99. I Didn't Think I'd Be THIS Kind of Mom

Before having kids, the mom I envisioned myself to be is a little different than the mom I actually turned out to be. 

From being a sports obsessed mom to letting my kids eat everything in the car, on this episode, I reflect on the type of mom that I am today. 

Whether it is bribing my kids or allowing way more screen time than I expected, this episode is a fun reflection about how my unique motherhood journey has shaped me into the person I am today.

📺 Watch the episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOpw5ui4uxJHx0tLFVtpnfSkpObfc4d-K

You can find Katie at:
website: burntpancakes.com
YouTube: @burnt.pancakes
Instagram: @burntpancakeswithkatie
Email: katie@burntpancakes.com

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Transcript

00:08 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Hello, hello, and welcome back to the burnt pancakes podcast. I'm your host, Katie Fenske, reminding moms that everyone burns their first pancake. Today I'm diving into something that I know so many of us can relate to. It's how we all thought we had ideas of what kind of moms we would be, and then reality hit. You know, before kids, we thought we'd be that Pinterest mom, that organized mom, that very patient mom, and now, well, let's just say things have taken a turn. So today I wanted to share some things that I never thought I'd do as a mom. But here we are, and I know I'm not alone in this. So if any of this hits home, make sure to DM me or leave me a review, a comment, on YouTube. Share this with your friends so that other moms can have a laugh as well. Alright, before we get into this, I do want to give a big shout out to today's sponsor, cozy Earth. 

01:05
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02:23
I said I was going to share the kind of mom I didn't expect I would be. Now, the first thing I didn't expect that I would be this obsessed with kids sports, but if you know me or have listened to the podcast for a while, you know that I live and breathe for my boys' sports. I love it so much. Now, before kids, I used to roll my eyes at those sports moms like you know, the ones that were screaming on the sideline, getting super into it, wearing team colors and driving all over town spending their Saturdays at tournaments, replacing family vacations with out-of-town tournaments. I swore I was not going to be that kind of mom. Yet here I am wearing I'm actually wearing my baseball shirt today because we have a game later. I'm wearing team colors, I have my football mom shirts, I'm Googling how to remove grass stains and dirt from white pants and genuine believing that this is the game that could change our lives. I am so into it. 

03:20
But, in all honesty, there's something about watching your kids out there. That is truly the best thing in the world. My boys are all playing baseball this year, so I have T-ball, I have what is he? Single A, and then my oldest son's on 11U team. It's crazy, there are three schedules. Yesterday, no joke, we had two baseball practices and a game all happening at the same time. It's a lot, um, but I'll be honest, I wouldn't think of a better way to spend a Saturday than at the ball field all day long. I love it. 

03:57
Um, when Ronan gets up to bat, I I mean my friend jokes like I literally my heart is beating out of my chest. I am so nervous, I'm so into it. But seeing them out there succeeding or just having fun with their friends, like doing something out there. Becoming little people is so much fun, not to mention that it's like a social event for me. I have made lifelong friends with other parents on the sidelines. Some of our best friends that we hang out with right now are friends that we made when Ronan played t-ball back when he was five. 

04:32
We just spent four days in Arizona in March for Ronan's baseball tournament. Now, when I was younger, I had cousins who played like they were very into sports and I remember thinking like that is so crazy that you're going to spend your like Thanksgiving break or you know your time that you could go on a family trip at a tournament. Um, I didn't consider that like a family trip at all, but we got back from this trip from Arizona and, yes, we spent you know he had five games while we were there in the four days Um, but we had so much fun. The two little boys they we took them with us. They loved the hotel pool. They love staying in hotels, like you just bring them anywhere and they're fine. They spent hours playing with other siblings on the team at the playground. They ate hot dogs and I see is all weekend. Um, the team bonded, we bonded with the parents. It was just so much fun and I really started to think, like this is what it is. I would give up a family trip to wherever and do this instead. I am totally fine with that. 

