The Decision You’re Avoiding Is the One That Changes Everything

There’s a decision you already know you need to make…
 and the longer you avoid it, the more it’s costing you.

In this episode, I’m breaking down why you feel stuck, why you keep overthinking, and what’s really underneath the hesitation. Because it’s not confusion — it’s fear, identity, and what that next level is going to require of you.

This is your reminder: the life you want isn’t waiting on more strategy.
 It’s waiting on a decision.

If you’ve been circling the same patterns, this episode will hit.

Join me on TikTok Lives Monday through Friday at 12:30 PM Pacific Coast. Tik Tok handle: @jenstillionspeaking. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

What if the only thing standing between you and the life that you say that you want isn't more strategy or more time or more confidence, but one decision you keep avoiding. And here's the best part that most people don't realize. It's not that you can't decide, it's that a part of you already has to stay exactly where you are. Dang. So in this episode, I want to show you how to recognize the decision you've been delaying, you've been avoiding, and why the moment you make it, everything starts to shift. Here we go. You're listening to I Love Your Energy Bitch podcast. I'm Jen Stillion, a keynote speaker, an empowerment business coach, and a hypnotherapist, and I've spent the last decade helping clients stop living from who they had to be and start leading from who they actually are. Because here's what I know for sure. Your energy is the most valuable currency you have. It speaks before you do. Whether you realize it or not, it's the thing that makes them trust you out too. Here's the thing. Everything is energy. So in this podcast, I'm gonna teach you how to live from the energy that's actually yours. So you can stop second-cut in your voice, stop checking at the edge of being seen, and start empowering yourself to become the business owner and leader you already are. Because being seen isn't about attention, it's about embodying your personal power. Make sure you subscribe and tune in weekly. Welcome, my friends, to I Love Your Energy Bitch podcast. Oh, welcome to the episode today. OMG. This is a really juicy one, my friends. This is all about a decision that you keep avoiding. Because when you know what, let's just face it, when it comes to you growing your business, okay, and you have to make decisions every single day. But I'm talking about the decision you're avoiding, the thing that you know you've got to do, and you keep overthinking, you keep going back and forth, you're not accepting that you have to do things that make you feel uncomfortable. You gotta speak up, you gotta show up, right? And you know consciously what you've got to do, but you keep making excuses, you keep avoiding, and that is really the thing that is creating all of this unnecessary shit, and it just comes down to one thing something very simple, a decision that you need to make. Because what if nothing is wrong? What if really nothing is wrong? Okay. I know life shows up and I know there's lots of stuff going on in your life. But the thing is when you decide about what you want and you know exactly what to do and you're leading with certainty, everything starts to shift. Okay. And what happens is when you make that decision, it requires, you know, for you to become somebody different. And I think that's the part you've been hesitant, you've been holding yourself back, hesitating. Can I say that? Hesitating, hesitating on. Okay. That's why you're kind of like teeter-tottering back and forth. Because you're probably like, oh my gosh, who am I gonna be if I make this choice right now? And subconsciously, your mind is trying to pull you back. And it's always just one simple decision. Obviously, if you're an entrepreneur or a leader creative listening to this podcast, if you're a content creator, you've already made the decision. You've already made the choice to become an entrepreneur by investing by investing in a digital course or a program or a mentor. Like you're here. And I don't know how long it took you to make that decision and to jump, but you're here for a reason, right? And so what we tend to do is we tend to we tend to literally hold ourselves back. And then sometimes we give our power away to other circumstances and other people in our life. A lot of you, it's your partner, it's your spouse. You know, you're like, I, if I make this choice and I've coached, you know, uh many people who their spouse was not on board with what they're doing. You know, maybe their spouse is a nine-to-fiver and it's security and it's safe, right? And then you did something unconventional by suddenly becoming an entrepreneur, you know, becoming an online marketer, whatever you're doing. And maybe your partner is like, uh, questioning you, and um maybe doesn't want to talk about it, questions the investment that you've made, you know, kind of avoids the conversation, and then you are sometimes hiding. I've had clients who literally can't wait for their spouse to leave the house so they can record content. And you're you're just playing it safe for their comfort, right? And sometimes you have to have the uncomfortable conversation because even in that situation, I know you're just being respectful of the people in your life, whether it's your partner, whether it's family members, or kind of like, what are you doing online? Why are you, what is this? And a lot of you sometimes get