Soul Food
Soul Food
Broken Beyond Repair (Part 16)
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Six broken lives stand transformed on this powerful episode exploring God's ability to repair what seems irreparable. Meet Orestes, who spiraled from childhood substance abuse into seven years imprisonment for attempted murder, and whose addiction to meth, heroin, and cocaine left him believing change was impossible. Hear Brianna's heart-wrenching account of witnessing her father's murder at age four, followed by years under an abusive stepfather that left her depressed and suicidal.
Sandra's testimony will shock you—her resentment toward her constantly fighting parents grew so toxic she contemplated murdering family members. Meanwhile, Ashley and Daisy spent years attempting to fill their profound emptiness through partying, promiscuity, and failed relationships, finding only deeper despair. Perhaps most striking is Jacqueline's thirty-year battle with hard liquor that cost her thousands of dollars and countless memories.
The transformations are equally powerful!
These aren't just stories—they prove that no life is beyond God's repair. People who once smelled of alcohol and drugs now radiate peace wherever they go. Those crippled by hatred now love freely. If you're struggling with addiction, trauma, or emptiness, take the "Broken Beyond Repair Challenge." Call 1-888-332-4141 or text "CHALLENGE" to 1-888-312-4141 and discover that you too can experience a complete transformation.
Introduction to Broken Beyond Repair
Speaker 1Now streaming on all major podcast platforms, edifying your mind, body and soul. We welcome you to listen now to Soul Food with your main host, bishop Joshua. Here we are always ready to share a word of faith. Unpack powerful testimonies and divinely inspired music to enhance your faith. Walk, feed your faith wherever you go, quench your spiritual hunger. Give the food that lasts forever. Here on the soul food podcast.
Speaker 2Broken Beyond Repair the untold stories of those who were once broken.
Speaker 3They were once broken, but God has repaired, renewed, transformed their lives. Today, we are going to see the stories of all these people. Today, we are going to see the stories of all these people In this ministry, in the Universal Church. These are the people that we welcome. These are the people that we seek to help those who are broken, those who are completely down, destroyed. They are considered lost case, lost sheep, black sheep, you name it.
Speaker 3But Jesus came for people like that and right now, together with Pastor Samuel, we are going to hear the dark side of their lives and I want you, who are watching me right now, if you relate to their stories, take the challenge, the challenge of this program, broken beyond repair. Let me prove to you that you are not beyond repair. Let me prove to you that there is a solution, there is a way out for you. By my side, I have lady and she's going to tell us about her dark side. Your name, my name, is Sandra. Sandra will tell us her story. Let me introduce you also Orestes. Orestes, he's going to share with us the dark side of his life. Also, we have here today Brianna, Briana. Briana also had a horrible life since she was young, but let me prove to you that there is hope for you. Pastor Sal, who do you have over there?
Speaker 5I have here by my side Miss Jacqueline right, Miss Jacqueline.
Speaker 6Jacqueline McLean.
Orestes: From Prison to Purpose
Speaker 5I also have Ashley, yes, and Daisy, this person, bishop, that's living a life of dependence, depending on an addiction. They can be free. It's not too late. Don't give up. There is hope for you.
Speaker 3Orestes, the mic is yours. Who was Orestes back in time?
Speaker 4Well, it started off for me, bishop. It started when I was young. I would see my parents smoke. I started at eight years old, I believe nine. I would see my parents smoke and I would grab their cigarettes.
Speaker 4Living with a family that's also in addictions, you see and you follow and you do. It led me to a life um prison. I did seven years prison. Um, I was lost, but homeless. Um, what addiction didn't I have? I was addicted to meth, heroin, cocaine um, crystal, um, if it. If I wasn't sniffing the cocaine, I was injecting it. If I wasn't smoking the heroin, I was injecting it. If I wasn't homeless, smoking the heroin, I was injecting it. If I wasn't homeless, I was looking for the drugs. I was lost, bound, I mean, you name it Coming out of prison, being in a dark place. On top of that, my family was involved in witchcraft, so it made my spiritual life a lot darker. Nothing seemed to go right. Everything was wrong, the problems in our family. It just kept going and going and going and I didn't know how it was gonna stop.
