75. A Candid Momversation with Christina Struckmeyer and Claire Strong

Joined by the remarkable Christina Struckmeyer and Claire Strong from the Momversation Club podcast, this episode offers a comforting blend of humor and heart as we share our distinct journeys through motherhood. Christina paints a vivid picture of farm life in Northern California, raising her kids among rice and walnut fields, while Claire opens up about her move from England to San Diego and the unique hurdles of parenting teenagers in a new country without family nearby.

In a world where modern mothers often feel adrift, finding a supportive community is like discovering an oasis. Christina and Claire bring to light the profound impact of creating a "village" through podcasts and social media, where sharing experiences nurtures solidarity and understanding. I recount my own transition from teaching to podcasting, driven by the encouragement from a Moms of Preschoolers group, and how these platforms have become lifelines for countless mothers. Together, we celebrate the spirit of collaboration within the mom podcasting community, where uplifting one another is a shared mission in helping mothers feel less alone.

As our conversation unfolds, we dive into the turbulent waters of raising teenagers in today’s digital landscape. With insights from the documentary "Anxious Nation," we confront the escalating anxiety faced by teens and the crucial role parents play in modeling emotional intelligence. Christina, Claire, and I share personal stories, reflecting on parenting "burnt pancakes" and the myth of easier girl-raising. It's a candid, empathetic discussion aiming to shine a light on the mental health challenges impacting both teenagers and parents, stressing the importance of awareness and proactive support. 

You can find the Momversation Club Podcast and connect with Christina and Claire:
website: https://momversationclub.com/
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4RMhSVTy8mBkD9ZXdoj4By?si=b1a3ad27866d4a2a
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/momversationclub/

📺 Watch the episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOpw5ui4uxJHx0tLFVtpnfSkpObfc4d-K

You can find Katie at:
website: burntpancakes.com
YouTube: @burnt.pancakes
Instagram: @burntpancakeswithkatie
Email: katie@burntpancakes.com

🚽 Did you know Katie is also a Certified Potty Trainer? 🚽

☎️ Schedule a 1:1 chat today: Schedule Here
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Transcript

00:09 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Hello, hello and welcome back to another episode of the Burnt Pancakes podcast. I am your host, katie Fenske. I'm a mom of three, making plenty of mistakes and sharing those all with you. My goal is to remind moms that everyone burns their first pancake. 

00:25
On today's Momversation, I have two incredible moms, christina Struckmeyer and Claire Strong, and they are the hosts of the Momversation Club podcast. So of course you know I had to get them on my podcast because we love talking about mom life. They were amazing guests. We talk all things mom life. So I think you're going to love these two and love not only the topics that we talk about on the podcast today, but the topics that they share on their podcasts are just a must listen. So please enjoy this momversation with Christina and Claire. Well, ladies, welcome to the podcast, claire. Well, ladies, welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much. I'm dying to have you guys on because I listened to yours. I was so glad to be on yours. So why don't you start off just introducing yourself and let us know how many kids you have and what their ages are? 

01:16 - Claire Strong (Guest)
Okay, do you want to kick off, christina? Why don't you go? 

01:19 - Christina Struckmeyer (Guest)
first, yeah, yeah. So I'm Christina Struckmeyer, one half of the Momversation Club, and I am a 35, I'm like mathing 35 year old mom in Northern California. I have two kids, ages two and nine almost 10. And I live on a rice and walnut farm, so I'm on lots of land, I'm a farm wife. 

01:43 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Oh, that must be heaven for your kids. Like, my, boys would have so much fun if they had a place to run around. 

01:48 - Christina Struckmeyer (Guest)
It's awesome, but what's really fun about our podcast is we have very different day-to-day lives, and so I'll let Claire go, but that's me in a nutshell is like country life with toddlers. 

02:00 - Claire Strong (Guest)
Nice. But Christina, you haven't always lived that life, though, and that's what's interesting about your situation? 

02:12 - Christina Struckmeyer (Guest)
because, katie, this farm thing is fairly new to you, isn't it? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I used to live about two hours north and I met my husband three and a half years ago and we fell wildly in love and I moved myself and my at the time six and a half year old daughter to the farm, and we just decided to to shift our lives completely and it's worked out how fun, that's so interesting yes, and so well. 

