Angela's Story of Survival, Strength, and Starting Over (Part 2)

After surviving a car crash that nearly ended her life, Angela faced even more challenges. But Angela didn’t just survive—she found her voice. In this powerful conclusion of her story, Angela reflects on forgiveness, healing from trauma, and the quiet strength it takes to rewrite your future. From walking again after her accident to walking into classrooms as a future educator, Angela shares how faith, love, and community helped her believe that she matters—and that others do too.

Warning: This episode contains discussions of topics that may be difficult for some listeners, including addiction, trauma, car accidents, family challenges, and experiences with the foster care and juvenile justice systems. Please take care while listening. 

Find helpful resources mentioned in this podcast episode.

Connect with Youth Voice Amplified

• Youth Voice Amplified Podcast
• Instagram – @youthvoiceamplifiedpodcast
• Youth Voice Amplified on Facebook 

If you would like to ask us a question, recommend a topic, or suggest a guest, please email us at youthvoiceamplified@gmail.com.

Credits:

Producers: Brian Johnson, Gennessa Fisher, Kim Silva and Allyson Baptiste
Production Partners: Liam Silva and Kern Education Television Network, the Kern County Superintendent of Schools Office
Theme Song: “Beatitude” by Mountaineer 

Transcript

Audio file

YVA July Draft 2.mp3

Transcript

00:00:00 Speaker 2

Last time on youth voice amplified Angela, welcome to youth voice amplified.

00:00:04 Speaker 1

I'm happy to be here. Then 1313 hit and I was in the streets. That's all I knew. I started doing ******** drugs at 12 years old. Sixteen. I was on 6 Xanax. I got into a car accident on Laredo and 99, my car flip.

00:00:21 Speaker 1

And I was ejected from the vehicle, cracked my spine. My left ear was hanging off, and I I was put into a brain coma and the doctors told my parents, and I have to pull the plug. And if she lives through this, she's going to be a vegetable. She won't be able to take care of herself. And my parents didn't pull the plug. I got through those little days in the coma. I was in a coma for, like, 3 weeks.

00:00:43 Speaker 1

Then the next week they received an eviction notice on our trailer. I remember that's when my PO told me like I needed to be homeless to get more help. I gave my PO the eviction notice and she hooked me up with the Dream Center. Us kids that are not loved correctly like our whole life.

00:01:00 Speaker 1

Coming from like the foster system, we don't know what Love's real. We don't know what to believe. It's like it's a guard. We have a our whole life towards everybody having a boss that, like, genuinely cared about my well-being. It made me like, start being able to to work on myself where I'm at.

00:01:20 Speaker 1

Today and it's better and I love it. And I think like if I didn't go through all that, I wouldn't be who I am today. I wouldn't be in this podcast. I wouldn't have so.

00:01:29 Speaker 1

Much like drive in me to to speak, to be a voice, to make my story heard. Because I'm young, I have a lot of years ahead of me and I I'm I'm ready to see what else is in store.

00:01:44 Speaker 3

Now let's get back to our episode.

00:01:46 Speaker 2

The view starts and opinions expressed on youth voice amplified are those of the host and the guests and do not necessarily represent the official policy or.

00:01:53 Speaker 2

Position of the current County Superintendent, School of office. Any content provided by our guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion. Ethnic group, school organization, company, individual or anyone or anything.

00:02:08 Speaker 3

Youth voice Amplify covers a wide range of topics that could be upsetting to some listeners. Content warnings for each episode and links to resources can be found in this episode, show notes.

00:02:18 Speaker 3

For the purposes of maintaining confidentiality, names and some identifiable characteristics of our storytellers have been changed, but their voices and their stories.

00:02:26

Are real.

00:02:27 Speaker 2

When young people share their stories, they can change.

00:02:29 Speaker 2

The.

00:02:29 Speaker 2

World, but some youth voices still go unheard. Join me, janessa Fisher.

00:02:34 Speaker 3

And me, Brian Johnson, for this youth LED monthly interview series as Young people tell their untold stories of experiences with homelessness, foster care disabilities, teen parenting and more.

00:02:44 Speaker 2

Each conversation will uncover stories of hope strength from our youth storytellers who want to share the best ways that we can all support youth in similar situations as theirs. If you want to know how to do better for youth or simply just be inspired, this is your show. Every youth has a story to tell.

00:03:01 Speaker 3

Are you ready to listen?

00:03:05 Speaker 2

Well, first and foremost, thank you for sharing your story. That was really powerful and I can hear in your emotion in your voice when you tell it and how you're still healing from it. But going on to that healing journey, I feel a lot of our listeners have problems with their parents like that. So how is your perception of your parents change since you've worked on your healing?

