Boujee Blondes
Boujee Blondes is presented by Melissa Clarke and Simone Grace.Join the ladies for girly chats full of fun and laughter - chatting about life, relationships and much more in a comfortable safe place. women empowerment and sisterhood is the sense of belonging that this podcast interprets. the atmosphere hopes to provide a safe place for everyone to go for advice whilst feeling accepted and understood. Melissa and Simone share their own life experiences which entails lots of blissful, loving and embarrassing moments but also mistakes throughout life. Speaking to diverse groups of people from different walks of life on various subjects. A weekly episode not to be missed - every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms. If you would like to contact the girls please email Boujeeblondespodcast@gmail.com
Boujee Blondes
Toxic truths, People pleasing & what is self-love
Before Simone heads back to Dubai, the girls sat down for our final in-person chat and shared all the juicy details of our daily grind.
In this heartfelt episode, they tackle the tough topic of toxic relationships and the emotional fallout of discovering a partner's double life. We've all faced those heart-wrenching moments where we must decide whether to expose the truth or protect our own mental health. Sharing their personal stories, they highlight how such experiences can leave lasting scars and impact future trust and relationships. Sometimes, the hardest yet most liberating choice is to walk away without looking back.
Lastly, they shift focus to the importance of self-love and boundaries. It’s more than just spa days and bubble baths; it's about respecting yourself and surrounding yourself with positive energy. They talk about the pressures of social media, setting strong boundaries, and the power of gratitude and journaling to foster self-contentment. Embrace your emotions and let’s make every minute count - all 1440 of them! Join the girls in there happy place for a therapeutic session that’s sure to uplift and inspire.
It's the Bougie Blondes podcast with Melissa and Simone, available on Spotify, apple or wherever you get your podcasts. Now let's get bougie. Hi, I'm Melissa. Hi, I'm Simone. Our podcast is serving you.
Speaker 2:Bestie vibes, we are just two country girls chatting about all things we struggle with daily life.
Speaker 1:And, of course, talking about certain issues that some people are afraid to speak about. We give it to you real, while having crack along the way. Remember, these are just our opinions, gals, don't take us too seriously. We're just giving you some best friend advice. Welcome to the Bougie Blondes podcast. You're very welcome. We're back again. We're back again In the same room.
Speaker 2:In the same room. In the same room. This is the last episode for a bit that we're in the same room.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we need to, though. Yeah, get me out to Dubai, I think yes.
Speaker 2:Get Melissa out to Dubai. I'm back then, of course. Yeah, so we'll be in the same room for many episodes.
Speaker 1:Many Again yes.
Speaker 2:Definitely it has to be a thing. It has to be a thing. But I feel like I'm going to put you in my suitcase with me and just bring you over. Yeah, I wonder what keep mind if you came over for like a month.
Speaker 1:Maybe a year, maybe a year. Imagine That'd be the dream. It's the financial freedom I need, the financial freedom. That's all I ever want in life. Don't need the financial freedom.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Just to live life live our best lives.
Speaker 1:you know?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know what People are like.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, you see, like do you know the the most of the world. Like blah, blah, blah. You're, you're living in Dubai. Like you're going here, going there. I'm like I'm in an office Monday to Friday. What are you on about? Yeah, you can get the sun. You're hustling, hustling. So you're hustling, hustling and grinding. So she is over there. She's not even seen a bit of the sun. No, nothing like. Feel sorry for me yeah everyone feels sorry for this one.
Speaker 2:No, but like yeah isn't it like we all. It's so like we just need to end the law, yeah just I think, like, what, like, why?
Speaker 1:like you know, people say, oh, why do you want to work? Like we don't want to work. Then again I get bored yeah, I think you've had a project though, like if you were doing something that you really wanted to do.
Speaker 2:Do you know, do you know what my dad said to me oh yesterday.
Speaker 2:Well, he was like I swear. He said I'm convinced you just want to give yourself a hard time. And I said what do you mean? He said you're home on a holiday. And he said and you haven't sat on that sofa once. He said you're over there, you're working, you're going to this, you're going to that, you don't have time, you're at home, you don't have work. And he said you're rushing and racing like there's no tomorrow, but I feel like I can't.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I feel like I get like adrenaline rush yeah like being constantly on the go yeah, and I feel like you need things, though, to keep you, like, motivated.
