Episode 3: “The Power of Friendship: Building Connections That Last”

Hey friend! If you are listening to this podcast then I consider you a friend! So thanks for the gift of your time---it's a gift to connect with you in this fun way. In this episode we chat about the gift of friendship and how our presence in people's lives is a present! Being mindful about being intentional with "our people"---that's truly a gift! I hope you'll be encouraged and inspired to take the Change Chaser's Challenge and take Action Steps to bringing some joy, love, and sunshine to whoever comes to mind as you listen to this episode. Let's Go! 

Faith in Action // Change in Motion

Transcript

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Well, hey, hey, hey. Welcome back to Change Chasers. This podcast is where we are, y'all we're just growing as we're going. I'm trying to figure all of this out, so I will say thank you. Thank you, thank you so much for coming back and being a part of this journey with me and. Shoot fire. I'm hoping we will be growing as we're going together, and so I'm excited for today's episode. We're going to be talking about one I. Of the most treasured and cherished things in my life, and I would go ahead and venture to say that it most likely is in your life as well, the power of friendship and building connections. That last is this episode title, and so with it, I'm just wanting to hopefully allow us just to kinda hit pause and all of the hustle and bustle and all of the to-do list and all of the things that. Our just demands of life, right? That have us kind of occupying all of our time and all of the things for us to be able to stop and chat for a brief amount of time about the beauty of human connection and how we can cultivate more meaningful relationships, more meaningful friendships. And so with today as these other episodes, I am grateful to share with you that. It's a gift and it's a joy to spend time with you. So my name is Mandy Ledford and I'm grateful for your time. And so today as we're going to talk about the gift of one of life's greatest treasure's friendship, so let's go sweet friends. Here we go. Friendship to me, I will say that I don't think that's necessarily just about hanging out or sharing laughs. It's truly about connection. I think that great friends are friends that I trust, right? Anybody else like, yes. If you can't trust your friend, then it makes it really tough. I know that to be true, and so I think the connection and trust and walking through life with people I. Who truly see and support you. I mean, it's a game changer, isn't it? I mean, it just makes such a difference in all, all of our lives. I think we're all probably nodding our head like, mm-hmm. Yes. We're thinking of those people who make our days better, right? And so in this episode, I. Together we're gonna be exploring what makes a good friend and how to nurture your friendships, and hopefully to give you even some inspiration on how to handle challenges that might come along with them. So let's go ahead and dive in Hot. Take number one. What makes friendship so powerful? Friendship to me, I think is one of the most important relationships that we can have. And even studies will show that strong friendships contribute to better mental health, lower stress levels, and even longer lifespans. And so beyond science, y'all, we know that this from life experience, that my opinion life is simply better when it's shared with good friends. I love those memes or maybe reels of little old ladies. I'm a woman, so I have a perspective of a woman. If you're a fellow listening, then you know, look at it in a manly way and with your, with your fellas, but I just love those memes or or whatever, where it'll have the old ladies and it'll have some reference about sitting on the front porch, rocking chairs, or the type of trouble we're gonna get into when you're this old or whatever. It just always cracks me up because it makes me stop and think about I. Who is in my life now that I can picture being in my life in many, many years, right? Where we're gonna be, white hair or gray hair and just living life together. And maybe you're in a different stage of life than I am and you're listening to this and you're thinking, man already got the white hair or the gray hair. And so I just, I, I just am filled with joy with you of whoever you're thinking about in this time about who. Is a gift to your life. Who is it that is making your life better? And so throughout this episode, I hope that you will be encouraged to, I'm gonna kind of give you some call to action at the end to reach out to those people that you're thinking about. And so, but when I think about the core of friendship, I think about trust is a must, is like what I like to say, that trust is, I mean, it's essential to a healthy friendship, right? And so friends are people that you can rely on. No matter what, I think that True Friends offer mutual support. A true friend celebrate your wins and stands by you in your tough times or in your losses. And so just thinking about who has been right there beside you, who has I? Offered that shoulder, so to speak, to either cry on or maybe the hand to pick you up when you're at your lowest of low's. And so I think that great friends are who we have connections with, right? Like friendship is all about feeling understood and valued. I have been also thankful. I have a friend named Jana who has always been really gracious to say to me that you are seen. You are loved, you are valued, and you are heard. And I've never forgotten anytime she always says that to me. And no matter, good, bad, ugly of life, those are powerful sentiments of truth that I think are game changers in our day. Right. And so encouraging you also of, you know, just the whole idea of we being like Jana, or we being a person who makes people feel seen, valued, heard, and loved. I don't know, maybe that's just a little tidbit that we can stop and hit pause and think about a little bit. And another one of those. Growing as we're going opportunities, right? If we're not doing that, then hey, what we start today changes tomorrow. And so I can be good or it can be bad. So