00:03:24 Speaker 1

Journey emotionally is healing journey. Look back on hereditary things. Look back on how.

00:03:33 Speaker 1

Mom and Dad were loved like a lot of our parents don't love us correctly because they don't know it. It's not because they were wrong, they just really didn't know it.

00:03:46 Speaker 2

How do you prioritize your emotional well-being while navigating your relationship with your parents?

00:03:52 Speaker 1

I have to send my parents.

00:03:55 Speaker 1

Not at some lower level, not less than others, but I have to set them.

00:04:02 Speaker 1

Aside, I have to because trauma is real and trauma bonds are even realer. So I.

00:04:12 Speaker 1

I have to.

00:04:15 Speaker 1

I set them aside and I just I stay busy so I.

00:04:20 Speaker 1

So I let them all the time, but I only see them when I have time, so it helps me heal grow.

00:04:27 Speaker 1

Not judge them. Love them for who they are and also.

00:04:31 Speaker 1

Be an adult.

00:04:33 Speaker 2

So loving them from afar is is what you use to kind of keep yourself safe? Well.

00:04:38 Speaker 1

Yes, like love them. Like I say, you can see them, but you have to.

00:04:43 Speaker 1

Distance yourself if you want to be better, cause you can stay around your parents. You can see them every day. But.

00:04:50 Speaker 1

You can't come to resources crying about.

00:04:53 Speaker 1

Life like we have to grow in our I feel like our parents are just a vessel. That's what it says in the Bible. You know, like our parents are just a vessel. They bring us here. They're not life long. They don't have to go through everything.

00:05:08 Speaker 1

With you like, they really don't like love them. But like I said, love you first and just love them.

00:05:17 Speaker 1

Like I said, love them all the time, but make your access your time with them short sometimes. Like I love to spend time with my family, my parents. But like I said, it's it's not every day it's not.

00:05:33 Speaker 1

Every day, that's really what it is. Sometimes I talk to them on the phone every day, but.

00:05:38 Speaker 1

I just stay distant to protect myself and not judge them.

00:05:44 Speaker 3

What advice would you give to someone who may be struggling with similar issues with in their relationship with their parents?

00:05:49 Speaker 1

One I don't be. Don't blame them. I think I could say that for me, even through my accident.

00:05:57 Speaker 1

Drug addiction, like I blame my parents for a lot of.

00:06:01 Speaker 1

I blame them literally almost for about everything because of what they did to me, was how I did what I did, but it's really not their fault. They do not force you to do that stuff. They don't. So it's like like they don't bring it around.

00:06:15 Speaker 1

You, like I said.

00:06:17 Speaker 1

They were dealt a deck, so love them. But like I said, you have to protect yourself. Like what? I advise. I took a psychology class like my first.

00:06:30 Speaker 1

Every time you're rolling at VC and I I learned about the brain and I learned about manipulation. I learned about narcissistic stuff I learned about.

00:06:39

Yeah.

00:06:41 Speaker 1

Hereditary like we feel a lot of guilt sometimes distancing ourselves from our parents. We feel a lot of anger sometimes when they can't do.

00:06:52 Speaker 1

What we want them to do but.

00:06:56 Speaker 1

We need to.

00:06:58 Speaker 1

We're old enough now to know right from wrong. We need to protect ourselves.

00:07:04 Speaker 1

Don't think we're better than anybody, but understand what we deserve because not everything and everyone deserves our.

00:07:12 Speaker 1

Time.

00:07:13 Speaker 3

Are there any specific moments or experiences that significantly, significantly impacted your healing journey?

00:07:19 Speaker 1

Think like my accident. Like going to my accident at 16 and.

00:07:29 Speaker 1

Like seeing my whole life flashed in front.

00:07:30 Speaker 1

Of me like literally.

00:07:33 Speaker 1

I I realized life was not a joke and as fast as you were born as as fast as you can die. So I kind of just.

00:07:45 Speaker 2

Yeah, jumping back to your childhood and how chaotic it was for you, what do you remember school being like?

00:07:52 Speaker 1

I when I was younger.

00:07:55 Speaker 1

I like first, second, third grade. I was always from school to school to school. I was from Bakersfield to Wasco, to Bakersfield, to Wasco to Shafter. I was all over, so I kind of never got to, like, be like, like a lot of school didn't.

00:08:14 Speaker 1

Feel like home.

00:08:15 Speaker 1

School. But school was an escape from home, so that was one thing that I loved. I I loved to go to school. Like I walked there, walked home.

