Divorce is Not an Option

Covenant over convenience. This powerful principle has anchored our marriage for nearly 33 years and continues to be our rallying cry against the epidemic of broken marriages.

We dive deep into why we made the non-negotiable decision that divorce would never be an option in our relationship. Rather than approaching marriage as merely an emotional arrangement, we committed to viewing it as the divine covenant that God designed it to be. This perspective has been transformative through every challenge.

Marriage merges destinies for divine purpose. When two people join their lives together, God establishes something that transcends individual fulfillment—a partnership with generational impact. We explore Malachi 2, where God explicitly states He hates divorce because it breaks covenant and disrupts His plan for godly offspring. Every decision to walk away from marriage without biblical grounds (adultery or genuine danger) creates ripple effects that can damage families for generations.

The real work of marriage isn't found in the wedding ceremony but in the daily commitment to become one. This process brings your deepest flaws to the surface and requires dying to self. Marriage reveals whether you're living for temporary gratification or eternal rewards. We speak candidly about our own struggles and moments of wanting to give up, offering hope that pushing through difficult seasons yields remarkable rewards.

For those contemplating divorce, we challenge you to ask: What has God said about your situation? Are you allowing your spouse's shortcomings to pull you out of divine purpose? The consequences of breaking covenant extend far beyond what you can see in the moment.

Ready to strengthen your marriage? Join our Patreon community for deeper conversations and personalized support as we continue this vital conversation in our next episode.

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Chapters

• 0:06 Welcome to Team Wake
• 0:32 Divorce Is Not an Option
• 1:40 Marriage Is a God Idea
• 5:16 God Hates Divorce
• 9:01 Generational Impact of Marriage Decisions
• 17:45 Fighting Through Hard Places
• 23:10 Join Us on Patreon

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:06

Hello everybody, welcome to Team Wake.

Speaker 2: 0:09

How you all doing.

Speaker 1: 0:10

Hope you all are doing well. We have a wonderful topic for you today. The topic we're going to talk about is why divorce was not an option. Why divorce is not an option.

Speaker 2: 0:24

Not was, but why it is not.

Speaker 1: 0:27

Ain't never gonna be an option. It should never be, and so we want to talk about that. You know, when we first got married, we made a decision that divorce is not an option for us. We made a decision that we were going to stick and stay, stick it out and grow it out we, we made a covenant in a covenant made a covenant in a cup.

Speaker 2: 0:48

see the covenant. The first covenant is when you get married. Then we made a covenant that, even though we're married, we're going to stick with the covenant by not allowing divorce to be an option for us to to Right, because, you know, what I learned is that a lot of people you know they have learned behaviors. So if you come from brokenness, broken family, it's easy for you to just fall right into the same thing. It's to be like what you've seen, right and so, but being saved and serving Jesus. We wanted to please the Lord. We wanted to please the Lord.

Speaker 1: 1:26

We wanted to please the Lord.

Speaker 2: 1:26

So that's why we made a covenant that divorce is not an option.

Speaker 1: 1:31

Divorce wasn't an option. So, in wanting to please God, listen. If you know anything about Team Way, you know that we are Bible believing people. Our very lives are based on the word of truth, and that's what we endeavor to give you. We endeavor to give you truth because, at the end of the day, the truth is what's going to anchor you, and what you know is the will of God for you, which is for your marriage to thrive and for your marriage to last in the long haul. You got to have truth. You can't have a lot of feelings, you can't have a lot of emotions. You know you can't have a lot of baggage or pass down fables that you got from your grandmother and your uncle or whoever it is that was an influence in your life. At the end of the day, you have to have truth, and so that's what we're endeavoring to give you. We're endeavoring to give you the truth, which should be an anchor, not only for your soul, but an anchor to hold your marriage down.

Speaker 2: 2:34

Well, one thing people got to understand that marriage is a God idea, and so by it being a God idea, there's not a lifetime movie idea being a God idea. There's not a lifetime movie idea. God was the one that came up, and when he said that, he made the two to become, one that they're one flesh, so they're no longer two, they're one.

Speaker 2: 2:53

And so the problem is, people fall in love with the idea of marriage and they don't really understand what marriage is. So the two becoming one, the moment you say I do, but then as you practically walking that out daily, in that marriage, the becoming one is where the work comes in.

Speaker 1: 3:13

That's where the work comes in.

Speaker 2: 3:14

And so it's a lot of work involved to becoming one. And we have talked to so many couples that have been married two years, three years, seven years and talking about where they not changing and this and that. Listen, you've been the way you are for however long you've been that way, and so you think in five years that you're going to go from being the person that you are to being a whole, nother person. And one thing about marriage marriage will bring out of you what you are, and there's no one that can bring the worst of you out like your spouse, because they're the closest one to you, they're the one you're one with and they're the one they can get on your last nerve if it was such a thing your first, uh, your first nerve, your last nerve and your in-between nerves.

