154. The Working Mom Happiness Method with Katy Blommer

Have you ever felt like you're doing everything for everyone else but still wondering if it's enough?

In today's episode, I down with Katy Blommer, founder of Women's Best Life University, corporate vice president, author, and host of The Working Mom Happiness Method podcast.

After spending 25 years building a successful career while raising a family, Katy has learned firsthand how easy it is for moms to become overwhelmed, burned out, and disconnected from themselves. She shares practical strategies for creating balance, building healthy habits, and finding happiness without sacrificing your goals or your family.

In This Episode We Discuss:

•  Why so many working moms struggle with guilt and burnout 
•  How women often tie their self-worth to self-sacrifice 
•  What it really means to put yourself first 
•  Building healthy habits that support confidence and energy 
•  Creating balance between career and family life 
•  Mindset shifts that help moms stop running on empty 
•  How to pursue career growth without guilt 
•  Why your value isn't determined by your productivity 

Connect with Katy

•  Her website: https://www.womensbestlifeuniversity.com/
• Her Book: https://amzn.to/43j8s3A 
•  Social media: @katyblommer

📺 Watch the episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOpw5ui4uxJHx0tLFVtpnfSkpObfc4d-K

You can find Katie at:
website: burntpancakes.com
YouTube: @burnt.pancakes
Instagram: @burntpancakeswithkatie
Email: katie@burntpancakes.com

🚽 Did you know Katie is also a Certified Potty Trainer? 🚽

☎️ Schedule a 1:1 chat today: Schedule Here
💻 Digital Potty Training Course HERE
📖  Potty Training E-Book HERE
🆓  FREE potty training resources HERE
Instagram: @itspottytime
Tiktok: @itspottytime_

Some episodes include affiliate links at no cost to you. 

Transcript

Katie, welcome to the podcast.

Katy Blommer

09:58:12

Thanks so much for having me. Also, Katie, I love that we're both Katies.

Katie Fenske

09:58:14

Yes, I was like, it's so fun running into a fellow Katie. Spelled differently, but still Katie. Katie from the '80s. Why don't you start by introducing yourself? Let us know how many kids you have, where you're from, and what you do.

Katy Blommer

09:58:17

Yes.

Yes.

Yeah, absolutely. So my name is Katie Blummer. I have two boys, ages 15 and 17. I live in a suburb of Salt Lake City, Utah. My passion that I discovered, I would say relatively later in life, is coaching working moms.

Katie Fenske

09:58:34

Oh.

Thank you.

Katy Blommer

09:58:45

I have a strong belief that sort of all moms work. And so when I say working moms, I mean anybody who, you know, has sort of your maybe traditional corporate type career or any other type of career, but also has a career within the home. I think all moms do work. So I feel strongly about that.

Um, I also do have a, a long tenured corporate career. I work for a large financial corporation and I've been there, uh, 24 years. This is actually my 25th year, but I got into burnout and took a year off. So my technical tenure is 24 years, but.

Katie Fenske

09:59:10

I don't know.

Katy Blommer

09:59:16

Um, obviously been doing that even longer than I've been a mom, so I've been more of that, like, traditional corporate career working mom for… for my entire, uh, kids' lives, essentially. So, yeah, that's a little bit about me.

Katie Fenske

09:59:27

That's so awesome. So much in that, I want to unpack. Number one, I'm gonna need advice on raising teens. I have a 12-year-old now, and I'm like, we're entering a new stage that I… I didn't think would be this hard.

Katy Blommer

09:59:39

I love it. I would love to go there. Yeah, all the things. Yeah.

Katie Fenske

09:59:41

Oh my gosh, I'm going to pick your brain later. Okay, I also love that you mentioned all moms are working moms, because sometimes it feels like we're pitted, like, are you a working mom or stay at home? Who has it harder? Which is better? And it's like, there are just so many.

Katy Blommer

09:59:43

Great, let's do it.

Yes.

Katie Fenske

09:59:58

like.

So much on that spectrum.

I just hate that debate. Like, which one's harder? Which one? Yeah.

Katy Blommer

10:00:04

I have very strong opinions. I'm with you. I hate that it gets pitted against each other, that it gets compared. I have very strong opinions that there are pros and cons on both sides. Both are hard for various reasons. I've done both, and I've coached many women on both sides of that, and.

Katie Fenske

10:00:16

Mm-hmm.

Love that.

Katy Blommer

10:00:24

uh, we… we just all work, the bottom line, so I… you and I agree on that fully, yeah.

Katie Fenske

10:00:25

Right.

Right. And I just think some people.

do better when they're working. Like, I know some moms who were on maternity leave, and they're like, I am so ready to go back. Like, I felt differently, but I recognize in them, like, everyone needs to choose what's right for them. And some people, it's not a choice. It's, I have to work.

Katy Blommer

10:00:37

Yeah.

That's right.

That…

Katie Fenske

10:00:46

Or there aren't opportunities for me. I have to stay home. Or we moved. Yeah.

Katy Blommer

10:00:47

That's absolutely right.

Right. That, that is absolutely right. Privilege plays into both sides of that and it can play into both sides of that. I was one of the moms, I had a three month paid maternity leave, which I consider to be lucky. We don't have very good maternity, you know, paid maternity leave in our country.

Katie Fenske

10:00:55

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Mmhm.

Katy Blommer

10:01:07

Um, but I was one of the moms who I was ready to go back. I had a very fortunate privilege situation though. Again, privilege can play into both sides where my mom had been, I had my first baby in 2009 after the big recession that happened in our country. And my mom had been laid off from her corporate job when I was like eight months pregnant. And so I was trying to decide what I would do with childcare because I knew I wanted to go back to work, but I was a little stressed about how I was going to do that. Like.

Katie Fenske

10:01:23

All right.

Katy Blommer

10:01:33

you know, most moms are who are thinking about going back to work, or have to go back to work. And I was lucky enough to be able to hire my mom as my nanny. It just worked out where she was at a point in her career where she was getting closer to retirement, and so that made it a lot easier for me to go back to work. But I was, after 3 months of being home with.

Katie Fenske

10:01:34

Yeah. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:01:53

both times, one baby the first, and then a toddler and a baby on the second, I absolutely considered it a relief to go back to work. And during that baby stage, I personally, for me, and it's different for everybody, thought going to an office was easier than stay at home. That's how I felt in that moment. So, yeah.

Katie Fenske

10:02:09

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's interesting. I also had mom and aunt who were very, very helpful with childcare. I don't know how parents do it when they don't have any family around because that was a lifesaver for me. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have them.

Katy Blommer

10:02:11

Mmhm.

Yeah.

Awesome.

Agreed.

Yes.

Katie Fenske

10:02:27

That's amazing.