00:08:25 Speaker 1

And I am I love to learn like I knew that my whole life when I was in 4th grade, I was a 4.0 student in 4th grade. So I I was testing at a 6th grade level and it made me just love to.

00:08:37

Maybe.

00:08:39 Speaker 3

Learn during school.

00:08:41 Speaker 3

Was there any supportive adults that helped you kind of with the academic standing?

00:08:45 Speaker 3

You were kind of just.

00:08:46 Speaker 3

Or when that.

00:08:47 Speaker 3

You know, you just didn't need help.

00:08:47 Speaker 1

I kinda I I had like counselors at school like, but I moved around so much, so I really never got too close with them. I just would tell them the little bit that I could think of at the time. But like, I had a lot of like family friends that were able to be my counselor. So I would get to come home.

00:09:07 Speaker 1

In school and go to like the neighbor's house, go to my friend's house. I had a neighbor that lived 2 doors down. Me and our son. We shared the same birthday. So like, I'll go there a lot. They would take me on trips with them. I had to like the neighbors are treating me like family. So I wasn't too.

00:09:24 Speaker 1

Caught up on home life, I had school. I had neighbors that took me out. I was happy when I was young.

00:09:31 Speaker 3

Do you feel like the neighbors kind of knew of your situation and kind of wanted to help you? And so to say?

00:09:38 Speaker 1

There is times where the house I lived in was raided. The cops came like 12 cops. Everybody outside, all the little kids outside because.

00:09:50 Speaker 1

Addicts had kids, so their kids were there, so you know, everybody go out so.

00:09:55 Speaker 1

Neighbors would come over after, make sure I was OK. Come over or.

00:10:02 Speaker 1

Like I I can go over there while everything was going down, so I didn't have to witness all that stuff.

00:10:08 Speaker 1

So the neighbors really like, like I said, they were able to help me.

00:10:12 Speaker 1

Like forget about that life. I wasn't too worried about it. I had school. I have friends. I have me.

00:10:19 Speaker 1

It was.

00:10:21 Speaker 1

School.

00:10:22 Speaker 1

Young was good, but like.

00:10:26 Speaker 1

I really didn't.

00:10:29 Speaker 1

Also everywhere so like.

00:10:31 Speaker 1

I don't think I really like live life like as a normal kid. Like I didn't like do little events or anything I was in is that after school program where they all like.

00:10:43 Speaker 1

6.

00:10:44 Speaker 1

O'clock the old parents would come and get you late. I school helped me though, like school helped me learn for one and school helped me know. Like there was a better way out. It was always good to learn something new.

00:11:00 Speaker 2

What role has forgiveness, if any, played in your healing process?

00:11:05 Speaker 1

Forgiveness.

00:11:07 Speaker 1

Is 1 of.

00:11:10 Speaker 1

Like one of the most important roles, I believe from God. So I.

00:11:18 Speaker 1

Even if I don't understand why I'm forgiving you, I still forgive you because you know there's going to be a judgement one day that really matters. So like you hurt me, you say sorry.

00:11:33 Speaker 1

Even if you don't say sorry for my well-being, I forgive you. Because if I don't forgive you, I hold on to that and it and it and it drags on every day and.

00:11:46 Speaker 1

And you feel it and and you and you feel will have it to you over and over again. So I feel like that's one of the most important things. No. Our parents aren't perfect. We're not perfect. Nobody's perfect. Accidents happen. We're human. And it's important to just know, you know, like.

00:12:03 Speaker 1

You have to forgive, like I said, even if you don't understand it, even if, like you feel like, oh, they've done it so much. Don't forgive them. Forgiveness is for your benefit. It's great to forgive.

00:12:16 Speaker 3

And what advice do you have for adults who are in the position to help young?

00:12:19 Speaker 3

People turn around their life.

00:12:20 Speaker 1

One advice.

00:12:23 Speaker 1

Is to heal like the first thing.

00:12:27 Speaker 1

I know when we start seeing counselors, we be scared. We don't want to talk to them. We don't want to say too much, but before we're.

00:12:36 Speaker 1

Like love correctly, we have to love ourselves.

00:12:40 Speaker 1

So one extremely like I said, it doesn't matter how you were loved by your parents or by strangers or friends, your most important thing is to put you first, like life's hard. It really is. And a lot of unfair stuff happens. Things happen that are extremely traumatizing. Painful, but.

00:13:00 Speaker 1

You need to heal. No one needs to hurt with you. You don't need to carry on that.

00:13:06 Speaker 1

That, that hate, that anger like.

00:13:10 Speaker 1

Heal for your own benefit. Nobody else is.

00:13:13 Speaker 3

Do you have any advice for supportive adults who want to help you?

