Why Are We Like This?

This episode turned into one of our favorite kinds of conversations—the kind where you start with something fun and end up learning way more about yourself than expected.

We took the 16 Personalities test and compared results for the very first time together. We talk about what surprised us, how personality shows up in friendships, parenting, careers, relationships… and how becoming moms has changed who we are.

We also get honest about perfectionism, emotions, communication, letting go of control (or trying 😅), and realizing our kids sometimes mirror things we didn’t even know we were doing.

If you’ve ever wondered:
✨ Why am I like this?
✨ Why does my partner/friend think so differently?
✨ Has motherhood changed my personality?
✨ Am I leading with emotions or logic?

Come hang out with us.

And tell us—what personality type are YOU?

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:05

Bienvenidos a Mama's Playground. Welcome to Mama's Playground. This is Darlene. This is Monica. We want to keep the doors open for if you're listening to us and you want to talk to us about something. You know, let's make it happen. Come to our show, either by Zoom, by phone, in person. Be part of this because when we say mama's playground, it's not just Monica and Darlene. Like we want it to be, you know, like a playground. Hit us through, you know, Instagram or TikTok or Facebook or just reach out. Reach out to reach out, and we're here to listen to your ideas. And if you want to come and vent with us. Yeah, definitely. We are back. I remember there was a season where Monica was all about okay, let's go on Chat GPT. And I'm like, no, no, no, we gotta put our thinking caps. We gotta do it from our own brain. We do, but we need to get help from Chat GPT. But now, you know, it's it's how in three years, because we the first time was what, three years ago that we started, our first?

SPEAKER_00 1:11

A little probably a little bit less. I don't think it was exactly three years, a little bit less. I know we did, we were super consistent uh when we got the studio back in the day. We were super consistent for about a year, and then we did probably about a year and a half, a little bit over of consistency, and then we kind of had to, you know, drop off and you know, just pick things up back where we are right now.

SPEAKER_01 1:31

We love being here, we love talking, we love being moms and stressing about it and loving every minute, and sometimes actually not, but it motherhood's a beautiful thing, and we're here to celebrate it. We have a fun thing going on today because you know, when you're a co-host, when you're in any relationship of a podcast, of friendship, husband and wife, yeah, it's all about you know, personalities. Sometimes they click, sometimes they don't. And tell us what you found.

SPEAKER_00 2:03

So I told Darlene, I said, you know what, let's do this little test that a cousin of mine sent me a link to. I didn't know what it was until I clicked on it. And it's called um 16 personalities. I'm sure somebody else does it, but this is the one that I that I did. And so you get on there, you do a little questionnaire, and it tells you it's based off of the Meyer Briggs, I think, um uh test to see what personality you are. And I could not believe how accurate that shit was. Excuse my language. It was so freaking accurate that I was like, this is scary. I'm gonna send it to Darlene and see where we fall, you know, and we haven't discussed our results. We haven't discussed our results. So to get to it, we did this uh Meyer Briggs uh 16 Personalities test, right? And it asked you a couple of questions. And after you're done, obviously you have to they ask you to pay, you know, later for more stuff, but you can actually just take your results. Sorry, uh 16 personalities, and um, you can put it into AI and you can get more feedback on it. So I didn't do that. I did it. I did it. Okay. I did it. And um, I wanted to put what I got because I want to see how me and Jarlene kind of like our relationship, how how it um, you know, maybe how it transpired, how how we, you know, how we are here today, you know, that we get along well and so on. Do you do you have the questions there? Do you remember any in particular?

SPEAKER_01 3:21

I don't remember. Oh man, there was one. I don't remember the the the questions. You avoid making phone calls. That was one of the questions. But you see that I don't avoid it for that one. I was like, hmm, interesting, because now I I'm not crazy about texting because I usually need my glasses, which I don't have with me. So it's you see me. You see me, yeah. So no, like to read on the phone or or anything, and then um the fact that you can leave voice notes, so it's like a mini, mini convert little conversations. It's like I love being able to do that. Making phone calls, not as much because I don't know, I don't want to bother like intervening somebody's time.