Katy Blommer

10:02:27

Totally agree, and my microphone's just falling, I'm just gonna tighten it up a little bit. But yeah, I agreed.

Katie Fenske

10:02:28

Yep.

Go ahead and fix it. Do you ever… do you ever coach moms who are going back to work? Because I felt like that was…

such a difficult time for me, and the only thing that really got me through, um… I had a best friend who was working with me, we were both teaching, and she had a little guy 3 months before me, and so every morning we would call each other on the ride to work, like…

How was your night? Oh my god, I didn't sleep. Or, I forgot my pump parts, do you have an extra one? Like, are there coaches for, like, going back to work moms?

Katy Blommer

10:03:00

Yeah, I mean, I, that's not my specific focus, but I have had multiple women take my program while they were pregnant, actually, even so, even before they had had their first baby, um, while they were pregnant, take the, the, um.

Katie Fenske

10:03:07

Mmhm.

Katy Blommer

10:03:15

program that I do, it's called the Working Mom Happiness Method, and yeah, hugely helped them. And my coaching for a mom who's returning to work is not necessarily so much tactical about, here's how to find childcare, here's how to do the pumping. Those are all important, and I think there are coaches out there who specialize in that.

Katie Fenske

10:03:31

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:03:33

My coaching is more about how you find your value and worth as a woman, as a mother, uh, in a society that teaches us our value and worth are based on things that they're not actually based on. And so it's more like getting deep into the core of that, which can help give you the confidence that it's okay.

To leave your baby to go back to work, if that's what you have to do, or if that's what you want to do, and to kind of help chip away at that mom guilt, which is very real. So that's, that's more like how my program applies to moms who are going back to work. I would say less tactical and more deep about.

Katie Fenske

10:04:02

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Katy Blommer

10:04:11

confidence and working on mom guilt. Yeah.

Katie Fenske

10:04:11

Mm-hmm.

Oh my gosh, the Mom Guilt is huge. Did you go through that a lot, where you're like, I can give everything I have to my job, but then I'm failing at home, or I can give everything at home, but then I'm, like, skimping at work? Like, how did you deal with that?

Katy Blommer

10:04:15

Yeah.

Yeah.

Absolutely. Absolutely. I've had it in all the different levels you can imagine. And what's so fascinating about mom guilt is that it's in our subconscious. It's programmed into our subconscious. I want to tell you a little bit about my theory on why that it's programmed so deep. And then I'll tell you a little bit about how I dealt with it. Does that sound okay?

Katie Fenske

10:04:43

Okay.

Okay, yeah, that sounds great.

Katy Blommer

10:04:47

Yeah. So, um…

I have a theory that society teaches us about our value and worth in different ways, whether we are a man or a woman. And I fully realize that I'm stereotyping and that this won't be the case for all men or all women, but I think it's a generalization that most people will agree is true about our society.

And that if you're a man, our society teaches you from a very young age, little boy stage, that your value and worth as a human is really rooted in.

Like financially providing for your family, right? Getting a good job, being a provider for your family. And as a woman, it teaches, society teaches us that our value and our worth is really rooted in two things, how we look.

Katie Fenske

10:05:21

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:05:34

And number two, how we serve and take care of all of those around us as, as caregivers, whether or not you're a mother, as a caregiver to, to your family or those around you. Now, most importantly, both of those are BS, like, right? Our men's value and worth isn't entirely rooted in them getting a certain job and financially providing and.

Katie Fenske

10:05:37

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:05:55

Obviously with us, our value and worth has literally nothing to do with how we look like that one is just wild, but we know it's deep in society, but, but also, um, even if we can't serve those around us in a traditional societal way, we still have a lot of value and worth for our people who love and care about us in, in other ways. And so what happens and what I've learned through my own experience and through many, many women who I've coached is that when men go to work and I, and I mean, I'm talking about now a traditional kind of work away from the home office.

Katie Fenske

10:06:23

Thank you.

Katy Blommer

10:06:24

corporate, your own business, whatever it is. When men go, they, their subconscious brain tells them, good job. You're moving towards being a valuable and worthy person. When women go, our brain, our subconscious programs tell us you're moving away from what we think our value is in our subconscious programs.

you're moving away from spending all your time on how you look, you know, whether that's what you're eating, or how you're moving your body, or how your hair looks, or how you're, you know, whatever it is of all the looks things. When you work outside of the home, a full-time job, or inside, honestly, it doesn't even matter, it is harder to spend time on those things, right?

Katie Fenske

10:07:00

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:07:01

Um, and then also we're moving further away from the traditional ways that society says we should be taking care of those around us, whether it's people or our home or making beautiful meals or decorating or cleaning or whatever. And so when we go to work, we do feel more guilty than when men go to work in general. In general, I know there are some cases where that's probably different, but.

Katie Fenske

10:07:20

Yeah.

Katy Blommer

10:07:24

Um, and so I feel like that's why. You hear about mom guilt being a thing and not dad guilt. Like there's literally not a word. Nobody says the word dad guilt. Dads don't feel it as much. I know they do sometimes. Sometimes they do feel like they're missing out on a kid thing because they go to work, but.

Katie Fenske

10:07:30

Yes.

No.

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:07:40

And so I think that's why it feels so deep because those subconscious programs are deep. And what's interesting is even though I've had a lot of therapy to unravel those subconscious programs and I've taught it, we know that there's no better way to learn something than by teaching it to others, right? It really roots it deeply within you.

Katie Fenske

10:07:54

Mmhm.

Katy Blommer

10:07:57

I still have mom guilt come up. I still do. I've gotten a lot better and I don't let it stop me anymore. I think that's the key is we're going to feel it come up, but let's, let's value ourselves enough, which is hard to push through and do the thing anyway. And I literally had it come up last night.

Katie Fenske

10:07:59

Yep.

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:08:13

So my son Charlie is in a golf tournament today and I'm working. I, I have a full work day. This is my lunch hour where I'm here with you and I have multiple meetings today. And, uh, he has been playing in a golf tournament every day for like the last seven days. He's had various golf tournaments and I've gone to some of them and not because of meetings. And he asked me last night if I was gonna come to his tournament and I said, I'm sorry, I can't, I have too many meetings, which by the way, I think he was totally fine with. Like, I don't think that bothered him because my dad's taking him.

Katie Fenske

10:08:19

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Katy Blommer

10:08:41

He loves my dad. They'll have a great time. But immediately, my husband was sitting next to me in the bed when we were having this interaction. And when Charlie left, I immediately said, oh, I'm mom guilt. I was like, it's coming up. I feel it. I feel bad for missing his tournament tomorrow.

Katie Fenske

10:08:53

Yes.

Yes.

