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Royal Highness!
OH HEY! It’s you! You found us! We are so glad you’re here. You don’t have to watch the GoT episodes before listening, but we’d love it if you did. Spencer and I look forward to creating this podcast every week and we have a blast doing it. We hope you enjoy listening to it as much as we do making it. You can email us at: RoyalHighnessPod@gmail.com. I read every email because I’m compulsive like that. ENJOY THE SHOW!~~Eileen
Royal Highness!
Episode 169 - Evil Dibsney Queen - HoD S3E7&E8
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It’s the conclusion of season 3 of House of the Dragon so Eileen and Spencer are enhancing and reviewing the last two episodes! Who dies and who survives? Did they pay Dibsney for the use of the evil queen costume? Does Ulf the White become Ulf the Black? Will young Joffrey say anything? Will Aegon prevail? What exactly is Alys? What do Tommen and Heleana have in common? Now the Septon is truly holey. Confused? You won’t be after this supersized, superfun, episode of Royal Highness!
Be sure to tune in next week as Eileen and Spencer recap the season and play a game.
This podcast contains adult language and content and is rated 'M' for Mature. Listener discretion is advised.
You can email the hosts at: royalhighnesspod@gmail.com
Thanks to Mike Beagen for hosting and publishing this podcast.
We are recording for posteriors.
SPEAKER_02Yes. Listen up, asses. Well, welcome back after your week of vacation, and I understand you went camping. We did. It was great to get them.
SPEAKER_01Well, kind of. I mean, I had my own camping space with my trail.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_01And then they had their campsite across the way from me. Across the um. Across the way, across the little road there. Um in in in their spot. And my sight was lovely.
SPEAKER_09Oh. Yeah, because you were right on the lake and it was a nice breeze and it was shaded and everything, and ours was um right in the open, no shade.
SPEAKER_01Um and every bug in the place decided their place was the place to be.
SPEAKER_09At one point I was killing bees with a bag of marshmallows.
SPEAKER_01And what happened with those marshmallows there, Spence?
SPEAKER_09I ate them.
SPEAKER_01No. You don't remember wrecking yourself in the nuts with the marshmallows?
SPEAKER_09I did wreck my nuts with the bag of marshmallows. I forgot about that because it kind of passed.
SPEAKER_01Hello! And welcome to the Royal Highness Podcast, where eat where we watch. Jesus Christ. Hello. And welcome to the Royal Highness Podcast, where we watch George err Martin shows for the first time while enhanced with cannabis products, and then we talk about them while we're still enhanced with cannabis products. Uh, we tonight just finished up season three of House of the Dragon. We are doing two episodes, two, two, two for the prize of one tonight. Hello, Spencer. Hello, Eileen. Hello, Mike. Hello, Spencer.
SPEAKER_02Hello, Eileen. Hello, Mike. Good night, Moon.
SPEAKER_09Good night, John Boy. Oh, Lord. Good night, everybody.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_02Good night, VFW Post 457. That was one of our father's jokes.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god. Of course it was. Okay, House of the Dragon, season three. Episode seven is titled The Dragon in the Winter.
SPEAKER_09The Dragon in Winter. Oh, I was like, I was supposed to do my thing. You didn't want to do it.
SPEAKER_01Okay, like you always forget. Okay, so episode seven titled The Dragon in Winter. Man, that was great. And episode eight titled The Treasons at Tumbleton. Where the Dinglebon Bonds snickle in the frufru grass. Holy holy holy. Episode seven.
SPEAKER_07HBO Max says Was it the Tinkle Bottoms at Tumbleton? Oh shut up.
SPEAKER_10Ruger's like, that's my favorite show. I like the Tinkle Bottoms. Oh my god, he's all hurt.
SPEAKER_01I just ship my plants. HBO Max tells us that episode seven is gonna be torn between Bazaria and Damon's visions for her reign. Ranera grows desperate for a sign that she will prevail. Girl goes crazy. Yeah. Yeah. So I have to start by saying that I try to avoid spoilers when I haven't watched. And it was hard, hard, hard this week to avoid them.
SPEAKER_09They didn't make sense to me. They didn't make sense to me out of context.
SPEAKER_01For the most part, the one I heard the most was, and I'm assuming that anybody listening that has this has watched the episode. So I'm spoilers. Everything is spoilers. There's a big show of spoilers. So um uh where was I going, sis? Oh uh all I had heard is all I had heard is somebody, one of the main characters gets killed off, right? That's what I heard. It's like somebody you don't expect has has is uh is no longer gets killed in episode seven? No, in because seven and eight had come out when I was scrolling.
SPEAKER_09Oh, I see. I thought you were talking about each individual episode.
SPEAKER_01No, no, no, no. So well, I didn't know if it was in seven or eight, honestly.
SPEAKER_09I'd heard separate spoilers about episode seven. Uh I'd heard about the return of Sunfire. I didn't expect quite so cool. I'd heard about Maseria and Rhaenera having their moment together. I did not realize that Rhaenira was going to yell at Maseria's vagina. That was weird. Um and I'd heard uh something about something.
SPEAKER_01Oh. Yeah, I'd heard some of that too.
SPEAKER_09That's pretty interesting.
SPEAKER_01I could back you up on that.
SPEAKER_09I could back you up. Actually, that's all I'd heard about episode seven. Episode eight, I'd heard a lot more, but we'll talk about that when it's time.
SPEAKER_01Okay. So we get uh recap. First, we see the fake out on the battlefield and crispy getting it through the eye. Um, Gawain and his uncle talking about Rainey's reign and Rainey holding court, and then she gets cut by the swords. That never comes back. That's never mentioned again. Is it that? Or is it that she's didn't isn't that what her dad died from? A cut like that? I mean they got sepsis?
SPEAKER_09It happened a number of times to Viserys. But I think part of it is that there's talk about how if the if the Iron Throne bites you, so to speak, it indicates that you're somehow not worthy to sit in it. And I don't know if that's something I just heard in passing or if it's lore or if I read it on the internet, which is always true. Always true.
SPEAKER_01Of course. Well, if you saw it on the internet, it's obviously, obviously true.
SPEAKER_09I saw a post from Abraham Lincoln that said that.
SPEAKER_01No more questions. Believe me completely.
SPEAKER_09Um Abraham underscore Lincoln underscore 65, just so you know.
SPEAKER_01Okay. I'll I'll write that down later. Uh we see Damon running into elephant town. Um, we see Aegon and his dragon and then killing the guy with a dragon scale.
SPEAKER_09Um, it was a dagger once again.
SPEAKER_01Oh. Are you sure? I'm pretty sure.
SPEAKER_09I'm pretty confident it was a it was a dagger.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Then the decision that they're gonna go to ASOS.
SPEAKER_09Yeah. Bravos, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Right, bravos.
SPEAKER_09He wants to go to Bravos, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Sheep, uh, we we were reminded that Sheep Stealer's Rider is dead because she's got a head. They remind us about Lady Creepy and the whole thing with her and Renera Ra. And now Renera Ra has to stay out of sight at all times.
SPEAKER_09Right. Uh wait, R Raina, not Renee Ra. That's confusing, because then they're both called Renera.
SPEAKER_01I thought that she was Rineris. No, wait, that was Corlus's wife.
SPEAKER_09Raina? Oh, you're hurting my head. Um, Raina, Raina is it's Damon's daughter Raina, who is in exile in the Vale with Sheep Stealer and Lady Erin, Lady Creepy, as you put it.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_09Moondor woman number one.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god, there was a scene with the moon door. Oh my god, were you as nervous as I was?
SPEAKER_09I was more confused by the start of that scene than I was worried about what happened. Yeah, me too. Seriously, me too. I was like, oh, is it just now story time in the Vale's throne room? Why are you sitting there? Who are you? What's going on? Was there a scene that got cut for time, or are we just being fucked with here?
SPEAKER_01I don't know, but that woman like must have won a contest to be on House of the Dragon.
SPEAKER_09She can't get to be the biggest, sparkliest dress with the whitest shoulder pants and sit right on Lady Erin's lap and then just go away forever, and no one will ever talk about me again.
SPEAKER_04That was the weird oh, okay. Well, now I don't even know. I'm so glad you don't know either. I thought I'd lose in my mind. I'm like, surely I should know who this is. She's sitting on Lady Ann's lap.
SPEAKER_01At least, at least she wasn't breastfeeding her.
SPEAKER_09Oh, fuck. Oh, I hadn't even thought about the potential for breastfeeding.
SPEAKER_01Maybe that's what they'd been doing.
SPEAKER_09Well, who knows, right? I you know what? I gotta find out if I can if I can squeeze out some internet about that.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god. All right, and then we see uh Alison telling Rainey about Helen being a dreamer and that she knows where Amund is. Uh so she knows where Amond is, which is weird. How does she know that? The witch is seducing Amon, and then we see Corless leaving and getting kidnapped, and then we see uh Rainey sending Allison out with her uh assassin.
SPEAKER_06That was awesome.
SPEAKER_01Uh talk about your vocal fry. Never smoke kids. Wow. Um, so she's yeah, uh then we see you're leaving. So and then we get the music, and I was like, are we gonna get crispy in the tapestry? Yes, yes, we do. That was awesome. Yeah, with the arrows through his eyes.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, that's pretty cool.
SPEAKER_01Which we see shortly.
SPEAKER_06All right.
SPEAKER_01All right. Delightful. Uh slow pan of the minutes before the opening of the Renfare, everything's quiet. Nobody's come in yet. Uh Helen is walking around a horse. And then some doors open. I'm like, ah, she's dreaming. She walks out into the sunlight. And then we don't see what she sees, though. She just walks out. I'm like, in her dream, would she be seeing herself? Wouldn't we be seeing it from her perspective?
SPEAKER_09I mean, sure.
SPEAKER_01Okay, well, anyway. All right. Uh Rainey's calling her in the dream, and it turns out, in real life. And uh oh my god, what this is the weirdest question. She did Aman did Aamon ask you to ride into battle with him? Did he? When Helen? When?
SPEAKER_04Helena? When for why? Of what purpose? For what purpose? She'd be like, Oh, I've got to go look at bugs. Bye. He'd be like, where the fuck?
SPEAKER_01He's already got one daughter wandering around. He can't find half the time, and now he's got this one. No, why would you do that?
SPEAKER_02It was Amund that asked him to ride with her, not Damon.