02:38 - Claire Strong (Guest)
I'm Claire, claire Strong, and let me just tell you, katie, you might not know this about us, but we're technically related through marriage. I wanted to know the backstory of how you guys met well, let me just tell you a little bit about, like, how we're related. So my husband I always have to get this straight, christina my husband is some sort of cousin to your husband, like second or third, something like that. That's right. 

03:06 - Christina Struckmeyer (Guest)
It's like family reunion We'd see each other, but no other time. 

03:10 - Claire Strong (Guest)
So it's like that distant, distant cousin. 

03:13 - Christina Struckmeyer (Guest)
And the house that we're living in is the grandmother of my husband. They built this home and that is also a grandmother of her husband Kyle. 

03:23 - Claire Strong (Guest)
Okay, so that's yeah, she knows the family tree more than I do. But getting back to me, so, as you may be able to tell, I'm not from around these parts originally. I'm from England, I'm from Yorkshire and I moved here seven years ago with my daughters, who are now, oh my God, 14 and 16. It's crazy, and so when I say I moved here, here is San Diego and that's where my now husband was. So that's why we moved here and so, yeah, so my background I'm a journalist. I've been a journalist for about 20 years. I was an anchor at the BBC before I moved here. I have a master's degree in broadcast journalism and, yes, I am a very busy teen girl mom. Let me tell you girls, I tell Christina all the time brace yourselves, because you're going to be busy in the teenage years and so, yeah, so I obviously am in San Diego now, the rest of my family's back home in Yorkshire, so it's a pretty tough deal. A lot of the time I don't have any support here at all, which is actually why this is a good segue into why we do the podcast. Actually, katie, yes, because, um, for me and I know Christina, you can, you can add to this story in a second. 

04:44
I moved here seven years ago. Obviously, I know my husband, but, aside from my husband, we don't have any family here. His side of the family are in Oklahoma, which is nowhere near where we are, and all my family and good friends are back in England. And so, you know, honestly, katie, I was feeling pretty overwhelmed and pretty isolated, especially as my eldest daughter has ADHD. So we have some, you know, we don't always have a smooth day. You know, school doesn't always go smoothly. You know, like with any child, every child has, you know, issues in the day, and I was just feeling pretty alone the day. And I was just feeling pretty alone. 

05:29
And I got this idea in my head about two years ago now. What if I started a podcast? Because, you know, let me use my broadcasting experience and my experience as a mom to try and reach other moms who may be feeling a little bit like me, overwhelmed, isolated, you know, feeling unappreciated potentially. And so I was like, okay, this is great, I definitely want to do this, but I'm not going to do it on my own because, katie, I, I salute you doing this all on your own. 

05:55
Running a podcast is work, and so I always wanted to find a really good fit for a co-host who kind of shared, you know, my, my vision and my values, and who had a great personality and had a lot of life experience to share. And and that's what I thought of Christina, because she I mean you'll you'll talk more about this in a second Christina but, um, christina, you know she, she was also a single parent like me for a while, so we have that shared experience. Christina, again, I know you're going to talk more about this, but you know Christina has a daughter who is um, on the autism spectrum, and so we had lots of similarities and and I came to Christina with this idea and I was like Christina, I don't know what you think I'm crazy, but I would love to do this and I just think you're ideal for this, I'd love to share this journey with you. And she said yes. 

06:49 - Christina Struckmeyer (Guest)
I did, I did say yes, yeah, yeah, oh man. Well, claire approached me and at first, when she first had the idea, um, I was heavily pregnant and for anyone listening, I was, I was not straight up not having a good time and so I was like rain check. 

07:11
And then when I was, you know, coming out of the fog, I said actually, yeah, this sounds like a great idea. And I think what's great about us is we have very different perspectives Maybe Northern California young kids at the home here versus her Southern California teen situation but we have a lot of similarities. Like she said, we've got special needs in our lives. We also have backgrounds of journalism. I also went to school for journalism. I went the PR way, so I did a lot of nonprofit work and I think it just lends itself to a really fun conversation. 