Speaker 2:Yeah don't you definitely. But like I'm just, like you know the kardashians, they're like. We want to be on the beach every day drinking mimosas. Yeah, would we be able to do it? I feel like we'd be able to do it for a week I think if you did it every day, you get bored.
Speaker 1:Like I wouldn't be able to drink every day, I wouldn't be drinking, m drinking most every day.
Speaker 2:I'd vomit I feel like what we'd love to do every day it would be get up yeah, go to the gym, go to yoga, go to yeah, do the podcast. Yes, yeah, do a contest, have projects yeah, yeah, like, create our own little like yeah yeah, we need to we need to do that you'll have your own business, kind of.
Speaker 1:But like I mean like yeah, but like I'd like something that you don't need to like. You know where it's like an active like, because I feel like in my line of work you're like it's like you're working hourly to get an income. Do you know I mean where, like you need something that's like working in the background to be financially. Do you get what I mean?
Speaker 2:because we need this we need this.
Speaker 1:This is this is the life we're living, our best lives right now. I'm looking at all these. I feel like the wine. We need to crack it open, open it up. 10 o'clock white o'clock, what's up five o'clock somewhere. Five o'clock, what's up it's five o'clock somewhere. It's five o'clock somewhere. Mouldie on the podcast my poor grandmother, my uncle, come and she put me up and be like what, the hell what? She's with that. Clark one again Fuck it, she's a bad influence.
Speaker 2:Imagine.
Speaker 1:Imagine no.
Speaker 2:We do need a holiday. We do need a holiday. I need to get to the Byelats who set no, we do need a holiday.
Speaker 1:We do need a holiday. I need to get to Dubai. Lads who set the gop on me, the girls need a break. The girls are so stressed. They need a break in Dubai. They need a break from life they need to just be together for a week, just to chill, have some mimosas in the sun yeah we do. We've had a busy week. We do a busy week of just being ourselves. I love it. We don't need a holiday.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we do, we need a holiday like something we need.
Speaker 1:We say this yeah when I think if you just book it, then it has to happen it's like when the holiday comes out of the the group chat yes, that's what we need. Yes, that's what we. That is what we need 100%. Just breathe. Melissa and Simone are here to listen okay.
Speaker 2:So on this week's Juicy Dodgers Dilemma we have Hi guys, I hope you're well. I need your help massively. I'm seeing a guy and I'm proper in love with him. In brackets he's probably the biggest red flag, but anyway, I think it's becoming extremely toxic. I'm after catching him out on so many lies and I think he's actually in another relationship.
Speaker 2:So the message is on his phone and I've seen pictures of this in brackets child and he's saying it's his nephew. I've spoke to his sister. She doesn't have a child. She said it's his. He said that I'm crazy and I'm lying, but I love him. What do I do? He thinks that I'm psychotic and that I'm making up all these scenarios in my head, but I love him and I don't want to let him go, as I feel like what we have is real Black black flag.
Speaker 1:I'm like black black flag. I'm like is she the black flaggers? Oh, this is a black flag. Like, no, like.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, now no, but you need to dump his ass into ray whelan's bin how does she think, like I'm sorry, I know you're in a bit of a word at the minute, but like how do you think that it's okay for him to be in another relationship? Yeah, have a child. His sister is telling you yeah, that he has.
Speaker 1:He's calling her a psychotic.
Speaker 2:He's telling her she's. You know what. This is reminding me of the girl on the train oh my god, yeah, it is.
Speaker 1:This is girl on the train.
Speaker 2:Vibes it is yeah, it's like he's basically telling her she's crazy, but he's the one that's actually, yeah, doing all the work in the background.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but he wants his cake and he wants to eat it as well. That's the problem. He wants them both.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but that's like. I think this one now is a how does he?
Speaker 1:think, like from like his own mindset, that he's going to get away with this like for the next like 20 years. I don't like the child's gonna grow up and come this like for the next, like 20 years. I don't understand, like the child's, going to grow up and come looking for him, exactly so like.
Speaker 2:The fact of the matter is how would like if they're together, right, because she didn't really put it in how far? Away they live or whatever. Yeah, yeah, if he's living down the road, how does she not know?
Speaker 1:Do you get me he?
