Sexual Healing

Ever wondered how sexual intimacy can truly transform your marriage? Join us on Team Wade as we unlock the secrets to a healthy, fulfilling sex life, inspired by the profound teachings of 1 Corinthians 7. Discover the balance of responsibilities and mutual respect between spouses, emphasizing the idea that viewing each other's bodies as mutually owned can deepen your connection and prevent common marital issues like sexless marriages. We explore how creating an environment where both partners can effortlessly fulfill their biblical duties nurtures a reciprocal love and submission that fortifies your relationship.

But that's not all – we go beyond the bedroom to talk about how lifestyle choices impact your sexual health and overall well-being. Learn about the benefits of incorporating foods and supplements like magnesium, L-arginine, ashwagandha, watermelon, and Brazilian nuts into your diet to boost testosterone and improve circulation. Understand the potential drawbacks of high sugar intake and the hormonal imbalances birth control might cause. We also discuss practical strategies for setting boundaries within the family to maintain the sanctity of the marital bed and stress the importance of seeking expert advice. Join us for an enlightening conversation that promises to enhance both your intimacy and marital happiness!

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Chapters

• 0:00 Healthy Sexuality in Marriage
• 12:35 Sexual Health Through Diet and Lifestyle
• 23:02 Transforming Marital Intimacy

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:13

Hello everybody. Welcome to Team Wade, where we are giving you tools for a successful marriage. Today, we're going to be talking about what is she drumrolling about?

Speaker 2: 0:26

We're going to talk about marriage stuff.

Speaker 1: 0:29

Well, what topic are we going to talk about particularly Well, you know there's an old song by Marvin Gaye.

Speaker 2: 0:36

Marvin Gaye was making a comeback and he had a song called Sexual Healing. We're going to talk about sex. We're going to talk about sexual healing. That's good. That's very important in a marriage. If you're going to have a healthy marriage, one of the ingredients is a healthy sex life. So the intimacy needs to be on point if you're going to have a good, healthy marriage. That's one of the main ingredients in the recipe of having a good, successful marriage.

Speaker 1: 1:07

So a good, successful marriage, like you said, is almost like a cake. You got to have specific ingredients in order for the cake to come out right, to taste good and even the texture. Certain certain ingredients you know have to do with the texture. There are other ingredients that have to do with the taste, so all of them work together so that the cake can come out right. So we have some ingredients that we talk about to help your marriage come out right.

Speaker 2: 1:39

Yes.

Speaker 1: 1:40

Like a cake, come out right. So we want our marriages to come out right. The godly way, yeah, and that's the only way. And so, in terms of sexual healing, we know that that recipe is important. You cannot have a good marriage and leave out that ingredient. Intimacy is a huge part of your marriage relationship, of a healthy marriage relationship. And we're talking about sexual intimacy because there are different forms of intimacy. There is emotional intimacy, and so we're talking about intimacy. Exactly so. We're talking about particularly sexual intimacy today.

Speaker 2: 2:16

Let me read a scripture 1 Corinthians 7, beginning at verse 1. It says Now, concerning the things of which you wrote to me, this was the Apostle Paul talking to the church at Corinth Notice, the church. So a lot of people are like why are you talking about sex in church? Why are you talking about? Because where are you going to learn it? You learn what God intends the biblical way. Where are you going to learn? You learn what God intends the biblical way.

Speaker 1: 2:39

Where are you going to learn it? God's way, exactly Right.

Speaker 2: 2:42

Yeah. And so Paul had to address this issue and he said it is good for a man not to touch a woman, Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, illegal, unlawful sex, which sex outside of marriage is illegal, it's unlawful. And there are other unlawful ways of sex. But let's stick with the subject. He said let each man have his own wife and let each woman have her own husband. And notice the word woman really is really in the Greek wife. So it's not just any woman, it's wife. So let every wife have her own husband. So let the husband render to the wife the affection that is due her, Likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does, and likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

Speaker 2: 3:48

Then verse 5 says do not deprive one another except with consent for a time that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Speaker 1: 4:06

Now I want to stop right there because I want to go back. I don't know if you're going to read any further, but I want to go back to how Apostle Paul made sure that he addressed both parties to make sure you understand that your body is not your own, it belongs to your husband as a wife and as a husband. Your body does not belong to you, it belongs to your wife. He made sure, made it very clear.