SPEAKER_01Amund, that's what I said.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, Amund. The chicken wing. Yeah. Chicken wing. They they had a discussion on the parapet, and he had a discussion with her telling her how the realm was important and that both dragons were needed, and she declined to go.
SPEAKER_01Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_02I don't remember that.
SPEAKER_01Well, good for you, Mike. Good on you. Good memory. Woohoo.
SPEAKER_09Um can I interrupt you just for a moment and tell you who that woman was, or do you want to talk about it when we get there?
SPEAKER_01Let's talk about it when we get there. Save that.
SPEAKER_09Okay, I'll save it.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Yummy. There's something waiting later. Yay.
SPEAKER_09Yes, I have a treat for y'all.
SPEAKER_01All right. Okay. She nods, they talk about their dad. And then Helen's like, I really think having these dragons is fucking us up. And she's like, Well, what do you mean? And Helen's like, uh, bitch, you don't think you're fucked up? Come on. You weren't like this before the whole you know, you got to a dragon or whatever.
SPEAKER_09These two episodes, there's a lot of Helena spit and fire. For such a quiet character. She says some shit.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_09Ugly.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, a lot. DC says that a lot. Yeah.
SPEAKER_09Yes, indeed.
SPEAKER_01Alright. So then we have Rainey losing her mind with Helen. Right?
SPEAKER_09She's like, I understand you might be a seer. Can you tell me everything? What were the lottery numbers? Who's gonna win the World Series? What time am I getting up tomorrow? I need to know all of these things. Tommy now.
SPEAKER_01I'm just gonna go back to my royal. Excuse me.
SPEAKER_09And then I mean, you can't do that. You can't do clairvoyance by gun.
SPEAKER_01Right. She's well, she's just looking for validation, right? She's like, she literally says, Am I going to prevail?
SPEAKER_09And she starts weepy.
SPEAKER_01I don't know, man.
SPEAKER_04Fuck off.
SPEAKER_01So we go to Aamon doing sword chi.
SPEAKER_09Oh, sword chi. I wrote Tai Chi in my notes several times with reference to Aamon and Aaron all. I wish you would stop doing that. I said it would be a lot easier if you put some shoes on.
SPEAKER_01You know, it is it is uh, shall we say hazardous in there? There's lots of debris, lots of debris. You don't know what's on the floor, could be anything. You are going to get an infection, sir.
SPEAKER_09That could be um glass. I mean, he they did say that it was burned by a dragon. That could just be vitrified stone.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, if there was sand on the floor, now you got glass.
SPEAKER_09Yeah. And you're gonna slice up your pities.
SPEAKER_01That's true. Let's see. He sees Alicent and Oh god, I forgot what the fuck he's like uh I escaped, but Helen got taken. Now, this whole time, this is so gross. Okay, so she goes to hug him and he's really suspicious, right? And he's like, What about Aegon? And he's like, she's like, Oh, he's mostly dead.
SPEAKER_09Mostly dead.
SPEAKER_01He's mostly dead. Actually, that's true. He was for a while mostly.
SPEAKER_09He was for a while mostly dead.
SPEAKER_01And he got better, and I'm like, I hope this is a dream.
SPEAKER_09Really? And it was almost I mean, it was almost worse than a dream because we discover within a couple of moments that it wasn't Alicent, it was Alice putting a glamour on him.
SPEAKER_04Is that what it was?
SPEAKER_01I thought just in his sleep he was she was just taking advantage of him.
SPEAKER_09I'm not a hundred percent sure because it certainly looked like there was no break between like when he was on top, then they rolled over, and then there was and now you will give me a son, and bam, it's not her anymore. Mm-hmm. And it's Alice. It's Alice. Who the fuck is Alice? And then it's I I had to say it finally. I had to. Yeah. So he runs out, he she throws her off, puts the pants back on, goes outside for some reason.
SPEAKER_01How do you get your pants off around your mom? That's what I'm just asking. Well, if you're nobody should have their pants off around their moms.
SPEAKER_09If you rewind a minute ago, you remember that there was I know. That was fucking anyway.
SPEAKER_01I know.
SPEAKER_09I don't want to talk about it. Anyway, he goes outside and then bam, it's Alison. And I'm like, okay, my brain hurts. Now well, his did too.
SPEAKER_04He's like, I don't know if this is real or not.
SPEAKER_01There's a little point. You know, you saw that kind of go through his head, yeah.
SPEAKER_09Yeah. He's like, oh god, not now.
SPEAKER_01Now you now cut two dudes on horses, and oh my, Sir Roderick has crispy on a stick.
SPEAKER_09I fucking love Sir Roderick.
SPEAKER_04Oh my god.
SPEAKER_09He might be my favorite character of all three seasons. Because he's just so fucking there.
SPEAKER_01He gives no fucks. He's just spinning.
SPEAKER_07Well, he gives one. Fight, fight, fight, pretty much. He gives one fuck, a proper fucking.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, at the end. So yeah, crispy's heads on a stick with the arrow still in his eye. That was a nice touch.
SPEAKER_09Okay, so Gwen rides through Tumbleton to tell Orman that the Tullies and the North Men are on their way. He jumps off his horse, takes 10 steps, and says, The Tully's host is here. And I'm like, why are you breathing heavy? The horse did all the work. You just rode a horse and now you're breathing.
SPEAKER_01Just getting off that horse. Did you see how athletic he did it? He like swung his leg over and then just landed, just stuck the landing. So that takes some muscular work. So I'm thinking, you know, then he did that little thing where you raise your arms. You're being stuck the landing. So he puts his arms up. So that's the the armor's heavy. So I'm thinking those moves caused him to lose his breath.
SPEAKER_09I think you're being very, very uh what's the word I'm trying to say? Generous? Yes, that's it. Thank you.
SPEAKER_01Insightful.
SPEAKER_02Well, he's not a big man, as we are told later in the episode.
SPEAKER_01Correct. Yes.
SPEAKER_09He's oh he's kind of a little he's not a little he's not a he's well, he's probably my size, but thinner. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Is he really that?
SPEAKER_09I'll do some research.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and then Orman's like, so friend died for nothing. What an idiot. That's just brutal. But he's happy because he's like, hey, I've got a move. And then I'm like, what's the fucking move? I forgot he had turned off. Yeah. Yeah. We see Karexis flying.
SPEAKER_09Okay. Okay. Okay. This is the scene. So Eamon, or I'm sorry, Damon busts busts in through into the castle in the Vale, into the Erie.
SPEAKER_01And he's standing on the edge of the moon door. He like walks in and like screeches to a halt at the edge of the moon door. Standing in the opening.
SPEAKER_09Surely there is a cover when the moon door is not in use.
SPEAKER_01I don't care. Don't do that. Don't stand there. That's an invitation.
SPEAKER_09Regardless. Anyway. We see Lady Jane Aaron sitting on her throne in the in the Erie. And who's on her lap? There's a woman.
SPEAKER_07Who uh have we seen her before? We have never seen her.
SPEAKER_09Nope. We have never heard of her. We will never hear of her again. Uh wait.
SPEAKER_01Is she named in the credits?
SPEAKER_09She is named as part of the cast. And her name is Jessamine Redfurt. And she is a noblewoman from House Redfurt. She is quote unquote dear companion of Jane Aaron.
SPEAKER_04Oh. There's air quotes around dear companion.
SPEAKER_09There's literally quotation marks around dear companion.
SPEAKER_01Okay. There's literal uh quotation marks around it. Sweet. That's phenomenal. That's phenomenal.
SPEAKER_09There's a quote here from Fire and Blood, 40 years of age. Lady uh Aaron perished in the motherhouse of Maris on Hittstony Island in the harbor of Galltown, wrapped in the arms of Jessamine Redford, her dear companion. Okay. Now, here's the thing. Wait, uh Jane Aaron never had any children. She never married. So she she was a bachelor at her entire life. Is her name really Jane Aaron? Jane G J E Y N E is her name, right?
SPEAKER_01So Isn't that awfully close to Jane Eyre?
SPEAKER_09I didn't name these characters. Don't get mad at me.
SPEAKER_02Anyway.
SPEAKER_01Okay, George Martin.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Also, that's the second time you've brought that subject up. When you first met her, you made the same comments.
SPEAKER_03Did I really?
SPEAKER_02You did. That's not, yeah.
SPEAKER_01That's hilarious.
SPEAKER_09The the The thing of it isn't so much that there was a woman sitting on Lady Erin's lap. I can live with that. That's not an issue. Don't what was the issue is the fact that she never speaks and she's wearing like 1964 alien outfit. It looks like she just fell off the set of you remember the pilot of Star Trek when they're in the in the in the it's called the zoo, the zoo episode, or or yes, yes, yes.
SPEAKER_01Is that what it's called? They do. It's something like that.
SPEAKER_09It's menagerie.
SPEAKER_01Menagerie, yes.
SPEAKER_09Okay, and those big-headed aliens like capture Pike and keep him in the thing with whoever the fuck was number one at the time. Okay, they're wearing Jessamin Redfert's dress. It's just this silver, broad-shouldered fucking weirdo thing. And she gets up off of Jane Aaron's lap. Exit stage left.
SPEAKER_03Not a word.
SPEAKER_09Not a word? Not even Damon didn't go.
SPEAKER_06Who the fuck is that? Who is that? Who's your dear friend? This is weird. I demand satisfaction. Have you taken a ventriloquy? This is so weird. I don't understand. Are there no more chairs? Should I sit up there too? Should I sit on your other knee? Can I sit in your lap? I don't want to stand by this hole.
SPEAKER_01At any rate. Oh man. They talk about Raina. Yes? All right. Freddy Fox is five foot nine inches tall. That's tall. He's taller than me. Yeah, that's tall as me. He wants to talk to Raina, right? And he's like, so how do I find her? And she's like, well, she's probably still out looking for Vagar. So wherever you think Vagar might be, that's where she probably is.
SPEAKER_09And then he says, Give me a day, and I'll I I will I will figure this out. And then there's a beat, please.
unknownPlease.
SPEAKER_09And I I kind of chortled at that because oh my god, can you imagine? He says, please.
SPEAKER_01It is weird. He knows if you want to get a lesbian to do what you want her to do, you gotta say please. I won't make fun of your dear friend's dress. Uh cut to the emo couple.
SPEAKER_09Uh Baylor and Adam. Yes. Are they looking for uh they're looking for for Vagar? Is that what they're doing? Or sheep stealing?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. They're walking around looking for Vagar. Dragon! What the fuck? He'll come home when the lights, when the street lights come on. Don't worry about it. Have you ever seen a dragon skeleton in a tree? That's all I'm asking.