Speaker 2:could like be still seeing the roman. No, I think so. Basically, yeah, it said on the dilemma oh, he is with the roman. He's clearly in a relationship. Oh, basically, okay, I'm sorry because the sister yeah, so he's clearly in another relationship Avast's sister and she said that the child is his, so like. So, he's going home to your mom, just coming to her then for a bit of, but why don't she get the sister, unless the sister probably don't want to be involved maybe?
Speaker 1:But why doesn't this? If she went to the sister and said it's his child, would the sister like, not like, say it to the woman that he is in the relationship with?
Speaker 2:number one like this is getting complicated yeah this is just fucking this is what I mean. It's like something. I don't care what you have you don't have anything.
Speaker 1:Good, I'm sorry, that's not love. That's not love, that's just manipulation. Yeah, like he's toxic, it's toxic like it's becoming toxic.
Speaker 2:It's already fucking toxic.
Speaker 1:It was toxic, yeah it was toxic since you met him like.
Speaker 2:That's just you know what is very hard though, for like and I feel like if I was in her situation. Like you think that a man is so like in love with you and, yeah, he does everything for you and this, that and the other, and then you find out that he actually is living another life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like devastating, like you'd be so heartbroken, I think it's wrong with some people like, and especially in her case, like or whatever it may be, like she's probably so in love with the thought of the person that he actually is, rather than the actual person, that he is I think that happens to a lot of women the one that's happened to like, even like me in the past.
Speaker 1:Like you, you have this vision of this person, this person and what relationship you want and like where it's gonna go and we're gonna do this and this. So you're really thinking of the future version of yourself with this man, but you're not actually living in the present.
Speaker 2:This man actually doesn't exist, he's. He's an imaginary yeah, he is, but she's not living in the present. This man actually doesn't exist. He's an imaginary friend in your head yeah, he is.
Speaker 1:But she's not living in the present moment because clearly the present moment is sending, the universe is sending her fucking signs. Yeah, like it's like girl, stop, stop, stop. But the one thing I will say is I don't think you're crazy? No, she's not crazy.
Speaker 2:I don't think you're crazy.
Speaker 1:I makes me angry. Yeah, how men can actually treat. Yeah, but that's on him, that's not you like, and I think you need to run. Yeah, I'd like I'd gone. Like I called the other girl's house I would, so would I a hundred?
Speaker 2:I'm like a day that he's in work, then again I'm kind of like like I get all these scenarios in my head.
Speaker 1:You really want to break up that family, like, yeah, I know, I think of that the same, but then do you not think that she has the right you?
Speaker 2:want to actually know that it's true, because you love someone so much you're kind of like so you're in denial of it as well. Yeah, yeah. I don't know what she should do, you know?
Speaker 1:I think she I'd walk away. In one part you're like the other lady should know, but then you're like you're breaking up a family because there's a child involved, and then would she believe it as well. So then you're getting into another scenario. So sometimes I think you're off your best bet off walking away.
Speaker 2:I think personally. In my opinion, if you actually genuinely think that he's, he has this completely other life yeah, you're hurting or whatever it may be, and yet the other woman probably needs to know. Yeah, but for your own head and your mindset, I'd walk away yeah I just walk.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because I wouldn't even give him an explanation, I think I just ghost him yeah yeah, like he doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve to say, like he doesn't deserve to have you crying in front of him because he's just going to manipulate anyway, he's just going to make her feel worse, he's basically saying that she's lying about the woman.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that she's toxic, yeah, when he is, oh, he's the one that's toxic, like, and it's a clear black, black black flag, yeah, but I don't think he needs professional help. He does need professional help, he does. He does like because that's not right, that he's treating women no, do you know what I mean? Like woman number one and number two, and he's a child like do you know who I feel sorry for in all of this?
Speaker 2:the child, yeah, it's the child. It's the child, yeah, because, like, see, if I was her as well, I'd be thinking about the child I'd be, like I don't want any aggro or drama, that's it like it's it.
Speaker 1:What's the thing I was looking at the other day? It's um cause and effect. So basically, your actions have consequences on other people. So this is what's happening right now. So, like your man the pricks actions, like you're affecting your child's mental health because is he picking up on the way he's treating women? Do you know I mean? Like it's not just one person. You're affecting your child's mental health because is he picking up on the way he's treating women? Do you know what I mean? Like it's not just one person. You're affecting like three people in this scenario. Like would a childless monkey see a monkey, exactly do you know what I?