07:48
But we also have a lot of differing viewpoints as well, where her experience doesn't match my experience or I'll have something that I want to share. And she's kind of looking at it from an outside and asking questions that you would ask a friend, as they're opening up to you, so it makes for a good conversation. And then, like you, we bring friend as they're, like you know, opening up to you. So it makes for like a good conversation. And then, like you, we bring on guests here and there. But a lot of our stuff is just two women connecting and kind of just trying to be there for each other, cause we're both, in a way, fish out of water in our environments, right, Right, I well, I love every topic you come up with. 

08:24 - Katie Fenske (Host)
I'm like that's a great topic. Oh my God. Great topic, Just stuff that like we're all thinking and going through but you don't always hear all the time. 

08:35 - Claire Strong (Guest)
Well, I think that's the point, katie, the point I would say about podcast. If someone was to ask me to describe why are you different, we would say exactly that that we we really try and bring to the fore those conversations that we might be having with ourselves, in our mind and and we we wouldn't necessarily bring them out in the open or speak openly about that topic with someone who, uh, wasn't a really close friend, and so we want to bridge that gap for mums, because so many mums just don't have that village Katie, they don't have that support network. And it's such a, it's such a rewarding time but also such a thankless time being a mom, and we just want to make other moms feel appreciated. 

09:20 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yeah, yeah. Okay, speaking of village, like you talk a lot about finding your tribe, do you feel like you found your tribe? Cause I mean, you guys are both like transplants from somewhere else. Like what did you do to find it? What does your tribe look like? 

09:37 - Claire Strong (Guest)
That's a great question, christina, you start yeah. 

09:40 - Christina Struckmeyer (Guest)
Yeah, yeah, I think when we think of you know everybody needs to find their village or where's the village we think about a time where life was different. There was communities of women who were all raising kids, a lot of them being at home. Life was different, the world was different and the way the village and the support network was back then no longer exists for most, for most people. And so I think, as modern moms, you have to kind of come to a place of acceptance with that that there isn't going to be a built-in village but you can makeshift a village, whether that's through community and like building that community or through paid labor. 

10:24
You know, for instance, my village has shifted so much between different times of my motherhood when I was a single mom I relied on babysitters and the every other week housekeeper who blessed me by coming in and helping me like keep up with everything, because I just couldn't do it. I was only one person. You know daycare providers, people at work that help cover shifts, as you're kind of going back to the school and going to like the school party or whatever that can be part of your village. I think it just it looks different now and for a lot of people. It takes extra work because if you don't have family nearby, if you don't have family nearby, if you don't have close friends, you have to get out of your comfort zone and like that feels not great. 

11:11 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yes, it is kind of it's work to try and do that Like you have to cause. I remember I just a little while ago I went to this like mom's thing for the kids at school and the whole time I was like why did I sign up? 

11:22 - Claire Strong (Guest)
I don't want to go. 

11:23 - Katie Fenske (Host)
But it's like I have been complaining about I don't feel like I know any of the moms, like I feel, cause we do our drive up pickup, you stay in your car, no one gets out and no one talks, and I'm like, okay, this is what I've been asking for. I want to make mom friends. I have to go do this. 

11:38 - Claire Strong (Guest)
Yeah, I totally agree, it is work, especially when you're moving to a new area or, in my case, a new country. I think it's easier if you've been somewhere from day one and you've done all the. You know mommy and me or baby, you know groups and all of that, and then you're kind of staying in the same place and seeing your child through you know the local school system. You're going to build those relationships probably. It's probably easier in some ways. But if, like Christina and I, you are moving to these places later on in life and maybe you've already got children when you move, I think it's. 

12:14
It's very difficult in some cases to replicate what you used to have. I mean, honestly, I've never been okay. What I had back in in England, you know, I've got my, my mom and dad there, my brother's there, my best friends in the whole world are there, who, um, went through all the early stages of having babies, and so I actually haven't been able to replicate that, but it's. But what I will say is I'm at peace with that, it's okay. What I have been able to do is build something, that kind of bridges, that gap is how I would describe it. 