SPEAKER_00 4:08

It's so much easier just to do the voice note.

SPEAKER_01 4:10

Yeah, because you can be calling, especially us moms, like we'll call each other and it's like Jacob, Luna. It's so it's better to just communicate when you have the time to say something and to listen and to be clear in your message of whatever it is you're trying to say. So that question was like, wow, yeah. I I don't enjoy making phone calls as much.

SPEAKER_00 4:31

Uh so getting to the test, right? The 16 personalities. So I'm just gonna tell you what I got. There's a couple of them, I think there's like five different ones, which I'll pull up afterwards. But I ended up getting, and I'm gonna tell you a little brief of what it says. I got your personality is the campaigner, which um they give you like the the letters that you are that it um relates to, right? Which is the E N and then F as in Frank P slash T. And what it says is campaigners are enthusiastic, very creative, and sociable free spirits who can always find a reason to smile. They embrace big ideas and actions that reflect their sense of hope and goodwill towards others. And then uh your role is a diplomat. So I I'm very much and I do see myself in that because anytime there is friction, I always stop and I kind of analyze both, and I become like the diplomatic one in an argument or in any stress, whatever it is. It could be work, it could be friendships. So I do see a lot of that in there. Um, it's a diplomats focus on empathy and cooperation, shining in diplomacy and counseling. They're imaginative, warm, empathetic, and influential people, often playing the role of harmonizers. And I do, I have found myself a lot doing that. At least, you know, and also I've had friends say, Can't you just pick a side? And I'm like, mmm. You're very political. I am oh no, don't bring that. It's not political, it's just I always, you know, let's say I always give like the benefit of the doubt on both sides. So I I found a lot of that, and then my social So you could be a judge, yeah. But I would never want to have that on my plate. That's too much, too much. But, anyways, your social strategy is social engagement, and then it says individuals who prefer the social engagement strategy are restless. I am restless, uh, perfectionistic. Yes, I can be perfectionistic in some things, not in everything, because other things I really drop the ball. Uh, prone to experiencing very positive and negative emotions. People who know me, I think when I was younger, people didn't think I was as emotional, and maybe I wasn't. And as I got older, I've become more empathetic and emotional. So when you became a parent or before that, um, I I think before that I was already in that, and then as I became a parent, even more. And then just, you know, kind of I I I feel and obviously with you know, maturity, you know, and you start to see that things are not exactly what you think they are, and you start to realize that there's always things behind and layers that you are not even aware of, you know. So I feel like now I I I could definitely see that. And then it says they're curious and willing to work hard, making them high achievers. I do feel like I put a lot of pressure on myself to achieve things. Oh, yeah, a thousand percent. So, anyways, uh the traits extroverted, I got uh basically a 70%. Uh um so extroverted 60, no, 68%, intuitive, 66%. Um, the fact that I feel like my feelings, I'm at a 64%. Um, my tactics, which they say it's prospecting, 54%, and then judging, it says that it's turbulent. I don't know what does that mean. I don't know, it's an identity turbulent, and I'm like, well, I maybe was turbulent more when I was younger. Uh-huh. I could still be that way, but I high I think I've been more free-flowing lately. A lot more try to be a little more tranquil.

SPEAKER_01 7:54

You have to. Yeah, I think as you learn, you have to. You learn as you get older. It's like they say, choose your battles. That's kind of it's you know, it's what it is.

SPEAKER_00 8:03

Yeah. What what I'm curious to see what you got. I'm curious to see what is the one you got.

SPEAKER_01 8:09

So, but I read there's it said that there's a few. Oh, I didn't get all the types. There's an introvert, intuitive, thinking, judging, extrovert, sensing, feeling, and perceiving.

SPEAKER_00 8:23

Yours was the well, that was the I I got the I got the for the actual profile, I got the campaigner.

