Sensory Issues

Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) is a real thing. And today's episode is about the senses and what that can feel like for Gracie. She shares what she loves and what she doesn't love about her different senses and we've called it 'Sensory Issues' because this is the term that Gracie understands. Stay tuned for a bonus episode this week where Melanie shares tips and tricks to help with all senses. 

Music: Moments by Shane Ivers - https://www.silvermansound.com
Cover art photo by Sharon Light Photography

Thanks for listening! Follow us on Facebook or check out our blog at www.wellbalancedlife.ca. And don't forget...you're not alone!

Transcript

Guitar gently strums  0:00

Melanie
Hello! And welcome again to well balanced life! A place where you will feel understood and supported on your autism or other special needs journey. My daughter Grace and I hope to educate others who aren't familiar with neurodiversity but we will also provide some support to other parents and caregivers who are raising these incredible human beings.
So as promised, we're going to jump in with some of those symptoms that can trigger meltdowns. And this week, Gracie chose to speak about sensory issues. 
We love that you're here and we really appreciate all the support that everyone's given... and hopefully, this episode will help some of you out. 
So talking about sensory issues Gracie, what does sensory mean to you? 

Grace
Sensory means like... the feel of different things.

Melanie
Yeah, we've talked about this quite a bit I guess. So... Uncle Graham had... we went out for dinner with Uncle Graham and Aunt Becky a couple weeks ago and Uncle Graham had mentioned that I used some big words with you, and he's totally right! I do. And I think that, um... because we've talked about so many things over the years and I've used that language, there are quite a few bigger words that you understand. And there's still some that you don't, which is why I check in every once in a while. But if you don't understand what I'm saying you know to ask right? 

Grace
Yeah. 

Melanie
But as far as sensory goes, what were you saying?  Sensories is the feelings of different stuff. 

Melanie
Right, and where do you feel those things? 

Grace
Umm...Everywhere. Everything I touch I can I feel...everything basically. 

Melanie
You remember learning about the five senses? In school? 

Grace
Ah, no.

Melanie
Do you remember what our senses are? Like you mentioned feel.

Grace
Oh our nose!

Melanie
Yeah. What do we do with our nose?

Grace
I'm not kindergarten!

Melanie
(Laughing) I'm asking though to make sure you know!

Grace
Fingers in your nose! 

Melanie
What?!? Fingers in your nose?

Grace
No, on top of your nose! Alright, this isn't Simon Says either!

Melanie
(Laughing) I'm touching my nose because you said nose! What do we do with our nose?

Grace
We smell. 

Melanie
OK, what's the next sense? 

Grace
We hear!

Melanie
We hear with our...

Grace
Ears! 

Melanie
(Still laughing) What else?

Grace
(Laughing) We eat with our mouth and we talk with our mouth!

Melanie
You're right! Anything else? So, we've got eyes, ears...

Grace
Ugh... nose, mouth, head and shoulders knees and toes! 

Melanie
(Laughing) That's right! Ahhh...I love it! 
OK so when I mentioned sensory issues, what do you think that means? 

Grace
Sensory issues are like different feels that I like. 

Melanie
That you like! True. It could be some of the things that you like...

Grace
Or don't like!

Melanie
Or don't like! Yeah absolutely! So why don't we start with some of those sensory issues or sensory stuff that you like.
Are you yawning? 

Grace
Sorry.

Melanie 
Long day at school! No today's Thursday. Grace has a really early morning class.

Grace
Yeah, 6am! It's awful. So, usually Thursdays are like the day where I'm more tired. 
I was yawning a lot at tutor session. My LIF's like "where you... are are you yawning?" I'm like "yeah I'm sorry" but she understood that I have a long day. So..,

Melanie
Yeah.  So anyway... sorry. So what are those senses that you really like? 

Grace
I really like blankets. The sense of blankets like if they're super soft. If I see like the super soft blanket like at a store, I gotta get it right away!

Melanie
Yeah. 

Grace
And... and I have tons of blankets in my bed. 

Melanie
Right. Mom tries to put a stop on those though right? Just because it's a lot of money and you... one soft blanket to me is the same, mind you... 

Grace
Especially in the winter when I'm freezing or when I stay extra cozy. 