Speaker 2: 4:35

He was not one-sided in that, and so I love that, and so I just thought I want to bring that part out and so I think there's a lot going on where you got a lot of sexless marriage, which means there's ingredients missing out in marriage, which puts pressure and strain on that marriage and it creates a problem with it being healthy. Now let me say this we got to come out the gate and deal with this. And healthy, now let me say this we got to come out the gate and deal with this. Now, just because the Bible is very clear what it's saying we cannot take advantage of someone's willingness to obey God. So, to obey God and for your spouse to want to be intimate with you, there are still other things you need to do to make it easier for them to obey God.

Speaker 2: 5:26

Okay, so just like, for example, the Bible says wives, submit yourself unto your husband. Uh, the Bible says husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church. It's easier to love when you're doing what you should do and it's easier for you to submit when I'm doing what I should be doing. So a lot of times, what people do? They take advantage of what the scripture says when it comes to what they should receive from the other. But you can make it easier for people to do the word by doing what you should do. That's good, so I can make it easier for people to do the word by doing what you should do.

Speaker 2: 6:03

That's good, so I can make it easy for you to submit and see that you respect me if I am doing what I'm supposed to do as a man right as a husband and I can make it easy for you to love me.

Speaker 1: 6:16

Yes, when I willingly, you know, submit and not, um, buck up against everything that you you decide, you know, as the leader of this family or be, you know my own woman, be rebellious, do what I want to do, and so it makes it hard or disrespect you or dishonor you. That makes it hard for you to love me, even though the Bible says, and you're supposed, supposed to do it, you're supposed to do it regardless of the condition of the situation, regardless of if someone is doing the other spouse is doing what God says. It's still you're supposed to do it, but it makes it easier.

Speaker 2: 6:53

When you're doing your part. And so some people are taking advantage of people's desire to please God. Advantage of people's desire to please God. So I want to get that out of the way because some marriages, even though the Bible says your body don't belong to you and you're supposed to give it to each other, some of us out here are not making it easy for the person to obey God when it comes to sex. That's good. So we want to deal with that elephant in the room because that elephant is in the room. So when you think about it from a standpoint of a man or a woman, hygiene plays a big part.

Speaker 1: 7:33

Absolutely. Hygiene plays a big part.

Speaker 2: 7:36

So you want to make sure you're taking care of yourself cleanliness, wise, right, male or female. But also how do're taking care of yourself cleanliness wise, male or female but also how do you take care of your health, because one of the things you got to look at as you get older, you know, do you have the proper diet, do you have the proper supplements that will allow you to perform? So I know, like for women, as you age, hormones begin to get crazy Imbalance. That's right, imbalance hormones. But the same thing happened with me. Yeah, but a lot of times people don't talk about what's happening with men, because for us, our testosterone levels drop because you're eating bad diets, no supplements and no working out, especially weight training.

Speaker 1: 8:26

Yeah, that's really important, and so so with women, our estrogen levels can become depleted as we get older. And listen sometimes. Let me say this I believe somebody's been struggling with this.

Speaker 2: 8:39

Come on come on.

Speaker 1: 8:41

Sometimes it's not that you are rejecting your spouse, it's just that the hormone levels are not accurate or they're not balanced.

Speaker 2: 8:53

They're out of whack.

Speaker 1: 8:54

And it can come off as if well, my spouse don't want to be with me.

Speaker 2: 9:00

My spouse is not attracted to me, and that may not be the case.

Speaker 1: 9:02

So that can lead for your spouse to be coming rejected or feeling rejected by you, and so it's important for you all to talk about these things. Sometimes it's embarrassing, you know, for a spouse to admit that it's not you. I just can't perform.

Speaker 2: 9:21

Yeah, I don't feel it.

Speaker 1: 9:22

I don't feel it. I just and you know what, I believe we're enlightening some people.

Speaker 2: 9:26

Yes, we are.

