Divorce is Not an Option: Part Two

What happens when you remove all escape routes from your marriage? After nearly 33 years together, we've discovered that viewing marriage as "a room with no windows and no doors" creates the foundation for lasting love.

Scripture is clear: God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). This powerful truth reveals that divorce originates from the kingdom of darkness, not from God's heart. When couples understand this, they stop casually threatening divorce during arguments and instead commit to working through every challenge together.

The transformation begins when selfishness dies. Like a grain of wheat that must fall to the ground before producing fruit, we must die to our own desires before our marriages can truly flourish. Many couples today expect instant results in our microwave society, but lasting change requires plowing in hope - continuing to sow good seeds even when the harvest seems distant.

One practice that revolutionized our relationship was speaking life over each other instead of criticism. The power of life and death truly is in the tongue. When you consistently declare God's Word and positive affirmations over your spouse, these words take root and gradually transform both your partner and your relationship.

Your marriage testimony becomes a powerful legacy. When you fight through difficulties rather than escaping them, you gain wisdom and authority to guide future generations. Your children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren inherit not just your name, but your example of covenant faithfulness.

Ready to transform your marriage? Make a firm declaration today that divorce is not an option. View challenges as opportunities for growth rather than reasons to escape. Join us in building marriages that stand the test of time and reflect God's unfailing love.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Why Divorce Is Not An Option
• 2:33 God Hates Divorce - Scripture Insights
• 6:21 Dying to Self in Marriage
• 9:31 Marriage With No Windows or Doors
• 13:57 Speaking Life Over Your Spouse
• 17:37 Prayer for Troubled Marriages

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:06

Hello everybody, welcome back to team way what's happening? What's happening hope you guys are doing well. I hope you guys watched our previous video on this subject. The subject that we're talking about is why divorce is not an option. It was not an option for us. We made that decision early on in our marriage, and here we are today celebrating almost 33 years on September 9th. So we're excited about bringing you part two to this subject today, and I'll let you start it off.

Speaker 2: 0:42

Well, I want to pick back up on one of the verses I was reading over in Malachi, chapter two, and I want to pick up in verse 16. He said for the Lord, god of Israel, says that he hates divorce, for it covers one's garments with violence, says the Lord of hosts. Therefore, take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously and so notice, god hates divorce. So that means it comes from the kingdom of darkness, because there's only two kingdoms. So it doesn't come from the kingdom of God, it comes from the kingdom of darkness. So the enemy want to break up families. He want to destroy God's plan for marriage, and so part of his plan is so you can raise godly offspring or godly children.

Speaker 1: 1:34

I love what you said, though we can't just run past that. You said in the scripture. It just said God hates divorce. So just think about that. I want you to really think about that. Couples, you're listening to this. Just think about it. If God says that he hates divorce, then listen, it comes from the other kingdom. So if you really look at it from that perspective, you'll understand. If God hates it, then you know it's got to come from the other kingdom. Then you know it's got to come from the other kingdom because God hates it. And so if you join yourself when making a decision to divorce, then you're siding with the kingdom of darkness. I just thought I'd put that out there so that you can see it from that perspective. God hates it. It comes out of another kingdom, the kingdom of darkness.

Speaker 2: 2:33

And if you side with it, then you're siding with the kingdom of darkness. So I want to go a little further into the scriptures Matthew 5, 31 and 32, it said. Furthermore, it has been said whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce. But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery. Wow, God is serious about this.

Speaker 1: 3:03

And this is Jesus talking.

Speaker 2: 3:05

Yes. So people think, well, you know, I can just I'm off, scot-free, I'm done with this, I'm on to the next. But that's not how God is looking for it. Looking at it, and then you got to think you got to stand before the Lord having violated his covenant. You got to stand before the Lord having violated his covenant, and then you you take it like it's casual. And that's the thing that I'm concerned with some people about, that. They think they can just walk away. Now, if you're going to divorce and you choose not to remarry, that's going to be on you. But can you really do that?

Speaker 1: 3:42

Can you really do that? Can you really stand in that decision? Because it may seem easy when you're in a situation or you're in your marriage and you can't stand it anymore and you'll say, well, I'll just you know, emotionally say, well, I'll just do what Jesus said and I won't get married again. Then you're on the other side of that and your flesh is awakened and you, you know, want to do things that married people do. What do married people do? You know all the things that married people do have a relationship, have intimacy, and you're single.

Speaker 2: 4:16

We're saying married people have sex.

Speaker 1: 4:18

Yeah, and you're single and you're on the other side of that and you're on the other side of that, then that opens up a whole nother can of worms that you didn't even really have to deal with had you decided to stay and work out your marriage relationship.

Speaker 2: 4:36

My, my, my. That is going to be a challenging thing. So you really, what you really want to do, is make a decision that I am not going to come in agreement with the king of the dark. That's so good. I am going to come in agreement with Holy Spirit and I am going to allow him to help me deal with whatever issues or whatever unforgiveness, whatever bitterness, whatever frustrations that I have dealt with from this marriage, and I am going to allow him to help me to stick and stay.