00:13:17 Speaker 1

Advice for them I think sometimes. Like I know, therapy counselors, coworkers, things like that. They kind of tell you all they know, but.

00:13:30 Speaker 1

It's OK to let some people heal on their own, like loneliness. It's not like I know. Sometimes we'd be scared to be alone, but that's how we have to heal. Because if you think like all these people were telling you this stuff or having somebody around, like all that stuff is always going to be there. It's not. So one thing is good.

00:13:50 Speaker 1

He said let me be alone. Let me heal so I can get the best so I can be the best version of myself because when I there's a lot around me, I can't focus. Sometimes I can't.

00:14:01 Speaker 1

I can't get my.

00:14:04 Speaker 1

God's plan aligned with my plan because.

00:14:06 Speaker 1

I want to.

00:14:09 Speaker 1

I feel like personally I lived through my accident was a blessing. The person I'm in now, when those doctors said it would be completely different.

00:14:18 Speaker 1

I have a purpose. I have a voice and I I want to get out and I want to be involved, so I'm not following nobody's way. I'm making my way.

00:14:28 Speaker 3

Sounds like you're you're healing for yourself and not others.

00:14:31 Speaker 1

In the long run, it will be for myself.

00:14:35 Speaker 3

What's the best piece of advice you've ever received and how has it helped you?

00:14:39 Speaker 1

Best piece of advice think is that misery loves company. That was the best piece of advice I've ever been given. Like he's always people are mean to me, you know, cause of me or what did I do? Did I look wrong? Did I dress wrong? Did I do something to you?

00:14:59 Speaker 1

But to be real, like some people are just mean and some people just want you to stay where they are and.

00:15:06 Speaker 1

And you just got to protect yourself 1st and don't hang around. No worry. You're not benefiting. No worry. You're not learning. It's always good to learn. I don't care how old young confused you are. Nobody knows everything.

00:15:21 Speaker 3

What do you mean by misery loves company?

00:15:24 Speaker 1

I mean like when people are sad, they want you sad when people are mad, they want you mad. If someone didn't make it in the career you're taking, they don't tell you you're not gonna make it.

00:15:37 Speaker 1

And that **** is what it is, you know? And it's something. It's not always like jealousy. Sometimes it's like.

00:15:44 Speaker 1

They didn't believe in they sell, so that's all they know. So they just going to tell you what they know. So you just gotta know. That's why I say you gotta believe in yourself. You gotta push yourself and you can't let others affect you like.

00:16:04 Speaker 1

Somebody is alone. They gonna tell you you and that man not gonna get married. Misery loves company.

00:16:11 Speaker 1

Like, just be somewhere you know where you're where. You're alike. Like nobody's better than nobody. But you gotta be somewhere where people got goals. Like you got and want to be involved. Like you want to be involved. Because like I said, it's. I don't even think sometimes. Like, it's not even like.

00:16:31 Speaker 1

Notice, but like people will tell us, you know, we can't do some stuff because they can't do it. Like I would hear that from my parents, you know, like, I couldn't do this. I can't do that. Like I can do it. And and I'm a living example of it right now, but it's like.

00:16:47 Speaker 1

Don't spend time too much in places where you're not valued where you're not respected. Where.

00:16:53 Speaker 1

Your guys's minds are not alike. Like love them always. But don't be there too long because they'll try to hold you to the level they're on.

00:17:02 Speaker 3

Looking back on your life, what are you most proud of?

00:17:07 Speaker 1

I think the most proud thing I am is.

00:17:14 Speaker 1

I am. I am strong like.

00:17:19 Speaker 1

I don't think I met somebody struggling me yet. Like I I went through some stuff and I I went through some stuff as a young age and I and I still go through stuff till this day. I just. I'm proud of how strong I am and how I never gave up. I never. I never stopped. Even when things got hard, even when things got rough, even when I lost my life and I literally had to start over.

00:17:43 Speaker 1

And like literally in a Walker in a wheelchair.

00:17:47 Speaker 1

I literally had to learn how to.

00:17:48 Speaker 1

Walk.

00:17:48 Speaker 1

I I started all over again. So another train of life. So at this point I I'm proud of how far I've came and I'm proud of the person that I am getting ready to be because this is just the beginning.

00:18:02 Speaker 2

Looking forward, what are your goals, personally and professionally?

00:18:07 Speaker 1

Personally, I want to be involved. I don't know. I want to get so involved like.

00:18:14 Speaker 1

Like literally, I'm everywhere. People like sometimes get tired of seeing my face. I literally just want to.