SPEAKER_01 8:30

Oh, okay. So I came out as the E N F J T, the protagonist.

SPEAKER_00 8:37

Also, we only have one thing different. Look how funny. You have E N F J T, right? Yeah. I have E N F P T. Wow. So we we have to figure out what that difference is because honestly, we're just this is very interesting because I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 8:53

Who knows if therapists use some sort of this? Because imagine when a relationship is rocky, and then you find that one thing that is different, and that's what you try to work with. Yeah. No, no, I'm sure there's some science. There's definitely something behind this. So we need to see. Let's do a project. We need to figure out what is that one thing, and then we'll then we'll work on it.

SPEAKER_00 9:15

You know, we don't want to be exactly alike. Listen. I'm kidding.

SPEAKER_01 9:17

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. All right, so I got the protagonist, which means I'm a natural leader and communicator. Sometimes I communicate too much, but it's okay. Who inspires and motivates others? That could be scary. Well, it depends what are you motivating them now? I'm kidding. No, actually, uh, I like that. Yeah. Highly empathetic and intuitive, often understanding people's emotions and needs before they express them. You thrive on meaningful conversations and enjoy bringing people together around ideas, causes, or shared goals. Um yeah, I feel that I do have empathy. That's one thing that I do have for people, and which in the long run makes me a very emotional person. And I take people's things-I think hormones make us a very emotional person. That's true. That's true. So the challenge for somebody that has the protagonist one, uh, taking on too much responsibility, being sensitive to criticism, avoiding difficult conversations. I feel that as I've grown older, maybe it's because you kind of learn how to let go of things like Mel Robbins, led them. Uh things that could bother you in the past. Now you're like, you know what, I have bigger problems to worry about. So the avoid difficult conversations sometimes is, you know, I don't, I don't want to. Which is wrong because I feel like you know, things have to be taught, communicated, right?

SPEAKER_00 10:53

I need to see if that's where the difference is between you and I. Because we have we have E N, I have E N F P T and you have a J instead of a P. Yeah. I gotta see what that difference is.

SPEAKER_01 11:03

We gotta see. And it says another challenge that I have struggling to delegate, which I've talked about this before. Even for my wedding, we hired a decorator, and I was not I not all the decorations, yeah. I was very controlling. I did not know that was me until the Brightzilla came out. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:24

But that that's there's a sad thing that the Brightzilla comes out when you're trying to get everything perfect for me.

SPEAKER_01 11:28

But even like, you know, checking Luna's homework, I'm like, okay, I have to make sure that everything's okay.

SPEAKER_00 11:34

So if Fabian doesn't be like it's not right, give it to me. Let me see it. I'm sure. I mean, we're not correcting it.

SPEAKER_01 11:40

We're just yeah, yeah, yeah. He's saying yes. Um, another challenge, taking setbacks personally, sometimes over looking practical limitations. That's kind of being uh idealista maske realista. Um, thinking, you know, everything is beautiful, and it's like, no, think reality. Um, your idealism and high expectations can sometimes lead to disappointment when reality doesn't match your vision. So, in short, I am somebody who naturally uplift people. I lead with my heart and my emotions, which can get me in trouble so many times. Ask my husband, and I do want to make a positive impact, and it's one of the reasons why I love being in the podcast because hopefully we can get to people in different ways and help them throughout anything they could be going through. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

Yeah. I think this is this this is a a test. I think it's something so fun to do because it's true. It's it's if you're married, or if you're in a relationship, or if you have a friendship and you have odd, or even your family members, because you know there's conflicts and all that in your families, and you're like, why is so and so like this? Or my god, this guy pisses me off. Like, look at this little oh, you know what I mean? And you wonder why, and you're like, this is so you do this test, and really when you kind of combine it and you read and you see between two people like what they got, you start saying, ah, well, that's why, because that person doesn't lead with their they lead with maybe logic. That that person leads with emotion, and you know, there's just so many different ways to to go about it. I wonder what my kids are. Like, I think these questions are too deep for them to do, but I wonder like what they are, who they're you know, what they're gonna come out as.

