Year One of College Complete!

Gracie is done her first year of college!! And she's already bored! Listen to Gracie share her thoughts on the changes that have begun with her routine, the seasons, and home life. Melanie will share tips on how to help your child entertain themselves with information on their blog!

Blog: http://www.wellbalancedlife.ca
Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100079563130264

Music: Moments by Shane Ivers - https://www.silvermansound.com
Cover art photo by Sharon Light Photography

Thanks for listening! Follow us on Facebook or check out our blog at www.wellbalancedlife.ca. And don't forget...you're not alone! 

Transcript

00:00:00 Melanie  

Hello!  Welcome to Well Balanced Life. 

If you're new here, I'm Melanie, a mom of three, and someone who has over two decades of working in the social service, educational and developmental sectors. 

My daughter Gracie is here and together we share firsthand experiences of living with autism and neurodiversity. 

00:00:18 Melanie 

Do you want to tell them a little bit about yourself, Grace? 

00:00:21 Grace 

Uh, yeah sure... I have autism, and right now, I'm bored. 

00:00:30 Melanie 

(Laughing) We... we didn't record a podcast last week because I actually forgot to pack our microphone when we went on our little trip. 

00:00:38 Melanie 

Did you want to tell them where we went last weekend? 

00:00:41 Grace 

We went to Detroit to see a show named Bluey that I love. It was a lot of fun! 

00:00:48 Melanie 

It was a Christmas present that we had given to you right? 

00:00:50 Grace 

Yes, a Christmas present. 

00:00:52 Melanie 

And we celebrated a little bit of...What was the big accomplishment that you finished? 

00:00:57 Grace 

I just finished my first semester of college....uh...I'm sorry, I hate when I say that. My first year of college. 

00:01:05 Melanie 

Yeah, you did amazing, didn't you? 

00:01:07 Melanie 

So, when you say "I'm bored"... What's going on right now? 

00:01:13 Grace 

So, a week ago, one week it will be... tomorrow will be a week that I finished school. 

So, I finished a week about almost a week ago and I haven't been working as much because they haven't... They still think I'm in school, so they haven't given me more hours so. 

00:01:32 Grace 

Basically, this week, the first couple days were nice because I didn't have to go to work. I was able to relax, but I am starting to get very bored. 

00:01:42 Grace 

I don't know what to do with myself. I’m becoming lazy so... kind of feels like a lockdown, but a lot nicer because I'm able to go out and do stuff, but it kind of feels like lockdown because I'm very bored. I don't know what to do with myself right now. 

00:01:59 Melanie 

And a big part of that has to do with the change, right? Like, you had a routine. You knew what days you were and what times you were having to catch the bus to go to school. The days that you were working, you were kind of kept pretty busy every single day from September until now, and now we're trying to figure out... how is the summer going to look? What are we going to do? 

00:02:22 Melanie 

So, can you maybe share how you deal with change, how you feel about change and especially even with the seasons? 

00:02:30 Melanie 

It's not just the change of activity, but it could be the change of clothing, the change of routine. 

00:02:39 Grace 

The... the change of routines can be a bit challenging, like when I'm done... like for example, I'm done school now and it's so nice that I don't have to have stress about homework that like, that's like part of the...That's the best feeling about the change is... I don't have to stress about things anymore, and I... and I don't miss that at all. 

00:03:00 Grace 

But when I... I'm just so used to being busy, I'm... I'm not as busy as I am anymore, so I'm... so I'm trying to figure out what I'm gonna do for four months. 

00:03:13 Melanie 

That's right. 

00:03:13 Melanie 

What about your clothes? 

00:03:15 Grace 

My clothes...Ah! 

00:03:17 Melanie 

The changes of the seasons are also a thing. 

00:03:20 Grace 

So the changes of season. 

00:03:22 Grace 

So right now the weather outside is nice, but freezing, and when it comes to seasons changing, I have a hard time switching into pants and switching into shorts. Like a couple a couple weeks ago, it was so nice out. It felt like summer was here and then all of a sudden it was...Now it's freezing! 

00:03:41 Melanie 

Yeah, so that... That stresses you out a bit too, right? Trying to figure out what to wear and checking the weather every day and the obsession with laundry and what you're going to wear. And sometimes, like, I don't know if you remember this, but when you were younger, you would go outside with nothing but your diaper on or you would be wearing shorts all summer and then fall would come and the cold, cold weather would come and you really, really, really struggled to change from shorts to pants. And from sandals to shoes and then from shoes to boots. That used to be pretty hard for you. 

