104. Uniting and Supporting Moms Through Shared Experiences with Nikki Brooker

Today I welcome Nikki Brooker, founder of Yana, an organization making a significant impact in the lives of mothers. 

Nikki shares her journey into motherhood, beginning with her marriage to her middle school sweetheart and their subsequent move to Colorado. Facing the challenges of raising children away from family, Nikki recounts how relocating to Ohio introduced her to a supportive community that profoundly influenced her motherhood experience. 

Listen in as Nikki explains how these experiences inspired her to establish Yana, with the mission to help mothers feel connected and less isolated.

In this episode:

(00:09) - Changing Lives Through Motherhood Organizations

(07:04) - Building Community in Parenthood

(09:52) - Empowering Mothers Through Support Groups

(22:11) - Support and Resources for New Mothers

(31:34) - Balancing Responsibilities in Motherhood

(42:50) - Yana M2M

Connect with Nikki Brooker:

Website:  yanamom.com

Instagram: @yanam2m

📺 Watch the episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOpw5ui4uxJHx0tLFVtpnfSkpObfc4d-K

You can find Katie at:
website: burntpancakes.com
YouTube: @burnt.pancakes
Instagram: @burntpancakeswithkatie
Email: katie@burntpancakes.com

🚽 Did you know Katie is also a Certified Potty Trainer? 🚽

☎️ Schedule a 1:1 chat today: Schedule Here
💻 Digital Potty Training Course HERE
📖 Potty Training E-Book HERE
🆓 FREE potty training resources HERE
Instagram: @itspottytime
Tiktok: @itspottytime_

Transcript

00:09 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Hello, hello, and welcome back to the Burnt Pancakes podcast, the podcast where we're taking the messiness of motherhood and turning it into a momversation. I'm your host, katie Fenske, and I'm reminding moms that everyone burns their first pancake. Today, I have an incredible guest named Nikki Brooker. She is the founder of Yana. It is an organization that is changing the world, one mama at a time. Inspired by tragedies that happened in her own community, she started this organization to support moms, and the work she is doing is beyond incredible. The amount of work and passion that she puts into this organization is truly inspiring. So we're going to hear about how this organization formed, what it's doing in the local hospitals where she lives, and how she is truly making a difference in this world. So stay tuned for this very inspiring momversation. Nikki, welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much for having me. 

01:12 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
I'm so blessed to be here. 

01:13 - Katie Fenske (Host)
I I'm very excited to talk to you because I think you are doing something incredible for moms, so let's dive in, let's hear from it. So, before we talk about your organization and everything you're doing, can you just walk us back and tell us when you became a mom and what that experience was like for you? 

01:32 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
Absolutely. I never get to talk about my mamahood journey, so that's exciting. Yes, I was married at the age of 20 to my middle school sweetheart. We're still together this year. This year is 30 years. We've been married Congratulations. Yeah, thank you. I've been with him since I was 12 and he was 15. So we have literally been through it all. 

01:57
And so we had our first baby in the year 2000. And we were living in Colorado and we had no family and tons of friends, but nobody who had kids, and so we were literally on our own. We were on an island and I was like, wow, this is fun. I don't know how to be a mom by myself like this, and I'm an extrovert. So, being alone in the house, like I renovated the entire house, I repainted everything because I was like I got to have something to do while she's sleeping, and I was a teacher, you know, taught for over 20 years and so, yeah, so that was number one. And then number two came along in 2003, in the middle of the biggest snowstorm in the history of Colorado where we were literally snowed into the hospital and they wouldn't let us sleep Like I. 

02:39
it was insane. So then, after having baby number two, I was like okay, now I really can't do this by myself. Like this is, this is hard. And so we actually picked up and moved across the country to be closer to family. Yeah, so we're both from Northern Michigan, we're living in Colorado and we said let's go home. So we couldn't my husband's in aerospace engineering, and so there was no aerospace in Michigan and so we got closer, but we ended up in Cleveland, ohio. Okay. 

03:09
A little bit closer, yeah, a little closer, but also not because you're still quite a drive away from family. But what it gave us that was the ability for number one me to stay home. I didn't work while I was in Ohio because the cost of living was so much less, and so my husband worked and I got to be at home with the kids and I engulfed myself into the community there and it was so many stay at home moms and so many groups, and there was a preschool parents club with over 250 moms in it. 

03:41 - Katie Fenske (Host)
And I remember walking in. 

03:42 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
I remember walking into my very first thing in a gymnasium of an elementary school and literally bursting into tears and being like I found my people. I found it. I found what motherhood should look like. Like. Oh my God, it was like changed my everything Right. And it's interesting because I, you know, my kids are now 24, 22 and 18. And now so we had our third baby, and the great story about that is, if you know anything about Michigan and Ohio, they don't love each other when it comes to sports and especially the college sports. 

04:12
So my husband went to Michigan and it was hard for him to live in Ohio, I will tell you. And then we had our third baby and we were at a party and friends of ours said, oh look, now you got yourself a little Buckeye. And my husband looked at me and said put the house on the market, we're out of here. And we literally moved back to Colorado 30 days later Cause he was like I will not have a Buckeye, I will not have a Buckeye. 

04:33
He's a diehard. Oh, you have no idea. So that was the end of that. And so then, when our son was born, we moved back to Colorado in 2007, just three months after he was born. And so when he was old enough to talk and people say, where are you from? He was like I'm from a state I can't say so I think I'm from Colorado. 

04:52 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Oh, that's hilarious. No, well, my husband would very much agree with you. 

