482: Reading the Room at World Conference

CMAA World Conference is the Olympics of human behavior, the lobby is a safari, the bar is a documentary, and the expo hall is a very polite casino. In this quick Private Club Radio episode, Denny Corby shares simple, real world body language tips to help club professionals read people and read the room fast, so you can join the right conversations, help your friends join the right conversations, and escape the long ones without faking a phone call. You will learn how to gauge the vibe and energy before approaching a group, why feet and hips reveal engagement and exit signals, how to use eye contact and micro cues to know when it’s a good time to enter, and the classic tell, “when the lips disappear, trouble may be near,” plus how to pivot the conversation to avoid the pothole. Denny also shares why your circle matters, and how to use these skills to help friends who are stuck or trying to dip out. Bonus, visit Denny at Club Data Services Booth 403 on Thursday and Friday from 10:00 AM to noon to answer “5 Questions in 60 Seconds” for Private Club Radio content and get entered to win a pair of Ray Ban Meta glasses that Denny is giving away personally.

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Transcript

Welcome & Focus On Reading People

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Private Club Radio Show, the show where you get the scoop on life inside private golf and country clubs. I'm your host, Danny Corby, and each episode is a real conversation with club leaders, the pros, the people, and partners who help clubs thrive. We talk leadership, culture, food and beverage, member experiences, member engagement, marketing, governance, and so much more. If you want practical ideas, better teams, and a club experience members actually feel and talk about, you're in the right place. Now, welcome to the show. In this episode, we are going to talk about how to read people and how to read the room fast. So you can join the right conversations, help your friends join the right conversations, and escape the long ones without trying to fake a phone call. Because this week, a lot of us are going to be at World Conference. Cannot wait. And it is the Olympics of human behavior. The lobby is a safari, the bar is a documentary, and the expo hall is like a very polite casino. And the conference is not just about sessions, right? It's the people, it's the energy, and it's these micro moments, these micro conversations that we have. Right? Hundreds and hundreds a day, thousands probably over the week. And some of those conversations can turn into momentum, they can turn into energy, they can turn into a lot of great things, or they can really drain you. And you are going to be in and out of conversations all day with people you like and some people you don't like. So what I would like to share is for me, as someone who has been around people and worked with groups all over, just some simple, easy, fun body language tips and tricks that you can use at conference to help read the room better, read people better, and just see where the vibe is, where it's going, and how to adjust, maneuver, and pivot if and when you need to. And it's just how to also enter a group, how to network, how to chat, how to go into a conversation and when to go into a conversation. I highly encourage all of you. I know we all go to conference and we want to hang out with all of our friends and people that we already know because there's so much comfort there. There's comfort in our friends and comfort in talking to people that we already know, but there's also growth and a lot of greatness in connecting with new people or just connecting deeper with people who you may have just met once or twice. We're at World Conference, right? Once a week, once a year. And sometimes you barely even get to see these people once a week, once a year. So take this time to really learn as much as you can and learn about as many people as you can because your vibe attracts your tribe. So you really want to find the best people for you, your circle, yourself, and your career. And the stuff I am talking about here today is stuff I've been told, stuff I've been taught, stuff I've read, stuff I've watched, and things that I've just picked up on and learned over the years and years and years and years and years and years and years of doing shows, working clubs, watching groups, and learning how humans move when they're comfortable, learning how they move when they're uncomfortable, when they're open, when they're closed, when they're engaged, or when they're trying to escape. And tune into the episode. I'm gonna share with you all, if you're going to conference, how you can win a pair of Ray-Ban Meta glasses from me personally. Not my personal pair, but a brand new pair for you. I'm giving away at conference. Tune into the episode a little bit longer to hear how you can enter in. So before we talk about the actual body language and the actual stuff, we're gonna talk about just the groups, right? Let's take a second to zoom back. Most of the time we're gonna be going into groups of conversation. So there will be a lot of one-on-ones, but usually it's groups. So before you approach a group, especially if it's someone that you or a group you may or may not be 100% uh comfortable with or tight with, but it's also just a good exercise, just in general, as you're approaching the group, take a second or two and really look at the group. Look at the vibe, look at the energy, look at the people. Is the group loose and laughing? Are they tight and focused? Are they leaning in? Are they leaning away? Is there space in the circle or is it sealed shut like a brand new bag of coffee? So watch the energy because the energy can be a really big, big clue. Because some groups feel like a campfire. They're warm and inviting, and others feel like a board meeting. So just before you approach, just gauge the vibe and maybe adapt your energy appropriately. Because that's what all this info is doing, just giving us info to help adapt, pivot, and know how to take conversations, how to move into conversation. So, first one is just look at the vibe and energy of the group you're you're going into. Now, this is uh what I'm gonna talk about next is watching people's feet and the hips. You can do this as you're gauging the vibe and going in, but it's also just good to pick up on as the conversation's moving, as the evening's moving, as the days are moving. Watch people's feet and hips, especially in conversations. They will tell you everything. The faces and what they're saying may say one thing, but the feet and hips are a little bit different. You can tell if someone wants to get out of a conversation or if they're out of kind of like disengaged from the group or just looking for an out by watching the feet and the hips. Are the feet and the hips into the group? Are they facing the people? If the feet are facing away from the group, if the feet or the hips are facing away