Melanie
Mhmm... I just... I don't understand why you need...

Grace
It's just cuz it helps me sleep. Like, I don't know... like the feeling of it.

Melanie
But, do you need like 5 or just...

Grace
Yeah! That's me! If you if you didn't care I'd have like a million different other blankets in my room! 

Melanie
I know! Okay, sorry... go on...

Grace
Umm, I like the sensory of tickles. I really like that! I like the sensory of foods... some foods. Really soft foods. 

Melanie
Oh, you like textures of food?

Grace
Mhm, yeah. 
What else do I like... 
I like I like water sensory and water sometimes. 

Melanie
Yeah, when you used to swim you would be underwater all the time! I would actually have to warn the lifeguards that you're not drowning or you know, you... you would stay underwater for a long time and you'd dive really really deep too. 

Grace
Yeah. Mhm... yeah!

Melanie 
Deep pressure... 

Grace
Deep pressure

Melanie
 That was another one that you really liked and we talked about that in one of the episodes. 

Grace
Ah, what else sentence.. sensories do that I like... I like water noises you know, and...

Melanie
What are you doing right now? 

Grace
So the thing that I like to do is, I like to tickle... I like to play with my hair... I like to take a... I like to take my hair and I like to put it on my face or with... especially with my knuckles, I like to crack it because I like the... and it drives my parents crazy. 

Melanie
Well it's every second of every day. 

Grace
Yeah, I don't notice it but sometimes I do it all the time. Or sometimes I tickle my hand...

Melanie
Like gentle tickles right? 

Grace
Yeah r

Melanie
Like really light things?

Grace
Yeah. 

Melanie
So what does that do for you? 

Grace
Mmm...the sensories that I like... it calms me down or makes me feel happy. Um, for example, before bed every night, when I go to bed, I have like this white water noise. I've two noises playing. I have water noise is playing, and a fan noise playing. 

Melanie
That helps you fall asleep does it? 

Grace
Yeah. 

Yeah? And then... you also do something with your phone? 

Grace
Oh! I'd like to... I like to go on my phone and stim over it... or paper. 

Melanie
Can you describe what that looks like for someone that can't see you right now? 

Grace
You have... basically I take my phone, and I take like the front of it and I just like use my hands to skim over it because I like the feel of it and paper sometimes. I flip paper and tickle it with my hand. 

Melanie
So stimming can look different for different people. 

Grace
Yeah. 

Melanie
So the definition of stimming or self stimulatory behavior... Raising Children says "stimming or self stimulatory behavior is repetitive or unusual body movement or noises. Stimming might include hand and finger mannerisms, for example, finger flicking and hand flapping, unusual body movements, which could be rocking back and forth while sitting or standing."
I know some kids who like to spin around in circles quite a bit or flap their hand in front of their face or in front of their eyes really closely. Your stimming is like flipping your phone back and forth or a piece of paper back and forth, and you also... you've done this since you were a little girl. It was so cute. I even have one of your school pictures like that where you would bring your wrist up to your cheek and you would make this noise like mmmmm. Do you remember that? You still do it every once in a while, like I catch you once in a while... or the humming noise! You just did it right there! It's pretty cute... but anyway... 
Should we stop somebody from stimming? 

Grace
No. 

Melanie
No! Why not? 

Grace
Because it's how... it helps them with different things. 

Melanie
For sure!  Sometimes... like you had mentioned, you do it because it helps you, but it also calms you down right? So some kids might do that in an environment where they're really uncomfortable. 

Grace
Yeah. 

Melanie
And it just helps them be more comfortable in that situation. 

Grace
Yeah. 

Melanie
So we mentioned that um...sensory issues can be positive things for people. When does it become a problem? When is it a challenge, those sensory issues?

Grace
When I'd do that all the time in front of you or dad.

Melanie
(Laughing) That's just more out of our like, annoyance with the constant noises right... Where... and we do we need breaks from that. And that's... that's OK. That's just human and you know... it would be like somebody humming 24/7 and you don't get a break from that.

Grace
Yeah. I've had that at camp for two weeks. 

Melanie
What do you mean? Somebody else was doing that?
 
Grace
Yeah, all the time! 

