From Divorce to a U-Haul Breakdown: The Hidden Trauma of Moving

Moving is one of the top five most stressful life events, right next to divorce, job loss & Death! And today’s guest, Julie, has lived through all three at the same time.

In this conversation, Julie, a longtime Content Marketing Strategist, now working for Bailey’s Moving & Storage, shares the brutally honest story of her 2018 move: newly divorced, raising kids alone, working a new job, avoiding the boxes she didn’t want to face, and breaking down in a U-Haul parking lot after running over a metal beam.

We explore the deeper layers behind moving that most people never talk about:

• Why packing triggers anxiety, ADHD overwhelm, and decision fatigue
• How grief, divorce, and major life transitions compound moving stress
• Relocation depression and the emotional cost of change
• What happens when life pushes you past your limit
• How professional movers can reduce the emotional and physical load

Julie brings wisdom, humor, vulnerability, and real-life resilience to a topic most people only think about logistically... not emotionally. Her story offers hope for anyone navigating moving, upheaval, or the slow work of rebuilding a life when everything feels uncertain.

Bailey’s Moving & Storage serves Colorado, Utah, interstate, and international moves, and they understand the human side of transition better than anyone.

Listen in for a conversation about change, resilience, and why moving is never “just moving.”

Bailey's website: Bailey’s Moving and Storage | Moving Company in Colorado and Utah

The article link: Why Rent, Workforce Trends, and Aging are Shaping Local Moving in CO

Bailey's YouTube: BaileysMoving - YouTube

Transcript

Speaker 1  0:00  
So something to think about, of the top five worst things you go through in life you've experienced, two, three, actually, regularly. Oh, yeah, four, four. Do you root Yeah? Divorce, moving and job loss.

Speaker 2  0:22  
It's like a shit storm, just like a perfect storm of just what on the hell. What the hell, right? There was one sales guy who told me about how this poor guy, they moved him, and I can't remember where they moved him to, but it flooded. Moving truck, they dropped it all off, and was like, Oh my gosh, yeah. And then their house flooded.

Speaker 1  0:48  
You should definitely start like an adjunct blog of just like, crazy stories extreme moving

Speaker 2  0:55  
Yeah, that's what I want to do. Is That'd be funny talk about that kind of stuff. Or, like, you know, a tornado hit. Like, right?

Unknown Speaker  1:03  
Either, here's your stuff, and there it goes.

Speaker 2  1:07  
So, just that kind of stuff, because I'm weird. I'm a weirdo. I'm a big I

Speaker 1  1:11  
think everybody's kind of weird people, like, weird stories like that, yeah? And like, hoarders, you know, Oh, yeah. Like, can you imagine moving a hoarders house? That would be my god, well, I'm

Speaker 2  1:21  
kind of a hoarder. Well, you know, me, I like to talk about the weird stuff, and so I'm like, you know, how many hoarders Have you moved like, with that? Like it was an apartment and there was this couch, and there was no way in hell that thing was spitting out the door, any of those doors, let alone down the stairs, and they had to hoist it over the balcony to get that sucker in there? And so they were able to reverse it. And I don't know how many di wires that could actually do that, and not, at the very least, pull their back out, or

Speaker 1  1:50  
whatever, my back out. You know, I'm at the stage of life where, like, I just need help, like, I can't I want to DIY everything, so I'm prideful, but goodness gracious, like there's no way I'm gonna be able to do all that.

Speaker 2  2:02  
And at that point, you might feel like that's what a man does, or whatever, but you know, that's

Speaker 1  2:08  
what man do? We lift heavy things, we break things, we kill things. Yeah, that's our job. Hey everybody, welcome back to the voyage cast. This is Eddie your host. Today, I have a guest who knows a little bit about when life falls apart and how to keep moving forward. Literally, in 2018 she was in the middle of a difficult divorce, starting a new job, raising kids and trying to pack up an entire house by herself. She'll tell you, it wasn't about the boxes or tape or moving truck. It was about holding it together while everything in her life was coming completely undone. What makes her story really interesting, at least to me, is it's a very human story. I think anybody listening to this today can relate to it. It's about exhaustion, humor, the moment she realized she couldn't do it alone, and the movers who showed up right when she hit the wall. Now I've known Julie for many years, and I've had the privilege of watching her growth and development. She's now the content marketing strategist for Bailey's Moving and Storage, the same type of company that helped her out through this impossible season of her life, and she's taking what she's learned and lived through and turning it into work that helps others, other people, face their own transitions with a little more grace and a lot less chaos she experienced. So here today to tell us a little bit about her story, but to help us kind of see moving, life change and all these kind of things through a different lens. Julie, thank you so much for joining me today, and if you want to start, go ahead and start by taking me back to 2018 and let our audience know what happened.

Unknown Speaker  3:43  
Yes, thank you.