Katy Blommer

10:08:56

And I said, do you feel guilty? And my husband goes, I don't feel guilty at all. And I said, talk me through that. Get me there. Bring me along. How do you feel that way? And he goes, I go, what should I do? And he goes, let it go. And he starts singing the Frozen song immediately. And I said, OK, that's what I should do. Now tell me how to do it. Yeah, I said, tell me how. And this is funny because I literally coached this. And here I am asking my husband to coach me on it.

Katie Fenske

10:09:02

Yes.

Yes.

How to do that? Yes, how do I?

Katy Blommer

10:09:23

And he goes, be a dad, be a dad. Like he does it in the same tone as the let it go. And I was like, dang, I wish I was a dad. That's what I said to him. And he was joking, but he was serious. He, he genuinely, and he's a great father. Yeah. I mean, he really is like, he's just a great father in all the ways he.

Katie Fenske

10:09:26

Thank you.

Right.

Yes!

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:09:41

he could be, but he doesn't have that societal programming. And so, I was able to kind of use my tools to talk myself down a little bit, but all these years of working on this, and it's still there. Like, it still comes up. So, yeah. That was a lot of me talking, but you get it.

Katie Fenske

10:09:44

Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's the missing this… it's the missing school events. That's the part that I'm like… because I now have, like, a little part-time job where I work Wednesdays and Fridays, and I'm loving it.

Katy Blommer

10:09:57

Yeah.

Yeah.

Katie Fenske

10:10:05

But then I started realizing, like, oh my gosh, kinder graduation is on a Wednesday, but I already committed, I already told them, like, I'm good on Wednesday, so I'm gonna go for part of it, but miss some. But I'm like, I wonder if my husband feels that. Like, again, he's a great dad, he's wonderful, but.

Katy Blommer

10:10:09

Yes.

Yeah.

Katie Fenske

10:10:21

he had to work during open house, so I was like, do you want to try and make it? And he's like, it's all right, you're going to be there, it's fine. But, like, for me, I've been like, oh my god, I'm going to miss half of graduation, I feel so bad, oh my god.

Katy Blommer

10:10:28

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, it's real.

Katie Fenske

10:10:34

Um, but yeah, like, that feeling of, like, I am there for so much, but if I have to miss one event, they're gonna notice, or they're, like…

Katy Blommer

10:10:42

Yeah, no, it's so real. Let's talk about that for a minute because I think this is probably helpful for so many of us. So now I have older kids, right? 15 and 17. So they don't have the room mom stuff anymore or the field trips. But what I learned.

Katie Fenske

10:10:42

It's a lot.

Okay.

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:10:58

through my own experience, but also I worked with a therapist who, uh, has all the degrees in child psychology and worked for, like, 20 years with kids before he started, um, being a therapist for adults, and he helped me learn some of this stuff, too. And what he taught me, and what I've learned with my own experience with my kids now that they're older, is that.

Katie Fenske

10:11:09

Okay.

Katy Blommer

10:11:18

The kids don't really so much notice what you're… when you're not there, they notice when you are there.

Katie Fenske

10:11:24

Mmhm.

Katy Blommer

10:11:24

So if you're literally never there, they might notice that, because there's no opportunity for them to notice you being there.

Katie Fenske

10:11:30

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:11:31

But if you're there sometimes, and it can be pretty rarely, they will remember that. And I'll give you the perfect example. I had this really big, busy corporate job that I have now, back when my kids were in elementary school, and all these things were happening that you're talking about.

Katie Fenske

10:11:38

One moment.

Okay.

Yeah. Okay.

Katy Blommer

10:11:46

And so I would make sure to get really good at knowing the schedule ahead of time and picking the one or two things that I knew I could block ahead of time and take work off and, and go do. And they, it would be, I would do the Halloween mom, like I would be like the room mom for Halloween and I would just stop at the grocery store, take a little time off work, get the dry ice, and I would make the easiest dry ice punch. And my boys both remember me as like the dry ice punch Halloween mom, right? So they don't have a memory of me not being there.

Katie Fenske

10:11:55

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Oh, no.

Yeah.

Katy Blommer

10:12:15

They have a memory of I was the room mom for the Halloween for the dry ice, and it was just an easy thing I could do. I didn't have to cook something elaborate. I literally could just pick that up, dump some of the soda in it, and it made this really cool experience. And so if you can pick and choose and plan ahead on a couple of things throughout their elementary school experience.

Katie Fenske

10:12:20

Yep.

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:12:35

I know, I now know, I'm now living the future where I know that's how they viewed me because we've had those, those conversations about it, right? Yeah, or sporting events, you know, their games, uh, whatever your kids are doing, music, performances, things like that. If you can get to a couple of them.

Katie Fenske

10:12:41

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Katy Blommer

10:12:51

That's what makes all the difference for sure.

Katie Fenske

10:12:53

So quality over quantity. Oh, that makes me feel better because I do feel like in the younger years, you get like, oh, we're doing this.

Katy Blommer

10:12:55

Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Katie Fenske

10:13:02

senders, and we're doing this, and you're doing… and there's so many different things, and there's a lot, a lot to volunteer for, and I'm not always free for those.

Katy Blommer

10:13:05

Constant. Yeah.

Well, and it's…

And it's unfortunately still archaically all designed around families that only have one parent working. It's all in the middle of the workday, right? Like, and we know that's not what our society can sustain anymore with how expensive things are. And so it's just, it's a little, it's, it's hard. It needs to come along.

Katie Fenske

10:13:16

Mm-hmm.

Right.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, they had awards assemblies last week and my kindergartner was getting one on Thursday and then my second grader was getting one on Friday. I'm like, could we not combine these? Like now we have to figure out who's almost going to go to the Friday one. I can go to this one. Yeah.

Katy Blommer

10:13:27

They need we need to do better.

Exactly, yeah, exactly that. It is, it's, it is, it's tricky, but yeah, I think that's a good hack where you can kind of, you know, you can do a little bit, but it doesn't feel super overwhelming either, and you can still keep to your, you know, your work commitment.

Katie Fenske

10:13:44

Well, yeah.

Pick and choose.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Or, like, my kids have asked, like, oh, are you coming on the field trip? And a lot of times, it's, I didn't get picked, because there's enough people volunteering. But then it's also, like, oh, buddy, I really wish I could, but I have a meeting that day. But I would have loved to have been there.

Katy Blommer

10:14:03

Good.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Katie Fenske

10:14:11

Love to be there. But it…

Katy Blommer

10:14:12

That's it, and that's what I told my son about the golf tournament last night, exactly that, yeah. Yeah, I love that.

Katie Fenske

10:14:14

Mm-hmm. I would love to be there, but I have other things. And, too, as they get older, like, my sixth grader this year, so I volunteered, there's three days where you have to go in and teach an art lesson, so throughout the whole year, I was like, I can do those three days. Um, but I even asked him ahead of time, I'm like, do you want me to do that this year?

