The Cliff Between Fear and Freedom

What if getting sober feels like standing on the edge of a 30-foot cliff—terrified, frozen, and unable to trust what’s waiting on the other side?

After returning from an unforgettable recovery trip to Cherokee, Corey shares how his fear of jumping from a cliff reminded him of the fear he experienced when he first walked into a recovery meeting. He watched other people take the leap safely, but fear still prevented him from following them. Early recovery can feel exactly the same.

You may see millions of people living sober, rebuilding relationships, succeeding in business, and enjoying lives they never thought possible—but taking that first step still requires courage, trust, and a willingness to ask for help.

Corey also shares stories from whitewater rafting, tubing down the river, fishing, fellowship, and spending the weekend with an incredible group of men in recovery. These experiences demonstrate an important truth: sobriety isn’t the end of your life. It can be the beginning of a life filled with genuine friendships, new adventures, spiritual growth, and real freedom.

In this episode, Corey discusses:

• Why getting sober can feel like jumping from a cliff
• The paralyzing fear of walking into your first recovery meeting
• Learning to trust the experience of people who have gone before you
• Why asking another person for help is a sign of strength
• The importance of sponsorship, fellowship, faith, and the 12 Steps
• How recovery creates genuine friendships and unforgettable experiences
• Why the promises of recovery may take time—but can come true
• The internal work required to build a life worth living
• Why alcohol and drugs cannot solve pain, rejection, or relationship problems
• How one honest decision can completely change your future

Recovery requires work. You may have apologies to make, consequences to face, money to repay, and painful truths to confront. But the life waiting on the other side can be greater than anything you currently believe is possible.

You don’t have to overcome every fear today. You only have to take the next step, raise your hand, admit that you need help, and allow someone to show you the path forward.

If this episode gives you hope, share it with someone who is struggling, considering sobriety, or having a difficult time in recovery.

Visit SuccessfulLifePodcast.com to connect with Corey and hear more real conversations about sobriety, recovery, personal growth, and building a successful life.

Subscribe to The Successful Life Podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, leave a review, and remember: you never have to face recovery alone.

