Zombie Book Club

(PART 2) ZombieWeen Game Show 2024 | Zombie Book Club Podcast Ep 67

• Zombie Book Club • Season 2 • Episode 67

Share episode

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 53:59

What if you found yourself in a post-apocalyptic world with a zombie named Guillermo? Join us on a wild ride through the hilariously chaotic Zombieween Game Show 2024, where our contestants share their strategies for surviving with humor, creativity, and fart parties.

Sylvester Barzey Links:
https://sylvesterbarzey.com/
Buy Sylvester’s Books! https://76620d-2.myshopify.com/
https://www.instagram.com/sylvesterbarzey/


Laurie Calcaterra Links:
Path of the Pale Rider https://pathofthepalerider.wpcomstaging.com/
https://www.instagram.com/lauriecalcaterra


Nailah King Links:
Read The Decentres
Join the Black Horroritage Challenge
Support me on Ko-fi


Jack Callaghan Links:
Zombie Nerd and the Half-Term Harrowing: https://www.amazon.com/Zombie-Nerd-Half-Term-Harrowing-Callaghan/dp/1916756042
https://www.instagram.com/jackcallaghanauthor/


Jayel Draco & Lynsey G
Oneshi Press https://www.oneshipress.com/
MR. GUY: ZOMBIE HUNTER Website: https://mrguycomic.com
Zombie Adoption Program: https://www.instagram.com/adoptionzombie/


Jo Salazar:
Website: https://www.josalazarwriting.com/
Buy the The Dead Weight
https://www.instagram.com/_jo_salazar_ 

Support the show




Zombie Book Club Links

Zombie Ween Game Show 2024

Speaker 1

Based on how much time we have left . We'll either have one more round , based on the three people that are left , or we'll have a semifinal and a final , and that will depend on where we're at with time . Sound good to everybody ?

Speaker 2

Yeah .

Speaker 1

Okay . Is everybody hanging on . Yeah , how are people's energy levels doing ?

Speaker 3

I don't know any of what you just said . I don't know , jack , I love you and you're far enough away from me where you don't know where .

Speaker 1

I live . Okay , my loves , my darlings , my zombesties , we are back , welcome back . Welcome back everyone to the zombieween game show 2024 . This is the second episode . I'm leah and I'm your host , with all the ghosts and I'm dan and I um I'm uh you're grasping desperately to the material plane of existence .

Speaker 1

I am , yeah , thank you , you're welcome . First , in this episode we're going to reintroduce all of our contestants , including the two who are a power couple who , uh , thought that this was on mountain time and not eastern time . They've joined us . Then we will have we'll have a wild card round and then I will decide randomly if we will have two more rounds or one , depending on how much time we have . At the end of the day , we will have two or three . We'll find out people battling it out for the ultimate zombie ween crown and the eliminated contestants . Everybody else who's here gets to vote for the ultimate winner . So stay tuned . You get to have arbitrary opinions , just like the rest of us .

Speaker 2

Yeah , emphasis on the arbitrary , totally arbitrary .

Speaker 1

Ultimately , the contestant who impresses their peers with the most creativity , humor and strategy will get that crown on Lori's head , or Lori gets to keep it , and there's also a pick of a special , possibly terrible , prize at the end that the winner gets to pick .

Speaker 1

it is definitely terrible so , contestants , have fun , be silly , be serious . Feel free to break the rules , like you already just did in the last episode , because there aren't any , and I am officially making this up as I go but just make sure everybody has space to shine in their beautiful , zombasty ways . Let the zombie ween showdown begin .

Speaker 2

Sound effects .

Speaker 1

DJ Khaled . We're going to kick off this episode with a shameless self-promotion icebreaker , or brain breaker as I like to call them . You're going to introduce yourself , what you want to promote and answer this question . In the post-apocalyptic world , your book , your comic series is one of a very few accessible records left from the before times . Survivors turn to it not just for knowledge , but for hope and guidance . What's the one crucial lesson or tip from your creative works that would help someone stay alive in this new zombie infested world ? And we are going to start off with the folks who just got here JL and Lindsay . Please introduce yourself , what you want to promote and answer this question .

Speaker 4

Well , hi , I'm Lindsay . I'm the editor in chief of Oneshi Press .

Speaker 5

I'm JL . I am the lead illustrator and designer of Oneshi Press . I guess we can both answer this separately .

Speaker 4

Yeah .

Speaker 5

Yeah , ok , so I would say from the book that I am finishing now , which should be out to market hopefully within a month or two um , our kickstarter backers will , of course , get it first . But , mr guy , zombie hunter act three , the last of it , teaches us a very important lesson . When you are in the zombie apocalypse and you've been deep in it for a while , you start to miss the creature comforts of your old life . And , no matter how tempted you may be , if you find an old bag of cheese noms , don eat them , just don't . You're better off getting fresh , you know whatever you can forage , than eating an old bag of cheese noms from the before times there's a consequence we don't know about yet that we gotta wait for it in episode

Speaker 1

three , chapter three .

Speaker 4

Okay , good to know , lindsey , what's your answer uh , so I guess I will choose a different series , since he just gave us some advice from Mr Guy . So I'll go with Tracy Queen , which is a series that I write , which is about an adult star who develops a cyborg clone army to protect herself , aka take over the world . So I think that my zombie apocalypse advice from the world of tracy queen would probably be if you meet a talking raccoon stealing your drugs , become friends with the raccoon because that raccoon is going to come in majorly handy .

Speaker 4

not only does the raccoon have little hands and have knowledge that you're not privy to , because he is in fact an animal that you are not , he's just a really good companion , and you can get away with a lot of stuff when you just pretend that he's just a raccoon and has no idea what he's doing . So that's my advice .

Speaker 1

I kind of love that . I had a pet raccoon . That was a stuffed animal named bandit as a child , so I love that , lori .

