Effective Engagement Strategy Series - Step 1: Authentic Presence

Work with Kimberly 1:1 to build stronger teams and lead with confidence.

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In Part 1 of this 3 part series, discover the first strategy of genuine engagement: showing up with authenticity and presence. Kimberly Benoit shares practical strategies to help leaders give their teams the attention they truly deserve.

• The reality and impact of constant device distractions on leadership presence
• Why multitasking is a myth and how it damages real connections
• Three evidence-based tactics for practicing authentic presence
• The difference between professional respect and friendship in authentic engagement
• A weekly challenge to transform your team interactions with full, device-free presence

#Authenticity #Presence #GenuineEngagement #DeviceFreeZones #MultitaskingMyth #Attention #Leadership #ProfessionalRespect #ActiveListening #BodyLanguage #EyeContact #HumanConnection #TeamCommunication #AuthenticPresence #Boundaries #Performance #Engagement #WorkplaceRelationships #ClearCommunication #Transparency #Trust

To learn more about Kimberly J Benoit or how you can work with her, check out her website, kimberlyjbenoit.com, or find her on LinkedIn.

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Special thanks to Esplanade Studios for mastering support & Melissa Argyle Designs. Music by Denys Kyshchuk from Pixabay

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Transcript

0:00

Have you ever wondered how much your phone or smartwatch gets in the way of truly connecting with others? In this episode, I'm gonna explore the power of authenticity and presence. The foundation of genuine engagement. Let's discover why multitasking hurts your relationships. Learn easy tips for being fully present and walk away with a simple challenge to try with your team. Let's find out what changes when you show up as your true present self.