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Transcript

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CoreyBerrier 0:30

Welcome to the Successful Life Podcast. I'm your host, Corey Berrier, and I'm super grateful, as always, to be sober today. And to have another day. Sober is always a gift. I'm feeling a little bit tired today because I've just got back from Cherokee with a bunch of my good people in recovery. And we had a blast. It was so much fun. First day we got there. Let's see, what did we do the first day we got there? I think we all just hung out and went to dinner and the casino for a bit. Now I don't gamble, but some of the guys that I was with gambled. Some of them did great. Some of them didn't do great, but it's really fun to watch. And uh yeah, it was really fun. And uh the next day we went white water whitewater rafting first, and then we went to this freaking cliff. Let me tell you something. The fear that I felt on top of this cliff, I think it was about 30 feet high, approximately. Everybody jumped off this cliff cliff, except for me, because I was paralyzed by fear. And here's what it reminded me of. When I first got sober, when I first decided that I needed to do something about my drinking, that same paralyzing fear, I that's what I felt. I felt the exact same paralyzing feel of fear. And I didn't think of this at the time, and I wish I had of, because when you're fearful of something, lots of times it's in your imagination because maybe you don't have experience with it, especially getting sober. You most people don't have experience. Well, nobody has experience with that when they first get sober. Now, I suppose if you go out and relapse, you've got some experience, which you can feed off of. But I didn't have any experience with jumping off this massive cliff. And I watched, I don't know, six or seven other guys do it and over. And I was paralyzed. I was absolutely paralyzed because in my mind, in my mind, there I I knew nothing was gonna happen, but I just couldn't bring myself to jump off of this cliff. Much like when I first decided to get sober, I felt that same fear walking into the rooms. And if you've gotten sober and you're listening to this podcast, you probably can identify with that fear you felt when you first had to raise your hand and say you're an alcoholic. Because you're in a room full of folks that you don't know, most likely you can't really identify with yet, and you don't have any experience getting sober. You've used, if you're like me, you've used alcohol to lubricate social settings, lubricate relationships, loop shit. I used alcohol to lubricate everything in my life. There wasn't too many things that I did that didn't involve alcohol. And so trying to imagine living without alcohol is just as difficult as trying to live with it. But here's the thing until you make the decision and take action in recovery, you're not gonna have that experience. And it's just like me standing on the top of that cliff, shaking like a leaf, feeling like I was just again, I was just paralyzed by the thought of jumping off of this cliff. At one point, I started to jump off, and my brain just said stop. And I just couldn't force my body to do it. And uh there's part of that is the peer pressure of just like in early sobriety, hell, just like in even in later sobriety for me, you want to feel like you're you fit in with everybody, you want to feel like you're a part of, and and in that moment, I didn't really feel like I was a part of, not because anybody made me feel that way, or not because people would they nobody was pressuring me. They wanted me to jump because they knew I'd be okay. But I didn't trust, and it's crazy because I trust the guys I was with, but I just couldn't trust, I just couldn't trust, and again, that's a lot like early sobriety. It's hard to trust what people are telling you because you haven't had the experience, and but being being in early recovery, being in mid-recovery, being in later recovery, sometimes you have to depend on other people lots of times in early recovery. You have to depend on other people to share their experience with you, and eventually you've got to trust that they're telling you the truth, and you've got to trust that you're gonna get through this thing that looks like a mountain. And I'm not suggesting that it's easy, but I am suggesting that if you listen to other people's experience, or in this case with the cliff, watching, literally sitting there watching people jump off and being so happy that they did it, because one, it's scary, two, it's an accomplishment, and they had to overcome the same amount of fear that I did, but they did it, and I just couldn't do it. And so I if you're not if you're not sober, you probably feel that same fear. But here's what I can guarantee you, and probably what they could have guaranteed me is that you are gonna be okay, because there's hundreds and hundreds, actually, millions of people at this point that have walked this exact same path, and they've been able to stay sober. And uh as a grown man, you have to ask another man for help. For unfortunately, there wasn't a lot of help that could be given, other than I guess I could have had somebody shove me off the cliff, which is probably that that's the only way I was going off of it. And maybe that is a good idea because sometimes you just need a little nudge to get your ass in gear. Again, much like recovery. When you go through, for me, and going through the steps, when you get to certain steps, they're scary because you got to be vulnerable. And