Speaker 3

Lori , you're up . Uh , hello everybody . I am laurie calcaterra , fruit ninja , reigning zombie wing queen from last year , and , uh , I am the writer , creator of the apocalypse western series path of the pale rider . Um , where zombies have rights and we ask lots of ethical questions . Um , in the post-apocalyptic world , one thing that you should do from my story is learn sign language . Sound will get you killed , because right around that corner is an undead bear taking up the whole road , and if you do anything to wake him up , god help you , because you can't kill it and you can't run , and you can't climb trees and it can swim . How do you get away from those things ? So , instead of communicating verbally , learn some sign language . It's great for swearing at people who don't understand sign language as well . They have no idea . You just call them a douchebag .

Speaker 1

Excellent tip , naila tell us who you are , what you want to promote and what your lesson or tip would be in the world of a zombie apocalypse from your book . So I'm Naila . I'm a horror writer . I write about haunted women being pushed to the brink . I'm promoting my Instagram . I don't think anyone would be any of my characters would be in a post-apocalyptic world just because they again do not have that much will to survive . I think the advice from the books that I write would be to be more open about binaries like alive and dead , ghost and not a ghost , and just be a little bit more open about those types of things . Get you farther in that world . That is very intriguing , I've got to say jack hello , my name is jack callahan .

Speaker 7

I'm the author of zombie nerd on the half-term harrowing and zombie nerd and the strange case of the robot exchange student , which is coming out very , very soon , and I write stuff that you've never heard before . So thank you very much , and I don't know what else to say .

Speaker 2

I mean , we've heard of some of those things , except for the new thing , that's just coming out now .

Speaker 1

Have a Robot Exchange Student on your side in the zombie apocalypse . That's the advice that I think I'm gleaning from your intro , jack sylvester all right , hello , I am sylvester farzi .

Speaker 6

I am a horror author . You guys can't see the crown , but I would look good in it . And , um , since we're all here for zombies , I am here to plug planet dead , which are currently right now , it's a three book series with some novellas , but I think the number one thing katherine would probably bestow upon you is to trust no one except for family . Found family counts , but you know you gotta wait to see if they make it to book two yeah that is very , very true .

Speaker 1

I feel like we need to write these down as , like the however many of us , there are commandments of the zombie apocalypse .

Speaker 8

Last but not least , Joe , hi everyone , I'm Joe Salazar . I am the author of the brand new book the Dead Weight 12 girls in the zombie apocalypse . Who will survive ? Who is the dead weight ? Um , so I think that god , gods , help us if anyone picks up this book as as a guide for surviving the zombie apocalypse , because the lesson that they will learn is if they're not us , they don't matter we're all in trouble .

Speaker 1

That's intense .

Speaker 2

Lying , murder , all good things .

Speaker 1

Depends on who you are , I guess .

Zombie Apocalypse Power Couples Chat

Speaker 1

Well , we are incredibly happy to have you all here . Jl and Lindsay , again welcome . Thank you for joining us at 1.30pm Mountain Time . We adore you . You are just in time to possibly swoop in and be the wildcard contestants . This is our wildcard round . Right now , we have finalists Lori Calcaterra and Sylvester Barzy . There is one more slot to be had , or possibly not . I'm going to make that up later . Possibly not , I don't know . I don't know if we have time .

Speaker 2

I didn't know about that part . I believe we're gonna have a final three , but I might change my mind , because I can .

Speaker 1

Um , I promised chaos at the beginning of this , and it truly is so this is abound because we have jl and lindsey coming the first time , I'm going to have you all answer the wild card round question first and I'm going to read your wrestler intro , because it cannot be missed in this uh beautiful game show . You're all gonna have a peek into my hyper organized world . Oh , my goodness , there we go . There we go , all right and from the corner of mountain time , roaring out of the dark like a pair of cheesed off chickens , the dynamic , dynamic duo of Lindsay , doom , beast G and JL , the aspic mancer , draco , co-founders of Oneshi Press and Zombie Apocalypse Power Couple . Together they'll hack through hordes of the undead and create a community of survivors so functional you'll be super glad you were born to be a part of it . Please welcome Lindsay and JL to the house just in time for the wildcard round .

Speaker 5

Yay the house just in time for the wild card round . Yay , mountain sounds glad we could make it . We are very happy you're here . You know we had to fight our way through the hordes to get here . That's what we call mountain time fighting our way through the hordes hordes of undead bison .

Speaker 1

Yeah , what's worse an undead bison or an undead bear bear uh , if it's a grizzly bear yeah , I might go I might

Speaker 5

go bison but , a black bear bison definitely wins heard of bison sounds terrifying .

Speaker 1

all right , this is the question for you . All other than our wonderful laurie and sylvester , who are going to judge and decide who will join them as the third contestant ? You're alone and sad . It's the zombie apocalypse In your shelter is a fully contained and restricted zombie that you decide to keep as a friend . What do you name them and what would you talk about ? I'm going to give you 30 seconds . Jl and Lindsay , you're going to be up first with your answer . 30 seconds to deliberate everybody .

Speaker 5

Ding , ding , ding . You're up , Pencils down . So , first off , obviously we named them Guillermo , and we talk about grunts , groans , aspic doom and the food weakness .

Speaker 1

Can you explain aspic for the audience again , for those who maybe still don't know what it is ? Can you ?

Speaker 5

explain aspic for the audience again , for those who maybe still don't know what it is . Aspic is a medieval invention that allowed meat products to be saved and stored in cold storage by gelatinizing their juices around them . So this way it's keeping the meat safe from oxygen , which keeps it preserved longer . We saw a huge resurgence of this with the advent of Jell-O and Tupperware in the 70s , so that has since died down .

Speaker 2

Ew , that has since died down because ew , a major resurgence of aspic .

Speaker 5

Uh , due to folks like jiggle daddy ken abala , who has written many , many books about it and is a food professor . So what we have with aspic is both cursed and blessed aspic . So when we get into cursed aspic , Wow , we have talked .

Speaker 1

This is your special interest , JL . I've got a follow up . Lindsay , would you feed your friend Guillermo an aspic set of brains ? Would you go out and get food for Guillermo and make it into aspic to preserve it ?

