Episode 157 - Cranking the Otters - TLK S5E2

Eileen and Spencer embark on the final season of The Last Kingdom. There is drama aplenty this episode! The gore and humor are pretty prevalent too! Will Yutred survive? What is the ailment of Fled? Will it coat her tongue? Will Stiora hang out underground for a long time? Will Siggy be able to regain his kingdom and his hair? And what of the Roman Ghosts? Otters!? Confused? You won’t be after this chilly episode of Royal Highness!

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This podcast contains adult language and content and is rated 'M' for Mature. Listener discretion is advised.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:16

I didn't have any cookies though.

SPEAKER_10 0:19

Oh my god! They're so good! They're just the best! I'm telling ya! Four in ten minutes. Bang!

SPEAKER_04 0:26

Chocolate chip.

SPEAKER_10 0:28

Chocolate chip, they're the best ones.

SPEAKER_04 0:30

I feel that way about the peanut butter and the uh molasses.

SPEAKER_10 0:34

Now do the molest Snickerdoodle? I could do the snickerdoodle. I would house the four of them in under ten minutes, yes?

SPEAKER_05 0:42

See what you do is you just you take four of them and you pile them on top of each other, and you just eat them all in one go.

SPEAKER_04 0:49

No!

SPEAKER_10 0:50

No!

SPEAKER_04 0:50

Tell me you don't eat the with the frosting in between.

SPEAKER_08 0:54

Like a giant It's like a double cookie glove sandwich. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Did you hear what he just said?

SPEAKER_05 1:01

Something about frosting. I need to know more.

SPEAKER_10 1:05

Frosting in between each make it like a tiny cake. Make layers with filling.

SPEAKER_03 1:13

I wonder if I'm so you got cookie, Nutella, cookie, peanut butter, cookie, marshmallow cream.

SPEAKER_08 1:25

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 1:26

Cookie, in a stack, yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:31

Insulin. Insulin.

SPEAKER_05 1:38

Oh, oh, oh, diabetes.

SPEAKER_10 1:42

Oh man. Don't mess with me, man. I um I decided to take an extra pull because it's so we do the show. Yeah. Holly.

SPEAKER_09 1:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_10 1:55

Hang on, I gotta wipe the girls off my face. Hello and welcome to the royal. I just shut down.

SPEAKER_05 2:15

Hello and welcome to Royal You Pierre.

SPEAKER_10 2:18

I think I've been corrupted. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 2:20

We need to reboot Eileen.

SPEAKER_10 2:22

Oh, damn it. Hello. And welcome to the Royal Highness podcast, where sometimes we watch George Martin shows for the first time while we're enhanced with cannabis products, and then we talk about them while we're still enhanced with cannabis products. But nowadays we're watching The Last Kingdom on Netflix, and we talk about that instead of the infinite darkness. Hello, Spencer. Hello, Eileen. Uh Last Kingdom season five, episode two, titled Episode. That's correct. Netflix tells us a betrayal at Effer. I can't I still Earf? Efferwitch. How do they say this? Efferwitch? Efferwitch. Yeah. Efferwitch. Efferwitch? Efferwitch. A betrayal at Efferwitch sends Siggy Man in search of aid. While Udrid begs Effla Vla Vla for military support she cannot give. Edward meets a new ally. And she's cute. Just gonna put that out there. She gives me real uh young Sander Bullock vibes. But anyway.

SPEAKER_05 3:29

Yeah, that was interesting, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_10 3:32

Yeah, it was. Okay. We are again promised violence, nud Okay, we're promised violence, language, nudity, and gore, which is the reverse of what we've been getting. Well, we got it all. We did. Did we get gore? We got heavy headings. Oh, that's right. Never mind. Now there was okay. Lots of threats being slipped. Yes, yes, but lots of slurching. I forgot. Some really horrible splurching, honestly. But okay, so usually I watch the show enhanced, and then immediately afterwards we do this. Now, today was an unusual circumstance, and I had a break in between. Three hours, four hours. So I'm rediscovering this show with you.

SPEAKER_05 4:19

I have taken pretty decent notes today. Okay. Awesome. Um even though I knew you were uh going to be able to join us, I still did my duty.

SPEAKER_09 4:32

Yay.

SPEAKER_05 4:33

I see duty. You did say duty. And uh I have to say that if if what was it now in which order did you say violence, gore?

SPEAKER_10 4:43

Uh we're promised violence, language, nudity, and gore.

SPEAKER_05 4:51

Okay. So again, it's shits and turds, uh, for whatever reason, and an arsling. Uh that's that's not changing. We get turd all the time.

SPEAKER_10 4:59

Yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_05 5:00

But the nudity tonight was the single worst instance of nudity that I can recall.

SPEAKER_10 5:08

No.

SPEAKER_05 5:09

Because it was I missed it.

SPEAKER_10 5:12

I missed it because I was looking at my notes and I I kind of caught a glimpse of it out of the corner of my eye. Watch, I have a screen above a screen, and so I'm typing on the lower screen and watching on the upper screen. And so uh I was I missed the um I'm guessing uh was nasty.

SPEAKER_05 5:36

It was well, what did I type in my notes here? Oh dear, that's awful.

SPEAKER_10 5:42

Well, we'll get we'll we'll we'll get to that.

SPEAKER_05 5:44

So that's scene six for those of you who want to skip ahead.

SPEAKER_10 5:49

Oof dah, I don't know that we set this up as in uh uh scenes.

SPEAKER_03 5:53

So does anybody have any better titles for this episode?

SPEAKER_01 5:56

I had six. This is where the turns follow the turns. Follow the turns to Everwitch.

SPEAKER_09 6:03

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05 6:04

I don't think that's good for the algorithm. We shouldn't say follow the turns. Follow the butt biscuits to Eforwitch. Follow me. Oh turns again. I'll have to think about it. We'll come up with something, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_03 6:17

I said I wish go ahead, Mike. Destiny is for arslings, and it's holy water.

SPEAKER_08 6:24

Destiny is for arsings. It's holy water. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 6:27

It's pretty good. I noticed they didn't shake hands after that.

SPEAKER_08 6:31

That's a I just said nope. I don't know if you remember that. That was a good I don't want it!

SPEAKER_05 6:39

I did that happened. We had a Jon Snow moment in this episode.

SPEAKER_08 6:45

Oh dear God, the puberty, dear lord.

SPEAKER_05 6:50

There was and these kids are older than than that, actually. Uh-huh. I think. What? Puberty? I think they're older than puberty. I think they're supposed to be a little older than that.

SPEAKER_10 7:01

I don't know. In this day and age, I'm thinking they're like 15 or 16.

SPEAKER_05 7:05

Wow, who the fuck knows?

SPEAKER_10 7:07

Doing a little over-the-clothes stuff, anyway. But he is Utred, blah blah blah. Rog has shown up at Sagan Stear's place, and he's secretly working with Brida and plotting against them. Uh I have a question here.

SPEAKER_05 7:25

Yes.

SPEAKER_10 7:26

How does Utred know this?

SPEAKER_05 7:29

Does he know this? He's not no, he's the narrator.

SPEAKER_10 7:33

He's the narrator, but he can't be because he doesn't know that at this point. And he's narrating it as himself. It's uh it's a it's uh No, no, no, no, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_05 7:45

He no I think that is no okay. Let me finish a phrase before you tell me no.

SPEAKER_10 7:54

Jesus Christ. If you're gonna defend this, if you're gonna defend it, I'm gonna just keep saying it, but go on, go on, I'll be.