Speaker 2  3:46  
You have seen me through a lot of stuff, just one of those, one of those times. But yes, I was living in Castle Pines and a pretty big house, and was going through a divorce, so he had already moved out, and I was left to pack everything up. And I, as you know, wasn't that great at that kind of stuff anyway, having, you know, anxiety and ADHD and just kind of being an overall hot mess. And so I completely underestimated how much I had to to pack, how long it would take to pack, and was just kind of avoiding the whole situation. Had a little bit of denial and delusion happening, and I had hired, I had rented a U haul truck, and then had asked a few friends to help me with sitting, literally, which is the worst time to figure this out at the closing table, and somebody said, you know, that's so not happening. We can't help you move this stuff. It is way too hard. And I ended up scrambling to try and find a moving company. And found the most amazing moving company ever. They showed up like. Three hours later, card lesson learned, I had to basically rent my house back to the people that had just closed on it, and, oh my gosh, 250 a day or something like that. So they came and moved me. You know, you're so exhausted at the end, I just ended up giving away a bunch of stuff. I was like, Who wants this? Who wants that? So I didn't any more time. Yeah, moving that stuff. Thank God. I only lived. You know, it was moving just a few miles from where I was originally, but I had to be out of there by, I think, two or three or something that day. And geez, so by the end, I was so frazzled. And, you know, driving this ginormous truck that I don't really, you know, know how to drive all that well. And you know, me, I'm a pretty laid back kind of human but i i literally, you know, you drive around where you when you return the U haul. And yeah, there was these people that were working there. They were working in the other they're doing some kind of construction in the parking lot. And I apparently ran over some metal thing and bent it. And we're standing there. I'm standing there with all my with my three kiddos, and this guy comes over. He was so mad at me, and he was like, you just bent this thing. Normally, I would apologize or whatever, but I was so over that whole experience. I was just like, No, I don't even care if it was that important to you, then you shouldn't have had it where trucks were driving in the first place and just told Buzz off. Everybody was like, crickets. Everybody was like, okay, just happened here? I could care less. I literally was like, I am so over it. I will. You're just

Speaker 1  6:37  
kind of an effort mode, huh? Oh yeah. It was just like, yeah.

Speaker 2  6:41  
That's, that was kind of the cherry on top of that shit. Sunday, yeah, my kids were like, Mom, I was so mean, it's like, I don't even care. You didn't even help me move my stop. You didn't even you know they were that was the worst part of it. It's like, you feel so alone. It's like, isolating. And if I had just been stronger and said, Look, everybody needs to get up, pack some boxes, put them in this u haul truck and help me, you know, and load this stuff, but I did it by myself.

Speaker 1  7:10  
So I respect ladies like that. My mom was is a tough lady. She had to do a lot herself, and had to work really hard in life, and suffered at different points pretty horribly. And it's, she's probably one of my heroes, because she's so tough and kept moving forward anyways, which is that's kind of a, like, a big part of the story too, isn't it? Right? Like you keep moving forward anyways,

Speaker 2  7:34  
yeah, you figure out. You think you know what, there were so many times where you just, you just want to have a nervous break, just a tiny little nervous breakdown, yeah, but you can't, yeah, because you got to cook dinner or, you know, but

Speaker 1  7:47  
down and then cook dinner, right, right? Yeah. I think, I think there's been a few of those.

Speaker 2  7:53  
Enjoy the I added some tears to the sauce, you know,

Speaker 1  7:59  
Mom, the sauce is great. What's the what's the trick? Salty tears.

Unknown Speaker  8:06  
Single mom tears. Enjoy

Unknown Speaker  8:08  
them. Yeah? So exhausting.

Speaker 2  8:11  
It the whole thing. Yeah? I mean, you look back and you think, wow, I I honestly don't know how I did that. I don't know how I figured those logistics out. I don't know how.

Speaker 1  8:21  
Isn't that the tough part, though, like so many people, and you know, you and I have probably talked about it, but I've probably talked about it with hundreds of people. They're in a tough spot, and the question is often like, I don't know how I'm gonna and then fill in the blank, like, get through this, do this, or whatever it is. I don't know how I'm gonna make it through. And what I find is, like, ironically, we, you know, maybe what is just one step in front of the next, we end up getting through it no matter what, regardless of how ridiculous or crazy or hard it is. I think just through time, moving forward, we

Speaker 2  8:52  
tend I just want to be I just want one thing to be better today, whether I cried for a minute less or, you know, I didn't want to cry. I only wanted to cry 10 times, you know, rather than 20, but it was long as it's just one thing that's maybe a little bitter. I was recently diagnosed with RA and rheumatoid arthritis, yeah, that's right, that kind of adds a whole new element to it, because mine, you know, I was rear ended a couple years ago, and that just, I don't know, it's so bizarre, like, I don't fit in any space, because it, you know, the the pain moves around, like my upper body, and it doesn't fit the usual pattern. It's tied to, like, working out and lifting stuff, interesting. So, like, I lifted, like I rode the bike for 20 minutes, and my right thumb swelled like twice its size,

Unknown Speaker  9:47  
like my arm, like I couldn't move my arm the next day.