Speaker 4

I don't think I would go that far . I think I might bring him stuff , but I don't . I don't think I'd be preserving brains . I'm . I don't eat meat , so that would be just like the grossest thing I could possibly do .

Speaker 5

I would do that for for Lindsay and Guillermo , though , though , because I mean , you got to think about it you have one brain . You need to preserve that so that you can portion it out and you know , help Guillermo metabolize slowly over time and not all at once , and then starve .

Speaker 1

Whose brain would you feed Guillermo ?

Speaker 5

Whoever messed with us Raiders . I hate the idea of raiders . In the apocalypse , I'm going to say this Survival of the friendliest . If you're a raider , you're going to meet your doom quickly . If you think taking from other people is going to help you survive , you're sorely mistaken . The only people that are going to survive are people that can collaborate , come together , form , you know , strong unifications , and so anyone that's a raider , guillermo food .

Speaker 1

Yeah , everybody else is aspic , that is a good rule . Okay , we have . Oh , oh , sorry , go ahead .

Speaker 5

I was just going to say it's worth mentioning . Blessed aspic is a thing . There is some really gorgeous and delicious savory aspects out there .

Speaker 4

I just wanted to throw that in . It's not all cursed . Get on Google right now .

Speaker 6

I think I might go with the baked beans . Now I was wondering .

Speaker 1

There was a lot of bean discussion and a fart party . Uh , that you missed jl lindsey , so maybe you're probably happy you missed that , the fart or you want to be in the fart party all right , naela , what would you name your zombie friend and what would you talk about ?

Speaker 1

um , well , speaking of special interests , I would call them mini leaks from the real housewives of atlanta , and then would because I'm lonely , I need something that I can yap about . So we would talk about Meanie's impact on the entire Real Housewives franchise . That would take years , so I feel like that's what I would do . What , specifically , are you hoping that she would get out of that conversation ? What am I hoping she would ?

Speaker 7

get out of it or even you .

Speaker 1

What would you ? Yeah , what would be the takeaway after the many years of discussion ? I mean , I guess , if we're going really deep , that like no , there's people that we like watch and people we engage with and like really great storytellers across like many different mediums , be it reality TV , be it books that like really stick with you , that you probably want to think about when you have the time or when you're like lonely . That's like a good point of connection . I wasn't expecting to get that deep , but , yeah , I think that's my answer Be silly , be serious , I love it .

Speaker 2

Are you and your zombie friend going to watch the Real Housewives together ?

Speaker 1

I mean ideally , that's like I mean I always assumed . The reason why I would never try to survive as a zombie apocalypse is because , like , I would lose access to my favorite things , including , like reality TV , which is not like high on that list well , like , it's definitely like top 30 . Yeah it's hard to find physical copies of Real Housewives yeah , it's not like there's like a box set of the Real Housewives of Atlanta . There's like a box set of the real housewives of Atlanta . There's like 16 seasons , yeah .

Speaker 2

Somebody has it , somebody has to have a box set of it .

Speaker 1

Someone needs to hire it and apparently , I think because of like the way streaming's going and like getting physical media back , I think potentially that is , that is something that's in the future for sure . Yeah .

Speaker 1

Cause you always talk about how they want like access to like longer series is , but like real housewives has like way more than regular tv . So it's like if you need something to watch for like forever , then that's a good option . That is a great option . I also got to say , as a fellow reality tv lover , although I'm currently on 90 day fiance happily ever after binge . Um , it makes me really sad to think of a world where I can't watch those things . We need to preserve these cultural like arc uh , what's the word ? I'm looking for artifacts , cultural artifacts in case of the apocalypse I'm imagining and it actually makes me a better storyteller by watching these people's mess .

Speaker 1

So I'm like I feel like my storytelling would be impacted if I didn't have access to women yelling at each other every week . So in the in the acknowledgments in your book , you're gonna , you're gonna give some love to uh , what's her name again , mimi , mimi . Well , mimi really is like the like blueprint for really anybody . I feel like it's just like all the good tropes and all the good archetypes are on that show , like it's just if I was running a creative writing class , that's what we would watch in class .

Speaker 2

We're tagging her on this episode for sure , I feel that I'm not like the huge the biggest , I was going to say hugest , because I'm a writer . I'm not the biggest reality TV fan , but I found that watching reality TV with Leah , watching reality tv , sheet tv with with leah , I I am getting a lot of inspiration from watching this drama play out amongst mostly real people supposedly I sometimes I question .

Speaker 1

I say mostly real I feel like salt lake city's , like iteration two is like , would be great for the zombie apocalypse writers in the room , like I feel like there's a lot there . Yeah , that's good to watch because of like the mormon background and like everything that's going on on that show . I feel like that's like that's like future viewing for any like zombie apocalypse watchers . Again , there's some good stuff in there , but I think I would have to pick a special topic that I could yap about for as long as possible , and that's going to be it every time . I think that's very wise . And now I know what I'm going to watch when I'm mourning the loss of Happily Ever After , because I'm getting close to the end of those seasons . Joe , who would your zombie bestie be ? What would you name them ? What would you talk about ?

Speaker 8

I think I have to submit a protest vote for this one . I am not keeping this thing alive , I'm killing it immediately . This is a bad idea . This is a setup . This is how things go wrong in the zombie apocalypse . And not only that , but I feel like looking at a zombie all day . I'm going to feel sadder and lonelier . So I'm just going to end it .

Speaker 2

You wouldn't want somebody to talk to about how sad that zombie makes you feel .

Speaker 8

No , because I'm going to have okay if we're going to go with hyper fixation here . I would rather be alone with my Taylor Swift albums and just sing songs all day alone by myself , and I'm okay with that

Zombie Apocalypse Moral Dilemma

Speaker 8

.

Speaker 2

What if you find a zombie that's also a Swifty ?

Speaker 8

Are they going to sing on key ? That's a problem for me , absolutely not , but they's a problem for them ?

Speaker 2

Absolutely not , but they have like a Taylor Swift shirt . They have some great dance moves , even if it's not to any specific rhythm or makes any sense , but they get down .