SPEAKER_05 8:00

He has read the recap for literally every episode of this program, and this is the one that you're gonna get your tit in a ringer about. He's so much unknown shit has happened. He was a slave on a ship in Iceland for God knows how many years, and shit was happening around him, and he narrated that, and you didn't say a fucking word. But then Brita gets a hold of a out of Efrowich, and you're like, how can he possibly know? Well, I'll tell you what. Oh god. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 8:37

I might have gone over the top. I'm broken. I broke it. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 8:46

Oh shit. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_05 8:51

Yes, he's the n he's the narrator. That's what he does. It's the conceit of the program. Maybe it's because he's telling this tale after so wrong. He's telling the tale after the fact in chunks, presumably. And so this is the segment where he knows. Yeah, he just knows afterwards that this is what happens. Not the gospel. Because he doesn't have three guys who wrote a similar story. Destiny is balls. Oh God. Are you good? Are you okay? I'm sorry. I went over the top.

SPEAKER_09 9:34

Oh, that was awesome. Okay.

SPEAKER_10 9:37

Okay. Uh, Fled is in Romkova, Ramchada visiting and uh Sinleif. Sinlef. Kinlef. Kinlef and Wynn are doing the flirty flirty. Um turns out now they have a new whole holy guy who's a gambler and a drinker. Breda has come to the backpack with her daughter, who is a seer. And a possessed one. Vibka. Yeah, we get a name, Vibek, Vivek. Vibeka.

SPEAKER_05 10:09

Vivekah, yeah, which I didn't need. Uh also, um Utrud lost his manhood, and Brida's taking her books towards. Oh, that's where it's banned. Awie in the crunch region. Oh no.

SPEAKER_10 10:22

Yeah, all gone.

SPEAKER_05 10:26

Have your pet spade or noonard.

SPEAKER_10 10:31

Why did this remind you of Bob Barker?

SPEAKER_05 10:34

Anytime genitals get removed, that's what I think of is Bob Barker. It's like uh draw a direct line.

SPEAKER_10 10:40

That was so on the nose that uh that tells you how far gone I am. Because immediately after this, I'm going to bed.

SPEAKER_05 10:51

So we hear tons of people screaming and Brita yelling, like, hey, Stora, where are you? And then this bald guy goes upstairs and he starts looting the silver off a table and finds a glass and just drinks it.

SPEAKER_10 11:07

Why would you do that? It could have been anything. Because it was not a clear glass.

SPEAKER_05 11:13

No, you have no idea what's in there. He smells it. It could have been down the hatch. Oh no.

SPEAKER_10 11:19

And horse urine for their pores. I'm sorry, what? I don't know. They did weird shit back then.

SPEAKER_06 11:27

Oh god, that's horrible.

SPEAKER_10 11:29

Take the urine of one stallion, mix it with the semen of one young otter. Stir under the floor. Who's gonna go jerk off the otters this way? I imagine that's what the spike guy does on this off season.

SPEAKER_05 11:47

Well, we haven't had a war in quite some time. And rather than continue polishing clean spikes, they sent me out into the river to jerk off the otters for the skin care the ladies like to use. It's not such a bad job once you get used to it. The porn's weird. The otters seem to like it. They're always holding hands, makes me think that I'm doing it wrong.

SPEAKER_08 12:10

Oh god.

SPEAKER_05 12:13

At least they throw it on their back so I have an easy access, you know. Do we have to talk about my job?

SPEAKER_02 12:21

Alright.

SPEAKER_05 12:23

So there's this deaf girl underneath some some the deaf girl is laying on the bed underneath some blankets, and bald guy finds finds her, and then Stiora jumps out and throttles him and they kill the shit out of him.

SPEAKER_10 12:35

Is it the deaf girl who comes through in the clutch? Is she the one that stabs him?

SPEAKER_05 12:40

Well, yeah, because well initially, you know, Stiora gets him around the neck, and then she gets a dagger and just punctures the ever-loving shit out of this dude.

SPEAKER_10 12:49

This this girl has got some rage bottled up.

unknown 12:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 12:53

Let me tell you what. Oof. Uh we go back outside, and uh Siggy is monkey in the middle battle style.

SPEAKER_05 13:02

Yeah. Instead of all attacking at once, they take turns because that's smart.

SPEAKER_10 13:08

It's so weird, and then Brido whispers something to her freaky little daughter. She's doesn't she say go play or something?

SPEAKER_05 13:15

Yeah, like this is the time. There's burning spears and blood and swords, and you should go run along, you know.

SPEAKER_10 13:25

Go run along. Go go play marbles or something. What do they play back then? I have to go find the autumn man. The what man?

SPEAKER_05 13:33

The otter man has all the lotions. Anyway.

SPEAKER_02 13:41

The otter man. Okay, guys.

SPEAKER_05 13:43

At one point when I wrote, What? Because when she said Vivica's told to go play, I just just what? And then uh Siggy's like fighting these dudes off, and then they get the priest and they chop his fucking head off and throw it at Siggy, and they're like, hey, stop. So he stops.

SPEAKER_10 13:59

But wait a second. Before that, what yeah, you have to talk about you know me and heads rolling, right? You know my whole thing with that. And having that is like this is why I have kept myself in the lower middle class, so I never have to face a guillotine. It is my, you know, as we always say, still better than Alzheimer's. But if I had to choose, that would be my least favorite way to go.

SPEAKER_05 14:26

Anyway, I find it strange. The last person that was beheaded with a guillotine was in 1976. Isn't that wild? Yes.

SPEAKER_10 14:36

Well, apparently we've brought back this the firing squad, so my guess is that's he's decided that's how he wants to go because honestly, it is the fastest. I'm not kidding.

SPEAKER_05 14:47

Who are we talking about? Keg's breath here?

SPEAKER_10 14:49

I'm not talking about anybody, my friend. So you know my thing with heads, right? Yeah, heads getting chopped off, and this was a bad cutoff. This was this took two whacks.

SPEAKER_05 15:02

This is this is a feed on Greyjoy beheading. Yeah, this is an ugly one.

SPEAKER_10 15:07

Yeah, that's not a good, that's not a good clean. Oh man. Oop, nope. So then Rog's like, hey man, you gotta yield. So he does.

SPEAKER_05 15:18

And then he gets kicked in the nards, and that's the thing that undoes him. Come on, dude. Now come you're not wearing a cup.

unknown 15:26

What?

SPEAKER_10 15:27

What would they use? I'm guessing uh it's like some sort of cod peas covered, and it's otter zoom in.

SPEAKER_05 15:34

Yeah, coconuts. They use coconuts. Coconuts. Or you go two empty hours of coconuts, and you're using the one to hold your nuts up. Yeah. So Rog says he'll go find Styora, and then Brita starts chopping off Siggy's hair.

SPEAKER_08 15:55

Uh, yeah, it's a bad thing.

SPEAKER_05 15:57

Did they get the note that I thought that they were twins? Is that why he's getting his hair cut? So I'm not confused anymore by the similarity between Rog Rognvalder. Just call him Rog. Rogger Rog. Siggy. Is it Rog or Raj?

SPEAKER_10 16:12

It's I'm calling him Rog with a hard G.

SPEAKER_05 16:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_10 16:16

Um, mostly because I think it's pronounced Ragnarger or whatever, not Rajnarger.

SPEAKER_05 16:24

I don't even think they pronounced the G. I think it's just Ronvalder.

SPEAKER_10 16:28

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 16:29

I don't want to call him. I call them Rumspringer. Rumspringer. Okay, now see that's thinking, yeah.

SPEAKER_10 16:36

Hmm.

SPEAKER_05 16:37

You did kind of go a little personal. I just type Rog. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 16:42

I do too. Rog. Capital R, though. Uh he's gonna go find Stiora. Uh Breed is tormenting Siggy, and then the daughter comes up to watch. She takes off his hair and gives it to the daughter, I'm guessing. Oh, that must be what she adds to the horse year and the other semen.