Speaker 3Orestes, tell me about those seven years in prison. How was life in prison there inside behind the walls?
Speaker 4Well, I went to prison. I just turned 19 years old and I got a sentence of seven years. I'm spending my adulthood in prison with a baby on the way. My baby mom was six months pregnant, a daughter in a way, and I get sentenced to seven years. Well, what was the charge?
Speaker 3211, attempted murder and gang enhancement okay, and then you stayed there for seven years. Yes, sir, did your life change inside or you got?
Speaker 4worse in prison. As a matter of fact, from seeing the way my father was, I follow along. My father went to prison, so I went to prison. One thing that I did recognize that I was becoming just like my father. The same lifestyle, the same patterns. Nothing got easier and I thought that was just the way to go.
Speaker 3So seven years in that dark place, seven years, seven years when you came out of prison. How was life outside? Because I do go to prison, I do pray for people in prison and you know what? All inmates, offenders, and some of them are watching us now and they always say I want to go to the free world, but when they leave prison it's a different story yes, the reason why it's so difficult.
Speaker 4When you go in prison, you accustomed to the scenario, the surrounding, the lifestyle there. You have to accommodate yourself, your mind and your lifestyle the way you think. In other words, you do time and don't let the time do you. So you come out of prison and you confront reality, you confront people and any little attitude, any negative thing, you're going to respond the same way as if you were in prison. So it becomes a mind thing and it's easier just to go back to prison and deal with the same thing, to come out and deal with reality.
Speaker 3Okay so you came out with the prisoner's mind. How old was your daughter when you came out?
Speaker 4My daughter was six, going on, seven years old.
Speaker 3Wow, and how was life outside prison? I came out expecting.
Speaker 4I wanted to do good. I wanted to, but unfortunately, because of my circumstances and my situation, everything just got worse. I tried to do good, but nothing else changed Everybody around me, including my family. Everything just got worse.
Speaker 3You are watching us right now and you say I came recently, I came out of prison and you are struggling. Come to see us, nobody wants you. Fine, I do. Come to see us and come the way you are. If you are doing drugs right now you have crack, okay, you have rights now cigarettes, you are drinking every weekend, you drink non-stop. You cannot be a father, mother for your children. Come to us a few. You are going to see how God repaired the life of arresters. Let me go now to Brianna. Brianna, have you been to prison? No, sir, no. Have you been doing the things he did?
Speaker 7No sir, but I did have my stepfather, that did.
Speaker 3Okay, the stepfather did. I'm asking you this question because somebody may say but I did not go to prison, I was not like arrested, fine, but maybe you had the same problem. Briana had. Listen to it now.
Speaker 7So when I was four I lost my father due to someone that was drunk and mistaken him as a gang member. From that my mother actually started with the addictions. She would leave me and my younger brother home alone and that's when my depression started, because I did have depression. After that my mom did remarry and from there my life just went downhill even more. I was a living hell.
Speaker 7My stepfather would drink, smoke, marijuana, crack in the house, invite friends over and I would see him hit my mom and because of that I didn't have trust with anybody. I was always looking over my shoulder because I was scared that someone was going to hurt me. I didn't trust any man. I didn't have trust for anybody. I was always rude. I had depression and because of that I wanted to commit suicide. I fell into the deepest depression, but of course I never let anybody see. I did have friends that wanted me to try drugs, to smoke, to drink with them, but I didn't want to because I saw how that affected my life at home. It got to the point where we had to leave the house for a few days because my stepfather was drunk and he was hitting on my mom and we couldn't take it anymore. And that's when my anger, my hatred for any man started.
Speaker 3You said for any man. You started having problems with men like hating men for what you saw at home.
Speaker 7Yes, sir, it started with when my father got shot and he got killed in front of me, and then because of my stepfather as well, seeing that, okay, well, I get my father taken away from me, and then someone new comes into my life and he's just the same as the guy who killed my father.
Speaker 3So wow, wow, wow, hold on please. So you saw your father being killed in front of you. Then somebody came into the picture to replace your father, married your mom, but you saw this stepfather doing the same, the guy who killed your father doing yes sir, how old were you?
Speaker 7I was four when this happened, and then my mom remarried when I was six.