I felt very vulnerable on top of that cliff. I just I just couldn't overcome it. I just couldn't, and I did jump off a smaller one, which I guess that's something. I felt like I couldn't leave there without jumping off something, and it wasn't very tall, I can tell you that. But regardless of how tall it was or not, at least I did the small one. And at the end of the day, everybody I was with were they were just happy that I jumped off the small one. But guess what? They would have been cool if I didn't. And my buddy Adam, he saw my legs literally shaking on the top of that taller cliff, and he was just like, Come on, let's just let's head downstairs, let's head down. He was like, You don't have to do this, like it's not a big deal, dude. And it just the uh the awareness of him watching me and seeing how paralyzed I was and just kind of taking the reins and saying, look, let's just head on down. Like and I thanked him for that. I thanked him for you know helping me, helping me with something I couldn't do myself because I didn't want to walk down that hill and not jump off the cliff, but I also couldn't jump off the cliff, so I was just stuck there, and I bet you I sat on top of that cliff for an hour. And and so I'm really grateful that Adam just said, Hey, come on down. We went down to the lower cliff, and he didn't encourage me to jump off, he didn't do anything. Now, some of the guys did encourage me to jump off, and it wasn't because they were pressuring me to do something I didn't want to do. It's because they knew if I did it, I was gonna be perfectly fine. And it's much like when you're taking the steps in a 12-step program. Sometimes you just need to trust the person that's talking to you, whether that be your sponsor, whether that be another friend in the program, whoever that might be, you need guidance, you need other people's experience, strength, and hope. And sometimes you just have to rely on that. And of course, my you should rely on God with everything, but sometimes it's not that easy. It seems like it should be easy, but the fact of the matter is, you know, you've got to have faith in order to depend on God or who whatever it is you find to guide you, the universe, Buddha, whoever it is, doesn't really matter. But until you have that relationship, which most people don't really have that kind of relationship with the God of their understanding when they come in, because if they did, then maybe they wouldn't, maybe they wouldn't be in as bad a shape as they are. Usually we're in bad shape because we are not relying on God or anybody else to make decisions. We're just relying on our own selves, which means ultimately that we are playing God, which is exactly what I did, and probably everybody else that's sober. I think it's interesting that when you get down when you get down to the point that maybe you've had overdoses, or you get to the point where everything has completely fallen apart, and there's absolutely nothing left for you to do. You're at your wit's end. I've been there. Most folks that have been in recovery have been there, and I believe for me, anyway, and I don't know if it's is the same for you, maybe you can ask yourself that question. But for me, I needed to be, I needed to have everything lost. I needed for my life to be so uneffing manageable that I had to rely on something I couldn't see, feel, or hear. And that for me is God. And like I said, it took some time to trust that. Maybe if I would have prayed on that cliff for the strength to jump off of it, then I probably would have jumped off of it. But you know what? Perfect example. I was in control, my mind was in control, and I didn't rely on God to walk me through that situation because Corey didn't want to do it. I was scared to death, which I guess I've beaten that to a drum. I mean, whatever. This beat it like a dead horse, I guess, at this point. So finally, after I jumped off the small cliff, um, everybody could leave. You know, because I I don't think I was necessarily holding up the group, but certainly felt that way. Not because anybody made me feel that way, because the brain between my ears tells me that I'm holding the group up. And the truth is, I'm just scared of heights like that. Like I have a couple of guys that that I'm friends with that they jump out of airplanes every freaking weekend. That sounds nuts to me. That sounds like a death wish. Like you'd have to throw me out of a damn airplane for me to jump, period. Especially after this experience this weekend. Anyway, so that was that was nerve-wracking to say the least. So after that, I think we uh we all went to dinner and just kind of hung out by the campsite. We had some cool, super dope cab cabins we stayed in on this super dope uh campsite. And uh then the next day we went tubing. We all went to breakfast, which was amazing. It took a little bit longer than we anticipated, but it was doesn't matter. So we went tubing, like probably three hours down a river, and that was so much, it was a lot of fun, it was really relaxing, and it was just a good time. Everybody had fun, we had a cigar, it was it was really cool. And then last night, yesterday afternoon, late, we went to the back to the casino. Some guys lost some money, some guys won some money, and uh and then we had dinner. I'll tell you another hilarious story that happened that I did skip over. I mean, it wasn't necessarily hilarious for one of the guys, but it was really pretty funny. So we went to dinner the night we got there at this place, this guy Fieri's restaurant where he serves burgers and