SPEAKER_05 17:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 17:01

Is the hair of a dude.

SPEAKER_05 17:04

I'm really repulsed by that idea, but okay.

SPEAKER_10 17:09

Uh now the Steora and the Deaf Girl are hiding. Rog's looking for them.

SPEAKER_05 17:15

They're kind of looking.

SPEAKER_10 17:18

We get a Scooby-Doo across the hallways a couple of turns, and then she decides she's gonna save more ladies. They spot each other across the hallway. Instead of just fucking the fuck off and possibly leaving them to I don't know, I don't know that they at all get I don't know. But anyway, she takes them with her.

SPEAKER_05 17:44

Is there an off to which they can fuck though? Because it looks like he's right in the middle of an open plan office.

SPEAKER_09 17:51

So just going between cubicles.

SPEAKER_05 17:54

Yeah. Are you here?

SPEAKER_09 17:55

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05 17:56

You here? Are you in here?

SPEAKER_09 17:59

And meanwhile, they're bitly bitdly bitly around the back. I heard that sound in my head. Oh my god. Did you?

SPEAKER_05 18:09

Yes. And then it one biddly is too slowly. She blunky blunky blunks. And then uh Rob goes, hey you! And uh everyone just goes down this surprising escape hatch that leads. That's just right there. It just happens to be.

SPEAKER_03 18:23

Wouldn't you check check the hatch first? And weren't they on the second floor?

SPEAKER_05 18:29

Not at that point, no. They started on the second floor. Okay, I was like, Because Jorah and the deaf girl escaped the second floor to come downstairs, which is sensible because you can't go upper. And then we're losing Eileen rapidly. And they go down into the open floor plan office, and that's when Rog comes in and the rest is history. And they go down the hatch to the hole. The suey is. It's the suey is. Yeah, it's the the one end of of the poop trail.

SPEAKER_10 19:07

Of the poop shoot, correct.

SPEAKER_05 19:09

I didn't want to say it.

SPEAKER_10 19:11

Stior and the deaf girl was my favorite comedy on Thursday night. Last CTV.

SPEAKER_05 19:18

Stior and the Deaf Girl next week for a very special episode. When they escape into a hole in the floor. Into poop, basically. Yeah, or turds, if you prefer.

SPEAKER_10 19:31

Oh, turds, as you will. And as she's looking out the storm drain, she we get a very horror movie flop drag. Quick, like where the body just goes and it's staring at her, and then the really fast just I didn't like that. And that's followed by the Faroeese Diddy.

SPEAKER_05 19:59

Which I promptly skipped. I think we should I'm gonna next week when I watch the program, I'm going to mute this and put Baltimora's uh Tarzan boy. I do it is better. You will know when you hear it.

SPEAKER_10 20:29

I'm unsure.

SPEAKER_05 20:31

But Brita keeps uh yelling about fine and stiora. Siggy's got his new haircut, which is delightful. And in order to get him to show fealty to her, he tells she tells Rog to kill his brother. So he washes his head for a while. And then after a couple of minutes of the well, not a couple of minutes, about 20 seconds.

SPEAKER_10 20:55

Wait, wait, wait.

SPEAKER_05 20:56

Yes, that's hello.

SPEAKER_10 20:57

Why that way?

SPEAKER_05 20:59

Why drowning?

SPEAKER_10 21:00

Noval Hollow that way? Because he's not dying in battle of some sort?

SPEAKER_05 21:04

I think so.

SPEAKER_10 21:05

He's not going down without a fight, that's for sure.

unknown 21:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 21:10

And Rog is Rog is going, ah I don't know why he started yelling.

SPEAKER_10 21:15

Because he doesn't want to do it. He's gotta get it out. He's gotta get out his emotions.

SPEAKER_05 21:21

Well, Brita pulls them both away from the bucket, and it was in fact a loyalty test.

SPEAKER_10 21:26

Here's what I'm gonna say.

SPEAKER_05 21:28

Yes.

SPEAKER_10 21:28

Don't fuck around. Right? She should have just killed him right there.

SPEAKER_05 21:34

Yeah, because then he's gonna be alive to come back and kill her somehow.

SPEAKER_10 21:37

Correct. Just like they should have like like let her give birth to the baby, maybe raise it up, whatever, and then just off with her, right? Who cares? That's just how they lived back then. That was just every other thing that they've ever done. Unless it's a named character. Just immediately pfft asked.

SPEAKER_05 22:02

Right. That's right. Even if you had what we would assume to be plot armor, no, you fucking die.

SPEAKER_07 22:08

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_10 22:09

Yeah, Oberon.

SPEAKER_02 22:10

Man, did not see that coming.

SPEAKER_05 22:13

Oh my god, what did you do? Did you see that coming? All he saw was thumbs. Still one of the goriest things I've ever seen in a TV show.

SPEAKER_10 22:27

I looked away.

SPEAKER_05 22:28

I had to watch.

SPEAKER_10 22:29

I still haven't seen it.

SPEAKER_05 22:30

I had to watch because I remember reading Pedro Pasqual talking about the day that they filmed that, and he said that they were doing this extraordinary fight scene at the end of it. The guy had to get on him and press his thumbs into his skull. And instead he had those tubes on his thumbs that had the blood coming through them, and it was cool. And he's like, I was just laying there thinking, it's so hot here. Because they filmed those things outside in Spain. And he's like, it's so hot. And then he's got these tubes filled with cold fake blood. And I'm just like, oh, it's so relaxing. The rest of us are going, No, don't kill him, my precious. And so I just laid there on the on the patio in this lovely place taking a nap, covered in fake blood. And I just thought, I'm gonna see how they do this. And sure enough, it was awesome. But I hated it because I liked him a lot.

SPEAKER_10 23:29

I did I did as well. It was my first time. Remember that show? That was a fun show. That was a good show. Remember Game of Thrones? That was a good show. Okay. She's gonna let Siggy go. Uh, he's gotta go find Utred, right? And she probably she promises, well, you know, what go to that? That uh she won't she'll save Stioro once she's found, but only if he brings her Utred. Yeah, this girl's got a grudge, man.

SPEAKER_05 23:56

Yeah. And then he's just gonna like walk to Romkova. Is that how that works?

SPEAKER_10 24:02

Apparently, because that's what he starts doing.

SPEAKER_05 24:04

Couldn't he have gone walking? Let me grab a horse real quick.

SPEAKER_10 24:07

Hang on, let's just put this out there.

SPEAKER_05 24:09

It works. I mean Can I get can I get my keys?

SPEAKER_10 24:12

In that vast land of lands, they find one another on exactly the same fucking road. Is there only one? I doubt there's just one fucking. I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_05 24:26

I mean, it's the road that runs. There's a road actually that runs from southern England all the way up to Scotland. It's one road. It's the Roman road. The A1.

SPEAKER_10 24:36

But there were no others, there were no side roads at all.

SPEAKER_05 24:40

I'm sure there were. Anyway, it was really spooky night when they when he left, too.

SPEAKER_10 24:45

Yeah, it was it was like there was a lot of horror movie. I wonder if this was a different director. It was Tim Burton. Like was this the October episode? I don't know. This because it did have lots of spooky spooks in it.

SPEAKER_05 24:59

Oh if it were a Tim Burton joint, uh Helena Bottom Carter would have been in the episode somehow, and she was not, so that didn't happen.

SPEAKER_10 25:10

Who was the girl? I want to say Ocean. That's not right. Ocea! Isn't she the one that did the Helena Bottom Carter thing?