Brianna's Dark Past and Trauma
Speaker 3So you were still a child, a little girl, and you had these two traumas. Yes, sir, inside of you, yes, so you suffer from this trauma. You saw your father, your son, somebody be killed in this family, in front of you. Until today, you don't know how to overcome. You have been searching for inner healing. Stay tuned, don't go away. Briana is going to prove to you that this brokenness inside of you can be repaired. I have also here on my side Sandra yes, sandra who had also similar problems, situations in life. Sandra, tell me about your dark side.
Speaker 8It started at the age of 12, where I carried a lot of sadness and anger inside of me, because at school I would always hear my friends talk about their family, how their family was perfect, how their family would always go places every day, or even the weekends. And my family was different, because I would always go into my house and my parents arguing a lot, and it was a nonstop thing. So every time that I would come from school I would hear the arguments. I would just go to my room and start crying, have the lights dimmed, because I didn't want to hear my family fight anymore.
Speaker 8And I always ask why I'm stuck in this family, why I'm in here, like why can't my family be perfect like my friends? So I always had that thought and anger started growing inside of me. So every little things that my parents would talk to me or my siblings would say, that anger grew in me and I would always had a physical, physical fight with my sister, you know, because she always always got on my nerves, let's just say, and she always knew how to pick on me and get me upset. And so it was then that I just had that hatred towards my family.
Speaker 3So Sandra, I'm sorry to interrupt you. So you used to see one family at school, the kids talking about a good family, but going home it was a different story. Yes, sir, you were like those people who watch movies. They watch movies, tv, and they want to have what they see. Not so often what we see. You know what you see on the TV, the happy couples, the actors. Not so often what you see is real. That's why, from time to time, you see all over the news the killing, the murderers, the divorce, because life is not a performance. Life is real. In a film, you are going to see the transformation, the life of Rihanna, orestes and also Sandra, but not Pastor Samuel, not just them. You have other guests there.
Speaker 5Yes, bishop, this person who is in suffering, they can reach out because these here with me, they were in suffering as well. These ladies, they were in suffering, but God set them free. Tell me, ashley, what was the suffering that you were going through.
Speaker 9Basically, before I started to come into the church, um, I was having like a lot of emptiness inside of me. I was trying to do anything to like fill that void, like partying, um smoking, going out to clubs, um sleeping around with different dudes, um all those type of things just to fill those voids.
Speaker 5And let me ask you, by doing all those things, if you don't mind me asking, how long were you doing those things?
Speaker 9So I did the smoking for about maybe from like 17 up to like 21, so around four years or so. And then the partying. I was doing that since like 16 up until 21. So basically I stopped doing everything like at the age of 21, but I was doing everything like in my younger days, like high school days so for four years, or you were there trying to fill the void, trying to fill that emptiness that you had inside of you.
Speaker 5Yeah, I don't think you were able to fill it because you had to do those things for four years, right? Yeah, so for those four years you were trying to fill the void, but you were drinking, partying.
Speaker 9Nothing was helping, right, four years you were trying to fill the void, but you were drinking, partying. Nothing was helping, right, it was only getting worse, and everything just kept like basically going downhill, like I kept trying it but nothing was helping and it was only getting worse but why did you have that void inside of you?
Speaker 9um, because I felt like I wasn't really like loved at home. I didn't have like too much peace inside of me. I was dealing with like slight depression and I was dealing with health issues. So it kind of like make me back away from like going to church and dealing with God because of the situations I was dealing with.
Speaker 5So altogether the problems cause that emptiness. Yeah, and you try to fill that emptiness, but it didn't change anything. No, you said it even got worse, right?
Speaker 9Right.
Sandra's Family Struggles and Hatred
Speaker 5Maybe you're watching us right now and you have this void inside of you, just like Ashley did, because you don't have the void today we're going to talk about in just a few but you have this void, void, this emptiness inside of you. Reach out, because god, he can change this situation. Thank you, ashley. Tell us what was your suffering I was suffering with emptiness. You were empty empty as well I was empty.
Speaker 10I was trying to fill the emptiness with friends, parties with drinks, drinking alcohol and doing all mistakes in my life.
