94. Modern Parenting Challenges and Triumphs with Ivy Brooks

Get the Alora Baby Monitor + App: https://www.littleone.care/?sca_ref=8311449.N2FYbX00ge

Ivy Brooks once faced an intense fear of childbirth and the prospect of navigating single motherhood. Her journey, however, is nothing short of remarkable.

In this episode, she bravely peels back the layers of her life, sharing how she overcame tokophobia and embraced her unexpected pregnancy with a spirit of empowerment. Ivy's story is one of resilience, as she found strength in Montessori principles and homeschooling, fostering independence and confidence in her son from an early age.

Her story serves as a blueprint for those navigating similar challenges, offering insights into how positivity and self-belief can pave the way for unexpected blessings.

Our conversation also ventures into modern parenting solutions, where technology plays a pivotal role. Ivy discusses co-parenting, the innovative use of tools like LittleOne.Care baby monitor, and the benefits of creating cohesive parenting strategies through apps.

With Ivy's heartfelt narrative, we celebrate the beauty and complexity of single motherhood in the modern world.

CONNECT with Ivy Brooks and LittleOne.Care
https://ivymbrooks.com/
Website: https://www.littleone.care/?sca_ref=8311449.N2FYbX00ge
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/littleone.care/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/little1careTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@littleone.care

📺 Watch the episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOpw5ui4uxJHx0tLFVtpnfSkpObfc4d-K

You can find Katie at:
website: burntpancakes.com
YouTube: @burnt.pancakes
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Email: katie@burntpancakes.com

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Transcript

00:08 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Hello, hello and welcome back to the Burnt Pancakes podcast. I am your host, katie Fenske, and, like always, I am reminding moms that everyone burns the first pancake. Today, I have an incredible momversation with a mom named Ivy Brooks. She became a single mom in the first trimester of her pregnancy and navigated something called tocophobia, which is the fear of child birth. Empowered by her education, she gave birth vaginally without pain medication Amazing, I am so impressed. She also practiced many Montessori inspired early development activities with her son before choosing to homeschool him from three years and in kindergarten through second grade. 

00:53
As a single mom, ivy knew she had to make him very independent to help her and his future self. 

01:01
At two and three, her son was doing things that I don't know if I can even get my 10 year old to do, but I think it's really inspiring to hear some of the things that you can ask toddlers to do and why it's so important. Her unique journey led her to resonate and support the mission of Little One Care, which is a company that created a revolutionary wearable baby monitor that could have served as a valuable companion for Ivy the first two years of her son's life. It's the first AI powered and radiation free. Pregnancy and baby wellness monitor, um, optimized to track and analyze key aspects of pregnancy and baby wellness, emotional bonding and wellbeing, pregnancy and baby wellness, emotional bonding and wellbeing, safety and physical and mental development. I think you are really going to be inspired by her journey and love hearing her open and honest conversation about all things motherhood that maybe not are, are not always talked about, so please enjoy my momversation with Ivy Ivy welcome to the podcast. 

02:04 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here. 

02:06 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yeah, I love chatting about motherhood and all topics of motherhood, so I know you're going to be a wealth of information for us, so why don't you start by telling us where you are, how many kids you have and age, if you feel comfortable sharing, sure, sure. 

02:23 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
I am in Las Vegas, nevada interesting place to be a parent of any kind, but I'm of the single variety, so I'm a single mom of an eight-year-old boy, so that that matters too. 

02:35 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yes, oh my gosh, I have an almost eight-year-old boy. Well, I have three boys and I can tell you, it's, it's a busy, busy, busy life. Right, you're constantly moving. 

02:46 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
Yeah, it is. 

02:49 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yep, not what I was expecting, but love it all the same. Um, so you became a single mom during pregnancy and your pregnancy experience, I think, is something that um other moms can learn from and connect to. So can you tell us a little bit about that experience? 

03:07 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
Sure, I never planned on being a mom, really Like it wasn't something. I was like anti. I just didn't really think about it, like when I was younger I know lots of little girls they imagine their wedding and things like that. I was never that girl, I was kind of a tomboy. I love my me time and I just I'm very smart and intellectual, I like to explore a lot and I just that wasn't something that was at the top of my priority list. And then, yeah, where do I go from there? And then, yeah, where do I go from there? I moved to Las Vegas from Minnesota, just kind of exploring, like I was talking about. And, yeah, I kind of got pregnant unexpectedly and everything changed after that, you know. So I went back to Minnesota to have my baby by myself and I don't know what to say about that. Um, that's. 