05:38
Um, football season's right around the corner and that starts in July, so we barely get a break, um. But if you are ever on the fence about tackle football, I am telling you if your kid wants to do it 100%. It is so much fun. You just get so I get so involved with the games. Like I'm the mom I know this is so crazy. I'm the mom that like scouts the other teams on the apps and looks up what their record is. I'm the mom that like scouts the other teams on the apps and looks up what their record is. Who would have thought Like I? 

06:12
I grew up with a sister and I played some sports, but I pretty much did it because I wanted to be around my friends. I didn't love. I played softball. I remember hating it. I was terrified of the ball, but all my friends played and I wanted to hang out with them. So that's why I did it, but it's. It's just so much fun. There's that social aspect to it. Here I am now the team mom. I know the rule book inside out. I have the schedule memorized. It's just, it's kind of funny how motherhood shapes you like that. Okay, well, I could talk sports all day. 

06:42
But let's get onto another thing. Um, I didn't realize that I'd be the mom that's okay with fast food and junk food and happy meals and all that stuff. So, pre-kid me, I was totally thinking I'd be that mom that had homemade baby food. My kids would never eat um, french fries and fast food. Um, they definitely would not eat. In my car, of course not. But now I literally count the drive-through as survival. There is no shame in that. Um, I'm tired of feeling guilty about what my kids are eating. I mean, my kids are fed, we they're, they're happy, they're growing. We're trying to give them a somewhat balanced diet. You know, if I throw in a frozen pizza, I also give them some carrot sticks on their plate um, some days that's just how we survive. Our schedule's busy um, you know, when we get home from sports, like, we leave the house today at four o'clock and aren't going to get home till about seven 30. So the thought of doing a home cooked dinner after all of that, it's hard, do I? Wish sometimes I was more prepared and I could do like a crock pot meal and do all this? Yes, but that's just not the way I roll right now. I love the whole type B mom thing going around Like this is what a type B mom is like. That's kind of how I am. I'm like we'll feed you a hot dog at the game. That'll be fine. 

08:14
I do remember when I was pregnant I registered for this like homemade baby food or pureed food, pouch maker. So you know how you can like buy pouches at the store. Well, this one, you make your own pouches. You make your own food, make your own pouches. And I just thought like this was going to be me. I was going to be this kind of mom that like gave my food, my kids, really good food. Well, never once did I use that thing because it was just so much more convenient to get it from the store. And when you have a little kid running around and you're running on almost no sleep, it was just really hard to think about making my own food and packaging it and then sticking in these little pouches and it's just a lot. So, do my kids eat as well as they should? Not, but we try and balance things out. Um, I am still talking to them about, like you know, you have to eat, um, some healthy food before you have a slushie from the snack bar. You know we're we're just trying to balance things out, but never my wildest dreams would I one let my kids eat in the car and to eat as much junk food as I think they do now. 

09:24
Okay, moving on, I did not know that I would be the mom that allowed so much screen time. Um, the judgment I had before becoming a mom I never thought my kids would really watch that much TV. Um, they were only going to watch educational shows and definitely we would never bring tablets or phones to restaurants. Okay, but fast forward to real life and my kids have their own TV in their playroom. I know, um, they have their own like YouTube profile and Amazon profile, cause we don't want their shows mixing with ours. 

10:04
And I have used the TV as a babysitter before. I mean, there are days when I'm trying to record a podcast or meet with a client. They're off over summer and I'm like, if one of you walks in right now, I'm going to lose it. So go watch a show and you're going to be fine. Also, in the car on the way to Arizona, I used to always say my kids should be able to entertain themselves on a road trip. They should be fine just sitting in the car. That's what I had to do. But we got to the point in the car ride where we're like we just want to put on a podcast and listen to it in peace and quiet and not hear them arguing and fighting all the time. We just want them to chill. So, yeah, we did break out the iPad, um, during that five hour ride and it was kind of pleasant. 

10:50
So, honestly, screen times is one of those things that, when used in moderation or you know a little more than we thought we would, it does save your sanity and sometimes you just need a moment to like drink your coffee in peace. So what I can think about this is I just really wish I hadn't felt so guilty back in the day for letting my kids watch TV, when I'm realizing they're turning out just fine. Their brains aren't rotting, like I tell them they. It might, um, and we're doing it for survival, like I tell them it might and we're doing it for survival. That's kind of what I'm gathering from that. Okay, here's a small one. 