Speaker 1  9:49  
Um, that's so bizarre, because isn't, isn't exercising, you know, some resistance exercise good for RA, right?

Speaker 2  9:56  
Yeah, oh, yeah. But it's so weird. Like, I, I am. Um, I was supposed to go on a business trip, and I was trying to pack. So I literally packed two suitcases because I wasn't sure, like, yeah, you know which one would be lighter, yeah? And so I picked them up, each one. And it starts as, like, a little ache, yeah? And then it just, you know, in a couple hours, it's like, I couldn't move my I couldn't go to the trip. I woke up at like, three o'clock in the morning. I couldn't move my arm. It hurt so bad. So bad, so I couldn't even go on that trip. So it was just weird. So me moving heavy stuff isn't, yeah, gonna

Speaker 1  10:29  
well, that adds, like, a whole nother layer to things. Yeah, you know, you got single mom, you've got kind of history of anxiety, HD, stuff like that. So a little bit of disorganization, a little bit of kind of thought paralysis, as you're getting overwhelmed by all the stuff in front of you back in 2018 especially, but if you had to move again. I mean, it's like, now you add ra to that, and it's a whole nother level of struggle and frustration, especially if you have to do it on your own and

Speaker 2  10:58  
you can't move your body the next day. It's like, okay, I guess I'm gonna just try and mentally, you know? So, yeah, it was very, very moving. Is traumatic. Just anyway, yeah, when you add a divorce on top of that, I mean, your whole life is changing in not a positive way, especially when you have it's compounded when you have, like, anxiety and yeah, and ADHD, and, you know, whatever else is happening in your world,

Speaker 1  11:28  
and just, just grief and loss at that point too, right? Like you're grieving the loss of a marriage, you're grieving the loss of a home, and now you have to move on and then move on again, and then you have to look at all this crap in front of you. I've moved a few times, so I know you look at all this crap in front of you, and it is unbelievable how much shit we get over the years of our life, and then we have to sort through all that stuff and then figure out what to do with it. Are we gonna bring it? Are we gonna not bring it? I mean, what is like? 40% of people say that packing is probably the most stressful part

Speaker 2  11:58  
of their life. It is the, yeah, most stressful unpacking is not too far behind it. But yes, it is. Unpacking is kind of

Speaker 1  12:06  
funny, if you think about it, like there's all those videos of people out there literally unpacking things, and we sit there and just watch them unpack or unbox things. I mean, we could just move and do that ourselves. We don't need that kind of ASMR, right? Too bad there wasn't, like, a deal with Medicaid for moving companies, because then they could, like, work with people who who are kind of disabled or struggling. I mean, that would be, that'd be a huge need, because there's so many people. I mean, I think wasn't. I think you shared some information too on, like, the transient, transient sort of nature of Colorado in some sense, like 34% of Coloradans rent. I think it was, yeah, then it's like around four or 5% are unemployed. And if you're older, if you're kind of in that Boomer generation too, like you're going to have a much harder time, especially if families not around. And culturally, we have kind of disjointed families. You know, everybody's spread apart. So there's, there's a massive need for help. It's kind of funny, because it's like, you don't think about, like a moving company is, like, a good topic, or something like that. But the truth is, is, like, moving companies should be credentialed with Medicaid

Speaker 2  13:13  
or Medicare, I mean, and have like, preferred mover, yeah, because, yeah,

Speaker 1  13:17  
there should be something like that. And they should have, like, concierge service with massage and therapy, right? I mean, obviously it should happen.

Speaker 2  13:24  
I totally agree. Yeah, it is weird, because when you look at how, because I'm a native to Colorado, okay, nobody rented back in the day, really, you know what? I mean, it wasn't like a thing. You look at New York or California, and I was like, oh my god, everybody rents. I mean, it's still more home ownership than than renting. But Right, right? So many people are putting off their plans to just, you know, be homeowners, like, buy a house, and it's just, it's sad, because there's so many factors. Now it's like Twilight Zone. Yeah, it's the Twilight Zone era. I don't even know. It's just everything is so weird. Totally.

