What If Transformation Is Just Perspective? - Soyangri Book Kitchen by Kim Jee Hye

Hey Y'all! This Episode we dive deep into a Korean bestseller where a mountainside bookstore quietly reshapes how people see their lives. Between healing scenes and hard truths, we share moments that changed us, from Guyana to Greece, and why small pivots last.

• settling into new routines and letting go of urgency
• what transformation means when it’s not dramatic
• why the bookstore’s quiet hospitality works
• seven linked stories that re-order priorities
• quotes that challenge perfection and timing
• friendships rekindled and community built with care
• author’s note on midlife pivots and creative risk
• places that healed us and why place matters
• quick TV recs and our next book selection

Music by - Asher Ahmahd
Edited by - Donnie Moore  @dddonniemooreee

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Transcript

Catching Up And New Routines

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Hey, I'm I'm Esther.

SPEAKER_00 0:01

I'm Nadia.

SPEAKER_03 0:02

And this is Brain People Reading.

SPEAKER_00 0:22

Hey Asher, how are you? Good.

SPEAKER_03 0:25

I am doing really well.

SPEAKER_00 0:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:29

Thank you for asking.

SPEAKER_00 0:31

Good. I'm glad to hear that. I know you've had a busy week.

SPEAKER_03 0:33

Yes. Um, pretty busy week. Getting back into the swing of things and um feeling good.

SPEAKER_00 0:41

Good, I'm glad.

SPEAKER_03 0:42

How about you?

SPEAKER_00 0:43

Honestly, kind of the same. I have been traveling, which we'll talk more about later in the episode. But I traveled both personally and then professionally 24 hours after coming back. And last week was my first week back in Chicago full time, and it was a wash. It was me figuring out what my routines are.

SPEAKER_03 1:08

Like last week, like this past week?

SPEAKER_00 1:10

No, like the week before. The week before. Okay, got to be. Yeah. So this week I actually was like, this is what I do on a day-to-day.

SPEAKER_03 1:17

Yeah. You're like, oh. This little thing.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

Yeah. I like finally got it back together. So that was good. Um, it stopped being so bitterly cold here in Chicago.

SPEAKER_03 1:29

So like that's been oh yeah, today was nice.

SPEAKER_00 1:32

Today was really nice. And it was in the 30s, and we're from Florida.

SPEAKER_03 1:35

Look, I was like, we're grateful for 30s. Actually, I did wear my crop top yesterday.

SPEAKER_00 1:40

I saw you underneath the jacket. And I couldn't believe it.

SPEAKER_03 1:44

But I wore it.

SPEAKER_00 1:45

You sure did.

SPEAKER_03 1:47

Um, yeah, so like this week, I know we said like, do does will he, won't he? But um, yeah, so moved into a new place this week. Uh-oh. Um, so I thought it was a great idea to say, like, oh, I can still work a regular week and move everything in.

SPEAKER_01 2:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:06

Um, and I cannot. I mean, I guess I did, but like, I don't know how regular it was. Right. Um, and I made some scheduling errors and I felt super bad about it. But um, you know, you live and you learn.

SPEAKER_00 2:23

I was literally just gonna say you live and you learn. We have been really vibing on the same wavelength tonight.

SPEAKER_03 2:30

It's for real, and I'm here for it. Yeah. Um, well, tell me what you've been doing for yourself lately.

SPEAKER_00 2:37

I think I've just been being more chill about a lot of things. Like, I'm condo hunting right now, and I'm just kind of taking an attitude of what's meant for me won't pass me. If it's meant for me, I'll get it. I made an offer in a place that I did not get, but that was my attitude the whole time. Like, if this place is meant for me, my offer will be the one that they accept.

SPEAKER_03 3:00

I mean, it's a big thing, right? So, like, it's all gotta be right.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 3:04

It can't be like a even if there's some things that you're like, I mean, I'd prefer this, yeah. It's gotta overall be like, yes, this is it.

SPEAKER_00 3:13

This is the place, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:14

And if something happens outside of that, then you're like, okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:18

Right.

SPEAKER_03 3:19

Yeah, I totally get that. Yeah. Um, because it's a lot of money.

SPEAKER_00 3:22

It is a lot of money, and it was kind of freaking me out because honestly, in hindsight, I started to wonder if I was talking myself into liking that place. Like there were a lot of things I did like, but I wasn't like in love when I first walked in. But I think you know, that not a lot has been on the market, so and I was just kind of like, well, this is the one.

SPEAKER_03 3:41

Yeah, it is actually wild how little is out there. It's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 3:46

So, you know, she's coming up with plan B's as well, but yeah. So I think just sort of taking that kind of attitude and also just taking more control over my own schedule. If there's something I want to do, I'm just gonna do it. I'm not gonna make it a thing where I have to reach out to people and I'm waiting for answers about stuff. Like I've done that in the past, and then I either miss out on the tickets, they go up in price, or you know, something changes, and I'm like, I just don't want to do that. If I want to do this thing, I'm gonna buy a ticket and go.

SPEAKER_03 4:20

Yeah, I love that. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

Yes, thanks.

SPEAKER_03 4:24

Um, that can be really challenging.

SPEAKER_00 4:26

It can. I'm going to a production that's based in Hindu mythology by myself next Friday.

SPEAKER_02 4:34

Oh, cool.

SPEAKER_00 4:34

And it's they're doing it utilizing three different types of classical Indian dance, and I'm like pumped.

SPEAKER_03 4:41

I love that.

SPEAKER_00 4:42

But like I didn't ask anybody. I'm sure other people may have been interested, but I was like, I want to go. I don't want to wait. Yeah. So I just bought a ticket.

SPEAKER_03 4:50

That's you know, that's the thing, right? It's like, it's one thing to be like, hey, do you all want to go to this thing? I'm going either way. Yeah. And it's another thing to be like, no, I want to do this for me.