04:56 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
Oh, good, good, he's a. 

04:57 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Michigan fan. Yep, oh, awesome, love that. I've heard a lot about the dislike of the Buckeyes. The dislike, yeah, wow, how was it Okay. So, moving back to Colorado, were you able to find the same community there? 

05:13 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
So funny. We moved to a different part of the same area, but different, and so we moved to a place that's called Highlands Ranch which has four rec centers Okay, tons of families. We moved in in. I remember finding the house and we had, you know, some things we really wanted. We wanted to be on a cul-de-sac, we wanted to open that back back to open space, we wanted a free car garage, you know like four bedrooms, like all of these things, right, and we walked into this one and it was in a cul-de-sac and I remember going to see the house and there being kids everywhere in the cul-de-sac and I was like I don't even care what the inside of this house looks like we are moving here. 

05:50 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Oh, that's fantastic. 

05:52 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
When I moved to that cul-de-sac. We had 24 children living on that cul-de-sac. It was like we hit the lottery. It was amazing and, yes, we found our community. We found Highlands Ranch turned out to be a phenomenal place to raise our kids and schools and rec centers and groups and it was amazing and I went back to teaching and it was, it was good, it was. I'm so glad we made that choice. 

06:17 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Right, okay, I can totally attest. So we do have a good amount of kids on our block, which has, especially during the pandemic, that was huge, um, cause they weren't going to school, so the fact that they could like at least be with their neighbors we could be with our neighbors. We used to have five boys that lived literally across the street from us. Oh my, my son. They would pick up little baseball games in the front yard, like it was so cute to see that. 

06:43
I love that they've since moved. So sad, but like having that in your neighborhood is huge. 

06:50 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
It really is, yeah, especially in the summers, and it was amazing. It was, it was a really. My kids talk about it now to this day Like we had the best childhood. We had kids, we had friends, we had things to do. It was amazing, that's great. 

07:04 - Katie Fenske (Host)
What would you say to people that don't have that? 

07:07 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
Go find it. Go find it Now, I'm not saying go move into a different house, which maybe, if that works, right. 

07:14
But I will say and that is one of my biggest, that will be my life legacy is go find your people, and sometimes those people have to change and that's okay. 

07:25
I think that we get stuck in. Well, these are my people and these always have been my people, and that's great If you're all going through the same things at the same time. Like you know, that's that was the big issue with us is we had this great group of friends, coworkers and friends and community when we had our kids, but none of them had kids and it was like oh, this is, this is not the same, like it's not. So then we had to find new people, not to say that those people weren't always going to be a part of our lives, but you have to go in. There's that saying, there's a reason in a season that everybody's in your life oh my gosh. Like that is so true, especially in motherhood. Like there is a reason in a season and the people that you had when your babies were little might not be the same people you have when you have teenagers, but it might be and you might come back together after you know who knows right. 

08:12
But find your people. Find your people because motherhood, parenthood, should never be done on an island, it should never be in silos, it should never be alone, it truly takes a village and it's not just a village for the kids people, it is a village for the parents, like it is about mom support, and so I've kind of created that kind of everywhere I've gone. So when we did move to Ohio, I was talking it was funny, we moved in Thanksgiving weekend and if you know anything about Ohio, like that is the greatest, most cold, nasty time Nobody comes out of their home and I was losing it. I was like I need to meet people, and so it wasn't until March when everything starts to kind of like melt and the sun comes out right. And so I remember being in my house and I looked out in the backyard and there were three women standing out there and I was like get your snow stuff on, we're going outside. I was like, get your nose up on, we're going outside. 

09:06
I was so excited to go meet somebody so I went running out in the backyard and introduced myself and I was so excited to talk to people and they all had their kids out and my kids came out to play and we started talking and I said, oh my gosh, I need to get involved in groups and mommy things. And they said, oh, we have a babysitting co-op. And I was like you said what that's incredible. And so I went to this babysitting co-op and I was like you said what that's incredible? And so I went to this babysitting co-op and I was like, oh my god, this is amazing. 

09:27
The problem was is that babysitting co-op had been going on for 10 years, so all of those moms knew each other, they all had older kids, they all were. And I was like I have little, like I need to start a new one. So I asked and I started a chapter and they were like heck, yeah, you can. So I started a second chapter of that babysitting co-op. That babysitting co-op went until that was from 2003, until the pandemic. I think it died over the pandemic. 

09:52 - Katie Fenske (Host)
So you, you watched other people's kids, Like everybody watches each other's kids. 

09:57 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
Yep, and you swap coupons instead of money. I never in my life have paid for a babysitter. 

10:04 - Katie Fenske (Host)
That is so brilliant, brilliant. I have actually never heard of that. Oh my god, really yes life-changing especially in the summertime. 

10:11 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
These were my best friends, these women, all you have a meeting. It's very structured, it has like a president and like it has it has structure to it, which is funny, because every a lot of people I talk to you say, oh yeah, we had one of those. It didn't last like right, cause you didn't have the structure, like you didn't have the jobs and the responsibilities, and blah, blah, blah. If you put it together and I actually have it all figured out it's on my Etsy site, funny enough, where you can like buy the whole kit and start your own and we'll help you. 

10:39 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Like oh, my God, I need the link. 

10:41 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
I love that it's amazing. So anyway, I started that in Ohio and then I moved back to Colorado and then I started one here in Colorado, which also just passed. It just ended over the pandemic, but it went from 2007 until the pandemic where mom's just you, you trade coupons for babysitting. It's amazing, it's, it's, it's, it's pretty awesome. So anyway, I started both those groups and then, and then I started Yana. 