SPEAKER_05 25:18

So we go to Run Cova.

SPEAKER_10 25:21

Run corn. It's now modern-day Runcorn.

SPEAKER_05 25:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 25:26

It's so pleasant to say.

SPEAKER_05 25:28

I don't like it.

SPEAKER_10 25:29

And it's snow and it's cold, and they're still waiting for Brita to get there, and Udrid's unhappy, and he's watching young Utrid be cared for by Edith. And Edith's like, yeah, it's gonna be great. It's gonna be fine. And Utrid's like, what do I say to him? Your dick's gone. Right?

SPEAKER_05 25:51

I know, Dad. Thanks.

SPEAKER_10 25:53

Right? I'm saying, hey Utred, how about you're you're still a cool kid and that loves you? Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_05 26:02

Tell him you're still he's still your son. Edith is right. That's yeah, she is. That's what she's saying. But what it what it would have been, I mean, how do you go about that? It's like, son, you're awake. Wanna compare dicks? Oh, oh I'm sorry. I win. And the good news At least you're still alive, huh?

SPEAKER_10 26:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 26:24

Scouts are returning. No one has seen anything. Yep. That's that.

SPEAKER_10 26:29

Richard's very confused at this point. Yeah. All the confused. It's emotional as well. Okay, we're back to Brita. Checking all the girls that could possibly be Stiora. Now she doesn't know what Steora looks like, right?

SPEAKER_05 26:44

I thought she did, but apparently not.

unknown 26:47

I guess.

SPEAKER_05 26:48

Or no, she may actually just be having them out there so they can tell her where Steora is. Although, how would they know? No, they've been in the courtyard.

SPEAKER_10 26:56

No, bring no, she says, bring me all the girls who could possibly be Stiora.

SPEAKER_05 27:01

Oh, then she's ignorant of her appearance. Cool.

SPEAKER_10 27:04

No, I think. I don't know. Anyway. Yeah. So she really, really, really she makes her these girls get on their knees and says, You're gonna stay like that till Steora comes out.

SPEAKER_07 27:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 27:14

And she almost gives in, and then the deaf girl goes, signs to her, you can't fucking fucking leave. And she comes up.

SPEAKER_05 27:23

She didn't do the finger and the fist gesture like you did. You can't fucking leave. She doesn't initially. Cut to the guards. Well, Finn and first says, everyone stay on your stay on your positions, you piss and shit where you're. Oh. That's nice. I didn't see that. Oh. You probably typing.

SPEAKER_10 27:51

Oh, we see CN and Wynn flirting and making out. That was gross.

SPEAKER_05 27:56

Yeah. Behind a shed. And then Utrud's like gazing off the dock, like all defensive.

SPEAKER_10 28:04

Still, still just pining over Utrud's dick.

SPEAKER_05 28:10

And now it's not fair anymore. Bold Boldcott runs up and he's like, dude, Eprawitch has been fucked. And Utrid's like, well, we gotta go. Now let's go. Get on the horse. Get your ass to Eprawitch. And then the worst thing in the episode. Here's our nudity.

SPEAKER_10 28:32

Is this what you were talking about? Yeah. So apparently flu flu fle has some awful awful awful breast cancer, I would say.

SPEAKER_05 28:46

Yes.

SPEAKER_10 28:46

She has mastized to mastaze too all all the ways.

SPEAKER_05 28:52

It's not just cancer anymore. It's like shit, gooey. Well, Edith is like screaming. She's like, Do you mind if I look at it? And she's like, sure, look at it. Oh, this is oh dear. And I'm like, what's going on? I don't want to see it. I don't want to see it. And normally look at it. Normally it's like, okay, there's a titty. I'm looking. Well, I'm looking.

SPEAKER_02 29:22

Me too.

SPEAKER_05 29:23

Unfortunately, this one was purple.

SPEAKER_02 29:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 29:26

And it was awful. And that's why I typed, oh dear, that's awful. And Alpha Fled goes, have you seen any have you ever seen anything like this? And Edith goes, not on it. No. Fled goes, finish what you were gonna say. You were gonna say, not on anyone who was alive. And he was like, You bet your ass I was. You're dead. You're going to die. Oh god. I'm very sad. Wait, wait, wait, wait. It's awful. It was the worst, it was the worst nipple I've ever seen.

SPEAKER_10 29:57

Now I'm weirdly curious. Don't go back and look. Oh, okay. So at this point, Fled decides that she needs to make sure everything is in place before she dies, right? And Edith's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Well, maybe think about, you know, family and doing things you love and giving people hugs. And she's like, nope, no time.

SPEAKER_05 30:21

So sensibly, because she doesn't have time for I didn't get time to bleed. Very, very Jesse the body ventura there.

SPEAKER_10 30:28

So Edith invites Utrud in, and Utred is arguing with her because he wants men, and she won't give them to him because she's gotta figure this shit out. And if anything leaks about her getting, you know, the boob cancer.

SPEAKER_05 30:48

Well, she's just straight up at this point dying. I don't even know that right. Yeah. Right.

SPEAKER_10 30:52

They're just saying she's dying. They she's given her like three to four months, from what I can tell, from where we are for winter. She says she won't see spring. Say three to four months. She's like, No, I gotta manage my guys here. You can't have any of them. I need them to protect me in case shit goes down.

SPEAKER_05 31:09

Yeah, we have to worry about the succession. And so you're kind of like, well, she doesn't tell him that.

SPEAKER_10 31:14

She doesn't tell him that. She just I just need my guys, right? Because she doesn't want him distracted in battle. Fuck you! No, tell him why, bitch.

SPEAKER_05 31:28

Yeah, he's a reasonable fella.

SPEAKER_10 31:30

He is. I think it's what would he do different, right? Well he fight for her harder.

SPEAKER_05 31:36

Uh yeah. He would do he would do the things correctly. Well, anyway, it um doesn't guys they do yell at each other though, and it's kind of ugly. He's like, What the fuck is wrong with you? And she's like, You're kind of a dick still.

SPEAKER_10 31:52

And it's like Then Bull Cut does this stupid shit talking to her about her illness, and he's like, That was right not to tell Udrid, because he would have had to fight broken hearted, as you know, we're all brokenhearted, dude. And she's like, Daddy did it, so can I.

SPEAKER_05 32:10

I think that was what happened.

SPEAKER_10 32:12

Huh. Uh then Utrud puts pounding in the Great Hall, and the final pharmacy panty comes in.

SPEAKER_05 32:19

They're like, 12?

SPEAKER_10 32:21

Excuse me? Yeah. Why isn't uh Ethel flood coming through on this? Nope, nobody knows. Anyway, nobody knows. Then Stan wants to fight.

SPEAKER_05 32:32

Yeah, he wants in on the action.

SPEAKER_10 32:35

Even though I'm gonna go.

SPEAKER_05 32:39

Oh god, he's done more than Bran. He's done more Bran. Oh my god. Oh my fuck, Bran. No, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_10 32:48

It's the bowl cut, it's the severe bowl cut that's giving me d just creepy Bran vibes.

SPEAKER_05 32:58

He's not Bran. Bran sucks so much that he he is like a a charisma black hole. Ethelstan is charmed.

SPEAKER_10 33:08

Then he is Finkelman.

SPEAKER_05 33:10

Who is that?

SPEAKER_10 33:11

Isn't that Big Bang Theory? Isn't that no, who's the um I don't know. I say Finkelman. I don't know what you're talking about. Oh my god. This is embarrassing. I don't know. The guy who lives with his mother.

SPEAKER_05 33:32

I don't know what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_10 33:34

Big Bang Theory.

SPEAKER_05 33:36

I've never watched a single episode of Big Bang Theory.