Speaker 2: 5:14

It's good, even if my spouse never changes, because one of the things about obeying God it don't come with conditions. He don't say obey, love your wife If she's acting, if she acting right, right, if she doing everything you want her to do, then I want you to love her. No, he said husbands, love your wife as Christ loved the church, and we know the church can act a clown, and he still love us. Yes, he does Amen. And he still love us. Yes, he does amen.

Speaker 1: 5:49

So so we got to make a decision that our obedience is not predicated on somebody else's uh decision or lack thereof you know, I tried to pull that in our marriage early on where I went to the closet, to the prayer closet because I was sick and tired of him. So I'm going with my list of things that I needed for him to change, for God to change in him. So here I am, little me, going in my prayer closet to God to tell him that I, this one, needs to be changed, you need to change him. And the Lord sent me right on up out of that closet with a whole list of things that he had for me to do for him.

Speaker 2: 6:40

That's called marriage.

Speaker 1: 6:42

So you know it's called dying. So that was the beginning of my death process. That was the beginning of me experiencing delayed gratification. So, before he even changed one thing, I still had to do what God told me to do, which was to serve this man of God, and I did.

Speaker 2: 7:04

But see, this is the thing A lot of people don't really understand. That that's what marriage really is. Marriage is giving yourself to your spouse and that's wanting to please them, and that should be on both sides Right. But so many of us in our marriage we're self-centered and it's all about what about me? What am I going to get out of it? All of those things? The Bible says this except a corn of wheat, fall in the ground and die, it abides alone. In other words, as long as you got that one piece of corn or that corn of wheat and you eat it, you now no longer have a greater harvest.

Speaker 1: 7:54

No longer have a harvest period.

Speaker 2: 7:55

But if you let it go in the ground, you sow it, multiply it. It now would go in the ground and germinate. That's what dying is. It germinates, it starts growing under the ground before it comes up and grow up above the ground. And so many of you, you don't want to die and reap later. You want to reap now but not reap later. And so you're trying to hold on. And this is what Jesus said he that tried to save his life will lose his life. But if you lose your life for my sake, you're going to find your life. And so I remember Holy Spirit showing me toward you, that quit trying to go tit for tat because she wasn't going to out, talk me and and win no battles and none of that. So I was, I was dominating in that department, but how was that working for me? All I'm doing is tearing her down. So how is that building a healthy marriage?

Speaker 1: 9:02

It's not.

Speaker 2: 9:02

No, it builds flesh. It builds a healthy flesh. It builds a flesh that pats itself on the back. It's building ego.

Speaker 1: 9:11

Building ego is building pride and all of that foolishness all of those are recipes for disaster, exactly in a marriage relationship but because we had made the covenant that the voice was not an option.

Speaker 2: 9:26

We look at marriage as being in a room with no windows and no doors. But what has happened? Many of you, you don't have a marriage built around no windows and doors. You have plenty of windows and doors. Which mean what do we mean by no windows and no doors? What we mean by that is you have options to get out, and long as you have an option to give out, get to get out. You're not gonna give your all. But when you say our marriage is filled with no windows and no doors, that means there's no way out of this marriage except death. And if there's no way out but death, that means you're gonna either be in that room, miserable and to death, do you part, or you're going to work it out. Right, and so that's what we chose to do. We're going to work it out because I'm not going to be miserable, I am not going to live a miserable life for the rest of our life, and that's how our marriage turned around, because we took the windows and doors out.

Speaker 1: 10:32

We took the windows and doors out. It forced us to deal with ourselves. It forced us to get rid of selfishness yes, which that's the primary culprit. Selfishness and pride run together. They're like Siamese twins they connected. So where there's selfishness, then there's pride, and that's usually what the primary culprit of dividing people in marriages is selfishness. It's immaturity. So it forced us to grow up. It forced us to put away selfishness pride. It forced us to really focus on the needs of one another. It forced us to look at the other person's perspective, to see what it is that they're really wanting from me.

Speaker 2: 11:20

And it also forces you to really become a team. That's why we use the team concept, the team mantra.

Speaker 1: 11:30

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 11:30

It's because that's what it's going to be. It's us against the world, it's us against the kingdom of darkness. So we're not going to be the enemy toward each other of darkness. So we're not gonna be the enemy toward each other and so many of you.

Speaker 1: 11:47

You never develop a team concept, right your enemies in your own marriage and you have the same name. It's like you're fighting against one another. You're fighting to win these little battles when you should be really fighting to win the war, the war against, because that's what's warring against these marriages.

Speaker 2: 12:04

And to build a family lineage. Because now, when you're not only your children, but when your grandchildren come, your great-grandchildren come, now you get to sow nuggets into them of how they are to stay married. Yes, but you cannot teach that once you break up, give up and break covenant, your word is not going to have the same potency as it would when you have fought to stay married when you've overcome something.