Speaker 1:mean like and now you're actually affecting this girl that's at the right end of his, her mental health, because she'll never trust another man again and she'll have insecurity issues. Do you know what I?
Speaker 2:mean, and I'll put my hand up and say a lot of women are the way they are because of past relationships yeah, 100%.
Speaker 1:And I'm not saying that it's it's women. It happens to men yeah, women can scar men oh yeah, 100% they can't. Yeah, do you get?
Speaker 2:me. I'm not saying it's all no, but it's just if bad relationships can scar people, whether you're a man or a woman.
Speaker 1:Yeah, do you know I mean? And then it affects you from having good relationships in the future because you're so used to your that fear of going back to that being hurt, do you know? I mean, yeah, I think she needs to run. I think I wouldn't even give an explanation it's been gone. Just go, just don't, just just block I I'd leave, I respectfully, just because realistically. Saying it to him is not going to change the marriage. This is the way he's acting anyway.
Speaker 2:If he's calling it psychotic and to be, honest with you, like he may be saying that you're his world, this, that and the other, but he's, he's lying, no, he's lying.
Speaker 1:He's lying a lot of like. Married men do this though.
Speaker 2:I don't know, do some people go through midlife crises?
Speaker 1:I think so. I think they just forget, like I think what men is they? I don't know. They just don't like being all the attention on them, and then they have a wife and a kid and there's people depending on them and the kind of fun is gone, yeah, and they just need an escapism. Yeah, I think it is. It's wrong. I feel like if you're not happy in a relationship, just end it and then go off, because she'll find someone.
Speaker 2:A hundred percent she'll find someone. Yeah, even though my heart, but he's gonna do this.
Speaker 1:Even if this girl leaves him, he's gonna find another girl to do so. Do you know what I mean? She's gonna be trapped, but that's the thing yeah I I'd leave gone I wouldn't even get an explanation of the goal. No, no, he doesn't serve one. No definitely not he's psychotic on, not her, I think he's psychotic?
Speaker 2:yeah, he is. He's very crazy yeah, very you need help?
Speaker 1:yes, definitely, I can recommend a therapist if you want he needs to go in the bin.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and the general waste bin.
Speaker 1:I always say this it's not to be recycled no, that is not worth recycling. Go away. I light my fire. Yeah, light my fire, light my fire. Come in Raymonds bin and bye in the ocean. Now we're becoming serial killers. Serial killer podcast. Get rid now. But, yeah, no, you need to get rid of them, girl, because you're worth more than that. You are worth more, and so you need to remind yourself of remember who you are. Yeah, you were worthy and you're beautiful, and that is all you need to know. Bye felicia, bye felicia. So, on this week's topic, we're chatting a little bit about self-love, and is self-love selfish? So this is a topic that I feel is needed because I think we neglect our self-love, for like expectations of others yes, 100%, don't we?
Speaker 2:yeah yeah, we really do and, like I said, I know this all comes down to like your mindset, like who you surround yourself yeah and like if you're constantly surround negative negativity or negative people or people that are just going to put you down constantly like you're just going to form into this person that you're not able to blossom yeah, it's so true, and you feel trapped yeah and do you know where I see it happening? A lot is in workplaces. Yeah, it is yeah like, or even, and friendships, or, wherever maybe like it does happen everywhere.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I feel like most of the stories that I hear like happens either in a classroom, or in a workplace? Yeah, it is. What do you think?
Speaker 1:like I feel, like for self-love, like like people think, oh, it's not, like I know you can have self-love days where you get massaged and you do this and you give yourself a bath, but it's not. It's about respecting yourself and listening to like your own inner voice and listen to that like inner child. And I feel that we neglect that sometimes because we're constantly in a world of judgment, of criticism by others, expectations by others, and then we start to like neglect our self-love because we become a people we do.
Speaker 2:That's what I mean.
Speaker 1:It happens a lot it's where it comes from is in a classroom or the workplace we're listening to others, yeah and I feel like we don't even have our own minds half the time because we're so influenced by other people's opinions that we just don't even have.
Speaker 2:We don't know who we are anymore we don't like and it's and you know what the biggest one is, as well as social media. Yeah, it is, it is, it is and, like I put my hands up and say it, like I can get, and we all can, yeah, get very insecure, yeah you know you can open up your phone and you could look at someone and be like, oh my god.