SPEAKER_01 13:23

That is that's great. And for example, this is something that you can get online, either this test or something else. You don't have to go to a therapy. I mean, I'm all about therapists, by the way, and I'm super supportive. But if you can afford it or you don't have time, or you're going through a moment when it where it's you're not clicking with the person that you love or something's going on, maybe one of the personality traits is switching to another one because of things outside of our control, yeah, work or you know, life situations. And I don't know. I I love that. I always I before acting, I remember taking acting and psychology at the same time in college because I love the psychology behind you know people's thoughts and actions and difference of opinions. And we don't marry ourselves, we're married or we have friendships or podcasts that are very different with people that are different, and it's a matter of recognizing them and respecting it, you know, and not and not faulting people for traits that they have that maybe you don't have, you know.

SPEAKER_00 14:32

So, so absolutely. I wanted to to you know, did did it tell you your um oh my goodness, did it tell you like what like your careers and all that?

SPEAKER_01 14:42

I want to know because you did acting and did it go into your careers because it's I have it here.

SPEAKER_00 14:47

Like I'm gonna tell you the one that it said for me. It said, in your professional life, you thrive in environments that value creativity. So I do love creating, um, flexibility, definitely. I do not like anybody chaining me down to anything. I'm very rebellious in that sense. Um, and human connection. And it says your ideal career is not just a job, but a calling, a platform where you can express your unique gifts. Woo! That's why we are at the podcast. Oops, sorry, man. Um and that you can make a positive impact on others. You excel in roles that allow you to use your exceptional communication skills and tap into your boundless creativity. However, look what it said, and this is so true. So if anybody from, you know, wherever I've worked in the past knows me, knows that this is true. I'm very rebellious with the nine to five. I can't like, I don't like people controlling my time. And it says, however, the conventional nine to five grind can feel stifling to your free-spirited nature. You may struggle with strict routines. When it said that, I was like, definitely. You say, Monica, come on, follow the plan. And I'm just like, ah, like, no, look at this. Oh, look at that bird. You know, yeah, that's so so it's it was so on point. It's so on point. So another thing this test is good for is if you are in the mix of like career, like, oh my God, I want to reinvent myself. I want to do like what is it that I like? You can do this test, and it can give you a couple of maybe options that open up your eyes to something different. You know, I know.

SPEAKER_01 16:12

I I don't yours makes so much sense. Mine came out. I'm trying to remember, I don't have it written down, and uh it will take me a little bit to find it. But one that did come out for me was teacher. Did it?

SPEAKER_00 16:26

Yeah, but you but you even said at one point you would do like subbing or something. You like it?

SPEAKER_01 16:30

And let me tell you, and I did it, I did sub twice. And you didn't like it? Because no, because I'm and that's when I realized I am a very organized person. And when I went to sub, I feel that they thought that I know what I was doing. Like I know how to be a mom. Uh, and I could, you know, lead 25 kids. But nowadays in these schools, it's not about open your textbook. It's about some things are done in the computer, some in a textbook, some in um, what do you call it? The a projector. There's so many, and then everything has like a different name. It's not like, oh, now it's math, now it's sciences, everything. Now it was, and I was so confused. I'm like, this is so complicated. I don't remember this in school. You know what it is, Darlene?

SPEAKER_00 17:21

It's if you were in your 20s. I'm sorry, but I have to always bring this up because it's true. I see the very big difference. If you were in your 20s, maybe then you would have been like, okay, I'm gonna, you know, figure. But I think the patience at this level, too, it's like there's things at this point I could speak for myself that I say, I don't want to deal with this. I don't want to deal with it. I'm not doing it. I don't want to deal with it, you know? Where before I probably would have like bent over backwards to learn something, and now it's like I don't I don't want to deal with it.