Speaker 1: 12:38

Yeah, when you became victorious over it.

Speaker 2: 12:41

It's a greater power.

Speaker 1: 12:42

It's a greater power. It's a greater testimony. You can actually show people the ropes on how to make it out successfully, but if you don't plow through that, you'll never have a testimony.

Speaker 2: 12:54

And so we want to encourage you. You got to continue to plow. We want to encourage you. You got to continue to plow. You got to continue to stand. You got to continue to forgive. You got to continue to intercede for your spouse. You got to continue to decree over them and speak over them and see the best in them, not caught up in what they've been doing. You got to look beyond that, because God said he called those things that be not as though they were.

Speaker 2: 13:26

You're going to have to do that for your marriage. You're going to have to do that. Everything in God's kingdom operate by faith. You got to love your spouse by faith. You got to submit to them by faith. You got to respect them by faith. You got to be what you're supposed to be by faith, because as you're sowing, as you're being that corn a week that fall in the ground and die, they may not change at all for the first five years, as you're doing what you do. But you got to keep doing it because you're plowing in hope. And so what happens? A lot of time people don't plow in hope. They think if it don't happen tomorrow it don't work, because we live in a day that everything is instant gratification.

Speaker 1: 14:10

Microwave society. Let me say this. Let me say this we have a sure testimony of how that works. I remember the first time my husband started we had been just back and forth at each other, just going like two rounds at one another, and we had never tapped into what he just said, declaring over your spouse and washing your spouse with the washing of the water by the word of God. We had never tapped into that because we were so busy fighting and arguing and being selfish to one another.

Speaker 1: 14:52

So I remember the first time he tapped into that with me, we were at this event and the coordinator of the event the couple's event started giving instructions to just look your spouse in the eye and start speaking over them. So he went first and he did that. And when I tell you, it's like he was sowing new seeds in my heart, in my soul, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Those words immediately started taking root in me and he started seeing some subtle changes, all because he chose to wash me with the washing of the water by the word of God. He started doing what the Bible says and then the harvest of it eventually showed all the way up.

Speaker 2: 15:41

So we have proof that it works oh, it works, but you got to work it. And, and you can't work it expecting the harvest coming tomorrow. You, you can't work it expecting the harvest may come in five years. You got to do it because this is what you're supposed to do, plowing in hope. And so let God be God, but you control what you can control, and so you can control what you're going to do, but you can't control what your free will spouse is going to do. But I believe God will work on your behalf as you continue, and you choose to continue to go in and stick and stay into what God has mandated each of us to do. As husband or wife, he's given us a responsibility of what we're supposed to do.

Speaker 1: 16:32

So I want you, if you're watching this with your spouse, or even if you're by yourself and you're listening to this podcast, I want you to say out loud make a reckoning within yourself that I'm making a decision right now, before God, that divorce is not an option. Say it out your mouth. I repent for even throwing divorce around. You can't just throw that word around just because you have a big falling out or a big splat and say I want a divorce, I'm gone.

Speaker 2: 17:05

Okay, but what is the Bible? It says the power of life and death is in the tongue. It's the power of the tongue, and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. So when you're sowing the seed of divorce into your marriage, the fruit thereof it will be what you're eventually going to eat.

Speaker 1: 17:23

So, so good seeds. Make a declaration right now, make a decree right now that divorce is not an option for me and my spouse, and hopefully you two come together to make a covenant within yourselves again yes, revisit the covenant so that you can stand and stay the long haul for a successful marriage.

Speaker 2: 17:46

Stand strong. Remember your marriage is a room with no windows and no doors.

Speaker 1: 17:52

Well, I also feel like we need to pray for marriages, those who have been throwing that divorce word around, and you know you've gotten convicted and you've repented. Let us pray for you that you're able to walk these principles out that we're giving you. So, father, in the name of Jesus, I pray for each and every couple under the sound of my voice. I pray that you would give them the strength to stand, having done all to stand, to be able to overcome the hard places that they're facing in their marriage. Father, I pray that they make a covenant with you that divorce is not an option. I bind every divisive spirit that would try to come and bring division and discouragement and I pray, father every plan, every plan, every scheme of the enemy against that marriage, against that family.

Speaker 2: 18:51

We break it. Yes, we break it now, in the mighty name of.

Speaker 1: 18:55

Jesus. In the name of Jesus. We thank you for total victory and supernatural strength to stay In the name of Jesus. We thank you for total victory and supernatural strength to stay In the name of Jesus. We pray, Amen. Well, I hope you've already joined our Patreon. We are going to be bringing you some up close and personal content, so you don't want to miss this entire episode. Stay with us this entire episode. Stay with us, Visit the entire view, the entire episodes or series that we're doing on why divorce is not an option, and we'll see you next time on Teen Wave Signing out.