And surprisingly, he's like, yeah, I guess. I thought he'd be like, no, mom, don't come into my classroom. So those were like the three times I was in. I didn't get to go to the Christmas party. I didn't go on any of his field trips, but I did his little art lesson. So going off to junior high, I don't think he'll see me anymore in class.

Katy Blommer

10:14:36

Q.

Right. I love that.

Sure.

Katie Fenske

10:14:49

They'll have volunteers in junior high. Um, question for all these working moms, how do you do summers? Because, like, I'm fortunate, like, I taught for 17 years, so I always had summers off.

Katy Blommer

10:14:52

Yeah.

Amazing.

Katie Fenske

10:15:01

And now, like, my job is a lot more flexible, I do the podcasting, I get to pick my schedule. What do you do in the summertime? Like, I… my kids are out this week, and I'm thinking of all these working moms, and I'm like…

This sounds like eight weeks of panic. Like, what do I do with my kids for eight weeks? What was your solution?

Katy Blommer

10:15:16

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, and I think, you know, there's not one sort of easy blanket solution, obviously. The first thing that comes up for me is it's so frustrating that it's on the moms to figure it out, right? Like, part of me wants to be like, tell her dad to figure it out. I mean, I don't mean that in as snarky as a way as I'm saying it, but…

Katie Fenske

10:15:30

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

It just automatically falls off.

Katy Blommer

10:15:38

Genuinely, yeah, like, like genuinely, you know, can we have a conversation with our spouse about how we're gonna figure it out together and what that's going to, to look like? Uh, my husband and I, we went through a whole thing where.

and I talk about this in my book and on my podcast, so I share it very openly, but he grew up with, um, a stay at home mom who did all the traditional mom things and a dad who worked, so they had a very sort of, like, what our society calls a traditional… I don't even like calling it that, to be honest, because traditional changes, but…

Katie Fenske

10:16:05

Mmhm.

Katy Blommer

10:16:11

Um, a historically traditional setup. And so when we first got married, uh, it was a real struggle because it wasn't that he thought the woman should do certain things and the man should do certain things. He, he didn't have that, that conscious belief.

But he had that subconscious programming. And so it wasn't that he didn't think he should be doing certain things. It was that he, his, he didn't think of that. He didn't think to do them because he never saw his father sort of doing them. And so we got to the point where it got, you know, so I was doing so much and carrying so much of the workload that.

Katie Fenske

10:16:28

Uh…

It's all.

Katy Blommer

10:16:46

And I know this is like a really dropping a bomb and a long story short, but I ended up leaving, leaving him. Like I ended up actually ending our marriage. And it was, um, what a lot of women consider so controversial and bold because he is a good person, right? He, he is like, he, he.

He's a good person, responsible with his job, great dad. He just didn't know how to be an equal partner. And that ended up getting to the point where it ruined our marriage. And in an unexpected turn of events, when that happened, he actually ended up being willing to change, which was not what I thought was going to happen.

And to make a long story short, we did a bunch of marriage therapy, and he did a lot of work on himself, as did I, and now he truly, truly is truly an equal partner in all the ways, which has been amazing, and I know it doesn't always work out that way, I know, um…

Katie Fenske

10:17:30

Thank you.

Katy Blommer

10:17:35

that's not a… that's a unique situation, but uh… what we do now, I mean, especially because we have one teenager who cannot drive, it's nice that one can get himself to places now, and that is a game changer. Part of why I love the teenage years, like, everybody scares you for the teenage years, and.

Katie Fenske

10:17:43

I'm hearing.

Yeah. Cool.

Katy Blommer

10:17:50

I think it's very kid-dependent, but, like, it is so… I think it's so much easier. I really do. I think it's so much easier, but we still have one who can't drive himself, and his brother drives him sometimes, which is helpful, uh, but he can't always drive him either, and so we… we do have to split up the golf tournaments and all the sporting events that are going on, and so.

Katie Fenske

10:17:54

Freedom. Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:18:09

Uh, we do, we sit down at the weekend and plan out the week and see who has the harder work schedule, who has the more critical meeting, right? Who, who has what going on and how can we take some time up and, and divvy those out. Um.

So I think a big thing that comes to my mind is stand up for yourself if you have a partner who can also support, right, and make sure that you're not having to take all of that on if you're not set up to do that. That's like my number one kind of most important thing is try not to.

um, put it all on yourself. And then after that, it becomes, uh.

Katie Fenske

10:18:43

Mmhm.

Katy Blommer

10:18:47

Uh, what, what options do you have? I mean, it's easier for those of us like you and I who have family nearby, like we have family support that you were talking about, you know, how can you use that? Um, you know, I know that that daycare becomes a controversial and scary option for.

For many folks, uh, I also think daycare can be amazing, right? Like it, again, pros and cons on all sides. I personally, um, you know, my brothers and I grew up doing a lot of daycare. Uh, that turned out to be a good thing for us for socialization and, you know, learning and things like that. Uh, summer camps, I know they're expensive, so I know that's a privilege. Like I, I fully recognize that.

Katie Fenske

10:19:09

Mm-hmm. Yep.

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:19:25

But, uh, summer camps that kids love, if you can afford those, uh, and if you can get them to and from, um, you know, it's having a job that allows the flexibility to do those things. I know not everybody does. So is that, you know, do, do you need to start looking for something else as far as your job that can allow you to do those things? We need to be.

Katie Fenske

10:19:31

Mmhm.

Katy Blommer

10:19:47

valuing ourselves enough to make a change if it doesn't work, which I know that's easier said than done, but anyway, hopefully some of those things are helpful. Those are the things that come to my mind.

Katie Fenske

10:19:48

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, speaking of jobs, what are some things employees or employers can do to make working moms feel more supported?

Katy Blommer

10:20:04

Yeah, I love this one. I lead a large team over 50 people global team at my company. And one of the most important things for me is doing it myself as the leader. So employers can can show their employees that it is a safe space to do family activities and take time off of work when you need to by doing it themselves. I think that is.

Katie Fenske

10:20:06

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:20:28

The number one most important thing, because if you're not demonstrating those same boundaries, you're going to make your employees feel fearful to do it themselves. You're going to make them feel like, oh, it's just all talk. And so as an employer, whether or not you're a parent doesn't matter. You can still show that you're taking time off and you're taking care of yourselves. And so.

Katie Fenske

10:20:38

No.

Katy Blommer

10:20:51

Um, some of the things that I do are, when I go to my kids' events, I will share it on our team Slack. I'll send a picture, or I'll say, hey, I'm going to do this with, you know, I'm gonna watch my son play lacrosse, and that's why I'm leaving early. I'm very verbal and vocal about sharing what I'm gonna go do in those moments where I…

Katie Fenske

10:20:58

Love that.