Speaker 1  14:05  
It's so bizarre. Yeah, I mean, we should, we should have like every like for your alarm clock. It should be on this next episode of The Twilight Zone. And that's what you wake up to life. You just walk out craziness. It's weird out there, and it's good to have help. It's good to know like that, that you're not like when everything does feel alone, like you really aren't alone. And my heart goes out to you and so many people like you, the single moms out there who are struggling through it, trying to figure it out. It's it's tough, you know, tough job markets, being in and out of jobs, being just all over the place, moving a lot. And you're not the only one out there who's struggling,

Speaker 2  14:40  
and even if you are fine right now, you know, I'm sure a lot of people are just waiting for that cloud to like, you know, hover over their head, because, well, yeah,

Speaker 1  14:50  
especially if they've experienced it a few times, it's like, things might be good, but like, when's the shoe gonna drop? And so there's that kind of anxiety,

Unknown Speaker  14:58  
that sort of lose. Comes loud above

Speaker 2  15:00  
us, because that whole thing, that divorce, was my second, okay, I never would have thought that I would have moved this many times in my life. My sister, she's said something a while back, and she was like, Man, you've moved. How many times now Have you

Speaker 1  15:18  
figured it out? Have you done the numbers? Do you know how many times?

Speaker 2  15:21  
Oh, my goodness, 20. No, not that much. Close, very close. So I moved in with my first husband, and then had kids and moved into our house. Another house was like a mile away, and then got divorced, and then I bought my first town home, and we call it The Hobbit house because it was so tiny. And then from there into Castle Pines with my second husband, and then from Castle Pines to that house in the hearth, that one that I was moving into, that the the moving company saved my ass, yeah, and from there into the house we're at now. So that's like, what? Six times. So something to think about, of the top five worst things you go through in life you've experienced two, three, actually, regularly. Oh yeah, four, 4t. Route, yeah, divorce, moving and job loss. It's like a shit storm, just like a perfect storm of just what on the hell what the hell.

Speaker 1  16:40  
Right? Yeah, you should write a book of all the events,

Speaker 2  16:45  
beautiful, riveting. I always joke, you know, I if I was, I clearly do not have an addictive personality, because if I did, I would be the biggest pill popping lush,

Unknown Speaker  16:59  
given all those stressors, yeah, oh, yeah.

Speaker 2  17:02  
I mean, yeah, I would, I would be a popping Lush.

Speaker 1  17:06  
Well, I'm glad you're not, because that would,

Unknown Speaker  17:09  
we can add that I won't be seeing you for therapy, for that

Unknown Speaker  17:12  
everything else, just everything else. It's

Speaker 2  17:16  
not that. But, yeah, it's interesting, you know, because we were talking about the that white paper talks about, you know, decision fatigue and relocation depression and all that stuff, because people don't really think about that.

Speaker 1  17:32  
And the white paper is the article that you wrote for Bailey that goes through, like, all the stats, all the numbers, some of the stuff we've referenced today. I'll link that article in the show notes as well, so people can find that information, because it is interesting. I mean, when you think about, like the most stressful things of your life, like moving is considered one of the top five most stressful things you can go through, that's that's unbelievable to think about, that that is of all that, like, death, divorce, you know, like, that's up there with that, you know, again, yeah, that's old hat. That's fine, yeah, that's yeah. That's just another Tuesday for me. I know that's

Unknown Speaker  18:17  
sometimes I just pack my things up just to see how many boxes I know

Unknown Speaker  18:21  
I've got my I've got my boxes already, but

Speaker 2  18:26  
it's interesting. You know, doing the research for that, and you would know about this, but I didn't know about this. It's fascinating. The that relocation depression is considered an adjustment disorder, sure, yep. And I'd never even heard of that before. So that kind of stuff's fascinating, because I would think that on some level, most people have some kind of adjustment disorder, like, what somebody's okay with change, changing. Other people are not okay with changing, right?

Speaker 1  18:56  
Those kinds of changes? Yeah, if you grew up like a military kid and you're just like, traveling all the time, then moving is not probably won't be your top five stressful thing. But for people who don't move a lot like that's very destabilizing, yeah, and it can be very stressful, very depressing. You have new community of people. You finally get attached to somebody, they're gone now you no longer have that local support. And then you keep doing that over time, like you actually start. It's kind of like Velcro losing its stickiness, so to speak, like you stop attaching the same way to new communities, because you always know that they're going to be leaving. Yeah, you know. And so really moving a lot is probably not good for you, unless you just have to. And sometimes that's just what life is. Sometimes you just have to do it, and fair enough, and if nothing else, like getting help takes at least a little bit of that edge off. So where's Bailey's like, where do they service so people can find them if they want that kind of support, if they need to take the edge off in a healthy way, and not through a bottle of wine. You know,

Speaker 2  19:57  
they're local. Do. Denver, like, I think it's considered Inglewood, okay. And then they also have Utah, okay as well. So they do local, yeah, which is less than 50 miles. They do intrastate, which is 50 miles, okay? And then at least 50 miles. And then Interstate is from state to state, and they do international too. International, wow. So they are well known for their partnership with Allied guidelines, and they would like to, you know, get more awareness for the local, the local piece of it, and

Speaker 1  20:42  
they should figure out how to get that Medicare Medicaid contract, and then do concierge, I'm telling you,

Speaker 2  20:47  
My God, I know that's gonna crush and that would be fantastic, you know,

Speaker 1  20:52  
or, like, a food service too, you know, like, the delivery comes up and then, like, you know, taco truck or something, right, just right out front, neighbors get some tacos. You get some tacos. Like, it's good for everybody,

Unknown Speaker  21:03  
Taylor, it's good for behind

Speaker 2  21:06  
so your stuff and lunch shows up literally the exact

Speaker 1  21:09  
totally, totally, yeah, it's a party. And that way you get, you get to know the new neighbors, and who doesn't like tacos?