from the person. And sometimes it's very, very subtle, and other times it is not. But when you can pick up on those things, you can tell who wants to be in that conversation. And that's a great thing to do because if you're the one in the conversation with the person, you notice their feet are starting to shift, right? You can tell the body language, like the hips are just moving, you can tell they're not with you right there. They're slowly starting, starting to move. You can be just self-aware and be like, hey, listen, do you have a thing to go get to? Or you as the person can try to cut it short without making them feel bad, also, just by going, hey, you probably have to get somewhere. I I gotta go get to that meeting, whatever. All right, I'll catch you later. Um, so it's just about understanding the environment and knowing how to adapt and maneuver. Now, this this is also a really great tip because if you look at the group, you can see who's engaged and who's not. Then it'll help you figure out who to maybe approach first or not. Um, maybe it's your friend in that group, or maybe it's your friend having that one-on-one conversation and you can tell they are just trying to get out and don't know how. You can use that to go and help them. Right? So look at the vibe as as the 30,000-foot view, zoom out, look at the group as a whole, look at the feet, look at the hips, and then start going in there. And if you want to know if you're kind of welcome into a group or not, or if it's the right time, before you approach or as you start approaching, make eye contact, right? If it's someone you know, make eye contact, eye contact. Do you nod? Is there that little agreement, or do they look away quick, right? Maybe it's just not a good time. Maybe it's they're having a deep conversation, not looking to bring in others, or maybe they're just doing something else and just don't want outsiders in their in their little group. So it's these little micro movements, these little micro expressions, just picking up on social awareness. And now we can zoom in a little bit more. You know, we talked about uh gauging the vibe, we talked about the feet and the hips. Now let's go upwards a little bit. Let's go to the eyes. What are people's eyes saying? Where are they looking? Are they into you or are they scanning the room? Those little things, that's that one is a little bit easier. I think most people understand the eye ones. Now, if we go down from the eyes to the mouth, this is my favorite. This is my favorite line, and it was one of my favorite episodes here on Private Club Radio with Ann Macha Out, who's a uh body language expert. Um, when the lips disappear, danger may be near. And we're not talking about like sharks and tigers, right? All that stuff, but maybe the conversation is going in a way that that person doesn't agree with. Maybe someone just joined the group and you can tell the vibe is different there. When the lips disappear, trouble may be near. Maybe it's the topic, maybe it's a person, maybe they just saw their phone and saw something they they didn't like. All you're just noticing is that there's a shift in expression. There's a shift in energy. And that's important to pick up on. Because if it's a bigger group and maybe you can just tell, right, the lips disappeared on one or two people, and maybe because it's somebody brought up a topic, you as the person who knows this should have the social cue or the social awareness to go, you know, maybe try to pivot the conversation a little bit, right? We're not trying to change the direction. We're not trying to change the direction of the whole conversation, just pivot a little bit. We're trying to avoid the pothole. We're still going to the same direction. We're just trying to avoid the pothole to do a lot less damage. Horrible analogy. I don't even know where that came from. So that's really all. It's just being a little bit more aware, a little bit more conscious of the energy, the vibe, and just really watching people, which I think we're all really good at because that's what we do all day. Now, real quick, let me tell you how you can win a pair of meta glasses from me at conference. During the expo hall, the gang over at Club Data Services wants me to bring the vibe. So I'm gonna be hanging out at booth 403 Club Data Services, bringing the vibe, bringing the fun, bringing the energy from about 10 a.m. till noon on Thursday and Friday during the expo hall hours. I'm gonna be doing some fun man on the street content for private club radio, asking five questions in 60 seconds to club club professionals. Really fun, really quick, really easy. And if you come and do that, come see me at the booth, answer my questions, and I will put you in the running to win a pair of metaglasses from me. This is not with Club Data Services. This is me just giving back to all my all my private club radio listeners, you. And I'll probably have a deck of cards too. So if you want to see a trick or something. So uh when in doubt, just come and see me over at Club Data Services Booth 403 and win a pair of metaglasses, answer some fun questions, maybe see a cool trick, and hang out with myself, Jeremy Hawk, and the whole gang. We're gonna have a ton of fun over there. And here's a quick little random tip that I think all friend groups should have. And I think a lot do, but if you don't, you probably should, especially at conference for big things like this, is you should have a secret signal or a phrase or a word that lets you know, that lets the friend know, that's like, hey, either come help me, let's get out of here, let's go do something else. If you don't have that with you and your friend group, you need to immediately. So that's really it. I just want to give you a little insight because all of this is right, it it it's just information. It's not always 100%. Things aren't always 100% when it comes to body language and people and conversations and emotions and everything that we're doing. This is just to help, help you read the situation a little bit, help read the room a little bit, help you become a better person, a better leader, a better networker, and just have better conversations. So remember, before you approach the group, zoom out, get a gauge of the vibe. How's the vibe going? Are they fun? Are they open? Are they closed? Is this a good time to go in? Is it not? Use your best judgment. Watch the feet and the hips, move upwards a little bit more, go to the face, watch the eyes. They will tell you a lot when the lips disappear. Danger may be near. And help your friends when they're maybe in not great conversations or are trying to get out. So that's this episode. Super quick, I just wanted to help you guys have the best conference possible. I will see you there. Don't forget, come visit me at booth 403 Club Data Services from 10 a.m. to noon, bringing the vibe over there. Well, Private Club Radio listeners, that's this episode. I'm your host, Denny Corby. Until next time, catch y'all on the flippity flip.