Speaker 1: 4:04

It's amazing, though, how you can get along with everybody else so well. I mean, people love you. You love people yeah but as soon as you get home and their husband does something, why?

Speaker 2: 4:17

did you say that?

Speaker 1: 4:17

wife say that, wife don't say that because I'm a wife, so their husband does something, or their wife does something to irk you and you think it's just World War III. Yeah, you know why is that. Why is that? Why is?

Speaker 2: 4:34

it. The thing is bringing that flesh to the forefront.

Speaker 1: 4:38

Yes.

Speaker 2: 4:39

And then plus the enemy attacks marriages, so that's the biggest thing. And plus the enemy attacks marriages, so that's the biggest thing. You got to understand that the enemy hates marriage because it is a God idea and because what God made marriage to be and what it is for we can even see in the society we live in today because of the breakdown of the family. The breakdown of the family. You see the results, especially in communities like the Black community and other communities. Whenever there's a breakdown of the family, it has an impact. Breakdown of marriage, it has an impact on the whole family.

Speaker 1: 5:16

Absolutely yes, Major impact, which is where we are today in society. Just look at society. Look at where primarily the crime is coming from. It's definitely affecting our society, but we have some scriptures for you. We want to get into the word of God so that we can give you some truth that you can stand on. That can be an anchor to keep you grounded in your marriage.

Speaker 2: 5:43

It's a lot of work and we're going to say some tough things and so you just be ready for it and be here for it and understand we're here to fight for marriages. We totally against divorce but we are for marriages because God is for marriage.

Speaker 1: 6:04

And so, in a few days, here we getting ready to celebrate 33 years of message 's our trinity year. Huh, it's our trinity year by the son of the spirit 33. I like that thank you, jesus.

Speaker 2: 6:14

Well, let me let me read uh malachi, chapter 2, and beginning at verse 13, uh, he says, and this is the second thing you do, you cover the altar of the Lord with tears. So you crying out to the Lord at the altar, you on your face, worshiping, and with weeping and crying, so he does not regard the offering anymore. So, even though you crying, you bringing your gifts, your giving your tithes, your offering, god say he don't even regard your offering, he don't even look at it, he don't even receive it. And so he said nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. I don't know about you, I don't want to give in vain. I want God to receive my offering, he said.

Speaker 2: 7:05

Yet you say for what reason? Because the Lord has been witness. What is a witness? A witness is somebody that saw something that happened. They saw it take place. So, god, look what he said. The Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth. So, in other words, god sees what is going on in our household. He see what is going on in that marriage. He see how the husband is not loving their wife, as Christ loved the church. He see when the wife is not respecting her husband or submitting to her and so submitting to him, and so God sees all of this. He is a witness.

Speaker 1: 7:47

He sees the manipulation that can go on, you know. He sees the hiding of the money and not being truthful. Let's just go there. We don't go there, let's just go there. You know. He sees the emotional neglect that's happening between one spouse or another and not being present, so let's just go there.

Speaker 2: 8:08

Wow, amen. So he said I've been witness between you and the wife of your youth with whom you have dealt treacherously. That means you're just doing some of the worst things possible to your spouse and so we don't want to just focus some of the worst things possible to your spouse and so we don't want to just focus on just the husband treating the wife, because there are wives that are not treating their husband right, true, treacherously. And he said yet she is your companion and your wife by what Covenant, covenant. See, god is a covenant keeping God, everything he does is about covenant. That's why he don't like lies, that's why he don't like divorce, because it's covenant breaking.

Speaker 2: 9:00

And God is not a covenant breaker, he he is. When he says something, he's going to do it. When he commit to something, he's going to stick with what he commit to. Commit to something, he's going to stick with what he commit to and that's why he hate divorce. And so people fall so in love with the wedding, the cake, the reception, the dress, say yes to the dress, the tuxedo, the dance that they're going to do with it, all of that stuff, but you don't even think about the covenant, covenant, the commitment that you are making to the other person it's a covenant and so what happened you?

Speaker 2: 9:30

you get now. You get emotionally drained or you get emotionally frustrated because things are not working the way you thought they were going to work and all of that. Listen, marriage is for grown folks. Put, put your little toys up, kids and go back to the room. Grown folks in the room right now. And so marriage is grown folks stuff you got to put in work. You got to stay with your commitment, come hell or high water, as they say. Yes, regardless of what's going on, because hell going to throw all types of things at this marriage.

Speaker 1: 10:07

To make you want to quit give up, walk out on your covenant, hell would do anything to rip your marriage apart. So you got to know that. You got to know that we have a real enemy that's working against you. So don't help the devil.