12:49
I have got some lovely friends here. They haven't been with me through my entire journey, but we look out for each other. I have a really good friend who, if her know my, if her child's sick, I'll pick up her. You know if, if she needs something, for example, if she's at home with a sick child, I'll go and help her. Vice versa, if I'm ill she'll bring things to me. She's always got my back. She's almost like a sister figure to me now. Um and so, but. But I will say you touched upon this and so did you, katie. It does require effort to make friends and to build those relationships, and that's not everyone's cup of tea. I mean, I'm an extrovert, so I actually get energy from that. 

13:33 - Christina Struckmeyer (Guest)
But I know a lot of people don't. 

13:35 - Claire Strong (Guest)
It's a lot of people that's like the worst nightmare, yeah, having to walk into a room, especially if there are already cliques of moms sat together and you don't have anyone or don't know anyone. That's quite an intimidating experience. But what I would say to any mom that may be listening to this that feels that they just haven't found their people just keep going with it. I think as well. You know, if you are able to make the first move, that can make a lot of difference. 

14:05
And I know for a lot of people that's intimidating. But you know, for all you know the other person I said this to you before, christina. The other person may be thinking I really want to talk to her, but I'm too shy, like what do I say? So just assume that, assume that they want to talk to you too. No-transcript unload. 

14:51 - Christina Struckmeyer (Guest)
sometimes it's um, it can be very, very isolating when I think also, um, during, like you go back to the village, people serve different purposes in your life. There were the people that had like tangible support, like hey, I have this human, I need to leave it with someone, versus someone you go to for wisdom, someone you go to for advice, and things like that. And so I think modern moms can kind of patchwork their own village, and it's going to have to be something where you are okay with it looking different, and everyone's going to have to be something where you are okay with it looking different and everyone's going to have their own unique style. And I'd like to think that podcasts like you and us and and other you know people that are are being more loud about motherhood, um, that those are also a part of their villages and feeding that purpose. 

15:38 - Katie Fenske (Host)
That's, I would say, when I think it was, when my middle was waking up early in the morning. I literally would just go for a walk at six in the morning listening to this mom podcast and I'm like I don't see my friends as much because I'm busy with kids, but those women became my friends, like they helped get me through those, like early mornings. So, yeah, I think a podcast village. 

16:00
Yeah, or just the people you see on social media, I'm like I've never met you in real life, but like we DM and stuff, like isn't it? 

16:07 - Claire Strong (Guest)
funny. Yeah, you feel connected, you feel like you have a genuine friendship. 

16:10 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Um, I want to ask you, katie, what prompted you to start your podcast, kind of similar, like I felt like um well, I got to the point in my career where I was like my teaching job is interfering with my wanting to be a mom. 

16:25
And so one and I told my husband I'm like I don't think I can do this anymore. I don't think I can do this. He's like okay, well, if you didn't teach, what do you like, what do you want to do? And I was like I like talking to moms Cause like I just picture like being at the park I don't go to the park as much anymore because my kids are a little older but like just hitting it off with a mom and I just felt like I just I love that, I love chatting with moms and just chit-chatting about motherhood and he's like, okay, cool. 

16:48
And then that's when, like, the idea started coming. And at the time I had been in like um, um, like a mops group, I guess that's what it wasn't called mops. 

16:57 - Christina Struckmeyer (Guest)
Moms of preschoolers. 

16:58 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yeah. So I was in that group and that was the first time I'd ever joined one and it was like six months in and I remember thinking this is saving me. I didn't realize that this kind of support existed. So I thought, if I can combine my like love of talking to moms with helping other moms, boom, there's a podcast. So it was kind of similar, like I wanted to help moms who felt the way I did. 

17:21 - Christina Struckmeyer (Guest)
Yeah, I love that. I think that it's so important. And what I love about this collective of women who are just being out loud and open about their motherhood is you can find some solidarity and everyone's got their own flavor and differences of how they do things and you go, oh, that's an idea I never thought of. 

17:38 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Or oh, my God, I'm so glad she said that out loud Like yes yes, someone posted the other day like this is what motherhood looks like to me, and it was like dirty dishes, laundry, piling up this and that, and it's like, oh, that just made me feel so much better Like my baseboards are dirty and I'm okay with that. 