Speaker 5So I can say that your situation was just like Ashley's. You were trying to fill the emptiness, you were trying to fill the void that you had inside. For how long were you partying, drinking, smoking? How long were you in that situation?
Speaker 10For around five years.
Speaker 5For five years.
Speaker 10Yes, and I thought that I need to get married to fill that emptiness. And then I got married and the things got worse because I started fighting with my husband and we didn't, you know, we didn't get together because different lives, you know, he has his problems and I have mine and we only fight in our marriage.
Speaker 5So you even tried to get married to fill that emptiness, but it only made the situation worse. Yes, and how long were you in that situation for the suffering? You said five years right, yes, five years.
Speaker 10And after that I got married it was around two years with my husband.
Speaker 5So let's say seven years or so empty in a void. Maybe you're watching me right now and you say, pastor, I haven't been empty for four years like Ashley, or for seven years, but I've been empty for decades. Now it seems hopeless. I don't know what to do anymore. God is the solution for you. He can fill this void that you have inside. Thank you, ms Jacqueline. Tell us what was your suffering, what were you going through?
Speaker 6Well, my suffering was I was addicted to alcohol. I drank for many, many of years and all of a sudden, two years ago, I just stopped drinking. I woke up. Woke up one morning. I say don't want anything else to drink anymore miss jacklin, how long were you drinking? Oh, I drank for probably 30 years, a long time for for 30 years.
Speaker 5Yeah, you, you couldn't let go of the bottle couldn't let go of the bottle no, sir, but what were you used to drink?
Speaker 6I'd drink anything that was in a liquor store. I'd drink Kavase, hennessy, vodka, gin, hard liquor. Yeah, hard liquor. Yeah, yes, sir.
Speaker 5It wasn't something that was mixed together. You would drink just the pure hard liquor.
Speaker 6I'd mix a little Sprite here, a little grapefruit, something there.
Speaker 5But let me ask you, ms Jacqueline you said for 30 years or so you were drinking right Mm-hmm why?
Speaker 6were you drinking Emptiness? Family life was raised up with always parents fighting all the time and stuff like that.
Speaker 5So, because of the problems that you had at home, because of the situation that you would see in your home, it led you to start drinking.
Speaker 6Led me to start drinking.
Speaker 5And for three decades you were addicted to alcohol, addicted to that situation. You can let go of the bottle. Yes, If you don't mind me asking, how much do you think you spent just on alcohol in those 30 years?
Speaker 6oh boy, thousands and thousands of dollars can't even multiply up or add.
Speaker 5I don't know, I'm not sure if you don't mind, I'm gonna ask another personal question. Did you have a blackout? No, I never had a blackout you never had to black out, but were there days in in which you, when you drank, you got up the next day. You forgot certain things.
Speaker 10Yeah.
Speaker 5Because of the alcohol, you were so inebriated that you used to forget things.
Speaker 6Yes, sir.
Speaker 5Maybe you're watching me right now and you have a bottle in your hand, miss Jacqueline she couldn't let go of the bottle and maybe you have a bottle in your hand as well. You're drinking because of the problems in your family. Maybe you're just like these two here. You're trying to fill the void, the emptiness inside of you. There is hope.
Empty Lives: Ashley and Daisy's Testimonies
Speaker 2Do you feel broken and helpless? Join now the Broken Beyond Repair Challenge and begin to see great changes in your life. Call now at 1-888-332-4141 or text the word CHALLENGE to 1-888-312-4141. To 1-888-312-4141.
Speaker 3Take the challenge, don't give up. Maybe you will say I have to give up because I tried here and there. Well, you tried the wrong people, the wrong place, even the wrong God. But I'm showing to you the right people, the right place and also the right god. You are going to see now the transformation. They spoke about their dark side. You are going to see now how the light of god shone upon their lives. Who is Orestes now?
Speaker 4Well, today I can honestly say I've been sober. My life has been transformed. Now I'm actually able to help people that are going through my situation, that have been through my situation. I can say that when I got sick of being sick, god transformed my life. Say that again. Hold on, hold on. Say that again. You got what? Sick of being sick. When you hit rock bottom, you're down. You're sick of being sick and sick of being tired. I gave God a chance and I didn't have nothing to lose with God. I had so much more to gain. My life has been completely transformed. It was not easy, but the struggle was worth it because God gave me the answer.