let's make it good. I'm gonna share a quick story with you guys now. Um, I wanna share about a time that I remember when I was facing a tough decision and. My friend was so gracious to, she didn't tell me what to do, and she didn't tell me what I wanted to hear either. And that has never left me as far as like really, really valuable life experience to go through, right? She just simply sat and listened. She listened with me and she was just so gracious to be there. And when I look back on that memory, I think about that moment reminded me, I. Of how valuable it is to have someone who's willing to just be there, right to, to give the gift of their presence. What a present ending with tea that is, right? What a gift, what a present someone's presence is. For somebody to be there for us without judgment. Offering a safe space to be able to work through life challenges. Man, y'all. It truly is a gift. And so my hot take number two is the different types of friends that we all have, you know, and kind of segueing through and thinking about not all friendships look the same, right? I mean, and that's okay. Each type of friend plays a unique role in our life. And when I stop and I pivot my perspective as we talked about in episode two, that it, it really helps me to stop and think about. Okay. Well, you know, not everybody's going to always necessarily go through every day of my life with me, which is not always easy. It can be sad, it can be hard. It can even be lonely. I mean, it can be confusing. I mean, right. I mean, whew, goodnight. Some of our, um, experiences in life are relationships, our friendships, um, you know, it just doesn't necessarily always lead to a straight and narrow path, right? I mean, we get to have. Those amazingly awesome lifelong friends, though some friends that come along are those lifers. Mm. I'm always, I'm thankful for those lifers, those lifelong friends, that to me, those are the friends who have been with you through thick and thin, right through childhood, and by thick and thin, I should say. Whew. Yeah. They knew me when I was thinner. Right? Now, they still love me when I'm thicker, but, um, that's probably what that line really means, right? That expression. But in all seriousness, I'm grateful for those friends that stick with me through thick and thin. My childhood friends, my college friends, college roommates, um, my 20 something year roommates, my just, all of the people that have been so awesome and impactful my life. I think about former coworkers, current coworkers. Then I even think about friends who have turned into family. Some of my friends that are my lifelong friends, I actually call them my family. And so they're a pretty special group of folks that, man, I can't imagine my life without'em, you know? So those lifelong friends are the friends that stick with us through thick and thin, and what a gift. What a gift those friends are. And then I also think about though, that there's those friends that are in our lives, though for a season. And so you might hear that expression that, you know, there's friends that come for a season, a reason or a lifetime. And so when I think about seasoned friends, or they're the ones that come into your life for a specific season and offering exactly what you need during that time. And so those are opportunities to treasure them for that snippet of time that we get to do life together. And so having a pivot, a perspective rather than being. Sad because maybe those friendships kind of fizzle out, that it doesn't necessarily, it's not necessarily a bad thing, it just means that they were a part of your life at just the right time, right? They were involved in your life and the capacity in which it was best for you and best for them. And so then I also think about these really unique friends that I would say another really ideal, awesome friend that I'm grateful to have in my life is the mentor friend. And so that friend is the one who inspires you to grow. Maybe this friend also doesn't just inspire you to grow, but he or she challenges you to grow, right? It's like in that expression I've shared with you guys previously is that I'm not calling you out, but I am calling you up, and so the mentor friend is someone who will help you to see your potential. And then I think about how cool it is though to have the fun friend, and I'll shoot you straight, y'all. I am known as the fun friend in my circle of friends. And so sometimes it gets exhausting because I mean, you know, and everybody just is fun. No, I'm just kidding. Like, it's a gift to bring laughter and light and um, goodness to people's lives. And so you put, my friend Kelly and I together we're Enneagram Sevens. I don't know if you do the Enneagram, but we. We do not think that, um, if things get too serious, we, we ready to make people laugh, right? We don't think that we should be bored and that we're willing to do whatever it takes in order to lighten the room or a situation. And so being a fun friend. Is a joy, and I'm grateful for that. And I'm really grateful for those friends that are fun friends of my life as well. And so I think about a fun friend is one who knows how to bring laughter and joy into your life. And so I think about those four different types of friends. And obviously we could go on a whole nother gamut of like, and this friend and that friend and you know, in this other descriptive adjective of some really awesome people in that, folks that. Have really honorable attributes. And so, but I'm just, you know, for time's sake, I just wanted to get you to thinking about like what type of friend are you being, and I think it kind of depends on who else we're, you know, the reciprocation in our life of lifelong friends, seasoned friend, mentor, friend, or fun friend, you know? And sometimes it's a blend of all four of those and how awesome that is and how rare it is to be able to have those special people though that fit all of those categories and. And so I just wanted to encourage you with thinking about how friendship can add value in its own way and how it's okay if some relationships do shift over time. So rather than being sad, bad, mad, gloom, doom, all of that, what