04:17 - Katie Fenske (Host)
It must've been a different experience than what I went through. Like I, you went to doctor's appointments by yourself, or did you have family go with you? What was that like? 

04:28 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
It was like a hundred percent by myself, most, most of everything, like, um, my dad actually flew to Vegas, helped me sell everything and we packed up my car and we drove almost the entire way back, which is a long drive when you're pregnant crunched up in a car, um, and during that drive you know, driving already is so meditative that you are thinking a lot and I was like I was on my phone like looking up statistics of single parents and like I don't want to be that and what are my goals, and but also like kind of devastated that I was doing it alone and very scared because, um, because I've always had a really irrational fear of pregnancy and motherhood and everything that comes with it, because, well, I don't know why actually that's it's called tokophobia, kind of this irrational fear of pregnancy. 

05:22 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yeah, how did? Okay. So the tokophobiaophobia how did that present itself? Was it like thoughts? Was it um anxiety? What did you feel? 

05:35 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
I think as a child, like I started already having like really strong feelings about it. It was very physical, like alien-esque. It felt alien to me, it felt like pain and I don't know why. I just didn't see the beauty of the way that people do, or the I love taking care of people, I love taking care of babies and you know, I dreamt of taking care of other people's kids in my dreams and that was fine, but for me, I don't know, it was just overwhelming and maybe, maybe it has something to do with becoming a woman in general. I I was not very happy when I got my first period and, um, I was like there, there is no God, like you know. That was, that was scary, that was overwhelming, that was a huge responsibility that way. 

06:19 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yeah, like I was not. It wasn't like, oh, yeah, you're a woman now. It was like, oh, what's happening to me? Yeah, right. So then you experienced that again when you were pregnant. 

06:29 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
Yeah, and before that, you know, because you have relationships with men and none of them were particularly pressuring about having children at that time. They kind of are more now actually but it was still a fear that I had and I I would have nightmares about it. I have lots of cousins, I have a huge family, my cousins have four kids each like, and I I would have nightmares about their experiences. So I had a um, I have a cousin who has I think she might have more than four kids now but I dreamt that you're assigned like a single mother, as like a mentor when you are pregnant. 

07:12
This is before I even got pregnant and she in my dream was walking around with a bunch of like. It was like green jello and it was this like medicine that you had to eat, this. She said you have to eat this all day, every day, because if you don't you're going to bleed out of every pore in your body, like that's how I viewed it being pregnant. And then the end of the dream was me laying in bed with my cousin both of us pregnant and I started bleeding all over the butt or all over the bed while we were watching TV. So if that doesn't describe, you know, an irrational fear of pregnancy, right? 

07:46
So there's a moment you find out you're pregnant where you just like like it was so many feelings, like I don't know what anyone else experiences. I'm very strong, like I can turn any negative into a positive, not even that it's negative. I actually I didn't know if I would ever. If I got pregnant, you know how would I feel about, um, like abortion or adoption and things like that, and I I kind of you know thought what I might feel. But you know, when I was pregnant it was like I'm keeping it. You know, it wasn't that wasn't your initial like your first instinct, yeah, yeah. But I was also kind of in disbelief and scared and just didn't know what was going to happen. And then also just like being strong, you know how you have to do when you're just like something's happening boot up. 

08:40
We're soldiers now put your feelings aside, or at least you know kind of gauge them. You know. 

08:47 - Katie Fenske (Host)
While you were going through this, did you know that tokophobia was a thing Like? Did you research it? Did you have anyone say like, yes, this is something that people go through. Or did you feel like I'm the only one that ever experienced this? 

09:01 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
I didn't think much about it, just like I didn't think about anything else you know if I could think less about it, I would. 

09:06
You know I I didn't think about it. So yeah, I don't know when it really I don't know when I discovered that it was that because the whole thing was just so overwhelming. I mean, I had a lot to do when I got to Minnesota, like I had to get myself a place to live. I needed jobs. I got multiple jobs. I was like I was in a program for kind of more. Usually it's like more at-risk youth. You know that are pregnant. So being treated like an at-risk youth was interesting when you're 25, but like they didn't know who I was at all. So I was like you don't know who I am, like I'm going to figure this out and I'm going to succeed and I'm going to be a great mom and it's okay. I'll tell myself that, you know. But yeah, they were very kind of pro adoption, so that was. I shut that down immediately. 

09:57 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yeah, that must've been really hard to hear, like how, when you're going through that, hearing that, knowing that's not what I want. 

10:06 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
Right yeah. 