17:55 - Claire Strong (Guest)
I've also found interesting, in a really good way, other mom podcasters or mom influencers, you want to call them. I feel like we're very supportive of each other too. We're very much into uplifting each other and so, for example, you know we're a guest on your podcast. Today you've been a guest on ours, and it's not that we're in competition with each other, katie. It's that we are just wanting to share experiences and and ultimately, our goal is to reach as many moms as possible. 

18:22 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Right. So we see one succeed and you're like this is incredible, this is awesome, absolutely. 

18:28 - Claire Strong (Guest)
And so you know, christina and I are cheering you along from the sidelines. We're like, you know, go girl Katie, this is great. You know you're really blowing up on Instagram. This is fantastic because that means you're reaching moms who need to be reached, and that's ultimately why I think we're all in this. 

18:43 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yeah, and this message is resonating with people, like that whole feeling of like I don't have to be perfect, cause when I became a mom, like I was plagued with that, like I have to do things right, like why is my baby not sleeping? 

18:57 - Christina Struckmeyer (Guest)
And that was torture for me until I started like realizing like okay, well, not everyone else is perfect, so Well, the problem is, is that when you don't get real with moms cause again like we, we get so nervous to talk to the moms at the mommy and me or like you know, whatever, we all are showing our best. You know, um, my, I remember when I had my first mommy and me day was like the day I showered and, like, threw a curling rod through my hair and I was like me, I am, I am together, I am at this library, like, and I think that we're all desperately like looking for cracks and being like, okay, me too, like I can be real with this person. She's a trusted person now. 

19:39 - Claire Strong (Guest)
Well, I don't think it helps that when you go on social media and you see like acquaintances or friends or whatever, they're obviously posting the best bits about their day and the best for sure, and I'm guilty. 

19:49 - Katie Fenske (Host)
I, I'm guilty. I use a filter, you know. 

19:52 - Christina Struckmeyer (Guest)
Well, I mean the under eyes. 

19:55 - Claire Strong (Guest)
I am. I request Christina uses a filter when she edits my stuff because she does all social media. I don't think it always happens because I look a little tired on some of those reels, but um, it adds to the it adds to the flavor of the social media. 

20:09 - Christina Struckmeyer (Guest)
yeah, but I love it. I love when we can see um ourselves and other people and you know we can talk about, like our failures and our wins, and the good days and the bad days. I I think motherhood's so nuanced Nothing is always good, nothing's always bad, right. 

20:24 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Well, part of the burnt pancakes podcast is just sharing our quote, unquote, failures or the times that you've just you know, haven't you burnt your pancake? So can you share any of your biggest burnt pancakes? Do you have any? 

20:42 - Christina Struckmeyer (Guest)
Oh man, remember that episode we did where we did, our mom fails and you shared that really bad story, claire. 

20:48 - Claire Strong (Guest)
I know I was like it's not recent, but I'll share. 

20:58 - Christina Struckmeyer (Guest)
Yeah, I'll share one. It doesn't need to be recent, katie, or is it just like our? 

21:01 - Katie Fenske (Host)
biggest, I'll share. Yeah, I'll share one. It doesn't need to be recent Katie or is it just like our biggest? 

21:07 - Christina Struckmeyer (Guest)
No, I mean, I've been failing since day one, so I've got plenty. Cause I've got, like the recent like never give your toddler banana bread in the car seat Like they will shove it everywhere. 

21:14 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Um, but I of course, before we had kids, they weren't going to eat in the car Right. And then and now I look back and I'm like, oh my god. 

21:21 - Christina Struckmeyer (Guest)
I've gotten really good at that like um technique where you kind of like throw it, but you're also driving and then everybody's yelling at you and you're like one little thing, I still do that and my kids are teenagers. 

21:33 - Claire Strong (Guest)
I'm like I just throw stuff in the bag. I'm like just sort yourselves out, I'm driving. Be quiet please. 

21:38 - Christina Struckmeyer (Guest)
I think that my fail typically is at my own expectations of what, like the day was supposed to be. Like you, know in the beginning of the day when you're drinking your coffee coffee if you got a hot cup or whether it's warm from being left. 

