The Team Wade Podcast

Is Pride Sabotaging Your Marriage? Part One

• Team Wade

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Could pride be the invisible force destroying your marriage? In this eye-opening conversation, we tackle one of the most dangerous yet unrecognized threats to marital harmony, pride that operates like bad breath: everyone notices it except the person who has it.

Marriage is fundamentally a team sport, but pride makes it all about "me, myself, and I." We unpack how this self-centered perspective manifests in phrases like "I know, but..." and in the toxic belief that you're always right while your spouse is always wrong. This mindset creates a dangerous imbalance where you give yourself endless grace while extending none to your partner.

Drawing from Proverbs 11:2 and James 4:6, we explore the spiritual consequences of pride, including how God actively "resists the proud but gives grace to the humble." When pride dominates your relationship, you position yourself in opposition to God's design, even justifying disobedience to clear biblical instructions for marriage. The consequences are severe, hindered prayers and blocked blessings.

For husbands specifically, we challenge the pattern of living on "cruise control" while wives carry burdens they weren't designed to bear. True headship means being the primary burden-bearer, not just claiming authority without responsibility. We examine how God designed men and women with different emotional capacities and how pride distorts these complementary designs.

As Galatians 5:13 reminds us, liberty in marriage must be "wrapped in love," not used as an opportunity for selfishness. Your freedom and authority exist to serve your spouse, not yourself. This requires honest self-examination, pride's greatest enemy, and a willingness to identify and address the areas where self-focus has damaged your relationship.

Take this challenge: evaluate yourself honestly, be real with God about where pride exists in your marriage, and apply these truths to transform your relationship. Your marriage depends on it!

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Speaker 2:

Hello everybody.

Speaker 1:

Hello everybody, Welcome back to Team Way.

Speaker 2:

Welcome back. We're so glad to be back with you. We miss you, and so now we're ready to drop a lot more content so we can invest into your marriage, so you can continue to thrive and get victory in every area of your marriage and family life.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely. You know Team Way has had a lot going on but nonetheless we are excited to bring you content to change your marriage and relationship.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

And so we have a great topic today, and so we have a great topic today.

Speaker 2:

Oh my God, Is pride sabotaging your marriage?

Speaker 1:

Is pride sabotaging your marriage? Do you really Can you recognize pride? Because you know pride is very subtle.

Speaker 2:

Very subtle. It's like bad breath.

Speaker 1:

Everybody know you got it.

Speaker 2:

But you, except you, amen. So it's very subtle. Except you, except you, amen. So it's very subtle. And if someone doesn't just point the finger to it and let you see yourself, you will begin to operate in pride and it could be sabotaging your marriage. And so I see it a lot of times. We see it a lot of times All the time, when we're meeting with couples and then they say things like this I know, but so I know, but don't go together, right? Because once you say but you just deleted what, what you said previously, and so we don't, we don't want to see that in your marriage, because pride could be sabotaging what God wants to do, where you can have a successful marriage and create generational legacy and lineage, which is what marriage is all about.

Speaker 2:

You know, god is a multigenerational God. He's a God of family. He said I hate divorce. He didn't say I don't like it. He didn't say I dislike it. He said I hate it, I det like it. He didn't say I dislike it. He said I hate it, I detest it. And so we got to be the people of God that really recognize what are things that are impeding or hindering us from doing the will of God.

Speaker 1:

And you know we have a real enemy that hates marriage. You know, I don't think people realize how the enemy literally despises a unified marriage. Oh, my God he despises it, and so it's important for us, as couples, not to give place to the enemy, because the moment we give place to the enemy, we open the door to a legal right for him to come in and divide and conquer.

Speaker 2:

Definitely.

Speaker 1:

And so pride is has pride originated from the enemy? Yes, it did. It originated from the enemy. So of course he going to want that pride to be in that marriage, to sabotage that marriage. But we got answers for you today how you can recognize that pride is there so that you can overcome it.

Speaker 2:

And I want to let you know that pride is the sin of self, it's about self, and so marriage is a team game. It is a team sport. We like to say so. When you think about it, you're not in a marriage by yourself. You're in a marriage with another person and you all are doing life together. Yeah, you're building together. You're building your life together. You're building your family together. You're building your finances. It's a partnership Legacy, it's a total partnership.

Speaker 1:

It's a partnership, yeah that's good.

Speaker 2:

So when you think about it, pride sabotages, because pride makes you focus on yourself. It about me, myself and I right and that and that that doesn't work when you think about a marriage, because it's not me myself and I, it's we right, it's us right. And so when you think about yourself, pride would get you self-absorbed and it will not allow you to do what is necessary for the team to win.