Katy Blommer

10:21:09

take time off or I leave early, I'll make it a point to sort of say it. Also, not even related to parenting or children, sometimes because my job is so busy, I catch up on work over the weekends. And that's been my own version of balance that I've defined for myself. Doesn't work for everybody else, but it works for me, especially with teenagers because they sleep in.

Katie Fenske

10:21:25

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:21:30

So I can get up in the morning and catch up on work and I'm not missing time with my kids, which is great. But when I'm, yeah, exactly. Another plus, there are a lot of pluses about teenagers. So then when I'm sending emails on the weekend, I put a delayed delivery. So they actually don't go out until Monday. So I think a lot of it is like demonstrating now that is kind of individual leaders from an overall company perspective.

Katie Fenske

10:21:34

Another plus, right?

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:21:53

any child care support you can do. Like, my company has… they have, like, a backup emergency child support, so if your child support can't take care that day or call in sick, they have, like, vetted people who can come help you out, right? Or places… and my company's big, and so I trust that they've vetted those, right? So.

Katie Fenske

10:22:02

That is incredible.

Wow.

Yeah, yeah.

Katy Blommer

10:22:11

that's a really cool benefit. Obviously, paid parental leave. My company…

Katie Fenske

10:22:15

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:22:17

it's hard for me to not be bitter that I didn't get this, because my kids are older, but in the last 10 years or so, has implemented 6 months paid maternity leave and 5 months paid paternity leave for dads. I know, for dads or same-gender partners, like, just the partner who didn't birth the baby, basically. It's incredible, and so…

Katie Fenske

10:22:19

Hahaha.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah. Okay.

That's incredible.

Katy Blommer

10:22:36

I think obviously that we're a ways away from that, unfortunately, I think in the US right now. But there are big things that can help a ton as well. Yeah.

Katie Fenske

10:22:38

Mm-hmm.

Oh, I love the, like, practice what you preach. Like, if you're going to say because I do think so my experience versus my husband's, he works for a company where, like, one day he's like, it's Monday. I'm just not feeling it. I need to take a day off. So he's like, I just I decided to take a personal day today.

Katy Blommer

10:22:46

Yes.

Yeah.

Katie Fenske

10:23:00

And it's cool. Like it's no problem. When I was teaching, I remember like having to go to a wedding out of town and call, like pretending to call in sick. Cause I was so worried that they'd be like, what? You're taking a day off. And I had all those days. Those were all my days, but I felt like I had a lie about being like sick.

Katy Blommer

10:23:01

Yeah.

Yeah.

Katie Fenske

10:23:18

So that I could go and do something that I had planned on doing. Or I love that his company is like, he's going to take two weeks off as my, my son has a, um, baseball tournament coming up in New York. And I'm like, are they okay with it? He's like, yeah, they're going to, they're going to be okay with it. Like, I'll get everything ready, but he's like, they have, those are my days.

Katy Blommer

10:23:31

Yeah.

Katie Fenske

10:23:36

And I'm like, I love that. Love that.

Katy Blommer

10:23:36

Yeah.

Yeah. Do you think when you were teaching.

Do you think it was a situation where it actually would have hurt your career because they frown upon it, or do you think it was a valuing yourself? Yeah, I didn't want to, like, make that assumption, but I just know for me, it was that before I got into burnout and before I learned to value myself truly… well.

Katie Fenske

10:23:48

Mm-hmm. It probably was.

I think it was.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Katy Blommer

10:23:57

Let me just state it in a way that I think is important. Value myself and act like it. Because I think most of us, especially those of us who are, you know, achieving, you know.

Katie Fenske

10:24:03

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:24:11

high-performing women, um, we do have value for ourselves. It's not like we have terrible self-esteem, or some of us do, and there's no judgment. I mean, I certainly did at one point. But I think we value ourselves, so it's not just valuing yourself, it's valuing yourself enough to act like it most of the time.

Katie Fenske

10:24:15

Yeah.

Oh, mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:24:29

And that's what I really had to learn, especially with work, because the old me at work, I would have done the same thing you did. I would have been like, oh no, I can't do that on short notice. They'll, you know, they'll… it's almost like a people-pleasing thing, in a way. And then when I really went through my therapy and learned how to truly value myself enough to.

Katie Fenske

10:24:37

Can't take that.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Katy Blommer

10:24:49

Act like it. Uh, now I'm more like your husband where I will, I know that is part of what I can do. And I'm kind of almost to the point where I'm like, if that hurts my career, so be it. Like I have the skills and I know I have the skills that I could get a different job kind of a thing, right? Like coming at it almost from the opposite. Yeah. But it's.

Katie Fenske

10:25:00

Right.

Right.

Yeah.

Katy Blommer

10:25:06

That's easier said than done when society teaches us what it does as women, right? Yeah.

Katie Fenske

10:25:07

It is.

It got to a point. So I was able to take part of my maternity leave.

at the end of the school year, and I… that meant that I still had a little bit of time left, but I had all of summer break, so…

Katy Blommer

10:25:23

Yeah.

Katie Fenske

10:25:24

I went back to work in September. It was just a really hard year. Becoming a first-time mom was just hard for me. I just… it… I…

Katy Blommer

10:25:29

So hard. Same.

Katie Fenske

10:25:31

couldn't figure anything out, and now you're working full-time. I had a 45-minute commute with a baby. It was just a lot that first year, and it got to the point in, like, February, I just… I was in my principal's office, and she was asking, how are you doing? And I just, like, had a meltdown, and I started crying, and.

Katy Blommer

10:25:31

Same.

It's a lot.

Lost it. Yeah.

Katie Fenske

10:25:47

I don't cry at work, I'm not… but I just was like, this is just really hard, like, and I did not see that coming, but what saved me was I still had a month of maternity leave, and I felt so guilty about this, like, I can't leave my students, I can't do this, but I'm like.

Katy Blommer

10:25:54

Yeah.

Katie Fenske

10:26:02

I'm allowed to use this extra four weeks. So I took one month off in the middle of the school year, and I was so scared to tell my principal, but she, HR was like, you're allowed to do it. And here's what we're, here's how you do it. Um, and that's it. That got me through the rest of the school year because it was.

Katy Blommer

10:26:05

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Amazing.

Katie Fenske

10:26:18

It was a lot. So you talked about you took a year off for burnout. What was that like for you?

Katy Blommer

10:26:22

Yeah.

Yeah, life-changing, literally life-changing. And what's interesting is that me becoming a mom, me having my first baby, started all of that. It started me on my journey.

Katie Fenske

10:26:25

Okay.

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:26:37

To sort of value myself enough. And it was years later that I took the time off, um, to walk away from this big job where I was making more money than I ever thought I would make. Like I didn't, I came from a family who, you know, I was like.