11:07 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Okay, so let's hear about that, cause I can kind of see where your foundation in mom groups happens. So how did you start, yana? What inspired you to do that? 

11:17 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
So back in, I was a teacher for over 20 years. I was here in Colorado, in Highlands Ranch, and I had been teaching in the project of North Denver, up in Pecos, in I-70 and it was rough, it was kind of destroying my family and my 16-year-old at the time. I would tell them oh, you guys have no idea how lucky you are. You live in this charm life. I'm literally putting food in the backpacks of these kids or they won't eat over the weekends. You don't get it. And so after four years of this, my 16 year old says to me so let me get this straight. You created this life for us and now you're mad at us. We have it. 

11:52
I was like, oh yeah, she's graduating from law school this year, if that tells you anything. So I was like oh, my husband's like I think you need to quit your job. I said I think I need to quit my job. So I said I think I need to quit my job. So I quit my job and I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. But stay in education Cause I'd been a teacher forever. Have a bachelor's. My son said can you come teach at my school? Well, the, he was at the elementary school that all three of my kids went to. I was very, very ingrown in that, ingrained into that school and I was like what if I was having you? I know right, like like a fourth grader who wants their mom around. 

12:26 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yeah right, my oldest. I have the option to help with the art lessons every couple months and I'm like do you want me to come to your classroom? He's like no mom, you'll embarrass me yeah, he's. 

12:38 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
He's always been a mama's boy and I'm very happy about that so yeah, so, okay. 

12:44
So then I um, I went to the principal and so the principal called me. Actually, um, november 20, november of 2020 of 2016, she called me and said hey, I need you in the building tomorrow. I was like, well, that's weird, uh, who am I subbing for? And she's like, nope, I'll tell you tomorrow, okay. So when we got there, they put us all into a room and they told us that Jennifer Labor had picked up her three-year-old and her five-year-old from our school the day before. She drove behind a building and she shot and killed both of her kids and herself in the family minivan. Oh my gosh. And they said we have these subs here, a family from your school Yep. 

13:20
And I didn't know her and I didn't know her kids. But they said we have these subs here who are just here to help. So my job was to just go check in on teachers, check in on kids, make sure everybody had the support they needed. They set up a whole counseling center, everything. So this sixth grade boy walked in from the outside mobile buildings and he was sobbing and I walked up to him and I said hey, buddy, what's up? And he said Ethan was my reading buddy. How am I supposed to be okay with the fact that his mom murdered him? I said, honey, you're not supposed to be okay with that. And as I walked him to the counseling center he looked me right in the eye and he said how do I know my mom's not going to kill me tonight? 

13:57
oh my gosh, that changed me and a lot. I still tear up thinking about it. It changed me in so ways it changed me as a mom and as a teacher and as a human that this ripple effect of Jennifer's struggle will reach hundreds of people, like thousands of people, it's not just a family of four. 

14:17
This ripple effect is huge. So then I went to the kindergarten classroom and they were making pictures and I said what are you guys doing? And this sweet girl says, well, our friend Ethan's dead, his brother's dead, his mom's dead, but his dad's not dead. So we're making them these pictures to make them happy and. 

14:31
I was like so your core kindergarten memory is this for your rest of your life? But that's not okay. So then fast forward two months. Only two months later, we had a second mom take her life and the life of her 10 year old daughter in our community, and that little girl was best friends with my girlfriend's daughter. So then I thought from that side of it with this little 10 year old I'd known her whole life who said mommy, um, I don't think I'll ever trust anybody ever again like this. Is that what just happened? My best friend is gone, and I thought of that mom as the second mom, like how do I? 

15:07
do her. 

15:08
I knew her and that little girl struggled and I, that's when I threw my hands in the air and I said, for the love of God, I cannot open the news or hear the news and see this ever again. I can't see this, so we can't do this again. So what are we going to do? We're going to have to do something. So I put it out on my personal Facebook page and I was like all right, let's just see if we can support moms, let's see if what we can do, right. And so we thought, well, let's put it up there. A bunch of my friends said, you know, hey, let's start a support group. Hey, let's start a nonprofit. I'll tell you what, katie. I didn't even know what a nonprofit was. I was like I know they go off and do good things in the world. That's about all I got. 

15:48
Like I don't know what it is and so I was like I heard of it Exactly. So I was like, all right, sure, I don't know how to start one, but I could not have even given you step one, right? And so this woman was a friend of mine on Facebook. She's like, oh my gosh, I'm let's, let's, let's work together, let's. And I was like great, what's that mean? And she's like, well, when I'm not using the gym, you can have it. I was like, okay. 

16:11 - Katie Fenske (Host)
So we have a location. 

16:12 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
I was like step one location. So then she's like come speak at my grand opening. And I was like okay. So I went in and I gave a spiel in front of 150 people and I said you know, hey, I just want to do something to help moms. If you know anything, come talk to me. And this woman walked up to me and said hey, have you started the paperwork for the 501c3 yet? And I was like funny, you should say that You're right. Funny, you should say that. 

16:41
I said I just sat down with the book Nonprofits for Dummies and after three hours I was in tears and my husband came and said what's the matter? And I was like I have a master's degree and I have no idea what step one is. Like I don't even know what to do. And she said, oh, that's awesome, you can just throw that book in the trash because I'm going to hand you my nonprofit. I said, come again. She's like I have a 10 year old nonprofit. It's been sitting dormant for two years, Great condition, with the secretary of state and the IRS. And I just said to my husband the other day somebody needs to do good in this world and we need to hand this to them right, like the stars just put it out there exactly wow and then she goes oh, and we have 1500 in the bank. 