Speaker 1: 9:27

That now you're realizing that may be what's wrong, because I love my spouse.

Speaker 2: 9:32

I always want to be with my spouse, but I just don't feel like it.

Speaker 1: 9:37

And so it's important for you to go and get your levels checked out. And so it's important for you to go and get your levels checked out. Go to your PCP or someone who specializes in hormonal therapy, and you can do it naturally. There are a lot of natural supplements out there.

Speaker 2: 9:50

And talk about the thyroid. The thyroid and the part that it plays in your hormone balance.

Speaker 1: 9:56

Men and women, we all have thyroids and we can suffer from thyroid.

Speaker 2: 10:01

Mainly with women, though, from the thyroid issue.

Speaker 1: 10:03

It's a lot of ladies that have thyroid issues, but what I'm saying is the thyroid is the producer of a lot of hormones. It controls the hormones in your body, and so if you're tired all the time, you know this is just something you should just get checked out. Go to a specialist, someone who's specialized, not a primary care physician. Go to someone who specializes in these things, because your primary care physician can say, hey, your, your labs are normal, when in actuality they really should be producing way more than what they are. So take somebody who's experienced that, who's gone through that, and so don't feel rejected by your spouse. There could be an underlying issue going on. So both of you go to the doctor and check yourselves out, the hormones are out of balance.

Speaker 2: 10:52

And then when you think about from a man's standpoint, so the dominant hormone for women is estrogen. But we both have estrogen and testosterone in our bodies. So but for women, they should have higher levels of estrogen and some testosterone in their body, right? So if a woman has all estrogen and no testosterone, that's going to send her low and she's not going to desire being intimate with you. But also for us as men, if we have more estrogen than testosterone, the testosterone is what makes us man, it is what makes you uh, it keeps your mind focused, it keeps your emotions in level leveled, because some of you, when your your estrogen level is high, men, husband, you now become emotional like a woman that's why we have a lot of emotional me and emotional me has a lot of the food is filled with food that causes your estrogen to increase sugar and all the other stuff that's in our food.

Speaker 2: 12:03

So it throws our hormone levels out. Then we're not exercising. The bigger bellies the men boobs as they call it where your chest is looking more like a woman's breast High estrogen, that means you got high estrogen level. If you have a big stomach, your chest is no longer forming muscles. You're losing muscle tone. It's hard to lose weight. You're emotional. That means you have high estrogen levels and it takes away from what makes us male and there's a remedy for it.

Speaker 1: 12:35

Yes, it is. You can start lifting weights at home or going to the gym but you gotta change the diet. You change your diet and that will automatically increase, without any hormonal therapy at all.

Speaker 2: 12:47

So and you need to supplements yes, like magnesium uh, l-arginine. There are other I'm trying to think of something. Yeah, astraganda, also drinking or eating anti-inflammatory type of diet, absolutely. So all of those things that with sugar is nothing but pure estrogen going into our body.

Speaker 1: 13:15

So you have to modify your diet and certain foods like watermelon is really good for circulation and beets oh my you can do a beet juice that is so good brazilian nuts, brazilian nuts all of these increased testosterone in men.

Speaker 2: 13:30

Because if you, when your estrogen levels are low, you're not going to perform in the bedroom because you're not going to have the blood flow, which means you're either not going to get an erection or you don't maintain an erection when your estrogen is high. Your estrogen is high and your testosterone is low, right, so then guess what begins to happen now mentally is it going to be start messing? It's going to start messing with you.

Speaker 1: 13:54

It's going to affect your esteem about yourself and you're going to not feel good. Yep.

Speaker 2: 13:58

And you're not going to want to touch your wife, and then vice versa, when you think of the same thing for women.

Speaker 1: 14:04

I also want to say birth control pills or any forms of birth control that inhabit or inhibits your hormonal flow naturally can also cause issues in your sexual healing.

Speaker 2: 14:18

It throws off your hormone levels.

Speaker 1: 14:20

It throws off your hormone levels Now if you're on birth control. But if you're off birth control, it may take a while for your body to readjust and for your hormones to start working properly the way that they were designed to, because the birth control pills has affected your hormones. So just know that. So if you go off of them, just give your body a little time to adjust and take your supplements and do the things that are necessary to get that hormone back balance.