into the fear of what they think, right? But it's really interesting because there's a part of you that, you know, you're you want to go live, you want to start to be more visible in your business. But I have seen this over and over again. It's usually the people in our life that we're afraid of the most of what they think. And sometimes you allow them to put that hold on you and they're holding you back. And sometimes it is your partner, and you're gonna have to have that conversation. You know, I've made investments in my career as an entrepreneur that my husband was like, um, Jen, what uh what? Didn't we didn't see eye to eye on it? But I'm somebody who plays the long game. Like I know if I make an investment and I have spent thousands of dollars in online programs and coaches and mentors, because the payoff, the return of investment is huge, huge. I mean, it is literally, I'm so glad that I invested because it helped me become the entrepreneur that I am today. It helped me scale my business, it helped me transform my life, and and I don't regret any of it. In fact, I encourage people to do it because it's kind of like, and I'm not encouraging you to do, you know, to be irresponsible with your money. I'm not encouraging you, I'm encouraging you to do that. Today I'm really, really tired, by the way, and I'm showing up anyway, like I'm exhausted. So I'm noticing that my energy is not on point. I'm fumbling with my words, but this is just giving you an example of how 70% perfection. You're gonna have days where you're tired, you're gonna have weird days, and I show up no matter what. Okay, even if I sound like I'm drunk, but I'm not. Really, Jen's kind of feeling off today. You know what? So what? Okay, I'm just showing you that I decided that I will show up every single week during this podcast, despite how I feel. I decided that after this podcast, after I'm recording this, I'm going live on my TikTok. I go live, by the way, every Monday through Friday on my TikTok account. You can follow me, Jen Stillian speaking. And I go live Monday through Friday at 12:30 p.m. So no matter what is going on in my life, I've decided to show up anyway. Okay. It's one decision I will not back down. Um, so yeah, I'm feeling a little bit kookabananas and off today. I'm like, oh, my brain of thoughts, everything, and it's okay. It's okay. So where was I? Jen went off on a tangent. So, you know, sometimes when you're investing yourself, when you, when you, if you've gone to college, right, you're a young student, college is a lot, you know, you got to invest a lot to go to be a student, whether you got your bachelor's or your master's or your PhD. And sometimes you have to take out a loan, you know, a loan, you have to invest because you're investing in your education. So it makes sense because you know the payoff. And yeah, when you graduate, you're gonna have loans for a few years. Some of you are still paying off your loans. But that is the investment you need to make. And that's how I look at it as business. I'm like, sometimes I've had to invest outside of my comfort zone, but the payoff has been extraordinary because I would not have made the money. I would not have become the person to make the money if I didn't invest in the first place. So sometimes you have to make hard decisions. And a lot of you teeter-totter, and I'm not just talking about money, but the decisions that you're just you're waiting, it's like you're waiting to give yourself permission to go all in. And yet you're allowing your partner to hold you back, your friends to hold you back, your family, your circumstances. Maybe you're exhausted. Maybe you have ailments in your body and you're like, ugh. And the thing is, life is gonna show up and life is lifing no matter what. But you can't give your fucking power away to the circumstances in your life and the people in your life. You have to rise up and you have to have those difficult conversations with the people in your life and say, Hey, I'm going this way. I have big, bold dreams. You can either join me or not. And when you have people in your life that want security and comfort, you know, and they they don't understand that you're breaking free, you're you're on a different planet, you're doing a different parrot, you're shaking shit up, you're going against the norm because you know you have a greater calling and greater purpose, and you your people in your life might think you're freaking crazy. Good. Okay. That's how, that is how, you know, um, Steve Jobs became Steve Jobs and created Apple. People thought he was batshit crazy. This is how innovators, this is how, you know, legacy builds when you have to step out of the norm and believe in yourself every single day and make decisions, you know, based on the belief that you have on yourself, despite what's going on in your life, despite what people will say, including your partner. And I know it's easier said than done. But when you shrink to make others pe uh for others to feel comfortable, you're gonna shrink in your business. And there's something inside of you that's like, make the decision already, stop avoiding. When you decide and accept that you're gonna be rocking the boat, that you're going to be a beginner. Sometimes some of you are like, and and you know, I if you join my email list, I'm emailing you at least twice a week. And I get reply replies all the time from my emails. And people are like, I know I'm not being consistent, I know that I need to show up more. I know that I start and I stop when I start