Speaker 1:

Come on. So that's so important because I've seen where couples are so focused on what they want that selfishness shows up and it sabotages everything because it hinders you from coming together and working together and seeing the other side, like seeing the side or the perspective of your spouse. It's difficult to see your spouse's perspective when you're so self-absorbed with what you want or what you need.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

And it's a perfect recipe for a disaster in a marriage.

Speaker 2:

You better believe it, especially when you think about in marriage. It's about sacrifice, because you don't get everything that you want when you want it, so you got to sacrifice for the whole. But when you think about, pride is about self, so you're not going to sacrifice because you want what you want when you want it, when you want it, and you don't care at what expense and what cost that you're doing it for self.

Speaker 1:

And it's so immature when you think about it, like when you get married, you got to grow up, you got to lay aside all these selfish ways because, think about it, when you said that statement, it's about me myself and I Most children only think about me. When you said that statement, it's about me myself and I most children only think about me myself and I it's mine, right, it's mine. I don't want to share you know, I want what, I want when I want it and have a tantrum about it and how many people yeah, people in marriages I have in tantrums all the time, because they want what they want when they want it and they're.

Speaker 1:

They're not thinking about their spouse and it's creating a disaster in marriages. But we got some word for you guys, we got some scripture for you, so let's get into it.

Speaker 2:

Well, before I give you the scripture, I just want to say we're not talking at you, we're talking to you Because I know I had pride at one time that was sabotaging our marriage, and you speak for yourself. I can only speak for me, but I know I was self-sabotaging because me myself and I. And so we're not talking at you, we're talking to you, and so we're talking from a place of experience, so you can now walk in the place of victory and have a joyful, amazing marriage that it's not about yourself anymore, but you sacrifice for the whole.

Speaker 1:

Yes, it is possible.

Speaker 2:

One of the things, one of the points that the reasons you know that you're operating in pride.

Speaker 1:

you are always right. You're always right. So that's a sign that you are in pride, If you think you're always right and your spouse is always wrong. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

That's so good.

Speaker 1:

Wow, you don't have anything wrong Come on, come on, ain't nothing wrong with me. You know, my husband joke all the time that he's perfect and it's a joke. It's a joke, it's a joke, it's a joke. But the reality of it is some people actually think that, yeah, that they're always right, that they know everything and that you know their spouse is always wrong and they're the problem your spouse is always the problem.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so you're not bringing any challenges to the marriage, but your spouse is the only one. Wow, so the fact that you even think like that mean you're in pride. Come on, man, because you're doing something wrong. You're not doing everything perfect and so but. But when it's them, it's world war three. When it's you, it's not a big deal you know, that's how it works.

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah, that's how pride works yeah, yeah right, right.

Speaker 2:

So you give yourself all the grace oh, it's lots and lots of grace, but you give no grace.

Speaker 1:

No, it's no big deal. You know, I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it that way. Well, yeah whether you mean it or not, you did what it is. It's an issue. Yeah, yeah, so that's a great sign. That's a. That's a great sign. That's a that's a great point, that a sign that you are in pride is that you think that you always right.

Speaker 2:

And you're not, and you're not. No one is right now. Let's go to Proverbs 11 to read that for us.

Speaker 1:

Proverbs 11 to says when pride comes, then comes shame, but when the humble. But with the humble is wisdom.

Speaker 2:

So wisdom comes with humility. That's good. But when you're full of pride, you can't even receive wisdom, because you're so self-absorbed and so caught up in self that no one can even talk to you or even correct you. You can't even phantom that you're wrong and that's an issue, and so you know it's all about the sin of self and you're always right.

Speaker 1:

And you need humility. So pray for humility in your marriage.

Speaker 2:

But one of the things about humility it allows you to be teachable, so you have a teachable spirit.

Speaker 1:

Even if you're learning from your spouse.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, come on now, cause your spouse can have some wisdom.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely Amen. They have a perspective, and that very perspective could be the very thing that you need, and so that humility will allow you to receive from your spouse. Cause so many people think they know it all oh, I love, I love point number two.

Speaker 2:

Point number two is you would not allow. You would not allow, it would not allow you to do what is written in the word of god. You already know the word says husbands, love your wife as christ loved the church.