10:07
It's hard to be doubted in general, but it is also like a fuel and I don't know. I do feel like I'm not religious, but I am very spiritual and this was like God was, I feel, right by my side the whole time. So it was. It was probably one of the most spiritual times of my life because my prayers were always answered. I mean, the whole time I was keeping like an abundance log because I had no money. I was in debt like $5,000. And you know, that's kind of a small amount actually compared to what people are experiencing today. 

10:44
But we're all different. I shouldn't say that. But I would be like I'm going to lean into this, I'm going to be healthy, I'm going to go get a blender and I'm going to eat smoothies, and then, like I'd go to Target to get a blender and just pick out whatever full price, and then I'd get to the register and they're like oh, this is like 93% off, like just really weird stuff. I got checks in the mail for like lawsuits that I really wasn't involved in, you know just random. 

11:12
Like how did they even find me? I had a new address. 

11:16 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yeah, okay. So what's your technique? Do you for manifesting right, for manifesting law of attraction? Do you journal, do you? I mean, I have a money plant in my house right now money. 

11:25 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
I see your background looks like a mission board it does right, I love that. Um, I I was very into like meditation and just like as pure as possible like meditation, prayer. To me, those are like the same thing. I'm constantly in a conversation with God, so it just was that I was alone and all I had was God to talk to a lot of times, and that was sometimes, you know, scream, crying in my mobile home. 

11:53
But, um, it just worked out. I actually had a, um, I had a stone that I got. I'm not into crystals too much, but I just having little trinkets to represent things sometimes is just a good reminder to carry around. And I had one for my son's dad and I definitely kind of manifested like reconnecting um in that realm. I would take my baby in my mind and like show him around his dad's apartment Like, cause, I don't remember you know every little detail of that kind of thing. 

12:29 - Katie Fenske (Host)
So just visioning and vision. 

12:33 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
Yeah, I'm a visualizer, but I really think that everybody has different ways of connecting to the magical side of life. You know, and to me, all of it is prayer. You know, it's it's prayer and action, you know. 

12:50 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yeah, okay, so you go through this pregnancy and then you decide to have an unmedicated birth. Like how did that? 

12:57 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
happen? Well, because I was so scared of the. I was so scared of the birth, Like I watched birth videos and they, they made it look really easy, which didn't make me feel like, oh my God, I'm going to have an easy birth. 

13:12 - Katie Fenske (Host)
I was like oh, my God, I'm not going to have an easy birth. There's no way that these are, like you know, the birthing classes and stuff. 

13:18 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
Well, because I was in that program, um, I was given the opportunity to take a bunch of educational stuff like baby care. I can't remember all of them, but that's what put my mind at ease, was like I'm going to be at least prepared, and I'm really sad about the fact that those aren't just readily available. They're very expensive I think it was hundreds of dollars to take like a birth class. I think that I got for free. You know, like I think I toured the local hospital. I ended up going to a hospital that was an hour away too, like, and I I was, so I was scared of the care that I was going to get. I had a birth plan, which is it should be really common, but it's not, um, and I had doctors like laugh at me for having these ideas, and I was alone, so it was like no one to rushing. 

14:08
That was almost the worst part of it, because these are the professionals that are supposed to be taking care of me and I'm alone and this is my worst fear, and I know that these things should be normal to ask for to like just to have any power at all. 

14:27
Just have that taken away from you, like they literally told me, like I can't do this to my colleagues and I'm not even going to be the one at your birth because we're all on a rotation, you know. And I was like I I think I called um kind of a more a smaller town's birth center that was an hour away and I was crying, I think I was at a pay phone even, which, like is weird that that existed at that time. And I was like what? Like can you take me? I was 38 weeks, I think, and they were like this, this is like the cutoff to take you as a patient. Um, we don't normally do that. And I was like, well, what if I just show up? And they're like, well, we can't deny you care. And they kind of supported that, you know, if I needed to. But they did end up making exception and I through that program, sorry, this is like all over. 

15:13 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Oh, that's great. 

15:14 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
That's great and do the homework. They would give you like monopoly money kind of, for their store. So I had lots of lots of diapers, I had two jobs and I paid for a doula in the monopoly money and her and I are still connected today and I love her, you know. So she was there. You asked if I was alone. 

15:38
She was there and she took me to this like 38 week appointment to go to a new hospital and the that doctor was like so on board, so like validating, and she was going to be there and you know she came in at like the last minute. It wasn't even an inconvenience for her. She's like oh, you're doing so awesome. 