Kimberly Benoit: 0:31

Welcome to, we've all done it, the podcast for leaders who get the work done, but find the people part of leading frustrating. I'm Kimberly Benoit, author, award-winning former corporate executive and leadership coach with over 20 years in the corporate world. I've seen it all. The good, the bad, and the downright messy. If you've ever avoided a tough conversation, played favorites without realizing it, or just wondered why is leading people so hard, you're in the right place because we've all done it. This is your space for real talk, real solutions and no judgment. Together, I'll share practical strategies to help you navigate workplace drama, build stronger teams. And lead with confidence. No more pretending, no more suffering in silence. Just honest, actionable leadership from someone who's been in your shoes. Are you ready to lead differently? Let's do this. Hey everyone. So today we're gonna explore the first pillar of genuine engagement, showing up with authenticity and presence. So this is a big one. This is like our first foundational one. We've, this is important. We gotta get this one right folks. So let's dig in. I don't know about you, but I feel there's an all out war for my attention between life and devices and. There's so many devices, it seems everyone wants a piece of my attention all the time, and data proves it to be kind of true because guess what? As an average leader, we check our phones on average 150 times a day. Let that sink in 150 times a day. You are picking, touching, and looking at that phone. That's substantial. And those switches between tasks happen on average every three minutes. So if you think that's not true, I wanna tell you a quick little story to kind of illustrate how this actually happens in a leader life. Um, so. It's a personal story. It's, I had a huge issue with a project and I needed some advocacy and insight from my leader pretty quickly. Um, and it took me a bit to get on her calendar as it always is. You know how it is. Calendar is just getting on calendars can be really challenging. And I had gotten in there for 15 minutes and I just needed her to listen because without her, I couldn't remove a hurdle that was really critical to the project I was working on. And just as I'm starting to talk, she gets I, she gets an alert on her Apple watch and she breaks eye contact with me and looks down to read it. And then as she's looking down, she's grabbing her phone. We've all seen this happen, and then she immediately starts texting. And in that time that that has happened, I stopped talking to, which she looks without even looking up at me, keep looking at her phone. She says, keep going. I'm still listening. So. I don't think she meant it to be disrespectful or dismissive, but the reality was is that's exactly how it felt, is that I had something so important to tell her and whatever was on her watch couldn't even wait 10 to 15 minutes so that we could resolve my issue. And the truth was is despite the fact that she said that she was still listening, I knew I had lost her. So I've had that happen to me many, many times over my career, and I am embarrassed to say I. I have done it to others many, many times because let's be honest, we have been told for a long time that multitasking is good and that multitasking the better multitaskers are the best leaders and the best doers. But the truth is, it's a myth. It's an absolute myth and when you are multitasking during interactions with your team, you're actually rapidly switching between tasks and you're not giving anybody your full attention, which ultimately means you are dam damaging those connections in those moments. Because I, even though I know she didn't mean it, it hurt, it was hurtful. Like I was upset. I was frustrated. Right. Did it fully damage our relationship forever? No. But does it create cracks that don't need to be there? Yes. Um, so. Let's, let's talk about this because this is what we're getting down to, right? Um, so I wanna throw out a stat for you'cause I think it's important. So, Harvard Business Review Gold Standard again, has found that leaders who demonstrate full presence during interactions with their teams are 34% more likely to deliver results above expectation. Presence isn't just a nice to have with your team, it's actually a performance multiplier. And if you go back to my example, it demonstrates it completely. I needed help in order to execute, and I couldn't get it because she wasn't there with me in the moment, right? So it's happened. No judgment, but let's talk about what we wanna do about it. So how do we actually practice authentic presence in our busy lives as leaders? So I'm gonna share three evidence-based approaches, and I'm just gonna preface by saying I, I can almost virtually hear the groaning before I even start, but just stay with me through them. Trust me on this. Okay. First is we have to create device free zones. Oh, I know it hurts. And what I'm talking about here. Is, I'm not saying you can't have your Apple watch, you can't have your cell phone, all those things, but what I am saying is, in one-on-ones or conversations that are extremely important, you need to take that watch off and put it in a different part of the room. Don't have those devices on, you don't have them right next to you because the de the, the, the need to check that notification will overrule your ability to focus on the person in front of you. We've seen it happen. It's like, seriously, this is like behavior. This is like Psych 1 0 1, Pavlov's dogs. Like we salivated the idea that there's a notification that somebody wants to tell us something or we're needed in some way, but the truth is, who wants us and needs us is sitting right in front of us. And so we have to give them that attention. And so before you say, Hey, is it really true? Yes, it is. So studies have found that 73% of employees perceive checking devices during conversations as a sign of disrespect. Yet 92% of us do it regularly. It's not a judgment people, not a judgment, but it is a wake up call. If engagement is important to you, this is a really big one to start figuring out. All right. Second. I want you to practice the pause. So what does that mean? When someone on your team shares something, I want you to pause. Now you, I want you to like take a breath. So anywhere from like four to eight seconds before responding. And the reason why I'm saying this is because. It does two things. It ensures that you're actually absorbing what that person just says to you, like you're like not just hearing them, but you're processing it. Because very often what we all are doing, because we are pressured for time, is we are listening to respond, not listening to understand. And this pause gives you the ability to listen, to understand. Secondly, it signals to the person on the other side of you that you value what they've said enough to really actually think about it before creating your response. This is, it may not seem like much, trust me. It matters because you will actually find yourself. Thinking a little bit more before you immediately respond. This, I would say, is so incredible. This is not, this is critical all the time, but I would say it's incredibly critical when you're having difficult conversations. And those are the ones we fear, we dread, we avoid the most, and those are the ones where we really need to slow down and make sure we're listening. As intently as possible. Alright. Third tactic. Alright. I want you to use the power of your body language. So when you're meeting with someone, are you actually facing them? Are you maintaining eye contact with them? And before people say, Hey, we, you know, I work in a virtual world. I'm maintaining contact with you right now. It's by looking at the camera and by you looking at them, having them looking at the camera. You are looking at each other. So the, just by the appropriate eye contact, you are showing engagement, you're showing, you're tuned in, you are showing that you are not distracted by. Some Excel sheet on a separate screen, or you're looking at your watch or you're looking at your phone, that your attention is fully focused on the person in front of you. The power of body language matters. So we've got those three things. So now we've talked about how to be present. But I wanna be upfront and say, so now let's dig into authenticity a little bit. Because presence without being authentic is gonna feel very mechanical. Um, and the truth is, is real engagement requires you to be human. Kind of be yourself. Now, I'm not saying that this means that you have to come in and like overshare and you know. Cross boundaries you don't feel comfortable with. But it does mean that you need to show up as a human and be able to have human responses. And. When we say this, I, I, I wanna be very clear about this. One component is I know you're not gonna love every person you're with. I've had teams where there were people I immediately clicked with. Um, we just kind of, how we viewed the world, how we viewed work, what we were doing. We were very aligned. And then I had people that just, it wasn't that way. And guess what? That's absolutely normal. Nobody is asking you to be BFFs with every person that works for you or works with you. But an authentic presence is not about personal preference. It's not about becoming friends. Unlike what some people might tell you, it's about professional respect and showing up in a way that is professional, respectful with integrity, so you can be kind and you can be friendly without being friends. There are ways to maintain your boundaries and still show up as a human with authentic presence. Okay everyone, so this week, I know I gave you a challenge last week. I really want to, I would love to hear how that went for you. Um, but this week I wanna give you a different challenge. I want you to complete one present conversation with each member of your team. I. No devices, no mental multitasking, just full authentic presence. Notice what changes. I want you to be honest, like does something change not only in you and how you're engaging in that moment, but how that team member is engaging back with you? Uh, does the quality of the information shift, does the vibe of the connection shift? Let me know. I wanna hear it. All right, so in our next episode, we're gonna explore the second pillar of genuine engagement, which is clear communication. We're gonna unpack why transparency builds trust, even when the message is difficult. Take care. I've got two things before I let you go. One. If you've ever gotten any value from the show, please leave a five star review. It really helps and absolutely makes my day. The second thing is, if you have any thoughts you'd like to share with me, please shoot me an email at podcast@kimberlyjbenoit.com. I'd love to hear from you. All right, see you in the next episode.