00:18:22 Speaker 1

Help like I I I know I have a story and I know that I have a purpose behind my story. So I want to. I want to be involved, I want to help the youth, I want to help the elderly, I want to help everybody because everybody needs somebody and our world tries to act like you know you're the happiest when you're so independent and you don't talk to nobody, you don't need nobody.

00:18:45 Speaker 1

Like sometimes that brings like sadness, like everybody needs somebody. So I just want to be involved loving on everybody but protecting myself and professionally.

00:18:58 Speaker 1

I'm I'm going to college and working right now. I am going to college for to be for child development because KC SOS is opening.

00:19:11 Speaker 1

A new school and I don't know. I could be a teachers aide. I could be a custodian. I could be a teacher. I'm taking this class, though, and.

00:19:23 Speaker 1

I'm really just. I'm letting God stare me. I'm letting whatever door calls me. I'm going down because.

00:19:30 Speaker 1

Nothing's gonna hurt me. Like I could take a class that I probably won't need for my career, but I'm only going to grow. So I I I just want to be involved. I'm thinking like.

00:19:41 Speaker 1

Teachers aide. I'm even just.

00:19:45 Speaker 1

Just came to my mind, I might start going to school to be a JCO so I could be like.

00:19:51 Speaker 1

All the staff I had in juvenile hall, so I can love kids how I was loved and so maybe I can teach somebody like me younger.

00:20:02 Speaker 1

About like just life, you know, like the way I went through. So that's I just feel like juvenile hall was a big impact on me. So maybe I could be a big impact on somebody else.

00:20:12 Speaker 3

You're studying early childhood education. How did you decide to go into that field?

00:20:16 Speaker 1

I.

00:20:18 Speaker 1

Literally.

00:20:20 Speaker 1

I met a little girl at.

00:20:21 Speaker 1

Work.

00:20:23 Speaker 1

She asked me some questions and I.

00:20:28 Speaker 1

Answered them and they they brought back some childhood trauma, like answering her questions and.

00:20:36 Speaker 1

Four days later, the Dream Center.

00:20:39 Speaker 1

Opened up this program for child development for like I said, the the new preschool that they're opening, they opened up.

00:20:48 Speaker 1

Program.

00:20:49 Speaker 1

And they pay you for all your time. They literally.

00:20:55 Speaker 1

Give you a tour of BC, you get paid for it. You you when you get through the courses or classes like you meet up. They even give you money for that. So I I was struggling. Like at times that's kind of why I didn't go back to school because I needed to work for the money. But program came up where I can.

00:21:15 Speaker 1

Work and get money. So I took the opportunity that the Dream Center Center handed out and I am.

00:21:24 Speaker 1

First semester is the only one we've been through now, but I I aced my finals. I got a 100% on my finals and I I I healed like as crazy as it sounds, that class like taught me some like trauma that I think I was holding on to that I didn't even know. So again.

00:21:44 Speaker 1

I appreciate the Dream Center because I wouldn't have went to school for that and I wouldn't have learned that and been able to take this next step of my journey.

00:21:55 Speaker 2

You talked about you seeing your first semester. What did that feel like for you?

00:21:58 Speaker 1

One to like not even feel like I really had to use a lot of my like I didn't have to struggle like I literally my whole semester. I didn't.

00:22:15 Speaker 1

You know, sometimes schools too much. We we hold off or we pause for a little bit like like my classes. I'll be ready for the next week. Like I learned something new that week. I was ready for something new the next week and I started like.

00:22:30 Speaker 1

Like becoming better as a person inside too, because I was like, that's why my counts are going to tell me that, like, man, I started at birth like that, literally that that started from like mom and dad like, you know, and sometimes.

00:22:45 Speaker 1

Like that's not explained. So I think like the IT was the best feeling to.

00:22:52 Speaker 1

Because, like our finals, were just 200 words.

00:22:58 Speaker 1

No 400 words for each chapter and and I like. I never really use the book. I I literally use my like what I took from class. I wrote in those 400 words like a sentence from the book though because I didn't want to get marked.

00:23:18 Speaker 1

That I didn't do that. I'll take a sentence from the book, but I'll just write about like what I received from class. Like what I learned from that or what I got from that week and.

00:23:27 Speaker 1

And it was the best feeling to to ace something and to feel like I was only.

00:23:34 Speaker 1

Voicing my feelings, it was it was a great feeling.

00:23:38 Speaker 2

If you could go back and talk to your younger self, what would you say?

00:23:42 Speaker 1

One, I would tell my younger self that UM.

00:23:46 Speaker 1

That.

00:23:48 Speaker 1

It's OK. Like, that's really I think like one thing I never knew when I was go to sleep at night.

