83. Is the Park Really Closed? A Hilarious Look the Lies We Tell Our Kids

Parenting isn’t for the faint of heart—and sometimes, it’s not for the totally honest either! In this episode, I dive into the hilarious world of the little white lies moms tell to survive another day in the trenches. From convincing your kids the park is closed to “saving” the last slice of cake for yourself, these fibs aren’t just funny—they’re lifesavers.

Tune in as I share the classic lies every parent has told, listener-submitted gems, and my own personal favorites. Plus, we’ll talk about why these lies might not be as bad as they seem and how to transition to honesty as your kids get older (because the Wi-Fi can’t be “broken” forever).

Whether you’re looking for a laugh, some new material, or just validation that you’re not alone, this episode is for you.

What You’ll Hear in This Episode:

• Why parents tell little white lies—and why it’s totally okay
• The funniest, most creative fibs from listeners
• My top 5 all-time favorite parenting lies
• When to ease up on the lies and focus on honesty
• A reminder that surviving parenthood sometimes takes a little creativity

Share Your Stories!
Have a parenting fib you’re proud of? Share it with me on social media or via email—I might feature it in a future episode! katie@burntpancakes.com

📺 Watch the episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOpw5ui4uxJHx0tLFVtpnfSkpObfc4d-K

You can find Katie at:
website: burntpancakes.com
YouTube: @burnt.pancakes
Instagram: @burntpancakeswithkatie
Email: katie@burntpancakes.com

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Transcript

Host:
Hey, mamas! Welcome back to [Your Podcast Name], the show where we dive into the wonderfully chaotic, often ridiculous, and always relatable world of motherhood. I’m your host, [Your Name], and today’s episode is dedicated to lies. That’s right—the little white lies we tell our kids to survive another day in the parenting trenches.

Before you clutch your pearls, don’t worry—I’m not here to shame anyone. If anything, this episode will have you nodding along and maybe even taking notes for the next time you need a quick fix. Because let’s face it: sometimes parenting is about improvisation, creativity, and maybe a smidge of deception.

Grab your coffee, your wine, or that cold, half-finished juice box you snagged from the counter, and let’s get into it!

Segment 1: Why Do We Tell Little Lies?

Host:
Let’s start with the why. Why do so many of us resort to these little fibs? Well, the answer is simple: because parenting is exhausting.

Think about it: your toddler just asked “Why?” for the 37th time today, your kindergartener insists on dressing like Elsa in July, and your middle schooler refuses to believe that vegetables are edible. Do we really need to give them the full, honest truth every time? Nope!

These little lies aren’t about being malicious; they’re about survival. They buy us time, protect our sanity, and, let’s be honest, sometimes they’re just plain fun. And hey, if Santa can bend the truth about flying reindeer, why can’t we stretch reality a little too?

Segment 2: The Classics

Host:
Let’s talk about the classics—the tried-and-true lies that parents have been telling for generations. These are the gold standards, and chances are, you’ve used at least one of them this week.

1. “The park is closed.”
   Every mom has pulled this one out of her back pocket. It’s foolproof, especially when you’re driving by and there’s no way your kid can check. The best part? You can reuse it for just about anything. “The toy store is closed,” “The splash pad is closed,” “Chuck E. Cheese is under construction.” Magic.
2. “We’re out of dessert.”
   This is parenting self-care 101. Sometimes, the last slice of cake or the only chocolate bar in the house is yours. I once ate an entire pint of ice cream in the laundry room while my kids thought I was “folding socks.” No shame.
3. “The ice cream truck plays music when it’s out of ice cream.”
   Whoever invented this lie deserves a statue. It’s so good, I almost feel bad using it. Almost.
4. “If you don’t brush your teeth, they’ll fall out.”
   Yes, there’s some truth to this, but let’s be honest—we turn it into a full-blown horror story. Add a dramatic gasp and, boom, instant compliance.
5. “We’re almost there.”
   Whether you’re five minutes or 50 minutes from your destination, this phrase is the ultimate car ride pacifier. It doesn’t matter that it’s a lie—sometimes you just need silence.

Segment 3: Listener Stories

Host:
Now it’s time for my favorite part: your stories! I asked you, my wonderful listeners, to send in your best and funniest parenting fibs, and you did not disappoint.

Story 1:
“I told my kids that the Tooth Fairy only pays if they floss. Now they’re more excited about flossing than getting the dollar!”

Story 2:
“When my daughter was potty training, I told her the toilet wouldn’t flush unless she waved goodbye to her poop. We both clapped and waved for weeks. It was ridiculous but effective!”

Story 3:
“My son once asked why adults drink coffee, so I told him it makes our brains work better. Now he tries to bribe me with coffee when he wants something.”

Keep these coming, ladies. They’re like parenting war stories, and I am HERE for it.

Segment 4: The Lies We Tell to Protect Our Sanity

Host:
Let’s dig a little deeper into the lies we tell when we’re just trying to make it through the day. You know, the ones born out of pure desperation.

“The Wi-Fi is broken.”
Nothing will get a teenager off their screen faster than this one. Bonus points if you make it seem like you’re calling tech support while you secretly unplug the router.

“Your toys are tired.”
This one’s perfect for toddlers who refuse to go to bed. Just tuck the stuffed animals under tiny blankets and tell your kid they need their rest, too.

“Mommy’s phone is out of battery.”
Translation: I need 10 minutes to scroll TikTok in peace without you demanding YouTube videos of talking trucks.

“That’s not what Paw Patrol says.”
This is my go-to when I need backup. “Chase says it’s cleanup time,” or “Skye says you need to eat your broccoli.” Works every time.

Segment 5: The Debate: Harmless or Harmful?

Host:
Now let’s address the elephant in the room: Are these lies bad for our kids?

Most experts agree that little white lies are harmless as long as they’re not breaking trust or avoiding serious conversations. In fact, they can even encourage creativity and imagination.

That said, as kids get older, it’s important to ease off the fibs and focus on honesty. A 3-year-old might believe the park is closed, but a 10-year-old will call your bluff—and probably Google it.

So, my advice? Use the lies sparingly and with love. And when your kid eventually calls you out, just shrug and say, “Hey, it worked, didn’t it?”

Segment 6: My Top 5 All-Time Favorite Lies

Host:
Before we wrap up, here are my personal top 5 favorite lies I’ve told as a mom:

1. “The batteries are dead.”
   This works for literally anything that makes noise. Bonus: kids rarely check for themselves.
2. “The swimming pool needs a break.”
   I use this when I’m too tired for water play. Apparently, pools need naps too.
3. “Disney only lets us watch one movie per day.”
   It’s not my rule—it’s Mickey’s.
4. “Your favorite stuffed animal is on vacation.”
   Perfect for when said toy is MIA or in desperate need of a wash.
5. “Mommy’s food is spicy.”
   Whether it’s chocolate, chips, or pizza, this lie is a game-changer for keeping my snacks mine.

Closing

Host:
Alright, mamas, that’s all for today’s episode. Remember, parenting isn’t about perfection—it’s about doing whatever works to keep your household running. And if that means telling your kid the cookies are all gone while hiding them in your closet? Well, I say you’ve earned it.

If you loved this episode, share it with a fellow mom who needs a laugh or maybe a few new fibs to add to her repertoire. Don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and let me know your favorite parenting lie.

Until next time, keep laughing, keep loving, and keep lying—just a little. Bye, mamas!