SPEAKER_00 5:03

Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:04

You know, and there's nothing wrong with saying, like, I'm going somewhere. No, you're not invited.

SPEAKER_00 5:09

Yeah. It's true.

SPEAKER_03 5:11

This is a me thing.

SPEAKER_00 5:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:12

You know?

SPEAKER_00 5:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:13

I mean, I'm really offended that I wasn't invited, but like, I was waiting.

SPEAKER_00 5:17

I'm like, it's gonna come right around to him somehow. Already. Oh. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:24

Oh, so we're calling people narcissists on the show today. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 5:28

I didn't say that word.

SPEAKER_03 5:29

Okay. Do not housewives me, girl. Don't do it.

SPEAKER_00 5:33

What have you been doing for yourself recently?

SPEAKER_03 5:36

Actually, speaking of that, I've been really getting into the show traders lately.

SPEAKER_00 5:41

Interesting. I know.

Letting Go And Solo Plans

SPEAKER_03 5:42

You know what? I'll save that for the end when we talk about our ex. Oh, okay. So lately for me, I think um, I'm you know what I'm doing? Sometimes I think when it's hard to think of something that you're doing for yourself, it's really in there somewhere, you just gotta find it.

SPEAKER_01 6:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:01

I think I'm allowing myself to have this transition.

SPEAKER_01 6:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:06

And it's been a long transition, and that's okay. Um, but I think that I'm just kind of allowing myself to ride the wave.

SPEAKER_00 6:16

Do you mean of moving? Like what transition are you speaking about?

SPEAKER_03 6:19

It's like um moving, a certain birthday coming up.

SPEAKER_00 6:27

A birthday he would not let me forget, and now he doesn't want to say what the birthday is. Interesting.

SPEAKER_03 6:35

Oh, lordy, lordy. You know what I mean? Um almost forwarded.

SPEAKER_00 6:40

I was about to say, look who about to be forwarded.

SPEAKER_03 6:44

Um, so I think there's like um I'm I'm trying to build that new uh project that I've been working on. It was taking that month off in December, trying to like start that process, realizing that it wouldn't be as quick of a process as I thought it was going to be. On top of knowing that I was gonna move, I like allow myself to just say, like, no, you're not like leaving it. You're gonna come back to it. It's okay. Right. But right now you gotta focus on these things and get through this, and then you'll be good to go.

SPEAKER_00 7:18

Right.

SPEAKER_03 7:19

Um, and just not getting down about it not being done when I wanted it to be done. You know, the thing that I always tell students in class, releasing the expectations.

SPEAKER_01 7:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:29

Releasing the expectations.

SPEAKER_00 7:30

Well, good.

SPEAKER_03 7:31

Yeah. So that feels good. Um yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:35

I'm excited to talk about our book of the month, which you know, we listened to a YouTube to try to get this right. So hopefully we got this. We got this. It is the Soyan Ri book kitchen by Kim G. He?

SPEAKER_03 7:50

Hie. Hie.

SPEAKER_00 7:54

There you go.

SPEAKER_03 7:54

Oh, that was a little extra, but like Kim Gie.

SPEAKER_00 7:58

There we go.

SPEAKER_03 7:58

Well, that's what it sounded like on YouTube to me. Yeah, I'm gonna go. But you know, we tried to do a little bit of research and find some options there. Um, yeah, I okay.

SPEAKER_00 8:11

What are your first impressions of the book?

SPEAKER_03 8:13

Yeah, I was like, let me not just jump right in. No, go for it. Um first impressions are different. When I first started reading this book, I was like, I don't know. Uh part of me was like, I don't know if there's like something that I'm not connecting to in terms of like, so it was translated to English, so I didn't know if I was losing something there or like I just wasn't connecting. So I was trying to give it like space to like figure out what I'm supposed to be getting from it. I just think that I okay. The woo-woo answer is I think I didn't want to hear the things.

SPEAKER_01 8:57

Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:58

You know, um and we'll get more into that later, but I think the superficial answer is that I just I didn't connect with it right away.

SPEAKER_00 9:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 9:12

And I almost wrote it off, but then was like, no, just just keep getting into it. And it I turned it turned out to be like really great for me. Oh good. I loved this book.

SPEAKER_00 9:27

Good.

SPEAKER_03 9:28

Truly.

SPEAKER_00 9:28

Um Asher sort of alluded to it. This was a Korean bestseller that was translated into English just last year.

SPEAKER_03 9:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:37

So um we picked this up at our local bookstore called Open Books.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 9:42

In Logan Square that is sadly closing, but um, for me, the first impressions were I loved the cover. I am so basic for a pretty cover, and that's what initially drew me to this book.

SPEAKER_03 9:55

That's how I feel about my wine.

SPEAKER_00 9:56

There you go. I like that too. Um, but then also I love books about libraries or bookstores.

SPEAKER_03 10:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 10:05

That has always been a thing that I like. There's like so many. There are so many that are about libraries or bookstores or they're based in a book, like whatever it is. I love it because I love libraries and I love bookstores, and I always have. So I love reading books in that scene. So for me, I had the opposite. I immediately not opposite, but I had a different initial impression where I loved it because it's a bookstore in a beautiful mountainside town sold. Tell me more.

SPEAKER_03 10:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:38

How do I have this life for myself?

SPEAKER_03 10:41

I I think it was a little bit of the like the different stories that were in it. So it's based so to talk about the book a little bit more, right? Let's get into it. About its uh structure. It's a series of seven stories about different, well, about six different people, right? But there are different characters that are the same throughout because they're the staff at the book kitchen, or um, you know, this staff member knows this person that comes to visit in one story, and another staff member knows another person through somebody else. You know, so there's like a connection through line there kind of loosely, but then it gets closer and closer.

SPEAKER_00 11:24

Well, the book kitchen is the through line.