SPEAKER_10My mom's pissed.
SPEAKER_01So Adam, Adam basically is like, hey, can you maybe talk to Rainey and see if she'll recognize uh Alan and I?
SPEAKER_10Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_01And then she's like, Why would I do that? And he's like, Well, maybe, you know, if one of us had a really super special ultra royal lady friend, and she's like, Oh, did Alan talk to you about that? And I'm like, Oh shit, did she just let it slip?
SPEAKER_09I think she she dude. And then they see a dragon.
SPEAKER_01And I know in his mind he's like, Wait, we're not done. Wait a minute, what now? Because he thinks they're a thing, right?
SPEAKER_09Pause that conversation. We're going after the dragon. When we get back, you better fucking explain to me what you said to my brother. Right, exactly. Or what you did with my brother.
SPEAKER_01Didn't she smooch him?
SPEAKER_09She did the smooching. I don't know about anything else, but uh, that's all we know.
SPEAKER_01We do know there was some smooch in them.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_09In the dragon pit.
SPEAKER_01Then we see Eamon and Aaman and Allie in the castle. Um, and she's telling him how she escaped, and she's yapping on and on and on, and he turns around and he feels her hair.
SPEAKER_10Just checks to see if she is who she claims to be.
SPEAKER_01Right. She's like, you're not a you're not. I've been tricked before. Yeah. Had my seed stolen. So I'm not letting I might let that happen again. But just saying, I want to know who I'm giving it to. She tells him what she said in his dream, right? That you're all I have left. Isn't that what she said in his dream?
SPEAKER_09And then he starts like backing away from her and shit.
SPEAKER_01My gosh, it's coming true.
SPEAKER_10She's really creepy. We better not fucking mom.
SPEAKER_07Oh god, what am I doing? What am I doing with my life? You, Spencer, or are you still are you still channeling Amon? That last little bit was just me.
SPEAKER_09Anyway. She's like, come outside and see the guy who brought me. And it's this man, Sir Aiden, and he is bearded and friendly, and he's like, I just did what I had to do. The queen tells you was treated so shamefully. And uh so Eamon just stabs him in the face.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, basically. Goes to shake his hand and then just stabby stabs him in the throat, and I was like, ooh. Then he's like, Can't leave witnesses, babe. Sorry. Some weird standing, like going, what the fuck?
SPEAKER_07How am I gonna get home? He was my Uber. He was my right, he was uh Uber Knight. Sir Uber? Sir Uber Stop raping, sir.
SPEAKER_09So Alice is standing right there, just being weird. Mm-hmm. She's like, well, should we go eat? So then we cut over to Ormond eating, and he's complaining about animal fat. And I kind of zoned out here because this is another one of those things where Ormond's excesses disgust me.
SPEAKER_01And he's just okay. Have you seen the movie Empire Records?
SPEAKER_09No.
SPEAKER_01Okay. In that movie, there's a character who's this like 70s, he was like a 70s pop star that one of the employees at Empire Records, which is a record store, had a crush on, right? When she was a preteen, blah blah blah. And so she's gonna like make a plan to like seduce him, right? But he turns out to be a real creep and a real jerk and just a real asshole. And every guy just reminds me of that guy. So in my head, he's I can't remember the character's name, shit.
SPEAKER_09It's probably Ormond Hightower.
SPEAKER_01No, uh, Rex Manning is his name.
SPEAKER_09Okay.
SPEAKER_01So they have Rex Manning Day, which is April 8th. Do do so he's a real Rex Manning.
SPEAKER_09And he's talking about animal fat and how he's done with it and he wants to start eating vegetables, and Corless is at the table, just hating every minute of it.
SPEAKER_01He's like, I'd rather go back to my cell than listen to your insufferable gob smack on.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, because he's first off, he's ripping on Targaryens, and Corless has, you know, he's related. His wife was a Targaryen. Uh huh. And so this is not a conversation that Corless wants to listen to. He's like, oh, before you go, and then they cut. Because what was that? Oh, that's right. We find out later. That's right. Yeah. Also, I want to point something else out that happened during this. Orman plans to use Corliss's absence as a means to pull the driftmarkmen out of being the new gold cloaks, essentially. And Darren, Darren, who's wise beyond his ears, goes, How is that going to help us when the Northmen are attacking Tumbleton? And I thought Orman was just going to whip a piece of meat at his at his nephew.
SPEAKER_01I thought he was going to fling that knife, just whooping.
SPEAKER_09I also want to point out that the kid playing Darren, Darren Targaryen in this, is is going to be the link in the Legend of Zelda movie. Oh, that's a good call. Yeah, he's I've seen photos of him with his hair dyed blonde and and longer, and he's like, oh, he's good, good elfie kind of look for him.
SPEAKER_01Gwane and Darren are talking, and Darren's afraid that Hightower is using him for his own glory. I'm like, well, duh.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, and Gwane was just like, eh, you know, whatever. That's Gwen's attitude.
SPEAKER_01He's like, just ride away on your dragon. You don't want to be king anyway. Just go.
SPEAKER_09But Darren shows a little bit of a little bit of like concern for other people by going, well, what am I supposed to just leave him to keep doing this? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I mean that's He doesn't seem like a bad kid. I think he's just in a bad circumstance.
SPEAKER_09He's right now, he's literally a tool for Ormond to play with.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
unknownAlright.
SPEAKER_09Okay, small council meeting. Manderly's like, hey, it's poop on my door. Poop. I got poop door. I'm pretty confident.
SPEAKER_01It's your fault. He's like, I'm starting to feel like maybe I've been installed here as a scapegoat. Wait, is this scapegoat?
SPEAKER_06Is this scapegoat in the room with us right now? Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01Oh, she's just like moving on. Has anybody seen anyone from anywhere? Have we heard from anywhere? Have we heard from anywhere of anyone? Nothing? No.
SPEAKER_09No one's here. Everyone's gone. Then that lady's like, hey, what about Heronhall? I was told I could have Heronhall. Can I have Heronhall? And Rhenira just like fucking have it.
SPEAKER_01Sir. Go not. Take your chip. Take Heronhall. And she's like, ooh, yay!
SPEAKER_09We find out why that might not be a great idea. A little bit lighter.
SPEAKER_01You can come in later. Just sweep up. It's gonna need a little renovation.
SPEAKER_09You're gonna have to deal with the uh the permanent housekeeper.
SPEAKER_01But whatever. It is a it is a fixer upper.
SPEAKER_09Yeah.
SPEAKER_01There's that boat man.
SPEAKER_09Needs love. Whatever.
SPEAKER_01No rat catchers.
SPEAKER_09So I add him and bayla busted. Down sheep stealers in the riverlands.
SPEAKER_01Mm-hmm. And then there was a writer.
SPEAKER_09I wrote weird sounds. Oh! This was the point where Renera had that uh I can't believe I've been hoodwinked, and so I'm going to go deep within my own mind for a few seconds, and we're gonna hear what that sounds like. It sounds like she's got her head in a bucket of pudding. And then the scene ends. You remember the episode where Renira just got crowned and and she comes in and she's dealing with like the small council and the common people, but she's also menstruating at the same time. Oh, yeah. And the entire episode it sounded like her head was in a bucket of pudding because that's how it feels sometimes when you've got really bad crabs.
SPEAKER_01Well, apparently really bad crabs, I don't know.
SPEAKER_09Sheep Stealer with a rider gives her cramps. Yeah. So so outside the the the council room, she's walking back to her her quarters, and Maseria is just bitching about Damon.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god, it was such a high school uh lock hall of lockers talk. You're giving Damon too much time, and he's just treating you so bad. Why can't you see? I'm the one who loves you.
SPEAKER_09Oh then she like grabs Renera's arm, and I thought, she's gonna get her fucking arm cut off.
SPEAKER_01There were so many severed limbs in this episode, these two episodes. So many, so many severed limbs.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, I liked it.
SPEAKER_09I okay, so I just finished listening to the final book in the Dark Tower series.
SPEAKER_01Oh I've read them all.
SPEAKER_09I have too, and I uh I love them. They're my favorite, it's probably my favorite series of books right next to like the Hitchhiker's Guide. There's it's spoiler alert for people who haven't read Dark Tower 7 and now okay. So there's a scene uh near the end when when uh Roland runs into the three shape changers who all appear to be Stephen King. And at the and there's two baskets, they have two baskets with them, and one of them has a bundle of dying snakes, and the other one is filled with severed limbs, and this is the episode where the limbs came from.
unknownOh my god.
SPEAKER_01Uh, Laris and Aegon and the other guys. Yeah. And they're going to Bravos, and all of a sudden, dude with a pig runs by. Yeah, I want to know why the pig. Apparently, no reason. Why him? Why the f why is he the first guy? How's he the first one that attacked?
SPEAKER_09I want you to miss it. I think he stole that pig. Remember that the uh camera followed the pig man.
unknownMm-hmm.
SPEAKER_09It wasn't just like there's a pig guy in shot, and then he's gone. No, it's like focus on pig guy. Pig guy's important.
SPEAKER_01Well, I thought it was supposed to be like from like Aegon's or Laris' perspective. Like on horseback scene this guy go by.
SPEAKER_05That pig was actually Aegon, and the guy on the horse is just some burn victim.
SPEAKER_01Wow.
SPEAKER_09Um This this made yuppie scene was brought to you by Lean.
SPEAKER_04It was not.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Uh then they see other people fleeing, and they're like, hey, there's some mootons.
SPEAKER_09Yes, the mootons.
SPEAKER_01Who the fuck are the mootons? They're from Have we heard of the mootons before? No. Thank you. Okay, good. Okay, so this was just brand new shit.
SPEAKER_09No, it's not brand new. It's just something we haven't heard.
SPEAKER_01Okay. So the mootons are sworn to Rainy, apparently. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Cut to, it's really crowded at the Renfair entrance. So the dude wants to go somewhere. I didn't catch where he's gonna go.
SPEAKER_09What are you talking about?
SPEAKER_01I have no idea you knew.
SPEAKER_09Because I the next scene I have is it's lunchtime at Raran Hall.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, with the witch and aamon and Allie. I would like to know who decided, Fran and Ollie.
SPEAKER_09That that's the way that three people should sit at a table together.
SPEAKER_01Isn't it wild that they all sit next to each other like that? I think the next time I go to a restaurant with three people.
SPEAKER_10Just make sure you get make sure you have them push tables together and then all of you sit on one side.