11:32
I didn't think I'd ever bribe my kids but I totally bribed them. Like Maverick the other day I was like if you get your shoes on, you can have a snack in the car. Like I thought I would be that parent that just had like natural consequences and all good things. But then here I am saying like these threats, like if you do this, then you can have your ice cream after dinner. Like eat that one carrot I put on your plate. I totally bribed them. I negotiate with my five-year-old like I'm closing a business deal. So didn't think I would be like this. But again, here I am with kids and I'm like this All right. 

12:13
I also did not know I would let my kids go to school with holes in their knees of their pants, looking like slobs. But I swear I have the worst dress, slobbiest kids on the planet and I kind of don't care anymore. Uh, pre-kids, I thought I would be like totally on top of laundry my kids would have like nicely done hair, clothes were clean, nice looking. I mean I wore a uniform growing up so I just kind of thought that's what you do at school. My kids don't have uniforms. If their pants fit and they're not completely falling apart, I'm letting them wear it. I learned early on having a boy they will get holes in their pants immediately and if you try and fix it they will get more holes and they don't care about having holes in their knees. So buying a new pair just means they're going to destroy them in a week. So at this point it's, I guess, cool to just have holy pants. And Ronan has a couple pairs of sweatpants that are like stained and ugly, but they're like his favorite pair. He doesn't want me to throw them away, so it's fine. 

13:26
I used to think that it was neglectful to let your kids wear worn out clothes, but now I realize it's just being a realistic parent. Hand-me-downs are the only thing that Maverick wears, so we're just kind of used to it. They look like slobs and when I say goodbye in the morning I think to myself I hope no one's judging. I hope the principal's not judging that one's not wearing a sweatshirt, because I told him a million times this morning to grab a sweatshirt and he still didn't do it. But that's the way. We're rolling to school, all right. Um, let's see. 

13:54
I also didn't know I would be that parent that sneaks off and hides in the pantry before kids. I thought I would be handling everything gracefully and I would be the most patient person on the planet, because I was a teacher. Teachers have to be very patient and I was a patient teacher. But no, no, I have lost my mind with my kids and sometimes I just need a moment of peace, and if I go to the bathroom, they will follow me. So now I have learned to go to the pantry or to pretend like I'm making a phone call, or to go in the garage and check on something, because I just need a moment of peace from them. I just need a breather. Um, there's nothing wrong with that, I just need to be alone. Um, I didn't think I would lose my mind and yell at my kids the way I do, but I don't have as much patience as I thought I did before I had kids. So I don't know. 

14:48
The last thing you should know is that, um, I always knew I would be a mom, but I didn't know how much I would love the chaos of it and how much it would shape my life. Despite all the messes and the exhaustion, being tired, the things I swore I'd never do, I would not change this world. It is crazy, it is exhausting, but it's also this beautiful journey we're on. I really do truly think I was meant to be a mom. This is part of the reason I'm here on the planet and, um, it is better than I can imagine when I look at myself in college. 

15:34
If I would have thought back and said what am I going to be like at 44? This is probably the like, the best thing I could imagine Happily married. We have a beautiful home. I have three kids Never thought I had three, but I cannot imagine anything else. And even on the hardest days, I really would not trade this in for anything, cause, at the end of the day, when you're like tucking your little kids in bed and you think about, like, how lucky you are to have them so, ending on a sentimental note, um, if you find yourself thinking, wow, I didn't think I'd be this kind of mom either, just know that you're not alone and we're all figuring things out. We're laughing together, um, and sharing this journey as we go. 

16:23
Now, if you love today's episode, make sure it should make sure to share it with fellow moms who might need to hear this. And if you have your own I didn't know I'd be this kind of mom story Let me know by DMing me on Instagram, so you can find me at burntpancakeswithkatie on Instagram, because I'd love to hear from you. All right, that is it for today's show. Go have some fast food hide in your pantry if you need to, and get ready for another episode of the Burnt Pancakes Podcast that will come out next Friday. And just remember that everyone burns their first pancake, so just keep flipping.