SPEAKER_03 11:27

Yes, but I think there's even more of a through line than that, because there's like the one um the one person's friends from college, yeah, and then um one person's who knew it was this guy's cousin or something like that, right? Um so things like that. There's like connections within the connections to the bookstore, yeah. Um, but yeah, it goes over a course of a year, and um I think everybody ends up, you hear a little bit of I would say the main character in each story, right? Um something's going on in their lives, and they're fine, they find their way to the book kitchen, and it's about their experience and how that I would say transforms their lives or you know, gives them new perspective. Yeah, at least.

The Month-Long Transition And Patience

SPEAKER_00 12:23

I mean, each of them is going through something hard in their personal lives, in their typically busy city lives. They're having a struggle of some sort in some way. And then they find themselves through like different series of events, coming to the book kitchen in this town of Soyon Ri, which is like a mountainside kind of escape from um the main city of Seoul, which is where they typically are living, and they come and they just have a transformative, like healing experience there that just soothes something in their soul and in their heart so that they leave a little bit lighter, and they have like these fond feelings of the book kitchen, which is great.

SPEAKER_03 13:07

Yeah. Um, it's interesting that you said uh transformative with these, because I was I was having this conversation a little earlier, because yes, I've been talking about this book everywhere. I love that. Um, and I was like, I don't know that initially I said transformative, and then I was like, I don't know if like every single character was fully transformed, because I don't know that everybody's life dramatically changed afterwards.

SPEAKER_01 13:36

Fair.

SPEAKER_03 13:36

But we can talk about that a little later, I think. Um that word transformative, but I do like I ended up thinking, yes, I do think it is transformative, but I do think more so it is just like a big change in perspective that has put like different th like different things on their priority list, I think.

SPEAKER_00 13:57

I mean wouldn't that be transformative though?

SPEAKER_03 13:59

Um well this was the conversation that we were having, right? Um so I think the where I was getting tripped up was does transformative have to has to does a transformative experience have to be this grand thing?

SPEAKER_00 14:19

I don't think so. I think transformative means that it has changed your perspective on something. It doesn't have to be like this grand sweeping gesture, like me moving from Florida to Chicago, you too. Like it could just be like I see this thing different now. Like my mind is opened in a way that it wasn't before.

SPEAKER_03 14:39

Yeah. And I think for me, any like personally, I have always thought of transformative as this big thing, and I think sometimes to a detriment, right? Yeah, so like something does change your perspective, but because your life doesn't dramatically change, you think uh well, no, I'll speak for myself. I think that like I didn't really grasp the lesson, or I, you know, I went right back to my old ways, or whatever, and that's not necessarily true. You just see it with a different lens. Yeah. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 15:13

Yeah, welcome.

SPEAKER_03 15:15

Yeah, that's nice.

Introducing The Soyon Ri Book Kitchen

SPEAKER_00 15:16

Um was there a particular story that spoke to you the most of the different stories? Um I have two that I can talk about.

SPEAKER_03 15:33

Okay, go for it.

SPEAKER_00 15:34

So there was one story of a young woman who she's just like crushing it professionally. She um was going if it sounded like law school, and then was doing judicial research, and she decided to do judicial research, and she was on that path and was on the path to become a judge at like a young age, and she'd gone for a checkup and found out that she had a form of cancer. And that is what led her to just booking a stay at the book kitchen. She was just kind of like, I I keep working towards I've been working towards this thing, and like now that's all that my life has been.

SPEAKER_03 16:15

And I think it's Sohi.

SPEAKER_00 16:17

So he, yeah, yes.

SPEAKER_03 16:19

Um, that's the one that stayed for a month, right? Yes. Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:22

And she just got like more in touch with herself when she went to the kitchen. And I think it was transformative for her in that she started prioritizing other things when she got home because they did sort of retouch with her at the end, which I appreciated that they retouched with them. So you could kind of see what changes had been made a little bit. Um, but it stood out to me because it's like I don't want to make light of it, but like life comes at you fast.

SPEAKER_01 16:50

Yeah, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 16:52

Yeah, you're working towards this thing professionally, and you're like, I have my whole life ahead of me, and then you find out like maybe that's not true. And it just really it shook her. And reading it, I don't know why. It's like that would that would shake me, you know, like how scary would that be? Um, so that was one that stood out for me, and I liked her experience there.

SPEAKER_03 17:16

Um, actually, that's one of the things that I was gonna talk about was I I believe she's the one that went to the jazz festival. Yes, and then they ended up like just like letting loose and having fun. Yeah, it was just kind of one of those where like sometimes you just feel like stuck and in a rut, and something shakes you loose. Yeah. Right. And it took her, I think most of the time she was there, she was going to the jazz festival separately. Yeah, and then two of the staff members, Yu Jin and um Hung Hung Yun.

SPEAKER_00 17:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:49

Um they were ending up going too, right? So then they ended up meeting up and they danced the night away, and there was just this. I think that's what I loved about this book. Like they made these connections.

SPEAKER_00 18:02

Yes, these real deep connections.

SPEAKER_03 18:04

And it was one thing that stood out to me was that you don't always need to. I guess the phrase, some people come into your lives for a moment, some people come into your lives for a season, and some people are coming into your lives for life, right? Yeah, um, that phrase kept jumping out at me, and it's like just because somebody comes into your life for a moment doesn't make that moment insignificant.

SPEAKER_01 18:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:30

Going back to the transformative conversation, right? Like that moment shifted your perspective, and that you will always have that moment.

SPEAKER_00 18:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:39

Right.

SPEAKER_00 18:39

And I'm sure she would look back on that fondly. And I also like that she went there without a plan, and that was just something she's like, I heard about it, I like jazz enough, I decided to go. And she just really enjoyed herself. Like, yeah, that sounds so cool. I I would like to have an experience like that where I just go someplace for an extended period of time, which like we don't get enough vacation to be doing that, but and just let those kind of experiences and events come up. And I'm like, Yeah, I'm gonna go do that. Why not? Let's give it a try.