SPEAKER_09What are you doing? What? Isn't this how people dine together? Hold my hands. Hold my hand. We will eat.
SPEAKER_03I think that's a good one.
SPEAKER_09Then you must throw your dishes.
SPEAKER_01Okay, I'm making totally making this up, but I wouldn't be surprised to find out if it's true. I think a lot of times royalty sat with their backs to a wall, right? A very narrow, if because you've a lot of times you'll see like scenes where the the family is sitting up at the front or the guests are sitting up at the front of the banquet hall, and their backs are to a solid wall so that nobody can get in there and stabby stab or anything like that.
SPEAKER_09Well, part of that is also as a presentation to the to the problem.
SPEAKER_01Yes. So maybe that's just it. They're just and plus it's easier for servants to serve you if you don't if they don't have to like jockey around the team. Why isn't every restaurant set up like that? It's just a big U. It's like I guess they do that at Tepanyaki places, but you know. Yeah. Because all the all the good stuff's in the middle. Moving on.
SPEAKER_09So it gets weird because uh there's discussion about how uh the crown is falling apart. So uh Amen suggests that he and Alice are going to start a new thing and um be awesome. And Alison just like, who the fuck is Alice? And he's like, no.
SPEAKER_01The funny part is so tell me how you met.
SPEAKER_09Well, I just showed up and she was here and saved my life. Yeah. But and then now happened.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So we're gonna make a brand new place. It's gonna be awesome. It's gonna be my kingdom, no stinky guys allowed, and just the cool people.
SPEAKER_10Foo foo doo-doo heads.
SPEAKER_01A new dawn.
SPEAKER_10And you could be here with us, mother.
SPEAKER_01And Alice is like, no shit fucking cunt. What are they eating? Were they eating like whole ass peppers? There were whole ass like poblano peppers on their plate. Who eats that?
SPEAKER_09I really you know, I had um I had two things I noticed regarding the food is that uh number one, all of their forks have two tines and no more. And um one of them like a tuning fork. Just yes, but a very short one. Or a barbecue fork. Whatever you want. And and that that uh Eamon had a piece of meat on one tide of his fork for the vast majority of that scene. Oh, I didn't even notice it. And it was perfectly cuboid. I suspect it was actually a chunk of brownie. Because it was too weird colored to be meat.
SPEAKER_01I think it's chicken nuggies.
SPEAKER_09It couldn't have been chork and nurgots because it was like chocolate brown. It wasn't chork and norget orange.
SPEAKER_01Could have been a furrough shape.
SPEAKER_09Again, it was cuboid. They cut it in a cube. Stop fucking with my dreams.
SPEAKER_07It was chork and nurgits! No, it was brownies!
SPEAKER_09Oh man. Anyway. So Moon's army searching for Lannister because apparently he has all the gold.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_09So there's a discussion about whether or not Tyland and Aegon and and Laris should stay together. And Aegon's like, no, I'm not gonna fucking be a coward. I'm gonna get off my horse, and you two can do whatever the hell you want, because I'm not gonna be I'm not gonna go down on history as a craven king or one killed by his brother. I'm gonna go in and fuck some shit up. And Tylan's like, well, then I'm going to stay with you, which is very cool of him.
SPEAKER_01And then the others behind him just fuck off.
SPEAKER_09I'm out. His men just abandon ship, and Laris goes, Yeah, I guess I'm done too. Bye.
SPEAKER_01Yep, I'm I'm going.
SPEAKER_09See ya. I can't help. I have one good leg and I like to jerk off on people's feet, so I'm leaving. I'm gonna see you guys later.
SPEAKER_01Have a tea.
SPEAKER_09I'm off to find feet. I gotta go to onlyfeet.com. It's probably real. I'm not checking. I'm guaranteeing you it's real.
SPEAKER_01I've got a don't ask me how I gotta check from there. So they're in the middle of an avenue, and it's literally like everybody has to go around them. It's so fucking rude. They can't just get out of the way for a little while. These people go through the forest to get the fuck away from the army. I mean, it's not like they have to be in the middle.
SPEAKER_09Uh onlyfeet.com is not a website.
SPEAKER_01What? Yeah. How is that possible?
SPEAKER_09I've got 20 bucks.
SPEAKER_01It is now.
SPEAKER_04Jesus, do you know how much money we're gonna make?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's gonna be great. But you know what's funny? It should be just like a total trap site. It's just be like feet of like animals. Like, look at this foot of a jabboa. Look how cute it is.
SPEAKER_09Eileen.
SPEAKER_01What?
SPEAKER_09Feet of chairs, feet of tables. All kinds of feet. Like a ruler. I could post poems and say, look, there's a foot, there's a foot, there's a foot, there's a foot. And some pedantic fuck is gonna say, That's an I am, and I'm gonna go, means foot, suck it! Onlyfeet.com.
unknownOnlyfeet.com.
SPEAKER_09I got so many great ideas, and none of them are good. Anyway. We move on. I'm gonna sit back for this scene because I imagine that you loved it. And I don't want to steal your thunder here.
SPEAKER_01So Sheep Stealer is attacked from above by Car Axis. Oh, really? You think this scene? Okay. Yeah, because there were four fucking dragons in it, dude. Yeah, it gets better later on, though.
SPEAKER_09This scene brought to you by Monster. Not really.
SPEAKER_01Don't cut my ad. No. All right. So I did notice that his demon lands on Corax. He's on Coraxis, right? Yeah. His the way they did the CGI is awesome because at one point his hair just goes. Yeah. Like the worst hair movement in CGI.
SPEAKER_09Hair and and clothing and water are very difficult to model.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. That makes complete and total sense. They could have given it another 15 minutes. Can we run the uh smooth out the transitions a little? That's all I'm asking.
SPEAKER_09I don't want to complain about what we've done here, but uh, can we can we give can we give Diamond's hair another pass?
SPEAKER_10Because it looks like a fish stick bouncing around behind your head. A blonde fish stick.
SPEAKER_01Not good. Or as they call them in England, fish fingers, which is weird because fish don't have fingers. Of course, chickens don't have nuggets either.
SPEAKER_09You should have seen the nuggets out. I'm just kidding.
SPEAKER_01Oh, we see some nuggets in next episode, I think. Anyway. Did we? We see a nugget.
SPEAKER_09We're gonna have to talk. I'm not sure what you're talking about. Alright, so where are we? We're confused by what you mean by nugget, but we'll move on. He lands and he he runs over to see Raina, who is getting off a sheep stealer, and they yell at each other, and there's a lot of noise.
SPEAKER_03Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01And she's like, her whole goal is to kill Vagar so that the queen will like her again.
SPEAKER_09Yeah. She wants to kill Vagar or die for absolution. That's her goal.
SPEAKER_01And so he's like, I'll help you fight Vagar. Then there's this whole, you know, I was alone too. Oh my god. Should we just invalidate her feelings by going on about how he's the victim? I don't think so. But then he ends with, let's ride together and save the day. So then there's two more dragons incoming. And it was Bela and Adam. No, it was Rainero. It's Adam and Rainey. Yes. Adam starts, so Rainey or uh Raina has run off into the she's running towards the hills. And so Adam just starts chasing her. And then she brings he basically brings her back struggling. I'm like, man, how strong you gotta be. You holding a whole ass person and they are struggling like that and you're carrying them that far. Dang.
SPEAKER_09I mean, she's pretty slight. Uh and he's a very burly fella. So I imagine he's probably, you know, he can handle a squirmy, a squirmy, a squirmy lady. Squirmy lady. Squirmy lady.
SPEAKER_01I guess. All right.
SPEAKER_09So I mean, if I went and picked up my kid right now, it'd be basically the same thing.
SPEAKER_01So there's a four dragon standoff right now. Oh yeah. Rainey sees that it's Raina drive right riding, driving, stealing, whatever, sheep stealer, and she's pissed. That should be the whole theme of this these two episodes is somebody is pissed in like every scene. Except for uh there's a little bit of glee.
SPEAKER_09There's a little bit. We'll get back to that.
SPEAKER_01We do get an epic dragon battle here. And I wrote, this is what I'm talking about. This is what I wanted to see when they said House of the Dragon. Rainey and Raina escape on Rainey's dragon. And Sheepstealer's pretty well fucked. Did he die or did he limp off?
SPEAKER_09Because the deal was that everyone else would leave and Caraxes would uh would fight and destroy Sheepstealer. But he lets him go. But not so much that he lets go as that Damon was undragoned. Can you do that? Is that like being unhorse? He was thrown off, and then Sheep Stealer got away, and then Caraxes was like, Hey D, what's up? You're on the ground.
SPEAKER_01Like a big dog who's supposed to chase after the bad guy just licking your face. Was I supposed to hint out why?
SPEAKER_09Was I supposed to finish beating the shit out of that old one?
SPEAKER_01That's an ugly fucking dragon. So we've got Missy and um the Madam from town. Is that what I'm together?
SPEAKER_09Yeah, I'm glad that you don't have a name for her either because I just wrote Madam, something or other.
SPEAKER_01I I said Missy and who is this?
SPEAKER_09Um the the madam.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01So they're talking about. Presumably the one that she used to uh work for.
SPEAKER_09Work for. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but I thought she was the one in charge. She was the white worm. She was I don't know. I don't we have no way of knowing. It just changes randomly.
SPEAKER_11I don't know nothing about who was.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so she's basically going on about how everything's cool and she's so tight with Rainy. So if you know if you ever need anything, you know, Rainey's hard to get hold of, but you come to me and I'll pick the perfect. She's basically offering to lobby, I think.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, and she's like, listen, you uh bend my ear. I will approach her when her mood is conducive to being receptive to this, yeah. Yeah. And she's like this conversation goes from bad to worse, and then it goes awful. And I just I didn't understand what the point of the scene was.
SPEAKER_01I think it was to take Missy down a peg because then they argue over who or what Missy really is. So this madam's like, you just brought me here to show off. That's it. Best not forget, you know what? Once a whore, always a whore. That's how they see you. That's how you're always gonna be remembered.
SPEAKER_09So why you can take the whore out of flea bottom, but you can't take flea bottom out of the whore? No, that's not gonna work.
SPEAKER_01I think I don't know if that's right. You can take the fleas out of a whore's bottom, whoa, whoa! But you can't lead her to drink.
unknownWhat?
SPEAKER_09So we have Oh, this has gone worsey Worsington. Okay.