and I stop. I know that I'm I'm not feeling well, so I stop. You know what I mean? And the thing is, you have not fully decided to go all in. That's what's going on. You've not commanded your authority, you have not told your brain and your body, we are going all in regardless. Regardless. Stop making excuses. Okay. The world wants the version of you who advocates for yourself. And what we've done is we've gotten too comfortable. We were too comfortable, we feel too safe, we're comfortable in our relationships, you know, and we don't want to rock the boat. We don't want people to not like us, we don't want to rock our marriage. And the thing is, is like I'm telling you right now, is that's where it begins. So you sooner or later, you're gonna have to decide what you really want. Sooner or later, you're gonna have to make a choice. Either you keep playing small and you keep making the same excuses, or you go big and you decide right now, regardless of what's going on in my life, I'm still gonna show up. Like me right now. Like I feel I woke up this morning, hung over, and no, I didn't drink last night. I call it an energetic uh hangover. I'm like, what is going on in the world right now? What's going on with the planets? Is it a full moon? But sometimes it happens. And my mission and my purpose is bigger than how I feel because it's gonna pass. Okay, I'm gonna have a little bit more uh green tea today and maybe an espresso. Okay, it's all right. I'm doing okay, I'm healthy. So that's that's what I mean. Okay, and you you know you've made hard decisions in your life before, there's no difference, but you're unwilling to make that decision because I think you're really afraid of the person you're gonna become after you do it. You know, when I've had clients speak their truth, confronted their partner or even family members that kept seeing them online and questioning them, even friends, and I know confrontation is not easy, but speaking your truth is not easy unless you practice it and it gets easier. And I've had clients confront and you know, and make boundaries and shut people down in their life, including the their person, you know? And we teach people how to treat us, and if you are like it, it's none of their business, it's none of their freaking business. You have a mission, you have a purpose, you're here learning how to create your own dreams from your own soul, and then monetizing it, doing all the things so you can prove to yourself, you don't have to prove your family, and I know some of you are like, I'm gonna prove to my partner that this shit's gonna work. Gotta prove to yourself. And the only way you're gonna do that is to have the courage to decide right now. So, what is the thing that you've been teeter-tatering on? What is the thing that you're not deciding on, my friend? What's the thing that you're holding yourself back? Make a decision, do it right now, and when you do, make it non-negotiable. Okay? Because the world is waiting for you. All right, you're just sitting there. So show up, do the thing, be consistent, despite what's going on. Have the hard conversations with the people in your life, all right? When you rise up and you make kind of those hard decisions and be like, no, bitch, this is what I'm doing. Take it or leave it. I know it's it's it's not easy. I know. You're like, oh my god, what am I doing? Um it gets easier when you decide. It gets easier when you take your power back. And when you take your power back, you'll know, and this is the sign, you have this unwavering peace about you. You're not negotiating with yourself, you're not arguing with yourself, you're not making excuses, you're like, wow, when you decide, peace comes. This unwavering like knowing comes. And you won't go back. You just won't. And this is what it means to be in your power because you're not leaking your power and energy to everybody and their mom. Right? You're here to take care of you and your business and who you are being and how you're rising and how you're growing and how you're transforming. You're not here to take care of um, you know, the security that your partner wants or your family, you know, questioning you about what you're doing. You're not responsible for their discomfort. So stop trying to act like you need to be.

unknown 18:39

Okay?

SPEAKER_00 18:39

Oh, Jen's getting crazy right now. You have to rise up, my friend. Okay? So whatever you're avoiding, decide now that you're gonna stop and make the decision to move forward. All right, my friend. So a couple of things. Definitely come to my lives Monday through Friday. Um, I am going to Italy on April 17th. So I'll be gone for about 12 days. Um, most likely I will have episodes batch when I'm gonna be gone. I will be probably doing lives when I'm in Italy. It'll probably be different times. I don't know. I think in Italy's nine hours ahead. I have to figure that out, figured that out. But um definitely if you want to connect with me, I would definitely jump on my lives. Um, but other than that, my friend, I will um you will hear from me and in the next episode next week. Thank you for listening today. Bye. Well, thank you for listening to I Love Your Energy, bitch. If this episode spoke to you, hit subscribe, leave a review, and share it with somebody who needs this message today. And if you're ready to take your visibility and confidence to the next level, grab my free five day challenge, The Courage to Be Seen, and you'll find the link in the show notes below. I'll see you in the next episode.