SPEAKER_03 19:09

Well, you you had a friend, um, I mean, I'm not gonna shout out people's names if they don't want to be shout out, but like that went to Italy for a month.

SPEAKER_01 19:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:16

Right?

SPEAKER_01 19:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:17

Um, and that was so cool. Just being able to like, especially with the time difference, being able to spend the day out and then like still work and like make the money.

SPEAKER_00 19:27

Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:28

So, like, you could I know.

SPEAKER_00 19:30

Now that you said that, I'm like, maybe I'll figure that out. We'll see.

SPEAKER_03 19:32

And you know, if some things don't work out, maybe plan B includes that.

SPEAKER_00 19:37

Honestly, I thought about that.

SPEAKER_03 19:38

Yeah, yeah. Okay, I like that. We can talk about that later. Okay, good.

SPEAKER_00 19:41

Um, okay, so that was one story.

SPEAKER_03 19:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:45

And then another story that stood out to me, but in a more heartbreaking way.

SPEAKER_03 19:50

Oof, okay, I think I know.

SPEAKER_00 19:52

Was I think his name was Ji-Hoon and Mary.

SPEAKER_03 19:58

Um, okay, that's not the one I thought.

SPEAKER_00 20:01

He Ji Hoon and Mary knew each other as children, and they were in love. And or not in love, they were friends. And she just sort of disappeared from his life. I feel like when they were maybe teenagers, like early teens. And then they for 10 years and they sort of like happen across each other again, and like he's so happy to see her. And during that time, he realized that he actually was in love with her, and it wasn't just friendship.

SPEAKER_02 20:33

Yeah.

Structure, Translation, And First Impressions

SPEAKER_00 20:34

And when they come together again, he's hoping for something more. And through their conversation, you know, she has an issue where she's unable to be rooted in reality, like she's made up her reality. And she is like working with psychiatrists through it. She got married out of this place of like this will make me feel more valid or whatever, and she's getting a divorce. Like, we find out these things again at the touch base at the end.

SPEAKER_02 21:03

Right.

SPEAKER_00 21:04

But he has come back to the book kitchen to sort of heal his heart, and it was the last place that they were together. Um because she told him, I'm not the one for you. And understanding that that's something he needed to hear to release him a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 21:21

Well, so they this is the one right where they they reconnected at the book kitchen, right? Because there was some sort of event.

SPEAKER_00 21:29

A wedding.

SPEAKER_03 21:29

Right. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Okay. And then when he came back, gotcha. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:32

Yeah. And then he comes back at the end and he's just sad. But there is a letter waiting for him. So, like, who knows what's in that letter?

SPEAKER_03 21:41

But season two, baby. I know. Come on.

SPEAKER_00 21:44

But his their story hit that story and their interactions made me really sad.

SPEAKER_03 21:50

I hear you.

SPEAKER_00 21:50

So those were two that really stood out for me. What about you?

SPEAKER_03 21:53

Um, I think the first one for me was the one where um Siwoo's friends from college.

SPEAKER_00 22:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:00

Came to visit. That was one of the first, it might have been the second story or the third story.

SPEAKER_00 22:05

I think it was this. Yeah. They'll find out.

SPEAKER_03 22:10

Yeah, but so they came and they like they didn't um it was so last minute. It was just gonna be a day trip, and then they decided that they were gonna stay. So like they were like sleeping on like the floor outside. Yeah. And C who had like decorated the whole place to make it look really nice. And they just spent up spent all night staying up and drinking and talking and laughing and just like reconnecting, you know, and it's just kind of you go this kind of came up in the book uh The Five Types of Wealth, and it's not the first time we brought this up, so good job, because clearly it's still resonating.

SPEAKER_00 22:50

Yeah, that book was good.

SPEAKER_03 22:52

Um, but when it talks about relate uh relationship wealth, right? Um, he mentions that like early in life your friends mean everything to you. Yeah, but then as life progresses, then you know you start to find a partner or you start to move your life in a certain direction, and you start those start to fade out, and different types of relationships become a little more important, which is the natural progression, and that's okay, but it's still cool that like people can go back and like reconnect, right? And I will say, and I've said to you before, you are so good at that, like you are so good at staying in touch with people, and even if it's just a conversation or a game night once a month, yeah, right, with friends that live in different states. Um I know that we will never lose our connection because if even if I drop the ball, you are always there to pick it up. And I want you to know I appreciate it, and I will do my best to not be that person, but I also acknowledge your superpower. Oh, thanks. Um, so you are a really good connector, I think.

SPEAKER_01 24:01

Thanks.

SPEAKER_03 24:01

Um yeah, of course. Um, but even more still in this story, Saren, which is one of the friends, yeah, right, is going through like the three friends are all going through their own thing, and this is why they decided to come to the space, right? Saren, um, I believe it was a relationship issue. Yeah, right. She ends up working at the book kitchen.

SPEAKER_00 24:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:26

Which I'm like, first of all, this would make this book would make an amazing hallmark movie.

SPEAKER_00 24:33

Oh my god, it really would.

SPEAKER_03 24:35

I would watch the hell out of this movie. Or a Netflix series.

SPEAKER_00 24:40

Or a Netflix series. Yes, Netflix series.

SPEAKER_03 24:42

I yeah, like a short series series, I would watch that so hard. So, like, hey, to all the 30 people that are listening.

SPEAKER_00 24:52

Let's petition Netflix.

SPEAKER_03 24:54

Yeah, like get out there and speak up, speak out. Um, I I could I could see it doing really well um in visual um in visuals, yeah. Um, so that was one. I think it's like good with friends reconnecting. I would love, I mean, there are not a lot of people, I'm not gonna lie to you. Um, there are a lot of people that I have cherished being in my life for a season, truly and honestly. And like if our paths cross, that would be awesome. There are a few people that I either wish we would reconnect more or feel bad about not keeping up with, you know. Um, and I honor that life happens and like I'm just gonna keep trying to do my best.