Unknown Speaker  21:14  
Yeah, that's genius. You're a genius. I Yeah,

Speaker 1  21:24  
that's gonna stop the procrastination, right? Because you got, like, tacos way, but I gotta hurry up and get Yeah, you know. So you're gonna help mitigate some of these difficulties

Speaker 2  21:33  
standing in the garage, just like tossing those boxes into the truck, you know, keep going international.

Speaker 1  21:41  
That's crazy, though, like it, do they, do they fly to any country. I mean, how does is it just completely over the world.

Unknown Speaker  21:49  
I haven't heard of anywhere where they wouldn't, you know, they've got

Speaker 2  21:53  
their learning center has, you know, blogs, articles, what have you. And they have, like, how to move to Hawaii, how to move to Alaska. I was asking the other day. I was like, How do you like, how many people want you to move their car too? And it's really not as expensive as I was thinking it would be the car too, but what they do typically, and I don't know if it's just me, because I find stuff like this fascinating, but maybe you won't, but you're moving when you're moving a like interstate, like, you know, to a different state, you don't have the whole truck to yourself. Because if you were just to have the whole truck to yourself, it would be, like, insanely expensive. Okay, so you have your own. They like, wall it off somehow and keep all your stuff separate. But they'll have, like, multiple houses in there. Wow. And then just, you know, figures

Speaker 1  22:46  
drop off section by section. Yeah, that's a clever idea, actually, because then it saves on drive time for them, saves on cost for you. It's kind of what's good for the goose, good for the gander, kind of situation. But that's smart.

Speaker 2  22:59  
I just started with Bailey's moving in storage. And first of all, I was laid off a while back, and it took me forever to find a job, but when I saw this company, I thought back to how that, that other moving company just literally saved my ass that day. Yeah, and so I was, I kind of had a little attachment to this, to this job. So thank God, I got it. But, yeah, so I kind of, and, you know, me, I'm like, a, I'm, like, the casual human, yeah,

Unknown Speaker  23:30  
I wanted super mellow, easy going.

Speaker 2  23:34  
I wanted to, you know, kind of touch on, like, you know, moving sucks. We all know moving sucks. Let's just say it. Let's talk about why. Let's talk about, you know, what it's like to try to pack when you have ADHD and, you know, you're distracted and well, and

Speaker 1  23:50  
just the anxiety of it all too, like, even if you don't have ADHD, but there's the anxiety of going through and the stress of going through moving,

Speaker 2  23:58  
emotional piece, you know, I had, I've talked to a lot of the sales teams and the operational teams, like the packing crews and and crew members, and yeah, they said that it takes about three times longer to pack because you are attached to all the stuff you're touching the house. You attach the memories, and you'll sit there and flip through the photo album, right that you just unearthed

Speaker 1  24:21  
from, from the previous time you moved? Probably, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2  24:26  
And so they said that, you know, they can go in and literally just pack your house up in a day where it takes you weeks, months,

Speaker 1  24:33  
when the people came to to help you back in 2018 to move. Did they come and pack you up also, or did you still have to do a lot of that. They just move the boxes for you.

Speaker 2  24:42  
They move the boxes for me. I think, okay, yeah, because I completely and you know me, I avoid stuff like, I mean, well, like anybody else, I know you've, you've been professional about it, but I know sometimes you're like, looking at me like, Oh my God, I don't even know what. Huh? I don't even know what to tell you, but my dad made

Unknown Speaker  25:05  
so much here.

Speaker 2  25:08  
Yeah, I mean, I know you've, you know, sometimes you're like, Well, that was an interesting choice. Oh yeah, I did not. I was so and I, yeah, I had started, I was working at that construction job, which I was so just a fish out of water in that any you know, anyway, and just there was so much that was, like, physically tough and emotionally tough, and so I had not packed anybody walking you in the house, even, like, Girl, I don't even know what you were thinking. Yeah. I mean,

Speaker 1  25:41  
there's a lot of people probably, like, last minute packing and just trying to throw I mean, I know, like, when it got up to the wire, when I moved recently, I mean, I I was literally, I didn't know what it was. I was just throwing stuff in boxes and just taping it up because I had a deadline. So, like, you hit that deadline, it's just like, I got to get it done. God, if I could have afforded it, though, man, I would have people just come and pack my house for me any day.