17:23
You can have that too. So literally within 10 days of me putting it on my facebook page, I had a location, a 501c3 and 1500. Still didn't know what the heck I was doing, but I was like I don't think you needed to. Here we go. 

17:36 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Someone was telling you, get this thing started. 

17:39 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
The universe was telling me it's all right here, just go make it work. So we did and then we started off. Our first program was based on the AA model. So we had gatherings and playdates at that gym where moms any mom, didn't matter where you were in your momahood journey just come and talk to other moms. So it's every week at the same time at the same place and any mom could come. It was a free time to them to just come and the kids got to play and run around and the moms just got to connect with each other. And then we offered any mom who wanted one a support mom, and a support mom is like a sponsor in AA. It's just another mom who can say I've been there Because, especially in Colorado, over 70% of moms who give birth in the state of Colorado are not natives to Colorado. Oh, interesting, they're not nobody's from here. 

18:25 - Katie Fenske (Host)
So most likely don't have family, probably don't have a big friend group yet. Nope, that was me? 

18:30 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
right, it was me, and so that's why we said well, we've got to start this, we've got to give this to them. 

18:35
So that's how we started in April of 2017, eight years ago and then the pandemic hit, and we did that with hundreds of moms and we supported hundreds of moms, but then pandemic hit, we couldn't have the in-person gatherings anymore, and if you don't have the in-person gatherings, it's hard to get people matched. And I was like, okay, something's got to give, we got to do something different. So then, over the pandemic, I did a bunch of research on what other countries do to support their moms and went. 

19:04 - Katie Fenske (Host)
well, I'll be damned, that's a lot more than we do. There's a lot out there, right, holy cow. 

19:10 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
What are some things other countries are doing that we're not In Europe? They automatically give you pelvic floor physical therapy after you have a baby Automatically. So like here, where you have a knee surgery or a hip surgery or shoulder surgery. What do you get? You get PT, but if you have a baby and you're sliced from pubed bone to pubed bone and that is the most invasive surgery you can have because it's the most layers you cut through you get nothing Nothing. And if you push something out the size of a golf ball, you get nothing, nothing. That's ridiculous. 

19:39 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Right. I mean I didn't even know what pelvic floor therapy was until I had my third, so it's like I didn't even know that was an option. Yep. And I still have to ask the doctor and get a referral and find one. 

19:52 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
Yep. You sure do, and it's just handed to you in Europe. In Canada, they send a doula to your house to help you with your laundry every day or every week for six weeks. 

20:03 - Katie Fenske (Host)
What a difference that would make, can you? 

20:05 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
imagine, can you imagine? And when I did all that research, I was like, okay, well, the US is behind in a lot of things, but this one's really behind. So what if we gave moms the support they deserve? What if we support the people who create the people? Don't all the people win, doesn't everybody win if you support people, moms? If you support moms, everybody wins. So that's when I was like, okay, we're going to start a new program and that's called Strong Mamas Driving Babies, and that program is a hospital program where every single mom who gives birth at one of our participating hospitals is given a full year of wraparound support for free. Wow, okay, what's included in that? So what's included? I walk into, we walk in every single hospital room and present the program one-on-one, face-to-face to every single mom. So it is a look, mama, you matter, like you gave birth and that baby's really important and we're so happy for you, but you're also a human and you matter. So we give them that one-on-one face-to-face, we take in our tablet and we register them right there on the spot. If they say yes, that means they don't lift a finger. We do it all for them. So the first part is when they leave the hospital, they get an app. The app is our app on the app store. That is just for the moms in our program. We vet every single mom who registers for that app. So that's just our mamas. That's a place for them to chat with each other, plan play dates, there's a calendar of events, there's discussion rooms. It's a safe online space just to be with the moms in our program. 

21:32
The next part are in-person gatherings that we have every single week at every hospital we're at. So right now we are in three hospitals. We have three in-person gatherings a week. We literally hand them a village of moms, all in messy buns and yoga pants, and we say, well, you're all going through the same things at the same time. Let's talk about it. And we do. We shut the doors and we say listen, cps is not waiting to take your kids. We are here as moms Say the thing this is your space, right? So then we just give them the talk. We talk about your win for the week. We talk about your challenge for the week. We talk about what do you need help with? Are there resources you need? Are you feeling like you could use some additional mental health? Are you thinking you need pelvic floor. So we talk about all of those things. 

22:11
And then the second half of those gatherings, we bring in community experts who give moms tips and tricks on mamahood. So we bring in a pelvic floor physical therapist who says, hey, she brings a model of the pelvis and she says this is what your pelvis looks like and this is what happened to it and now you got to try to put it back together and this is how you can be doing that. These are the exercises. It's an expert in the room giving them advice and then they say here's some things that you might need some additional help with If you're leaking, if you're whatever. These are the things that we can help you with if you want to come see us. 

22:44
But it's never a selling. We never sell to our moms. It is just resources. We bring in the county, we bring in developmental pathways, we bring in the libraries, we bring in mental health, we bring in sleep experts, sleep experts, and then big one, that one in breastfeeding, and and then we bring in an infant massage expert. Oh my gosh, this woman is amazing. She comes in and shows you this is not the only way to burp a baby Like you can move gas, manipulate it the way that you need to like things that people don't even think about because they're so tired, they don't have the time to figure it out, and when you go down the rabbit hole of Google. 