Speaker 2:But you need to understand and I think we both had this conversation before as well. As you know, we're all different, we're all unique. Yeah, we. If we all look the same and if we all thought the same and had the same things going on in our everyday life yeah, we're just aliens. How boring would it be.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it'd be so boring like so boring like there's nothing better than meeting, like I feel someone different, someone different, different personality, and, like you, learn so much from other people's personalities as well that you wouldn't think of. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1:well, I don't know if people actually think that just getting a massage makes everything better even though it feels good it feels good in the moment, but I think it's in it's it gets deep, it's inner work, like I feel like self-love is sitting down and actually respecting yourself, your boundaries, and choosing and who are people that you need in your life. Because I feel like the people in your life are gonna, if they're wrong, they're gonna send you down the wrong path, and I I don't mean like as if, like you, were going out doing crimes or anything but in yourself, it's going to set you back because you're just, you're not been able to fully evolve, you're not able to blossom. You're not able to blossom, no, and I, like you just don't have boundaries because you're suiting their boundaries or you're suiting their expectations, or do they like me? Okay, well, I won't say this because they're not going to agree with this. It's their opinions that matter.
Speaker 1:So, like, I think self-love is really important, like just been comfortable with who you are. But, yeah, like, I think that I don't know, like, and I think this stems from, like, honestly, secondary school, yeah, and childhood, like I think childhood is a bit of it, because it's the way you're like, nourished, but then I think secondary school is the big test where, like, because you're at that age as well where you're like you're not comfortable anyway, who you?
Speaker 2:are, and you don't even know who you want to be exactly. And then you're manipulated by other people and you're trying to fit in and yeah, it's just and I always remember, like my parents saying this to me you can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends true, that is so. That's wise words okay, yeah, and I never really got it. When I was younger I was like yeah, of course, like I can't choose my friends, my friends are just my friends, yeah yeah but you actually, you can, yeah, you can and you can.
Speaker 2:You can choose your family also oh, you can.
Speaker 1:Just because they're family doesn't mean that it doesn't mean that, like sometimes, you need to just block people out regardless yeah, so it's not selfish to cut people out of your life if it, if they're not like for your best interest, if they're not giving you what you were giving them, is not selfish to block them out no, not at all.
Speaker 2:No, someone is making you feel so miserable? Yeah, like, of course you can. You're so entitled to do that and it doesn't matter, like I said, if it's at home, if it's in the workplace yeah if it's your best friend since you're a child, yeah, it does not matter. Some people just change, like we said previously, yeah people evolve people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, can sometimes become bad, yeah they can like, a hundred percent like, and they're not always like you could be like best friends with someone, since they're a child and they could have been the nicest we are ever and something could have happened them, yeah, just turned them toxic and bitter, yeah, and you don't know why but, you just need to release it and let them go. Yeah, sometimes I think you try your best to help somebody else yeah and they the help just doesn't work sometimes I just don't want.
Speaker 1:They don't want to help themselves either, like, and I think, if you're in a relationship, and especially as a woman, if in a relationship, whether it's a man or woman to you, and they are constantly judging you no matter what you do, criticizing you on the smallest of things, you don't deserve that and that is to me, is, as we say, a black flag. Like that's a black flag like.
Speaker 1:That is a situation where you need to go home and assess is this person really my friend? Is this person really who I want to spend the rest of my life with? If it's a partner, why are they doing that to me? And the thing is, it's them, not you like. It's them issue, not you a hundred percent like, well, I just don't.
Speaker 2:I'd never get people that want to burn other people down. Yeah, I actually genuinely don't. No, it makes no sense, yeah, whatsoever. I just don't get it, but I do feel like sometimes, being human and being normal, it can be very hard to understand why somebody wants to do this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think that's why it affects you more 100% does that make sense, and you know that's a really good point, because you have to remember if someone is constantly being judgmental to you, criticizing you, they're not the ones that are suffering, you're the one that goes home upset, and then what happens is you try to change. Yeah, you try to change, just meet their needs, which is fucking wrong. Why do women? I think like men can do this as well in relationships, but why do? Why would you stand for that? If that was your younger self, would you let someone speak to your younger self like that? Would you let them like, judge you or criticize you? And would you let someone speak to your younger self like that? Would you let them like, judge you or criticize you? And would you change to meet their needs? You would tell your younger self no, exactly, do you know?
