Are you feeling overwhelmed?
In this episode, we explore the aftermath of the holiday season—a mix of joy, chaos, and the struggle to return to routine. Dr. Victoria Nolasco delves into the universal feelings of parental guilt and overwhelm that arise during this transition.
Join us for a candid discussion on why parents crave a break and how to navigate these emotions without guilt. Short, insightful, and perfect for those seeking a post-holiday breather.
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We've just emerged from a holiday season that was filled with joy, and at the same time, there were celebrations, vacations, there was chaos, overwhelm, and everything in between. For some of us, it's back to the routine with kids starting school, while for others, the holiday break continues. And as we go through this transition, there may be a feeling that's hard to shake off.
We feel this need to pause. Take a breath, and catch up with ourselves. It may feel like we've been running a marathon, and now we're yearning for some rest. And I even hear parents saying that I feel like I need a parenting break. I feel so overwhelmed. And then there's this sneaky guilt that creeps in.
Why do I feel like I need a break from parenting? Shouldn't I be cherishing every moment? These feelings of guilt and overwhelm are exactly what we'll dive into today.
Are there days you feel you've had it with the sleepless nights, the temper tantrums, and the constant fatigue of trying to keep up with an active baby? Does it feel like you're always working so hard as a parent, trying to do everything for your kids and family, and yet it never feels enough? We get it. You love your child more than anything, and yet parenting is also exhausting and challenging.
Especially when you're bombarded with criticism and pressure to be the perfect parent. Which, spoiler alert, does not exist. That's why we created Discerning Parenting, the podcast that helps you cut through the noise and focus on what truly matters in your parenting journey. This podcast is jam-packed with valuable insights and practical tips specifically tailored for parents of kids aged 5 and below.
So join us and discover how you can use the combined power of science, knowing your child, and your own intuition in making the best parenting decisions for you and your family.
When we feel overwhelmed and feel like we need a break from parenting, it can seem like we're falling short, like we're not being grateful enough, not appreciating our kids enough.
But here's what we often miss. Feeling overwhelmed doesn't mean that we love our kids any less. It simply means we're human. We're navigating the complexities of parenting in a world that rarely pauses. So, whether you're juggling your daily tasks, enjoying a quiet moment, or maybe the holiday chaos hasn't ended for you, let's take this opportunity to breathe, reflect, and understand that it's okay to feel the need for parenting pause.
We'll go into three common challenges that parents face as we navigate after the holidays to the transition to our regular routine. So, first, there's the challenge of readjusting routines. Over the holidays, Our usual schedules tend to go out the window. If you've managed to get your kids to an ideal bedtime so they wake up early and refreshed for school, that bedtime may have gone out the window.
And you'll need to adjust it back. And then maybe mealtimes also shift. And the structure that we rely on during the school year may not be there at all. And it's not always easy to get back on track. Maybe you've helped your young kids learn a routine so they can get dressed and ready for the day on their own.
Now you tell them to get ready and it seems like they're ignoring you. And it's not because they're deliberately misbehaving or being disobedient. But, you may find that you need to teach certain parts of the routine again. And there are some young kids who've already conquered separation anxiety, and they may have this return when they go back to school after an extended break.
The second common challenge is managing kids' expectations. Now during the holidays, there's so much excitement and maybe even some indulgence is normal because there are so many gifts, treats, vacations, and special outings. Maybe every day there's something new and something fun. Maybe they've opened 20 or even more gifts in just one day.
And as we transition away from this festivity, maybe some kids may feel a bit let down. So consider Emily, she's the mom of a vibrant five-year-old daughter, Lily. And during the holidays, Lily was thrilled with the gifts. And then almost all the time there was the presence of some family and friends. And now with the return to normalcy, Emily notices that Lily might have some of what We call the post-holiday blues, where there's some readjustment, where the sparkle of the holiday season may fade and the reality of everyday life settles back in.
So, Emily finds herself needing to balance empathy for Lily's feelings, while at the same time gently guiding her back to the regular routines. Now, in the previous episode of the Discerning Parenting podcast, we've talked about the unique challenges that kids may face during the holiday season. Because there can be so much crammed into the schedule.
There can be so much overwhelm. And then after the holiday season for both kids and parents, there's also this shift back to the regular routine, moving away from all that overwhelm. So these are just snapshots of the challenges that come after the holiday season. And each family's experience is unique but the underlying themes may be similar.
There's some readjustment. There's re-establishing, going back to our daily routine, and managing the emotional transitions that the kid can come with it. And during these times, there can also be challenges in emotional regulation.
And the third common challenge that we parents go through can be this guilt associated with feeling overwhelmed and wanting to take a break.