15:59 - Katie Fenske (Host)
You know, push it out. Oh my gosh Wow. 

16:05 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
Yeah, that's I mean I I did have pitocin. So just you know, because I know people are like how exactly did it go? 

16:11 - Katie Fenske (Host)
you know yeah, that doesn't stop the pain at all. 

16:15 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
The pitocin makes it a lot worse and I don't know. You know, because I only had one so how long was your labor? 

16:23 - Katie Fenske (Host)
how long did you labor for I? 

16:25 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
don't know, like, because I know they, the active labor is like a different thing. Yeah, I want to say yeah, like they. You know they start saying it like if you, what are they? If you dilate to a certain number, that's like when it starts. That's difficult because they kept shoving their big glove up me and saying it was like yeah, and saying it was like a dilation of a certain amount. 

16:51
And then it wasn't and I actually was like get this nurse away from me because she keeps coming in here and I keep getting so discouraged because I wasn't, I wasn't opening up and my sister had almost the same identical birth like three years prior to me. We both gave birth on Good Friday. We both went to like sister hospitals like an hour away and we both opened up only after we got in the bathtub. Like I think we have like medical anxiety or something. So like, yeah, Wow. 

17:25 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Okay, so you have your baby. Were the first years. Were they really hard? Like it was hard for me and I had my mom nearby, my sister nearby, I had a lot of support and it still felt really hard, was it? What was your experience like having a newborn and a little one? 

17:42 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
I did have. I did have quality support, like when I went back to Minnesota I was like I'm not going to tell anyone. I came back. 

17:49 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Like it was already. It was hard enough. I was like the right people are going to find me. 

17:52 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
That was just another like spiritual move I kind of made, and the right people did. I had a best friend who a male who, like, took really good care of me. He took care of a lot of the house stuff, um, like, he changed out my hot water heater and all that. My aunt and uncle, they, they got this mobile home at auction. Um, I was making payments on it. I ended up making money off of it, selling it. I basically flipped it, lived in it for free for like six months and I ended up coming back to Vegas. 

18:20 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Um when? How old was your son when you came back? Eight weeks, oh, wow, Okay. 

18:32 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
So the choice was, you know, his dad offered to be, you know, to try the family thing, and I otherwise had everything set up to not do that. I had a daycare lined up, I had made enough money to have a very modest maternity leave. I guess you know. So the you know, the choice between putting my baby in a daycare and just going to work as a single parent in a place I never wanted to be. 

18:51
I didn't want to be in my hometown. I came back to Vegas and was like this is what's best for my baby. I like, if I have the opportunity to give him two parents that are together and a stay at home life for however long it lasts. It lasted a year, so that's what I did, and was it hard? Okay. Then my parents moved to Vegas permanently Okay. So they are now in Henderson it's like a suburb kind of and they they've been helpful. So we were. We were surrounded a little bit, a lot more than when I was pregnant, you know, okay. 

19:28 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Okay, okay. So he grows up a little bit and you got interested in the Montessori parenting style. Can you tell us a little bit about what that philosophy is and what attracted you to that? 

19:40 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
Yeah, my sister. You know she had the baby, my nephew three years before me, so together, you know, we kind of were navigating circumcision and you know, the birth stuff and just these new chapter life decisions we had to make. She actually has a degree in early childhood education, I think she might have. She's also the one who told me I could give birth alone and do all this by myself too. So big credit to her, just kind of being my angel in that way. 

20:15
I think she recommended this book. I don't remember what it is so I'm sorry, but it's a popular Montessori book that goes through the stages and like what you can do, what they can learn and how they benefit from it. So I kind of just kept that book around and I think that was one of my only books that I was referencing. Yeah, and I love it. I just think, if nothing else like even if you're not super into that kind of stuff it's a way to bond with your kid and I think the more life skills you can instill in them, the more confident they'll be, and I think confidence is everything. That's how I've gotten through all of this, you know. 

20:55 - Katie Fenske (Host)
What are some of like the principles of Montessori I? 

21:02 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
wish I was like brushed up on it. 

21:04
But to my understanding, and what I kind of practiced was bringing the world to them and to their level. So they don't feel like a little person in a big world, they kind of feel like a bigger person in a little world. So a lot of people will set up their nursery Like the earliest thing you can do, kind of, is set up your nursery in a way that empowers them, so like maybe they're not in a crib, there's no cage, it's just a like a mattress on the floor, and then that's what I've heard of yeah, and you can like bed. 