23:24 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Lord, help us all Right At some point Watching all those videos. Oh my gosh, doing all those groups? 

23:28 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
Oh no, so we give them that. And then the last part of our program are text messages and phone calls that come throughout the full year of motherhood, first the first full year that are from another mom. So another mom picked up the phone and says hey, how you doing? Are you struggling? How can we support you? I'll say probably seven to eight times out of 10, we get voicemail on those because people don't answer the phone all the time, but we leave a message. We have a whole script and it's just we leave a message and say we're here for you, this is our number, you can call or text us anytime, we're here for you. So it's just giving them that online, in person and on the phone connections that they wouldn't have otherwise, that they go home to these, to their homes, in their silos, and try to do this parenting thing by themselves. Right, doesn't have to be that way. 

24:13 - Katie Fenske (Host)
What I love the most is that you go to their hospital room and you tell them about it in person, but you're also making it aware that this might be a little difficult or there might be challenge not that there's going to be, but like had someone told me when I was in the hospital room like, hey, if things feel hard, there is support Cause. I went in thinking I'm 33. I, you know, I did my preparing, I know how to do this, and then I got home and I realized this is so much harder than I thought, 33. I've, you know, I did my preparing, I know how to do this. And then I got home and I realized this is so much harder than I thought and I feel like a failure and I did not know I was going to feel this way. 

24:49
So, like if someone had told me in the hospital like, hey, look, if, if you need any help, you need someone to talk to, cause I was the kind of mom where I also was an extrovert and I kind of needed like a group. But I was living an hour and a half away from my family and friends. We were kind of in a newer city and I didn't know where to look and I did not expect myself to, I didn't expect it to be so hard. 

25:11 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
Yep, I couldn't agree more and, as somebody who babysat from the age of 12, like I, have always loved babies. Yes, I'm great with kids. I'm a teacher, I was a teacher I'm going to be great at this. 

25:22
I'm going to be great at this and am I great at this? I don't know that I'm any better than anybody else, but I will say that not having the support from the beginning was so hard on me and I and I didn't even know what I didn't know. I didn't know what I needed. I didn't know that having other moms made a difference until I met them in Ohio, where then I could be, when it was our neighborhood right, and we all kind of came together and my husband would come home from work and it would be like five women and 30 kids and he'd be like, okay, all right, another night of all right, yeah. And I was like these are my people. 

26:02 - Katie Fenske (Host)
It was magical. 

26:02 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
That sounds like heaven to me and it's so hard to find that. Yep, it really is. It really is hard to find that. And when you, and then the whole like, like you said, like there are things that happen that you're like, is this normal? Should I be feeling this way, should I think that, should I have an intrusive thought? Oh my God, that's horrible. 

26:15
And I'll tell you, it took me until I started this program to realize that intrusive thoughts are absolutely normal and happen to 99.9% of women, but nobody talks about it because they're scared that they're crazy, or I'm going to be judged, or you're going to take my kids away, or oh my gosh, I'm a horrible parent because I had these thoughts. And it wasn't until I started this group that I was talking to a mental health professional and we were talking about it and I said, you know, a mom mentioned that maybe we should talk about intrusive thoughts, but I'm not sure. And she's like you absolutely should talk about it. And I was like, why? And she's like, cause they're normal. I'm like, oh, tell me more. 

26:53
And she's like I said, oh my God, I one. And she's like, yeah, if you open up the door and say I had one too, because they all look up to you like you're, you know something special, then they'll feel okay to talk about it. So we do. We talk about intrusive thoughts that are in person gatherings where I'm like I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours, and they're like, wait, you had one. I'm like because they're normal and so we talk about, and then I talk about. But it's not normal when you're having them all the time, all the every day. You're you're standing at the top of the stairs thinking about throwing the baby down the stairs. You're that's when we got to get you some help. But if it's one of those thoughts that just kind of flies through your head and you're like, oh my God, I can't believe I just had that thought, I can't believe that just happened, totally normal. 

27:34 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Right, but then in the fact that, hey, if you are having those thoughts excessively, there is help for that, most moms just kind of suffer alone, like what's wrong with me? Until they kind of come out of it at some point three years later it's like, oh, I could have gotten help then I could have gotten help, and why did I suffer alone? 

27:52 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
You do not have to suffer alone. There are so many other moms who are sitting in their houses feeling the exact same way you are and who are sitting in their houses feeling the exact same way you are and there's so much different levels of support. 

28:02 - Katie Fenske (Host)
So for someone who's like an introvert, who's like, ooh, those in-person classes, I don't know, or that new mom who's like I can't get out of the house, you have the phone calls, you have the messages. 

28:12 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
And that's the idea. The idea was we want it to be full circle for everyone. And do you have to do it all? Heck, no, do you have. You can do whatever you want. 

28:24
It's interesting because we also send out a reminder email at the beginning of the week with all of our in-person things. So, hey, don't forget, we're here, we're here, we're here, we're here. But then at the end of the week we send a recap of all the resources that came to the in-person gathering, all the things that are going on, so that even if you didn't come, you can still get the resources. We don't want there to be a barrier to that, right? But it's interesting because we'll have moms who have been in the we're, you know, hitting we're at 15 months. So for the last three months we've been hitting the one years. Right, we've had for a year, we've had for a year. 

28:51
And we ask them, you know, in the phone calls we ask them like, tell us what's the best part of this program, how can we improve it? What do you need? Right? And I have so many moms who say to me listen, these phone calls have been amazing. No one's asked me how I am in months, and just knowing somebody cares is all I needed to hear, and so this is the way I explain it to people is physical health and mental health are so different, and here's how If I break my arm, I have to go to a medical professional to touch me, to fix me, to cast me, to set the phone, whatever right. 