Speaker 1

Could you bring ?

Speaker 2

yourself to kill a .

Speaker 1

Swifty .

Speaker 8

Oh gosh , that actually is a really tough question , because I um I'm gonna honor a swifty every time they , they can stay outside , but they can't come in the shelter . They , they have to stay outside .

Speaker 1

You're like my dad with our dogs as a kid . Okay , I get it . Oh , that makes me sad . Lori , I saw you put your hand up . Did you want to comment on this ?

Speaker 3

No , Well , I was just going to ask in your mind , is this zombie actually talking to you or , again , are they just being like cranberry in response to your singing ? Because , again , if they're not actually like talking to you on a human level , then , yeah , I would kill it too .

Speaker 8

Yeah , in my mind , the zombie in question here is just completely brainless and not communicative , not sentient at all .

Speaker 1

All right , sylvester , you don't get to go and Lori you don't get to go . I'm looking at my list of people , so , last but never least , never ever least , he thought way too much about this Callahan . What is that me ?

Speaker 7

or Sylvester no , you me . I don't think that we have to . In my zombie world , there is no such thing as anything that comes between anything and comes between anything and anything between , as it were . I'm just reading the things .

Speaker 3

Jack wasn't paying attention for the last 15 minutes .

Speaker 1

Yeah , he wasn't . Jack , it's late for you and Naila . I think Naila has better lighting . I'm sure it's helping .

Speaker 7

Yeah , go to Naila , it'll help . No , naila , I think Naila has better lighting . I'm sure it's helping . Yeah , go to Naila .

Speaker 1

It'll help ?

Speaker 7

No , Naila already went .

Speaker 6

You're the last one .

Speaker 7

Yeah , go to Naila , it'll help .

Speaker 1

Apparently , you're getting two answers . Naila , do you have another bonus round ? My answer for Jack I don't know , he'd probably name it Lagoon .

Speaker 3

Ayla , do you ?

Speaker 1

have another bonus round . My answer for Jack yeah , I don't know . He'd probably name it Legume and they would have great conversations about beans . I don't know , that's perfect , I guess , if I had a second person to name . I don't know , maybe some sort of Caribbean mythological creature or something . Maybe Papa Boyce , who's supposed to be the boss of the forest , asked them some questions , I don't know . Connect with an ancestor ?

Speaker 6

Yeah , that's a deep .

Speaker 1

Wait , Sylvester , what'd you say ?

Speaker 6

Oh no , I just laughed , I enjoyed that you know .

Speaker 2

that's a great answer for Jack . Great job .

Speaker 1

Everybody give Jack love . Yay , sylvester and I were both like beans .

Speaker 3

We're like go around .

Speaker 7

Well , no , it doesn't make sense . It says you're alone and sad in the zombie apocalypse . In your shelter is a fully contained and restricted zombie that you decide to keep as your friend . What the fuck does that mean ?

Speaker 3

It means you're by yourself and you have a zombie friend yeah , nobody else .

Speaker 1

Have you seen Cast Away have ? You seen Shaun of the Dead Of course .

Speaker 6

I've seen Shaun of the Dead . Yeah , that's his friend . He keeps his friend in the shed .

Speaker 7

Where is the noun in that ? Go on carry on , oh no , oh , no , oh , go on , carry on . I'm not even listening .

Speaker 1

It's only 30 minutes left , so it is okay . You can be here for the good times and the beans , the legumes , as Naila very beautifully said . I do love a legume . They're so good for you .

Speaker 2

Oh yeah , I like to tell people that things are legumes when they are definitely not .

Speaker 1

Like what .

Speaker 2

Like a grapefruit .

Speaker 1

Okay , we're going to stay on track because I feel like this could get really off . What is going on ? I think we're all getting loopy because this is a marathon .

Speaker 2

People believe me every time that's really sad .

Speaker 1

They're like I didn't know grapefruits were legumes . Did you know a tomato is a fruit ?

Speaker 2

Actually it's a legume . I just learned that pumpkins are a berry , but raspberries and blackberries and strawberries are not .

Speaker 5

Also , bananas are berries . What and ?

Speaker 1

strawberries are not . Also , bananas are berries . What ?

Speaker 3

That is true .

Speaker 2

Alright , we're moving on to the wildcard round . This was the wildcard round .

Speaker 1

I mean the judgment , the judgment day .

Speaker 3

The judge .

Speaker 2

Sylvester , this wildcard round .

Speaker 1

Sylvester , I'm sorry , I feel like we keep talking over what did you say ?

Speaker 6

Oh no , I just laughed .

Speaker 1

Every time I ask you what you said , if you just say I just laughed , it's going to get better and better .

Zombie Ween Game Show Finale

Speaker 1

Yeah , dan , it's up to Dan ultimately to make this decision . Yes , but Lori , sylvester , you have potentially a lot of influence here . So , sylvester , you have potentially a lot of influence here . So , sylvester , what are your thoughts ? Who do you think should be in the finale with you ?

Speaker 6

Honestly , I'm born between Real Housewives and just murdering the zombie , because this is a setup . It's a setup . I think I'll let everybody else decide and then I'll go with the majority . Okay , that's very brave of you .

Speaker 3

My vote is Nyla , because she gave two answers and the legume shit for Jack's answer was just funny . So my vote is for Nyla All right ?

Speaker 2

Well , you know , I've consulted , consulted with these judges . You may have heard it , it happened right now but ultimately it's my choice and I choose and I can choose to ignore everyone's advice and I'm gonna go with nyla because I think that was a genuinely good answer . It made me want to watch the Real Housewives and I have never said that we do need a box set .

Speaker 6

We need the box set get on Amazon right now .

Speaker 2

Find the box set of Real Housewives all the seasons .

Speaker 1

I'll do that and add the extra lagoons to my cart . Yeah , that was yeah , that was the fart party cart . That was yeah , that was from the fart party .

Speaker 3

I don't know , I think the fart party happened and everybody's brain derailed . The train is off the track , everybody the train is off .