00:23:57 Speaker 1

Wake up in the morning. I never knew if it would be OK and where I'm at today. I look in the mirror. I say more than it is. OK, so that's one thing I will hug myself. I will kiss me on my.

00:24:13 Speaker 1

Big forehead and I would tell myself it is going to be OK.

00:24:21 Speaker 3

You have a really unique story. How do you hope to use your story to help or inspire others?

00:24:27 Speaker 1

One, I'm going to tell it. I'm gonna. I'm gonna say.

00:24:33 Speaker 1

Everything I've been through because sometimes the world teaches us.

00:24:38 Speaker 1

Hold it in. If it brings up some pain, don't say it. It might hurt you. Or don't do that, but.

00:24:48 Speaker 1

I'm gonna tell my story, and I'm gonna tell it from detail to detail because I'm not ashamed of it. And and that's what made me if I didn't go through that pain, I wouldn't have the goals, the ambitions, like my mindset, if I.

00:25:05 Speaker 1

Fighting her like that, I wouldn't be me.

00:25:08 Speaker 3

Do you feel like telling your story helps you heal in a way?

00:25:12 Speaker 1

Yes, like it, it helps me remember what I went through and it reminds me where I am.

00:25:21 Speaker 1

And it also reminds me for what I'll never settle for again.

00:25:26 Speaker 3

So as far as you pretty much looking into the future, 5 to 10 years from now you you've you've gone through so much and you're accomplishing a lot now, what do you plan to do within the next 5 to 10 years?

00:25:38 Speaker 1

I want to.

00:25:41 Speaker 1

I want to give it. I'm involved with my church also we're bringing in.

00:25:47 Speaker 1

About 400 foster kids from out of states to my church, they're building apartments is on campus.

00:25:55 Speaker 1

So I I'm gonna be involved there, be able to talk to kids and foster kids that aren't able to go to things like the Dream Center and.

00:26:05 Speaker 1

I so I'm going to get involved with kids. I'm going to keep going to school keep.

00:26:12 Speaker 1

I think I'll be going to school like.

00:26:15 Speaker 1

For a long time, like I want to, I want to just expand, expand my brain like you can never know too much. And that's one thing like, you know, some of us. Well, that's all we have to really do is just go to class, get our little semester done for our certificate or whatever. But I want to.

00:26:34 Speaker 1

I'm not where I want to be and I'm nowhere near finish, so I want to keep learning, keep opening new doors, keep being involved and keep like loving people because everybody needs love and I just want everyone to know in the world that they're loved like.

00:26:54 Speaker 1

Even people that are in prisons, even people that do bad things sin, do like crucial things like we have to love them accordingly. But I just want to love people and I just want to be a voice and be involved and just.

00:27:10 Speaker 1

I want to love on people like I needed when I was younger. I just want to love, love and love and love myself.

00:27:17 Speaker 3

You mentioned your church. How significant does religion play in your life?

00:27:23 Speaker 1

Like religion is.

00:27:27 Speaker 1

It is one of like my like main focuses in life like I am.

00:27:33 Speaker 1

My calendar is sometimes, you know, like I said, we only get they they only know so, so much. Well, they could only teach us like what they know or what the book tells them. But like.

00:27:44 Speaker 1

When I first started.

00:27:45 Speaker 1

Therapy. I wasn't going to church and I was. I was getting angry. I was starting to like be mean towards my parents like I was. I was getting angry like I am.

00:28:00 Speaker 1

My church, they I was baptized there they.

00:28:05 Speaker 1

Pick me up and take me to church if I if I wasn't there last Sunday because I'm having car problems or or if I.

00:28:16 Speaker 1

Look like I was not. If I don't look as happy, or if I'm not involved like my church always.

00:28:23 Speaker 1

Checks of bombing like my church, always.

00:28:27 Speaker 1

Make sure I'm OK and like also got like everything I learned from my pastor. Like, that's something else that helps my brain like expand like 10 times more because.

00:28:39 Speaker 1

Like I want to love like Jesus loves. Like I said that earlier. I like get out, love my whole life. But I really look at the world literally like how Jesus does. Because like I said, I just feel like everybody needs love. Even people in prisons, even people that are murderers, like obviously they're in there, they're feeling, you know, they're.

00:28:58 Speaker 1

Never leaving like.

00:29:00 Speaker 1

I just I want to love like Jesus loves and I want to be involved as much as I can. So like I can I can help them because I can say I'm the only foster kid on my church. I'm one of the only kids that are there now. Like all of those other foster kids, but they're out on missions. They're out of state, they're they don't go there.

00:29:21 Speaker 1

So the church I'm at, I feel like like I can be extremely involved and I can help the kids help me and I can also grow my relationship with my father above even more because.