SPEAKER_10 33:39

What?

SPEAKER_05 33:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 33:41

Holy fuck! How does that happen? Even just like sitting in a doctor's waiting room.

SPEAKER_05 33:47

Well, I don't go to the doctor. That's probably part of the problem. Oh goodness. That would be Stuart.

SPEAKER_10 33:54

Stuart? Yeah. Is it?

SPEAKER_03 33:56

Oh, he's on the bulk. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah, yeah. Um, yeah. Um something skipping astronaut.

SPEAKER_10 34:05

Yes. But he's got the white thing.

SPEAKER_03 34:08

Yeah. Anyway, moving on.

SPEAKER_10 34:09

Anyway. Wow, so many people. Tens of people are shouting at there. They're like, just fucking Google it already, you fucking losers. Let me let me fucking Google that for you, Einstein.

SPEAKER_04 34:24

I'm sorry, I've not been helping.

SPEAKER_10 34:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 34:32

So he tells Ethelstan, Utrid tells Ethelstan he gets a faster horse. If there's any trouble, he's to ride away. And at that moment, Ethelstan became his son because Udrid got his dick cut off. I didn't write that in my notes, but that's what I was thinking.

SPEAKER_08 34:50

Oh, that sucks for Udrid.

SPEAKER_05 34:53

Do you think I might be right about that, though?

SPEAKER_10 34:56

But hasn't he been charged with keeping Stan safe?

SPEAKER_05 34:59

Yeah, but he never like put his hand lovingly on his face, so far as we know. He's probably worried about them both. Anyway, then we get a Edward Beard jump scare. Oh, God Beard.

SPEAKER_10 35:10

He is looking manlier and manlier in every episode. I just think.

SPEAKER_05 35:14

Beardier and beardier.

SPEAKER_10 35:16

He is. They found out what's happened, and they're sending 300 soldiers north to be under uh fla fla fla's command, right?

SPEAKER_05 35:25

Yes. But Ethelhelm is like, no, I'm evil. And Perlig and Edward are like, eat my shit. Try and I'll be evil elsewhere. So he leaves, and Pearling's like, you know what? He wants you to fuck shit up so he can you can ask him for money because you're not in his pocket already. And Edward's like, yeah. I'm like, why didn't he get rid of him? And I and that's answered actually later because it's something I hadn't considered. He's related, technically. Who is? Yeah, I'm in-law.

SPEAKER_10 36:03

Stan?

SPEAKER_05 36:03

No. Oh Helm. Yes.

SPEAKER_10 36:05

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes. Because his daughter is married to Edward, technically.

SPEAKER_05 36:09

Yeah, for all the good she's been doing.

SPEAKER_10 36:11

Gave him a kid, yes?

SPEAKER_05 36:13

Uh a sort.

SPEAKER_10 36:15

Which kid was that?

SPEAKER_05 36:17

The one that was practicing archery in the courtyard so poorly. That that uh Stan? No, the other kid. I don't even know his name. It's how unimportant he is. And Ethel Ethelhelm is like, this is what happens when a child spends too much time with his mother. He can't do fuck all. Because you can hear him, he's firing arrows, you just hear clank, clank, clank instead of because he's missing targets, which pres yeah, he's the targets are like six inches away. Dick what I did, grandpa! Shut the bow. Stay away from your mother. I'll give you money. Would you like some money, child?

SPEAKER_10 36:54

Dear Lord, where are we? Ah, Edward uh sends father pee out to see what's what.

SPEAKER_03 37:02

That would be Ethelweird.

unknown 37:03

Ethel.

SPEAKER_03 37:04

What's that? Okay, Ethelweird, yeah. Ethel weird. It's no wonder.

unknown 37:07

Ethel weird.

SPEAKER_03 37:09

Oldcut is weird. No, Ethelweird is the son. That was shooting arrow. That's right.

SPEAKER_05 37:16

The piss poor archer.

SPEAKER_03 37:18

Yes. The next scene is he told his spy last week to go spread the word about Ethelweird being a good fella.

SPEAKER_05 37:24

Yeah. And here we see House and his spy again telling his spy to go to the border towns and not help Utred at all.

SPEAKER_10 37:35

And say it's from Edward. Edward says, Don't do this. This scene, this scene is every high school breakup ever. Fled comes out to say goodbye, and Utred is a dick.

SPEAKER_05 37:50

I will haunt you for the rest of your life.

SPEAKER_10 37:52

If I die, I'm going to haunt you. See, we had ghosts. Yeah. Scooby-Doo. Yoink's. Do we have sandwiches? Very haunted. Scooby's necks.

SPEAKER_07 38:05

Like yoink, dude!

SPEAKER_10 38:07

So that was good. Thanks. I cannot recall what either Velma or the other one after. Jinkies like.

SPEAKER_03 38:20

And I would have gotten away from it if it wasn't for you, meddling you kids.

SPEAKER_02 38:25

Medlin kids.

SPEAKER_05 38:26

That pothead over there, he didn't do anything. Anyway. Um except make that sound when he runs, which is running after a sandwich as fast as he can.

SPEAKER_10 38:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 38:40

So Utrid's really mad at Fled, and he's being all cold and shit, and they stomple off. And Finn wants to come back.

SPEAKER_10 38:47

Edith tries to get yeah, Edith tries to get Finn to agree to make Utrid come back. And then Bitch tells him about Fled's illness. Oh my god. She promised Flev Le Vlad that she wouldn't, that she's dying, and that that's why she can't give him any men, and there's gonna be trouble in Mercia, and you can tell Finn this is eating him up, knowing this and not being able to tell Utrid.

SPEAKER_05 39:10

Just from the second he knows. I've never lied to him. Well, how does one loy?

SPEAKER_10 39:16

What? Well Utrid is beside Udrid and he's crying. And then Finn comes in and they talk about getting back to the fighting. Uh oh, fine. And then Utrid leaves a necklace with Utrid. Is this the Thor's hammer thing?

SPEAKER_05 39:30

I believe so. I just wrote a token.

SPEAKER_10 39:35

Okay. And swears he will return.

SPEAKER_05 39:38

I also wrote emotive vocalizations continue.

SPEAKER_10 39:42

Dramatic horse mounting music swells. That is Oh no. Why did the record player slow down?

SPEAKER_05 39:53

Because I forgot to crank it. Sorry, I was busy cranking the otters instead. Oh, you know me. I tell you what. That guy got some work tonight. Anyway. We got to Winchester where Edward is holding court.

SPEAKER_10 40:09

Well, first we just see Fled having a good cry herself.

SPEAKER_05 40:12

Oh, she's pissy. Yeah. Fair enough. We'll get more from her in a minute.

SPEAKER_10 40:16

She's dying. I mean, you know. Still better than Alzheimer's, but again.

SPEAKER_05 40:20

Yeah, well, I don't know. Rotten, rotten chest is probably not the way to go.

SPEAKER_10 40:25

I'm. You know what, dude? I will fight you.

SPEAKER_05 40:29

I don't want to go anyway.

SPEAKER_10 40:31

I don't want to go either. Just say him. If I had to choose, I'm going to choose the one that takes less time.

SPEAKER_05 40:38

Instantly vaporized. Just that's a good one.

SPEAKER_10 40:42

Yeah. Firing squad's good because you don't know where it's going to hit you.

SPEAKER_05 40:46

In the body. Except you see, I want six bullets. I don't want a fake one. I want them all.

SPEAKER_10 40:53

I guess this is I'll make sure you don't miss. So I'll think I'll use it. I'm going to get cremated anyway.