Speaker 1

I'm going to steer us back . Got a little bit of time left . It is the finale . We're going to do it best out of three questions with a extra special finale question , and I just want to take a moment to say thank you to Jack , to Joe , to JL and Lindsay and to Dan . Am I missing somebody here , me ?

Speaker 2

You're thanking me , are you ?

Speaker 3

kicking Dan off the show . Yes , go away .

Speaker 1

Oh no , you all are the judges . So this is what I'm about to say to you , those of you who are not in the finale you are going to be responsible , by a healthy debate , and then vote for who will be the 2024 zombie wiener , the biggest wiener of them all . Are you ready for that very serious responsibility , folks , ready , wait ?

Speaker 2

I get to vote too .

Speaker 1

No , no , wait for that very serious responsibility folks ready ?

Speaker 5

wait , I get a vote too . No , no wait , do lindsey and I get one vote or two I'm gonna say one oh you can have two if you vote for me wait , this is uh

Speaker 1

this is sylvester laughing there's no fraud at the polls here . All right , we don't do that zombie ween Show , even though everything else is completely unfair and arbitrary . It is time for the Zombie Ween Game Show showdown between reigning zombie queen from 2023, . Lori Calcaterra has a chance to continue to hold that crown , but it could also be coming in hot Sylvester Barzy middle name redacted , possibly going to snatch it . And last but not least , we have Naila King , winner of the wildcard round , here for the finale . There will be three questions . We are going to listen to them , answer their questions and then have a final deliberation and a vote based on the holistic results of their answers . Everybody good to go ? Yep , beautiful . Okay , I'm ready . Your bouncy castle zombie bunker is destroyed . Which do you choose for your new shelter ? A horror maze or a perpetually moving Ferris wheel ? You've got 30 seconds to think about this and you have to justify your answer . It's all you , sylvester .

Speaker 6

What do you choose ? So I feel like I would probably be dead if my bouncy house got destroyed . But just assuming I'm not , I'm going to go with the Ferris wheel . I feel like that would be a nice little thing that I can secure , and I'll just watch the city and watch the zombies . Maybe I'll poke a few every time I'm down . But yet a horror maze . Uh , that's , that's a trap . Someone's gonna pop out . We're gonna die .

Speaker 2

I'm gonna go with the fears now um , it is , it is perpetually moving , so it's , it's still still rotating . Yeah , so you can rest for a couple minutes at a time , but then it comes down to the bottom . Do you have a plan for when you get to the bottom ?

Speaker 6

I feel like , if , oh , so is it like an open door ? Yeah , or do I get to close the door ?

Speaker 2

Oh , it's an open door . It's like the bench that you sit on , with the bar in front of you .

Speaker 6

Oh no , I thought we were talking about the one in Atlanta . We should have described it yes , the one in Atlanta is like a closed-in box .

Speaker 2

Okay , let's say it's the closed-in one .

Speaker 6

Yeah , that's fair , that was even where you're imagining it , but it's a convertible .

Speaker 2

It has the umbrella on top , but it's still open air . But the bottom part is enclosed so it does have a little door . We're still faster . This is hard . It does have like a little door we're still faster .

Speaker 6

This is hard , you know . I guess if I had a machete or a nice weapon I could handle this , or I could use the debris from my bouncy house and try and seal off this opening .

Speaker 2

I'm still going with the Ferris wheel . The bouncy house landed on the Ferris wheel .

Speaker 1

I kind of love that . Okay Sounds about right . That's why you're still alive .

Speaker 2

You can crash the Ferris wheel . The bouncy house landed on the ferris wheel . I kind of love that . Okay sounds about right . That's why you're still alive . You can crash the ferris wheel laurie , which do you choose ?

Speaker 1

horror maze oh or ferris wheel .

Speaker 3

I'm in the horror maze 100 . I'm trip wiring that thing , I'm booby trapping that thing , I'm putting fake walls so I can go in between and of course I know , uh , you know , people are coming in . It's setting off the the horror maze . You know , I was like a thing at the entrance so it's motion censored , right , right . So I'm in there for sure , and , if need be , I have a ladder I'm climbing out yeah , what if ?

Speaker 2

but what if you get duped by your own maze ? Like you get into the mirror section oh , there's a mirror section . I Like you get into the mirror section oh , there's a mirror section . I mean , they gotta have the mirror section , the part that you go through . That's like all punching bags that you run through . I love it .

Speaker 3

Well one you'd want to memorize the maze Right , that's true . Two you'd want to make sure that you know the way through and that way you have other like you want to pull down things behind you , so you would distract whoever's chasing you . If it's people or zombies , it's a distraction , so they don't have it memorized you do . Also , I want to tie in last year's show . We can use the call and answer in the maze , so if you're coming in and you're singing Little Mermaid songs , I know you're a part of my crew . Okay , can you ?

Speaker 1

give us a little , uh , since I have no ability to sing .

Speaker 7

There we go .

Speaker 1

I didn't know you were a singer oh , yeah , well , okay , last but not least , naila what would you choose ?

Speaker 1

So I would also use . I would also choose the whore maze , not for reasoned logic reasons , more like for toddler reasons . I feel like being on a constant moving Ferris wheel just sounds like nausea waiting to happen . But in perpetuity I don't like that Horror maze . There's definitely protective things that you could do , but I also feel like that death would be more fun for me than being on a perpetual Ferris wheel puking for eternity . So that's my reason . Um , I think a horror maze would be just like more fun for the person doing my eulogy and you know , I just think it would be . It would just be better for everybody involved .

Speaker 1

I don't want to be on like a turning thing it just sounds like I'm signing up to be cold rotisserie chicken , like there's just something about that .

Speaker 2

I don't like that . You make a lot of really good points .

Speaker 1

Yeah , for the toddler reasons , I feel like people could see you , yeah , but I would say you always like start in Ayala . You're like , oh , this is going to make no sense , and then you make excellent sense . You're one of those people who pretends you don't know how to play poker and then sweeps the room . I feel like this is what's happening . Okay , you're not judging , sorry y'all , that's happening later . What is the first song on your zombie fighting playlist ? Optional ? Sing some of the lyrics or hum the tune for maximum effect . You have 30 seconds to think about this .