21:33
Exactly I did. I have a lot of things at his level, so, um, like, why not put the clock at his level? 

21:41
and like this is you know, you can point to it, just be like it's time to go somewhere, like right and then way up here on the wall yeah, and then so I'd have artwork, like really cool, um kind of sensory, abstracty looking artwork and like the little kitchen but like with real stuff so he could peel his own cuties. And um, I had, you know, little teacups and things for him to pour his own milk, and you know it's so cute. I have, I have videos and videos of him just doing things that you wouldn't expect a toddler to be able to do, even the swimming. I mean. Go, if you want to geek out about something that kids can do, that you're like what, it's the babies that swim. I tried, I really tried to get him. 

22:26 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Oh my God, it's the babies that swim. I tried, I really tried to get in. It's amazing, the ones that like will flip themselves over and, just like float on their back. Yes, but now I have a six-year-old who still can't swim yet. We don't have a pool, so it's hard to practice. Yes, so, Montessori is a lot of like teaching independence, right yeah, what were some things that you like he could do that probably the most of us aren't having our kids do. Yet you said pour his own milk. 

22:49 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
Right, or get you know. We had little routines. He had to go to daycare so that I could work and, um, I packed his lunch, but he would be responsible for carrying it. Like I know that's not like a no, that's huge. 

23:04 - Katie Fenske (Host)
I still see kids like fifth graders where their moms pick them up from school and the mom has slung over their shoulder. I'm like how do you? How do you do that? 

23:11 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
Yeah, I'm like the opposite of like the helicopter mom, like yeah, I'm like you can do it, you know. Yeah, so he, he would hang up his own jackets. And I think it's really important to learn cleaning skills and organizing skills at an early age, because, okay, it really teach organizing. I would love to know what were some things you did you know I didn't do this early, but like now it's like your dirty clothes go in the dirty laundry basket, like that's easy. 

23:40
But the earlier you start that, yeah, yeah, easy boy moms, yeah. So that's that's one thing. Um, even just having them kind of sit around while you're having to do something that they then can appreciate, like that, I am doing laundry, yeah, and things like that and the cooking. I liked to involve him in that, so, um, I think one of the earliest things I had him doing was like the Pillsbury dough and kind of rolling the hot dogs in it. Yes, yeah, I would put it in the oven. You know, I would do that part, but yeah he would prepare it because I I've heard too. 

24:16 - Katie Fenske (Host)
It makes them better eaters when they're involved in the food process oh yeah, they, they definitely. 

24:22 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
He was a great eater when he was little, very adventurous, you know, I guess maybe this type of stuff made him passionate too. 

24:33 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Oh, I love that. So you decided to homeschool him initially. What were what, what drove that choice and like what were some of the benefits that you saw from homeschooling benefits? 

24:44 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
that you saw from homeschooling. The reason why we, collectively with my co-parent decided to was the kindergarten year. Although he got into a really good school and he did go there for two months, it was very uncertain. 

25:00 - Katie Fenske (Host)
It was like 2021. 

25:01 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
And it was, like, I think, the second year of COVID and they had just decided and let everyone know we are going to return to the buildings instead of doing the on school thing or the online thing, and but they were required to wear masks all day. 

25:17
Had they had we visited and they'd have like plastic dividers with these kids and they're they're already in such a tiny space and then the teacher's wearing mask and they're trying to learn for the first time in that kind of setting. My son, he always had like kind of like little little nervous ticks, you know, and that kindergarten is such a big deal to just, especially when I was so close to him always for a long time. We're very bonded, like they're not ready to separate from you. I know, when you've raised him that way, yeah, and then you drop them off at school and people are just yelling like get into that door and just no stopping. 

25:58 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Don't get out of the car. 

25:59 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
Yes, yeah, that was really hard, okay. So then I I made him like the most comfortable masks I could like. I got out the sewing machine, I went to the fabric store, I got the thinnest like fabric and it was comfortable, and I even put like pipe cleaner in the nose part so he could like kind of make that how he wanted to. 

26:18 - Katie Fenske (Host)
But he would just like suck on the mask and I'm like, oh god, this is working you, my kid would come home and it was just like oh, this is disgusting, this is not keeping you safe, right? 

26:30 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
So there was a lot of political stuff going on in Vegas, especially with the school board. We were following it closely. His dad is involved kind of with the school system to teachers were not treated very well then they suffered when they came back because the kids were behind not just and I spoke to them very intimately too and we're we're in parent groups like the, the biggest people. We are really connected, like we have emergency, like we know the news before, like if it ever even makes the news channel it, it won't yeah, and we we follow everything that goes on in every school. So just, um, I don't even at that time. 