00:29:38 Speaker 1

Nobody love you like God does, and and that's one thing in my healing journey, I learned also, like I just heard, I didn't expect people to do too much for me. Like I didn't like.

00:29:51 Speaker 1

People don't really owe.

00:29:52 Speaker 1

You nothing in life like you owe yourself the world, though. So when I started just.

00:29:58 Speaker 1

Loving on God and he started just like sending blessing my way. Like he literally just started, like knocking on my door. So I I just want to love like he loves get involved as much as he feels like I need to be involved because I'm working for him in this lifetime. I'm not working.

00:30:17 Speaker 1

For myself right now, like I'm not too worried about like, what can happen, what can hurt me. That's one thing. Like when I work, when I work with my father above, like, I get through it through the pain, through the rainy days, through.

00:30:33 Speaker 1

Through things I didn't even know how to get through, but like I said, when you, when you lean on him, it kind of like some things. They do not change right away. They don't change for months, sometimes years. But like, that's one thing that God teaches. Like, if you're faithful to him and you work with him, he's going to take care of you. So I'm just trying to do as much as.

00:30:54 Speaker 1

He tells me to do and protect myself and like I said, love like Jesus loves because I feel like that's the best.

00:31:04 Speaker 1

Love in the world?

00:31:06 Speaker 2

What's something that you used to feel and what that used to feel impossible, but now feels within reach?

00:31:12 Speaker 1

To be somebody like is crazy as it sounds.

00:31:17 Speaker 1

I never thought I would be important. I never thought like I mattered. I never thought like, well, I knew, like, you know, I mattered but like.

00:31:27 Speaker 1

I didn't see too much of like a future. I seen her like I would just be an addict like everybody was around me. But like now like I look in the mirror and I am somebody and it's only starting.

00:31:42 Speaker 2

What is something that you do now that brings you joy?

00:31:45 Speaker 1

One I I'm a custodian. It's crazy as it sounds, but like.

00:31:53 Speaker 1

I I love my job. Like, who's really mad at at at the person that takes out trash. But I'm more than that and my coworkers treat me like that. They really like genuinely love me. I.

00:32:09 Speaker 1

I love to help, so I I love to help them and receive love. And like I said, to also be like growing more in like the work field just.

00:32:22 Speaker 1

Learning like how people are supposed to treat you, how you're supposed to treat others, and what to expect when a check is involved.

00:32:30 Speaker 2

Well, I think it's great that you take a job like that and you give it and make it the most. A lot of people would say that, oh, it's just it's just a job. But you you really make the most out of it and make sure that you're connecting with people and you're still spreading that love and kindness that.

00:32:43 Speaker 2

You hold so value and I.

00:32:47 Speaker 1

Even like, well, with my job, I'm a custodian. I was able to one of the main PO's at a probation school. She requested from me at work one day. If I'd speak to the kids. How was like me? I was like, do I have to come and work clothes? She was like, no, she's like, we'll we'll schedule a day. She's like.

00:33:06 Speaker 1

You wear your outside clothes and I I came in and I spoke to the kids and I they have so many questions for me and they had so many.

00:33:14 Speaker 1

Like.

00:33:15 Speaker 1

How did I do it? Like how they just had a lot of like questions and I I love that that my job put me in that position for people to see my light because I don't just take out trash. I don't just mop your floor like I speak. I love to talk to people. I got like, a couple of people out a couple sites every time at their site. They literally talk to me for like 45 minutes.

00:33:36 Speaker 1

And.

00:33:38 Speaker 1

I love that I'm loved and I love what I do.

00:33:42 Speaker 2

And then as we wrap things up, we'd like to ask you, do you have a life?

00:33:45 Speaker 2

Motto.

00:33:46 Speaker 1

Yes.

00:33:48 Speaker 1

Believe I said. My life motto was to never give up.

00:33:52 Speaker 1

Like.

00:33:54 Speaker 1

Life is hard, and sometimes it will not seem like it get easier, but that's really where I I laid on God because.

00:34:07 Speaker 1

You only gonna get as far as you push yourself, and you don't believe in you. And nobody gonna believe in you.

00:34:14 Speaker 1

So even if it's hard, even if it's lonely, even if you feel like you got nobody, you got you.

00:34:21 Speaker 1

Ohh, you got your father above and.

00:34:26 Speaker 1

It don't matter how hard it is. Don't never give up. Don't stop. I don't care if you're 30405060. Don't stop. It might be hard. It might be rough. Don't give up because.

00:34:41 Speaker 1

You're only gonna get.