Speaker 7

How did you not get ?

Speaker 1

me to do this one . Jack , if you're free to stay after , you can do your version . We'll have a little bonus round . Oh , dear Naila , you're first . I don't know . I feel like I'm torn between a silly option , like a silly fun option , and a practical option . So naturally I'm going to pick the silly option . I kind of feel like the Goosebumps theme would be great Copyright infringing , but great and uh , can you hum a little bit for us or sing it ? I mean , it's is , is it ? I don't think there are lyrics , but it's like the do , do , do , do , do , oh , right see , I don't remember .

Speaker 2

That's why I need a little bit of a reframe all I could think of was the inspector gadget theme song inspector Inspector .

Speaker 1

Gadget adjacent there's a copyright claim there . I'm not a musician , but you know Everybody who knows the Goosebump theme . Can you just do a real quick , come off mute and let me know how it sounds . Anybody else know ?

Speaker 5

That's Inspector Gadgets beautiful answer .

Speaker 1

I clearly need to go back and watch Goosebumps for some nostalgia reasons .

Speaker 3

Lori , I'm going to go full on NSYNC . Bye , bye , bye . I thought this is the one question where I thought a lot about it and I was like do I do everybody's kung fu fighting ? Do I do everybody's Kung Fu fighting ? Do I do ?

Zombie Apocalypse Musical Song Selection

Speaker 3

I almost did ? George Michael , I will be your father figure . That's a good one , cause I'm I'm your daddy , right , if we're fighting the zombie apocalypse , I'm your daddy now . But we're going to do I'm doing this tonight . I'll be going to start a fight in this tonight . I'll be gonna start a fight . Yeah , I know this can't be right here . Baby , come on , sing with me , I can totally see it .

Speaker 1

I only know the chorus bye , bye , bye , bye , bye .

Speaker 2

Somebody else sing it better than me is there a choreography that goes along with your zombie fighting ?

Speaker 3

yeah , I mean like if you've all seen the last Deadpool , we know that you can fight to this song too . Right , I haven't Right Like . I've loved you endlessly when you weren't there for me , so I know it's time to leave and make it alone . Like it actually works pretty good .

Speaker 2

It is kind of an apocalypse song yeah .

Speaker 1

Also talking NSYNC in this .

Speaker 2

Or whoever wrote that song . Does NSYNC have social ?

Speaker 1

media . It's a good question . Somebody find that out while we're doing this .

Speaker 3

I know that I can't take no more . It ain't no lie . I could keep going . Please don't .

Speaker 1

We'll get sued .

Speaker 5

Please stop , lloyd . Can judges answer for no points ? Just like an honorary answer .

Speaker 1

Bonus round you , JL Lindsay Jack , if you want to stay after we have the official awardee . Absolutely , sylvester , it's great uh .

Speaker 6

So I feel like I just want to have fun with it , and the number one song that's kind of like all on all my horror list is terror time from uh . Was it um scooby-doo ? Was it Scooby Doo on Zombie Island ?

Speaker 2

Oh my God , I know that song .

Speaker 6

Terror time again .

Speaker 2

That was an incredible song .

Speaker 6

Yes , my diet , yeah , I love that song .

Speaker 1

No , keep going , keep going . Sylvester , I'm grooving .

Speaker 6

Oh , okay , so it's terror time again ? There's no , I really don't know the words .

Speaker 2

Yeah , it has , like it has vibes , for sure it's good .

Speaker 6

Yeah , yeah , it has , like it has vibes for sure . It's good .

Speaker 2

Yeah , I feel like I can kill zombies to it and reminisce on my childhood . Oh , that's always nice . Also , I imagine myself eating a comically sized po-boy sandwich to that song oh yes , they always made food look so good .

Speaker 1

Well , folks , we are on to the final showdown question . Also , we're going to be making a Spotify playlist from this , so whoever wants to stay after we decide who the wiener is , what a playlist we will . Anyone else who wants to give their song can . But for right now , let me reshare my screen . It was really hard for me not to sing along with the bye , bye , bye , but I know that my voice would just make everyone run away . Okay , here is your final question . Sylvester Nayila and Lori , it's the final zombie showdown . Most of your characters have died or become zombies , so death is not broken here . Lori , sorry , in this world and the last few survivors , your fellow eliminated contestants , jack , joe , jl and Lindsay , are all that stand between the horde and your total destruction . Your community is on the brink . Give us your best impromptu , motivational speech to rally them for one final stand against the incoming zombies . You have 30 seconds .

Speaker 2

Think about it 30 seconds to write a speech .

Speaker 1

I'm going to count because I don't have the timer in my head .

Speaker 2

I love that it looks like we have people writing in the actual speech 10 , 9 , 8 , 7 , 6 , 5 , 4 , 3 , 2 .

Speaker 1

Laurie , you're up , inspire us uh , laurie , you're on mute okay , I'm ready .

Speaker 3

Sons of Gondor , wait , I can do this better . Sons of zombie land , hold your ground . I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me . A day may come when the courage of men fails . Fails , we will forsake our friends and break our bonds of fellowship . But today , today is not that day , an hour of wolves and shattered shields when the age of men comes crashing down . But it is not that day . This day , we fight by all that you hold dear on this good earth . I bid you stand , men and women of Zombieland .

Speaker 1

We have cheering . Jack is clearly here for it .

Speaker 7

And come on , there's more . There's like three lines .

Speaker 3

Yeah , I'm not . Do you want me to ? Oh , is there more ? The day does not belong to one man , but to all . I was like do you want me to keep going ? Let us share together , rebuild this world that we may share in the days of peace go , go , go go .

Speaker 7

That's where it's at that was beautiful .

Speaker 2

We got like 10 minutes left , guys , alright and then also do the part where the eagles come and save the hobbits wait , and there we go off .

Speaker 1

We go order in the wrestling ring . Order in the wrestling ring Naila give us Laurie .