Katie Fenske

10:26:47

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:26:53

My parents didn't graduate college with like a four year degree. Like I, I didn't have that sort of high of expectations for myself. I knew I wanted a career, but I, I never thought that I would get to like the level that I've been able to get to my corporate career. And so I had been there for 19 years when I walked away.

Katie Fenske

10:26:56

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:27:10

Um, but leading up to that was that I had my first baby.

And same as you, my first year of my first child was the hardest year of my life, I think. And we still have a lot of life left to live, so who knows? But today, like, absolutely.

Katie Fenske

10:27:23

I will say that too.

No. Yes, I would say that as well.

Katy Blommer

10:27:29

the hardest year. I grew up in a very, like, um, religious pro-baby society, where everyone was, like, have the babies, they're amazing, only, like, almost like toxic positivity, right? Where nobody was talking about.

Katie Fenske

10:27:42

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

It's actually really hard and you feel like you've lost yourself. Yes.

Katy Blommer

10:27:46

The hard things and the really hard things.

Exactly. That's it. And, and all my friends had kids before me and none of them were being real about how hard it was. And it's, it's wild because when I opened up to them later, they all were real. Oh yeah, yeah. I had that. I had, you know, but they don't, nobody.

Katie Fenske

10:27:57

Wow.

Mmhm.

Katy Blommer

10:28:06

I think now more people do talk about it, but back when I had my babies and the circle that I was in, nobody was actually talking about it. So I thought there was something wrong with me. I really did. And then the other thing that I had going on was I had a terrible body image.

Katie Fenske

10:28:08

Yeah.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:28:21

All growing up, all up to the point where I got pregnant, I gained 60 pounds during my pregnancy, and then I got in the most unhealthy way, obsessed with trying to lose that weight, right? Like after I had gained it because of, you know, societal pressures, we all know.

Katie Fenske

10:28:36

Right.

Katy Blommer

10:28:37

Uh, which is terrible, but… but it was very true for me, to the point where when my son was about 8, 9 months old, I now look back and know I had postpartum depression. At the time, I just knew that I felt like a zombie, and I had lost myself, and so my doctor, she was great, and she said, you can do… you can take medication, and you can do therapy.

Katie Fenske

10:28:40

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:28:56

Either one and I said I would like to try therapy. I've never done that before and so I found a a therapist and I started therapy and she helped me realize that my body image was like the outer layer of this onion that I had where um.

I was so obsessed with it and I was functioning in the other areas of my life, but it was almost like blocking actually knowing who I was and what I wanted and really living a meaningful life. I was kind of going through the motions and on paper my life looked good, but I was kind of going through the motions.

Katie Fenske

10:29:26

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:29:29

And so unraveling that led me on this amazing and very difficult, very hard journey of learning how to appreciate my body for what it is and stop obsessing over it, which led me to, you know, standing up for myself in my marriage. And I was making good money at work at this time. And I've like hired a cleaning company to clean my house, which was like my husband never would have paid for because he had this scarcity money mindset.

Katie Fenske

10:29:48

Mm-hmm.

Mmhm.

Katy Blommer

10:29:54

Like, this whole journey that led me to, um, promotions at work made me more confident in my career. I now, part of, uh, one of the speeches I give, one of the keynotes I give is about how, as women, if we have a terrible body image, it can actually hold us back from career growth.

Because our body is what we're doing our job in. Like we take our body to work every day and that can reflect in our confidence and our willingness to speak up and all these sort of high performing behaviors that can hold us back from. But I started getting promoted when I started learning all these things.

Katie Fenske

10:30:13

Yeah.

Wow.

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:30:26

And pretty soon before I knew it, I was a vice president at my company, again, making more money than I ever thought that I would. But I still hadn't learned the boundaries at work. I had learned the boundaries at home and I was starting to take care of myself and acting like I valued myself. But there I was with this big job, having imposter syndrome, feeling like they don't know the real me and wow, who's going to.

Katie Fenske

10:30:37

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:30:47

When are they going to discover that I'm not qualified to do this? Like all these things. And so that led me to working around the clock to try to prove myself. My kids were young at the time, like not seeing my kids as much. And I ended up getting into full burnout and it was probably a two year process from the time I realized I was in burnout to the time I actually had the courage.

Katie Fenske

10:30:48

We'll find out. Yeah. Yeah.

Katy Blommer

10:31:08

Uh, to step away and to leave. And so I… but I did, and what's the most wild thing.

Katie Fenske

10:31:10

Mmhm.

Katy Blommer

10:31:14

Is that I gave my notice after 19 years of being at my company. I gave my notice on March 2nd of 2022 weeks before the world closed because of COVID two weeks. And that was coincidental because I actually was giving my notice that day because our bonuses get paid out at the end of February. And I just wanted to make sure I got my bonus before I gave notice.

Katie Fenske

10:31:23

Oh my gosh.

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:31:34

And we had heard of COVID at that point, but we had no idea what was about to happen, so…

Katie Fenske

10:31:37

Yeah.

We had no idea what was coming. Even like the day before all the kids got sent home and work shut down, I was like, this will be two weeks, right? This will be two weeks.

Katy Blommer

10:31:40

It was wild, but…

Exactly, we did not know.

Yeah.

Yeah, and here I am with now elementary school kids who, you know, my mom, my mom was our nanny and so she wasn't going to be able to come because she's in her 60s and, you know, we don't know what's happening. And so I was so lucky that that was my timing because then my husband obviously and.

Katie Fenske

10:31:51

Oh my, oh my god!

Yeah.

That timing.

Katy Blommer

10:32:06

By the way, very privileged situation to be in the scenario where I could walk away from that job in burnout. I understand that most people cannot do that, and now I've learned there's a way I could have gotten out of my burnout without walking away, but at the time, I didn't know that, and so it was all just this perfect.

Katie Fenske

10:32:09

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Katy Blommer

10:32:21

situation and scenario where then I could be at home with the kids, um, I was lucky enough to have my husband who had a job with benefits, you know, so we were covered with that, and that is really when I just discovered my true passion and started working on a coaching program, was when I took that year off of my company, and then what was pretty amazing.

Katie Fenske

10:32:28

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:32:39

is that about a year later, a senior leader at the company who I really valued tried to get me to come back.

And I was, like, living my best life. I was coaching working moms. And I told him that. I said, I… I would love to come work for you, but I'm living my best life. And I said.

Katie Fenske

10:32:51

Uh-huh.

Katy Blommer

10:32:58

The requirements, what I would require right now to come back doesn't exist. I said it would need to be a promotion. It would need to be fewer hours. So basically get paid more to work less, right? Like, which is wild. Literally that type of role didn't exist at the company when I left. And he said, well, you know, with COVID, you would be surprised about the accommodations the company is willing to make.

Katie Fenske

10:33:01

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay.

Interesting.