After the non-stop activity of the holidays, often being with our kids 24/7, it's natural to crave some downtime. But this desire can come burdened with guilt. So why do we feel guilty for needing a break? It can stem from this deep-seated belief that if we are good parents, then that means we always want to be involved, we always have to have this unwavering energy, and we know that our kids have unlimited energy, and sometimes we feel the need to keep up with it.
But let's be honest. Parenting is one of the most demanding roles we can take on in life, and we need to remember that it's okay to take a break, and taking care of ourselves is part of taking care of our kids. I often hear this from moms. They confess that they just want a day, a half day, or even just an hour to themselves.
Maybe have a day off without having to think about parenting responsibilities or time to read a book, go for a walk, Netflix and chill, or simply sit in silence. Yet, each time they think about taking this time, they're hit with a wave of guilt. Should I be doing something for my kids instead, they wonder.
And this internal struggle is common among parents, but it's crucial to recognize that taking time for ourselves isn't selfish, but it's necessary. So what can we do about these challenges? The readjusting routines, managing expectations, and feeling guilty or overwhelmed. Here are five strategies I'd like to share with you.
First, establish realistic expectations. Let's accept that the transition from the holidays to our regular routines won't be perfect. So ask yourself, what is my top priority right now? What are the non-negotiables? For example, a very important priority is to show love and to be present with our kids.
This is something we need to do every day, whether or not there's an occasion, but maybe there are other things we can let go of, like having a perfectly clean house. I know since it's New Year, we want to have this perfectly clean and decluttered house, but maybe this is something we can take on little by little.
Number two, communicate with kids and family, especially if you have young kids. You may need to go over the daily routine again before they go back to school. So head over to DiscerningParenting. com slash toolkit. We have a free parenting toolkit that includes a visual routine. You can use this to communicate your routine with toddlers and young kids and guide them through it.
Number three, ask for help. You don't have to do everything alone. Let's see where we can delegate or ask for help, whether it's with our spouse or parenting partner or relatives or assigning each appropriate choice to kids. or hiring paid help. So instead of asking how can I get everything done all by myself, that's usually what I hear parents ask me.
I need all of these things. I need to do all of these. Maybe we can make a mindset shift and ask where can I get the help I need so that I don't need to get everything done all by myself. And if you join the Discerning Parents Club, so head over to discerningparenting. com slash club, this is one of the things that we talk about, how to reduce your stress for the coming year, and we even have sections and trainings on things like age-appropriate chores.
Number four, take on the tasks little by little. Make gradual changes. So get a sheet of paper, write down all of the things that have been running around through your head that have been overwhelming you, and then get them from your head and onto paper. Then decide what you truly need to do right now and what you can schedule out gradually over the next several weeks.
Just take it one small step at a time. So maybe if you have a young child and you've had them going through their entire getting ready for the day routine, they can already have their meal, clean up afterward, brush their teeth, get dressed, and wash up as well. And they're already doing this on their own before the holiday break, and now you find it's a challenge.
It's okay to go back to it step by step. So just do it little by little.
And number five, schedule me time. Intentionally schedule time for yourself and stick to it. Maybe it's a short walk, a quiet coffee break, or just time to read the book. This is your time to recharge. And for me time, I'm also a strong advocate of screen-free me time.
I know it's quite common that we feel that me time will include scrolling through Facebook and Instagram. But You may find this to be stressful instead of calming. So try to schedule social media free time as part of your me time. In a couple of weeks from now, I'll be holding a free masterclass that is perfect to give you some me time.
It's a webinar called Why You Don't Feel Enough. and what you can do about it. So be sure to take that time for yourself. It's going to be on January 30 or 31 depending on what time zone you're in. The wonderful thing about this me time is not only will you feel recharged because I'll be taking you through a taste of the same healing journey that I went through, but at the same time, you'll emerge from it also.
with things that can help you become a better parent. So it's definitely guilt free me time because it's both for yourself and for how you are as a parent. So sign up for the free parenting toolkit at discerningparenting. com and when you sign up for that you'll be in my mailing list and you'll be among the first to know when the registration for the webinar opens.
I want to remind each of you that feeling overwhelmed and wanting a break doesn't make you a bad parent. It makes us human. Recognizing and addressing our need for rest and self-care is not just beneficial for us, but also for our kids. When we take care of ourselves, we model healthy habits for them, and we return to parenting with more patience.
energy and joy. So remember the journey of easing back into routines after the holidays. This is something we share with other parents. You're not alone in this and it's okay to seek the balance between parenting responsibilities and personal well-being. And we've dived into five strategies that you can do to step back from this overwhelm that we may be feeling right now.
So don't forget. Head over to DiscerningParenting. com, sign up for our toolkit, you'll also get into our mailing list and we'll let you know. 📍 In just a few days, registration will open for my free masterclass called Why You Don't Feel Enough and What You Can Do About It. This will also help you to step away from the parenting guilt and overwhelm that I know as parents we feel quite often.