Speaker 7

I want to marry you .

Zombie Apocalypse Survival Speeches

Speaker 1

I don't think I would give there wouldn't be any relational speech . I think I would give there wouldn't be any motivational speech . I think I would say that like there is , like there's only like and , and they would continue on in another plane . They would see their ancestors Like I would be very teen like death you know death is just an extension of what we're doing Like that's just another realm . But I would never like yeah , I don't think I would do like a big motivational , like being a live speech , at least in my world in the way , like that , my characters , so it's just , it's okay to die , everybody dies yeah , everybody dies yeah like , I've really enjoyed I mean the sort of version would be .

Speaker 1

It would would be like that sometimes , right .

Speaker 2

Really enjoyed this about all of your answers , Naila is that a lot of people look at the zombie apocalypse and are like , how would I survive ? And you're kind of like , let's just die , Become ancestors .

Speaker 6

Do you really have to ?

Speaker 1

Yeah , I think your new nickname Naila for your wrestler name is Nail is naela nihilist king .

Speaker 3

That's what I'm coining .

Speaker 1

Yeah , like , what are we ? What are we doing all this for sylvester ? You gotta round us out .

Speaker 6

What's your motivational speech okay , I say acts , not what the group can do for you , but what you can do for the group . Your friends and family are walking among the dead . They were good and honorable people .

Speaker 2

So let's go shoot them in the head . Love , that rhymed . Thank you , Wow you really had me feeling things there for a second , I'll go shoot your family .

Speaker 1

This is the moment , folks . I don't know how you're going to choose . This is why it's out of mine and Dan's hands , unless there is a tie . There are two parts to this . We're going to take just a couple minutes if folks want to discuss the pros and cons of each person's speech , and who would rally us the most to keep fighting . Jack , where are you at with this ? What are the pros and cons ?

Speaker 7

Oh , I don't know the pros of what I'd like to say . Stand up , everybody . There's no need for a hero or anything like that . There's no need for anybody who wants to make you think that you are better than anybody else . This is your speech , jack . Am I speaking ?

Speaker 1

Yes .

Speaker 7

I'm looking at the one thing .

Speaker 1

I want your opinion on Naila Sylvester's and Laurie's speeches . It was a good speech . It was .

Speaker 7

I'm on board or on Laurie's speeches ? Oh , I don't know . Look at Laurie's speeches . Look at the way that she speaks , look at the way that she has this incredible way that she speaks and brings herself in front of us . Look how incredibly beautiful she is .

Speaker 6

Look at her and she is telling us the things that we need to know , the things that we need to bring to our hearts .

Speaker 1

I just feel like he proposed marriage , so I'm just saying that .

Speaker 7

Okay , she is standing there . She is standing there in her white clothes . Oh , how incredible .

Speaker 5

Legume is groaning in jealousy . Poor Legume is feeling so discarded .

Speaker 8

Yeah .

Speaker 5

Legume .

Speaker 8

JL and Lindsay .

Speaker 1

Jack , I know you could write a full soliloquy for Laurie right now , but we're going to give it over to JL and Lindsay to let us know what they think . We're not making votes , yet just pros and cons .

Speaker 5

So literally right before anyone answered , lindsay said the Gondor speech obviously it's like the Gondor speech . She is the lady of Numenor Jack , you are besmitten I do think , and we both agree , that Sylvester's speech was from the heart and truly motivating and threw in a bit of levity , which is always good for that post-battle tension , you know .

Speaker 4

Yeah , I think in the actual situation , Sylvester's speech would probably get me going . The most .

Speaker 1

So you're not okay with just saying it's okay to die .

Speaker 6

There's a fear of death here .

Speaker 4

That might depend on the situation .

Speaker 5

honestly , you know , I thought about it and . I had a whole speech worked out within seconds and it actually included that .

Speaker 4

So I mean . We're in accord though . Yeah we're still going with Sylvester .

Speaker 2

Naila's speech definitely opened my mind to other possibilities , definitely .

Speaker 1

Joe , tell us what you're thinking .

Speaker 8

Oh , I'm debating this one hard because I think that all three had really great qualities . I think Naila's , again , like Dan said , really took me to another option that I hadn't considered . I think Lori's delivery was really there . The content of Sylvester's speech again , I think it was pretty solid . So I'm really wavering between , like , delivery and content right here .

Speaker 1

Okay , this is gonna be really tough , but I just realized there's three votes here . We got Jack , jl , and Lindsay has a single vote . I'm so sorry y'all . You come in as a power couple and Joe I . What I'd like you to do is take a moment to deliberate , and I'd like you to write in the chat . Don't hit enter Jack , do not hit enter , hit enter . Just write the name , even though I know who you're gonna say okay , write the name in the chat and when you've written the name in the chat , give me a thumbs up . So I know . Okay , we've got a thumbs up from joe , thumbs up from jl and lindsey .

Speaker 1

Jack is your name in the chat . No , okay , we already know who you're . Okay , well , we're gonna , for the rest of you , reveal . You want to hit enter JL and Joe . You got Sylvester , sylvester . Oh , I'm so sorry , lori . I know , jack , you would have gone for Lori If you'd like to . How about , jack ? I'm going to make the request that you give a little extra love to Lori as our outgoing 2023 Zombieween Queen . She is handing over the crown to Sylvester .

Speaker 6

I want a crown . I thought we had another round .

Speaker 7

No , it's good . It's good for the . Why don't we get ?

Speaker 6

something awesome .

Speaker 7

I know we're all getting a shirt , so who cares ?

Speaker 1

I didn't even have to write my name in the chat . Perfect , I feel like you shared your victory speech , but do you have any final words for us ? Sylvester , as the 2024 zombie ween . Sylvester , as the 2024 zombie ween , biggest weiner king of them all , you have the crown . What would you like to say ?

Speaker 6

I'm going to bedazzle it and it's going to look beautiful . I'm going to have the best time . Cannot wait to see it . But I would like to say , as the new zombie king , that I did this all by myself . Thank you .