SPEAKER_01Two dragons have returned to the dragon dock. This reminded me so much of a spaceship dock, like when the spaceships come in and they land in the, you know, the landing bay, and they get the big opening behind them, and they get off, and then there's guards behind them. I was like, this is just like a scene from Star Wars, only they're getting off of dragons instead of coming out of spaceships. Yeah. I mean, it is the exact same setup.
SPEAKER_09Give her a room, I don't want to see her. And then off in the distance, you hear no parking on the yellow line.
SPEAKER_01You know, it's the front of the building is for loading and unloading only. Do not leave your car unattended. Unattended vehicles will be towed. Thank you for visiting Donald Trump Airlines. It's huge. It's just him at the end going, it's huge.
SPEAKER_06I know. Joe Biden, Joe Biden shit my pants.
SPEAKER_05Very nasty, very, very nasty, man.
SPEAKER_01Alright, so we have back to uh special part two. Yeah. Yeah. She's Allison's brought him a little drinky drink. She has seen the berries out in the yard earlier when she was out taking a little walkie-walk.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, because she's took she took uh Sir Sir Aiden's dagger and then went, wait, wait, wait, wait, berries.
SPEAKER_05Did we skip that part?
SPEAKER_09Yes, we did. It's okay. Because we just covered it now, it's fine.
SPEAKER_01All right.
SPEAKER_09And and I every time they're together, I just don't want to look at it because I don't want them to kiss. I don't want them to do either. And they don't. Good. And and it's funny because she's like, I brought you something that's that spiced spiced wine. You couldn't sleep without it. And I wanted her so badly to say, hot chocolate.
SPEAKER_01He tells her he tried to kill Aegon. And she's like, um, oh? Um Well, what are you gonna do? Cut to Yorick on a book. Just a skull. Alas.
SPEAKER_10For Yorick.
SPEAKER_01And uh Rainey's having her hair taken out, and Damon comes in. Now, this servant girl, is this the same servant girl she's always had?
SPEAKER_09Yeah, this is uh what's a bucket? Okay. Yeah, I I I keep forgetting her name throughout my notes.
SPEAKER_01She was a much bigger character this this episode, these two episodes.
SPEAKER_09Uh she's been a character of some substance throughout. But she talks in this one. She does have words.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_09She has words. That's she has words. You know what, listener, you come here for wordsmithing. But tonight And we smith them. Tonight, fuck you. How about that?
SPEAKER_01Hmm. I found a ton of things. Hang out, hang out. And this girl's clearly not comfortable. She does not want to be there. That's like when you're the nanny and the couple comes home and they're gonna fight and they say, Don't leave.
SPEAKER_09You're like, oh no. Yeah, because if if uh she's standing there, the presumption I think is that Damon must behave.
SPEAKER_01Well, I don't know.
SPEAKER_09Because there's a witness. I don't know why it would ever matter to him otherwise, because he's a dick no matter what happens. But I guess he's kind of like, I don't want to I don't want Linda to think that I'm a cockass. Well, buddy.
SPEAKER_01Damon's trying to explain away his his treating how he treated Raina, how he he had, you know, knew where she was, but didn't tell her, and she's like, She's my daughter. And he's like, then they talk about York, and I thought that was the guy, and then just let's some stranger's head on my desk now. What the fuck, man? And she kicks him out. Then we see, oh yeah, Raina's gotten c cleaned up, right? She's looking clean. Um, Bayla's come. Um, but she's she's pissed about everything too, and she's gonna be cool with uh with Raina.
SPEAKER_09So I was kind of impressed by this scene because I thought for certain it would be she's just gonna walk in there and deck her sister. Well, uh and she was like, no, you'll be fine. You'll you'll be all good, you'll be good.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01I think when she saw her, she was like, Oh, yeah, she's pretty broken. You know, I don't know that they expected her to be so uh fragile, maybe mentally. I don't know. Um, Ellen gets a box, and I'm like, oh, a body part! What body parts in the box? Let's play what's in the box. What do we got? It's a finger! Hey, how do we know whose finger it is? Cause it's got a ring on it! And we're assuming that he recognizes the ring because it's his dad's finger. Yeah. That's why he's like, oh, by the way, whackadoo, just like the end of four rooms. Um what?
SPEAKER_09The movie Four Rooms. Oh, you watch movies? What's that?
SPEAKER_01Quentin Tarantino.
SPEAKER_09It would have been four toes if it was his, wasn't it?
SPEAKER_01Four rooms is amazing. Okay. It probably doesn't hold up well. I think okay. It's four different directors, blah, blah, blah. Anyway. All right. Uh Alan comes. Uh so uh Alice is there, she's got her owl. Eamon comes in and he's kind of like all over the place, like, oh no. And he like passes out and she's like, God, you're so fucking stupid. She poisoned you? You fell for you're so fucking stupid. Why am I with you? What dude? Why? Why am I here?
SPEAKER_09I like it when he does his Tai Chi. Oh, that's still I'm still doing Damon's voice. So all of a sudden we see Helena giving birth. Nope, it's a dream. And then she's a dream. And then she's standing in a garden, nope, it's a dream. And I'm like, this looks like AI shit. Stop it.
SPEAKER_01And then she's riding dream fire, burning a bunch of folks. What is great? And then she's feeding chickens with the gray mare and her kids, and there's an eclipse, and there's some snow, and I'm like, what does all this mean? Nothing. Um, nothing.
SPEAKER_09It will eventually, but right now it means nothing.
SPEAKER_01Uh, Rainy's decided to get up and do some shit, so she throws York in the fire.
SPEAKER_02Um I never thought to name the skull. I love it. Mike wants to say something. On my notes, I wrote, York gets thrown into the fire.
SPEAKER_11Hey!
SPEAKER_09I just wrote throws throws the skull into the fire. I didn't even think that the most famous skull in literature, and I whiff on it. That's alright.
SPEAKER_01Catsar Rainy talking to Missy, and she's accusing Missy of making her the way she is.
SPEAKER_08And then Missario's like, no, your father did it.
SPEAKER_01And Missy's basically yesing her everything, right? Yeah. And then they schmooch. Well, and then they do more we believe. It's implied.
SPEAKER_09What I didn't like about this scene, because I have to talk about it, is that Masaria walks across the room and basically climbs on Rainero's shoulder. And she is really close. And Renero turns to her left, and there is Maseria's crotch.
SPEAKER_01And she says She is standing uncomfortably. So so Rainey's sitting on the bed, right? Or she's sitting on like a couch thing?
SPEAKER_09She's like on a like a footstool or like a chest or the bed. I don't know. She's low to the ground.
SPEAKER_01Yes. And so Missy comes and stands, literally crotch to face.
SPEAKER_09Yeah.
SPEAKER_07What is she put her foot up on the bed while you're at it?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_04Oh, Mrs.
SPEAKER_07Robinson.
SPEAKER_04You're trying to seduce me.
SPEAKER_09She asks the vagina if she's worthy. And I was like, what is this? And you know, it's weird. Everyone on the internet made a bunch of fluff about them making out. I don't care about that. It was the preliminaries that disturbed me. Don't yell at a vagina. Don't.
SPEAKER_01Well, she was okay. She was not yelling at her. To be fair, especially it. No, she was not talking to her looking at it while she worked. No, she was not. She was talking to her abdomen, my friend. If you think that's where the vagina is, I think we should talk. Um baby swim out of the butt, right? No. No, no. And to speak to her vagina, she would have had to have one leg on the couch.
SPEAKER_09European all proper. It was a crockle thing.
SPEAKER_01She was talking to her uh, let's call it muff. Just the front, front foofy part. I'm guessing they didn't shave. I don't know.
SPEAKER_11So I'm yakking at her bush. And I'm like, am I worthy? And I'm biggity bam, we're making out.
SPEAKER_01Anyway. That's how it happens. That's how every date ends. All right.
SPEAKER_11Just another day in the life of Roger Tagarian. I'm gonna be queen forever. What if that was the character?
SPEAKER_01Agan and Tyland are sitting around the campfire. Being miserable. They are by the wagon again. Have they not gone anywhere?
SPEAKER_09They went back to Rook's Rest, remember?
SPEAKER_01But they're now they're back by the wagon again.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, they were that's where the red wagon is.
SPEAKER_01The rusty wagon. So they just stand there as this knight comes up and he's like, I'm he gives the whole speech about here for Ray, and you can just bow down now and say everything's cool, and then you can be part of her army or whatever. And Aegon's like, fuck you.
SPEAKER_09Then shit starts to get weird. Because Aegon is like, look at me, I'm me, and I'm all of my titles.
SPEAKER_03Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_09And you guys fucking suck. And while he's yelling at how this by the way, it's not just a guy, it's not just a knight, it's a whole fucking army. Mm-hmm. And the army starts getting a little uncomfortable.
SPEAKER_01Uh-huh. They start backing up, and he's like, I am kicking ass. Look how big my nuts are! They are so afraid of me. Now, I heard the noises before they even indicated it.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01So how did although we're gonna guess that Aegon's ears were burned.
SPEAKER_09So well, he's got one ear that's burned, and the other one is behind a hood, and he had an earbud in because he was listening to a podcast.
SPEAKER_01Of course, as you do under your hood. Um turns around, sunfire has come through the bushes behind him, and Aegon turns around and he's like, the fuck. And immediately goes, Yeah.
SPEAKER_09And um the whole thing, Tylen drop into the ground, that goes pretty hard right there. You know, holding his sword up and shielding himself. That was pretty cool. All those guys are done.
SPEAKER_01Well, you know, you gotta get under the chin. Under the chin is the safe place to be if you're ever in a you know situation with a dragon under the chin.
SPEAKER_08I remember that when I'm you know up against a dragon.
SPEAKER_01So Ulf and Hightower are having a nail together, and Hightower's talking about Damon slapping Ulf. Oh, right, because Damon had found him in the in the tavern and gave him a good cuffin. That will come back.
SPEAKER_09That's foreshadowing everybody.
SPEAKER_01This is the final scene.
SPEAKER_09Yeah.
SPEAKER_01It was so weird. And Ulf's like, hey, I tell you what, you just make me lord, give me some cash, I'll take Honey Holt. Which is apparently next to Tumbleton. Honeyhold is where the Beely wheelies live.
SPEAKER_09Oh my god. And uh he's like, How about Driftmark instead? And won't they laugh?
SPEAKER_01Hyter's like, you could be Lord of the tides.
SPEAKER_09Won't they laugh when they see where you've gone? And then Alf goes, no, I will burn.