00:34:41 Speaker 1

As far as you believe you could get.

00:34:44 Speaker 3

I like that.

00:34:45 Speaker 2

Thank you so much for just being on our podcast with us and really just sharing your story and I love how you're very open with who you are and I think you firmly believe that your story will make a difference no matter where you tell it or who you tell it to.

00:35:00 Speaker 1

Yes. Because like I said, when I was younger, I felt so lonely. I felt like no one understood me. Everybody lived better.

00:35:13 Speaker 1

Like I felt so alone. And then I started like.

00:35:17 Speaker 1

Then I became. I went through that loneliness.

00:35:19 Speaker 1

For a little.

00:35:20 Speaker 1

Bit but I I found who I was so.

00:35:26 Speaker 1

It all just I rewarded from I I won.

00:35:30 Speaker 1

And I received like nothing but growth from me in the long run.

00:35:36 Speaker 3

I would like to thank you as well for having the the courage to Share your story, whether it be the good, the bad and the ugly, and really just sharing your light on the show. I'm sure our listeners would truly appreciate it.

00:35:45

Hmm.

00:35:46 Speaker 1

Thank you. And I think one more.

00:35:49 Speaker 1

I'm excited because.

00:35:53 Speaker 1

I just want people to know, you know, like even if you don't have a relationship with God, even if you're learning who God is, even if you don't know who God is, there's somebody out there like you matter and.

00:36:07 Speaker 1

You're important to somebody. Somebody is going through what you going through. You ain't the only one. And if even if you feel like you are the only one, get up. Tell your story because in the long run you might find out, you know, like someone that could have went through something different but still gained so much knowledge from your, from your story, from your, from your battles that you fought against.

00:36:30 Speaker 1

We still succeeded.

00:36:32 Speaker 3

Angela, thank you.

00:36:36 Speaker 2

First and foremost, I I absolutely loved how she came with energy and she came to be honest and to be real, I really love that about Angela. She she wasn't here to sugarcoat her story even though it was a hard story. It was a hard story for her. And just to hear.

00:36:55 Speaker 3

Yeah. And I like how she was, like, truly resilient, you know, through the ups and downs. She still kept pushing forward, even if she didn't have that supportive adult at all times. That helped her.

00:37:05 Speaker 3

I know she didn't mention her probation officer, but other than that, she really believes in herself and believes she could achieve anything no matter the odds. So I really love that about the this.

00:37:13 Speaker 2

Episode I also think it's really interesting how she values love and kindness and just taking in every person she meets, because during her story she says that like, that's what other people did for her community.

00:37:25 Speaker 2

Her church, other people in the community, her neighbors. It's like they saw a need and they kind of surrounded her with that love and kindness, whether it be just bringing her out to an event with them, taking the her on the vacation, just like those small things that may not seem like a big deal, but.

00:37:43 Speaker 2

In in in her story, you can tell it kind of sets the path for who she is and why she is so loving and kind and caring and wants to love everybody and.

00:37:51 Speaker 2

Learn.

00:37:52 Speaker 3

And even if she felt that she didn't receive that type of love from her family, she still pushes great love into the world. So that was.

00:37:59 Speaker 2

And she just she honestly makes her own family. Like she you can just hear it in her voice and.

00:38:04 Speaker 2

Who matters to?

00:38:04 Speaker 2

Her but the Dream Center, just the family she's made for herself is far farther than what she ever thought she would have.

00:38:13 Speaker 2

Well, that's it for this episode of Youth Voice amplified. If you enjoy what you heard and want to support the show, please take a moment to leave us a positive review on your favorite podcast player. It will help us spread awareness of the podcast and find.

00:38:25 Speaker 2

New listeners.

00:38:26 Speaker 3

And if you're looking for our show notes or recommended resources for any of our episodes, please visit our website at www.kern.org/Y, VA. If you have any questions, comments or concerns or would like to recommend a topic or guest, you can e-mail us at youthvoiceamplified@gmail.com.

00:38:42 Speaker 2

Join us for our next episode when Brian and I sit down with our next youth storyteller. Thanks for listening and see you next time.

00:38:47 Speaker 3

And we're out of.

00:38:48 Speaker 3

Here.

00:38:54 Speaker 4

Youth voice amplified is a youth LED project at the Kern County Superintendent of Schools Office. Created, produced and hosted by Janessa Fisher and Brian Johnson with writing, research, and additional production support by Kim Silva, Allison Baptiste and Educational Television.

00:39:10 Speaker 4

Network major funding for the youth Voice Amplified Podcast is provided by the student achievement and Support Division of the California Department of Education through the Homeless Innovative program grants. Thanks for listening.