Katy Blommer

10:33:20

And so, he said, if I can find something like this, can I… can I come back to you? And I was like, yeah, of course. And I'm thinking, there's no way, right? Like, I'm thinking, this is my polite way of telling him, thanks, but no thanks.

Katie Fenske

10:33:26

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:33:32

Um, but he did, he did come back, and he checked off every one of my… and I was like, excuse my language, but I was like, this is the most badass list of requirements. Like, I really was… I mean, I hope this doesn't sound bad, but I was like, I'm acting like a man right now. Like, I'm doing the opposite of…

Katie Fenske

10:33:34

Wow.

I'm saying what I want and I'm getting what I want. Yeah, which is so hard for us to do.

Katy Blommer

10:33:49

Yes!

I'm doing the opposite. Exactly. That's exactly it. The opposite of what women do where we see, oh, there's ten requirements and we only meet nine of them. We're not going to apply for the job. Right. I was exactly the opposite. I was like, these are the things I require. And he came back and said yes to all of them.

Katie Fenske

10:34:01

Mm-hmm.

Ah, wow.

Katy Blommer

10:34:07

And I couldn't believe it. And so then I was like, wow, I don't even want to say no. And that was 2021. And I've been back at my job ever since. And I've even, so I was also like, Hey, I've been coaching all these women on all these things to do. Now I get to go back and practice what I've been preaching, right?

Katie Fenske

10:34:19

No, I have to do it.

Yeah. Yeah.

Katy Blommer

10:34:23

And that was a little scary. It was, I'm not going to lie, but I've been doing it for five years now. And I got promoted again during that time with my boundaries, with my boundaries. And granted, it's an art. It is like, you have to figure it out. And it's still scary sometimes to have those boundaries.

Katie Fenske

10:34:25

Mm-hmm.

Wow.

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:34:40

But I'm doing it, and it's so amazing and wild that when we do the opposite of what society teaches us, like, be the yes person, work all the hours, do all the things, when we do the opposite.

Katie Fenske

10:34:47

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:34:52

We're still doing a good job. We still care about quality and leadership and, but when we stand up for ourselves and take care of ourselves, our career actually gets better. We get better at what we do. And trusting that is hard, but it is, it's very real and so exciting. Yeah.

Katie Fenske

10:34:55

Mm-hmm.

That's a great story. I love that. What would you say to a mom who cannot take that time off, but is still feeling burnout? So what's some, like, little things they can do.

Katy Blommer

10:35:08

Thank you. Yeah, thanks.

Yeah.

Katie Fenske

10:35:17

In the meantime.

Katy Blommer

10:35:18

Yeah, absolutely. Um, one of my biggest tools for success for exactly that situation is, um.

Katie Fenske

10:35:20

Okay.

Katy Blommer

10:35:28

it's called in my program a morning routine. It doesn't have to be done in the morning, and that's the reason I'm saying that, because if you have a baby who doesn't sleep, you're not always going to do this in the morning, but, you know, if you have kids who are sleeping, uh, you can do this in the morning, and there are benefits to doing it in the.

Katie Fenske

10:35:30

Okay.

Hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:35:43

As part of my journey, I read a book called The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod. Okay. Yes. So you know it. Yeah. So it's awesome. And for those, you know, who are listening, who haven't read it, the high level is that it's about a man who gets in a really terrible accident and gets really injured and gets into some, you know, depression and he ends up starting a morning routine that changes his life. And.

Katie Fenske

10:35:48

I've read, yes, I've read that. Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:36:07

I started the morning routine after I read that book and in his first version of it, it takes six minutes. You literally can do it so quickly. And it really was a big part of what started to give me the confidence to, to get on the path to leaving my job that I was in burnout in.

Katie Fenske

10:36:13

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Katy Blommer

10:36:23

But I have since taken his version and I've morphed it into the version that I teach in my program. And the fastest that you can do my version is 15 minutes. But what it is, the components, I'll rattle them off, but then I'll talk a little bit more about it.

Um, meditation.

reading your best life master plan, which I'll tell you a little bit about, personal development reading, uh, writing or journaling, and some body movement. And a lot of those components are very similar to what Hal does and teaches in his book. Um…

Katie Fenske

10:36:44

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:36:54

But if you can start your day, if you can do it in the morning, and even if you can't, still, you're gonna get a ton of benefits.

Um, if you can start your day on an upward spiral within your brain, you are much more likely to take the steps to make your life better, and that could include.

getting on the path to getting a different job if you're in burnout, right? And so, your Best Life Master Plan is a document that we create, and it's actually totally free. So, if you go to my podcast, The Working Mom Happiness Method.

Katie Fenske

10:37:14

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:37:26

And you literally start on episode one. I teach you how to create the best life master plan. And it leads up to the morning routine episode, which is episode 12. And it tells you how to do it all, but it, it literally leads you step by step, but it's, it's a, it's literally a Google doc. It's free. I give you a link to it in the podcast or in my book. It's, it's within my book. There's a link to it as well.

And you, you write down on paper your values, and I don't mean morals, I mean how you value spending your time at this stage of your life. You write down your values, you then define goals that tie back to those values, then boundaries that you have to put in place to achieve those goals.

And then affirmations and visualization. And this is where, especially for corporate women, people get a little eye rolly because I was like, when you grow up in the corporate world, you don't like, you're a little judgy about these affirmations and this visual visualization stuff. But as I.

Katie Fenske

10:38:06

I love that.

Katy Blommer

10:38:19

started to learn this more and try it for myself, I started to realize, oh, this is not woo woo, this is actual brain science. Like, this is actually how our brains work, and this is why you have the most skilled people in our society at what they do, like, like Olympic athletes, professional athletes, musicians.

Katie Fenske

10:38:25

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Sure.

Katy Blommer

10:38:34

they're all doing this, they're all visualizing their performances, and it's literally science-based, and it works. And so, what you're doing every morning when you start by reading this document, and I've had myself time it, and multiple women in my program time it, it takes about 8 minutes to read it. And you're kind of just scanning it.

Katie Fenske

10:38:40

Mm-hmm.

Oh, wow.

Yes. Yeah.

Katy Blommer

10:38:53

But if you start your day, this is how I value spending my time. These are my goals. These are the boundaries that I'm going to do to achieve these. And then a little visualization, and it's just one page in there, like a little vision board that you put your pictures on. Couple of affirmations. State your goals as if you've already achieved them.

Literally, and it sounds like magic, it's not, it's brain science. That's all you have to do because then your brain does the rest of the work for you after that. Your brain starts taking actions because you've just programmed it. And so that is literally what.

Katie Fenske

10:39:20

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:39:27

If I would have been doing all of that, the way that I've now designed it, I genuinely wouldn't have walked away from my job, I would have stood up for myself at my job, to the point where if they said, you know, no, you can't do this, then I would have looked for another job, I literally would not have left.