Speaker 3You never thought you could ever go off drugs, that lifestyle street life.
Speaker 4I didn't think that style street life. I didn't think that. I honestly thought that I could not. It was impossible for me to stop putting a needle in my arm because I couldn't control it. I couldn't stop. But, god, you're free now, completely free. I'm happy. My life has been completely transformed. Do you have peace or rest? That's the biggest thing. I've been able to receive that piece, the piece that it's like no other and that piece is. It's not just a piece in me, but people can see the evidence of the piece, of the transformation so they see the difference, the old you and the new, you, yeah, and some and some people not to go back.
Speaker 4But I remember one person told me one day that I haven't seen in years. He said, man, I thought you would have been dead by now, but now they see me now and they can't believe and all I can say but God Amen.
Speaker 3Congratulations, oreses, brianna, tell us now the transformation or asses.
Speaker 7Brianna, tell us now the transformation. Now, bishop, it's completely. I'm completely transformed from being a girl that was depressed, had insomnia, would use guys, is coming from a broken home. Now I'm completely transformed. My family now all serve God. We are all united. I no longer have depression. I no longer have any hate. I have peace within me and I have received the Holy Spirit, which is the greatest blessing that I can receive.
Speaker 7But it wasn't easy At first. My mother did invite me and I would just go to please her. It took me a while. It wasn't something that happened overnight. I didn't want to give in. I didn't want to give God a chance, because I was. I felt that if I gave him a chance and he failed me, then I was done, for it was either I die or he changes my life. So, hitting rock bottom, I decided okay, you know what, if God doesn't fix me, if he doesn't give me the transformation that I need, then I might as well end my life. But thank God that giving him that chance, that opportunity to transform me, to renew me, I have been completely transformed in my family as well.
Speaker 7What about forgiveness? Forgiveness, sir. I forgave my stepfather. We have a relationship now, because before I would just get home and I wouldn't even speak to him. I couldn't look at him in his face, I couldn't be in the same room with him. I had so much hatred, but I forgave him. I forgave the people that had killed my, had taken my father away from me. You forgave. I forgave For real. Yes, I did. You forgave the man who killed your father. Yes, sir. And if, how was God going to forgive me for all that I did if I couldn't forgive, you know, the person next to me? So, giving my life to God, he gave me the strength, he gave me the forgiveness, the ability to forgive, because it wasn't me, it wasn't from From my strength.
Speaker 3Good, that is great. So amazing, you who hold grudges. You are holding grudges Against someone you want to forgive, but you don't know how. Come to see us at the Universal Church. We are going to help you spiritually how to forgive, how to let it go. Thank you very much, brianna. Sandra, your turn Ready? Yes, how did God transform your life?
Speaker 8Well, as you mentioned before, you know, watching movies or comparing my family to other family, my friends and I didn't see that I didn't have a perfect family. I had thoughts of killing my family, thinking it was a solution. But once I was invited to come to church, it was a process. It was not easy, it was a process, so did you try killing somebody.
Speaker 3Did you attempt killing your family?
Jacqueline's 30-Year Battle with Alcohol
Speaker 8Yes, I did. I attempted to kill my family. I didn't have a list written down, but it was a day to day. Depending who got me upset, I'm sorry.
Speaker 3What was the plan? What do you have in mind? I'm asking this because I go to prison and they're in prison. We help people that did so. There are many people in prison that killed the entire family and we help them, but we know that before they killed somebody, they had these evil thoughts. What were the thoughts in your mind?
Speaker 8My thought was just to kill them, just to stab them from the back and everything will be resolved. I thought that was like the only solution that I had, because at that very moment of my anger, the sadness and comparing my family to others, or even watching movies and having that perfect family, thinking that was the only solution I had.
Speaker 3Praise God you did not kill anybody Exactly. You did not kill anybody Exactly. What has God done for you, Sandra?
Speaker 8Now I can say compare my family to the movie. My family is way better than movies. Now you see that the movies are fake, exactly. Yes, now, true happiness. Now I get to talk to my family, my mom, my sister that I used to physically fight. Now we get along. It's like a whole, complete transformation, complete, transformation, complete.