SPEAKER_01He's such a ra he's such a Rex Manning. Okay. And that's the end of episode seven, and we're only an hour and nineteen since so we've got to speed this the fuck.
SPEAKER_09Well, the second half is gonna go quicker because there's a lengthy mat.
SPEAKER_01Yes, there's many. Okay, so we're not gonna do the recap because we just did that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So uh the episode is called Treasons at Tumbleton. Where the fucking whatever is whatever. So HBO Magic. That's right. Sifting alli Sifting Alliance?
SPEAKER_09Shifting is what it says, Eileen.
SPEAKER_01Okay, I wrote Sifting, and I that was a type of Shifting alliances irrevocably reshape the war as Ranera's forces converge around Tumbleton. Fuck it, I'm not doing it again. And both sides vie to gain the upper hand. So, you know, classic finale shit.
SPEAKER_09So did they did he did they like pour all the dry ingredients in an end sift, or did they sift them separately?
SPEAKER_01This the alliances?
SPEAKER_09Yes.
SPEAKER_01It's uh it's just a box of alliances. You have to sift them yourself, and then you get a lucky scoop, depending on what's left behind.
SPEAKER_09Oh, should you use like a like one of those squeezy sieves or just like a like a like a like a oh sucker.
SPEAKER_04Sir, are you okay?
SPEAKER_01Like a sluice?
SPEAKER_09I might have had.
SPEAKER_01Like are you talking like a sluice? Or like a panning tri uh like a pan or uh sifter like a powdered sugar. A sifter, yeah. Sifting alliances. All right.
SPEAKER_09The priest is walking. Have you ever seen a joke die in utero? You just did. Oh Christ. Anyway, you know.
SPEAKER_04Okay, you know, I may have had a do it.
SPEAKER_09I've had a small to medium stroke just now. So Oh!
SPEAKER_01Well, this'll be far then. This will be more fun. Okay.
SPEAKER_09Haven't eaten anything for a while.
SPEAKER_01Oh no. The priest wants to see Rainey, so uh Rainey then we find out Rainey then goes bursting into Damon to let him know that Aegon is alive and Sunfire is alive, and they flew off and she's pissed again. Pissed. So he fucking tut her and shh shh her and I wanted to slap him. If I were her, I would have slapped him. And then Damon's like, you can do this. They talked for a in Valerian for a while. It was just another pep talk and just showing off the fact that he had made this language. It's the only reason nothing of substance was exchanged here.
SPEAKER_09I actually know. I disagree. It was substantive because he basically says, It's time to stop being nice. It's time to start murdering everyone. And Rainey goes, you know what?
SPEAKER_01But that's what he's always said. He's never said anything different.
SPEAKER_09She finally buckles, and it looks like, at least to me, they both kind of get semi-aroused by the idea of murdering tons of people. But that's just me, I guess. Anyway, next scene is Bela asking about the search for Corlus. And uh and Renee says, No, you are needed elsewhere, and then she kind of goes off. On Rainy. Oh, yeah, she does. Like well, both of them go off on each other. Bela's just like, you don't you you just use people. You're you're mean and you're bad. And Renier's like, grab her face. Like that.
SPEAKER_05Don't you don't you give me that attitude, young lady.
SPEAKER_01I'd you'd I'd call their their conversation a draw. It was definitely a draw. Nobody won that one. They were both pretty uh equally nasty.
SPEAKER_09Well, ultimately, Baila's grounded.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_09Both figuratively figuratively and then little.
SPEAKER_10Hello, everybody.
SPEAKER_01So Alan is receiving Alan! Maynard? Who's Maynard? I don't know. They're the men of the Driftmark.
SPEAKER_04They're the rescue corus.
SPEAKER_09Oh yes. Oh, these these fellas from Driftmark who come up to be the new uh Gold Cloaks, and it's like, uh Listen, you're gonna do what I say because I am my dad's son and I am the the the the guy. So you're gonna do what I say. Did we get like a four-second shot of Hugh watching something happen?
SPEAKER_01I don't know. I said my next my next note is that Damon is going out and it's a busy day at the Renfair.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, and I think Hugh uh sees him leave.
SPEAKER_01Okay, Darren's watching from above and Ormond's having his armor put on. He's such a fucking tool. Okay, he's going to knight Darren because he has to be a knight before he can be a king. I thought, is he I wrote, is he really gonna just kill him? He's got him kneeling down there with a sword by his throat, but no.
SPEAKER_09He calls him Darren the Daring. He gives him a weird, a weird knight's um oath. It's not the normal one. I think he just made it up.
SPEAKER_01Well, I think George R. R. Martin wrote and made it up. And uh Gawain's watching approving the do you think he just made one up that's not real just to make him think he was knighted?
SPEAKER_09I mean, I would assume that Darren, in his in his histories that he had complained about a couple episodes ago, learned about what happens when people are kniged and how that goes. He's probably heard the oath that other knights have taken and probably said, um, Uncle Ormy, this is bullshit. Ulf's in a bar, he's drunk.
SPEAKER_01I thought he was in the kitchen of the castle. He could have he's just boasting and blah blah blah blah blah.
SPEAKER_09Buy a beer in the process. He's another pint for the so-and-so. Uh and they'll they'll all laugh when they see Ulf the White, and he stands up on a bench and puts his hat on, and he's all like, and I was expecting someone to go, Yay, but no one did that, and it was really disappointing.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01Like, oh well.
SPEAKER_09Then we get Alinda again coming by to tell Ranera that Helena hasn't eaten.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_09And then um um Ranera tells her in in um in reply that you gotta go get me air Alan because we're gonna we're gonna take a bunch of dudes to the sept and I'm gonna get dipped in oil.
SPEAKER_01Mm-hmm. Because somebody had told her like they were gathering outside of the sept to pray to see who the real true ruler was, and she's like, Yeah, I'll tell them who the ruler is. I'm gonna go get myself anointed. Um, and in the meantime, Missy is sent away with money and servants, and they packed up her shit.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, I I got a scroll, I got a notification from ESPN that said the blacks have uh released Maseria from her contract.
SPEAKER_01Oh, that's that's uh that's astonishing. You know, I didn't see that coming, honestly.
SPEAKER_09The cap hit's gonna ruin them right there.
SPEAKER_01Do you think did Damon send her away or did Rainey send her away?
SPEAKER_09Raina, Rainey sent her away. I think I think she probably caught wind of the fact that she was basically selling favors.
SPEAKER_02Because Raina called back the handmaiden when she was leaving, she says basically columboed her and said one more thing, and then we cut to later the handmaiden going in and telling Missy what was going on.
SPEAKER_09Gotcha gotcha. And but but uh Alinda didn't really understand why necessary.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, she seemed sad.
SPEAKER_09Or at least confused by it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Uh cut to Helen crying in the garden. And the knight who looks like Steve Irwin has come to get her.
SPEAKER_11Right, so it's time to go back inside. You had enough time with the crocodile.
SPEAKER_01So she goes into the courtyard and there's the gray mare. Dun dun dun and the cart. So she freaks out.
SPEAKER_10Well I did.
SPEAKER_01As Missy is leaving, she walks past Helen and she's like, don't trust her.
SPEAKER_09Yeah. She does not have your back. She's using your your unborn child as a pawn.
SPEAKER_01Damon's dreaming, he Alice gives him a drink, he realizes Allie poisoned him. They talk about the relationship, he's whinging in some sort of petty pity way. Um tells him about a boy being burned. So okay. So Alice is healing him, right? And then gives him a backstory. Is this her backstory?
SPEAKER_07Yeah. Is she the queen or the lord, the lady, or whatever? Lord Heron's wife. Oh. She's very old.
SPEAKER_01Well, not in Targaryen, remember, they live a really long time. Don't they live like 300, 400 years?
SPEAKER_09She she was cursed to live forever by the dabbling she did in in like magic. Ritual magic. To have to stay in Heron Hall, and she would never age. And so that's why Amon is attracted to her because she's an old lady.
SPEAKER_01Oh. As we know. Okay. Well, you know what? Good for him. He's got a type. Good for him.
SPEAKER_09Everybody needs love. That's good.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Rainey's in Helen's room telling her to eat, and they're talking about Viserys. And Helen's like, Have you seen the Beatles? And she's like, I'm more of a Rolling Stones girl. She's like, they're beautiful. They only come, they they live on waste, but they're gorgeous, and all your shit is just ugly. And it just goes on and on about how like lists things and it's like ugly. Your shoes? Ugly. Your face? Ugly. Your kids? Ugly. Your taste?
SPEAKER_09Ugly.
SPEAKER_01Your husband?
SPEAKER_09Ugly. Yeah. And their sisters. I keep forgetting their sisters. That's a little weird.
SPEAKER_01You know what? Uh at that age I probably could have gone on and on and on at my sister. But like that. Just saying. So Rainey tries to make her eat, and she's like, fuck off. It tries to go back to her embroidery. And uh they drag her, the knights drag her to her tasteful and like force feed her. It's not pretty.
SPEAKER_09No, what they do is they they suit board her. They do. This is suit boarding. And it's ugly.
SPEAKER_01No, I'm sorry. It's suit boarding. Fuck off.
SPEAKER_06You're so proud of yourself.
SPEAKER_09Suit borsting. That's good. Okay. All right. So the drift workmen get set up in King's Landing. Adam and Alan have a really bitter discussion about honor and duty and um being legit and all that shit. And the Queen's the Queen's uh attitude and and uh Alan is just like I'm just here to do my job. You leave me the fuck alone.
SPEAKER_01And Adam's like, you're sell out, man.
SPEAKER_11And then Reneer comes sell Rhaniera comes out in attire.
SPEAKER_01Mm-hmm. This is very Joan of Arc from my like textbooks as a kid.
SPEAKER_09I feel like if you're going to church, you shouldn't wear chain mail.
SPEAKER_02I'm just I said it was all uh Dibsney Evil Queen attire. Dibsney? Yeah. Dibsney, I guess.
SPEAKER_01You cannot say the actual name.
SPEAKER_02That's right. It's Dibsney. Dibsney Evil Queen.
SPEAKER_01Ray and Guard are heading to the Sept to be anointed, and they she gets into the Palanquin with Joffrey. Still hard to say. Um we get a drone shot of the castle, which was cool.
SPEAKER_09And these are the battlements around Tumbleton we're on, right?