SPEAKER_05 40:59

You know on that scene in Robocop where they test that walking around robot in the office and that guy gets shot like a grillion times. That's me. That's what I want. No doubter. Please do that. Please do that. Anyway. Okay. So Edward's holding court. Yes. Oh, this is my favorite scene. He tells these two guys who are fighting, he's like, I don't want to listen to your shit. Get out of here until you figured it out. Which is kind of great.

SPEAKER_10 41:23

Go back to your rooms. Think about what you've done.

SPEAKER_05 41:26

Not only back to your rooms, but leave Winchester until you've sorted your issues. Yes. And then this woman walks up and she starts talking with Edward about how they met each other in their youth and he rode her horse and she was angry about it. And oh but she wants her land back from somebody. That is not important. What's important is that a house doesn't want to hear anything about this. And two, he gives the lady flirting. They flirt like crazy. Edward's like head over heels immediately, gives her her land back and then invites her to dinner. And her name No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

SPEAKER_10 42:00

No. Before that, though. No, she he hasn't invited her to dinner yet. Okay. So she just he's like, she's like, he's like, Yep, everything's good. I'm on your side. Here you go. Here's your decree. She starts to walk up. Two nuns step up and he looks at them and he goes, Nope. Yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_05 42:21

I forgot to write about the nuns. The nuns are like, oh, we're not doing this. Um, yep. That's when he calls the lady back and invites her to dinner.

SPEAKER_10 42:29

But man, the nuns, oh man, this is where I'm like, oh, she's very cute.

SPEAKER_05 42:32

So then her name is an unpronounceable mass of letters. It's spelled E-A-D-G-I-F-U, and I don't have a clue. We'll just call her F U.

SPEAKER_02 42:45

How to pronounce it? Ed Ed Gifu? Egg Egg Gif? Egg. Egg Fu Young. Egg Fu Young. Oh de Toilette. Goo Gooey. Edgu. Ed Gif. Edgar. Alan Poe.

SPEAKER_10 43:05

My God. Who does this? Who does this? Yeah. I didn't catch her name at all. I just kept calling her Lady from Kent. That's all I'm calling from Kentucky.

SPEAKER_03 43:18

Oh, I've inadvertently pasted. What have I done? I'd really like to know what the Wimple nuns wanted. I wanna I want to know. I'm so curious. Oh, I don't want to know.

SPEAKER_05 43:29

It's probably dirty.

SPEAKER_10 43:30

Where I where is Rosencrantz and Gildenstern when you need them? So that we can see what happens with the nuns. Anyway.

SPEAKER_05 43:36

What's their story?

SPEAKER_10 43:43

Flood is telling mom about her condition. Is mom like, nope, sorry. It's all Edith's fault. She's the one who can't cure it. We'll find somebody who can't eat it. You're fired, you fuck off. Now she's like, uh, she's like, no, come on. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Flood's like, to the to the priest who is in on this whole scene. This comes back later. She's like, hey, can you You go console mom because I just don't have the strength right now.

SPEAKER_05 44:14

This is every I forgot to mention because I was busy doing the research. This scene is every concerned mother dealing with a doctor that she doesn't believe in. What do you mean you can't cure her? It's beyond my abilities. Well, then what the fuck good are you? I'm sorry, I got emotional.

SPEAKER_10 44:32

It's but this is where I said she gives her about three to four months because she says from what we've seen with Utrud in the snow, just kind of falling a little bit. We figure it's early winter. So you got about three to four months of any given season, depending on where you are. So you figure if she's not gonna see spring, she's gonna die somewhere between now and three to four months. Anyway, but she says I can alleviate your pain with some righteous drugs. And Fled's like, I'm good with that, but I want to go back to Howberg. I'm gonna go tell my kid. She tells the priest not to tell anyone. Very specifically.

SPEAKER_06 45:15

Everyone, don't tell anyone.

SPEAKER_10 45:17

Right. But she specifically tells the priest don't tell anyone.

SPEAKER_06 45:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 45:22

Specifically. She's gonna tell her daughter. Um, and she's bringing Bullcut along. And they find her, they she just like like, is she just in the next room?

SPEAKER_05 45:35

Yeah, she's in the next room. Like her bedroom? Yeah, she's in the next room.

SPEAKER_10 45:40

Oh my god. So like her parents are in the one room and she's in the other room, making out on her bed with a boy. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yep, doing a little over-the-close things.

SPEAKER_06 45:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 45:52

As far as we can tell. We don't know. They were mid, you know, kissy kissy.

SPEAKER_06 45:57

They're making out. We'll just say that.

SPEAKER_05 45:59

Fled is not okay with this. She's like, duh, fuck. She just walks away initially, which is like okay. But then her daughter kind of like stirs the shit by going out and standing in front of her mother going, What is your problem? Like, well, what do you think is your problem?

SPEAKER_10 46:20

Oh my god. It's the it's the most this is the scene from every you know, drama that had a teen daughter in it, and every sitcom and every police drama and every single show on TV in the 70s and the 80s and the 90s. If there was a daughter-mom relationship, at some point they would have this conversation.

SPEAKER_05 46:51

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_10 46:51

And the daughter would storm up. You know what? That never happened to me and my daughter. But it happened to me and my mom. Oh yeah.

unknown 46:59

Many, many times.

SPEAKER_10 47:00

I think times have changed. Yeah, but my daughter and I, we've never had a moment like that.

SPEAKER_05 47:05

You probably, if you were to walk in on something like you'd go, oh Jesus, excuse, excuse me.

SPEAKER_10 47:09

And yeah, I'd be like, uh, hey, we'll talk about this later, but let's get some clothes on and meet in the kitchen.

SPEAKER_05 47:16

And also, um I never had to use that line, sadly. And also, there is there is like there was never any threat that you were going to send your daughter's boyfriend up the river to be attacked by raiders.

SPEAKER_07 47:32

Yeah, true.

SPEAKER_10 47:34

Because she sends him away.

SPEAKER_05 47:36

For all all the things that are wonderful about you, Eileen, you are not a queen. Maybe that is part of why you are wonderful.

SPEAKER_10 47:47

Aw.

SPEAKER_05 47:49

She says. Off to the Raiders with you.

SPEAKER_10 47:53

Yeah. Well, Wynn is like the best. This is where's like, I thought about it, I'm over the whole royalty thing. Fled's like, too bad, so sad, you're gonna have to be ready to take over, and that means being chased. And she's like, Oh fuck this all the way, because she's already kissed a boy, so you know what that means.

SPEAKER_06 48:14

She liked it.

SPEAKER_10 48:15

And that's when she's that's when she yells, Destiny is for our slings! I do not want it. I don't want it.

SPEAKER_05 48:24

And she John's nose on the side.

SPEAKER_10 48:25

Didn't you fall all slings? I want to hear Utrid say it.

SPEAKER_05 48:28

This is made rougher by the fact that in uh short order, it's very likely that El uh El Elf Elfwin will likely have to be queen of Mercia.

SPEAKER_10 48:42

Well, that's what that's what they want, but Helm, of course, is going to put forth all sorts of things and shit. So he's gonna start some shit.

SPEAKER_05 48:54

Yeah, he's real good about this because the next scene is House and the Icky Queen. What the fuck her name? I d this is how much I care.

SPEAKER_10 49:03

She can never re Oh my gosh, another Ethel something, isn't she?

SPEAKER_05 49:07

I don't even know. I don't know. I mean, we all I remember when we first saw her, like, oh, she's pretty. And then we got to know her and we're like, oh, she's awful.

SPEAKER_10 49:17

Well, she's just nothing.

SPEAKER_05 49:19

She's a n well, she's a she's her father's daughter, clearly.

SPEAKER_10 49:23

Yeah. Well, her father's like rule, you know, really pulling out the strings here.