27:13
I'm a freelance marketing strategist and I work from home, but that's not always like a guarantee. You know what's, what's going on with my portfolio and stuff. Um, and it was kind of an uncertain time at that time and I just went for it. We just decided. We kind of came up with like a little financial agreement. I think I prepared the best I could, but I knew there's so many styles of homeschooling and that you don't have to know right away. Right that we just dove in. My friend was moving to Vegas from Laughlin and I homeschooled her kid with my kid for a while Like they had two beds together in the in the bedroom. 

27:53 - Katie Fenske (Host)
I made the whole thing like classroom and so it's hard to stick to a schedule, cause I feel like even with my kid's homework, I'm always like we're going to come home, we're going to do their homework, they're going to sit at the table and that just gets thrown out the window. So I can't imagine if I'm like every day we're going to start at nine o'clock, we're going to do it. I would have a hard time sticking to that. 

28:13 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
Yeah, I hate that and you have multiples and that's very difficult. I think it's like a one room classroom. You have to like learn that skill. It's like you got to do research on that and they all need you at the same time. Yeah, I think it it'll help you to have a schedule that you can always default to, especially with little ones. I think that they'll do it better a schedule. So, like, compared to my kid, I mean they're all different, but my kid now he wants to do whatever he wants, you know, and that's why he he's trying school this year and you know it's a lot. He's trying school this year and you know it's a lot of structure for him, right, and I think it's a good experience. But I learned so much homeschooling, like every kid learns different. But also I think homeschooling with the right parents, I think, and the right attitudes and the willingness to kind of bend to what your kid needs, is more conducive to learning. I think humans learn different than the schools treat them. Oh, I agree. 

29:15 - Katie Fenske (Host)
I mean I feel like 30 kids in a classroom with a bunch of very wiggly active boys. That's not made for them, but you know a lot of times I feel tired. I'm like I can't have all three of them home with me all day. So yeah, no options that working for us, and but I do wish there was, I don't know, another way to do it. 

29:39 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
That's the hardest part. Yeah, it's. It's a lot for moms usually but I do know homeschool dads and I know over 20 single homeschooling parents which I think is phenomenal. 

29:50 - Katie Fenske (Host)
So you found a nice community of homeschooling parents where you are. 

29:54 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
Yeah, most people, most places, I think, have a more, a bigger community than you know. Um, and I just like put it out there you know, you connect with who you want to in the community, kind of. And these people are my best friends, they're my son's best friends. Um, they're great people. They're successful because they're as hungry and they're alone like me, so you have to be, and we kind of help each other out, you know. 

30:18 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Right, okay, one of the stigmas I feel like of homeschooling is the kids need to socialize. Did you feel like your child did not get socialization from being homeschooled? 

30:29 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
No, like I'm very outgoing, he's very outgoing I put together I have a nonprofit for homeschooling now and it was about putting things together that were social and educational that weren't out there already, cause there are so many. There are really so many educational things and social things. But it kind of depends on the parent, because if you have a parent who has social anxiety, then it kind of gets passed down to their kids or it definitely whatever a parent is, is is it's going to affect their kids. So I kind of talk about that online whenever it kind of comes up, cause I'm like there are homeschoolers that hate how they were raised and they have whole organizations about how they're kind of against homeschooling. But just like any school system, it's absolutely. 

31:20 - Katie Fenske (Host)
I mean, there's no perfect option. I mean here those kids will say that. But my son says every day don't send me to school, it's torture. I'm like, okay, it's not torture you, just it's boring for you. But who knows what he'll say when he gets older. My mom forced me to go to school. 

31:36 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
They all have their own perspectives and I'm I'm really the biggest thing that I'm sick of hearing about homeschooling. Um, I think the homeschoolers get really defensive about anything that is said negative about homeschooling and I think it would be better if we could all just be honest, like homeschooling is very hard, yeah, and not everyone is meant to do that, right, yeah, it burns us out. It burns us out. 

32:02
It's like constant pivoting and it's different for everyone and we all have kind of untold stories, I think so but and everybody doesn't want their, they fear regulation and things like that, so they don't talk about it and they're just they kind of influence each other to just shut up about the bad things, you know. But yeah, yeah, it is not a perfect solution, right? I'm like if I my son being in school now, I'm like this is great for all son being in school now. I'm like this is great for all of us to see what this is like. I have a greater appreciation for school systems not the system, actually it's. It's a system. I think that's failing everyone. But these teachers, they deserve better. The kids deserve better. 