Speaker 2:what I mean. You know what I see happening as well, like and they're adults, yeah, and it's happening to adults in relationships that have kids yeah, and their kids are older yeah mature or whatever, and you see the wife crumbling yeah, you can actually see it's sad, it's so sad it's so sad. It's probably like.
Speaker 1:I know we're sounding like men I know we're not men hairs, we're not, it's just. It's just. It's like, just falls off the tongue, but like it can happen to women to women, I see it more so women to women to be honest I think women to women, women hate other women and I don't know what it is. It's actually really sad because we should be sticking together. Do you think as well that like?
Speaker 2:some women say I don't know, because I'm single, say, and I wouldn't be the type of person that can go out and flirt if it's never me like yeah, okay, okay and I wouldn't dream of looking at someone else's partner, no matter what yeah, I think women probably in relationships get paranoid because when they see a single woman, this is self-love.
Speaker 1:But this is this, if you right are. So if you give yourself so much self-love, you will not have insecurities.
Speaker 2:And I think when you're very insecure in a relationship, it can drag your partner down.
Speaker 1:A hundred percent, so whether?
Speaker 2:it's a man or it's a woman being a woman, if you're a very jealous girl and you're so to the point to like, oh my gosh, why are you looking at her?
Speaker 1:Or why are you doing this?
Speaker 2:No, you're not going out with your friends. No, you're not to the point to like, oh my gosh why are you? Looking at her or yeah, are you doing this? No, you're not going out with your friends. Yeah, no, you're not. You're doing something with me that's gonna push him away. Yeah, it's gonna make him toxic.
Speaker 1:Yeah, to drive him crazy, because there's no boundaries and you know what he, from his point of view, he's gonna be like well, she fucking thinks it anyway. So I'm just gonna fucking do it. I can't deal with this toxic relationship anymore. And that's what happens. And I think for two people, for a successful relationship to work, two have to be so strong on who they are and their self-love and they really have to know themselves and be happy and secure where they are in themselves, because people can get very lost in their relationship and not on themselves yeah, 100% they get more invested in their relationship
Speaker 2:than individuals yeah, they forget, and I know it can happen us. When you're in a relationship, you grow together, you are the same person, but you need to be individual as well.
Speaker 1:You need to if something happened. You need to be able to walk out of that relationship and stand on your own and say I am okay. Yeah, you don't need another person to make you whole. Don't get me wrong. Two people together it can be a beautiful journey yeah, and you know, it's like 100%.
Speaker 1:Obviously, everyone needs that, but you need to be able to walk away and say I've got this on my own as well. Yeah, and I think that's the problem with relationships. It can be and it could be friendships as well if you have two people one is so sure and one is not, the one that's not so sure and is insecure is going to try bring the other one down to their level, and then what happens is the other person crumbles and then they have to rebuild. Yeah, it's like a phoenix in the ash.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like a broken mirror yeah, yeah, it's sad it is sad, yeah, and I think it's. It's very sad, even, like coming from a place where, like you know, obviously being like the person I am, like I've been hurt so many times, like, and I know most of the most of our listeners are you or whoever yeah we've all been hurt okay we've all been bullied. Yeah, we've all been hurt by our partner. Yeah. Whatever it may be in life, that just happens.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but you can get to a stage where I'm kind of scared that I'm that's interesting gotten to a stage where I'm afraid to leave someone in and I'm afraid to trust people now and see, that's what happens yeah, so I'm very like closed off. Yeah, it comes to like yeah, okay, I've moved to Dubai or whatever, I've made new friends or whatever, but now I feel like my doors are a little bit closed.
Speaker 1:I get that because you feel like you're, you're, after going kind of so long of like that protection it's like a wall.
Speaker 2:I don't want anyone to break it down because it took them very long time, yeah.
Speaker 1:I think you are the type of person like that you are. I think you're strong and you're like, you're not insecure, so you're, you'd never put that on other people, no, and I think that you'd be in a good position right now to go into a relationship, because I think you wouldn't. I think when you've been hurt, as like a woman and you're, you're actually rebuilding yourself. If a man, you'll know straight from, straight away, if those boundaries are crossed and you won't tolerate it, you will be like I'm not accepting that. I know even Fajah. I'll just be like I'm not accepting that.