SPEAKER_05 49:28

So she's doing the grand vizier thing, and and he's really kicking it out into a new level. What do you look at me like that? Grand vizier the Grand Vizier. He's trying to. Have you not seen Aladdin? Yeah, in a way. He's he's trying to worm tongues. Yeah. He's he's doing that shit. He is he is in the king's ear and tempting him to do things so that he can gain more power himself. Sure. And it's he's bad.

SPEAKER_10 50:01

He's bad. So Edward's wife notices that Ed's arrived and he's got the lady from Kent with him. They kind of the guys go off together, and the two ladies are kind of left across the courtyard and they kind of like nod to each other. Yeah, and then Helm, like, with jump scares her.

SPEAKER_05 50:21

Yeah, pulls her out and says, How much money do you want?

SPEAKER_10 50:24

She's like, What the fuck are you talking about?

SPEAKER_05 50:26

It's always money with you women. How much do you want?

unknown 50:28

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05 50:30

And she's like, What the hell? 30 pounds, 30, 30 pieces of silver. That's how much betrayal is. Throwing a shit back in his face. And she's just going blow for blow with him. He she's not taking his shit. Well, she took his shit eventually, as we see, but we'll get to that.

SPEAKER_10 50:47

Yeah, and then he she goes, he's trying, of course, he's trying to bribe her to leave. And then she goes, and if I don't, he goes, I don't know. We see Brita. We see Brita coming out to the courtyard to assess the kneeling women. They've been there for two days.

SPEAKER_05 51:06

ADRs at them real bad. I don't know if you noticed. The ADR here was very strong because there was no way she was doing that particular speech on set. Did not notice that because Mike, you're a sound guy. Did you notice how clear and crisp Brita's speech was in this particular scene?

SPEAKER_03 51:28

Yeah, it was very much studio recorded. Yeah, it had to be ADR. There's no way it wasn't.

SPEAKER_10 51:33

So why don't they try to make it not sound like ADR? Come on, guys. They gotta I can do all kinds of shit. My kid makes music. Well, I sometimes fuck it up. I don't know. I don't know. Just make it sound, just make it sound better.

SPEAKER_05 51:48

They forgot to apply the appropriate um filters to the audience.

SPEAKER_10 51:53

Come on. Just put some.

SPEAKER_05 51:56

Mike can make me sound like I'm in the bottom of a well. Help! I'm in the bottom of a well.

SPEAKER_07 52:02

I'm coming to get the dispenser.

SPEAKER_05 52:06

Don't send any more buckets.

SPEAKER_09 52:10

The last one has a bunch of beer in it.

SPEAKER_05 52:13

Okay, I'm fine for a while. Should I just pee right here?

SPEAKER_02 52:19

Do you want one? I'll send another bucket.

SPEAKER_03 52:22

Which which also begs the thing. So the girls have been out kneeling for two days, which means the sewer girls have been and the sewer watching this for two days.

SPEAKER_05 52:33

Yeah, they're underneath the courtyard in that in the poop room.

SPEAKER_03 52:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 52:39

Being all seeing.

SPEAKER_03 52:40

She's being all the it count it clown looking out through the sewer. We all float down here. Come on down, Georgie.

SPEAKER_02 52:46

We all float down here, Georgie.

SPEAKER_03 52:48

Wallowitz. Wallowitz, that was his name.

SPEAKER_02 52:50

Wallowitz!

SPEAKER_05 52:52

It just popped into my head. Oh my god. I gotta tell you guys something. You just did something. Mike, you did it. Something that my wife does to me all the time. We will be having a conversation. And again, it's important that you know, and you guys know this. Listener, you might remember my wife was in our one episode about anime that we regret.

SPEAKER_10 53:12

It wasn't because of my wife, totally forgotten about that episode.

SPEAKER_05 53:15

I I haven't because it is a shame. A great shame. Anyway, uh my wife is very, very smart. She's she she just has a poor memory when it comes to names. And every so often we'll be having a conversation, and she will forget the name of a person that she's describing to me, and I won't have any idea because I'm not very bright. And time will pass, time will pass, and usually two days, and and in the wee hours of the morning, she'll sit up, just sit up. It was Billy Crystal. It was Billy Crystal. That's the guy I was trying to talk about. Like what? From the I guess it was last week now. Do you remember? The nice thing is you got it done within the half hour.

unknown 54:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 54:02

And we didn't have to wait until next Monday to find out what the guy's name was from Big Bang.

SPEAKER_10 54:08

Yes, yes, yes, yes. So the girls are kind of now standing up. Miss that part. And um, we flash back kind of when the daughter is blindfolded and has an ace bandage around her eyes.

SPEAKER_06 54:27

Oh, god.

SPEAKER_10 54:28

And she comes out to pick another sacrifice. I said, wait, but do they have a volcano shoot?

SPEAKER_05 54:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 54:36

Did they have to get one? Did they have to dig one? Did they have to have one brought in?

SPEAKER_05 54:40

They made one, it's uh also Science Fair Week at uh nice.

SPEAKER_10 54:44

Ooh, it's a good look.

SPEAKER_05 54:45

So they made a paper mache volcano big enough to swallow a guy. God damn it. It's not that great. Because this little kid I want to know what Vibeke. Vivica, yeah. When do they decide it was a good idea to let the kid pick? She's a seer. No, she's not. How does she just a creep?

SPEAKER_10 55:08

How does she know where to go? She's blindfolded with an ace bandage.

SPEAKER_05 55:12

How she's literally not a seer. She's kind of blindfolded.

SPEAKER_10 55:16

She's just a well, she's been convinced she's a seer. I think her I think her mother has convinced her she's a seer.

SPEAKER_05 55:22

No, I don't know if I like any of that.

SPEAKER_10 55:23

So she walks out and she starts They didn't need a shoot. Uh because as soon as she touches somebody's hand before they have a chance to react, shplurch.

SPEAKER_05 55:37

Yeah. She's like throat slip seven hands.

SPEAKER_10 55:41

More than one. I'm like, oh, and another one, and a third, and fourth, oh, she's I said, is she just gonna pick 'em all one by one?

SPEAKER_06 55:48

I thought so.

SPEAKER_10 55:50

And then there's like three or four left.

SPEAKER_05 55:53

Yeah. And Raj walks out of wherever he was, and he gets his hand grabbed. And he's like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, there's a big mistake.

SPEAKER_10 56:04

Oh, you want to go for some ice cream, little girl? Sure, I'll take her hand. Let's go get some ice cream. Come on.

SPEAKER_05 56:10

Brita's like, okay, five is enough. So we'll just carve a notch into your cheek instead.

SPEAKER_10 56:18

Again, she doesn't kill him. She's just once again, deaf girl holds Steora back again.

SPEAKER_05 56:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 56:28

She's like, nope, can't still can't go out.

SPEAKER_05 56:30

There's people actively bleeding on Steora at this point.

SPEAKER_10 56:33

Siggy's out there doing a little forest parkour.

unknown 56:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 56:36

He's got that fashion. He's got some, he's got some he's got a fashionable bob now.

SPEAKER_05 56:43

A really nice uh John Bon Jovi haircut. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 56:47

No, you know what? It reminds me of uh if Mrs. Brady and Cersei, after she had when she had to do her walk of shame with her haircut, had a baby and its hair would look like that.

SPEAKER_05 57:03

Which one of those women had a mustache?

SPEAKER_10 57:05

I believe both of them do. They just wax them or bleach them or something. All women has mustaches. Um news alert, news flash. We all just hide it somewhere or another. We do voodoo.

SPEAKER_05 57:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 57:20

We've learned you into thinking we don't have mustaches. Of course they're not they're not manly mustaches. No, no, like anyway.