SPEAKER_01 17:45

No, in this case, I did want to because it's okay, in 20 minutes, I'm gonna have 24 kids walking into the classroom, and I'm okay, uh wait, what does I don't understand what a lot of things mean. And then you have to log in, and then you have to send a message to the cafeteria saying how many kids are gonna buy lunch, and then it's cookie day. It's a system and process. Like, oh wait, I have to collect money. I have kids coming in with money, and I'm like, what is this for? True story, this did happen at her school every morning. They do the Pledge of Allegiance, and then the school's uh what do you call it?

SPEAKER_00 18:21

The anthem song or whatever for the school.

SPEAKER_01 18:24

Um, so it's the beginning of the class, and the the kids are all standing up. And I go, everybody sit down, sit down, class is starting, and I'm telling the kids to sit down. And then this teacher comes, she turns on the monitor, the huge TV that they have. Uh, and and I go, wait, what is she doing? And and I'm like, I'm telling the kids to sit down, and they're like, No, no, no, they have to sit down. Oh, and the control. It's the pledge of allegiance, and I'm like, oh, that's why they were all standing, and I'm telling them, sit down. And I'm like, I where does it say that they gotta sit? Eight o'clock, they're gonna be doing the pledge of allegiance. They gotta sit, and I'm telling them, sit down.

SPEAKER_00 19:04

But you see, then you are so stressful.

SPEAKER_01 19:07

The organized, like, you know, you want everything time. But then I, yeah, it was stress- I loved it. I love being around kids, but I was a little bit stressed because I wanted everything to be exactly as the teacher would do it, like everything.

SPEAKER_00 19:21

So to tienes again, and I have this too, and some things, but in others, no, the perfectionist. That's a perfectionism part. Yeah, that you want everything to follow a certain thing, and then when it when it when it goes off of track, you're like, shit. Like what, you know, it it flusters you, you know, it irritates, right? But those are things that we have to control.

SPEAKER_01 19:40

Exactly. But we have to control. Yeah. So I guess uh I could be a teacher, I don't know. Um, but yeah, this this is just a little fun thing. They're small, I don't remember what they were, but uh, but yeah, I right now in a way, you know, we we are teaching our kids every day. We are, we are teachers sometimes even when we don't want to, because they're at a stage that well Luna now reads and and they just grasp everything, every little attitude, everything that we say more than ever. And it's very scary because I'm I'm teaching her without me wanting to teach her at this point, but she's mimicking things in my behavior or the way I speak, and and then you don't like it.

SPEAKER_00 20:26

You don't like it, and you're like, I don't like what you're doing, and then it's like this is a reflection of you. Yeah, so then you gotta look at yourself and then grow with it and say, Shit, I gotta do this or I gotta change this because I don't like what I'm seeing in my daughter, but yet she's getting it from me. It's like a big realization, like a slap in the face, you know?

SPEAKER_01 20:42

So, or my husband will be like, you know, uh she's doing it because you do it.

SPEAKER_00 20:47

Yeah, and you're like, shut up. I don't want to hear that.

SPEAKER_01 20:50

I'm like, I'm yeah, take her, take her for a walk. It's a five-hour walk.

SPEAKER_00 20:55

Yeah, you're like, stop blaming me for everything.

SPEAKER_01 20:57

But anyways, it would be interesting to do this with the kids. Maybe we can sometimes understand what's in those little heads up there. In their in their brains. Yes, and we will talk to you soon.

SPEAKER_00 21:08

But wait one second, I wanted to say something. We are coming full force, guys, with content, with a new location, with new guests that we have that we're excited about, uh, that want to join the podcast. So we're we're in the process of getting everything scheduled. This is gonna be amazing, so stay tuned and to mama's playground.

SPEAKER_01 21:26

And let us know you're listening, let us know what you don't want to hear, what you want to hear. Peace out, everybody. Thanks everybody for tuning in, and we will see you next Wednesday. Next Wednesday.