Speaker 2: 14:49

And if you are still continuing to take it, we recommend that you go talk with your doctor to make sure that there may be another type of birth control that may not be affecting your hormones the same way, because I know some people are not wanting to keep having children, but yet they're wanting to enjoy being with their spouse being with their spouse. So we're not physicians, but you want to do your research, because that birth control could really be affecting you and creating some problems for you that's greater than than what you really realize. So make sure you see your physicians, because team weight is not. We're not doctors, but we're just giving you more information. So make sure you get with your physician and allow them to walk you through that, preferably someone that specializes in what we're talking about, because some physicians are just medicine, medicine only, and they don't think outside of the box of that system.

Speaker 1: 15:50

So one of the things that I had to do when I was dealing with my thyroid issue, I had to go outside of a regular traditional doctor, yes, and I had to find a functional medicine doctor. A functional medicine doctor is one that really looks at the issue and try to treat you differently from the regular medicine.

Speaker 2: 16:09

Just traditional.

Speaker 1: 16:10

Traditional medicine. So traditional medicine is designed to just medicate you. For the most part, functional medicine offers many more alternatives than just medication.

Speaker 2: 16:19

This is getting to the root of what the problem is. Yes, so talk a little bit more about the functional medicine. What were some of the things that the doctor that operated in functional medicine would do?

Speaker 1: 16:33

the doctor that operated in functional medicine would do so my particular doctor that operates in functional medicine, which is hard to find somebody local, but I had to go online and join a program that she offered. It costs a little bit more, it costs out of pocket, they don't take insurance, but there are some nurse practitioners who operate as a functional medicine that you can look at. But particularly they looked at the totality of my labs. They didn't just look at my thyroid issues, they looked at all of my labs, and their normal ranges differed from traditional meds. So traditional medical lab ranges are 15 to 20 years behind, and so those ranges change over years, and so that's why they were able to look at me in depthly.

Speaker 2: 17:20

So and the thing is they also didn't just treat the symptom, they went a little deeper in order to deal with what the different problems were. A lot of times with traditional physicians they just put you on a medicine that also has a side effect. That create other issue where the functional medicine person is dealing with other issues.

Speaker 1: 17:49

It's totally in depth. So they'll look at your incident levels, which is in a hormone that affects everything. They'll also look at your TSH, your T3 levels, your T2 levels.

Speaker 2: 18:02

I don't have a clue what she's talking about.

Speaker 1: 18:04

I mean, they look at the total labs and they make an informed decision based on that.

Speaker 2: 18:11

So we also want to talk about another interrupter of sexual intimacy, healing, and you need healing in this right now, and this is a big one.

Speaker 1: 18:22

We know that children play a huge role in interrupting sexual intimacy. So it's really important for us as women. I can speak for us as women, because men not so much, but for us as women I can speak for us as women, because men not so much but for us as women for the most part us as women we tend to have more stress concerning our children, making sure that they're in bed or making sure all the things that are done around the house are done that they are okay, yes, so we can't truly relax enough most of the times with children up or around or in the house.

Speaker 1: 19:02

So it's important for you we talked about this multiple times on Team Wade to have a schedule so that your children don't interrupt or disrupt the things or the time that you're trying to have with your spouse.

Speaker 2: 19:16

But the biggest thing is this training, training, training. Some of you are not training your children to have a schedule and to respect the boundaries of your sacred place, which is your bedroom. So what happens is, to your point, you may have started out nursing your child, you may have started out the child or children sleeping in your bedroom, especially if the child was a preemie or had any type of issues. And back to your point you want to make sure the child was a preemie or had any type of issues. And back to your point you want to make sure the child is okay. But now guess what has happened.

Speaker 2: 19:59

Your child has adapted to be in between you all and sleeping with a foot all up in your face, and all of that. So now you got three, four kids laid up in the bed and it's causing your sexual healing to have sexual hurt because you're not able to be intimate because you got all those people in the bed. And so I got to encourage you we want to encourage you that you got to go and retrain those children to be in their own bed, in their own room, and so some of you got children. They beating on the door. Harlan, open the door, let me in and all that stuff.