21:53
Um, you're like, okay, okay, today is going to be this, this and this, and then, as the day goes on, I feel myself having this death grip of like the expectation of the day, as it's just going down the shitter. That's okay to say, you know, it's not going well, and so I think that my failures are often like just me putting so much on myself of like what's supposed to happen versus letting the day just do its thing. 

22:24 - Katie Fenske (Host)
And I think, on that note for me, it's forgetting that I am human. 

22:28 - Claire Strong (Guest)
So like I beat myself up. 

22:30 - Katie Fenske (Host)
I just totally lost my temper. I yelled at my kids. But it's like but I'm also human and like their noise and their constant, like that got to me and I would like to handle it differently. But sometimes I'm human, yeah, so interesting. 

22:46 - Claire Strong (Guest)
You've said that because I agree. I mean I, I feel the same sometimes, katie. 

22:50 - Katie Fenske (Host)
I mean I'm always like losing it with the girls and not handling situations as as well as I know I picture girls being like so much easier, like to hear them. 

23:00 - Claire Strong (Guest)
I'm like. 

23:01 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Oh, thank the Lord, it's's just not my, just not my kid. 

23:04 - Claire Strong (Guest)
so for you boy moms out there, including you, katie, let me just set the record straight. I would say from the ages of zero to ten, girls are easier, okay, okay. So I think you've got the you know sticky end of the yeah, or you know short end of the stick when it comes to you know being boisterous and just kind of active and physical and never something off of the yeah. 

23:27
And then I would say from the ages of about 11 or 12, I'd say 12, actually we have it harder, Like a thousand percent we have it there's just so much emotion and drama. And so here I would say I mean there are many instances that I've failed. And the one that Christine is referring to is the time when I placed my very young bed and she rolled off onto a wooden floor. 

23:55 - Christina Struckmeyer (Guest)
I think that's the time it's been there. All of us have been there, oh my God. 

23:59 - Claire Strong (Guest)
Yeah, okay, it was that one, wasn't it Christine? No, but that's okay, claire. Oh geez, well, that was not good. 

24:08 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Anyways, let's keep going. I'm sure you have failures. 

24:18 - Claire Strong (Guest)
Yeah, so one of the one of the things that I struggle with is so I'm at the stage right now where my girls are really needy emotionally. You know they, they literally come home from school and they unload on me. Now I'm not necessarily the most. 

24:27 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yeah, that would be hard for me. 

24:29 - Claire Strong (Guest)
It is. 

24:30 - Katie Fenske (Host)
It's hard for me because I'm not naturally like well, like my boys. And here's the deal. 

24:35 - Christina Struckmeyer (Guest)
Katie, is you can? You have to take it in and you also can't try to fix it. Oh gosh, isn't that? 

24:43 - Claire Strong (Guest)
that's the kicker it's a real balancing act. Um, so I sometimes and if we're talking about like failures and where we're falling short, I don't do a great job of handling that right now, because, you know, by the time they come home from school, I've had a full day. I've been working, I've been, you know, sorting out stuff of keeping the house together, sorting out the dogs. I'm doing everything while they're at school, and so by the time they come home, I'm kind of tired too, and, I'll be honest, I'm not the most. I don't know the laid back's the right word, but I'm quite an emotional person too. It's not like I'm this, um, you know, like sea of calm and I've got everything together. I'm still figuring stuff out. I don't know quite what I'm doing with my life most of the time, and so then, for these two people to be looking to me for um solutions, god like where's the? 

25:36
adult. I need an adult to an adult, a more adulty, adult like I need someone else in here, please, please, help me out, and so I don't do a great job sometimes of that I you know. You know I can sometimes dismiss what they're. What they're telling me, you know, obviously whatever it is to them is really important. 

25:56
They've had a drama with their friend, but it's important to them, to us, you know 30, 40 something year old moms, we're like it's not, you know, wow, it really wasn't a big deal. And sometimes I don't mask it very well in my face. They can tell that I'm like uh-huh, okay, is there going to be like an actual problem here? And so I am learning to just listen and realize I can't fix it, but validate their concern because that is a big deal to them, even though to us it might seem like wow, if that's all I had to worry about today, my life would be great. 