SPEAKER_01 25:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:47

But this has motivated me a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 25:48

Oh, good.

SPEAKER_03 25:49

Um so that was one. I would say the other one, maybe there's not another one.

SPEAKER_00 25:58

Um I also want to just quickly say while you're thinking on it, that the name the book kitchen came from um the owner of this of the space wanting it to feel like it fills you up the way a good meal, a good meal fills you up. So coming there and getting your soul fed by words and books was her thing. And I was like, that's such a cool way to think about it.

SPEAKER_03 26:26

I just yeah, the whole concept of that is amazing to me. And the community that like that says a lot about like building a community, right? With with authenticity and being like super intentional about what you want. Obviously, they had like they talked about marketing in there and like you know, it's a uh current book, so like talked a little bit about social media and whatnot. Yeah, right. Um, and that's important, but it's what's more important is like when they get there, how you make people feel so welcome so quickly. Yes. Um, and what I loved about it is I think that there are a lot of, and please don't at me, but like, you know, yoga spaces or wellness centers or whatever, these spaces that are talking about bringing people into the community to heal and all of these things. And what I think was so special about this book kitchen is there was never once a mention of healing your soul, of like whatever. It is truly come here and do what you need to do. Yep, like what feels like we will hold you, yeah, you know, and I I I loved that. I agree, and it just honestly, you know me. I'm reading this book and I'm like, that's it. I want to give up everything and move out to the country and start a book kitchen.

SPEAKER_00 27:51

I think about having a library a bookstore all the time, and I'm like, where would I do it? How would I make it profitable?

SPEAKER_03 27:58

I think it would be really cool to have a space. Well, you know, let me not give up all my ideas. Yes. Um, but I'll give you a little bit, and if you want to invest, let us know. Brownpeoplereading at gmail.com.

SPEAKER_01 28:10

Love it.

What Counts As Transformative

SPEAKER_03 28:12

Um, but a space where you can do things like sit and read a book, have a coffee, move a little bit, meditate a little bit, listen to some sound, or listen to something, just a place where like you're not promoting the healing and the wellness of it all, you're just promoting a space for people to like recharge.

SPEAKER_01 28:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:34

You know?

SPEAKER_00 28:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:35

Um at what however they need to.

SPEAKER_00 28:39

I do have one more story that I liked. Okay, go, which was the last one where the owner of the book kitchen, Yojin.

SPEAKER_03 28:48

I said Eugen, but Eugen.

SPEAKER_00 28:51

Um, she it gets alluded to her finding love.

SPEAKER_03 28:55

I know, I did like that too.

SPEAKER_00 28:57

And I was like, thank you, because I love that. I connected with her a lot. She's like in charge, she's, you know, running this thing. She's done it with such intention and integrity, and like really, she's a connector. She's making everybody feel welcome and giving them the space that they need, and isn't clearly an empath, and just like, you know, she's taking care of everyone. And I'm like, but when does that person find love? And then she did at the end, and I'm like, yes. Yeah, that is what I wanted to see. Thank you. Yeah. I love that.

SPEAKER_03 29:35

That was great.

SPEAKER_00 29:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:36

Um, and then at the the one of the epilogues where so I'm okay.

SPEAKER_00 29:43

That part was weird to me. I feel like I already know. Sun Bay thing.

SPEAKER_03 29:46

Yes. Yeah. Um, I'm sure it's not Sun Bay, but I kept reading Sun Bay and like I had to like let that go. Yeah. And just like that's what I was gonna read. Um but uh obviously that whole situation where he kind of just like sold the thing like from under her, pretty much, you know.

SPEAKER_00 30:08

I don't think actually the way I read it was that he didn't sell it, but he basically left their startup that they were working on together.

SPEAKER_03 30:15

Oh, right, because he wanted to like keep going.

SPEAKER_00 30:18

He wanted to keep being an entrepreneur and like getting startups, selling them and keeping them moving. And she wanted to stay with that company because it sounded like she did stay and then it didn't really do well.

SPEAKER_03 30:29

And this is the part of the movie where like tensions are a little high and you start to realize a little bit more about her past, you know what I mean? Like so I I liked it for that entertainment value, but I obviously Team Eugen, you know what I mean? Like I was really upset for her.

SPEAKER_00 30:45

I think for me, I didn't need it. It wasn't that it didn't really fit with the rest of the book to be.

SPEAKER_03 30:52

Okay, I hear you, and I think it gives you a little more look into her past and why she ended up make or like building or creating the book kitchen, and I think that so in that epilogue, she is so he comes to her and now he wants her to build this like library garden for this corporate building, yeah. Right, and I think for me it was really important because you see how she builds this community within the book kitchen. Now she's expanding that and she's giving other people, she's giving people that same opportunity in a space that once people were running from. You know what I mean? So you don't have to do the running.

SPEAKER_00 31:39

You've just transformed the way I thought about that. Come on, come on now, because that is not how I was like thinking of it at all. I'm like, this feels so random and out of place to me. But you positioning it like that makes more way more sense.

SPEAKER_03 31:52

Yeah, I was like, this is her, like I mean, expanding her brand sounds wrong, but I mean, yes, but more so it's just giving people the same thing she's always been giving people. Yeah, you know, um, just in a bigger way, yeah. Well, a different way. I wouldn't say bigger, because I think the book kitchen is pretty substantial. Absolutely, you know. Um, so I will say maybe I don't have another story that really stood out. There were like a couple things that I read that were like, dang, you know.

SPEAKER_00 32:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 32:27

So in the third story, um, one thing I read was life isn't a hundred excuse me, life isn't a 100-meter sprint. It isn't quite a marathon either. Perhaps life is simply the journey of finding your own pace and direction, the optimal path for ourselves. And I was like, if I didn't need to hear those words, I don't know who else did.