00:04:18 Melanie 

So we would lay out your clothes on your bed or just in the house on the couch or whatever, just so you could see them and kind of get used to them before we did the switch. 

00:04:30 Melanie 

And sometimes we forgot to do that. And then it would snow one day like... Where we live, it can be like, super, super hot where you're wearing shorts, a t-shirt and sandals. And then the next day it, could be snowing. 

00:04:44 Melanie 

So that... that doesn't help, does it? 

00:04:46 Grace 

No, no. 

00:04:48 Melanie 

And we have a few other changes that are happening within the home that is kind of new right? So... 

00:04:55 Melanie 

So, your brother and sister have gone away to college. Emma was living away at college. 

00:05:00 Melanie 

She's graduated now, so she's back home. She's been back home for a while. But she also spends time at her boyfriend's place half time, I would say throughout the year, while he's at school. And then your brother was living away and now he's back at home. 

00:05:17 Melanie 

So, do you want to talk about the changes that are happening here and how that makes you feel? 

00:05:21 Grace 

Yeah, sure. 

00:05:22 Grace 

So, for me, in rooms, I have changed rooms like... I'm just trying to think... I was upstairs for a while and since I was too loud upstairs, they moved me down to Emma's room and then I was there for a while and then I went... Then I moved down to the basement and then now, since Emma's boyfriend is here, living with us full time, my mom suggested because... she suggested that he should, that Emma and him should have my spaces because I never used my full space and I kinda don't really like people in my space. Kind of like to have it privately. 

00:06:04 Grace 

So the plan is that... Before my grandma, Grandpa moved away to the cottage, I have to... 

00:06:11 Grace 

I'm gonna move into my sister's room for a few months, and then once May or June comes, I have... 

00:06:17 Grace 

I'm gonna move to my grandma and grandpa's side of my house. My grandparents live with us, so I'm looking forward to the grandma and grandpa's side and not really looking forward to Emma’s room. 

00:06:28 Melanie 

Right. I don't know... 

00:06:31 Melanie 

Like I wouldn't say that Emma and David will be here like full time, right? 

00:06:36 Melanie 

Cause David has his home as well with his family. 

00:06:40 Melanie 

But there's just more... 

00:06:41 Melanie 

There's more people that are over here more often. 

00:06:43 Melanie 

Right? 

00:06:44 Melanie 

There's Emma, her boyfriend, Joshua. 

00:06:47 Melanie 

You. And you guys stay up really, really late. 

00:06:50 Melanie 

And with Emma's work schedule, she works some late shifts a lot of the time and then there's a lot of cooking that goes on at midnight in our home. And you're right, you had... 

00:07:02 Melanie 

So for those that don't know, we did post a long time ago that we were setting up an apartment downstairs for Grace to help with the transition to adulthood, and so she could live down there. 

00:07:15 Melanie 

Obviously she would be a part of our family and be upstairs and whatnot, but the whole idea was to teach her how to live on her own in our home, prior to her growing up and moving out on her own right. The problem that's happened is Gracie does not access anything that we've built down there. 

00:07:37 Melanie 

There's a kitchen area with the fridge and living room, and then her bedroom, and this girl likes to just hang out in her bedroom! 

00:07:46 Grace 

Yeah, right. 

00:07:47 Melanie 

So, it's a large space that's not being utilized and we have more bodies in the house. 

00:07:52 Melanie 

So, we are going to do some rearranging and I'm sure if you listened, you know that Gracie has a really, really hard time with change. 

00:08:00 Melanie 

So, we ended up talking to her about it and then giving her the decision of how we were going to do it and if she was open to doing it and also giving her time to get used to the idea. 

00:08:13 Melanie 

So, I think it's probably been about a week now right? 

00:08:16 Grace 

Yeah. 

00:08:16 Melanie 

Since we've made the decision and you agreed to switch out. 

00:08:21 Melanie 

Does that help you when you have time? 

00:08:23 Grace 

Yes! 

00:08:24 Melanie 

Don't... Like if I were to say “OK! Up you get! We're moving things! 

00:08:28 Grace 

Uh, no, that would’ve been harder for me.

00:08:31 Melanie 

Yeah, that wouldn't have gone over so well. So we give you about a week to let that settle. 