Speaker 1:Move on next yeah, but that's good, I feel like I'm too like no, but that's good, because you're not settling. Yeah, but you're not settling, like you know. I mean you're like no and like you're not. You're not doing over stupid things, but like you're like no, I'm not accepting that because that happened before. Next, yeah, and that's a good way to be. That means you're evolving and you're grown. Yeah, actually. Yeah, don't be thinking that as a negative. That's a good way to be. That means you're evolving and you're growing. Yeah, actually, don't be thinking that as a negative. That's a positive.
Speaker 2:Yeah, do you know when I feel like I could never, ever, ever like I love seeing people thrive? Yeah, I love seeing people thrive, I really do.
Speaker 1:Who doesn't want to see people thrive? Yeah and yeah. So with of self-love, yeah, like if you can see like something, that's maybe that you might've taught a negative like, even like a bit of jealousy if you're like, oh no, I'm actually really happy for them. That's a state of self-love. If you are trying to wake up every day and just be content and grateful for what you have and don't get wrong, some days are shit, but you have to reprogram your brain every day, that, as I say, it's self-love. I think you have to be so happy, like who you are yeah, and you know what it is.
Speaker 2:Like you said, they're like waking up every day being grateful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it can be very hard sometimes oh so hard things happen like don't get me wrong, yeah it happens.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I feel like even bringing yourself back down to earth, waking up every morning and giving yourself 10 minutes to do affirmations yeah, or writing down what you're journaling journaling like people might be listening, thinking oh, these two are no, honestly journaling, because you're just your mind dumping everything onto a page.
Speaker 1:You're actually offloading it and even small little things. What I'll do is, when I go for a walk, I try to see the beauty in little things. So, like, even if I were looking, I'd be like, oh, look at that beautiful flower, like there's birds or do you know you like, and you really try zone in on it, but like this is the present, so you're trying not to jump to the future yeah, but I think that's what's wrong with us as being humans, so like we always kind of want more, yeah, and it's human nature.
Speaker 2:It really is, yeah, like it's human nature to do. But I even looked out on my grand granny and granddad's backyard yesterday.
Speaker 1:I was like this garden is just beautiful yeah, see this, this is what I mean, though it's the small little things that, like you wouldn't every day kind of ignore, because we're so used to my brain is so used to where you have to try every day but, like, try, see the little beauty in things, and I only think journaling is a way you can like just mind dump everything, obviously if you do have any like past traumas or bad relationships of therapy offloaded about like a new woman, and you do learn a lot about yourself during therapy.
Speaker 2:Some people do think that it's weird, and especially men if you're listening to write stuff down. They do, yeah, they just don't. They don't see how it works. And, to be honest, I put my hand on my heart and say when I used to hear people doing that I'd be like what the hell yeah, I know it is weird, right if you were to say to me five years ago yeah, write down what you're grateful for every day, yeah, and you'll become a better person and a clearer mind, and whatever it may be, yeah, I'd be like go away.
Speaker 1:I'm not doing that yeah like that's stupid or if you're feeling like having a shit day, just get a diary and you'd actually be amazing, when you start to write down things, how it just keeps flowing, because your brain is like. It's like because you don't realize how much regret, yeah, but not even that like the bad things. If just something bad happened to you. Write it all down and then just like you're right, it's all it's offloading. Now it's done. Do you know it clears. It's like. It's like cleaning out your wardrobe. Yeah, it's like you know you're doing a spring clean on your brain.
Speaker 2:Yeah, every now and again it is so like smart I do, and I know like people might think that we're weird, but like I like being weird, yeah, but like I, I just feel like that you need this, but you need to have conversations yeah, what I think? Works massively is sitting down with someone who you're comfortable with?
Speaker 1:yes, who you can trust?
Speaker 2:yeah, who will bring you up rather than put you down. Yeah, and who will make you feel like that you're the queen of the planet. Yeah, because when you sit down with a friend or a close family, member and you actually are open, not even on emotional level, yeah, but just having a deep conversation on how you're feeling or yeah do you know what you want to progress?
Speaker 1:it is. It's like your, your troubles are halved, yeah it is.
Speaker 2:It's just someone to listen, yeah, and you know what's never gonna answer you back the pen and paper. Yeah, so you keep. There's no judgment, no do you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:There's not like so bright I I honestly think that people aren't educated enough on this whole like self-love, like spiritual journey. Yeah, I don't think they're like educated enough. I think like it hasn't. It should be brought into like when you're younger.