32:41 - Katie Fenske (Host)
They're really trying, you know, to fix it Right, and there really is no perfect option. Yeah, yeah, even like the school that's like so amazing. There's still going to be something that someone's like why I didn't get an email yet, or you know, just like there's yeah it's never going to be perfect. So, right, yeah, okay, I want to talk a little bit about um little onecare. So you've partnered with, like a technology company, um, for baby monitors to support moms. Can you tell us a little bit about that and how you found them? 

33:16 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
Yes, okay. So, um, like I said before, I'm a freelance marketing strategist and when I saw this baby monitor it's called the Laura baby wellness monitor. It's meant to be worn while you're pregnant and then, when you give birth, you transfer it to your baby. It's a wearable monitor, it's kind of like a fit tracker, but it replaces all kinds of apps. Like I, when I was pregnant, I would have had, you know, I breastfed for two years, so I did the breastfeeding bracelet. You know I was trying to keep track of, like right Now I have lopsided boobs. 

33:50 - Katie Fenske (Host)
What time, oh my? 

33:50 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
gosh, how long, yeah, I fell asleep. Yeah, all of that. I didn't do the sleep training thing but like I wish I did and I you know the education piece. For me it was so important while I was pregnant and after, because I was a freak about like just you can't learn it all, you know. But, right, little one dot care with the baby monitor and the complimentary app. Like the app kind of trains you to be a better parent, like that little 1% every day, and it gives you all these tools that, like I wouldn't have even known that there is, like the sleep training and being able to easily track your baby's sleep. You can manually enter when you're putting them down, the feeding schedule, the diapers, so that you find out, basically, with this data that you're collecting, if they're having allergic reactions to stuff, like even when you're breastfeeding, if they're pooping really bad because of something you ate. You know, you can kind of see the patterns. It's awesome that way, but I mean it's loaded with stuff you can. You know I I probably would have liked to add um, his dad to the app and then you know we can work together on things and he can feel connected while he was away, cause I was a stay at homehome mom. 

35:05
We had a big disconnect and I think the first year in a relationship is extremely hard, uh, with a baby, and that the more you can feel like a cohesive team and dads can feel like they're really important because they are. Like his dad had stronger fatherly intuition than I did. Um, I think it would have just made us more of a team and I think it's. It's a modern solution, that's it's so new. I think people are like that's putting something like that on your baby weird, but we live in a modern world, like as natural as having babies are with people. We don't live in a natural world really anymore and we need help and I think that would have given me peace of mind knowing my baby's safe, like there's a bunch of safety features. It will track if they fell. Every baby I know has fallen. 

35:57
I just want to tell all parents that, yeah, every baby, especially off the bed Yep, guilty. Yeah, exactly. Nobody wants to talk about it. Just like the homeschool thing. Yeah, up the bed yep, guilty. Yeah, exactly. Nobody wants to talk about it. Just like a homeschool thing. Yeah, so it'll track falls and um, shaking. You know that's not a concern these days, as I mean it is, but I remember in the news and things, people would worry more about their babies being shaken and stuff um, and but that's all, not even the main features that littleonecare has designed this for. So it has the safety features. It has the village that you need, even if you're a single parent. You have access to all these baby experts in a directory. You can chat with them right through the app and then you have all this data. You can even add them to your account and they can see your baby's data and kind of make sense of it too. Them to the your account and they can see your baby's data and kind of make sense of it too. 

36:48 - Katie Fenske (Host)
And then when the pediatrician asks all those questions, you're like yes, let me look that up, I can check, or probably gives you talking points when you talk to your pediatrician. Cause I would go there and be like I don't know, Like I don't know if I have any questions, I don't know what I'm doing and your baby can't speak this. 

37:01 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
This kind of gives them a voice, like if your baby can't speak this. This kind of gives them a voice, like if your baby's you know staring into space and you don't know why and you have no data and you're tired. You know you're not keeping a notebook of everything that's going on. This is your little baby diary and some people use it like um kind of a memory book in a in a weird modern way. But it also like the biggest thing about it is the bonding and the developmental metrics that it's tracking um, because we know from studies how important, like music exposure can be to their brain development, tummy time for their physical development. It tracks all that stuff so, and a lot of it is manual and then you have or not manual, sorry automatic. 

37:47
It tracks a lot of things automatically, but you can also tailor it to whatever you're doing. You can press on it and it'll take a voice note, so you can track literally anything you want. 