Speaker 3Well, I just showed to you, through Briella, orestes and Sandra, that you are not broken beyond repair. I just proved to you that, yes, you can have your life transformed. But I cannot stop here, pastor samuel, because the gas you have by your side are also living. Prove that nothing, no one, is broken beyond repair before our god exactly, bishop, there is hope for you.
Speaker 5If they, if these three that are here with me, they saw their life change. Your life can change as well. Ashley, you mentioned that you were empty. You had this emptiness inside of you. Tell us, do you still have this emptiness?
Speaker 9No, I don't have it anymore. I don't go out to clubs and party anymore. I don't drink anymore. I don't smoke anymore. I don't deal with the dudes that I was dealing with. I kind of, you know, let all that company go that I was with, that was helping me make those bad choices. I'm at peace with myself. I don't need all those things to fill those voids anymore. It's just, all you know, got better once I came into the church.
Speaker 5So today you have peace. Yes, today you don't want to have that emptiness inside of you, right?
Speaker 9No, I don't need none of those things.
Speaker 5Because when you try to look for the emptiness in the world, you're never going to find it. She tried to and she didn't find, but when she came here to this ministry, you found peace, right, ashley? Now someone else that had emptiness inside. Let me ask you do you still have the emptiness inside? No more emptiness.
Speaker 10I am free of emptiness. Uh, I don't depend on others, I only depend on God so you stop the drinking, the partying.
Speaker 5How's your life today?
Speaker 10Today I'm happy. I have peace. I don't need nobody to be happy. I don't need my kids, even because I depend on God.
Speaker 5So today, that emptiness, that void that you felt you don't have to fill it with your kids, with the husband, with any of that, because the one that fills your void is God. Right, yes, that's true.
Transformation Stories and New Lives
Speaker 3And we don't forget, pastor Samuel, what she told us, right? She was saying that she was empty and she got married to have somebody in life in order to fill the void. And I wonder how many people do the same. They go on a date. They don't know a person, they just go to live together out of the blue because they have this emptiness. But once a person receives the Spirit of God, the Holy Spirit, you shall no longer be empty because the Holy Spirit does it all. Whether you have a husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend or not, or nobody, even if you are alone by yourself, you don't feel lonely because the presence of God dwells inside of you, right?
Speaker 10That's right Now. I am happy. I have peace. I don't need nobody to be happy. All that I need is God. God in my life.
Speaker 5And you see, she saw a change. You can see a change as well. Look over here, pay attention. You can see your life change these two. They're no longer empty, ms Jacqueline. You had. You couldn't let go of the bottle for 30 years, right, ms Jacqueline?
Speaker 6Right. Yes, sir Right.
Speaker 5Now did you finally let go of that bottle, finally let go. When I let go, I let go. Yes, I did, I let go. So you lived for 30 years on the bottle in addiction. What has God done for you, ms Jacqueline?
Speaker 6God has transformed my life. I was baptized with the Holy Ghost and I mean my life is just. I have peace, I have joy, I have happiness. When I'm at work, people say, oh, I feel the presence of God around you and I'm always talking about God all the time. And I mean I just, it's just, it's just different, it's just, it's a great feeling.
Speaker 5I'm sorry to interrupt you, but when you were drinking those during those 30 years at times, could people smell the alcohol on you?
Speaker 6Probably so, more than likely.
Speaker 5So before they could smell the alcohol on you. Today they don't smell the alcohol, but they feel peace around you.
Speaker 6They feel peace around me.
Speaker 5Because you have the Holy Spirit. Yes, maybe you say, pastor, I'm in the same boat. I've been drinking, smoking, doing all these things for decades. All people do is smell the weed, the alcohol on me. Today, miss jacklyn, wherever she goes, people feel peace around her, and you can have this. You can transcend, you can have this peace and you can transmit it to others. You're not broken beyond repair. God can repair you, god. He can change your life, he can change your situation.
Speaker 3They now have this. They're not smiling now, but they're smiling inside. No, now they are. Even when they are not smiling on their face, their soul smiles. Their soul is happy. They are not actors, they are not pretending. You can find the same help.
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