00:08:35 Melanie 

Some things, you don't need a whole week to get used. 

00:08:38 Speaker 2 

Yeah. 

00:08:38 Melanie 

But time does help you, right? 

00:08:41 Grace 

Yeah. 

00:08:42 Melanie 

So, as for school, what are some things that you're gonna miss about school? 

00:08:47 Grace 

Eating out at the cafeteria, just having a routine, getting work done and feeling good about my marks. 

00:08:57 Grace 

That's what I'm gonna miss the most. 

00:09:00 Grace 

Probably just that. 

00:09:01 Melanie 

Do you have any thoughts for what you want to do this summer? 

00:09:03 Melanie 

I know you mentioned that you want to work a little bit more, but what about the rest of the summer? 

00:09:07 Grace 

I have a lot of things! 

00:09:09 Grace 

Camp is one of them. 

00:09:10 Grace 

The first two weeks of July, I'm going to camp. I'm so... 

00:09:13 Grace 

I did just hope it's not like last year where it's masks and COVID tests and that. 

00:09:14 Melanie 

Yeah, you love that camp, don't you? 

00:09:23 Melanie 

You still got to go though, so that's good. 

00:09:25 Melanie 

Yes. 
Going to Wonderland cause I have a seasons pass. 

00:09:31 Grace 

Going swimming. 

00:09:33 Grace 

Going to... maybe going to Niagara Falls again because that was so fun. 

00:09:38 Melanie 

Really? You want to go back? 

00:09:39 Grace 

Yeah, for my birth... I was thinking maybe for my birthday. 

00:09:42 Melanie 

Yeah? 

00:09:43 Grace 

Yeah! Niagara Falls can be very cold in February and in the summer, my brother has gone with a few friends. Has gone to... Has gone to Niagara Falls one time with a few of his friends and May last year when it was warmer, they had a fun time, so I want... I kind of want to go and see what it's like in the summer so... 

00:10:05 Grace 

Umm...go swimming, go shopping. 

00:10:10 Grace 

Hang out with my cousins. 

00:10:12 Grace 

Well I have a lot of things I like to do in the summer. 

00:10:15 Melanie 

So what do you think will help you so that you're not just sitting in your room every day. 

00:10:20 Grace 

Uh, probably... Probably like with work... If I work a couple days and have a fun day, work a couple days and the fun day, then I think I would not be bored out of my mind. 

00:10:29 Grace 

But if I just work a couple days, like...for like... when I... I worked everyday in the summer last.. like not every day. 

00:10:36 Grace 

But I worked mostly in the summer last summer, so I was busy. 

00:10:40 Grace 

I made a lot of money, but the days that I were at home I was a bit bored, but not as bored because I... I was so busy. 

00:10:49 Grace 

So I... I just hope this summer is fun because summer only comes once a year, right? 

00:10:55 Grace 

And it goes away pretty quickly. 

00:10:58 Melanie 

So in the past we've written down different activities on little scraps of paper and threw them in a jar and then on days that you were bored you could just pick one out. 

00:11:08 Grace 

UGH.... 

00:11:09 Melanie 

(Lauging) You don't like that do you? 

00:11:11 Melanie 

And it's so funny, like... cause I'm not telling you what you need to do, and they're your ideas. But I get the feeling that you don't like that idea because... I don't know... Maybe because I wrote them down and you think I'm telling you what you need to do? 

00:11:23 Melanie 

Grace doesn't really like being told what to do! 

00:11:24 Melanie 

So what do you think we could do differently then? Since you don't like that idea? 

00:11:32 Grace 

I don't know. 

00:11:35 Melanie 

Well, what if we came up with a list like we did for the jar, but don't put them in the jar, but we write a list of things that you like to do. 

00:11:42 Grace 

Yeah. 

00:11:42 Melanie 

Like things that we can do around town though, right? 

00:11:45 Melanie 

Going to Wonderland, Niagara Falls, camp... Those are all great and they're all bigger things. 

00:11:51 Melanie 

And we can't... like mom and dad work, so we can't be doing special things every single day of the summer. And you also have to learn how to keep yourself busy. Right? 

00:12:00 Grace 

Yes! 

00:12:00 Melanie 

When we're... when we're working and stuff. Um... 

00:12:04 Melanie 

So there are some things like, going for walks with your friends. 

00:12:07 Grace 

Yeah,  

00:12:07 Melanie 

Maybe walking to the town dock and getting an ice cream cone, going to the beach. 