Speaker 2  26:01  
That's the kind of the catch 22 where, you know, people, I think, typically want to just DIY it for the most part. But really, I think in the end, it actually ends up costing more, because, you know, when you rent the truck and then you take, you know, time off work or whatever, or you have to rent your house back, which I was lucky. I got it done. If I didn't have that moving company, I would have, I would have been a very long time. I would have been running a house pack for a while. So I'll be there. I will also say just the tip from being to you if you're going to be moving at some point, if you're, you know, selling your house and you have to be out that day of clothes to in the contract. Say, look, I need, you know, this amount of time to get my ass out the door, right. So try to put that in the contract. Yeah. So a little tip for me to you, because if I had had that, it would have been a totally different story.

Speaker 1  26:57  
But, yeah, that's actually good, because we probably, I mean, I know I did, sounds like you did, but we all underestimate probably how long all this is going to take and how exhausting it's going to be. I mean, I probably do most of the moving of boxes every time I've ever moved. And it's, it's a lot. And if you're a woman doing it by yourself, that's, that's way worse.

Speaker 2  27:18  
Oh, any of those packers at Bailey's. Can walk in there and say, oh, you know, this is probably going to be, like, certain number of pounds. And, you know, this is how many boxes you need, like, just on average, yeah, a two bedroom house is between 60 and 70 boxes. So we don't have that knowledge to say, oh, I need to, because at the time, and so you're trying to break it into chunks, and you think, oh, you know what, if I pack two or three boxes today, I'm good, I'm really good. But no, nobody wants to help you move either. I know people help you move, but,

Speaker 1  27:51  
yeah, I think it was in the article you wrote for Bailey's, but it's something like, people make, like, 35,000 decisions a day. Like, it's one less thing to think about. I mean, we have such decision fatigue. I mean, that's why in and out so successful as a restaurant, because the menu is limited. There's no decision fatigue, you know. And like to pack up a house, like, you're just going to be a zombie, yeah? And then you struggle, it puts her on, like, anxiety ADHD, divorce.

Speaker 2  28:18  
Like, yeah, if you work, if you're a single mom or dad, if you're working full time or part time, or maybe you were just laid off, and that's why you're moving, because you're like, downsizing parents or something. And then, you know, because looking for a job is, like, a full time job,

Speaker 1  28:34  
dude, no kidding. That sucks that you had to go it alone back then. Oh my gosh, yeah, it's not the first time you've had to do some things alone.

Speaker 2  28:43  
My choices of partners haven't been fantastic, and so, yeah, I've become one strong bitch. I'll tell you that, because,

Speaker 1  28:55  
yeah, I have that's hopeful, right? Because other other ladies out there, who who are single, doing it themselves, there's hope, because they can eventually grow up to become one strong bitch, just like you. So, oh yeah, that's great,

Unknown Speaker  29:08  
menopausal, strong bitch. But

Speaker 2  29:12  
yeah, so that's so funny. It's good to know that you can do that stuff on your own, though, absolutely right, like well, and

Speaker 1  29:20  
then there's companies out there that can help, and different things out there to help. I mean, that's, oh, absolutely, you know, I help people for a living, because sometimes they're on they're on their own, and they're struggling, and so, you know, there's, there's all that support out there. But I think probably the hardest part about it is, like, what would it be like, humbling ourselves enough to say, hey, I need the help, help

Speaker 2  29:39  
and a good therapist. So many things

Unknown Speaker  29:44  
I'm always glad to be there for you. My mom

Speaker 2  29:46  
dying, and just Yeah, literally, you've seen I was thinking about that the other day because your kiddo, like, I think I knew you right when he was so tiny. And so I've known you for a very long time, long time.

Speaker 1  30:00  
Yeah, yeah. So one thing that you shared with me in the in the article is the idea that we're creatures of habit. I'm wondering if you can talk to me more about that.

Speaker 2  30:10  
Well, you get into like, what's comfortable for you, and I have, you know, from our sessions and all of that, you kind of have to look at yourself and say, you know, I, I like to take the easy way out. I will put that off. Or I, you know, will just allow myself to not do something. And so you can get into like, that physical habit of, I get up every day, and I, you know, make coffee and blah, blah, blah. Then you also kind of get into your, like, your mental or emotional habits too, where you're like, Oh, that's too hard. I'm just gonna give up on that right now. And so I think, you know, people get into their just their habits when they're when their life is changing too. I think those habits kind of show up where you do put stuff off until the last minute, and then the moving truck's pulling up, and you're like, oh shit.

