In the second part of our series on managing the challenges of the clingy toddler phase, we'll discuss practical solutions to ease both parent and child through this demanding stage. Drawing from a listener's heartfelt question about the struggles of managing a clingy toddler, we explore the concern of leaving them with a babysitter for the first time.
Expect expert advice on how to handle anxiety and its potential impact on a toddler's development and mental health when introducing new caregivers. You'll learn about five effective approaches tailored to nurturing independence in toddlers.
Join us as we navigate the complexities of toddlerhood with compassion and understanding, offering actionable insights to help parents thrive during this challenging yet rewarding stage.
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Today is the second part of our series about the clingy toddler face. This is from a listener question, and here's the question. My toddler is super clingy. He cries insanely when I go to the restroom, sleeps beside me at night, and I'm with him all day. But soon I'll need to leave him with a babysitter for the day.
Will it trigger his anxiety? And will it leave a negative impact on his development and mental health? In this episode, I share five gentle parenting strategies to help you navigate the clingy toddler phase, and number five is my favorite.
Welcome to Discerning Parenting, the podcast for parents of kids age 12 and under who have learned the hard way that a one-size-fits-all all approach to parenting won't shift the needle for you, your child, or your family. Together, We'll explore intentional strategies that see both you and your kids thrive.
Parenting strategies based on well conducted research in the areas of child development, brain science, and neurodiversity need practical for you. What if you let go of perfect and embrace discerning parenting in your family instead? If you feel like you've been stumbling your way through. And you're ready to leave behind fight or flight mode parenting.
Then this is the podcast for you. I'm Dr. Victoria Angolasco, developmental and behavioral pediatrician and positive parenting coach, on a mission to help you release your parenting guilt, so you can become laser focused on what will truly work for you.
Welcome back to our deep dive into the clingy toddler phase.
If you haven't already, be sure to listen to the previous episode, The Clingy Toddler, Is It Normal, and When to Worry. We've covered what this phase entails, why it happens, and how to recognize when clinginess might be pointing to something more. And today, I'm excited to share with you five gentle parenting strategies that will help you navigate this phase with empathy, understanding, and gentleness.
So that you won't need to have it affect your child's mental health, and it won't trigger your child's anxiety, and I hope it will ease your anxiety too, because I know how your heart feels when you see a clingy toddler in tears. And, when I talk about tip number two, I'll share an aspect that I haven't seen anyone else talk about, and stick around for number five because it's my personal favorite.
Strategy number one, have a routine. First up, establish a predictable routine. Routines provide a sense of security and predictability for toddlers. This will make separations less daunting. This can be a simple morning goodbye ritual, And this can set a comforting tone for the day. And this doesn't have to be elaborate.
Even a special handshake or a goodbye song can make a world of difference. And we have the perfect resource to help you with this. Head over to DiscerningParenting. com slash toolkit and you'll get our free parenting toolkit which includes a guide to creating a routine for young kids. Not only that, you'll also have the visuals that can help you communicate this routine even to young toddlers.
And strategy number two is acknowledge your child's feelings. It's important to acknowledge your child's fear or anxiety about being apart. This can be as simple as saying, I see you're really sad that I'm leaving. It's okay to feel that way. I will miss you too. And I'll be back after lunch. And this helps them understand that their feelings are normal and respected.
Recognize that each child is different. What one child finds enjoyable may be stressful to another. So, for example, meeting a new babysitter, meeting a new person, might be something that one child can be excited about, but it can be stressful to somebody else. For Some kids adjust easily to new situations, while others need more time to get used to new people.
And this is the reason why some kids may be clingier than others, because there are kids who, the moment they see other kids at the playground, for example, they seem to forget their parents, and then they will join the other kids right away, while others will cling to their parents, even when encouraged to play.
And here's the aspect that I haven't seen anyone else acknowledge or talk about. That other people around you may belittle or shame your child for these differences. So as parents, we are our kids advocates. This is something that we here at Discerning Parenting acknowledge. We don't parent in a vacuum with just parent and child, but we're influenced by the rest of our family and others around us.
For more on this, head over to discerningparenting. com slash books. If you're struggling with practicing gentle parenting, let's say you acknowledge your child's feelings and then other people around you say that, oh, you're just spoiling your child. Maybe it feels like you're the only one trying to practice positive parenting.
Get our book, The Discerning Parent's Guide to Toddler Behavior. This is written especially for you if you're a parent who's practicing positive parenting in a negative world. And both of our books about toddler language development and about toddler behavior acknowledge that when you parent, it's not just you and your child, but you are influenced by other people around you.
Strategy number three, do it gradually. Start with short periods away from your child and then slowly increase the time. At first, it can be a quick trip to another room, even just the restroom, and then stepping out of the backyard, and eventually leaving the house for short errands while leaving your child with a trusted caregiver.
When we do this, it helps build their confidence in their ability to be away from you for a short while, and this reassures them that you will always come back. In doing this, we get our kids used to the idea of saying bye bye, the goodbye ritual, and then we can start with short separations in a familiar environment, then we can gradually increase the duration.
So at the start, it can be something like having them play in their room, and then we just go to the other room to get something. Or maybe we will be able to do chores in another part of the house, and eventually we can progress to playdates or preschool. And listener question was about being out for an extended period.
So, before the day you need to be out for an extended period, arrange a few sessions with a babysitter. And this way, your child can get used to the caregiver while you're still around and making the transition smoother for everyone involved. Strategy number four. Find the right caregiver. On one hand, it sounds so obvious.
On the other hand, I can imagine how this is easier said than done. It's important to find someone that you can trust absolutely and someone who can be consistent. Having a familiar, trusted adult caring for your child in your absence can significantly reduce anxiety. And if possible, involve this caregiver in your child's routine before any planned separation so that your child is already comfortable and trusts this person.
And share with them our free parenting toolkit so they're on board with how you want to parent your child. And they can be consistent with your principles and your values, especially when it comes to parenting. And the free toolkit will include activities not just for you and your child, but the caregiver can also do these activities with your child.
So again, head over to discerningparenting. com slash toolkit. Communicate also your child's routine and other essentials to your caregiver. And now, For my personal favorite, strategy number five, provide a special connection object. This could be a small token like a scarf with your scent on it, a family photo, or a special toy that represents the connection between you and your child.
This object serves as a tangible reminder of your relationship and love. And this can offer them comfort and reassurance while you're apart. Now, each of these five strategies can be tailored to fit your child's unique needs and your family's situation. It's all about nurturing a secure, loving relationship, even in the face of challenges like the clingy toddler phase.
Remember, the goal is not to eliminate clinginess overnight. but to navigate this phase with empathy, understanding, and patience. If we employ these gentle parenting strategies, we're not just easing the separation anxiety, but we're also fostering our children's emotional growth and resilience. That wraps up today's episode on gentle parenting strategies for the clingy toddler phase.
Which one is your favorite? I'd love to know. Send me an email at hello at DiscerningParenting. com and don't forget to sign up for your free parenting toolkit at DiscerningParenting. com slash toolkit. 📍 Remember, you're not alone in this journey and every little step you take is making a big difference in your child's world.
Thank you for tuning in to Discerning Parenting. Until next time, keep loving, keep gentle, and keep forging those unbreakable bonds.