29:28
I have to see someone, because that's how physical health works, but mental health doesn't work that way. Mental health can work that way where you want to sit in an office and talk to somebody, or you want to get EMDR, or you want to do red light or you want to do other things, but what it can also be is a safety net of knowing that it's available to me. Knowing somebody's there to fix my broken arm isn't going to help me. 

29:52
Knowing somebody's there if I need it is sometimes all the mental health support moms need, and so just giving them that has been some some of these moms have said that's been life changing for me to just know that you're there and then get those emails that I'm like, oh, I didn't know that, oh, that's interesting. That's been a huge part of our program too is just being the safety net. 

30:14 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Right and also just not knowing that I need that you know, I didn't know that I was going to need help with sleep or with breastfeeding or if breastfeeding is not working. Like help me get through those feelings of now I have to get my kid formula. Like knowing other moms have gone through that. 

30:30 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
Oh my gosh, we talk about that a lot. We talk about breastfeeding and sleep, or probably the two, not just breastfeeding. I would say feeding and sleep are the two biggest. And then the third one is what do you have for husbands, cause they're driving me crazy. 

30:42 - Katie Fenske (Host)
I think that's a big topic too is talking about your marriage, cause I again was not prepared for, like Whoa, this baby's going to rock our marriage, and our relationship and things and just my own life, Like now. My life is different and I wasn't. 

30:57 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
I knew I was going to have a baby and things are going, you know. 

31:01 - Katie Fenske (Host)
But then when it totally changes and you're like, wait, I can't just go out to dinner tonight, like we can't just run to the grocery store I have to, your life is altered and to be able to tell someone. I'm feeling really weird about the fact that my life is different now. 

31:15 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
Yep, Yep, and that and that make yourself feel like a terrible mom, because you can love something so much it hurts and also be frustrated by it at the same time. That is normal. Right, and so that's something we talk about a lot is that the roles and the house change. You cannot do everything, so you have got to say these are the hundred things I do in a week, Pick 10 of them, because you're going to take that on, Cause I just can't. 

31:43
And whether it means you know keeping track of the groceries or whatever it happens to be changing the sheet, whatever, but it doesn't have to always be all mom right, you have to have a partner who does parts and pieces. And here's the thing they don't know that. No, they they don't understand. So you have to communicate it. If you don't communicate it and put a list and physically put a list somewhere, they won't know that it needs to be done because you've always done it. So they didn't know you did it right. They didn't know you changed the sheets every two weeks or however often you do because it just happens just magically happens, right, they don't think about that. 

32:22
Yeah, exactly, these are the things that if you want to pick from this list that I could take off my list, that would be amazing. Most I hope husbands would be like okay, I mean, does he want to do it? Of course not. Do you want to? No, you don't either. But if it's going to help the marriage, it's going to help the household. I'm telling you that most of them would would love that, and I think that's one of the biggest reasons we have so many divorces and separations and things going on in families is there's a lack of communication there. There's a lack of I need help. But if you just say the words to your husband I need help, that is not good enough. 

32:55 - Katie Fenske (Host)
And they have no idea what that means. Nope, they can't read our minds, cause so many times I feel like two moms we like suffer in silence. We're just like I'm doing it all instead of just saying hey, you know, it'd be really helpful if you got up 10 minutes earlier and help me get the kids ready, or something and like I'm the same way my husband. He a hundred percent would be like sure I'll help you, but when I don't ask him or tell him he's like he has no idea, he doesn't know he can they don't think like we think they don't. 

33:19 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
And it's not a, it's not a slam, it's not a negative. Men can, and I actually it's funny because my master's degree is an adult education and development, and for my master's, for my 18 month program, they said pick a topic that you want to learn everything there is to know about, because you're going to do every your thesis, everything on it. My topic was a difference between the male and the female brain. So I actually give this presentation. I give the presentation to a lot of different places. One of them is the John Elway dealership here in Denver. Like I've done it to all the chambers of commerce. Like it's kind of life-changing when you understand the physiology behind it. 

33:51
The biggest revelation is the corpus callosum is the bridge in the middle of your brain that allows your left and right hemispheres to talk to each other. It's literally a bridge. A male's corpus callosum is a third the size of a female and what that means is they are physiologically improbable to be able to multi-task. They can be taught, they can be trained Anybody can be trained to do anything but it doesn't come naturally to them. So when we're like doing 12 things and they're doing one, that's because what they can do, their master power is laser focusing on one thing at a time. I wish I could. I wish I could laser focus on one thing at a time. That's not how our brains work, right, but we expect we are all. 

34:34
As humans, we are pretty egocentric. We think that people think the way we think, they see the way we see, the way we hear they sure don't, and especially men they don't. And so sometimes we have to say, hey, I know you probably didn't notice this, and I don't mean that as a slam, because it's just not in your, your realm but did you notice that? You know the bathtub could get, could use a cleaning, and I just don't have it. I can't bend over, I can't do. Could you maybe do that for me? 

34:59 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Like, could you help me? Right, right, there's a way to do it without being naggy, right? Hey, I just need a little help. Could you do that? My husband and I now we have this like code word where it's we've learned now if something's kind of like bugging us about the other one, we say, hey, can I talk to you about something? And for me it's like the dishes in the sink for him, you know he's very neat and tidy. So he's like hey, you know those clothes that have been sitting out for a week or two. He's like could we maybe put those away? 