SPEAKER_05 57:25

Like, okay. So she's water he's watering the countryside, yeah, and then all of a sudden he senses someone's there. Come on, you fucker. I I know you you you'd be around, and it's Pearllig on a horse. They're like, okay, we're gonna kill Breda. That's the plan in a nutshell.

SPEAKER_10 57:41

Meet these armies, take my homestead, kill the bitch.

SPEAKER_05 57:44

Kill the bitch.

SPEAKER_10 57:46

Back to more flirting in the hallway. Edward and Lady of Kent have a meeting in the hallway, and she's like, Hey, you can have your money back. And she's he's like, What the fuck are you talking about? She's like, The money you were gonna trying to pay me to leave. You sent your dude to do it. He's like, uh, I'm sorry, blah, blah, blah. And she says something nice to him, and he falls in love immediately. Yeah. Because she said something nice to him.

SPEAKER_06 58:20

That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me in some time. Oh my gosh. We should sleep together.

SPEAKER_10 58:26

My god, this is you should stay for a while and date me. And she's like, Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_05 58:34

You wanna hang out? We can hang out. I got I got we can train set, you can help me build it.

SPEAKER_10 58:46

You want to see my spike collection?

SPEAKER_05 58:48

Maybe I'll let you play on my Nintendo 64. We can play Super Smash Bros. if you're nice. I don't want to I don't want to let anyone use the controllers because they're old and I don't want them to get broken. But I mean, if you're really cool.

unknown 59:02

Touch my baby.

SPEAKER_10 59:03

Anyway. Spencer, are you in there?

unknown 59:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_10 59:07

All right. Uh Father P is. My little close caffeine said tinkling.

SPEAKER_05 59:15

Tinkling.

SPEAKER_10 59:16

So Father P is tinkling, and Finn comes up behind him and they make some piss jokes.

SPEAKER_05 59:22

Yeah, you sprinkled on your pants there. It's holy water. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_10 59:26

Uh then Utrud and Siggy meet up, and Utrud's gonna help him. And Finn's like, yeah, I don't know about this. And Siggy's like, uh, my wife. This I don't know why I'm Scottish.

SPEAKER_06 59:39

That was good.

SPEAKER_10 59:39

Um he's like, oh wait, I gotta weigh in. And I said, Oh, maybe it's where Stora is in the sewers.

SPEAKER_05 59:48

But instead, we get to look at Random Beard Man, whose name I've forgotten.

SPEAKER_10 59:52

Ah, mine as well. I forgot as all. I said new father, whose name I can't remember either. Bishop.

SPEAKER_05 59:57

His name is Benedict. At least that's easy to remember. It's Benedict. This beard guy, his name is Random Beard.

SPEAKER_10 1:00:04

Okay, so Ex Benedict and Random Beard talking, and this guy's shaking down uh eggs Benedict. Yeah. For some silver that he owes Helm for getting in this cushy gig, I'm guessing. Is that what this is?

SPEAKER_05 1:00:19

Yeah, and he offers. The big chalice that came up in the recap at the beginning of the episode and a bag of money, and he's like, that's not enough. He's like, I've got nothing else. But except the things I have heard and things I have seen. I've heard goes, What did you hear the scene? And he's like, let's get breast cancer, she's gonna die before spring off. So it starts to thunder, and Brida's like, maybe we should sacrifice some more people! Could we not do that, Brida? Ever again? Please stop telling your little girl to play in the courtyard. I know that there's a reason why she ends up being like the main antagonist. But I don't like it.

SPEAKER_10 1:01:08

Brita. Because we used to like her, right? She was alright for a while.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:12

I mean, back in the day when Utrin tried to hump her next to the charcoal pile. Man, those are the days.

SPEAKER_10 1:01:19

Those were the days. Cut back to Siggy and the final pharmacy panty. He's like, I have a Roman plan. And Finn's like, I'm I'm I'm not sure. That's that sounds like a good idea. I don't know. Didn't the Romans are there?

SPEAKER_05 1:01:36

No, they've been gone for 600 years.

SPEAKER_10 1:01:39

Yeah. Osferth, bring forth the holy flint.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:45

Three shall be the number which thou shalt strike.

SPEAKER_10 1:01:50

Thou shalt not strike four, nor thou thou set up at two.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:56

Unless thou shalt continue on unto three. Five is right out.

SPEAKER_10 1:02:04

So uh apparently this has been built to move the turds away from F refre-ish. Sigi goes to go first. Now Utard's like, fuck no, I always go first, dude. Have we met?

unknown 1:02:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 1:02:21

But he says some bullshit about Steor never forgive me if you got killed coming out first, which is just fucking bullshit. He just has to be first because he's Utrud.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:31

Yeah, because he's the maker.

SPEAKER_10 1:02:32

Destiny is fucking for our slings.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:34

That's it, Mike. Destiny is for our slings. Yes.

SPEAKER_10 1:02:39

Stiora then decides she can't stand it anymore. She calls to Burita from the sewers.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:45

She's great, screen, you have pauses.

SPEAKER_10 1:02:50

So again, very screamy from the sewers. That's kind of badass. If she were smart, she'd like go from sewer to sewer, just kind of, you know, fucking with her at night.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:01

I only think there's one, there's only one hole, though.

SPEAKER_10 1:03:04

Do you think? There's only one drain for the whole castle? For the whole rent fair? One drain hole for the whole rent fair? That's not good. That's not good for the pheasants.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:16

That's not good for the vendors. That's not good for the customers. That's not good for the jugglers for sure.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:21

Yeah, you drop one of your bowling pins into that turdwater.

SPEAKER_10 1:03:24

My God. Although, if you've ever used a port of potty at a rent fair, that's an experience. It really is. Hard pass. Yeah. Anyway. Uh that's it. Uh Mike, did we miss anything?

SPEAKER_03 1:03:38

No, you you got it all. Although I did have a I while you were talking, I did uh change the title of the episode to cranking the otters, but then I I put it to Destiny as for arslings.

SPEAKER_10 1:03:52

No, no, change it back to cranking the otters. Cranking the otters. Okay, okay. That's the SSO's name. Okay, because if people don't click on it simply for cranking the otters, I don't know what to tell you.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:05

So, but I would like to tell our listeners. I've I've already forgotten the context for that joke. Urine, otter semen, and yeah, but the cranking part. I gotta how did I get to crank? Uh, because you because you said something about the semen who was busy cranking the otters.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:25

Yeah, I did. I care. I'll I'll find out when the episode comes out.

SPEAKER_10 1:04:30

Yeah, you can listen to it back. And you'll know exactly. Oh man, thank you so much for listening to our Stu podcast. You know what? Come on. Let us know you listen. I know there's at least three of you out there. Um, you can share us wherever the hell I don't care. Knitting forums, clubs, uh, whatever. Email us at royalhighnesspod at gmail.com. Uh, you can message us on Facebook because that's how old I fucking am. And thank our producer. I think, I think, I want to thank our producer Michael.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:08

Thank you, Michael, Michael.

SPEAKER_09 1:05:10

And fine folks over at Injured Nerds Productions. We can't wait to do it all again next week.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:19

I'm sorry!

SPEAKER_02 1:05:20

I couldn't I couldn't take it anymore!

SPEAKER_00 1:05:31

Royal Highness is an injured nerves production. It is produced and directed by Mike Beacon, and is available on all podcast networks. The comments and opinions expressed here are those of the hosts and their guests, and are not affiliated in any way with Netflix or the last two minutes. If you would like to contact us, you can do so at royalhighnesspod at email.com. Thanks for listening. We hope you come back to listen again.