SPEAKER_00 32:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 32:51

Like, that is a perfect way to say because we are, you know, a popular saying is life is a marathon. And it's like, well, not for everyone.

SPEAKER_00 33:00

Right.

SPEAKER_03 33:01

You know, you gotta find that balance.

SPEAKER_00 33:03

Right. Um, I think people get lost in that thinking that life is a marathon. It's like, yes, and why wait to do the things you want to do? Why aren't we enjoying our life and making it the best it can be right now?

SPEAKER_03 33:19

Yeah. Um, one that's like a little sadder, but um still thought-provoking. Um oh no, there's two more. Okay, I got two more. Okay. Um, also in story three, on page 75, if you're following along, uh, the perfect moment in life doesn't exist. The fact that we are constantly in a state of imperfection, and when the time comes, the curtains will close on our stage. Um, for me, it was just like while it sounds sad, to me it was like stop waiting for and I think that's what they were talking about in that section. Stop waiting for the perfect time to do something. Yeah, just do the thing, just do it, live in the imperfection. One day you're not gonna be able to do anything.

SPEAKER_00 34:06

Right. There's never gonna be a perfect time.

SPEAKER_03 34:08

Right. So that really got to me. Um, I really enjoyed that. I and that's why what I mean when I say, like, as I started reading it, it was just really starting to like creep into my soul a bit, you know. Yeah, uh really like speaking to me. Um, and then the last one I have for now are uh dreams are never meant to be realistic, it's the energy that spurs one to be a better version of themselves.

SPEAKER_00 34:37

I like that. That's a nice way to think about dreams.

Stories That Hit Hard

SPEAKER_03 34:40

Yeah, so it's kind of similar to the way that I always talk about manifestation, right? So you envision in your mind like the perfect thing, the thing that you really want. You write it out into full detail, right? And then you put that at the finish line. You pull it back and you say, Okay, what do I need to do to get there? And then you go all the way back till you find your first actionable step, right? So then you start taking those steps, but as you start taking the steps, you don't get to decide where those steps guide you. Right. Right? So when you finally get to the finish line, it might not look the same way. It probably won't look the same way, but you still got what you were aiming for. You've got to like let yourself be open to all the possibilities of what you want.

SPEAKER_00 35:25

Absolutely. I hear that a lot from people that were like, if I didn't open my mind, I would have missed out on this great person or this great opportunity. If I was just like honed in on like it has to look like this, it has to be like this. I would have missed out on so many fantastic things.

SPEAKER_03 35:43

Same.

SPEAKER_00 35:44

Yeah. It's a deep book. Like it wasn't written in a way that felt deep, but like it really gave you some good stories.

SPEAKER_03 35:55

Um, it really did. And that's yeah, I really, really, really like this book. It might be one of my favorites, to be honest.

SPEAKER_00 36:02

Oh my god, I'm glad.

SPEAKER_03 36:04

Um, and it's so funny that we really just picked it up because of the cover.

SPEAKER_00 36:08

Well, at first, and then we read a little bit, and I even remember, and I'll be honest, I remember reading it and being like, I mean I was buying this book for myself, and then we were looking for a book for us for the podcast, and then it got to the point where like we weren't finding anything, and you're like, Let me read the back of that book that you were gonna get. Yeah, and there happened to be two copies, and here we are.

SPEAKER_03 36:29

There were only two copies, yes, which is wild. Thank you, Kimji He. Yeah, um, speaking of uh the other part that I was really into was the author's note.

SPEAKER_00 36:42

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 36:42

Now I don't typically read the author's note.

SPEAKER_00 36:45

Um I didn't, but Asher told me I should.

SPEAKER_03 36:48

Yeah, like you're lucky if I read an epilogue or a prologue. I'm not gonna lie to you.

SPEAKER_00 36:53

I always read epilogues. Um prologues too, but like when they have these long introductions for a lot of the self-help books we've read, I've really had to make myself.

SPEAKER_03 37:04

Yeah. I typically like to just dive right in.

SPEAKER_00 37:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:08

Um, but this was not, I was just not ready for it to end, to be honest. And I was like, well, let me read a little bit about why she wrote this, because there's so much in intention in here, you know?

SPEAKER_02 37:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:19

Um, and when I tell you this woman has paralleled my life just a few years apart, yeah. Right. So um when when she turned 40 in 2020, she quit her job and started freelancing. And then um, I think when she turned 41, she started writing the book. Yeah. Right. Um, but she was saying, and I loved the way that um Kim uh explained this or gave a visual for it, right? Where she felt like she was in an airport and people were getting on and off flights, going and coming home or to new destinations, and she felt like her life was a plane that was constantly div delayed and eventually candled cancelled, and she was just sitting there in like the terminal, you know, and I was like, Yeah, kinda, you know, and then when I saw like she quit her job and you know, changed like the career path, and I was like, Yes. Yeah. So then just reading about why she wrote the uh this book and why she picked these stories, uh speaking to people in their 30s, right? She said she wished she had a book like this when she was in her 30s. Um and it's all about this in-between transition time where you kind of don't know what's going on, but you're still moving ahead. Like you know enough to not be like a child or like do that crazy stuff you used to do in your late 20s, Hello Saturn returns, right? You know, um, but not quite settled enough to like sit and be like, I'm here now.

SPEAKER_00 39:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:04

Um, some people have that, and I love that for them.

SPEAKER_00 39:07

And some are moving towards it, right?

