_03

She is not happy. Yeah, she is not happy with that decision. She's like, well, excuse me? Should have been made. The keeper of Mercia, yes. Yes. Yes. Which could actually happen. Oot might say, you know what? I'm gonna take my men on a side quest. I'm gonna get my little final pharmacy panty out and go. Outra looks fucking scared though. He's like, I'm not so sure about all this. His men are happy they can get paid finally. That's true.

SPEAKER_05

Maybe he can pay us now. Hey! Good, we don't have to call in ice. Yeah. Um so that's it. Normally I ask Mike if we missed anything, but I was ready to tight.

SPEAKER_03

I think we've got everything.

SPEAKER_05

I think we did too. Hey, thank you, listener, for listening. And Spencer, feel better. Let us know you listen. RoyalHighnessPod at gmail.com. Link will be in the description or wherever. Hey, I do want to thank our producer Mike because he will be producing this episode too. Oh still, yes, yes, yes. Thanks, Mike. You're welcome. And the fine folks over at Ingenderse Productions.

SPEAKER_03

My staff of many.

SPEAKER_05

Yes, we can't wait to do it all again next week. And hopefully Spencer will be feeling like he wasn't gargling bees. Um, but until then, love ya. Bye.

SPEAKER_00

Royal Highness is an injured nerves production. It is produced and directed by Mike Began and is available on all podcast networks. The comments and opinions expressed here are those of the hosts and their guests, and are not affiliated in any way with Netflix or the Last Kingdom series. If you would like to contact us, you can do so at RoyalHighnesspod at gmail.com. Thanks for listening. We hope you come back to listen again.