whatever. And uh this really this funny guy, and I won't mention his name because it doesn't matter, but anybody that knows anybody that was on this trip listens to this is gonna know exactly who I'm talking about. But this guy was absolutely hilarious, and he thought this girl in the restaurant was cute, and so he I encouraged him to talk to her, and so he did, and he dropped this. I'm gonna mess this up probably. Sounds way better when he says it, but he said something about I asked her if she was an organ donor. I can't remember what she said, and he said, Well, I'll donate my heart to you, which was I thought a stellar pickup line. Like I thought it was really good, and I'd never heard it. I thought it was yeah, I thought it was great. And so he's talking to this girl, we're all four at the table, she's at the table, and she's like, I'll give you my email address, which is fucking odd, right? I mean, that's just an odd ass way of giving somebody your, I guess, communication style is the best way I can say it. And so he's about to get her email address, and she looks over at one of the other guys at the table, and she said, unless he's willing to take my email address, I mean, you can't make this shit up. And so the other kid got her email address, and the rest was history. I think he hooked up with her that night, and yeah, good for him. But it was just pretty hilarious how that whole thing went down. I mean, it took a lot of guts for that girl to say, Well, I don't really care for you, but your friend, on the other hand, I'd be down to care for him, and that's exactly what happened. It was just it was priceless, and the guy wasn't offended, he was cool, he's been sober, I don't know, three years or something. And yeah, it was pretty funny, and I'll tell you one other story. This girl, Jesus Christ, this girl that was our guide, which she was a great guide, she was a great guide, but I have never seen so much damn hair on one girl's legs. I mean, I was just like, what in the world is going on with this chick? And she was slightly annoying, which made it a little bit worse, but overall a good guide. But boy, her legs were hairy as F. I mean, just hairy as hairy can be. So you can only imagine what the rest of her is like. Probably a total disaster. We got to catch some trout. I, of course, didn't catch any trout, but some of the guys caught some trout. They cooked it up last night. I didn't have any of it because we had already gone to dinner. And it was good though. Everything was the not the trout necessarily, but the whole trip as a whole was just really cool. And they do this trip once a year. And to be in recovery and do all the things that I just mentioned is really unlike anything I've ever seen in my life. Coming from Riley is people don't do stuff like that. There's just not that kind of tight fellowship and camaraderie amongst people. And maybe that's because the city is a little more spread out, maybe it's just that people are a bit different. And I've mentioned this on here before that the folks here in Wilmington are just it's a different kind of recovery, and I feel incredibly grateful that I get to take part in such a cool experience. And that's the kind of things that if you get sober, you get to go do. They do all kinds of trips throughout the year. Same guy that put this together, Matt. He uh he puts this whole thing together, and I'm sure it's a lot of work. And he takes us out on his boat every weekend, and we just hang out, and probably one of the most generous dudes that I've ever met. And uh and really a lot of fun to be around. And uh, like I said, the I can't guarantee this is what sobriety is gonna be like in your town, but I can tell you that's what it's like here. And it's it's just a step above anything that I've ever been a part of. And so if you if you are newer in recovery, these are the things that you get to do, and they're fun, they're so much fun, and you get to make friends that are like really great people. I couldn't have asked to be around a better group of people, all recovering addicts and alcoholics, all at some point were at the lowest part of their life, no money, no nothing, no job, at the bottom of the barrel, so to speak, just like me, just like you, if you're in recovery. We've all been through those shit times. But to see so many guys make it, and I mean not just make it, like some of these guys are absolutely crushing in their business, in their jobs, in their relationships. You wouldn't think that you would have so many successful people that at one point a lot of folks are homeless. A lot of people at one point are most of us have been in jail for something. Some of them probably in prison. Who knows? Fortunately, I dodged that, but but to see people recover is unlike anything you've ever seen. And some of the best people I know are in recovery. In fact, I don't really surround myself with anybody that's not in recovery because I love these folks. Like they're the best. They welcomed me here with open arms. And I've talked about that on here before. So look, if you have that god-awful fear that I had on the top of that cliff about getting sober, you don't need to have that because it's not what you think. You can trade this dipshit life that you have for a life that is unlike anything that you've ever seen or witnessed. Believe it or not, when you get sober, your life gets better. It may not get better at first because you've probably effed up a bunch of different things that you're going to have to pay for, you're going to have to pay a bunch of money back, you're