26:32
Well, when you're a teenage girl, those little things are huge things and and obviously a more serious side to that is as a mom of teenage girls particularly, I need to be always cautious and aware of their like mental, frankly. And so, um, I need to do a good job of reacting and modeling. Good, you know, good emotions, I guess, good, um, emotional intelligence, because you know they are. They're still looking at me, even though they're not little anymore. They are watching what I'm doing and they're still learning from me as um, as people like to remind me. 

27:08 - Katie Fenske (Host)
So yeah, are you seeing so? I've seen so many studies that, like teens, preteens, right now, the level of anxiety is so much higher than it has been in generations. Are you seeing that in that? Oh, a hundred percent. 

27:24 - Claire Strong (Guest)
In fact, one of the guests that we'll have on our show at some point. Christina. She's the mother of my eldest daughter's best friend. Her name's Laura Morton. She's a New York Times bestselling author 20 times over. She's a very amazing, inspirational woman. She recently produced a documentary called Anxious Nation. I would strongly recommend any. All parents should watch it, but especially if you've got kids that are, you know, now getting onto social media. They've just got phones. 

27:57
Um, that documentary focuses on exactly that. It's called anxious nation because it follows the, the lives of, you know, half a dozen teens and or even pre-teens, and just kind of like documents the impact social media is having on their anxiety levels. And absolutely this generation is more anxious than any generation before them because in large part social media, very large part social media, because they're you know they're they're going on tiktok, they're on instagram, they're comparing themselves to, especially the girls, to other girls who you know are all using filters, by the way. So again, it doesn't. That's not their. Often they don't even look like that, but their lives are necessarily all roses either. But because the teenage brain is so underdeveloped that they they don't have that ability to reason and to to differentiate between what's real and what isn't. A lot of the time, and because they have that quick reaction um to things, that's what sometimes things can get out of control and and really devastating outcomes can happen. 

29:07
So, um, yeah, I mean both my girls have anxiety, especially my eldest. She had a terrible time in middle school, absolutely awful um. She unfortunately started middle school um as covid was still ongoing and so she wasn't able to go there in person, which really impacted her um emotionally, because she's a very social person by nature. And then it was just a downward spiral and the anxiety started kicking in, which then crosses over into depression, and it's a really difficult one. I mean that can lead to eating disorders, suicidal thoughts. I mean it's serious stuff. And so I mean my advice to anyone who particularly has teenage kids who have access to social media they've got their own smartphones please keep an eye on them, be aware, as a parent, of the signs of anxiety and depression. You know there are loads of articles out there that can help you, but just be aware, because prevention is so much better than the cure in this situation. It really is. 

30:13 - Christina Struckmeyer (Guest)
Yeah, a lot of our episodes that we produce are about mental health, and we usually focus on mom's mental health, but we've also crossed over to our teens, just naturally and talking, and we did an episode called Millennial Moms and Anxiety and we talked about this. But there's also the fact that everything's just readily available, that we can see all the things, and so it's like well, if you don't have anxiety, are you alive, like have you been on your own? Because, holy crap, like there's a lot going on. And then you know, with the social media platforms, they want you to stay on longer. So if you're interacting or spending time, you know with the social media platforms, they want you to stay on longer. So if you're interacting, or spending time you know, and. 

30:55
I noticed that you know, with a lot of world events that have happened lately, where it's like I'll watch a video through on one of the platforms, and it's just now showing me all of the videos you know, and it's hard because it really affects your mental health. 

31:09
You know, I I did an episode, we did an episode about miscarriage and I revealed to everyone about you know, my own miscarriage experience. But I remember when that was happening it my algorithm realized that was happening to me and started showing me videos about infant loss, about infant loss, and I had to go through and like manually block things because it was just, it was, it was feeding into this depression that was already existing and so I think a lot of our stuff is part awareness, like we're all a lot more aware about mental health, we're a lot more observant, but also the accessibility of like all of this stuff and the way the things are designed feed into it. But, man, it's a lot to think about. As a mom, you have like your own life, like we, we have these little bubbles. As moms, we're like trying to just keep your own stuff together, and then you've got these other little bubbles of people that you're completely responsible for. 