35:27
But it's always like can I talk to you about something is kind of code word for him. I'm going to tell you something that's kind of bugging me, but I don't want to come across as like naggy so we learned to say it that. Yep. Love that Okay. How do you afford all of this? Because it's parent moms don't have to pay for this. 

35:46 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
Like any other organization. 

35:47 - Katie Fenske (Host)
This would cost a fortune. So how do you? How is this? 

35:52 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
affordable. The first year was at no cost to the hospitals because we got a suicide prevention grant through our county. Wow, so it's funny, I just came. The reason I was almost late was I was just being awarded from the county commissioners into their county hall of fame. Congratulations, thank you. So I will say we've been very, very wrapped in love by douglas, our county. Douglas county, um. Our commissioners put together a suicide prevention grant and we were awarded money from that for 2023 and 2024, so I could walk into these three hospitals and say no cost to you, here we go, but 2025 is on your dime. And so then I went back to the commissioners and I asked for more money. They gave me half of what I asked for, but they gave me some more money and they and so what I did was I split that amongst the three hospitals, so the hospital's costs for 2025 came down exponentially as well. So I will say our program, our entire program to give a mom a full year of wraparound supports costs 60 bucks 60 bucks a month. 

36:59
60 bucks total for an entire year of wraparound support. 

37:04
That's what the hospitals and the grant are paying for. So right now we are grant funded, we are looking for hospitals to, and it can come from their foundation, it can come from fundraising, it can come from a gala. I don't care where the money comes from. All I know is that this program is making generational mental health change by giving the people what they deserve and giving moms and families what they deserve. And so when you give moms that, it changes the entire. I mean, there's a saying that says when mama ain't happy, nobody's happy right. 

37:37
So that's how we're funding it right now. We are looking to diversify our funding sources. We are looking for other ways to fund this, whether it's corporate sponsorships, whether it's giving, whatever it happens to be. We are trying to expand our because what I'd love to say to a hospital is hey, the cost of this is 60 bucks a month. You have an average of 100 births a month, so that's 1,200 births a year. Because of this funding source and this funding source, we brought it down to 30 bucks a mom and that's all you have to pay. That's what I want to be able to do. 

38:09
So we are constantly looking for grants, we are constantly grant writing and looking for corporate sponsorships, and you know legacy giving and all of the different ways that we can fund this. So that is not all on the hospitals. We are also looking to figure out how we can become a billable service through the hospital. So peer support through Medicaid is finally being addressed as a billable source Available. Yeah and so, but we can't do it because I don't hold a medical license, so I can't be but the hospital can so much you're learning and then keep on. 

38:45
you know it's so funny. This is not in your teacher's degree. This is so none of this. And let me tell you, I thought government had a lot of red tape. Hospital systems, holy moly. The tape is thick and every hospital is different in how they do things, every system. So, for instance, we're with Advent Health. Advent Health runs by the Adventist religious calendar. Therefore, you cannot have an event from Friday sundown to Sunday sunup, because that's their Sabbath. 

39:12 - Katie Fenske (Host)
I didn't know that Then you go to Common Spirit. 

39:16 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
They're Catholic, can't do anything on Sundays because that's their Sabbath. I'm like, oh, and then we're at UC Health, highlands, or UC Health, which is the University of Colorado, which is a school, so it's a teaching college, so they have their own rules and regulations. I'm telling you, I had no idea, and so I'm learning as I go, of how to man, and then some are non-profit, some are for profit. That's a whole nother ball game. So it's been a very big learning curve. 

39:42 - Katie Fenske (Host)
For me, yeah, adventure is a good word. Adding another hospital, that's a big undertaking, then, because I could see, like, why can't we have this nationwide? 

39:51 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
because you're right now just in one county in one state. 

39:55 - Katie Fenske (Host)
How do we make this like grow so? 

39:57 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
honestly, the only way it becomes nationwide is if the government gets involved and mandates it, and that's because of HIPAA, and every state has their own HIPAA. Yes, we have national HIPAA, but then we have other HIPAA. There's a lot there's, and then every hospital system is different. Yada, yada, yada, yada yada. So nationwide would be amazing. I don't think it's. It's doable, to be totally honest with you. 

40:19
But statewide. Here in Colorado I think is doable. There are 25 major birthing hospitals from North of Denver to South of Denver and we want to be in all 25. We got three down, 22 to go and we do believe it. 

40:34 - Katie Fenske (Host)
That's our goal right now. 

40:36 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
Yep, oh my gosh. 

40:37 - Katie Fenske (Host)
And Colorado. 

40:38 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
Springs. They're adding Colorado Springs onto my, to my, my, uh, my, my map, so possibly down Colorado Springs as well. So you know, we've had some amazing conversations with some fabulous um hospital system. It's there's just a lot of hoops to jump and you got to get through contracts, you got to get through all the stuff, you got to get through badging. That's another thing. If you badged in every hospital. 

41:07 - Katie Fenske (Host)
They all do it differently. There's just a lot, it's a lot but, but I, but I'll, I'll fight the fight until we get every mom that supports. It's just so amazing that, despite everything you have to go through, you're taking this on. You know cause a lot of people would be like this is just too much. I give up, you know, but you know I will. 

41:18 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
I'm not going to lie. Five and a half years I went without a paycheck, so I paid into this for five and a half years and everybody I talked to who started a nonprofit said five years. It takes five years to get funded. And I was like you don't know me, yeah, it was exactly five and a half years. They were right, and that's when we got our first big grant and our first big donation. And so that was when and I you know my husband has been my number one champion from the beginning of this and he said go, do good, it's all right, you're not pulling a paycheck, we'll figure it out. 