SPEAKER_03 39:10

And this is a great book for that, and it just made sense why I felt so connected to that, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:15

Absolutely. So I know we both had the same idea about like what this thought spurred in both of us, and we wanted to talk about places that felt transformative to each of us. I read like I teased this at the beginning. I went on some trips, and the personal trip I went on was to Guyana for my mom's 70th birthday, and you know, she hadn't been in 34 years. And every she moved 50 years ago, but had been back, but every time she'd been back, it was for her funeral. And when we first landed in Guyana, and they came over the intercom and they said, Welcome to Guyana, the land of many waters. My self, myself, my sister, and my brother-in-law all like put our hands on my mom.

SPEAKER_03 40:09

It was Okay, so this is the part where we just start crying. Let's go.

SPEAKER_00 40:14

It was very powerful, and she just looked at me and she was like, you know, I haven't been here just to be here ever. So it was it was a really special trip. And you know, when I went to India. I know. When I went to India in 2008, I was looking and hoping to feel like I belonged. Growing up in America as an Indo-Caribbean, going to schools where I was like one of four in my whole school, I felt othered a lot. And I always wondered what it would feel like. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 40:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:55

What it would feel like to not feel like that. I hoped for that experience in India, did not have it. They saw me and they're immediately like American, which is fair. So that was not the experience there, but in Guyana, like they were just so used to people leaving, having gone to either the US, Canada, the UK for education, for opportunities, whatever it is, and then coming back with their families. So they were just kind of like, yeah, it's whatever, like your high knees, like you know, like they didn't feel any kind of way towards me, like you're American, you must be rich, like, which is a lot of the talk that I had heard growing up that people that stayed in Guyana Sorve felt about the ones that didn't.

SPEAKER_02 41:47

Right.

SPEAKER_00 41:48

It just didn't feel like that. It truly felt like going home.

SPEAKER_03 41:55

Yeah. I um was talking about that with somebody recently and actually brought you up. Um she's going to Puerto Rico for her mom's birthday.

SPEAKER_00 42:13

Love it.

SPEAKER_03 42:14

Um, and I said that same thing to her. It's like there's something about being on the land that like you are from. 100%. And I don't I last time I went, I was four. Right. I was a baby. And I crave to go. Like truly crave it. I you're gonna love it. Because I can't imagine what it's like to look around and be like, no, my people have been here as long as you could write stuff down.

SPEAKER_00 42:47

And I didn't even realize it, but at a moment I just felt something in me has been healed.

SPEAKER_03 42:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:55

So that was mine.

SPEAKER_03 42:56

That is soil that you came from.

SPEAKER_00 42:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 42:59

You know?

SPEAKER_00 43:00

Yeah. So that is my transformative place. Okay. I am already looking forward to going back. Like I do want to make that a thing. Uh, what about you?

SPEAKER_03 43:13

Um, I wish I could say that that was mine. And I love that experience for you.

SPEAKER_00 43:18

Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_03 43:19

Um you know, going back to the beginning, that's one thing that I have done for myself lately. I have realized that I no longer am holding on to envy or jealousy. Um, even if I think somebody else has more opportunities than me or doesn't feel othered, so more people are gravitated towards them. Yeah. I am happy for everybody's like wins or everybody's come ups or everybody's like, you know, realizations or epiphanies.

SPEAKER_00 43:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:51

Um, and I'm not saying that I feel ja I'm just saying like in this moment I was like, wow, I really have like held on to that thing. Yeah. Um, so that's good. But uh no, I truly love that. I feel it radiating off of you. Like I truly do.

SPEAKER_00 44:08

I feel like I came back different. Like just joy.

SPEAKER_03 44:13

Remember me different. Oh, girl, there's always a right time for an insecure quote.

SPEAKER_00 44:25

Especially from Kelly, the best character. Bro.

SPEAKER_03 44:30

Okay. So I've talked about this before, uh, but Costa Rica for me. Um I think I had been, uh you know what? I have talked about Costa Rica before. I've had a lot of transformative moments, maybe.

SPEAKER_00 44:51

That's great.

SPEAKER_03 44:52

Um I think Costa Rica was a big one, but I've already talked about it. I'm gonna talk about another one. Um I don't know if we were doing this when I went to Greece for the first time.

SPEAKER_00 45:02

I don't think so. Not for the first time.

Connection, Community, And Belonging

SPEAKER_03 45:04

Um the first time I went to Greece was to do a yoga retreat with Zan Yoga Garage, Xanyogagarage.com here in Bucktown, Chicago. Um first class is free. Yeah, I'm gonna go collect that chat tomorrow. Thank you. Um so they asked me to be a part of it, and I was doing sound for it. I was teaching yoga as well, but I was doing um live sound for the other yoga classes and then doing a sound bath meditation on my own. Right? Um, and I was so nervous to go to a country where the language wasn't primarily English. Um, I know how that sounds, but regardless of how it sounds, it's still something that made me anxious.

SPEAKER_00 45:59

It was the first time you'd done that.

SPEAKER_03 46:00

It's first time, and I was gonna do it and figure it out. And I had looked up some phrases and we had, you know, I tried my best. Um luckily I was traveling with um another family, so I didn't do that on my own because it was the first time I had traveled outside of the country as an adult.

SPEAKER_01 46:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 46:20

Um so we get there and there was just something about the waters and the island and just even Athens that we stayed in just for a little amount of time, right?

SPEAKER_01 46:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 46:32

Um, and I won't go into like super detail of like the trip in general, like just the itinerary, but there was a moment a little backstory. I have written in school since I was probably 13. Anytime I got a chance, I wrote about Greek and Roman art, ancient Greek and Roman art. It was something that I was just always obsessed with. Yeah. I just the birth of Western culture, just learning where it came from, knowing that some of that culture came from very dark-skinned people.

SPEAKER_01 47:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:10

Right. Um, and that's a whole nother conversation. Um, I did see a an Instagram reel on this uh young man that talks about history um and has a show on some sort of network because his reels got so popular. Um, and he did just a great job reporting all of these things, right? That there were black people in ancient Greece. Yeah. And there's proof of it in artwork.