32:06 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yeah, and they have access to all this stuff we never did Like. I'm so glad, I'm so glad I'm in my forties and I grew up when this was not available. Like I did not have Facebook until my twenties. 

32:19 - Claire Strong (Guest)
Yeah. 

32:20 - Christina Struckmeyer (Guest)
And kids aren't bored anymore. Like do you remember? Like in the nineties what we would do when you were bored Like we'd go outside and find something to do or they're so used to like. 

32:31 - Katie Fenske (Host)
I'm gonna watch this show right when I want to. I'm like yes. 

32:35 - Christina Struckmeyer (Guest)
Friday. You watch the show on Friday. You might record it with the VHS if you're fancy yes, but you know this, I think it was you. 

32:44 - Claire Strong (Guest)
Christina mentioned a really good point a few minutes ago. I think we've always had anxiety. If you look back, I mean I I assumed I I was not an anxious person, but now I know what anxiety looks like more because it's as a society, certainly in the states, but I believe it's happening all over, because I think the UK is getting a little bit more open about this subject, which was a very taboo um, but because it's now okay to talk about mental health in a way that it wasn't before. Especially in England, we have that, you know, keep calm, carry on, stiff upper lip mentality like, oh for goodness sake, you know, get up and get on with it. 

33:21
There's nothing wrong with crying, right? Yeah, that that harks back to the World War Two era, actually in England. But so, growing up with that, anything that now would be obviously immediately classified as anxiety would have been you know me overreacting. You know you've been dramatic. You know, goodness me, you know you're crying over nothing. So, looking back, I'm sure I have had anxiety over the years too. I absolutely have. But I think the big thing which is a positive in my opinion, is that mental health is not as much of a taboo anymore. Certainly on the mom platforms, we talk about it a lot. Um, and that's great because the stigma has been slowly but surely removed from from that and it and it's so important because we're not weak, we're not failures and actually a lot of us struggle with mental health during our lives, especially as moms, because we have let's face it, ladies, it's so overwhelming, isn't it? We have it from all angles. 

34:20 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yeah, so true, so true. And there's so much more awareness now about mental health. 

34:24 - Claire Strong (Guest)
Which is a good thing. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Gosh, I feel like we could talk about so many topics. 

34:31 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Totally. 

34:32 - Christina Struckmeyer (Guest)
Keep going, but I want to be respectful of your time. 

34:33 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Okay, your podcast covers all of these things and more. Can you tell our listeners where we can find your podcasts? Cause I know you're not just audio, you're also video, so tell us about that? 

34:45 - Christina Struckmeyer (Guest)
Yeah, we are available on all streaming platforms. You'd find podcasts like Apple Podcasts, spotify, all that stuff. We're also on YouTube, like you mentioned. There's a visual where you can see our amazing outfits and we've tried not to repeat them. It's hard. 

34:58 - Katie Fenske (Host)
We were just talking before we came on. We were like sometimes I wish we were just audio so that we wouldn't have to like do our hair one day. 

35:06 - Claire Strong (Guest)
It's a wide deal. 

35:07 - Christina Struckmeyer (Guest)
Yes, maybe we might consider that in season three. You can also find us on all of the social media platforms and we're at Momversation Club. 

35:18 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Awesome. Well, thank you so much for coming on. I love chatting with you too. 

35:22 - Claire Strong (Guest)
Thank you, katie, it's been our pleasure and keep doing what you're doing, because we love you you too, thank you, thank you, you too, thank you, thank you. 

35:33 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Thank you to my special guests, christina and Claire, for coming on the podcast. I was a guest on theirs a couple months ago and I could not wait to have them on mine, just because they're so easy to chat with. They were so fun. So make sure you check out their podcast and if you are a fan of this one, if you like laughing at mistakes, if you love hearing about real mom life, then make sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel, follow on Spotify, follow on Apple podcasts, leave me a five-star review and come find me on social media. And until next week, I want to remind you that everyone burns the first pancake, so just keep flipping.