Speaker 1: 20:42

They can do all that.

Speaker 2: 20:46

Listen, let's talk about our situation. With our second child you nursed.

Speaker 1: 20:52

Yes, I nursed up until she was a year and so, plus around a year. Apostles, like time to go.

Speaker 2: 21:02

You gots to go, the milk got to dry up because they are not yours, so after the bible says let your wife's breasts satisfy you at all times and always being raptured with her love. So it's not for nursing till she become 100.

Speaker 1: 21:23

It's not for nursing.

Speaker 2: 21:24

I've seen three-year-olds still on the path Even more than that.

Speaker 1: 21:27

That's just abusive.

Speaker 2: 21:29

It's ridiculous.

Speaker 1: 21:31

And then also make sure that your children know that your personal bedroom is private and that you should knock before entering.

Speaker 2: 21:41

You don't just come in.

Speaker 1: 21:42

You should train your children early. You knock before you come in.

Speaker 2: 21:46

And you have to be asking.

Speaker 1: 21:47

And you have to be asking.

Speaker 2: 21:48

After you begin to set that boundary. But let's get back to how we broke, because what was happening after we made a decision that she was going to sleep in our own room?

Speaker 1: 22:00

Well, of course, like any one-year year old, they've been accustomed to being in between us for a whole year, so she was crying and just just waking the whole house up every night crying because she didn't want to get in her crib, and so we just had to let it happen. But after about a week or so, uh, she started realizing we weren't coming to get her so how many times she would lay outside that door hollering, fall asleep, wake up hollering again.

Speaker 1: 22:29

We had to endure that because we're training you, and so after about a week and a half, everything was okay so I want to encourage you young parents who think that they're hurting, or you know you're hurting them, by not opening the door and saying, oh, come on in. No, you're not, they will get over it About a week's time. After all that crying, no, it's gone. Listen, the whole house is going to be upset. The whole house is going to be disgruntled. My oldest daughter was like trying to put the pillow over her head. You know she had to endure that, but guess what? It worked. And I recommend trying it on the weekend so the kids don't have to get up for school the next day. Try it on the weekend.

Speaker 2: 23:08

Do it, any day you can do it.

Speaker 2: 23:09

And so that'll help you guys, and I mean, that is the process and we all, as parents, know the different cry, know the hurt cry from I want my way cry. And so some of you parents, you don't want them crying period, but you're going to have to endure it if you're going to train them to respect the boundaries of that sacred place. But some of you, all you're suffering in silence because you refuse to do what needs to be done. So we encourage you if you're going to have sexual healing, you have to endure that process with properly training your children discipline, get them out of your bed.

Speaker 2: 23:52

so these are things that you create a sex, a healthy sex life. So we're talking about sexual healing. So you know we want a good. That's one of the ingredients of a good healthy marriage is a healthy sex life. But we got to make it easier for each other to want to enjoy the pleasure of what God created with us Healthy sex life Absolutely and so we wanted to come and give you these tools, because a lot of times we don't talk about these things.

Speaker 1: 24:24

They don't, people don't talk about this stuff and you got marriages that are suffering.

Speaker 2: 24:28

Yes.

Speaker 1: 24:29

So go and get information from Teen Wave, from other experts that can help you if you are struggling in that particular ingredient in your marriage so that you can get it healthy again.

Speaker 2: 24:42

Yeah, because you own some people on the verge of divorce or they're on the verge of getting caught up in adultery. So we don't we don't want the enemy to get into our marriage. We want to have a God-fearing marriage, absolutely. That is the way God designed, and he want us to enjoy the pleasure of it until death. Do us part until we leave, and so we are here to help you with every part of your marriage. That's why subjects like these are not off base for us. We're willing to address them head on and give you the things that you need, because we need to touch on those, amen, amen.

Speaker 1: 25:25

So here's to sexual healing in your marriage and to healthy marriages long term. Yep Team weight signing out. Make sure you like and share, like and share. God bless you.