if we pivot our perspective and we just think about, wow, man, I'm so grateful for this memory and that memory and this really awesome, wonderful time. I know that we can get caught up in now day, modern day with all of the social media, and we'll have followers and all of these friends. And I say that in quotations because you know, there's people on Facebook that I don't even know if I've met'em in real life. I mean, anybody else like you, just like whenever Facebook first came along all those years ago, you're like, yeah, let's go. Let's add'em. We don't even know. I mean, it could be some creeper stalker, but they're our Facebook friend, right? I mean, it's the craziest thing ever. And so. Society though, puts that pressure, it's almost kind of performative in some ways, especially social media goes. And when I think about social media, I think about the people who post only what is awesome in their life. It's like that highlight reel. And you've heard, you've heard people talk about this before, I'm sure sermons or, you know, just little things of, um, this is no new news to you, but just thinking about. All of the pressure, so to speak, that gets placed on us about relationships and how if things just, you know, might not always be what you always hope that they would be. I mean, there's some unmet expectations that I think unfortunately, we all have been there, done that, and we all hoping that we're not doing it tomorrow. Right. And so just encouraging you to kind of stop and think about like what type of value are you adding to other people's lives? Are you being an awesome coworker? Are you being a great teammate? Are you being a wonderful friend, brother, sister, husband, wife, cousin, grandma, grandpa? I mean, like, whatever, right? Like, are you being somebody who makes everybody feel like a somebody? And so when I'm transition, now over in, I'm about to hit you with hot take number three, I hope with, you know, thinking through like what type of friend you are that'll inspire you. If you are not being who you wanna be, then hey. You know what? Start today. Start today. So hot. Take number three is how to be a better friend. That kind of segues over, and so when I stop and I think about great friendships, unfortunately they don't just happen. I mean, you might have an acquaintance that you have a good time with and just have a few laughs in hear, but really great friendships don't just happen. They require effort and intentionality. And so, I mean, sometimes they even require you to pull out your calendar. It might be February, but you're scheduling. A dinner date for May the 15th. Right? I mean, like real talk. We are crazy busy and life can get away from us before we know it. And so when we go through and we just think about how can we nurture our friendships better, I'm gonna, I. Talk about three ways for time's sake here. Just thinking through. Number one, be present. Right? Be present. I already said it a moment ago that our presence is a present. And so in a busy world, y'all showing up whether physically or emotionally, it makes all the difference in the world. So sometimes we might need to put down our phone as well. That's one thing I would encourage you. Next time you go out to eat at a restaurant, look around at all the tables around you and count how many people are on their cell phone. It blows my mind. It absolutely blows my mind of how many people are in the presence of some amazing people sitting at a table to have a meal, but they're scrolling on their phone. Hmm. I really try to make a conscious effort not to do that because I want the people that I'm with in their presence. To know that they are more important to me than what is on that little device that I'm holding in my hand, that I'm scrolling. Boom. Scrolling is real, isn't it? I mean, real talk though. I think it's important to put our phone down and really engage when we're spending time with our friends. My point number two is communicate honestly. Good friendships are built on open and honest communication, so. Don't be afraid to express gratitude, right? To address misunderstandings or share your feelings, you know, being real, just being open and transparent and honest. And number number three on this one is celebrate them. A true friend rejoices in your successes and so be their biggest cheerleader. Even in the little things, because I think when we can do that, y'all, it just brings, it brings joy and life and hope, and it allows people, as Jana always says, to feel seen, valued, loved, and heard. And so my sweet friends, I will say, my challenge to you this week is that I want to challenge you to reach out to a friend that you haven't spoken to in a while and. Send them a text or give them a call or maybe even schedule a coffee date. Hey, you might even wanna go old school and send them some snail mail. Love a KAA card, right? You might have to go and you might take out a loan to buy a stamp nowadays'cause it is getting so expensive. But, um, hey, there's nothing better than snail mail love, right? A card, something that's not a bill. What a joy that would bring to their mailbox as they get to pull that out. And see that you were so gracious and kind and you were thinking from them. Or if you're like me, then you might even wanna do the idea of placing an Amazon order and you will be just sitting excitedly waiting for the delivery to arrive at their doorstep, right? I mean, hey, real talk if that's more your speed. Been there, done that, and I, I might be doing that tomorrow. Um, but my challenge to each of us, myself personally, I'm gonna do this too, sweet friends, is just. Let somebody know that you're thinking about'em. Let somebody know that they're seen, they're valued, they're loved, and they're heard. All right now for my hot take. Number four, navigating friendships and the challenges that unfortunately can come sometimes in. Friendships in any relationships, but friendships, like any relationship, it can face difficulties, right? They can face difficulties, and maybe there's been a misunderstanding or perhaps life has pulled you in different directions. And so when I stop and I think about this happens, right? This