Unknown Speaker  31:02  
Room is like, not done,

Speaker 1  31:05  
like with with like moving or divorce, or any of these major life transitions, which you've been through in spades. I think when we establish habits on the in between, I think everybody feels this, but we all get so thrown off. And it's like even our nervous system will go out of whack. You know, you talk about, like, packing boxes or something. It's like you're going to get frozen just staring at stuff or getting sentimental. And, you know, your whole system's thrown off. Your you might get late picking up your kid from school because your system's thrown off, or, you know, whatever, like, you might realize it's 2am and you're reminiscing why you should be packing boxes. Like, it's really difficult when we're creatures of habit, and most humans are creatures of habit. I don't I haven't met anybody who's not they might have been an alien. If they're not, it affects everything, body, sleep, energy, emotions, physical, well being. I know for me, like, I have back issues. So like, if I'm moving a lot, I'm going to experience, well, potentiality, I'm an experience like my back going out on me, and then it puts all the pressure on my family to figure out what what's next. Since, since I usually do all the heavy lifting,

Speaker 2  32:12  
it's interesting, because I think that decision fatigue also comes into play. Because if it's not in your nature, you're kind of learning to be strong when you get you hit that point where you're, like, I am so because I used to think this all the time, I am so tired of having to figure stuff out, I don't even know what to do with myself. Like, I can't even handle, like, a hang nail, like, if I have to put a band aid on my finger, that's like, too much to you know what I mean? Like, I can't handle, you know, a bad hair day. At this point, I'm literally going to be in a straight jacket in a padded room, like five minutes away from that. So I think that also comes into play, because you learn from, I have learned from each, you know, little disaster in my life, right? These little disasters have if I have grown and learn, you know, like you've given me tools and just you say, okay, you know what? Next time I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna put that off. I'm just gonna pick that shit up and call it a day. At some point though, you become so just overwhelmed, because it's too much. And then you just, you kind of revert back to, oh my god, I I just need to sit here and, you know, whatever your vice is, read a book, or I need to go shopping, or I'm gonna sit on the Amazon order a bunch of shit I don't need, or, you know, whatever, more stuff to pack. Or drinks, yeah, like I, you know, it's one I can't pack another box until I have some wine. It's just, you know, we all kind of, I think, sabotage, or just, we fall into those old patterns, even though we've maybe outgrown them.

Speaker 1  33:39  
But anybody who gets really stressed out is going to revert back to either previous negative patterns of behavior, or they might even develop new ones if they really didn't, if they've never been kind of stressed to that limit before, like you really don't know who you are, in some sense, until you get pushed to that limit, and then you learn new things about yourself, you learn what you're capable of negatively and positively, like what kind of terrible person you can become, or kind of how amazing you can be in certain circumstances, you know? And that's where a lot of people snap, like they just cannot handle another thing, another band aid, another bad hair day, another whatever. Because it's just everything builds up to whatever that limit is, and then when you're stressed out, that's when we often time, myself included, revert back to stupid behavior. You know, for me, it's like snapping at my family, or being irrationally angry or something like that, just something dumb where, like, nobody's deserving of that, but I'm just out of my mind in those moments. You know,

Speaker 2  34:37  
it comes out somewhere, like, you know, when my mom was, you know, sick and all that, usually what keeps you going is that you're like, I'm going to be okay. Everything's going to be okay in the end. But that just completely demolished, that right wasn't okay in the end. She died. And it's weird because your mind just kind of, it literally feels like it's breaking. I remember having my sister, I was out there. You know, my mom was sick, and she was in hospice and all that. And I remember my sister's fiance at the time, you know, husband now, but he started talking about, like, the death rattle, and just like, it took a minute for it to catch up, and then I literally had like a panic attack, like I was, you know, dry heaving, and just I was, my hands were numb, and I'm like, wandering. I felt so bad for my sister, so it was like, two o'clock in the morning, and I'm like, I'm not gonna survive this. I'm not gonna survive, you know, just you don't know at that point you are. At that point, you're just, I literally, I don't even know what to do with myself. I can't even control this. But we all did our all of our strengths did kind of shine also, because I was, like, the researcher, and I found trials and learned all about, like, compassionate use, and I had her, she would have been in that trial if she just had a little longer of a, you know, time, yeah. And then my sister was so good at organizing all the the her medication and, you know, stuff like that. And so it's kind of like that you just don't know who you're going

Speaker 1  35:58  
to become. You don't know what you're capable of. You don't know how you're going to handle it until you get there. Until you get there. I think a lot of people make assumptions, like, I don't know about you, but like, before I had kids, I remember judging parents. Oh, right, you remember. And then, and then you have kids, you're like, I am so sorry to all of you parents. Oh my god, I judged in the grocery store when your kids are melting down and I want to kill you. You know what I mean? And so, like, we all think we're going to be a certain way before, well, before we get there, before we actually experience those things. You don't, you just don't know what it's going to be like. I mean, I think that's why not to, like, overly plug it. But I think that's why like, having things like moving companies or things like any kind of support is so valuable, especially if you're doing on your own,

