It starts with small moments, a bedtime story that illustrates a value you believe in, a nature walk where you express gratitude for the wonder around you, or the love and patience that you show during your child's most epic tantrums. Yes, in the everyday moments you have with your child, in the things you're already doing as a parent, you are already sharing your faith.
Welcome to Discerning Parenting, the podcast for parents of kids aged 12 and under who have learned the hard way that a one-size-fits-all all approach to parenting won't shift the needle for you, your child, or your family. Together, We'll explore intentional strategies that see both you and your kids thrive.
Parenting strategies based on well-conducted research in the areas of child development, brain science, and neurodiversity need practical for you. What if you let go of perfect and embrace discerning parenting in your family instead? If you feel like you've been stumbling your way through. And you're ready to leave behind fight or flight mode parenting.
Then this is the podcast for you. I'm Dr. Victoria Angolasco, developmental and behavioral pediatrician and positive parenting coach, on a mission to help you release your parenting guilt, so you can become laser-focused on what will truly work for you.
Let's first answer the question, should we share our faith with our kids in the first place? Some people may be hesitant to do this. They may believe it's brainwashing. But the reality is, our kids are bombarded with messages every day. From the videos that they watch, to the music they listen to.
And even the people they meet, children, are constantly being influenced by the world around them. The rest of the world will fight for the time to be in front of your child and to get their messages in your child's head. And these messages, they're not neutral. They carry perspectives that may not always align with our most deeply held values, and they may not have our children's best interests at heart.
Now, introducing kids to our faith is not about being a dictator or being judgmental as some people fear. Rather, we're equipping them with a foundation of values and principles. This foundation can help them navigate life's challenges. So they grow up to be resilient and discerning, and so they can make decisions that are true to themselves and respectful of others.
Research has shown that faith and prayer can improve their mental health as well. And we'll link to these researches in the show notes. When you share your faith with your kids, it offers them an alternative to all the messages they're bombarded with daily, every day. Messages will tell them they're failing, they're not good enough, they need to be just like everybody else, they need to follow what's popular on social media, or their worth is tied to the latest cool toy or gadget.
If we as parents were constantly bombarded with messages like these, and that's why we feel parenting guilt, all the more so are our kids, and they don't even have the same experience and confidence that we may have. So when we share our faith and our values, we provide our kids with a sense of belonging to a community that shares a set of beliefs and a framework for understanding the world that prioritizes love and compassion and integrity.
When we share our faith with our kids, we take into account their developmental level. Now, many parents listening will have kids who are around two years old until around seven years old. At this stage, they are in what we call the pre operational stage of cognitive development. In this stage, they're growing in their language and in their thinking and then play, especially pretend play, is a big part of how they learn.
So pretend play and stories are great ways to share our faith with our kids at this age. And here are the five strategies. Number one, read your favorite faith stories with your child. If we tell our kids stories about Peter Pan or Cinderella. It's only right that we also tell our kids the stories that are important to our faith.
Now, if you belong to a different faith, I know you will have the great stories that are important to you and share these with your kids. Now, I'm Catholic, so my examples will be from the Catholic faith, including reading together a children's Bible with the stories broken down for young kids. And even taking it a step further with Bible related play activities, like drawing what happened at the stories, or pretending to be David and Goliath, Noah and the Ark, playing Noah's Ark with the stuffed animals, Jonah and the whale, or reenacting stories from Jesus life.
Share the stories behind the holidays and traditions of your faith, such as the Easter story and what it means. Number two, pray for your child and with your child. Pray for their relationship, their health, safety, and anything else in your heart. I know as parents, we have all of these concerns and worries for our kids.
We can also pray that God gives us the wisdom, guidance, and
grace in parenting. And when we pray, we also model our relationship with God to our kids. We can pray with our kids too. For toddlers, it can be as simple as saying, Thank you, Lord. You can do this before meals, at bedtime, in the morning. And then as your toddler grows, ask them who they want to pray for, and include them in your prayer together.
As they continue to grow and their language skills continue to blossom, they can be the ones to lead the prayer. Number three, sing songs of faith with your child. You can do this while you get ready for the day, in the car, before bedtime. We can incorporate music into almost any part of our day. A few of our favorite songs are Jesus Loves Me, This Little Light of Mine, and I've Got the Joy, Joy, Joy Down in My Heart.
And you can find some great playlists and channels online, or even create your own with all of your favorite songs. Or, just simply sing them together with your child. If you have a musical instrument, you can use that too. Number four, share your faith through faith related kids activities. Let your child join faith related activities like Sunday School or Vacation Bible School and let them join youth groups once they are older.
You and your family will have the support of others who share your faith so that you won't be alone in this. And we know that it takes a village to raise a child, and all the more so if we want to share our faith, this isn't something that we do alone, but we do this with others who share our values. We can also complete small acts of kindness with your kids.
It wouldn't be as simple as choosing toys to donate, or helping a neighbor rake their leaves. Now, it doesn't have to be a grand gesture. The most important aspect is that your kids see you serving and helping those around you. And number five, model it. Kids learn the most by watching what we do and not merely by hearing what we say.
They learn best by example. If they see us acting kind towards others, serving those around us, praying and living out our faith, they will know to do the same. Now I know There's a lot of pressure on us already to be perfect parents. I want to remove this pressure. It's not about being perfect, but they will also see how do we react when we make mistakes so we can model it.
Some people say sharing your faith with your kids. It's judgmental, and it teaches them intolerance. But, discerning parent, I know you are not a judgmental or intolerant person.
I know that you believe in the values of kindness, acceptance, and inclusivity. So, if we live our faith by example, our kids will not learn intolerance. Actually, it's the opposite. Jesus tells us to love our neighbors as ourselves. For He ate with tax collectors and healed lepers. He was welcoming to every person he encountered.
At an age where people were telling the children not to go to him, he said, let the little children come to me. Jesus teaches us to love people regardless of their background. So as we do these, when we tell stories, go through everyday experiences, a lot of questions and conversations will come up. Now, if you have young kids, I'm sure you're experiencing being on the receiving end of hundreds of questions, and many of them don't have easy answers.
They may seem simple, but when we try to answer them, it can be difficult, right? Like when they ask something like, Why do we pray? How does God listen to all of these prayers all at the same time? Or, Why didn't I get what I prayed for yesterday? I heard her tell a lie. That's bad, right? Or even, What happens after we die?
This is your cue for opening dialogues. Embrace their curiosity. It's not about having all the answers, but exploring the answers together. It's about opening a dialogue that encourages critical thinking, where it's safe for them to ask you their questions, and they won't be scolded for being silly. They won't be labeled as disrespectful.
In a world that often feels chaotic and unpredictable, sharing your faith with your kids can be a source of comfort and stability. It's a way to connect with them on a deeper level, share with them the stories, rituals, and traditions that have been meaningful to you and your family. 📍 If we don't share our faith with our kids, we will leave a void that will be filled by all the other influences that vie for their attention.
But when we share our faith, we give them the tools to navigate the world and life with wisdom, compassion, love, respect, and a deeper sense of self and identity.