is really real. I've had a circumstance like this that's happened in my life and this last year, and it's been one of the most challenging, difficult. Uh, hardest things that I've ever had to live through. And so thinking about how do we handle things though with grace? How do we, how do we just do better, right? How do we be able to honor and love someone well, and so when I was thinking through this, I thought, you know, number one point is how do we address conflict, right? Well, the best way to address conflict is to do it early. And I've learned that. I mean, we live and learn, right? So ignoring issues only makes them worse. Now, this is my opinion, of course, but when I think we ignore, ignore issues, it just seems to make things get outta hand more. It hurts feelings more as time goes on. It's almost like you've heard that expression, the the, um, you know, the mole hill, like into the mountain and that kind of thing. And so, uh, making a mountain out of a mole hill, that's the expression. There we go. And so, um, having a an honest conversation I believe is crucial. I believe it's also really, really. Spiritually wise. And so the approach that we get to have with that is to have of love and understanding and thinking about spiritually as being a woman of faith. I think about in Matthew chapter 18 and verses 15, 15 through 20, it outlines a process for resolving conflict. It, uh, with, you know, being in a. Christian community, it says to start with a private confrontation, then involve witnesses. And finally bringing the issue before the church with the ultimate goal of reconciliation, right, and restoration, how beautiful it is. Whenever we're able to have honest conversations, and I truly believe that when we handle things with the heart posture and with the. Character of Christ. I mean, y'all, it can be a game changer in our life, but also other people's lives. And so my challenge to all of us is that have honest conversations. Do the hard thing, like be willing to provide clarity.'cause I always say this, I think clarity is kind. And being honest and talking to somebody, y'all, it's a gift. Just as our presence is a present, I think the honest conversations are a gift. My point number two I'd love to make on this one is respect boundaries. I. Respect boundaries.'cause good friendships allow room for individuality. So we need to respect our friend's space and our and their needs. And even if they're different from ours. And so we might not always understand, but I think it's really respectful to honor our friend's boundaries. And if they've asked for space or time, I think that it's honorable to do as they've asked. Right? I mean, that's the best thing we can do is. Just love them from a distance, pray for them. Try to do whatever we can to still allow them to know in our own small way that they are seen, that they're valued, that they're loved, and that they're heard. But sometimes we have to operate on somebody else's timeline. Right. My point number three is sometimes though we gotta know when to let go. And this is not easy at all, is it? I mean, unfortunately, sometimes friendships just, they fade. And I think that's okay because not every relationship is meant to last forever. I think we've all experienced some friendships that have been such a joy in our lives, right? And we can appreciate those good moments, but we also can let go with peace when it's time. And so with stating all of that, it now leads me to segue over into hot take number five, the Gift of Friendship. Friendship is a two-way street. And I think whenever it's done well, y'all, it's one of life's greatest blessings. Friends remind us that we're not alone. They make the hard days easier, and they add so much joy to the good days. And so I. I just wanna encourage you in knowing that your intentionality matters the way that you're living your life matters, and the way that you are loving others so stinking Well, gosh, it's a blessing. So I just wanna say thank you because I'm sure you're listening to this. You're thinking about Yeah, like fist bump in the air. Let's go.'cause I am a good friend every day that ends in Y in English, of course. And. If you don't know that, then all the days a week in and why. But in all seriousness, I think that I'd love to leave you with a closing hot take of the best friendships are built on love and respect and shared experiences. They don't have to be perfect, thank goodness, right? I am far from perfect. Maybe you're the same, that you're not perfect either, but y'all. The best friendships are the ones that bring value to your life. And remember, when I stop and I think about one of the greatest gifts that age in life has taught me is that we don't need a hundred friends. You just need a few who truly matter, and the ones who are willing to do life with you, with intentionality, and that they give you the greatest gift of letting you know that you are seen, that you're valued. That you are loved and that you are hurt. So in closing, sweet Friends, my call to action to each of us, is that, think about a friend, maybe two friends, three friends, maybe five, I don't know, but at least think about one friend who's made a big impact on your life. And then my challenge is to ask you in your call to action is take a moment and thank them. Send them a message, write them a no. Or tell them in person. Let them know how much they mean to you. I can promise you that that will probably bless them more than you could ever imagine. And so as I'm about to sign off, I'm gonna say again'cause this is just what all the podcasters do. I figure I'm putting together this content and I am hoping that it is Holy Spirit led and that it is blessing you. So if today's episode blessed you, then I'm gonna ask you, we share it with a friend who inspires you so that we can spread the love and celebrate the power of friendship. Thanks for tuning in to this Friendship episode. I'm Mandy and I'll see you next time for more conversations about life, love, and connection. Remember, a true friend is one of life's greatest gifts, so cherish them. Well keep chasing, change and living with purpose. Goodbye sweet friends, France.