SPEAKER_01Yes. Gawain and Darren are on the parapets looking out over the walls. And there are small boys taking their places along the wall. They don't want to be up there. Oh shit, they are shields. I said the kids are shields. Hightower is tearing up the town looking for Ulf, who's missing. Because he's supposed to come in with his dragon and just like fuck everybody up. Darren notices Ormond's freaked out. So he's like, I'm just gonna take my dragon out, right?
SPEAKER_09Well, there is a thing that happens prior to that. Um yeah, what's that? That is that they go to visit Corless in jail.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I missed that.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, because there is a point where Darren um Oh, this is that's the next scene.
SPEAKER_01Gain and Darren go to Corless to ask him for help, and he won't do it.
SPEAKER_09Yeah. So Wayne pulls a knife on him, and I'm like, what's going on now? And then they cut away to a tumult in Flea Bottom that allows Maseria to abandon her cart and run off.
SPEAKER_01She just basically slips out the passenger side.
SPEAKER_09Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And tumbles off and runs away.
SPEAKER_09And then uh Renero C somebody wrote Rainey sucks balls on the on a wall.
SPEAKER_01Then he starts I'm not sure that's exactly what it's like.
SPEAKER_09Then she starts telling Joffrey the story of Aegon the Conqueror in the Palanquin. Why do you do this now? What else are you gonna do? Well, I don't know why she does.
SPEAKER_01So that he's distracted and and so he's not seeing what's outside and and his own.
SPEAKER_09I think also she might be telling him because in about five minutes, she's gonna tell fucking everyone.
SPEAKER_01A knight tells Damon that a knight from the castle's come out with Lord Corlus, so it's Gawain.
SPEAKER_08Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So Gawain's out there and Roderick's there giving him shit.
SPEAKER_09Roderick's fun. And I didn't type anything to the scene because it was just great.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_09Because it was a good scene. I mean, you have a lot of a lot of heavyweights, and then you got Roderick who's just being a complete jackass. I love it.
SPEAKER_01It's basically Gawain's taken Corlus, and he's like, look, I want to sue for peace. My uncle's a douchebag. Yeah. Yep. Give Darren Old Town and they're talking about how to divide up the lands.
SPEAKER_09Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And because there's a rule that women can't be in charge.
SPEAKER_09They speculate that that's part of Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But Rainey has a lot of dragons, which is kind of ups the bar a little bit. Damon's asking, what happens when Aegon comes back?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So we do all this, then what? Aegon comes back and it's all fucked, because then he's back on the Iron Throne and he's gonna do whatever the fuck he wants to do. And it's just not going the way Gwen thought it would, right? Damon's being a jerk. Corlus uh is now Damon's prisoner. So he's like, I'm gonna take him and you go back to the castle.
SPEAKER_09It was cool. It was a good scene. We cut back to Heron Hall. Eamon is waking himself up from another dream and running around, and he hears dragon noise, we hear dragon noise, we see dragon. Dragon comes down and it's it's on fire and Aegon.
SPEAKER_01Eamon's like, what the fuck? Is this another dream? Yeah, I this was the best. So this is what I thought was gonna happen earlier. I'm alive! Yeah. Aegon approaches him and Eamon's just staring at him, disbelieving, because I'm sure he's thinking, Am I dreaming? Is this another glamour? What's going on? I thought this kid was dead, and then he just slaps just full meat slapping sound, just it was very full cheek. And then he yells, I'm alive.
SPEAKER_09Like this these two episodes are are Aegon heavy, and as a consequence, they're very good. Yes, I enjoyed that. I I think he's really he really ended up being a fucking great well, the actor's outstanding. Um, and I I I enjoyed the hell out of that.
SPEAKER_01So Amon begs for his forgiveness, right? And Aegon just takes that time to say all the things he needs to say. Mm-hmm. Right. He really wants a fight, and Amon is not cooperating because he knows he's weak. He can't fight him.
SPEAKER_09I could cut you in half. Please forgive me. He's like, Well, we'll see. First, you gotta help me with a bunch of shit, and then maybe, maybe after I'm back on the throne and everything's copacetic, maybe then I'll forgive you.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. But then he sees Alice. Yeah. And she's like, Who the fuck is this? Who the fuck is Alice? So he's like, get up, get up, we're going to Tumbleton. When he's like, Who is this? He goes, My betrothed.
SPEAKER_09That's a little bit of shock, a little bit of shock in Aegon's face when he says that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So Aegon tells him the plan. And then Damon and the tiny uh tiny boy are talking about strategy. It's Oscar Tully.
SPEAKER_09Why do you keep forgetting who Oscar Tully is?
SPEAKER_01I can never remember who this is.
SPEAKER_07This is Tiny Man, Tiny Man, Tiny Boy, this little boy.
SPEAKER_09Tiny tiny boy, Viking guy, and and uh Doctor Who go over plans. And then someone runs up and goes, Um, your grace, they're using children as human shields. And Damon goes, Yep. Okay, we're gonna do our plan, but do try not to hurt people. Right, Roderick.
SPEAKER_01You think Roderick, go over the walls, open the gate, and then you can die.
SPEAKER_09But you cannot die until you open the gate. Gate open, then die.
SPEAKER_03It's like yes.
SPEAKER_01So Rainey and the priest have a back and forth about her him anointing her, and he won't do it. So now he's a traitor. Mm-hmm. And uh she's like, Well, now I have to kill you. So Alan's like, I'll do it.
SPEAKER_09So he kills the priest. He kills the septin. Oh no. Outside, the people do indeed gather. And then this is where I I really noticed that Renera's eyeliner sucked. Uh what was that?
SPEAKER_01I think that was on purpose.
SPEAKER_09I didn't like that.
SPEAKER_01She had like two red lines that kind of went like bisected her eye.
SPEAKER_09I don't like that.
SPEAKER_01It was weird, and it was red. I don't know if that was supposed to be a character thing.
SPEAKER_09She tells the story of Aegon the Conqueror, and then she also talks about the prophecy about the Night King in this speech. And I'm like, what?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And the might of dragons will be the only thing to stand against it. Through this whole thing, Joffrey is listening and looks bored as fuck.
SPEAKER_10He's like, I want to play Stardew Valley on my Switchboard.
SPEAKER_01I've heard the story so many fucking times. I've just heard it in the right over to you.
SPEAKER_09Maseria shows up to listen to the speech, and then at the end of the speech, in Valerian, for some reason, she yells, I am the prince that was promised. And um, okay, cool story, bro. Jamin gives a much better speech on the battle. I don't want the best of you, I want the worst. That's such an awesome line.
SPEAKER_01That's a very good line. I wrote that one too. And then we get Blades Out! And then we get some awesome flash mob choreography. We get the Viking row, lots of shield banging, lots of dabbing going on in that field.
SPEAKER_09So much noise. There's kids in the battlements listening, and one kid pisses himself, the other one throws up. The kids thing bothers me.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it should. I think that's on purpose.
SPEAKER_09It worked. And then they they get back, they cut off the banging and clanging, and and and Roderick goes, Send the fucking arrows! You boy touching cunts, and then the guy next to him just gets blasted by an arrow. Not even a little bit. He doesn't even get he doesn't even get Kristen cold. He just gets gone. Yep. Gone. And he looks at him and he starts growling again and they're off. And it's so great. Even Damon looked like, oh, these Northmen.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna tell you, did you see how far they were from the walls? Yeah, that was a hell of a shot. By the time they run to those walls in full armor, they're all gonna be down the bottom of that wall going, just give me some.
SPEAKER_09Oh I gotta stitch it real bad, but can you put the ladder up? I'll get there in a couple of things.
SPEAKER_01Anybody got a banana? I need a banana really bad. Cramp.
unknownOh, fuck, fuck.
SPEAKER_11Hey, three banana. Close to the wolf can never crap.
SPEAKER_01But they're telling Almond, or we see them telling Ormond that Alf has disappeared, and then a rando tells Ormond that Gawain tried to entreat peace.
SPEAKER_09He's pissed. Yeah, he goes off on one. Alf is still fucking missing. This is a really great fight. And it's not quite Battle of the Blackwater fight, but it's really, really good. Roderick does get up on top of the on top of the wall, and some kid just kind of like pokes him in the leg with a sword, and he thinks about it for a minute and turns around and just smokes the kid in the face with his battle axe. And there's the one point where I'm like, Roderick, dude, come on.
SPEAKER_01I was like, damn, he cut that kid's head in half.
SPEAKER_09He split the kid's face in half.
SPEAKER_01Here's what I will say. That kid thought that was the coolest thing ever. The kid who played that character is like, this is fucking cool.
SPEAKER_10For the rest of my life, bro, that one time I got cut in the face with an axe.
SPEAKER_01I had an I had okay. Were you an extra on the TV program? Damon's horse has armor. Yeah. Now, on Damon's horse, you have the saddle, and then the armor starts immediately behind the saddle, and it's got spikes approximately I'd say 11 inches long. Why not just 12? Why did you say 11 inches? Seemed reasonable. Alright, whatever. I don't know. Okay. All I can think is one wrong move. Like if you leave. Back a little too far in your saddle to sit down.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, pierced in the kidneys.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's just okay. So Damon does a lot of trenches.
SPEAKER_09He does a lot of handle jumping here, doesn't he?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah, he goes back and forth. Uh nobody nobody can find Ulf. That's trying to get the siege engine in place. Peasants are running through the Run Fair, and all of a sudden, Hugh has shown up for an unknown reason. I mean, we know why. But um Thame is like, isn't he supposed to be guarding kicks? Why the f why is he here?
SPEAKER_07Someone find out why. Why don't you just go, hey Hugh, why are you here?
SPEAKER_01Right. Caraxis is burning the walls pretty good. I thought he wasn't supposed to do that. He was told not to use his dragon, right?
SPEAKER_09He he used his dragon to get through the gate. And the funny thing is they deliberately put a bunch of kids right in front of the gate. And even Damon goes, get out of the way.
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_09He's like shooing children out from in front of the door. And I as far as I understand, they all got out of the way before he burnt the gate.
SPEAKER_01I think that's the implication. Uh no, there were two that were still standing in front of it, but I didn't see if they got up out at the last minute or not. I thought I saw them get away at the last minute.
SPEAKER_09Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Maybe, but it was one of those things where Damon had to just decide. He's like, most of them left, but there's two there, and he's like, I gotta do this. And hard decisions. Yep, there you go.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, and uh this is this is one of those humanizing moments for Damon because I think otherwise he wouldn't give a shit. But he's trying to maintain the illusion that Renier is not a monster.