41:48
And then, you know, he was like well, you were a teacher, you barely made anything then either. So now you're really not making anything, right? So it's been, it's been. But there have been many times all along that road that I'd be like, okay, we just got to get to this point. And if we don't get to that point, we don't get that done, then I'm just gonna have to walk away. And then we get that done. And then the next okay, here we go, we're gonna try it. You know. 

42:11 - Katie Fenske (Host)
So it was meant to be. Gosh, I was just telling my husband yesterday I just got like a letter about taxes and stuff and I was like I think I just want to quit, like trying to start this podcast Cause I love teaching. And now I'm trying to do this potty training thing and like I just need to give up. He's like don't give up yet. I'm like, okay, just keep going one more day. And then you get that email that you're like, okay, that's right, don't give up. 

42:32 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
Or mom sends you like this was so helpful, thank you. You're like don't give up. Moms, need you? Okay, deserve it. Question about the name. Where did the name yana come from? I, I created it. Um, you are not alone. Um, so it stands for you are not alone. And then I tried to get the company name, like actually put it in as yana, and there were so many yanas believe it or not, yes, so many that I couldn't use it, and so our actual business name is Yana M2M, which stands for you are not alone. Mom to mom Love that, oh my gosh, but we do mostly everything's Yana. 

43:07 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Right, oh my gosh, that's amazing. Okay, so you're expanding to other hospitals. It's growing, okay. Another question I had thinking of this so when you were inspired to start this, it was because of moms who had older kids. So right now you're working with moms with babies, one and under. Basically, do you ever have options? Because when you first started, you just said all moms come. Any options for moms who have kids that are older? 

43:41 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
you for asking that. So, yana, as a non-profit, we have three pillars of support, is what we call them. The first one is obviously the hospital program, which is our biggest one. Strong mamas, thriving babies that's our biggest program. But we also have a podcast where we interview mamas about their mama journey. Right, because we know the more moms tell their story, the less alone they are, and the more that you know mamas hear each other's stories, the less alone they are. So we do have the podcast and we've been doing that. We're going on almost year four. And then the last program. We kept that very first beginning program where we had support moms. 

44:09
We kept that and because we got a lot of feedback that moms really liked that. So we still match moms with a support mom. That program we're switching it over to an app here soon. I'm one I'm running out of hours in the day. Number one, but number two I. We want the moms to be able to pick their own support mom. So they will go on to the app and they will pick a support mom that fits what they, what they're looking for. So that's been a really cool program that we're going to get started. 

44:40
We, when we're we've been doing the support mom program all eight years. We've never gotten rid of it. Um, and that's been a really cool program that we're going to get started. We've been doing the Support Mom program all eight years. We've never gotten rid of it, and that's been amazing. And that can be done virtually right. Support Moms don't have to be in person, it can be done virtually. So if anybody wants to be a Support Mom, we absolutely need Support Moms. 

45:06
If anybody wants to volunteer to make those phone calls through the Strong Mamas program, where we call mamas up and check in on them, we have a full. You can do that anywhere in the world. We have a full online training that you go through. We give you a phone number, so it's not coming from your phone number, it's coming from ours. We give you all of the training for it. We give you a script, we give you everything you need. The only thing we ask in return is that you say that you will do three hours or more a month, and only because there is some cost to us getting you your own line for the training, all that kind of stuff. So we are investing in you to be a volunteer for us. So we just need three hours a month, and it doesn't have to be three consecutive hours. It can be 20 minutes here, a half an hour here, an hour here, whatever works. 

45:45
And, like I said a lot of times, you just get voicemails and so you leave a message and then you move on to the next one. We have a system where you keep track. We give you a list and we just let you start making calls, and so that's a way that people can get involved as well. So it's interesting because the Support Mom program truly is supportive for both sides, right? I have mamas who come back to me and say, oh my gosh, I've been an empty nester and I signed up to be a support mom and somebody cares what I have to say again and it has been so rewarding to give back to this other mom and just help, and we've had moms who have celebrated Christmas together because they've gotten so close. We have support moms who babysit for other moms because they live in the same area, but then it's just also just having that safety net of somebody that you can turn to when you're having a hard time, and so that support mom program is open to anyone who wants to be a support mom as well. 

46:37 - Katie Fenske (Host)
I love that. Okay, if we want to find all this information, where do we look? 

46:48 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
You go to yanamomcom. Our website is Y-A-N-A-M-O-Mcom. There's a get involved tab. You can go there and see all the different ways that you can get involved. Our podcast is there as well. You can learn all about our. There's a video on the very front page of me doing a presentation and it's the whole. It's a 10 minute video. It's a long one, but it's the whole story and I was presenting at an event. So there's there's lots of opportunities on that website to find what you're looking for. You can volunteer to help. You can volunteer. If you're looking for a support mom, you can sign up for one. So, yeah, that's that's where you can find us, yana momcom. 

47:18 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Love it. Well, thank you for not only being on this podcast, but for everything you're doing, for not giving up and for supporting moms. 

47:27 - Nikki Brooker (Guest)
Thank you, katie, I really appreciate that. 

47:30 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Special thanks to Nikki for all she's doing and for coming on this podcast and sharing her story. If you want to get involved or learn more about her organization, make sure to take a look at the link in the show notes. To get involved with such an incredible place. All right, and until next week's conversation, I want to remind all of you, moms, that everyone burns their first pancake, so just keep flipping. Thank you.