Speaker 2:

But when pride is present when pride is present, even though you know what the bible says, you would justify why you're not doing what the bible says. Oh my god, because pride angle is not going to allow you to bow. Pride is going to hold. It is stiff in you. It was stiff in, isn't? You know how the children stiff neck up and God called the children of Israel stiff neck. But you know a child stiff enough and you drag them through the grocery store. They won't bend their will. They would not bend their will to God's will or the parent will Wow, in this case, you won't bend your will to your father. Wow, in this case, you won't bend your will to your father. And so you know, it's written. But pride will still have you to debate or argue against the word of God.

Speaker 1:

My God, that's what pride will do. Pride won't even allow you, it won't even allow you, to humble yourself so that you can submit yourself to truth, which that truth is able to save your marriage. Wow, that's what pride is. Pride is very, very dangerous. It's a dangerous thing.

Speaker 2:

And so you have to be aware, because whenever you oppose God's will for your own, you're in a very, very dangerous place. You're in a dangerous place, and that'll lead you to read James 4.

Speaker 1:

James, chapter 4. Let's look at verse 6. But he gives more grace. But he gives more grace. Therefore he says God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.

Speaker 2:

Oh, my God.

Speaker 1:

God himself.

Speaker 2:

Resisting you.

Speaker 1:

Resist the proud, those who are in pride. God resists you.

Speaker 2:

So, if God is resisting you, who do you pray to Come on? Who do you pray to Come on? How do you even get a leading of Holy Spirit? That Holy Spirit can guide you if you, the one you dependent on for your blessings, the one you dependent on for your protection, the one you dependent on to guide you, to give you wisdom, knowledge, understanding, your protection, because we, we do understand that we're in a war against the princes and the powers of darkness. So, if God is resisting you, how do you overcome, how do you gain victory? So I mean that that is a very, very, very dangerous place to be.

Speaker 1:

It really is, because if God is resisting you, your prayers are not being answered.

Speaker 2:

Oh, my God.

Speaker 1:

The Bible talks about how God will hinder your prayers.

Speaker 2:

If I don't dwell with my wife according to knowledge and understanding. So there's a way and this is so. It so, there's a way and this is so. So God is so amazing and so cold that he has a system and he has checks and balances. Ok. So he said OK, man, I give you to be the head of this woman. So in being the head, that don't mean you get to do whatever you want to do, right? So the checks and balances if you don't dwell with her according to knowledge and understanding and treat her right, I will hinder your prayers.

Speaker 2:

See, I could I cut your off. I'll leave you in the dark if that don't get your attention. Hey, that got my attention because when I read that I'm like he'll hinder my prayers, right, my, my prayers going to be hindered. I don't know about you. I think big, I pray big, I want what I want when I want it, and so I can't afford for God to resist me, because I know wherever I am in my life, I am where I am because of the goodness and the graciousness of God toward me.

Speaker 1:

Amen. I love that check and balance. So I give you authority to lead, but I give you an understanding that if you misuse that authority, if you step outside that line and you misuse that authority, then there's going to be consequences. So I love the checks and balances that God puts in place to help keep us all in check. That's so good. That's a check and balance.

Speaker 2:

So you don't just get to do what you want to do and then think there's no consequence behind it. I love it. So that means you got to wield your authority with humility, that's right With love, with compassion, you know, with benefit of others. So it can't be just self-serving and self-seeking.

Speaker 1:

My God, that's so good.

Speaker 2:

Leadership should benefit the follower, not just the leader. That's good, hallelujah Amen. It should make you better by following me. That's right and it has. You should end up in a better place because you chose to follow and submit to me. That's right and it has. You should end up in a better place because you chose to follow and submit to me. It shouldn't be that I just got everything I wanted and you were left on the outside with nothing.

Speaker 1:

Come on now. That's lopsided. God hates a false balance.

Speaker 2:

I call it WAP, you call it lobster, that's WAP, amen. So I want you to read another scripture, so I want you to go to Galatians 5.13.

Speaker 1:

Galatians 5.13.

Speaker 2:

Oh, I love that.

Speaker 1:

It says For you brethren have been called to liberty Only. Do not use your liberty as an opportunity for the flesh.

Speaker 2:

So we free in Christ, we free to. We got free will. We free to do whatever we want. But God said he preference. He said you need to put parameters on your freedom. He said don't be so free that your freedom take you to the pride land, simba. So you need to know, even though I'm free to do whatever I want, don't let your freedom be an occasion for the flesh. And so we got to understand with the flesh. The Bible says in Romans 8 that the carnal man, or the fleshly man, is enmity to God. That's right. It's hostile, that is not subject to the law of God. Neither can it be because it's hostile toward the will of God. So he said don't use your liberty as an opportunity for your flesh, but through love, serve one another, through love, serve each other. So love got to be the leading force, not just your liberty. Your liberty wrapped in love, that's so good.