Melanie
(With laughter) Which I find so funny because you would get so annoyed! Oh my gosh, you would get so annoyed with somebody else and come home and say "Oh my gosh mom, this person was making so much noise and they were just you know... in my face all the time and and making this noise" and yet that's exactly what you would do! That was just one of your way of trying to connect with somebody. 

Grace
Yeah. 

Melanie
Right? You would go up into their face and make a noise to get their attention. And I just find it so funny that you could never notice what you were doing, (laughing) but you'd be annoyed by somebody else. 
So anyway... but when I mean like... when it's an issue, what I mean is...  when the noises are too loud or the.. there's crowds of people and you might have a lot of people bumping into you... 

Grace
I felt like that a little bit from the bus today... it was... it was busy this morning which was... which I was surprised. And I was sitting in front of somebody. I was sitting beside somebody and in front of me... sitting in front of me. I was sitting beside Bell and then this other person, and I felt very...It got very overwhelming a bit. 

Melanie
Yeah, and what did you do to handle it? 

Grace
I just listened to my music.

Melanie
Mhm? That's good!

Grace
And then from... from getting overwhelmed like that, I almost forgot my shoes and water bottle on the bus. 

Melanie
Yeah, that is something that can happen right? You do tend to forget things. 

Grace
Yeah and luckily I got out of the bus and like forgot my shoes... luckily the bus driver was nice and didn't leave and... 

Melanie
That's good! (With laughter) Gracie's rolling her eyes because there is somebody on the bus that really frustrates her. We won't talk poorly about anybody, but if you've heard the other episodes, I've mentioned that if you do her wrong whether it's just a look or a comment in the wrong tone, she will hold that against you forever! And that's what's happening right now! But we'll chat about that on another episode. 
So we've mentioned that the loud noises can be really hard and crowds can be really difficult. High pitched noises... So when we go into the bathroom... like a public washroom, you have a really hard time with the hand dryers. 

Grace
Yeah. 

Melanie
You're doing better now because... 

Grace
I still do have a hard time! Like it just... I'm getting better at it. It's just sometimes it still bugs me.

Melanie
So I think maybe what we can do is... you know, we'll keep this episode just about what sensory issues can look like and then I'll do another episode on some strategies that some parents can maybe try.
Without naming any names, do you have any friends that you notice who might have issues with sensory issues, or they've told you about. 

Grace
I know that a couple do, yeah. 

Melanie
And what kind of sensory issues? 

Grace
I think loud noises or if there's a lot of people. 

Melanie
So, kind of similar to what you struggle with sometimes. 

Grace
Yeah. 

Melanie
And a big one that a lot of kids tend to have that... well who I worked with is shoes. Like they don't like the feeling of certain clothing on their body or shoes on their feet. So you know, we kind of pick and choose some of our battles right? But you do have to wear clothing when you go outside. So one thing that we used to do with you is... one thing that we used to do with you is we would lay out your clothing for a little bit. Especially transitioning from different seasons. 

Grace
Yes. 

Melanie
You had a really really hard time going from shorts and T-shirts to the winter clothing or vice versa. So we would do that... we would let you hold on to those things to... to the clothes and the fabric. We would cut out your tags. Tags used to bother you a lot. 

Grace
Yeah.

Melanie
And so we've mentioned touch can be positive or negative. We've mentioned noises. Do you... do you like any noises or anything? Like you mentioned water sounds and stuff. 

Grace
Yeah, water noises. 

Melanie
Is there anything out... like outside, or anything that you might... 

Grace
Birds! 

Melanie
You'd like to hear birds? 

Grace
Yes, or crickets! I don't like hearing crickets at 3:00 AM though! 

Melanie
No. And Gracie does have a really good sense of hearing. Because um... we were at a Wiggles concert and do you remember that? We were at a wiggles concert and you could not concentrate on the show that was going on. They were singing songs out there, it was quite loud because all the kids and parents around were all singing along with them. But you were just like, looking around and looking around at this one area and you kept saying "baby's crying, a baby's crying" and we were like "there's no baby crying honey. It's all singing". Well once everybody like clapped for the song and it there was just like a couple seconds of where the whole crowd just got quiet and boom! There was a baby crying! 

Grace
Yeah! 