Speaker 2: 10:22

But hell is coming against destiny, coming against purpose, because what has happened with us being together? We walk destiny together, right, because really, what marriage is? You are merging destinies together, yes, and when you merge them together, there's a purpose that God has for your marriage in the earth.

Speaker 1: 10:44

It goes back to what the Lord spoke to me when we first got saved. I think we were like two years in our marriage and the Lord said I need you. He tapped me on my shoulder in the spirit. He said I need you to let go of your husband's coattail and grab a hold to his arm, because I've called you two together.

Speaker 2: 11:07

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 11:08

So that marriage, that partnership, he merged our destinies together. Yes, that covenant brought our destinies in covenant together. So when the two becomes one, you're married to destiny.

Speaker 2: 11:22

Yes, just thought I'd say that, and it's the purpose that that you all are supposed to do together in the earth. Not only part of it is, if you have children, raise phenomenal children that understand who they are, that are confident, that are bold, that that are self-aware, that you help nurture and cultivate the gifts. That what it. That's what it means when they say train up a child in the way that they should go, because that mean you have prayed, that mean you've discerned and you're cultivating what God has made this child to be so they purposely live the destiny that God has for them. So that's part of your purpose together is to raise up these God, these children that God has given to you, to impact the earth, to impact the world, and so that's part of it. And so when we break down a family by doing a divorce, you shattering things that are happening in the spirit.

Speaker 1: 12:28

You should definitely.

Speaker 2: 12:30

That's enough by itself to make a covenant to say divorce is not an option, to take it off the table because your seed, your legacy, could be in jeopardy and and we're gonna get into later, uh, in maybe in another segment where where jesus he already let us know there's only one reason that we should get a divorce. And so we also talk about if your life is in danger. That's a whole different thing. If your life is not in danger and for the sake of adultery, you're supposed to stick and stay in that marriage.

Speaker 2: 13:08

But we know people, because of their rebellion against God and their flesh rule their life, that they're going to choose to do what they want to do. And so we have people in our church that come well, this is what we're thinking about. And then, like, you don't need our permission, you do whatever you want to do, because we're going to obey God, we're going to stand on the word, we're going to teach the word, we're going to live the word. So you choose to do whatever you want to do. You ain't got to impress us, you don't even have to please us. You got to stand before God, just like we got to stand before God for ourselves. Amen. And so if you choose to break the covenant and you okay with going, standing before Jehovah, god, have at it. And, as you're going to see when we go deeper into part one, two, three, whatever you're going to see what God has to say about the matter.

Speaker 1: 14:00

And you know what. That's one of the things that we always ask couples you know, the ones that have thrown in the towel. We ask what has God said? Yeah, what does God say about the matter? Yeah, because clearly you don't have a reason to divorce, but you have a reason. You have your own reason, but you don't have a clear biblical reason for divorce, but you don't have a clear biblical reason for divorce. And so what does God have to say about it? Go before God. If you are on the fence right now and you're thinking about throwing in the towel and breaking your covenant and there's no adultery.

Speaker 1: 14:37

And there's no adultery.

Speaker 2: 14:39

And your life is not in danger. Your life is not in danger.

Speaker 1: 14:42

Ask, go and ask God. What does he have to say about it? Well, some people say well, I know God want me happy. Really, Where's that in the Bible? I had never heard of that. What scripture is that? First self, one and two.

Speaker 2: 14:55

That's exactly right, because that's exactly what it is self. But what we got to understand, the Christian walk is a life of death. Christian walk is a life of death. And so the thing is, he said, if anyone going to be my disciple, he must first deny himself, take up his cross and follow him, and that's all. Marriage is is a denial. It is a death walk. You got to die because if you're going to be in right relationship with this other person that you're one with, you're going to have to die to yourself.

Speaker 1: 15:24

And dying is not always easy. But the sooner you gonna die, the better you better off you'll be, the better off your marriage will be hallelujah.

Speaker 2: 15:38

So let's read a little bit more. I I like this. He said yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But then what he says? But did he not make them one? He said having a remnant of the spirit. And why one? Why did god make us one? He can really tell us he seeks godly offspring, so he won't godly children. God is a God of family, he's a family God. He's the God of Abraham, isaac, jacob. He's all about family, he's all about community, he's all about healthy relationships, and especially when it come to marriage and family. And he said he hates divorce. That's a strong word. Why didn't he say I don't like it, I dislike it. It just made me a little upset. Yeah, I tolerate it. No, he said I hate it. And so that's a big deal, and. But yet somehow we think we're going to convince God to be on our side and to do what we want him to do. But God is not changing his word for nobody.