Speaker 1:

Oh my God, your liberty should be wrapped in love. In love Serving one another.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

In marriage, in partnership, in relationship.

Speaker 2:

I'm telling you, it brings me great joy to see you in joy, amen. It brings me great joy to see my wife in joy, right, to see her in peace, to not have her overwhelmed and stressed, overburdened, overburdened. Have her overwhelmed and stressed, overburdened, overburdened. Now I've seen a lot of men that live in cruise control and their wives live under burden.

Speaker 1:

Wow, I've seen it too. It's not a pretty sight.

Speaker 2:

It's not a pretty sight, but you are the head husband, you are the covering. So me as the covering, I'm the burden bearer. That's right. I am the heavy load, sarah. Oh, I feel like preaching right now. It sounds like the Lord, don't we? I like the Lord to our family. If you are the head, you are the covering. That means things hit you before it hits your family, before it hits your wife. So my wife is not going to live under stress and burden.

Speaker 1:

I should not be carrying loads that I was not built to carry.

Speaker 2:

You're not built like that.

Speaker 1:

And so I've seen where, in marriages where the husbands are checked out and the wife is forced, to carry loads that she was not built to carry.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And it creates so much strain and stress and resentment. Yes, oh, oh Resentment.

Speaker 2:

I'm going to touch that.

Speaker 1:

She becomes resentful of him because of that, because she's so broken down and beat down and carry the stressors of the family and the finances and the bills and the responsibility of a head that she's not supposed to be. She's a helper, not a head.

Speaker 2:

Come on, she's the other H, right, she's the helper, not the head. You, the head, she's not the head. And now she's operating as a head and not a helper. And then you don't switch the road and now you, you plug in the gaps as a helper. No, god made you the head and he built us different.

Speaker 2:

So, as a helper, you're built emotionally, different than we are as men. Right, but what has happened? We, we, we've gotten to a place where there are a lot of men that have been built emotionally, like, with feminine energy, energy as they call it. You, you're built like you, you a woman, and you're built emotional. We're not built to operate emotionally, we're built to operate logically, as men are logical. And then not only that, we were built to earn by the sweat of our brow. So that mean, that's why that, that, that, that, what do you call it? The, when you hit that male ego. So that's why men like to compete and and bump up against, because we built in a way to push through women. They are not built like that because so, when they get to and it, it exhausts their emotions, because you are the emotional creatures and you process through your feelings, and when it get overwhelmed.

Speaker 1:

It wipes you out emotionally it does, it does, it drains our energy, oh my god um, and you know it can spill over into intimacy where you just don't know nothing to do with. You know that, that part of the marriage, because you're overwhelmed.

Speaker 2:

I can't handle it, can't handle it. I don't have anything else to give. I'm exhausted emotionally and so for as a head, and so that's why pride is so dangerous, because if you self-serving, you're not paying attention to the condition and the state of your flock, as the Bible say, or the state of your wife, you're not looking at the fact that she's overwhelmed, because you're not standing in your position. And let me say this I understand that there are a lot of men that have a lot of childhood trauma. I understand that there are a lot of men that have emotional issues that is not balanced out, and a lot of it come from childhood.

Speaker 2:

I recommend that you get spiritual counseling and that you get natural counseling from a, a Christian counselor, because some of these people get you into new age beliefs If you go to the wrong counselor. So I recommend you get the help you need to get, but you can't allow your marriage to stay in that state. Listen, I just want to say this to you we have so much more content that we want to give you on this one particular subject, but this is what I want to challenge you with. I know you watched it, I know you tuned in, but I really want you to go back. Know you watched it, I know you tuned in, but I really want you to go back. Take the scriptures that we've given you, take the points, begin to meditate it, begin to allow it to develop roots in you and begin to apply these tools, these truths, into your marriage.

Speaker 1:

Look at, evaluate yourself, be real with yourself and before God, because that's what it's going to take to identify pride.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

Because otherwise you're going to think you're okay. So be real and look at what areas of pride am I in so that you can move from that place.

Speaker 2:

And I want you to begin to apply what we're teaching and I want you to continue to tune in. I want you to begin to apply what we're teaching and I want you to continue to tune in, because we have more content coming on this very subject. We have some more, so make sure you tune in.

Speaker 1:

All right Team Way signing out. We'll see you next time.

Speaker 2:

God bless you.