37:58 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Wow, that's incredible. Okay, I'm going to have to look this up. Okay, while you were talking about that, you were talking kind of about co parenting. Do you have just some tips from your own experience? What has made co parenting work or not work for you? 

38:14 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
Um, I think having agreements like me and my co parent, we have come up with agreements together. You know, avoiding court has always been in my opinion. From all the information I've gotten from a lot of resources like avoiding court is one of the best things you can do. I know it's so difficult and you might not be able to, but then having a structure with you know different articles in it, like you know, obviously we are on the same page with education and medical and all that. Um, because we discussed it, we got on the same page. We put our kid first, um, but apps are very helpful to keep communication all in one place. Um, we used close app is one of the apps, okay, but then if you are separating like we did, we we separated when my son was one and obviously before that, but the little one, dot care app, keeping us on the same team with a baby and being separate, right, that could have been cool, because before this didn't exist, before, like, a whole bunch of this didn't exist, my career wasn't much before. 

39:27
um, we would have been more on the same team and we would have had access to a lot of data and we were texting, you know, we were texting how our baby's day went to each other and instead we could just kind of see it and check the app. 

39:40 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Look on that that's so interesting Cause I just worked with um. I'm a potty training consultant and I worked with a couple who they are co-parenting and so it's interesting to hear she was like okay, on his days, this is what's going to need to happen, and like the dad was involved in the texting and stuff. So it really is, you know, on your part, communication, which is key, yeah. 

40:01 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
Yeah, right, and I, I mean that's kind of your whole foundation, I and I, I mean that's kind of your whole foundation, I and I just hopefully, you know the two people have what it takes to to meet each other in that one place where your kid is what matters most and you have to figure out how to agree. Otherwise someone's going to tell you both what it is going to be, you know, and we, we wanted to avoid that. 

40:27 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yeah, and I'm sure it cannot be easy. You don't always see totally eye to eye on everything, but it's kind of given to you for some. 

40:33 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
Yeah, that's very hard. 

40:35 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yeah, okay. So my podcast burnt pancakes. We're all about making mistakes and learning from them, so every mom has a burnt pancakes moment. What's one parenting fail that makes you laugh now? But maybe was a big deal when it actually happened. 

40:51 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
I mean I got to say it's like getting pregnant. Getting pregnant, you know, since I think I feel like I've just navigated it the best I could and I I take it with. You know, I take it in stride, um, but that was, like you know, the biggest slap in the face when you're not expecting it. And I know people feel that way too, when they have children, grow up completely and then all of a sudden they're pregnant again. You know, that's I feel like that's kind of my burnt pancake. I feel like he, my son, is my burnt pancake. I only get one. Maybe I might not have a partner, I might not have more children, so try not to mess up this one Experimenting. 

41:34 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Well, I'll tell you I have three and they're all burnt. I'm messing, I'm messing up every day, but I mean I look back and think like when my oldest was a baby. I just felt like, oh, I'm such a failure, I can't do it. And I look back and think like when my oldest was a baby. I just felt like, oh, I'm such a failure, I can't do it. And I look back, I'm like I got through that, like, and I got through that stage. 

41:51 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
So they love you though, and I think that's all that really matters. Like me and my son are close. We forgive each other, like I always. My home is a forgiving house. That's what I always like have is one. One of the cardinal rules here is like we need to get over things because we need each other, you know Right. 

42:11
Right so we're kind of. You know it's weird to say like equals or like I'm not his friend, you know I'm his mom, but um, we definitely. I give him a lot of power and autonomy and I think it's worked out pretty well so far. Right, like mutual respect. 

42:28 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yes, huge Love that. Well, thank you so much for being so open about these topics. I know like it's probably not easy to always share this, but I really think a lot of our listeners are gonna take a lot from this. So thank you so much for coming on. I hope so. 

42:42 - Ivy Brooks (Guest)
Thank you for facilitating it the way that you have. 

42:48 - Katie Fenske (Host)
A huge thanks to Ivy for coming on the podcast. I know some of the topics that she was sharing about are very personal and I really appreciate her talking about single motherhood and what that was like for her, her journey with homeschooling. These are all topics I think it's important that we get out and share and get into the open. So thanks to Ivy for coming on and thank you to all of my listeners. We're hitting year two. I cannot believe this year two of the podcast, and it would not have been possible without all of you tuning in, leaving reviews, subscribing to the YouTube channel and just being a part of this journey with me. So, to all of you, I want to thank you and remind you that everyone burns their first pancake, so just keep flipping. Thank you.