going to have to tell a bunch of people that you're sorry. You're going to have to look in the mirror and decide do you want to be a dirt bag the rest of your life, or do you want a life worth living? And that's really the choice here. The choice is do you want to be a dirtbag the rest of your life, or do you want to have a life that's unlike anything you can imagine? I know for me, they talk about the promises in the rooms. And I thought those were a fallacy for me. I think those promises applied to me, but they have and they've come true in a million different ways, in ways that are undescribable. Relationships that have been repaired, friendships that have been repaired. It's truly remarkable what recovery gives you. But you're not going to find that out if you stay in that space of fear like I did on top of that cliff. I understand that it feels like you're going to have to jump off a 30-foot cliff when you stop drinking. It's a big decision. Or stop drugging. But the gifts and the benefits on the other side of putting that drink or drug down are remarkable. They're unlike anything you've ever imagined. And I don't expect you to trust what I'm saying. I'm just sharing my own experience. I'm not giving you a lesson on what you should do or what you shouldn't do. But my experience with putting myself in the middle of a 12-step program, working those 12-steps the way that you're supposed to work them, following directions, asking for help, has saved my life. I don't know where I'd be today if I hadn't have made the decision to do the work. And it is work. I will not sugarcoat it. It's a lot of internal work. It's a lot of just looking at yourself and deciding what decision you want to make. Keep drinking and drugging because that's where you're headed. Like there's really no positive outcome to continuing drinking and drugging. I don't know too many people. I mean, you hear about rock stars that finally get sober, or maybe they don't get sober and maybe they don't have any consequences, but they're not like me. And if you're like me, you can't drink and drug successfully and live this kind of life. Because the drink or drug steals all of your joy, it takes away all the happiness in your life. And all you know to do is to pour more booze on top of it, just like me, until I had to make a decision that I didn't want to live like this anymore. And you can make that decision. All you have to do is raise your hand and say you're an alcoholic and say that you're new. And people will wrap their arms around you, welcome you in, and offer you a path that is better than what you're on. And there's nothing to be ashamed about. There's nothing to be Yeah, there's just really nothing to be ashamed about. This is what really being a man looks like, admitting the fact that you need some help. But you can be you can be the opposite of a man or opposite of a woman and keep living a dirtbag life. When guess what? If you don't like being in recovery, you can always go back to that that shit life. You can. And your old dirt bag friends will welcome you right in to the drug house or the crack house or whatever the hell they call it. The dope where you go buy dope or the liquor store. You can always go back. The guy at the ABC store doesn't give a shit if you drink or not. He's there to sell you alcohol. The bartender doesn't give a shit if your life is falling apart or not. He's there to serve you drinks. He's just doing his job. But it's your job not to go into that bar or to that ABC store or to the crack house or whatever drug you're addicted to. So again, you don't need to listen to me. I just know that what I've done to get the life that I've gotten. And if you're interested in that, you're welcome to reach out to me. You can go through SuccessfulLife Podcast, you can.com, you can catch me on Facebook and Instagram or wherever social media channels you use. And I'll tell you exactly how I did it. What I did wrong and what I did right, and how those things have made me a better person. Because even the pain that you're gonna go through, even the discomfort, even, you know, even the days that you feel like this is just not worth it, it is worth it. And you're gonna have some of those days. They're not all gonna be rainbows and skittles, they're just not. But you'll come out a better person. And if that's what you want, there is a solution. And I hope you find it. If you're in recovery and you're listening to this and you feel like somebody else should hear it, you should share it with them. You're welcome to repost this on social media or wherever you think it would help. There's a flip side to that, it also helps us grow the show and helps us reach more people. And my only goal here, it's not like I get paid to do this. My only goal is hopefully to reach somebody in early recovery or give, you know, some uh experience, strength, and hope to somebody that is already here, and maybe they're just having a tough time. Maybe they're going through a relationship issue, and maybe they're thinking about drinking, and sometimes that drink looks really good when you've got a lot of pain in your life. But I guarantee you this there is absolutely unequivocally, without a doubt, nothing that alcohol is going to help in my life. And once you get sober, it'll be the same for you. So I appreciate you guys listening. Hope this was helpful. And uh, if you don't, if you haven't subscribed, just go to Apple Podcasts or Spotify and you can click subscribe. If you want to leave us a review, that'd be dope as well. Otherwise, have a kick ass week and stay sober.