Speaker 2  36:42  
yeah, especially people that know that world that's they live in, that world that, yeah, you know, they can walk in and they're like, You know what? We got this, you sit down, you have some tea, or you have a glass of wine, and we're

Speaker 1  36:52  
gonna have you see, you know what? You guys, you got to talk to the guys at Bailey, because that would be a whole feature, you know. So you bring the moving company, and then you have another car of like, Pampers that show up. And they come in a glass of wine, right? And then you put your feet up. Maybe it's a foot massage. The movers are jealous watching you get pampered, but hey, they're getting paid for the job. These other people come in just giving you a little scalp massage, just relaxing you out that would be next level service you guys should add like a concierge

Unknown Speaker  37:24  
and do the mental massage.

Speaker 1  37:26  
I'll come in and we'll talk about clearly

Unknown Speaker  37:30  
you're overwhelmed. Tell me about that.

Unknown Speaker  37:34  
Tell you about it. My house is in disarray,

Unknown Speaker  37:37  
unless you have some wine in your pocket, I don't want to talk to you. Oh my gosh, that would actually be perfect. I think

Speaker 1  37:49  
that's so funny. That reminds me, I have this I've had clients over the years say to me, and it's, it's kind of funny, you know? And I don't really ask this question anymore, because I've gotten it so much, but it's like, so like, what's, what's that? Like, you know that you're going through that, and they'll be like, the fuck do you think it's like, I'm here, everything sucks, and I'm like, my bad. Like, I I'm an idiot. I shouldn't have asked that question.

Speaker 2  38:14  
You sucks ass. I haven't taken a shower in like, a week. What do you think? Like, dreadlocks.

Speaker 1  38:20  
Now that's funny. So tell me, is there, is there any plug that you want to give for Bailey's? Any kind of details or thoughts about moving that you think would be really important for generally, people to know whether they use Bailey's or not?

Speaker 2  38:37  
Bailey's has been around for, almost a 50 years or something. But they're unique because they so many like the CMO, the Chief Marketing Officer, started as a teenager, moving, either packing or driving the truck or something, and he is now the CMO. And it's, there's so many people that I've talked to that they started in, like moving or, you know, just like packing all that, and have stayed long enough and worked their way up, which is, is hard, you know, it's hard to find a company that treats their people that well.

Speaker 1  39:17  
Well, it's like family. You stay if, you feel good, like you're gonna stay, you know, yeah.

Speaker 2  39:23  
I mean, it's, and you know me, I've, I have felt like a corporate misfit, like an alien entire corporate career.

Speaker 1  39:32  
I mean, the jury's still out on if there is some kind of alien DNA. We're not sure.

Speaker 2  39:37  
Well, if there is corporate alien DNA, I have it for sure.

Speaker 1  39:42  
So do you have any other thoughts, anything else you want to share about Bailey's?

Speaker 2  39:46  
You know, they're just, they really are, like, the real deal, yeah, and they do talk to me, and they do it right, like they don't, you know, they they know how to wrap it, and so it's not gonna break, you know, it stays intact.

Unknown Speaker  39:57  
And, yeah, do they have, like, a separate wrap?

Unknown Speaker  40:00  
Rapping team, um, I don't know. I don't think they did. They could call them the M M's.

Speaker 1  40:07  
I love that. We should do a meme on that. That would be hilarious, yeah. Why do you call them that? Because they're the rappers I love that.

Speaker 2  40:19  
I love that. That's awesome. I love it. I'll put

Speaker 1  40:24  
all the links in the show notes for anybody that's interested, anybody that wants to check out the article that Julie has written to go over all those stats and all those interesting numbers on moving and all the things that are going along with that, especially in the state of Colorado. And thank you, Julie, so much for joining me today on the voyage cast. I appreciate your time and the good laughs, and it's awesome you as always. And if anybody is interested, not just in those things, also subscribe and give us five stars and all those things that the algorithm overlords know what to do and know how to share this information with others, and that will be it for today.

Speaker 2  41:01  
Thank you so much. It's awesome. You're welcome. I do have a little bit of inner hoarder, just just a little touch. My inner hippie and my inner hoarder are like, besties.

Speaker 1  41:12  
You just need, like, a bunch of yurts out on a property, and you can just, like, be a hippie, keeping all your stuff out there, exactly?

Speaker 2  41:22  
Yeah, all those cats and dogs I'm adopted when I retire,

Speaker 1  41:27  
they're all just roaming free range on the property. Yeah,

Speaker2  41:30  
it's gonna be so cool.

Speaker 1  41:33  
I'm sure there's a lot of people who are like, Man, that sounds like paradise, and others just like hell, like hell running.

Speaker2  41:41  
They're big on the tennis shoes right now. The opposite direction, but yeah