Speaker 2:But I feel like I think it should be brought into primary schools. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I think it should like about self-respect and boundaries and when people are treating you wrong and like because I just don't think we're really and I know like it's part of life.
Speaker 2:We have to like learn as you go well yeah, but then again like there's learning and then there's hurt yeah does that make sense? Yeah, no, that makes sense. Like no one. Like when you're younger? Okay, yeah you are brought up with these disney films and this fantasy life. That's so true. Okay, and you're looking at the perfect husband.
Speaker 1:Yeah, perfect, this is all gonna be fucking great everything is perfect yeah and you know what.
Speaker 2:Your life is perfect, but it's how you wake up every morning and how you'll see your life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like, because I know sometimes like when I'm out and about or if I'm traveling to work.
Speaker 2:Whatever I look out the window, okay, and at one side of the window I'll see a woman with a Louis Vuitton bag with her child, her husband, coming out of a Ferrari. Okay, and on the other side I'll see a different family that are getting out of a taxi that come from a different country, that after moving over might not have much, but have the happiest faces on them where the family that seem to have it all are miserable.
Speaker 1:isn't that mental you need to?
Speaker 2:put it into your, you make the life you want in your head yeah. And if you wake up every morning and say well, I have nothing going for me, yeah, I'm a fat slop, I'm ugly. Yeah, my job is this. My job is that I've no friends, I've no family, like no one cares about me but then your life is going to be miserable.
Speaker 1:And when you, when you speak like that in your brain, your brain actually looks for that. Yeah, like people can kill themselves in negativity. Like so if you wake up and you say this is gonna be a great day, oh my god, it's gonna be the best day of my life, I'm gonna like feel so energized and healthy, your brain will actually look for ways to try and make that happen. Or if you wake up and be like, oh fuck, this gonna be shit now I'm so tired, everything's gonna go, they're just the brain is gonna be like okay, well, how do we make that happen?
Speaker 1:do you know?
Speaker 2:and then that's when everyone is saying jesus, she got up on the wrong side, literally, like you know. But it is so true, yeah, it is like it is. And I put, if you can say that you'll do this too, because we all do. You know when you wake up, and you wake up like a few minutes late, yeah, and you drop something and you drop your foundation and it goes all over the floor, you're like fuck, this whole day is going wrong now yeah.
Speaker 2:Whereas if you say, okay, you know what, I'll clean it up later. I'll open another one, it'll be fine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it'll all work out in the end. Everything happens for a reason. It all works out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it's just how you wake up every day, 100%, how you? Wake up every day 100% how you see everyday life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think I think as well, that's what's up and it is like a thing you have to train your brain every day to do it. It doesn't just happen, no, it doesn't. And like you, can feel yourself going back into negativity. But you need to pull yourself back. Do you know what I mean? I just moan like touching me, blessing like footsie she misses me so much, don't go don't go well, yeah.
Speaker 2:I do think that it's how you you wake up every morning how you see everyday life 100%. Yeah, I do because like and don't get me wrong it's okay not to be okay some days oh, you need to go cry.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like I do sometimes, like I just like randomly cry out of nowhere, I'm like I needed that, like a cry is actually releasing energy. Yeah, so cry away. We accept a good cry we have many emotions good cries need to come out, because you'll feel better, you know. I mean, there's no point holding it in, you know. So our advice is have a good cry, have a good cry because we probably will be having a good yeah, 100 right to finish off this week's little episode, to make it very, very wholesome.
Speaker 1:We have in every day. There are 1440 minutes. That means we have 1440 daily opportunities to make a positive impact. I love that. That fucking suited this week's episode. That really suited this week's episode.
Speaker 2:Yeah, didn't it, it just blended right in.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was pretty, it was well. We hope you got some good advice from this week's little episode.
Speaker 2:Nice little, wholesome episode it was like a therapy session with Simone and Melissa before each other.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I feel like I feel like I'm actually being in like therapy. Yeah, it's actually rejuvenating rejuvenating as well. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I love her energy.
Speaker 1:We love each other's energy, but we hope you picked up with this energy as well and we're actually making bringing the vibes, bringing the vibes to you.
Speaker 2:This is our happy place.