Melanie
You could hear that through anything. And dad and I used to test you. We'd be upstairs and we would just whisper like chocolate bar and you would come running because you could hear us talking upstairs. So we have to be very careful. There were a couple of incidents at school too where you overheard some staff talking and knew some private things that you shouldn't know because they didn't realize that you could do that so closely. But...um,  that's another thing. When kids are at school and they really struggle with loud noises and stuff. If you think about how often there's a bell, especially in high school where they change periods, right? There's the bell, there's the announcements, O' Canada's usually sung. There's a lot of loud things happening. So it can be pretty exhausting by the time you get home. But like I said, I'll do another episode that I'll probably attach closely after this one to to give you guys. Some tips and tricks on how we can... how you can help your child. 
What about foods? You had mentioned you like certain textures which is funny. I didn't know about that. I'm just learning that today. I didn't know that you preferred soft food. But one thing that I can say about food is... and I'm saying in this in the nicest way... but to give them a good description of what it looks like... like you shove that food in pretty quick. (With laughter). 

Grace
Yeah. 

Melanie
Right? And a lot of it! You eat it fast. You have your mouth open, you have way too much food in your mouth. Um, you've got those chipmunk cheeks. What do you think that is about? 

Grace
I don't know. I've... I've always eaten fast.

Melanie
But just putting so much in at one time.

Grace
I don't know. Like, if I don't like something, I like to shove it in my mouth so I don't have to eat it anymore. 

Melanie
Are you serious? 

Grace
Yeah. 

Melanie
I had no idea! 

Grace
Yeah. If I don't like something, I just eat fast so I don't... b\

Melanie
But we give you a lot of food that I know you like but you still put a lot in.

Grace
I know! But it's  just like... I don't know what it is...I'm like that. 

Melanie
Spicy foods. Do you like spicy foods? 

Grace
No. I don't like spicy food. No.

Melanie
 Can you taste that strongly? I have a feeling you taste it way stronger than everybody else.

Grace
Yeah I do. 

Melanie
So that's that whole hyper-sensitive compared to hypo-sensitive right? And just as a refresher for you that's listening, the hypersensitive is when they can really feel, see hear, smell, taste things really really strongly and then hypo-sensitive is when they don't have that much... you know... because they don't feel the pain as bad or because that's happened to where... it's gone both ways for Gracie. When it comes to pain she could be hypersensitive and you know scream at the top of her lungs because she thinks she's broken her arm when you know, it was just a simple little going into you right? And then other times you don't feel it at all. 

Grace
No. Little back story, I fake broken an arm back in 2015 New Year's Eve. 

Melanie
Is that the year... I was just going to ask you, do you know the day of the week of that?

Grace
Ah, no I don't. But... I don't know ...I can't I actually... I don't remember the day but I remember it was at night time! 

Melanie
Yeah. You know, Gracie used to be able to really like... she could tell us the day of the week... (Grace interrupted).

Grace
I did break my arm! I did have a broken bone before. 2012. 

Melanie
But you didn't the night that you said that you did! And I took you to the hospital! 

Grace
Yeah! 

Melanie
(With some laughter) We can talk about that on another one too. So many ideas for episodes come up while we're talking!
The next one that we haven't talked about is your vision and things that you can see really clearly. And I think that goes for a lot of people with autism where it's kind of hard at times for you to see the big picture, but you notice all the little details. As you've gotten older you can see the bigger picture but when you were younger you could see the tiniest details and things. You would point out things to me that I never even noticed. Like it's usually like something that was of an interest to you, like a little Santa Claus sticker inside somebody's car that like I couldn't see, or you know, a little bird that was... happened to be in a tree somewhere that I didn't notice. That's kind of cool too. 
Is there anything else you can think of about sensory issues? 

Grace
No. 

Melanie
Okay! Well thanks for sharing that so far! Like I said, I'm going to do another episode on the podcast that will have some strategies for some specific... maybe I'll go through all the senses and give some strategies for each one to be a little bit more clear. But I thought it would be pretty cool to just kind of hear what life is like for you when it comes to all your senses.

Grace
 Yep!

Melanie
Okay, well thanks for sharing! And thanks for listening! 

Grace
Make sure you like and subscribe. And you're not alone!

Melanie
 Hey! (With laughter) Good job!