00:12:13 Melanie 

There's different things that you might be able to do where you can either take the bus, or walk with them. 

00:12:18 Grace 

OK. Yeah. 

00:12:19 Melanie 

So what do you think If we just wrote a list of different things that you can do so you have ideas? 

00:12:25 Grace 

Yeah, I like ...I... I like that. 

00:12:26 Melanie 

And then we can even put them on your calendar if you want, like each weekend we can talk about the week, write down some things that you can do on each day. 

00:12:38 Melanie 

What do you think? 

00:12:40 Grace 

I like that. 

00:12:41 Melanie 

You're not gonna sigh and complain about it like the jar? 

00:12:43 Grace 

No (laughing) 

00:12:46 Melanie 

Is there any activities that you can do outside in the yard?  

00:12:49 

Um...no. 

00:12:50 Melanie 

Do you want to ride a bike or play basketball or... 

00:12:52 Grace 

I do...I do wanna ride a bike. 

00:12:55 Melanie 

Yeah? 

00:12:55 Grace 

Yeah.  

00:12:56 Melanie 

OK. 

00:12:56 Melanie 

Well, we'll talk about some of those things a little bit more and try to figure out a summer plan. 

00:13:02 Grace 

Yeah,  

00:13:03 Melanie 

Because I think for the kids that are still in school, like elementary school and high school that goes until June...especially when I worked in the school system, I really found that our kids really, really struggled starting in May. Like it was almost like May arrived and they were just done. Like school... they were exhausted from the whole school year. In May is when we started to see an increase in symptoms so if you're seeing that in May and you can't figure out what's going on, it very well could just be the nicer weather is coming, it feels like it should be summer and our kids are just tired, so that's a pretty... that's a pretty common thing. 

00:13:45 Melanie 

So it's kind of nice that you're finished. Like college finishes in April. 

00:13:50 Melanie 

But that also means that it's not just two months, but four months of trying to figure out how to keep yourself busy all this time. 

00:13:57 Grace 

Yeah. 

00:13:59 Melanie 

So another thing that we might be able to do is maybe come up with some ideas for families at home, right? 

00:14:05 Grace 

Yeah. 

00:14:07 Melanie 

If your child has a really hard time entertaining themselves, I have put together a program for some other kids for when they're at home. 

00:14:16 Melanie 

It's kind of like a... a whole visual binder sort of thing that shows them an activity that they can do and then a little reward afterwards, even if you need just 5 minutes to yourself or you have other kids that need your attention. 

00:14:32 Melanie 

So I'm wondering... maybe I could put together a visual or something. And share that on the blog. 

00:14:39 Melanie 

So our blog is wellbalancedlife.ca and I will definitely post on our Facebook group, which is Well Balanced Life. 

00:14:50 Melanie 

I'll post on there and let you know when I have the the visual and the activity schedule posted, so that might help some of you who are going to have your kids at home all summer. 

00:15:02 Melanie 

Is there anything else you wanted to share? 

00:15:07 Grace 

I'll keep you posted if... if... if things get not boring. 

00:15:11 Melanie 

(Laughing) Let them know how you made some changes? 

00:15:13 Grace 

Yeah, yeah. 

00:15:14 Melanie 

OK. 

00:15:15 Melanie 

So we will definitely be back next week. 

00:15:17 Melanie 

I might actually, if I get a chance, I'll do an extra episode this week if possible. 

00:15:24 Melanie 

Sorry we weren't here last weekend. We planned on actually recording while we were away and I left the microphone at home! 

00:15:33 Melanie 

So that didn't work! 

00:15:34 Grace 

No! 

00:15:34 Melanie 

No. 

00:15:36 Melanie 

But we do plan to continue to be on every week and we really appreciate everyone listening. 

00:15:43 Melanie 

So thank you so much for all your support and don't forget. 

00:15:46 Grace 

To like, share and subscribe! 

00:15:48 Melanie 

(Laughing) You're not alone! 

00:15:53 Melanie 

We... We say that every week and Gracie like... Gracie says the same thing don't... share... 

00:15:57 Melanie 

Don't forget to what? 

00:15:58 Grace 

Like, share and subscribe. 

00:16:00 Melanie 

Yeah, and mine is, “You're not alone!” 

00:16:04 Melanie 

Talk to you soon! 

00:16:05 Melanie 

Thanks for listening!