SPEAKER_00 47:41

I've seen that from your reels recently.

SPEAKER_03 47:45

So um it was just really cool to be on that land that I have so desperately wanted to learn everything about.

SPEAKER_00 47:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:56

And I was sitting on the beach on this island and I was thinking to myself, I have tried everything. I've switched my career so many times. I've always come back to music, and it's wild to me that music is the thing that brought me to the place that I've always wanted to be.

SPEAKER_00 48:15

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 48:16

And I just sat there watching the mountains of Naxos and the sun setting behind it, the sun the shallow ripples of the sea, and just being there, like, I can't believe I'm here right now.

SPEAKER_00 48:30

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 48:32

And it just made everything that I've done up until that point worth it.

SPEAKER_00 48:40

Do you know have you seen these things on Instagram recently where it's somebody saying, like, oh, I you know, I I see so many patients a day, like I or something like I'm having a hard time juggling all the patients I see a day. And then it's a picture of them as a kid that's like, we see patients now. Oh, and it's like that was a dream they had as a kid, and it's like it came true.

SPEAKER_03 49:06

No, I haven't seen that.

SPEAKER_00 49:07

That's what you saying this right now makes me think of like, oh, I need to pack for my trip to Greece. Like, what do I pack? And then baby Asher's like, we made it to Greece, right?

SPEAKER_03 49:17

Truly, and it's just the perfect example of like your finish line will look different when you get there. Yeah, right, because I thought music was gonna take me places, but these were not the places that I thought it was gonna take me, yeah, and I'm so grateful for it. Like, I can't even there are no tears because I just feel so much gratitude and pride and like joy from it, yeah. You know, and the tears have already come, to be honest. Um, but yeah, I love that. That's the one for me. Um, so y'all, So Angry Book Kitchen. This book, read it. Is it like go find it, read it, please?

SPEAKER_00 49:59

Great, it's a beautiful book, you'll love it.

SPEAKER_03 50:01

Yeah. Um, so did you want to talk really quickly about anything, any recommendations, things you've been watching, things you've been reading?

SPEAKER_00 50:10

You know, I haven't been doing a ton of reading recently, so I don't have any books right now to recommend. But the show that is always one that I recommend and I've been watching a lot recently is Abbott Elementary on Hulu. Love that show. It's like four seasons in and still fantastic. Can't say enough good things. And then another show I like on Hulu that is just like a nice, easy, fun watch is Animal Control.

SPEAKER_03 50:40

What's that?

SPEAKER_00 50:42

It's another like workplace comedy of these people that work in animal control, and it's just you know, their ins and outs of their day and like their silly feuds with each other. It's just very lighthearted and funny. Um, it's just an easy watch. So if you're looking for something that's very easy and will help you decompress, okay, that's what I would recommend. It's also on Hulu, and I think it's on Netflix now, too.

SPEAKER_03 51:07

It's like you love Hulu.

SPEAKER_00 51:09

I went back on you at I know I went back on there after the whole Jimmy Kimmel thing. I had canceled mine, and then I'm like, I need to see Abbott though.

SPEAKER_03 51:17

Right.

SPEAKER_00 51:18

So I signed back up, and I'm like, as soon as Abbott's done, you gone. So I'm gonna watch a bunch of things. There you go.

SPEAKER_03 51:23

True that.

SPEAKER_00 51:24

What about you? What recs do you have?

SPEAKER_03 51:26

Um, right now I'm watching traitors, and if you're not watching traitors, you are wrong. Okay? Hear me and hear me good. I'm not gonna get closer to this mic because Donnie will get mad. But like, listen to me good. This stuff is juicy, right? Okay, and it's one of those things where you don't have to start in season one. You can watch this season, you can watch uh season two was really, really great. Um but this season, there is somebody on there, uh Rob, that like um at first I wanted to dislike so much because he's just kind of like a bro.

SPEAKER_01 52:04

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 52:04

And he turns out to be this quiet, intelligent, like reserved, but mastermind. I think he's doing so, so well in this show right now. Um, and like he's conniving, but conniving enough and not like dirty, just like in the spirit of the game.

SPEAKER_00 52:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 52:25

Right? Um, I I love it. I can't say enough good things about it. It's so juicy.

SPEAKER_00 52:30

Well, okay then. We've got three shows for you as Rex.

SPEAKER_03 52:34

There you go.

SPEAKER_00 52:35

No books. No books.

SPEAKER_03 52:37

We'll get into it later.

SPEAKER_00 52:38

That's okay.

SPEAKER_03 52:39

But I am glad, like, I'm I'm gonna start. I started reading this trilogy, and I talked about it last time, The Children of Blood and Bone.

SPEAKER_01 52:45

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 52:45

I'm on the second book right now. So now that we finished this, I'm gonna take a little in-between time to like read the second one. And then hopefully after we read Nedra.

SPEAKER_00 52:57

Sorry, I Yeah, spoiler.

SPEAKER_03 52:59

Spoiler alert.

SPEAKER_00 53:00

Um, we our next book is going to be The Balancing Act by our Queen of Boundaries, Nedra Glover Tawab. Um, it's about creating healthy dependency and connection without losing yourself.

SPEAKER_03 53:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:14

Which honestly is something I need to learn about.

SPEAKER_03 53:16

I yeah, I love that.

SPEAKER_00 53:17

So I'm really looking forward to that book.

SPEAKER_03 53:19

And I know how much we liked the other book.

SPEAKER_00 53:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 53:21

So I'm looking forward to reading her words again.

SPEAKER_00 53:24

And you've got a few days until that book even comes out. So pre-order if you guys can.

SPEAKER_03 53:29

Oh, right. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:30

But that'll give you some time to jump into your second book there. That's true.

SPEAKER_03 53:34

I love it. All right, y'all. Thank you so much. We're gonna get out of here, but we'll see you next time.

SPEAKER_00 53:39

Bye.