SPEAKER_01Right, because she told him that. She said, Don't make me a monster.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01We didn't say that, but she did say that.
SPEAKER_09She did actually say that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_09Don't make a monster of me. So he gets off Caraxis and gets back on his horse and then goes through the gate, and then immediately loses his horse.
SPEAKER_01There's lots of splurting and clanging and axe to the heads, and Roderick is looking for Ormond while the others are sent to find Darren.
SPEAKER_09We should mention that the gate did get open. And uh Roderick.
SPEAKER_11Lots of gate open, lads! And let's get a fucking alive!
SPEAKER_09My favorite cat.
SPEAKER_01Here's where we see the nugget. Rolf is sleeping in a privy, and his one ball is hanging out. I wasn't looking at his ball. And then Ormond's beating the fuck out of him.
SPEAKER_08Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I said, Ah, there's Hugh looking for Kat, his wife, and she sadly. Well, we don't know that yet. Demon is attacked. Um, so he's fighting. And now we find oh, I thought Ulf, because what's his bucket had given him shit, had changed sides again back to Rainey, but he didn't. So Gwen's trying to talk Darren out of going to battle on his dragon to Sarion. That's a very good name for a dragon, by the way. And uh here comes Ulf, and he's burning all of Damon's guys, and Orman's looking pretty fucking pleased with himself.
SPEAKER_09But then Roderick finds Orman. Well, yes.
SPEAKER_01I shouldn't have. There was a guy taking out Damon. There was a guy taking out Damon's eye, though.
SPEAKER_09Uh Roxton, this is this is uh Orman's Lieutenant Roxton, John Roxton, and he and Damon have a really good fight. And it's not going well for How do you know his name? Because uh I looked it up.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I'm like, because I thought this was just random big guy from Orman's army.
SPEAKER_09So that's uh that's Roxton, that's his buddy. And uh they have a great fight. Anyway, and then and then my boy Roger gets up on on the top on the wall, and he fights his way over to Orman, and he puts up a good fight. He's got a shield up to Ormond's neck and is about to finish him off. Then Orman stabs him, cuts his arm off. There we go, that's one. And I like that. That was that's a severed arm.
SPEAKER_01And then doesn't Orman throw up seeing the severed arm or something? And then he gets stabby stabbed in the kidneys by Roderick.
SPEAKER_09Uh he didn't get stabbed in the kidneys, my dear. He put that knife directly up his ass. Oh. Okay. And that's why he says the best line. That's a proper fucking from the north. And I cheered. I was so happy. And then Al flies by and says, you know what, fuck you too. And he sees Ormin and Roderick's just got his arms out, grinning, and laughing. As the dragon fire burns them all.
SPEAKER_01Burns everything. It was so cool. And then uh Damon's covered in rubble. And we get the everything is quiet until it's not battlefield trope, right? Where he's concussed, so he wakes up and he can't hear anything, and then as he comes to, all of a sudden the battle gets really loud.
SPEAKER_09He's got his head in the bucket of pudding for a while there. See?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and then we see a girl walking by, she's missing a hand. That was crazy.
SPEAKER_09Damon is looking at all these people who suffered as a consequence of the war, and it looks like he might have felt a little thing.
SPEAKER_01Maybe something.
SPEAKER_09Like, I can't believe we went to this extent. It wasn't supposed to be like this. And then he murders a bunch of dudes.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Corliss tells Damon that if Ulf that Ulf turned and they're leaving.
SPEAKER_09Did you see the look on Damon's face? Corliss captures him and he goes, Wait! I can't do it because he can't see me, but he looks like mid-turn. He gets startled. Ulf is turned. We're leaving. And they just go.
SPEAKER_01And then Helen picks up her tapestry and goes to the window. And I said, Is this the tapestry from the opening?
SPEAKER_09No, it's not.
SPEAKER_01It's not. I was so disappointed. I really wished it had been. I wish she had been documenting all of the things that had happened using this tapestry. That would have been amazing.
SPEAKER_09Anyway. That would be great. We also see that Gwen and Roxton survived. This is where we find out that Hugh's wife, Kat, has died. Somebody trips over, of course. Tumbleton is just wrecked.
SPEAKER_01And then back to Rainian Joffrey.
SPEAKER_09Yeah. She's going upstairs and Alinda goes, Your grace. I got some. And she looks shook. Yeah. And she oughta be. Because it turns out.
SPEAKER_01She tomined! But she hung the tapestry halfway out the window as a little clue.
SPEAKER_07Yeah. Oh, by the way, you guys, I'm jumping out this window.
SPEAKER_01Just so you know which is. Just in case you were wondering where to look for me on the bottom. And then we cut to Alicent out in the woods, and there's a bunch of butterflies around here, and we're supposed to believe that this is Helen's spirit sending him. I don't fucking know.
SPEAKER_09Now, there's some controversy surrounding these butterflies because apparently they are some sort of a subtle fuck you to maybe or maybe a nod to the things that were left out of what he wrote and how they boned that, apparently. I have not read Fire and Blood, as I said before the record. So to me, this was a lot of fun.
SPEAKER_01So the last panel, so the last panel of the tapestry. Is it the city on fire? What was happening?
SPEAKER_09It's a city on fire and Helena falling to her death.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I didn't see that part. I'll have to go back and look. Okay. So she stitched it in before she did it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04That's amazing.
SPEAKER_09You know, you gotta be dedicated to to embroider your suicide note. That's that's fucking it's gonna take me a while. I got plenty of time to talk myself out of it, but since I started, I'll finish, I guess. Now I gotta jump out the window.
SPEAKER_01And this this Danny uh Danny, oh no, I said Wow! I know. Rainey does one of those things where you watch her face and you see like 8,000 emotions cross her face before she finally has that determined look. And that's our end. And that's it. So do you think we missed anything, Michael?
SPEAKER_02My only thing is why were there spikes underneath Helena's window? Was that just not a room in the castle? That's a really sad question, Mike. Because I don't think you put spikes outside of anybody's windows all the time. So why were they there? Well, they were prisoners.
SPEAKER_01Her and Alicent were prisoners.
SPEAKER_02So did they install them under the window because they were there? It's like we've got these guys in their prisoner. It's a room, it's a nice room. Normally it's a regular room, but it's a prisoner room now, so we've got to put some spikes underneath the window just in case they decide to jump out.
SPEAKER_09I'm gonna say this in defense. That's a nice fucking room for a prisoner. Right? Yeah. They weren't prisoners so much as they were captives. Yes. Yeah. And I doubt they would have put spikes. Because that sort of valuable captive would only be bad news.
SPEAKER_01Were they prepping for battle?
SPEAKER_09Maybe it might have just seen it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, maybe. I don't know, it just seemed weird. Now we don't know.
SPEAKER_01That's a two-hour show, folks, so thank you.
SPEAKER_09Mike, I'm sorry you have to edit this.
SPEAKER_01It's alright. Let us know you listen. You know, send us an email. RoyalHighnesspod at gmail.com. Is it just on Facebook? I don't know. Some of them. Send me a raven. I want to thank our producer Mike. Thanks, Mike! You're welcome. And those fine folks don't read your next product. Okay, so what's the kit what's the plan here, kids? Uh next week, what? Should we do a a house full House of Dragons recap kind of a thing?
SPEAKER_02Or yes, let's let's do a recap thing. Uh I came up with a good idea for something, kind of a game. But we can play that game. We always like to play the games.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And then the week after we're gonna do the movie, go back to Oot and Crew. We gotta do the Last Kingdom movie, and we'll talk uh offline about what we're gonna do after.
SPEAKER_01Alright, because uh yeah.
SPEAKER_09I forgot all about Oot and the movie.
SPEAKER_01I remember that last minute today. I was like, oh, we haven't done the Last Kingdom movie yet. But we can't wait to come back again next week and do a House of the Dragon recap.
SPEAKER_00Royal Highness is produced by Injured Nerds Productions and is available on all major podcast platforms. The opinions and comments expressed here are those of the hosts and their guests, and are not affiliated in any way with HBO or the Game of Thrones series. If you want to contact us, you can do so at RoyalHighnesspod at gmail.com. Thanks for listening. We hope you come back to listen again.
SPEAKER_01Okay, can I can I okay, Mike, you can put this at the end. I'm gonna rant here because I went and saw the Odyssey. So we can't. Are you familiar with the creator Dude Dad? No. Okay. Just look him up. He he's just a fa he's a family-friendly creator. He does stuff about his family, and they've got like four kids, and there's a whole thing. He's done stuff with Charlie Barons and a couple other creators, uh, the You Betcha guy. Um mostly Midwest stuff. I think he's in Cal Colorado, though.
SPEAKER_08Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But anyway, the guy who played Tenassus? Isn't that Odysseus' son? Right? Looks like Dude Dad. So the whole time I'm watching this epic three-hour fucking movie, I'm watching Dude Dad play Tenassus.
SPEAKER_09Telemachus, by the way.
SPEAKER_01Telemachus?
SPEAKER_09Is that his name? Telemachus. I'm not entirely sure.
SPEAKER_01Telemachus? I don't know. Whatever the fuck the kid's name is. He looks like Dude Dad. In my head, he's Dude Dad. So there is that. Oh, you you mean Tom Holland? Yeah, Tom Holland looks like dude dad. Or maybe Dude Dead looks like Tom Holland.
SPEAKER_06Oh my god! It's fucking Tom Holland!
SPEAKER_09Okay. He's a child. Tom Holland is definitely not a child. Talks like a child.
SPEAKER_01He was totally unbelievable in that character. And don't get me started on Mad Damon as Odysseus because Tom Holland is 30 years old.
SPEAKER_09That's insane. Uh you know what it is, is that good, clean living. I I heard a lot I heard somebody in particular got really comp really complainy. That's a word now, about um the fact that the the script was was not appropriate. And then there were other people complaining about it.
SPEAKER_04It wasn't historically accurate.
SPEAKER_09How the myth of Odysseus wasn't historically accurate. Yeah, that's I want you to say that again, but each word you need to think about when it comes out of your mouth what it means. Exactly. And then I want you to think about how fucking dumb you are for thinking that myths are accurate in any way.
SPEAKER_01How could a black person play Helen of Troy? Oh, I don't know. It's a myth!
SPEAKER_09Also, maybe because Troy, if I'm not mistaken, is in Turkey. And there are black and brown people in Turkey. Correct.
SPEAKER_01Many of them.
SPEAKER_11So it's like Terevskai once said ladies everywhere, dumbass.