Katie Fenske

10:39:45

Yeah.

Katy Blommer

10:39:45

Now, it might taken me a little bit longer to get out of the burnout because you don't know how long it's going to take to find a new job. But what I found is that when you do these things, it energizes you in a way that even if you're, you don't, maybe you even hate your job, it helps change.

chip away a little bit at the burnout, even if you're still in that bad situation that you don't love. So, I know these are, like, long-winded answers, but I'm so passionate about all of it, so…

Katie Fenske

10:40:03

Right, right.

Oh, I love that.

I love it. I've got my vision board right here, like, on the window, so it's all… that's right up my alley. Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:40:11

Love.

Yeah. You see?

You're seeing it every day, and that's what it's about. You can't just create a vision board and look at it once. You have to make it a part of your daily life, for sure. Yeah. So I love that.

Katie Fenske

10:40:16

Mm-hmm.

Yep, yep. It's right there behind my computer. Okay, so you talked about your book and your course. So tell me more about that. What inspired you to write that?

Katy Blommer

10:40:24

Love. Amazing.

Yeah.

Yeah. So when I left my corporate job, literally planned to just watch TV for six months. That was my plan. I'm not going to do anything else because my kids were in elementary, but they were in like all day elementary. So I was like, Hey, I'm just going to watch TV because I love watching TV and I never really got to do it a lot because I was so busy.

Katie Fenske

10:40:42

Yeah, yeah.

Uh-huh.

Katy Blommer

10:40:49

Um, and then COVID happened and I was like, okay, I guess I'm not going to watch. Yeah, it was fine. It was all good. Yeah. But I was one day I was, um, you know, I was listening to, I was out walking and I was listening to my, my usual podcast and she had a guest on and her guest was somebody who does.

Katie Fenske

10:40:51

Now they're home with me. No TV now.

Katy Blommer

10:41:06

An online coaching course and certification. And I didn't even know there were coaches out there that were different than life coaches. I had heard of life coaching, but I didn't know there was this whole world. And when she was talking about this, I was like, this is what I want to do. I want to be, I thought a body image coach.

Katie Fenske

10:41:13

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:41:21

I was like, I want to be a body image coach because working on my body image helped me so much in my career. And I was like, I want to teach others this. So I ended up signing up for a program and it was kind of expensive. And I was like, this could even be a scam. I don't even know. Like I've never done it. It was a leap. I've never done anything like this, but I took the leap. The program was not a scam. It was amazing. And I ended up walking out of there with what I call the working mom happiness method. And she even helped you like name your program and set it up.

Katie Fenske

10:41:22

Oh, wow.

Mm-hmm.

Wow.

Katy Blommer

10:41:46

And so I ended up then posting about it, and this is the time when my Instagram, I had, like, a hundred followers who were, like, high school friends or whatever, you know, like, I hadn't even tried this stuff, and it was a little scary, and you know, we all feel a little cringey when we first start doing it.

Katie Fenske

10:41:51

Uh-huh. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes. Are people going to judge me? Are they going to think this is weird? Yep.

Katy Blommer

10:42:00

Yes.

Exactly that. And I ended up selling out the course the very first time, which was so exciting. And I knew when I taught that course, this is my passion. This is what I love. I like my corporate job and I like leadership. I really do. I could tell you right now, I really like my corporate job, but it's not my passion. This is my passion, like teaching.

Katie Fenske

10:42:13

Mm-hmm.

Katy Blommer

10:42:24

Working moms, coaching moms. And so I knew it and solidified it through there. And then I, the second round, I did it as a group program because it was one on one at first. And then I loved it even more because everyone could just relate to each other so much. We're all struggling with the same things. Literally, we all are.

Katie Fenske

10:42:35

Yes.

Yep.

Katy Blommer

10:42:41

And so I loved that. But then when I went back to, when I chose to go back to my corporate job based on all those awesome things, I was like, okay, I know I'm not going to have enough time to still coach this at the level that I've been doing. And so I scaled it back.

But then the other thing that I started realizing a couple sessions in is that the women who were attracted to what I do didn't value themselves enough yet to spend the amount of money on themselves that my program, when it was one on one cost, because it was a lot of my time, right?

Katie Fenske

10:43:14

Yeah, thank you.

Yeah. Yeah.

Katy Blommer

10:43:16

And so I didn't feel bad about what I was charging, but I started to realize, oh, they're not ready to spend this money on themselves yet.

Katie Fenske

10:43:22

I hear that a lot, that a lot of women don't want to give up their money for something else.

Katy Blommer

10:43:23

Yeah.

For themselves! Exactly! It's almost like they needed my program to get to that point, and that's when I was like, this needs to be a $20 book, because they will spend $20 on themselves, like… and so… so I started my book, believe it or not, in 2021, after I went back to work, and it took 5 years, it just launched in April.

Katie Fenske

10:43:28

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Got it. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Well…

Ah, congratulations!

Katy Blommer

10:43:46

Just barely. So it took 5 years, thank you, but that was the… that was the catalyst for the book, was that I wanted to be able to offer it more to the masses, and I wanted, uh, women who weren't there yet, at a place yet where they would spend more big dollars on themselves, um, to be able to have access to the program. So that was… yeah, that was it.

Katie Fenske

10:43:51

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

I love that. Well, congratulations on all of that. That sounds amazing. Um, to wrap it up, can you tell us where we can find your book and your program and learn more about you?

Katy Blommer

10:44:06

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah, thank you so much. I appreciate that. Um, I have a website. It's called womensbestlifeuniversity.com. You'll see everything about the book and the programs that I have on the web.

I'm on and then my book is on Amazon and Barnes and Noble online. And the podcast is free everywhere you listen to podcasts. Just look for the Working Mom Happiness Method. It's all the same name, the book and the podcast and the program. Yeah, the Working Mom Happiness Method.

Happiness method, so.

Katie Fenske

10:44:45

I love it. I love it. I love that you can make doing it all look doable, and you're happy, and everyone's supported, so I love what you're doing.

Katy Blommer

10:44:46

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. Genuinely, cheesily, I know, stated, but living my best life. We can do all the things, we maybe can't do all of them all at the same time, but if we have the right prioritization, we can do all the things. And so, yeah, love that.

Katie Fenske

10:45:00

Mm-hmm.

Love it. Oh, well, thank you so much for coming on.

Katy Blommer

10:45:08

Thank you. And I love what you're doing. Thank you for what you're doing. I'm so excited to be connected. I'm following you on Instagram. So thank you. I'm really excited. Thanks.

Katie Fenske

10:45:11

Thank you.

Oh, awesome. Well, we'll stay in touch then.

Katy Blommer

10:45:17

Sounds great. Thanks, Katie. Take care. Have a good day.