Speaker 2: 16:54

He exalt his word above his name so, if that's, we know how powerful his name is, the name at the name. Every knee must bow, but he said he exalt his word above his name, and so this is a serious thing that we're talking about when we talk about divorce is not an option, and so some of you, you need to rethink the decision that you're about to make and you need to understand you're going to have to give an account, and then, this is the thing there's a domino effect of our decisions. So you make a decision and you break up the family, and that thing goes down to generations. Generations are impacted by your one decision to walk out on your marriage.

Speaker 1: 17:42

But you know what, I know what it is, I know what it is, I know what it is. The reason why people choose to divorce is that they want current gratification. They want instant gratification. They don't want the eternal rewards because they're not living for eternity. That's living for self. Instant gratification because it takes a mature person to endure to the end. It takes a mature person to be able to stick and stay and stand for the eternal rewards.

Speaker 2: 18:26

But what if that person never changed?

Speaker 1: 18:31

you want me to say something else is your eyes fixed on eternity because that's really what it's going to come down to right.

Speaker 2: 18:38

Because what if that person never changes? So are their lack of change gonna get you out of will of god?

Speaker 1: 18:47

and I said so many of you you're gonna allow your spouse to get you out of the will of god and and cause you to forfeit your eternal, eternal rewards or and possible hell, possibly Possibly hell, because disobedience leads to unforgiveness, can lead to bitterness, and none of that can enter into the kingdom of God. None of that will enter into the kingdom.

Speaker 2: 19:16

I can remember our oldest daughter, tonicia. I was getting ready to drop off at the airport and she was talking about um. We were having a discussion about someone that had gone through a divorce and she's like, dad, I'm so glad you didn't that. If you had done that, I don't know how I would have been able to handle that. Now this is when she's 32 years old and she's saying that Now can you imagine your young children and the impact?

Speaker 2: 19:49

She said I don't even know how I would be able to deal with that, because so your decision has an impact that's greater than you, and so people have to. They have to die to themselves, they have to mature, they have to grow, they have to grow, they have to do a lot of things in order to stick and stay in their marriage, and and you got to really stop letting certain things and certain people get in your ear, because there's a lot of things that are being taught and said, especially on social media platforms like we are on right now, and they're saying things that that are against what God has to say, and so we don't get to usurp God's authority of his word with our opinions, because our opinion means nothing when it comes to the word of God.

Speaker 2: 20:42

And so we're going to live it and we're going to teach it and we make no apologies, and so there may be people have a lot of discussions and they mad at us and they come in doing a review and comments and doing all stuff you can try to come for us. All you want, at the end of the day, the word of god is the truth, and the truth will make you free. That you know that truth, that you know absolutely. And so we're not gonna argue with you, we're gonna live it and we're gonna preach it and we're gonna stand on business of this word, because you're gonna have to stand for yourself and you're gonna have to give an account of the collateral damage that you've left in yourself is left behind with your selfish decision, because when you think about the impact may go down to I don't know how many generations your one decision to choose to walk away from your marriage, and you didn't have a biblical reason to do it.

Speaker 1: 21:40

And that's the thing you know. You can make the choices, but you don't get to choose what the consequences are.

Speaker 2: 21:45

Exactly right.

Speaker 1: 21:46

And so we want to encourage you to fight. You know, fight through. We talked about plowing through, being able to plow through even the hard places. We want to encourage you to plow through those hard places so that you can see the reward on the other side. Listen, we are living in the reward of plowing through the hard place.

Speaker 2: 22:09

Building together.

Speaker 1: 22:10

Building together. But in the beginning it was so difficult, it was hard. I feel y'all Listen, we're not sitting here.

Speaker 2: 22:17

They don't understand. We're talking down to you.

Speaker 1: 22:20

We're not sitting here talking to you from a place that we've never experienced. We've experienced wanting to leave. We've experienced wanting to leave. We've experienced wanting to give up Experience.

Speaker 2: 22:31

I married the wrong one.

Speaker 1: 22:32

We've experienced all of that, and yet we just made a decision that divorce was not an option. Somebody going to have to grow up, somebody going to have to have delayed gratification Come on. And now we are sitting here enjoying almost 33 years on september 9th, and so we want to encourage. Y'all know we came out swinging, we came out hard, but you know we are spirit led.

Speaker 2: 22:55

We believe that we are talking to somebody who is on the brink of making that decision and it's going to have eternal ramifications, uh consequences, for you so you needed to hear it just like that, so we can joke you to, to shake you out of the state of wanting to walk away from that marriage and to destroy what god's plan is for your family and for your future generations so we don't want that.

Speaker 1: 23:22

We definitely want you to plow through, so that's why team weight is here. Listen, if you have not joined our patreon, we want to go deeper in conversations like that. We want to be able to give you personal pour, so make sure you follow us and join us on patreon and we'll see you next time, because we're going to continue in this same subject matter in episode number two in this series. Why divorce was not an option is not an option. See you next time on Team Wade.