Speaker 1

Okay , well , you have one more choice , my friend to pick your prize . Which rundown house prize would you like to choose ?

Speaker 6

I'm going to go with two , because I got bad knees so I don't need stairs , so I'll go with that one .

Speaker 1

Okay , I forget what two is One second .

Speaker 2

I know what it's not .

Speaker 1

You have won oh no , a halloween decoration . This is exactly what it's called on . Amazon halloween decoration . Hanging head props . Scary hanging severed head . Life-size bloody latex zombie head for halloween party . Indoor , outdoor , bar , haunted house decor . Halloween decor props . Brackets B Congratulations .

Speaker 2

That's the name of it , if you want to look it up .

Speaker 1

How does it feel ? Are you excited to have your very own zombie head ?

Speaker 6

Oh yeah , the kids are going to love this .

Speaker 2

Also , how glad are you that you did not pick number one .

Speaker 6

I've seen that movie but I haven't watched it , but I've seen it .

Speaker 1

What's the movie Sylvester ?

Speaker 6

tell us what it's called zombie ass toilet of the dead no thank you .

Speaker 1

And then the other option was last year Lori got Goosh the zombie baby , blow up zombie baby , and this would have been a , a conjoined , twin conjoined twin .

Speaker 3

How big is that thing ?

Speaker 2

4 feet , just like Goosh .

Speaker 3

Okay , so it's not as big as it makes it look . Okay , that's fine .

Speaker 2

Yeah , the picture looks like it's as big as a house .

Speaker 3

Yeah , I was like , that thing is like 200 bucks .

Speaker 1

Oh , can everyone come off mute and join me in making groaning and whatever noise you'd like that you think a zombie could make to celebrate Sylvester the zombie king .

Speaker 3

Bradbury .

Speaker 5

DJ Khaled .

Speaker 6

This was the best apocalypse ever .

Speaker 1

Truly , we are honored to have you King . We now have a king and a queen of zombie ween . This is wonderful , but everybody is a weiner . There is a T-shirt waiting for you . If you're not a fan of a T-shirt , we're going to talk to you about options , because we want to give you some special love for spending three hours . Folks , uh , doing this recording with us staying alert , staying safe . Sometimes I feel like that's a psa I listen to is a stay alert , stay safe .

Speaker 8

I don't know what that was from but something but I just want to get savvy for a minute and say thank you .

Speaker 1

Everybody like um , oh no , I'm gonna get emotional , dan , and I've been doing this podcast for like a year and a half , something like that .

Speaker 2

Almost two , almost two years .

Speaker 1

Every single one of you is here because we have felt so very , very lucky to meet you and Naila . It's like my first time actually getting to interact with you not on a real , you know , not a real story back and forth and I just really adore all of you . That's all . I'm not going to get too mushy .

Speaker 1

I just think it's really cool , and the fact that you were willing to spend three hours with us three hours plus now to do this means a lot , and I had a lot of fun and this is like my favorite thing in the world , so thank you . So I'd just like to give everybody a round of applause . Cue applause , sound effects , yeah , applause , it was this one .

Speaker 1

I did it . I know we are right at time , but if anyone would like to share a brief reflection on their time on the zombie weaned game show , now is your moment .

Speaker 5

We were too brief . That's my reflection . This was fun I had fun .

Speaker 3

I want to read all of your stories . Send me links .

Speaker 1

Yeah , all of the information for folks will be in the show notes . Go ahead , Sylvester .

Speaker 6

As a group , we would survive together . I feel like we all had pretty good ideas .

Speaker 2

Unless we don't want to .

Speaker 6

Yeah , that's true , we could give up . It's good , that's very sweet Sometimes . Depending on how it is ?

Speaker 1

you just gotta let it go naela , I feel like you'd probably be okay with this decision , considering your your speech . I'm just proud to represent the people who are not trying to survive . You know , we're people too , people who are like peace .

Speaker 5

I'm really happy that I could give them a voice I love this it's , don't worry , we'll keep you as a pet in our shelter and feed your brain . Brain aspect I will I ? I'll talk to you about grunts and groans and foods , while feeding you brains in gelatin with a little spoon .

Speaker 8

This is why we love the zombie community .

Speaker 3

The consistency would be the same , isn't it like gelatinous brain anyway ? Yeah , but the gelatin helps keep the brain from breaking down for longer , so that I can portion it out that's what I , in my world , that brain would still be thinking inside of the jello so you'd be feeding it's a courtesy to the brain as well .

Speaker 5

The gelatin helps the brain stay in shape so it can think more efficiently so okay .

Speaker 3

So now we've just gone down a totally different thing , that you and I need to do about how we keep brains in gelatin so that they can think for us in the

Zombie Apocalypse Book Recommendations

Speaker 3

future .

Speaker 1

Yes , this is a whole other episode and we are past time , so I just want to say thank you everybody , so very , very much for being here and please go to the show notes . You can find everything you need to know about Jack Callahan , the zombie nerd , and the half term harrowing , his awesome YA novel . You can find Joe Salazar's the Dead Wait . I just finished it . It's impeccable information for there . Naila King , go follow their Instagram . They are going to be coming out with some very they are going to be coming out .

Speaker 1

They're going to be coming out with some really interesting women with a grudge which , honestly , I mean , what woman doesn't have a grudge ? I feel like with some horror and some ghosts in there . I'm waiting for it . Naila , go check out Mr Guy Zombie Hunter and Tracy Queen from JL and Lindsay's Oneshi Press , path of the Pale Rider from the epic , lori Calcaterra , and we can never forget the zombie ween king of 2024 planet dead by sylvester barzy . All the information will be in the show notes for you , thank you everybody so much cool .

Speaker 3

Brandon starachi , you're next .

Speaker 1

It's staraki , I just feel I always say it wrong and he never corrects me .

Speaker 3

I'm going to say it 17,000 wrong ways until he actually corrects me . I'm coming for you next , sir .

Speaker 2

This is why he was so happy that we got his name right .

Contributor

Dan

Host
Contributor

Leah

Host